Chapter 28

Kylo Ren savored the feeling of having Rey so close to him. A part of him was grateful for her little rebellion. It saved him the trouble of inventing a reason to do what he really wanted to do.

"Clearly you cannot be trusted to remain by yourself. I tried to be lenient with you but that ends now. From here on out, you will always be in my presence. Whatever independence you would have had is now revoked."

Rey stopped her frantic pacing to look at him with disbelief.

"What on earth are you saying?"

Her tone was full of incredulity. Kylo hopped that she never fully lost that naivete she possessed. He found it charming.

"You are much too strong to be left alone and no one else can properly guard you. So, it falls to me to see that you stay in line." He kept is tone monotonous and bored. It would not do to show her how much he wanted this.

"You're mad if you think I can stay near you for one more second."

Her words stung far more than they should but Kylo steeled his resolve. It was unrealistic to think she would come around so quickly. She still denied who he was and who they were together.

"If you want any measure of independence, it will need to be earned. Now come here."

"What, it isn't enough that we are in the same room together?" Her sneering tone frayed Kylo's last nerve.

Using the Force, he lifted her and set her down in front of him. He enjoyed the sight of her glaring up at him for a few moments before sitting down in front of her. She tried to back away but he held tight.

"Give me your hands," he commanded.

Rey looked like she wanted to tell him off but his intense look stopped whatever rude response she was going to give him.

"Your lessons for today are not over. Give me your hands." His tone was even harder now, each word coming out clipped.

Slowly Rey raised her hands to his. She was clearly wary of what came next but was afraid to push him any farther. Smart girl he thought. They sat cross-legged facing each other. They were so close that their knees touched. Kylo could feel the tension radiating off her. He on the other hand was perfectly at ease. Taking one of her hands by the wrist, he turned it over so that her hand rested palm up on his own. He then did the same with her other hand.

The backs of her hands were much softer than he would have imagined given that she had lived most of her life in a desert. It took a large part of his resolve not to caress her. Instead, he focused on her face and stuck to the lesson.

She looked down at their hands with no small amount of confusion.

"What are we doing?" She asked, warily.

"Your meditative skills need work. Your grasp of the Force is tenuous at best." He kept is tone matter of fact.

Her nose scrunched up in the most adorable fashion as she sputtered her response. "My grasp of the Force got me out of this room and nearly off of this planet."

"Yes, Rey. Nearly."

Her anger spiked and she moved to get away from him. He tightened his grip on her hands to keep her in place.

"You are not able to access your full potential because you deny half of yourself," he explained patiently.

"What are you talking about?"

"The balance in the Force does not come from pitting the light against the dark. That only furthers conflict. Balance comes from the individual embracing all aspects of their nature. Both the light and the dark exist within us all. To deny one part is to deny oneself, and a person in conflict with who they are can never really master anything."

Rey stopped her struggles at his words. Clearly, this was not how she imagined this interaction would go.

"You fear the dark and deny that it is a part of you when that is not true. You are not some monastic judge, you have far too much passion for that."

"I will never succumb to the dark side," she said defiantly.

"Allowing the dark to overpower you is not our goal. Our goal is to find the balance of light and dark within you. You cannot find balance if you wholeheartedly reject what is already a part of you."

Rey moved to speak again but Kylo was tired of words. Better to show her than to waste any more time arguing. Channeling the Force through him, he allowed the dark side to wash over himself and flow into Rey.

She was unprepared for the onslaught and unable to raise any defenses.

…..

Rey felt the dark side cascade over her. It overwhelmed her senses and she felt her consciousness float away on its powerful tide. For a while she could not focus her thoughts, she was just lost on a sea of sensations.

If the light side was defined by reason and detachment, the dark was defined by instinct and passion. Rey had to admit, there was something very familiar with these sensations. It wasn't like when she experienced the dark side with Snoke. That had felt sinister and corrupting. This was something altogether different.

All emotions were present in this sea, not just the hate and anger that Rey expected. There was love, joy and the desire to protect here as well. Rey knew that these emotions could easily be corrupted into jealousy and possessiveness but here, in the heart of vast ocean, Rey knew that it was the individual force wielder that yielded to corruption. Good and evil had nothing to do with the light and dark. They were two sides of the same coin.

Rey had always desired connections. To have a family that cherished her and to have people that she loved in return. The Jedi preached that connections and attachment corrupted the force wielder. But Rey never understood that. Surely her desire to love and to be love was only a positive. Family and friends taught people the importance of life and there was nothing wrong with trying to protect those that you love.

Gradually, Rey felt herself relax into the sensations. Embracing them and floating along with the currents. She didn't know how long she drifted. It could be hours or it could be years. She allowed it to wash over her. Slowly she became aware of a voice, calling out to her. The voice was quiet at first but progressively got louder. Rey felt like she recognized it but she didn't want to leave this place.

The voice became more insistent, pressing in on her skull. Why wouldn't the voice leave her alone to drift. The sea of sensation held her and embraced her. Finally, she recognized the voice, or at least she thought she did. Somehow, she knew the person speaking. There was a nagging sensation at the back of her mind. It was important that she remember.

The need to know broke the spell of sensation. She began to think again and not just feel. This place could not be real. She was somewhere else. The confusion she was feeling gave way to fear. The sea of sensation no longer felt safe. What unknown horrors could be swimming in its depths.

Panic was no setting in and Rey thrashed about, desperate to find a safe harbor. She wished that the voice was here with her. That it was something that she could grasp and hold on to.

"Easy sweetheart. I've got you."

The voice was deep, rich and masculine. Rey knew that she knew the voice but she could not for the life of her think from where. It was low and confident and Rey felt like it could help her.

"Where are you? Who are you?" Rey could hear the panic in her own tone but she was not ashamed. She didn't want to be alone here anymore. She never wanted to be alone.

"It is alright. Let me guide you."

The voice was calm and full of confidence. Rey wanted to trust it. She no longer felt safe in this place.

"Please," she cried. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

"You are not alone," the voice replied. "I am with you, always. Now reach out your hand. Let me guide you."

Rey reached out her hand and was relieved to feel it grasped in a strong hold. She still couldn't see who it was but she knew it was the voice. He had her. She wasn't alone anymore.

Rey nearly cred in relief. This was what she had always wanted. Someone who would come back for her. Rey felt herself being lifted from the sea. She didn't fight it, she allowed herself to be pulled along. She didn't know where she was going and frankly didn't care. Just so long as she wasn't alone.

….

Kylo watched as Rey groggily opened her eyes. The experience had clearly exhausted her and he knew that she was not entirely aware. Gently, he picked her up and carried her to their chambers. More than anything, he wanted to place Rey down in his bed but he knew it was much too soon for that. So instead he laid her down on her cot.

He felt reluctant to let her go. She looked so peaceful in her daze. As he moved to rise, she reached out and gripped his hand with a strength that defied her size.

"Don't leave me," came her whispered plea.

Kylo knew that she was still under the influence of the dark force meditation. Rey would never admit that to him, at least not yet. He doubted she would even recall this moment come morning. Still he knew he would be unable to leave her side.

Sitting down beside her, he stayed until she had fallen into a deep sleep. It was only then that she released his hand.