DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ascendance of a Bookworm, and I make no profit by writing this. I'm simply having fun.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: After the last posted episode of the anime, I got an idea that won't leave me alone, so I'm writing it out. I hope you enjoy my efforts.

THE MODEST PROPOSAL OF A BOOKWORM

Gray-robed priests and priestesses tended to their work as quietly and discretely as they could. None wanted to draw attention to themselves at the moment. The Temple's high priest was in a foul mood, and not surprisingly, it was the newest blue-robed priestess that was the cause. His retainers watched nervously as the old man grumbled and stewed over the latest reports of young Myne's antics. He seemed to calm himself with an effort, though, as he finished his preparations for the evening. His white robes were immaculate, as they should be, beard and hair were neatly combed. It was important to project the right image, no matter who you were seeing. He needed, for this evening, to convey a very specific message.

"That girl. She has the nerve to question my policies regarding the orphanage?" One of his retainers had reported the conversation she had had with that young fool of a head priest less than an hour after it had happened. It had taken him the better part of an hour to calm himself and begin to plan an appropriate response to this latest outrage. The very next day, a new outrage occurred, this time perpetrated by the head priest, and the man had had the audacity to try to hide it from him.

As he finished his preparations for dinner, a finely cooked steak and steamed vegetables, the high priest took a moment to reflect on that situation. He really wished that there was someone else who could fill the role of head priest. Unfortunately, his nominative second-in-command was a brilliant administrator who kept the temple's day-to-day affairs running smoothly so the high priest didn't have to trouble himself, and could concentrate on spiritual matters. There was no one else who could have done it half as well, and he was certainly devout.

On the surface, no fault could be found with the young blue-haired man, but he had some very strange ideas. While careful to keep them out of sight, the high priest knew that the young man was far too soft on the gray-robes. That type didn't need privileges or more food or clean water or whatever the complaint of the week might be. They needed to work harder. That, and to be grateful for the temple's compassion.

In direct defiance of the spirit, if not the letter, of his policies, the head priest had put the girl in charge of the orphanage and told her she could do what she liked with it. This was unacceptable. It was time to put his foot down with his presumptuous underling.

Once his dinner preparations were complete, he sent one of his retainers to fetch the head priest and the devil girl. He took the time before their arrival to compose himself. It would not do for him to show his temper before those subordinate to him. It was undignified. He discounted his gray-robed attendants that had seen him in more fits of temper than they could count. They didn't matter.

OOOOOOOOOO

Myne scowled at her reflection in the mirror as her retainers fussed over her, making sure her appearance was immaculate. She knew she shouldn't be upset; she'd known this was a possibility and done what she could to prepare, but she couldn't help it. The high priest wanted to see her and the head priest in half an hour. Coming so quickly on the heels of the head priest's decision to make her the orphanage director? It could only mean that the old fart intended to reverse the decision.

"Don't scowl so, Myne-sama," Fran admonished. "It is undignified and you need to make the best impression you can on the high priest."

"We both know it won't make a difference." Myne sighed. "I have my arguments ready. They're logical and well-reasoned, but they all depend on him thinking of the orphans as people, fellow human beings, and we both know he doesn't do that."

Fran kept his expression carefully neutral. "It is important to you, yes?"

"Of course, it is." She was surprised he'd ask and started to turn. Delia lightly tugged the hair she was arranging and told her to hold still. "Lives are at stake."

"Then, you will find the words. I believe you can, and I need you to believe it, as well."

Myne repressed another sigh and agreed. "I need to make him see reason." She thought hard for a moment and began to speak slowly as she worked out an approach. "It needs to be put in terms of economic benefit for the temple. I need to show him that there's a use for them." Even that might not help, since she was the one presenting the arguments. The old man hated her, and while he had reason, he had brought that on himself.

Not that pointing that out would help her case.

"The orphans are assets that need a certain amount of upkeep. Like livestock." In the mirror, she saw Delia and Fran grimace. "I know. I don't like it either, I'm trying to think like the old fart, and I'm making myself sick."

The jaws of all three of her retainers dropped.

"Delia, if you tell him I said that, he'll probably cut off food to the orphans entirely. Just out of spite."

"I won't say a word." She hastily promised.

She watched her retainers' reactions in the mirror. Fran looked disapproving, but apparently propriety kept him from reproaching his master. Delia looked conflicted. Gill looked like he was doing his best not to laugh out loud.

"Okay, then. The orphans are assets that need some upkeep. This costs the temple some resources. Right now, the youngest aren't an asset, just a drain on the temple. I need to show him that I can make them worth the food they're given. He probably sees as that as a waste at the moment." She thought hard.

"The gods might not need money, but the temple does. I can prove that the temple will make money off the orphans, that's easy enough. For most people, that would be enough."

"You worry that it will not be for the high priest?" Delia asked. "What exactly happened between you? No one talks about it."

"Delia." Fran started to caution her.

"Its fine, Fran. I don't mind you three knowing, but remember that the high priest wouldn't want it spread around." She gave them a brief recap of what had happened at that meeting. Again, all three were left gaping at her.

"You tried to kill the high priest?!" Delia asked in alarm, probably seeing her dreams of becoming the old man's personal bedwarmer go out the window.

"I didn't mean to." Myne rolled her eyes. "He just made me so angry that I lost control of my mana. He's got no one to blame but himself. I didn't know it would happen."

"How could you not know?" Gill asked.

"Because it had never happened before," Myne huffed, growing exasperated. "That, and people keep assuming I know stuff I couldn't possibly know!" Both Fran and Gill winced at that. Both had fallen victim to that fallacy and suffered for it, to one degree or another. Any further discussion was forestalled by a knock on the door.

Fran answered and discovered the head priest and two of his attendants. The blue-haired man nodded a greeting to them. "It's time to go."

OOOOOOOOOO

They made their way, at the best pace Myne could manage, to the high priest's chambers. His rank allowed him considerably more than a small room with a bed, table, and chair. He had a kitchen where retainers prepared his food, a well-appointed bedroom, an office where he could work in private, and a sitting room where he would take his meals and greet guests. There were also small bedrooms for his attendants, so they could stay close to him. It was practically palatial compared to the living conditions of the unattached gray-robed priests.

"Are you ready for this?" The head priest asked quietly.

"I've prepared my best arguments. If he listens at all, I believe I can convince him." Privately, she thought that was a big 'if.'

Knocking politely, the head priest nodded and gave her an encouraging smile. When the door opened and one of the high priest's attendants admitted them, Myne carefully schooled her expression, not wanting to give away any doubts or uncharitable thoughts she might have about the old man. She and the high priest stood side by side before the old man while their retainers hung back and tried to be invisible.

The high priest was just starting his dinner when they arrived. Even Myne knew this was a calculated insult. The old man's way of saying they were unimportant and the interruption of what actually mattered to him would only take a moment. It was clear he had called them there to inform them of his decision, not to listen to reasons to let her keep the post.

He nodded to them as they came to stand before him and took a bite of his vegetables. He took his time, giving every evidence of enjoyment. After swallowing, he looked at them directly and focused on the head priest.

"You have made the girl the new orphanage director without consulting me. She is too young for such a role regardless of what you think of her intellect. I see no good reason to let this stand, but I'm willing to give you a chance to convince me."

That surprised Myne, but after a moment, she realized his intentions. He wants to give me a bit of hope just so he can crush it. His tone might have been mild, but she could see the glint of anticipation in his eyes. Still, he was giving her the opportunity to speak, and she'd take it. At a nod from the head priest, she stepped forward and presented her argument. Although she wished she had more time to prepare, she didn't think she was doing too badly. She kept it brief, explaining how even the youngest could be used to provide resources for the temple which would more than pay for their food and upkeep. At one point, the old man looked vaguely interested and even nodded a bit before catching himself.

When she was done, the old man nodded thoughtfully. "It isn't a bad idea, but you are still too young and foolish to implement it yourself. Perhaps in a few years, the idea can be revisited, but it will be carried out by a proper priest, not a bit of commoner trash who took advantage of the head priest's strange ideas and soft-hearted nature." The head priest stiffened, but said nothing. "The gods do not require the temple or its servants to be wealthy, so that is not a concern."

Myne glanced around the well-appointed room with its fine furnishings and decorations. She bit her tongue to keep from commenting. The old man caught her wandering eye and her expression and frowned. Myne felt her temper rising and tamped did her best to tamp it down. This old man was too set in his ways to consider her ideas and he had a mean streak besides.

Again, her temper flared, but she shoved it down and hastened to speak before he could simply throw them out. She didn't have any additional arguments prepared, though, so her words surprised even her.

"If making money isn't a goal, perhaps I can help you save the temple money and resources without changing a thing." Where am I going with this? Then, it hit her. Something she'd read years ago in her last life. This is a really bad idea, it didn't work for him and probably won't for me, but things can't get much worse.

Her words caught the old man by surprise, and the head priest glanced at her curiously. Before either could object, she pushed on.

"Please, entertain my modest proposal. It won't take a moment."

The old man, curious despite himself, nodded as he began to cut a piece from his steak. "Go on."

"The younger orphans need food, but can't work for it. Their upkeep takes resources from the temple. Why not let one problem solve the other?" The old man looked curious as he put the bite in his mouth. "Just leave the bodies of those that have already starved to death in place, and allow those to serve as alms of the gods."

Jaws dropped all around the room and the old man surged to his feet prepared to shout at her. All that came out was a slight wheeze. He grabbed his throat as his eyes widened in panic.

Realizing what was happening, one of his female attendants rushed forward. She began to pound him on the back while begging forgiveness for striking him.

"That won't work." Myne told her. "Stand behind him and put your arms around him." The woman glanced at her in confusion and growing panic. "Do it! Put your joined hands just below his ribs. Like this." She demonstrated on herself. "Pull in and up, sharp." The woman got the idea, but she had to wrestle the panicking old man into compliance. Two sharp jerks later, a bit of steak flew out of the high priest's mouth and bounced off of Gill's forehead, much to the boy's disgust.

The attendant helped the high priest back into his chair where he sat wheezing for a moment. The head priest started to speak, but his superior raised a hand to forestall him. When he had regained some of his breath and composure, he glared at Myne.

"Fine. You're the new orphanage director. Do as you see fit. In fact." He shoved his plate across the table at her. "Give them this." His voice rose to an angry shout. "I've lost my appetite thanks to you! Now, OUT!"

Myne took the plate and began a strategic and hasty retreat. The high priest glared at the younger blue-robed priest. "Keep her AWAY from me!"