And now, for the grand finale-or not, I'm still deciding. You guys let me know.

I want to give a thank you to anyone and everyone who reviewed, read, favorited or followed this Fic throughout this entire process. Thank you for the kind words and the patience everyone had with me. This is...a bittersweet moment but this is just one down, many to go. I do think the sequel will not be in the First POV.

I have many ideas for these guys, especially for Lillian, I think I'm going to stick with her for a while. I started this fanfic as a child, (I was 15) and now I'm an adult just writing to pass the time. I understand I'm not the best and I really wasn't trying to be but I just hope I learned more along the way to better my writing style.

Thanks again to everyone.

And now...Enjoy!

Goodbye

Days later...

"What else do you need to pack?" Ian asked, grabbing a box full of my clothes to bring downstairs.

"I'm leaving these clothes out until we actually have to leave. Then after that, all I have to send is the bed, the dresser—"

Ian shook his head, "Barry said you don't need to worry about stuff like that. There are beds and dressers at the house. He ordered some already."

I sighed, "You know sometimes the amount of money this man has scares me."

"Tell me about it, I feel like me paying rent is pocket change for him." Ian snorted. "Alright I'll bring this to the movers, then we should be good for the next few days until we leave."

"What about Christine? How'd she react when you told her?"

Ian shook his head, "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say she's not happy that'd I'd...never mind. Anyways, I'll be right back."

"Ok," I have a feeling that this is the beginning of the end for Christine and Ian. I also have a feeling it's because of me that Ian is pushing aside this relationship he has with Chris. I got to convince him to stay or convince Christine to come with, but I can't just tell her to change her life because of Ian. Chris isn't that type of person to live for another one, she lives for herself. I like that...

It's been a couple of days since I heard from April or anyone else for that matter. I've been so busy trying to heal and packing all my stuff that I haven't noticed. I was honestly expecting everyone to be here when I go home from the hospital and talk to about me leaving but when no one called, no one came I guess I just figured April actually kept her mouth closed about me leaving. I guess I should be thankful she did exactly what I asked. Now I can leave quietly.

After I got home, I once again, slept like I've never slept before. Barry came into my room the other day and sat me down to talk. He wants me to see a therapist and possibly take some meds if need be. According to him, he's been worried about me not eating, sleeping all the time, and becoming super distant with everyone. It's textbook depression. What can you expect though, I got shot and now I have to move states. I have a hole in my shoulder and my heart is fucking broken so yeah, excuse me if I'm a little sad.

My mother is packing her stuff and Tony's stuff reluctantly and slowly. At first, she didn't even want to talk to Barry or even look at him, today he's walking on thin ice around her but they're still talking. When we leave, hopefully, she'll understand that this is necessary.

Everything is hard to do with one fucking arm. Doctors want me in a sling for at least a week, and then I should start moving as much as I could. All I wanted to do was shower, to be honest. I hate not being able to stay clean. I wanted to brush my teeth and shower, that was all.

I went over to sit on my bed, laying back as I let out a sigh.

The sad part about everything is that I can feel myself going down this dark and long spiral. I'm becoming cold, less caring. My sadness, although still there at the moment, is slowly drifting into this numb feeling I had once before. It was scary...granted the reason behind it wasn't really that I was dumped by a guy I loved, it was worse. I was broke, someone broke me. After that, I could barely function, but then we moved and moved and moved until I came to New York.

Now someone broke me again and I'm moving again. Funny how life works I guess...

I let my body relax for a moment, and before I knew it my eyes were growing heavier and heavier and my breathing was becoming slower and then...I was out.

When I came to I was in the same position, almost like I only closed my eyes for a minute. The light in my room has shifted, damn...how long was I out?

The clock beside my bed said it was around 6. Groaning, I sat up on my bed clutching my shoulder as it began to pulsate with pain. I sighed in annoyance, I guess I have to take some medicine. I groaned once again when I realized to take the meds I have to eat something. Might as well I guess...

I got up from my bed and walked downstairs, yawning and scratching my head.

"Aniya, this is happening whether you like it or not."

"I don't want to leave New York, Barry. I don't want to leave you! Goddamnit, why can't you understand that?"

I sighed, going over to the fridge and pulling out some juice to drink.

My mother came rushing into the kitchen as I poured my juice, Barry, right on her heels.

"I do understand Aniya, I need you to understand that I'm doing what's best for you and the safety of my family. You and Lillian already got shot. Lillian could've lost an arm, hell she could've been shot somewhere else. I'm not going to risk another one of these attacks and have it possibly hurt Tony." Barry yelled. He's repeating the same thing over and over to my mom. Same fight, different day. I'm used to my mother's yelling. I mean she used to do it every day with what's-his-face...John...

"I don't get how easy this is for you to do. Almost like you don't want us around." My mother growled at him. "I married you to stay with, not so you can just send me away." My mother clutched her head, "Oh god, and you're going to send me money. Think of what your parents will say!"

"Who cares?" I mumbled, placing the juice back in the fridge.

"Butt out, Lilly." My mother snapped.

"She's right. Why do you care about my parents? I'm placing you in a house that is nowhere near theirs." Barry said.

"It's in the same state, that's too close."

"Where did you want to go then?"

"Here! I want to stay with you!" My mother cried. She stopped for a moment, crossing her arms across her chest, trying her best to not cry.

Barry was silent for a while, but then sighed and let his head hang. For a minute, I was scared he was going to give in. I could see him wanting to surrender, shaking his head in defeat.

"I want you here too. I want you with me. Always." Oh fuck, now I have to unpack everything and explain to April that I'm actually staying and she probably told the guys already so I'm probably gonna have to tell them I'm not going either. Jesus fuck! "But I will not let you or your daughter, or my son be anywhere near me if it's not safe."

I let out a breath of relief, whew! That was close. I went over to the sink and set down my glass. "Well, I'll be in my room," I said before going back upstairs.

"Lillian," Barry said before I could take a step. "Could you please convince your mother to go?"

I shook my head, "Barry, she is as stubborn as she is pretty. She wants to be with you. What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. Tell her why you're okay with leaving!" Barry suddenly sighed and shook his head. "No, never mind, I'm sorry."

I fell silent, he was apologizing because he knew exactly why I'm okay with leaving. I sighed, "Mom, I think we should go because Tony deserves to live a day like a normal child. We shouldn't have to live life in fear. I'm okay with leaving because as long as I have you and Tony and Ian, I'm fine. Barry has to do what he has to do."

"You want to leave because of Raphael." My mother corrected.

Barry's eyes widened in horror before he turned to her, "Aniya!" He yelled.

It's been a hot minute since my mother has said something like that. "And you don't want to go to San Diego because it reminds you of dad." I don't know if that was true but once it was out of my mouth I didn't care if it was or not. What am I a psychopath that I don't even feel sorry for saying that?

"Lillian!" Barry snapped back around to me.

My mother gasped before she stormed off to her room. Maybe it was true... I don't know. I don't care.

Barry came up to me, "Lilly, you shouldn't talk to your mother like that."

I suddenly felt defensive, "Barry, go take care of your wife and don't talk to me like I'm your daughter." I growled before walking back up the stairs. Why did I just say that? I didn't even mean it! In all honesty, I did feel like his daughter. He's treated my family amazingly and I just slap him in the face with that? Maybe I am becoming a psychopath.

I went over to my bathroom and once I finally was able to get the bottle of pain meds open, I took two and scooped some water from the sink into my mouth to help with swallowing them.

Why am I so mean? It's scaring me a little. I mean I guess I know why, but the last break up just made me timid, this break up is making me cold. What's the difference, my heart is just as broken as it was last time. I stared at myself in the mirror, my bright golden eyes didn't seem so bright anymore.

I began to shake my head when I heard sounds coming from my bedroom. My blood suddenly began to boil so much that I let out a growl like I was some kind of animal before I entered my room and yelled, "Get out!"

Raph was standing there, caught off guard at my tone. He held his arms out to stop me from coming anywhere near him, "Whoa whoa whoa, relax I'm just here to talk."

"No, get out," I shouted. "I don't ever want to hear you talk again!"

Raph was about to say something but once he noticed my arm wrapped up, he shut his mouth and sighed. "Lillian, I'm so...I'm so sorry for not being there to protect you."

"Protect me?" I laughed. "You broke up with me to protect me and I still got shot."

"I know, I know..." He sighed sadly. In all honesty, I probably looked just as bad as he did. He looked tired, like he hasn't been sleeping or something. He didn't look that much different but I'm sure he's acting differently. "I'm sorry..."

I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to hear him. I just wanted him to leave. "There, feel better? Now go!"

Raph suddenly glared at me, his stance remaining still. "Not until I tell you what you need to hear."

"I need to hear? I need to hear your footsteps running out that window before I push you out of it." I threatened coldly.

"I'm not leaving until I find out why you're treating everyone like shit." He snapped.

My eyes widened for a split second before I immediately glared, "Get out!"

"Why? You told April to not tell us you were leaving? Do you know how hurt Mikey was?"

Tears immediately fell from my eyes, "You don't get to ask me any questions." I said, my voice somehow staying as sturdy and angry as it could be. "You shouldn't even care."

Raph rolled his eyes, "Jesus Lillian…" He went over to the edge of my bed and sat down. "Of course, I care. I'm always going to care." He shook his head. "But I will not let you do this to my family. I won't let you break their heart just so you can break mine."

I laughed, "You deserve it."

"They do?" He asked me in an almost disgusted tone as if he was completely shocked by my words and actions. "I hurt you. I get it. But Mikey didn't. Donnie didn't. Leo, April, Casey didn't do anything."

I shook my head, "Raph, leave."

Raph sighed heavily before he looked up at me with so much anger that I almost felt scared. "If you leave, without saying goodbye, none of us will ever forgive you. And if you're okay with that, then I have nothing else to say. I wanted to end on good terms but that won't happen, so if you want to hate me, go ahead. But don't expect anything from me or my family."

"I don't need you!" I yelled before I even knew what I was saying. It felt like bile when it rolled off my tongue. "I don't need anyone anymore. I hate you. Get the fuck out of my house!"

"I'm not trying to argue with you. I am warning you-"

"You broke up with me and you expect me not to argue?"

Raph clenched his fists, bringing one up to his mouth and biting it in frustration. "Lillian. I am not here to argue about our break up. This has nothing to do with you and me and everything to do with the fact that you're being a bitch and acting like my brothers and April did something for you to treat them like they are nothing to you."

I felt shocked. I guess since we're not together he has no filter anymore. Or maybe he's trying to get me to hate him...either way, I do. I hate him at this moment. Seeing him hurts me beyond words, but knowing that he's right is like pouring salt in this wound I have. "What do you expect, Raphael? Everything reminds me of you. Your brothers, Casey, April... I don't want to think about you and seeing them..." I bit my trembling lips, looking away from his angry stare.

He sighed, "I get it, really I do. No one is happy with this decision. But I'm not trying to change-"

"You can't," I said sternly, wiping the tears from my eyes. "Even if you asked, or tried..." I looked down at my hand and shook my head. "I don't want to be with you now."

Raph looked hurt but he nodded. After a small moment of silence, he let out a breath like he was working up the courage to say something. He held out his hand, "Come say goodbye..." he said softly like he was trying not to scare a little child. "You feel how you want about me, I'll feel how I want about you...but I won't let my brothers hate you, and I won't let you break their hearts by leaving without saying goodbye."

His eyes were pleading with me, he looks like a puppy begging to be pet, to be shown, love. I wanted to tell him 'no' in all honesty, I wanted to tell him to leave—those were my true feelings and it scared me. I didn't want to hate Raph but that's how I felt. "Let me tell my mom." But he was right, I have to grow the fuck up and stop doing this to the guys. I still feel like Raph deserves everything he's getting for dumping me, he's right when he calls me a bitch for treating everyone like they broke my heart.

I left him there with his hand out and went out of his room, stomping my way down to my mother's room where she was crying in Barry's arms. "I'll be back," I said.

My mother looked up and glared at me, "Where do you think you're going?" She pulled away from Barry. "I am not letting you out of my sight. Ian will kill me before I kill you."

I rolled my eyes, "I'll be fine."

Barry shook his head, "You're not leaving this house, Lillian." Before I could answer him he raised his hand to stop me. "I don't want to hear it. You're not going anywhere without your mother and me and I'm not leaving Tony here."

"I'll be fine guys. Trust me."

"Well, where are you going?" My mother asked again, her cheeks still wet with tears.

"I'm going to say goodbye to everyone before I leave."

"You're..." my mother straightened herself out. "I thought you didn't want to see anyone because of-"

"Let me take you where ever you got to go." Barry insisted.

"I'll be fine, Barry."

"Lillian, you were just shot. I'm not letting you leave this place without protection."

I sighed, it looks like they're not going to let me leave.

"She'll have me." I heard Raph say from behind me. Both my mother and Barry stared up at him in shock that he was even here.

"Raph?" My mother gasped with a tiny smile. "Oh..." she then pushed past me and went up to him. I turned around, he was just a couple steps down but my mother went up to him to hug him. Oh, come on! She's only doing this to annoy me. "Are you guys back together?"

Raph gave her back a small tap before he quickly locked eyes with me then cleared his throat, "I'm just here to take Lillian to say goodbye to everyone else."

My mother frowned, "Oh..." she grabbed him hand and smiled sadly. "I'm glad I knew you." She said softly before giving him another hug.

I groaned, "Let's fucking go before my mother decides to marry you next." I growled before stomping up the steps, pushing them away from each other so I can get through.

Raph said goodbye to my mother and Barry and after that, we left.

~Raph's POV~

I didn't know a person could lose so much weight in such a small amount of time. It broke my heart to see Lillian like she was. She seemed smaller, darker...April was right when she said Lilly was colder. I almost thought she was going to hit me until I left her place, but I wasn't leaving without her. Whether I throw her over my shoulder or she came with me willingly, she was coming with me, period.

Seeing her killed me; seeing her in that sling killed me; seeing her completely broken and having her cold towards me killed me; having her tell me that she didn't want to be with me...if I wasn't heartbroken before, that broke whatever was left of it.

On our way to the lair, she was silent. When I tried to talk to her she snapped and said, "Don't talk to me." When I tried to put my hand on her shoulder she grabbed my hand and said, "Don't touch me." She wanted nothing to do with me and I understood. So I just walked behind her in silence, making sure she got her distance and her silence like she wanted to. She hated me. I could feel the hate radiating off of her like heat. I became one of those bad ex's. There was no way in hell that we'd even be friends. Her moving away is for the better.

We finally got to the lair, but before we went in she stopped. No one was watching tv. Mikey was in his room and only would come out to eat, Donnie was in his lab distracting himself with some project he came up with and Leo...probably meditating or maybe in the dojo practicing. Lilly looked nervous but at the same time, she looked like she knew exactly what to do. Confident and nervous...

"You okay?" I asked.

She looked at me like she was ready to kill me, "I'm fine."

Before she took a step forward I stood in front of her. I didn't want to stop her but I had to tell her what I felt. She was never the person to ever make me feel like there was something I couldn't tell her. I was always comfortable, always felt safe to say whatever I was feeling. I'm not too sure now. "Lillian, I'm sorry. I know you're going through a lot and I'm probably forcing you to do something you don't want to do but..." I sighed. "This isn't for me. This is for my brothers and you."

"Of course this is for you. I didn't get a say when you left me and I don't get a say in now." She growled at me. "So consider this the last time you ever order me to do something for you."

"Fine," I stated before I moved away. I wanted to say one last thing before she walked away but I decided against it.

Lillian walked into the lair like it was something new to her. She was looking around like she didn't know where she was or like we had changed everything—everything is the same. She didn't ask where to go she just made her way over to Donnie's lab. I followed right behind her, whether she liked it or not I was going to be there to make sure she said bye to everyone. I know for a fact that they're going to overlook it but the fact that I have to force her to be nice to people who have done nothing but treat her like family—it's fucked up.

Lilly hesitated to go in, stopping at the door to take a breath before working up enough courage to raise her hand to knock on the door that wasn't even closed, to begin with. She knocked on the door, but Donnie never looked up to see who it was. Either he was so busy he didn't hear or he did hear and didn't care. So she cleared her throat.

Donnie turned, "What is it... Lillian?"

"Donatello..."

He stood up and went over to her, "You're here!" He laughed with a smile. He looked down at her brace before giving her a gentle hug, minding it. "Shouldn't you be at home resting?"

"Yeah well...I came here to say goodbye because I'm leaving for San Diego soon. So..." Lilly said, uncomfortably.

Donnie backed away, "You came? I thought you..." he shook his head. "I guess none of that matters now that you're here."

Lilly nodded, "Yes well..." there was a small awkward silence before she turned around and walked out of the lab. "Who's next? Leo must be in the dojo."

Donnie looked at me, blinking in confusion. "You brought her here?"

I nodded, "April was right, though." I clenched my fists at my side and sighed. "She's cold and it's all because of me. She didn't want to come but I made her." I followed her into the dojo, finding master splinter holding her in another uncomfortable embrace.

She didn't turn to Leo after the hug she just gave him a nod. "Yeah, I am. I'm leaving in a couple of days so I just came to say goodbye." She gave them an awkward smile before turning on her heel again. "Where's Mikey?"

Leo and Splinter both stared at me in shock at her quickness. I sighed, "He's in his room." When I said that she walked out of the dojo and headed that way.

Leo raised an eye ridge in confusion, "So she came..."

"After I forced her too," I stated.

"She's cold. She's distant. You can see it in her eyes. They used to be golden now they're black." Donnie commented.

Leo shrugged, "She's going through a lot, guys. I mean Raph broke up with her, she was shot, now she's moving... It's a lot to take in."

Instead of answering, I growled in annoyance before leaving the dojo to go after her. She was standing at Mikey's bedroom door, her face fixated on the door like she was waiting for him to open, only her eyes looked...frightened. I went behind her, "What did he say?"

"I-" Lilly began, shaking her head. "I haven't knocked. I can't knock..." she turned on her heel and began to walk away from the door. "This was a mistake."

I grabbed her good arm before she could get too far and stopped her. When she cried out in pain, I immediately let go, "You're not leaving."

"This was a bad idea Raph."

"What's worse? Having him yell at you or hate you?"

"I don't want either!"

"Well if you run away you're going to get the one you don't want," I said softly so she wouldn't think I was yelling at her. I'm trying to convince her, not push her out the door.

Lilly took a deep breath before finally walking to the door like she did before. She stared at it for a few seconds before taking her another deep breath. I rolled my eyes, she brought this on herself. After yet another deep breath, I grunted in irritation, "Today?"

She glared at me, "Shut up." I growled at her before knocking on Mikey's door. She smacked my hand with her good arm, "I'm going to fucking kill you."

"Fine. Do it after you talk to him."

"What?" Mikey called from inside. Lillian jumped before her eyes froze on the door once more.

"Mike, will you come out of there?" I asked through the door knowing he was either going to tell me to go away or make me go in.

"Go away, Raph. You're the last person I want to see or even talk to." He whined.

Lilly opened her mouth to answer him but nothing came out of it. I watched and waited before deciding she wasn't going to speak. "Mike, open the door."

"Go away!" He yelled.

Lilly flinched, letting her head fall in shame.

I couldn't help but feel bad for her, she was already so sad but this...if Mikey didn't want anything to do with her I have a feeling it would destroy her—now more than before. I sighed, she was still the love of my life and I was going to defend her no matter what she did. And of course, I'm mad at her for taking her anger out on my brothers but...I can't help but feel bad.

I grabbed the doorknob and turned it, when it looked I began banging on the door, "Michael! Open this damn door." I yelled.

Soon after that, Mikey unlocked and swung the door open. His face which originally looked like he was going to punch me as soon as he opened the door, immediately turned to shock when he saw Lillian. "Lil'?"

Lilly looked up and almost immediately her lip began to tremble, "Hi Mikey..." her voice broke.

"You're here? You're..." he went to grab her hands before stopping himself. "April said you didn't want to see us." Lillian slowly nodded. "You said you didn't want to say goodbye. Why?" He asked breathlessly, you could hear the heartbreak in his voice.

Lilly bit her lip, tears falling from her eyes. "Mikey I..."

"Why would you say that?" Mikey shook his head. "I never did anything but treat you like family."

Lillian let her head fall once again. I was surprised Mikey was calling her out on her bullshit.

"Mikey," I interjected. "It's because of me."

Mikey shook his head, "Then what did I do?"

Lillian touched her fingers to her lips when her voice trembled so much she could barely talk. "Mike..." she breathed.

I straightened a bit at how her breaths were now short. Moving a bit behind her, I decided to ready myself if she were to faint.

"You told April and Casey that if you leave hurt us then so be it. How could you hurt me like that?" Mikey shook his head and clenched his fists, shaking with anger. I readied myself, knowing he wouldn't do anything to Lillian psychically but waiting for anything. The more he talked the more he reminded me or me. That not good at all. "You were my sister."

"I-" Lilly shook her head, "I t-thought it w-would be for the b-better." Lilly stuttered. She was scared.

"Better? For who? You?" Mikey looked at her sling. "I went to go see you in the hospital and you told April to send us away. I went to see if you were okay and you wouldn't-"

"I c-couldn't...I'm sorry." She sobbed. I was about to cut this off, she was getting too hysterical. She couldn't speak right now, she couldn't breathe right. The way her chest would hitch when she'd try to suck in air to talk was making me angry. I was getting angry at Mikey for causing this. The only thing that was stopping me was that this is something she brought on herself. But if it gets to the point where she can't take it, that's when I'll jump in.

"Why couldn't you? I didn't break up with you. This idiot did!" Mikey said, pointing at me.

I growled in annoyance.

Lilly grabbed her shirt, "P-Please understand, M-Mikey..."

"Understand what? You're not saying anything!"

I finally snapped, "Maybe if you would let her talk she'd be able to say why."

"You shouldn't even be here! You caused this." Mikey growled.

I was about to lunge at him, but all I could do was take a step forward before Lillian reached out and grabbed my hand. It stopped me dead in my tracks, in fact, it almost gave me a heart attack. I looked at her as she shut her eyes and tried to fix her breathing. My eyes were wide that she was even touching me without being violent or mean. She slowly breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. When my hand squeezed hers, she finally opened her eyes, her breathing seemingly back to normal.

"You and your brothers, April and Casey... you all remind me of Raphael." She said. "Raphael broke my heart." She turned her head to face me, those golden eyes filled with so much emotion that I couldn't look away in shame. I helplessly looked. "When he broke up with me, I wanted to stop thinking about him. If that meant to stop talking to everyone, then I was going to do that. I wanted to get over him quickly." I loosened my grip on her hand, but she never did. "But I think..." she looked back at Mikey. "I don't think that's possible."

Mikey shook his head, "Him breaking up with you doesn't mean you should treat me like I left you."

Lilly nodded, "You're right." Lillian let go of my hand and wiped her tears away from her face. "I'm so sorry, Mikey."

After a while of being stubborn, Mikey smiled softly. "Come here," he said before gently gathering her in his arms. Lilly wrapped her good arm around him, burying her face in the name of his neck. Small sobs escaped from her mouth which was followed by Mikey shushing her.

Sighing in relief and feeling comfortable enough to leave them alone, I walked away from them, smiling softly to myself.

~Lilly's POV~

"So when are you leaving?" Raph asked as we arrived back at my place.

I stepped back into my room, feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't so mad anymore—I'm still fucking pissed at Raph though. But I wasn't angry at the world, seeing Mikey and feeling him hug me...that made me feel better. "I don't know..." I was still hesitant to be his friend or to even act like his friend. It hurt to just have him near me.

Raph frowned, staring at me like he knew. "Lil..."

I sighed, "A couple of days..."

"That's not vague," Raph said, staying outside of my room.

I rolled my eyes, "Two days."

His eyes widened in shock before he looked at me with sadness. "Oh..." he said, I don't think he was expecting that answer. He rubbed the back of his head nervously, "Did you want the guys to come by that day?"

I shook my head, "I said goodbye. I'm okay."

"Really?"

"Yes,"

Raph looked even sadder but...it was better this way. I felt that at least. I didn't want to cry anymore, I didn't want to feel sad. I just wanted to go and the longer I'm here the worse I am.

"It's for the better," I said. "I hate to say it but I think we both were crazy if we ever thought we were going to be friends again."

Raph nodded, "There's no way…"

This silence between us was dangerous. I was still super pissed at him, but after today, if he were to apologize, I'd still forgive him…

"Lilly..." Raph sighed like he was so tired. "I..."

When he couldn't finish, I just nodded my head. "I know... I know." I let out a shaky breath before looking away. Why did everything have to be so hard all of a sudden? I was so angry at him and it was so easy to tell him exactly what I wanted to tell him. Now...it's different. I can't even look at him without crying. "Fuck...why'd we have to end like this?"

He shook his head, "Because I'm a fucking idiot."

I chuckled, wiping my tears even though they were endless. "Yeah..." I placed a hand on my shoulder before I rolled it slowly. I lifted my arm to the side, stretching out the stiff, sore muscles.

Raph looked at me like I was crazy, "What are you doing?"

"I want to stretch out my arm. It's the only way I'll be able to..." I stopped myself, afraid of sounding stupid. After a while, I gave up on the stretching, just shaking my head. No matter how many pills I take I'm still going to be sore for a while.

Raph stared at me like I was saying something crazy, "To what?"

I looked at him and smiled. I'm going to miss the way his eyes looked at me like I was the most amazing thing he's ever seen. "Hug you goodbye."

Raph's stare went from shocked to sad, "Oh ba..." he stopped, clearing his throat. "Lil," he corrected. "Don't do anything you don't want to do. I'm... I get it."

I shook my head, "No you don't." I reached up with my good arm and cupped his cheek. "I meant it when I said I hated you." I watched as his eyes stared at me helplessly. "At least I think I did..." I sighed, "I'm still really fucking pissed that you broke my heart."

Raph let his head fall in shame, I let it stay that way. He should feel shame. He hurt me. But...

"But you're right," I said, the words tasted sour as they left my mouth. Raph looked up, confused. "Yeah, I know. But I get it now...well, not fully but maybe someday I will."

Raph broke up with me and I thought it was going to be the thing that ended me. I felt myself going down this dark path but...I'm leaving. I'll be able to start over and rebuild myself once again. "I hope we run into each other again. And who knows? Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't... I guess we'll see."

Raph shut his eyes like he always did when he was starting to cry. His way of holding them back. "I'm sorry I'm putting you through this."

"I know you are," I said with a nod. "I can't believe I have to go on without you guys in my life."

Raph finally opened his eyes, staring sadly into mine before he gathered me into his arms and held me close to him, squeezing the life out of me. I wrapped my good arm around his neck while the other just sort of patted his side. Burying my face in his neck, I took in the feel of his skin against mine for the last time. It felt like the last time. What a lousy one-armed hug this was? It didn't feel real.

"Thank you," Raph whispered, before kissing my cheek. He pulled away a bit from the hug, his arms still around my waist. "You did so much for me."

"You did so much for me..." I sighed. "I still hate you for leaving me."

"I hate myself too."

I shook my head, "I guess, either way, it would have happened. Do you regret it?"

"I-"

"Don't answer that." I chuckled. "I shouldn't have asked anyway." There was a small silence between us. I didn't have anything else to say, I didn't have any more words except two. I was dreading them. I didn't want to say them. They taste sour. No matter how much I pushed them down, the words we're going to come out one way or another. Please let me stay here with him in this moment. It may be the last and then what? What do I have? Nothing.

I felt my breathing stop before I pulled him in for one last hug, tears falling from my eyes. "Goodbye, Raphael," I said breathlessly.

Raph finally reluctantly let me go after a while, "Goodbye, Lillian."

Alright, I'll try to work on an Epilogue, but we'll see.

Thanks once again. I appreciate every single one of those who read and those who reviewed. Especially those who would PM me with suggestions and whenever it seemed like I wasn't 100% okay. Love you guys.