Chapter 9.
Harvey's heart was beating hard in his chest and he was sweaty. Things hadn't seemed to be getting better even when the paramedics arrived. Mike had been in so much pain, that he had screamed right out. But Harvey didn't blame him at all for doing so, the kid had said that he had been bound in the same way for at least three days. Three goddamn days!
He had seen terror in Mike's eyes, he had been terrified even when they had moved him to lay on his stomach. He realized then that just the action of having to lay on his stomach was what had terrified Mike. Mike had begged him not to leave then, it had been heartbreaking. He had laid on his knees in front of the kid trying to calm him down. By the time the ambulance had arrived Mike was laying on the ground and had been crying with his eyes screwed shut. He had fought when they touched him. Harvey had struggled then with mix feelings of wanting to push them off Mike and wanting them to help the kid faster.
Mike was lifted onto a gurney and then into the ambulance. Mike didn't seem to be aware of what's going on anymore. They placed an oxygen mask over his face and after checking him over a bit they injected him with something.
"What's happening? Is he alright?" Harvey asked from where he was standing next to the ambulance door.
"He's just asleep." One of the paramedics said. "You're his friend? Are you coming with us?"
"Yes." Harvey said and climbed into the ambulance and sat down on a bench next to Mike. They left a few minutes later. Mike was connected to an IV and still had the oxygen mask on. The paramedics next to Harvey was working on cutting the shirt around Mike's arms and Harvey clenched his jaw when he saw the torn skin underneath. The area of Mike's skin where the ropes had been were severely bruised, in some places the skin had torn and was bleeding.
"This look's infected." The paramedic said as he started to tend to the wound, bandaging it up, before moving over to the other arm. It was just as bad.
"Do you know if he's hurt anywhere else?"
"I think he was hit over the head. It was blood in his hair." Harvey said. "I don't know if he was hurt along his neck as well."
"Yes, there is a lot of dried up blood over there. I'll take a closer look." The man tilted Mike's head a bit upwards and they could see a long cut that stretched right across his throat. Someone had cut Mike's throat.
"That looks pretty bad, but they will take care of it at the hospital."
Harvey didn't know what to say, so he just nodded. During the rest of the ambulance ride he sat in silence next to Mike's body. The general state of Mike was depressing and upsetting to see. It had only been four days, but Mike looked like he was thinner. He was so dirty as well. Harvey wondered where he had been kept. Mike had mentioned something about them throwing him food next to him on the floor. The thought of Mike being kept bound at a dirty floor somewhere enraged him so much that his fists almost hurt from him tightening them so much.
Mike's reactions after he was released had also worried Harvey. The kid had just cried. That was heartbreaking. Mike had been through something truly traumatic these past few days, and Harvey didn't even know what had happened while he was captive. He couldn't help but wonder how this would affect Mike. Would he, Harvey, be able to help manage it?
The paramedic had moved over to check Mike's abdomen and chest. He cut open his shirt and moved it to the side. Harvey took a deep breath at the sight that met them. Mike's chest and stomach was discolored in different shades of dark blue and yellow. It looked awful; he must have been kicked on several occasions. Someone had kicked Mike, his associate. And it was his fault. Mike was here in this condition because of him. How would he ever be able to live with this?
"Sir, are you alright?"
Harvey noticed then that the paramedics question was directed towards him and not Mike.
"No, I'm not alright with seeing him like this."
"I understand. He's not in pain right now though, I can assure you that."
Harvey didn't feel that much better from that knowledge. Mike had been in pain earlier, that was enough. He watched in silence as the paramedic carefully felt around Mike's abdomen. He didn't seem that concerned so Harvey didn't ask anything.
They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later and Harvey stiffly jumped out and then helped them with Mike's gurney. He followed behind Mike into the entrance. He was stopped a while later though and someone that was standing close to him told him that he had to wait now.
The hours that followed before he could see Mike again were both hectic as well as insanely slow. He started by placing a call to Donna, telling her that he found Mike. She was overjoyed and Harvey was sure that she was crying by the time they hang up. The first thing that she had asked was if he had gotten Mike back.
"Yes. I got him Donna. We are at the hospital."
"And how is he doing? Is he alright? Did they treat him okay?"
She sounded so worried and he really wanted to answer her yes, but that wouldn't be true at all.
"He's… he is not doing so well. He was in pretty bad shape Donna. Judging by his appearance they treated him like shit."
"Oh God…"
He didn't know what else to tell her about that right now, so he just said that Mike was being looked after. Harvey managed to convince her to not head over straight away. He just had a feeling that maybe Mike should have a say in when he wanted to see Donna. He didn't want to make the kid uncomfortable. Besides it was late, and not it wasn't for sure that they would be let up today. Or he would demand to see the kid, no one was going to stop him from that.
He asked a nurse about Mike, even though he had been told that they would find him when there was any news. He got the same info again, but he wanted to make sure they knew he was there. He had spent the time pacing up and down the waiting area. Sometimes he stopped to look out the window. More than once he brought out his phone and found himself opening the text messages he had received from Mike's kidnappers. He was doing just that when someone called his name. Finally! But it wasn't Mike's doctor behind him, instead it was two men in suits. Harvey understood that they were the police. They introduced themselves and asked to talk to him. Harvey agreed as long as it didn't stop him from going to see Mike if that became a possibility. The policemen agreed and they went to some private waiting area they had found. Harvey told them everything that had happened from the meeting outside the courthouse to the confirmation that it actually was those men at the exchange. He answered their questions that they had after, including one about not calling them sooner.
"I wasn't going to risk his life." Was all Harvey answered to that. They decided that they would come back to talk to Mike the next day. After that they followed Harvey back to the other waiting room to see if there were any updates on Mike. They also asked if Mike's injuries had been documented and got an affirmative answer. It took another haft an hour of waiting before a doctor approached him.
The doctor told him that he could see Mike now, he also said that Mike was malnourished and dehydrated but also that they hadn't found any broken bones or internal bleeding. Mike was just bruised up. That was enough according to Harvey.
They told him to that Mike's wrist had been looked after and that he needed to have those bandages changed twice a day. They said that they had been worried about internal injuries along Mike's abdomen since the examination revealed bruises that indicated that Mike had been kicked. Luckily not kicked hard enough to cause internal damage apparently. Harvey still wanted to kill them as he followed the doctor along a corridor.
Mike was laying on a bed with a blanket over him. He had been cleaned up and had bandages on both of his arms and along his neck. It was his eyes that got Harvey really concerned though. He had never seen Mike look like that before.
-SUITS-
Mike woke up from someone shaking him a bit. At first, he had freaked out a bit, when he didn't know where he was or who it was that was shaking him. But the next second or so he realized that he was at a hospital. He had no idea of how he had gotten there, he was laying on a gurney and now a nurse and a doctor asked if he was ready to be moved. He said that he was. He didn't need to do much, because there were people there that moved him, actually lifted him on to an exam table or something.
This meant that it was over. It was really over now. He was getting help. Harvey had come for him. He had been saved.
They started to examine him after that. The doctor spoke to him the entire time and explained what he was doing. Mike just laid there and let them do whatever they wanted. He had asked for Harvey though, and was told that he was waiting for him to be finished. The knowledge of that Harvey was close made him relax a bit. He felt so shaky and tired and weak.
He was taken for X-rays, since they wanted to determine that he didn't have any fractures or internal bleeding. He wasn't in that much pain now. They had given him something for that they said. His arms were examined, cleaned and bandaged. That hurt. He didn't want to look at his arms at all. He had for a short while when they removed the bandages that the paramedics must have put on him, they had looked so awful that he had wanted to cry. It was opened wounds on his arms. He hadn't realized that it had been so bad.
He was moved to a private room. They placed him on an IV and gave him a nasal cannula. They told him that he was dehydrated and malnourished. Mike just nodded. He didn't have any broken bones, but they said he had a slight concussion.
They had cleaned him up a bit as well, and someone had bandaged his throat. He had a large bandage there now. Mike didn't think that was necessary but didn't say anything. He felt a bit more human like this. The bed was slightly raised. He was wearing clean hospital clothes and he was warm. He was so tired and felt a bit numb. He wanted to sleep again, but he also wanted Harvey to get there first. He didn't know what had happened with his kidnappers, he wanted to know that. He also wished that he wouldn't have to be alone. He just didn't want that. He asked for Harvey again. He repressed a sudden urge to just scream for him. Why wasn't he coming?
He was starting to feel dizzy, even though he was laying down. He felt a pressure over his chest. He didn't tell that to the nurse that came when he pushed the call button. He just asked her if she had seen Harvey. She told him she would go and find him. As soon as the door closed behind her, he felt worried. He didn't know why. He had wanted to see Harvey, but now he almost felt scared. What would he say? How should he act? What would Harvey do?
He remembered everything that happened after he was released. He had made an absolute fool of himself. He had cried like a child. He had screamed in pain. He hadn't been able to control himself at all. And now, he was worried that he wouldn't be able to do that now either. But he knew that he wanted to see Harvey, he didn't want to be here alone.
It took so long. What if Harvey wouldn't come? He couldn't relax and kept staring at the door. He felt afraid and he didn't know why. It was over now. He wasn't being hurt or kept against his will anymore, he still felt scared.
Finally, the door opened, and Harvey stepped inside. Mike felt how his eyes teared up from the relief that flooded over him. He wanted to reach out for Harvey, to hold on to him. He didn't do that.
"Hi kid." Harvey smiled at him.
"Hey." Mike said.
"You look a bit better. They cleaned you up." Harvey said. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay, I guess." Mike answered.
"How are your arms? They still hurt?"
"No, not really."
Mike wished Harvey would sit down. Or wasn't he staying? He didn't say anything.
"A doctor told me that nothing was broken." Harvey said next.
Mike shook his head a little, but he wasn't sure that was the truth. It was just that no one could see it. He didn't know what to say now. Things felt awkward and strange. Harvey was still just standing there. Why couldn't he just sit down. Was he really going to leave? Mike tried not to but felt how he started to tense, and his breathing quickened. He felt so pathetic that he was reacting like this.
"Do… do you want to sit down?" He then asked.
"I would." Harvey said. "But I don't know where. There is no chair in here."
Mike looked around and immediately felt stupid. He hadn't even realized that. "Oh." He said. He wanted to cry now. He didn't know why, and it was so frustrating. "Maybe you could find one." He said.
"Eh… yeah, sure. I'll do that." Harvey said and started to walk towards the door. Mike had to stop him.
"Wait. Are you coming back?" He found himself asking.
"Yes, Mike." Harvey nodded and smiled weirdly at him. "I'm just going to find a chair."
Mike nodded stupidly. He was so stupid. Why had he asked that? But he just felt scared now that Harvey wouldn't return. What if he didn't find a chair and he would just go home. A few tears appeared and he wiped them away. He needed to get a grip. He placed both his arms over his chest and waited.
The room next door had two chairs, someone must have taken it from Mike's room and forgotten to put it back. Harvey took it now and went back to Mike. The younger man didn't look good at all. He was too pale and hugged his arms close to his chest. Mike jerked when Harvey closed the door and he turned towards him. Harvey felt how his heart sank when he saw how Mike's eyes teared up, but he quickly wiped his face and looked down. Harvey choose to pretend that he hadn't seen it and placed the chair next to the bed.
"Are you okay?" He asked. Mike looked at him for a long time before he shook his head.
"Yeah." Harvey whispered. Of course, he wasn't. It had been an idiotic question. What else would he ask then? Mike solved his dilemma.
"Did you look for me?" Mike didn't know exactly why he asked that question. Maybe he just wanted the confirmation that while he was going through all of that someone had cared enough to worry. He wanted Harvey's reassurance.
He got it.
"Yes, I did." Harvey leaned closer to Mike. His associate didn't look at him. "I called a bunch of times when you didn't show up, then I went to your apartment. I found your bag in the entrance. That's when I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what."
Mike nodded a bit and moved a bit on the bed so that he could lay flatter. He curled up a bit, pulled the blanket higher up and hugged himself again. A thought hit him.
"Did you find my keys? I lost them when…"
He trailed off. He didn't want to think about that.
"Yes, I found them. Your phone as well. I have everything at my place."
"Oh… thanks."
"Sure."
"What about my bike?" Mike looked up at him with hopeful eyes. Harvey pursed his lips and shook his head, leaning back in his chair.
"It was thrown outside."
"But did you take care of it as well?"
"No Mike, it was no use. It was trashed. Both wheels were missing."
Mike immediately felt like he had been punched. He didn't know why this hit him so hard, but it did. On top of everything his bike had been destroyed. Why would that happen? Who would do that?
"But… but why? My bike…I need my bike, Harvey. My bike. It's not fair." He didn't know what he was saying, but he just felt sad.
"Hey, it's alright. It's just a bike." Harvey said.
"No, it's not!"
"Okay, okay. You know what? I'll get you a new one. I'll buy you a new bike."
Mike looked at him and blinked a couple of times. "You will?" he asked.
"Yeah. Sure. Anything you want Mike."
"Thank you. Thank you, Harvey. Thank you. I just… I just need it."
"Yes, I understand that." Harvey smiled at him, but Mike didn't know why.
They were quiet for a bit after that. Harvey wanted to ask Mike a lot of questions, but he also didn't want to upset the kid. Right now, Mike did already look upset. He was shaking but looked like he wasn't aware of him doing so. Harvey didn't like it at all. Mike's breathing was pretty quick as well.
"Did you call the police?" Mike asked a little while later with a quiet voice.
"No, I couldn't. Not while they had you." Harvey said as he leaned a bit deeper over Mike. He suddenly had an urge to stroke the kid's forehead. He didn't do that though.
"Or I did call them at first." Harvey remembered then. "At first when I knew something had happened to you. I went back to the office and I called the police and told them about what I had found at your place. But I didn't know when it had happened, if it was the night before or in the morning or if you even were in trouble. Anyway, they only said that they would look into it."
Harvey paused for a bit. Mike was just laying there.
"I got the ransom text then. It said that they would kill you if I called the cops. So, I didn't do it again."
Mike didn't answer. He had calmed down but was still shaking slightly. He opened his mouth but closed it again. Harvey wanted to tell him it was alright.
"Did you pay?" Mike then whispered and Harvey watched as tears appeared in Mike's eyes.
"Yes. I did." He said and felt how his own eyes started to get a bit wet.
"You paid a million dollars? For me?"
"Yes Mike, I did."
"Thank you." Mike said so quietly that Harvey almost didn't hear it.
"No, don't thank me. Of course I paid, Mike."
Mike turned his head up to be able to look at him better then. He didn't say anything. Harvey studied him closely.
"Did you think I wouldn't pay, Mike?"
Mike looked away again and Harvey saw that he shrank down a bit more in the bed. He drew a hand over his eyes. "I was hoping you would." He swallowed hard.
"But you were thinking I wouldn't?"
"I wasn't sure. They said that you… A million dollars is a lot of money, Harvey."
"I have a lot of money Mike." Harvey didn't know if he was trying to make a joke or not, it was just the first thing that came to his mind. He didn't ask what they had said, and Mike didn't elaborate.
Mike tried to stop his breathing from speeding up again, at the same time as he tried to force the damn tears away. He didn't want to cry in front of Harvey, but his eyes weren't fully in his control it seemed.
Harvey had said that he had paid for him. Just like that he had answered that he had paid. Like that was a certainty. He hadn't known Harvey felt that about him. That Harvey would do that for him.
"What happened after?" He wanted to know.
"After what?"
"After you found me? The police were there right?"
"Yes, they were. They were first to respond after I called 911."
"And…and did they catch them?"
"Oh… you mean… No, they didn't. They were already gone by then. They want to talk to you later though, when you are up for it."
Mike nodded. He didn't feel up for it at all. He didn't want to talk about what had happened there. He didn't want to relive it, especially not in front of other people he didn't know. He didn't say anything about that now though.
For now, it felt like he had asked all the questions he wanted to know about and gotten the answers. Harvey had been looking for him, he had paid the ransom for him to get him free and those men were still out there. The last part freaked him out. He didn't want to think about that. What if they never were caught? What if they came after him again? What if they took him again and brought him back to that place? He couldn't do that! He couldn't go through that again. He looked at Harvey. He wanted to reach out for him. Hold on to him. Harvey had let him lay on his lap earlier. It had felt so comforting then, now he wanted that feeling back. He didn't feel comforted at all now, even if Harvey was sitting right there next to him. He knew he wouldn't get what he was looking for. It wasn't possible, not between the two of them. It wasn't the relationship they had. But Mike didn't have that kind of relationship with anyone. That hurt so much in him at the moment. That kind of reassurance he wanted right now was something that only family would provide. He didn't have any family left.
He did nothing. He just laid there. It felt awkward when Harvey was just sitting there. He felt the pressure of talking, acting normal. But he didn't know what to say. And he didn't have it in him to act right now. Maybe Harvey would understand and cut him some slack.
He was worried that Harvey would get tired of it and leave. Maybe Harvey felt awkward as well? Or maybe he wanted to get back to normal now when Mike was back, maybe he wanted to head back to the office? He didn't dare to look into Harvey's eyes. He hardly dared to move. He was tired, but he couldn't fall asleep either. The thought of waking up alone was crushing him. It felt like he was on the edge, of what he didn't know. But it felt like at any time he would burst.
"Mike, do you want to talk?" Harvey asked so suddenly that he jerked form the man's voice. He looked up at Harvey then.
"About what?" He asked.
"About what happened to you."
Mike felt how he tensed. He shook his head as he felt how his eyes teared up anew.
"No. Please…" He said.
"Okay, okay. You don't have to, Mike. I just thought that maybe… maybe it would be good."
Mike just shook his head again but didn't move other than that. His mind had transported him back begged to the last time he had said please. He had asked not to have the tape over his mouth. Pleaded to deaf ears.
"Mike?" Harvey said, startling him. "You okay?"
He shook his head again. He wasn't okay. It felt like he never would be okay again. Yet again he wanted to reach out and hold on to Harvey. Just to hold on to him a little, maybe then he would be able to close his eyes. He felt tears run down from his eyes when he blinked.
"I'm sorry." Harvey said. Mike didn't know for what.
"Is it anything I can get you?" Harvey asked. Mike shook his head. Harvey was quiet for a while again.
"I called Donna earlier. To let her know I got you back. She wanted to come over, but it's pretty late so I told her to wait. She sends her love though. She wanted me to tell you that she has been really worried."
Mike nodded and wanted to smile. He wished she would have come anyway. Maybe she would have taken his hand, or maybe even laid down next to him. More tears gathered in his eyes at the thought of that. It felt difficult to breathe, to relax enough to do it normally.
He wanted to sleep but couldn't.
He jerked again when Harvey moved a bit on his chair. Then he made to stand up. Mike felt panic rush up again. No!
"Harvey. No…" He said and felt so pathetic when his voice broke.
"What? I was just… Mike? What's wrong? What is it?" Harvey was standing up now. Mike was breathing hard.
"Are you… are you leaving?"
"What? No, I was just going to…"
"Can't you stay?" Mike interrupted him. "Stay here. Please..."
Harvey sat down again. He looked worried.
"Of course, Mike, of course I can stay. I wasn't leaving. I was going to get you some tissues." Harvey mentioned for a table by the door.
"Oh." Mike said. He felt embarrassed, but Harvey still had that worried look on his face. He might as well ask now.
"Will you… will you stay the whole night?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Yeah…" Mike whispered without looking at Harvey.
Harvey nodded. "I will do that, Mike." He said.
Mike wanted to cry. "Thank you." He breathed instead. He wiped his eyes.
Harvey nodded next to him. They were both silent, Mike tried to make his breaths even. Then Harvey reached out a hand and placed it over Mike's. Mike was tense at first, but then Harvey moved around his hand and took a hold of Mike's. Mike grabbed on to Harvey's as well. He held on as hard as he could. He then found himself moving closer to their hands until he was pressing his forehead towards Harvey's hand. Finally, he got a little bit of comfort. Just a bit and he wanted to just hold on and not let go. He cried then. He couldn't stop it any longer. He cried from a mix of things, both mostly relief and fear.
Harvey was watching the younger man. He didn't dare to move an inch right now. Mike had his hand trapped now; he was pressing his forehead against it. Harvey saw that he was crying, heard it as well. He knew now that it had been the right move to hold the kids' hand. It was almost as if Mike had been waiting for it. Now the younger man held on hard. Their hands were already getting a bit sweaty.
He could see that Mike really was struggling. Harvey felt helpless when he didn't know what to do to make it better. Mike didn't want to talk; he had made that clear. And now he didn't want Harvey to leave. He had never seen Mike behave like this, never wanted to either. He couldn't imagine what the kid had been through to make him act like this. It was heartbreaking, Harvey felt so sorry for him.
It had pained him to have to tell Mike that his kidnappers had gotten away. It must have scared Mike a lot, especially in the state he was in right now. Harvey really wanted to know what had happened to Mike while he was captured. But it wasn't the time to ask about that now. Mike was too traumatized for that. He was still holding on hard to his hand. He was still crying heartbreakingly. It was like he couldn't stop. Harvey brought up his other hand and stroked Mike's shoulder. At first the kid jerked and moaned, but then he relaxed, his grip on Harvey's hand even released a little after a few minutes. His breathing slowed down as well. He stopped crying so hard. Harvey wasn't sure on what to do or what to say to the kid. So, he had opted for to just sit there and offer support in form of his presence. It seemed to be enough. Maybe Mike just needed to let it out. Harvey didn't blame him at all.
A couple more minutes and Harvey was pretty sure that Mike was sleeping. That was good. Mike really needed rest. Harvey didn't move though. He didn't want Mike to wake up again, and he was afraid that the kid would do so if Harvey removed his hand from Mike's. The younger man was still laying curled up around their hands. It was almost like Mike had moved so that he would be able to be as close to Harvey's hand as possible. It hurt to see it. He understood that Mike must want to be close to him. It was kind of endearing, even though he never would say that out loud to anyone. Mike sought comfort from him, and Harvey wanted to give him that.
Mike had asked him if he had looked for him. It had been his first question. It pained Harvey to think about that maybe Mike had wondered about that while he was kidnapped. If Harvey was looking for him or not?
Then Mike had asked if he had paid for him. Mike had been uncertain about that as well. As if it ever had been a question whether he would or wouldn't pay. Mike had doubted him. That actually hurt a bit in Harvey to think about that. Mike had been kidnapped and hadn't been sure that anyone would pay the demanded money for him, if anyone thought that he was worth it. Didn't the kid know how much Harvey valued him? Had he failed to make that known? Probably he had. He needed to change that somehow. As soon as Mike was better, he would.
-SUITS-