Song #9: "When I Look At You" by Miley Cyrus

'Yeah when my world is falling apart

When there's no light

To break up the dark

That's when I, I

I look at you'

Things felt like they all happened in a blur. Ryan gets into an argument with Eric and Calleigh during a forced meeting between all three orchestrated by their boss in attempt to resolve the issues from earlier. Moments like those is where Ryan didn't take personal relationships into account. The fact he and Eric were kinda together didn't make a difference. Calleigh and Eric had absent mindedly went to prove him wrong.. again. Went from all three to EC vs Wolfe. As if nothing had changed once.

Wasn't the first time. Ryan was sick of it. So he left, leaving the $50 bill on the counter and not stopping when they tried to convince him to stay.

Things hadn't been the same after Ryan came back from his holiday. It was as if he'd come back more.. agitated. Unforgiving and lost. Like things had fallen around him and the only thing he knew how to do was pretend like he did after the nail incident. Eric had noticed several differences. He made more doctor's appointments, started kissing him more and not saying as much.

But it scared him when he realized what had caused such an impulsive change of the way he lived his life.

It was his eye.

After being kidnapped by the Russians, Ryan had been told that there was impact done to his eye. Which meant it may get worse once again. He pretended like everything was okay for the last year and a half, taking every day with a pinch of salt knowing that one day he may not see things the way they were anymore.

Ryan kept his personal gun in the glove box of his car.

He'd given Eric an envelope a couple of days ago and told him to open it when he said to. The Cuban-Russian hadn't thought much of the envelope.. not until he realized what the possibility of it being a goodbye could be. Everything he thought he knew became shattered like glass. If his boyfriend was going through something and hadn't told him, it might be the last time he would ever see him alive.

Wolfe couldn't stand the idea of going blind. He once said he'd rather have died that day than have ended up blind. Suppose sometimes you get what you wish for, sarcastic or not. Someone as sardonically spoken as him would've figured. Karma didn't happen to everyone but you.

And Cal believed in karma, which meant it had to have been serious for someone like her that wasn't even superstitious.

Eric tried calling Ryan but didn't get an answer.

Ryan continued to drive, ignoring the fact his eye was twitching. He heard his phone ring but ignored it. A one track mind is all he had in that moment. The intrusive thoughts he'd once had at 19 were flooding through his mind. All the therapy, meetings with invading shrinks and times he'd been forced to be honest all rendered useless.

Not even Walter or Natalia could call enough for him to answer. It were as if he completely shut down in a matter of seconds. This wasn't like him. He shouldn't be going through this mental strain when he was fine. His OCD was under control. With a job, income, a partner and a team that respected him - it was hard to figure out what hurt him. Decoding the many faces of Ryan Wolfe wasn't easy. He aced cover-ups of his emotional breakdowns.

'CRASH!'

An oncoming vehicle crashes into Ryan's car head on. The car is fine, the other driver scurried in his vehicle as patrol cars zoomed around the corner after it.

Wolfe, concussed, grabbed his gun from his glove box and stumbled out. He opened up the trunk to get his drawing pad. The CSI clambered down the jagged rocks carrying his things and sat himself on the lowest rock down. Blood from the gash on his forehead drips onto his fresh piece of paper. Because of his OCD becoming more erratic by the second, he ripped it out and folded it into a paper swan. Ryan chucked it onto the roadside and began his final piece of artwork.

His phone in his pocket on mute. Ryan still hadn't regained full consciousness of his surroundings. This was where a couple had been 'hijacked' after leaving a hotel, a few years back. He remembered the case. It was when his short infatuation for Calleigh had been conflicted by the fact the case drew them at different ends with opinions on the case.

He sat there for hours, using his water-based paints to color an emotional drawing that would only truly make sense to him.

Eric and Calleigh spent that time driving around looking for him. They had to make amends. The argument had clearly pushed him to the edge of his sanity. He'd not looked sadder. And that said a lot considering the poker face he sported 24/7.

"What did you say to him last time you spoke.. normally?" Calleigh asked, breaking the tense silence between her and Eric.

"He said that his eye was playing up. But the optometrist said that they couldn't determine why the sudden infection, he told me he was taking medication for it - though he didn't like how drowsy taking so much medicine a day made him."

Eric sighed, realizing how tell-tale of his mood it was. He should've known better. "We'll have a better chance of finding him now he has blonde hair."

Calleigh gave a short laugh. "Sandy blonde suits him."

They followed a route that they believed most fit Ryan's type of long drive. But as they passed the hotel, a woman ran up to them holding a piece of paper.

Calleigh stopped the car and rolled her window down. The woman handed her the orgami, saying that there was a blood stain on it. Fresh, from what she could tell. The blonde thanked her and told the woman she would look into it. Eric recalled a time where he and Ryan flooded Tara's office with paper swans after the 'cheating death' prank hadn't exactly gone down well. He folded all of them in less than twenty minutes. His guy truly was a paper artist to him.

They followed the road around the corner. "Only Ryan would make a paper swan out of a piece of paper to dispose of it."

"'I'm not an artist, Cal - I just happen to like artistic crafts.'" Calleigh reiterated, smiling at the better memory.

Eric couldn't help but smile too.

Then he pointed a blonde-haired man sitting on the rocks, causing both him and Calleigh to jump out of the car. They saw a faint blood trail and transferred paint on his car. Ryan had been in an accident.

"Ryan! Babe! Are you okay?" Calleigh said worriedly, carefully making her way down onto the same rock he was sat on.

Ryan looked up as soon as he heard the southerner's soothing southern drawl. "Cal?"

His voice was hoarse, full of emotion. She seated herself beside him and wiped the blood with a tissue from a new packet in her pocket. "You had me and Eric worried."

"I just- everything is falling apart, Cals."

Calleigh knew that he needed her when he called her that. Eric, after inspecting the car, joined them on the rock. Ryan had Calleigh on one side of him and Eric on the other. Being concussed, it confused him quite a bit. But his emotions got the better of him anyway.

He picked up his drawing pad and stared at his painting. Eric put his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder while Calleigh held his hand tightly.

"I should have been there.. but I promise I will from now on." Eric said comfortingly, pressing a light kiss to his lips.

Ryan squeezed Calleigh's hand. "Will you stay with me for a while?"

"Sure." They both said, intrigued by the artwork that was on his lap.

Three different colored silhouettes walking closely together in a dark hallway. The yellow one represented Calleigh, red represented Eric and the blue one was him. Stood at a forefront closer than the back two. He felt alone. It represented the loneliness he'd always felt.

Though he was losing his vision, Ryan knew he had his boyfriend and best friend to keep him grounded through it all. Until it would be over.

"No song?" Eric whispered.

"When I Look at You." Ryan replied, leaning his head on Calleigh's shoulder.

Calleigh chuckled. "So this is what you two talk about? Music?"

The couple just smiled at one another.