Chapter 26

"Do you want to watch a movie, maybe?" Harvey suddenly asked and pushed his plate away from him. Mike jerked in surprise. He had been lost in thought, but he slowly nodded when he took in what Harvey had said. A movie might be a nice distraction. They sat down on the couch next to each other, and Harvey threw a blanket at him.

Harvey picked the movie, after asking Mike twice if he had seen it. Mike just shrugged. He didn't know. He couldn't remember it. It turned out that he had a hard time focusing on the movie and eventually his eyes slipped close as he fell asleep instead.

Harvey let Mike sleep. He noticed that Mike's head had fallen to the side just twenty minutes into the movie, but he hadn't said anything. Mike clearly needed sleep. The younger man had barely said two sentences the whole day, it wasn't like him at all. But Harvey let him be. Mike needed time, maybe they both did.

Harvey felt that he needed to be careful. He had seen the way Mike looked at him, he appeared to be fearful of him and that wasn't something he ever wanted. He couldn't have Mike fear him. One thing was if he was afraid of the dark, or of his kidnappers coming after him again that was understandable, but Harvey couldn't live with it if Mike was afraid of him. He needed to do everything he could to prevent that.

Mike jerked awake when the end credits started rolling. He looked widely around him and swallowed hard a couple of times. Harvey decided to not say anything about it, Mike didn't either.

He had had a nightmare again. It just sucked so much, even in sleep when he was supposed to get a break, he dreamt about it. It made him not want to sleep, but at the same time it wasn't that much better now when he was awake. He felt so bad. It was possible that his fever had risen again, he felt too warm and a bit dizzy. He had thought that he was getting better. He wanted to lay down, but Harvey was sitting next to him and he couldn't ask him to move.

"You want to talk?" Harvey suddenly said, next to him.

Mike looked over at him for a moment before shaking his head.

Harvey wasn't surprised that Mike declined, but it had been worth a try, he figured. He could tell that Mike was haunted by this; it was eating at his mind. He looked sick as well, worse than before. Harvey wanted to help him but wasn't sure on how he should proceed. He didn't know what it was that Mike needed. He decided to just ask him.

"Mike, is it anything that I can do for you?" He asked.

Mike turned his head towards him. He looked surprised.

"I…I'd like to…ehm…" Mike didn't know if he could say it. He was afraid of what would happen, what if it got worse. His thoughts felt slow.

"Like what?" Harvey asked.

Mike swallowed. "Lay down. I think I need to lay down somewhere."

"Oh shit. Of course." Harvey flew up from the couch. "You should have said something earlier. You do look pretty bad, kid."

Mike remained where he was. Where was Harvey going to go now?

"Do you need some help?" Harvey stepped closer to him, but Mike leaned away from him when he reached out a hand, so Harvey pulled it back.

"You want something to drink? Some pain killers maybe?" Harvey kept asking things. Mike wasn't sure that he answered, but Harvey walked away and came back a while later with a glass of water for him. That was nice.

It was also nice to be laying down, but things just felt so wrong. Something was not right with him and he didn't know if it just was the fever or something else too. It felt like the couch was moving below him, like it was tilting downwards. What if he slid off it?

He wanted to drink the water but wasn't sure he would be able to do it without spilling it. So, he didn't even try. He didn't know why he was so worried about things. Harvey was there and he could rest, he could lay down now. Why was he scared?

"Mike, take the pills." Harvey said and mentioned for the table where he had placed the two painkillers. Mike didn't do anything at all. He just laid there on the couch, blinking slowly. His fever must have risen quite a lot. Damn.

"Mike? I put two painkillers on the table there." He tried again. "Why don't you take them? You might feel better."

Mike still did nothing, and Harvey felt a little frustrated. Clearly, he wasn't getting through to the kid, and he didn't think it was a good idea to force Mike. Not a good idea at all. He did try again though and after a little bit of convincing involving saying the kids name about twenty times, he managed to get enough of Mike's attention to get him to take the pills.

Mike really hoped the medication Harvey had given him would help. Maybe it would help him to think a bit clearer. Or make him fall asleep faster, maybe that was the better alternative. Sleep without dreams was what he wanted.

Harvey was sitting close to him, he knew that. That was good. He didn't want to be here alone. Bad things happened when he was alone. Someone could take him again. He didn't want that.

"Mike. You with me?" Harvey was saying. Mike didn't know what he meant. Yes, he was here, couldn't Harvey see that? He hummed something and Harvey seemed satisfied with that. Mike closed his eyes. He was going to try and sleep now.

Harvey decided to give up the try to get Mike to respond to him, or at least to make him say words. Mike just grunted as an answer the last time Harvey asked him something.

He looked at the time and decided to try and get some work done. He was behind on work quite a lot since Mike had disappeared the second time, in fact, he wasn't entirely up to speed since the first time. He went over to his office, after making sure Mike was sleeping and opened his laptop and got to work. Some time passed, Harvey went to check on Mike who was still sleeping, on his back with his mouth open. He grabbed something to eat and considered heading to bed. He was undecided whether he should wake Mike up or not, but it looked like the kid was sleeping peacefully so Harvey decided to let him be. Hopefully, he would stay that way, Harvey himself was pretty tired and wouldn't mind getting some sleep himself. The last few days had been stressful.

Harvey's wish didn't come true, instead he woke up from Mike's screams.

Harvey groggily sat up in bed, had it been a dream? He listened, and then he heard it again. Mike was screaming. Harvey hurried up out of bed and ran towards the living room. Mike screamed again, it sounded awful, like someone was hurting him, stabbing him.

Harvey found him on the couch, squirming around, panting. At once Harvey saw that Mike was far away and not at all aware of his surroundings. It looked like he was falling off the couch and Harvey dived forward to stop him from doing just that. It turned out that it wasn't a good idea.

Mike screamed again, straight out, and he did his best on throwing himself to the side, away from Harvey.

"Shit." Harvey swore to himself. "Mike, Mike, it's me. It's okay." Harvey tried again to get Mike to calm down and stopping him from falling off the couch.

"No, no! Don't!" Mike screamed and to Harvey's surprise Mike's arms flailed towards him, and he realized that Mike was trying to hit him.

"Hey Mike, stop. It's me, Harvey. Calm down." He grabbed on to Mike's arm to avoid getting hit, but it seemed to agitate Mike more. He ripped his arm out of Harvey's grip and pushed himself against the back of the couch up to sitting. He was panting and his eyes were wide opened, flickering around like he couldn't focus his gaze on something. He was scared. It hurt in Harvey that at this moment, he was the threat in Mike's world. He couldn't have that, he needed to get through to the kid.

"Mike, you need to calm down. Everything is okay here. No one is going to hurt you."

Mike mumbled something and shook his head. Harvey wasn't sure if he was aware of much of anything. He reached out and put a hand on Mike's shoulder, it was damp from sweat. Mike yelled again, this time he looked straight at Harvey.

"No! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!"

"Okay, okay, okay. I won't touch you, I won't." Harvey jerked back his hand. Damn it.

Mike was breathing hard. He moved a little bit further away again. Harvey watched how his eyes started to tear up. Mike bit his lip. He seemed to be a little more aware.

"I don't want you to touch me." He whispered. "I want to lay down."

"Okay." Harvey said gently. "Let's get you to lay down then."

Mike slumped down on the couch. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it tighter around him and then looked at Harvey with a tense expression on his face.

"I'm not going to touch you. You can relax." Harvey tried to calm him.

Mike nodded a little and Harvey noticed that his face had taken on a reddish color.

"It's okay." Harvey hoped that the smile on his face looked genuine. "Deep breaths."

Mike nodded again and closed his eyes for moment, and he did what Harvey asked.

"Did you dream about it?" Harvey asked quietly after a minute of silence between them.

Mike looked at him and bit his lip, he tensed visibly. His eyes flooded over as Harvey watched him.

"Yeah, I did. I was back there." Mike whispered.

"It must have been terrible."

"I was so fucking scared then. And when I dream about it, it's the exact same feeling. Almost worse."

"Shit, kid."

Mike blinked away tears.

"How am I going to get over it? I don't want to feel like this anymore."

Mike looked straight at him and for a moment Harvey didn't know what to say. What could he answer to that question?

"You'll feel better with time. And I'm here to help you with it." He said eventually and hoped that the look in Mike's eyes would disappear. It did to some extent but then Mike looked away from him.

"I'm just scared sometimes." He whispered.

"Yeah, I know. It's okay if you are."

"But I don't want to be."

"I know." Harvey repeated in lack of anything else to say. "Do you want me to stay?" He then asked.

"If you want."

"But what do you want Mike?"

It took a while before Mike answered. He felt a lot calmer now compared to when he had woken up. His chest didn't feel as tight and his heartrate had slowed down. The sweat on his back was starting to feel cold as it was drying.

"I don't want to be here alone." He said. He refused to look at Harvey and he hated the way his voice sounded. Harvey was quiet and Mike suddenly got scared again, but this time that Harvey wouldn't want to stay. What would he do then?

"I'll stay here then." Harvey answered next and Mike could relax just a little bit. He just felt so embarrassed about this. He had screamed out loud and freaked out.

He wished for his Grammy for the millionth time. He didn't feel that he could trust that Harvey would stay, that he would help. Because this wasn't how it was supposed to be. Who did this? Behaved like he was doing, screamed that he didn't want to be touched. That wasn't normal. Maybe he should just tell Harvey to go again. At least he could cry in earnest then, and the moment of uncertainty would be gone. Now he was just fighting to keep it together. And he was pretty sure that he was losing. He wiped his eyes hard and tried to pretend that Harvey couldn't see it. Harvey must think he was such a wimp.

"It's going to be okay." Harvey suddenly said and Mike jerked a bit.

"How?" He couldn't stop himself from asking.

"We'll work it out. One day at a time. Here."

Mike looked at him. He didn't understand. Then he saw that Harvey was holding out a hand towards him. What did Harvey want?

"If you want." Harvey added. He looked a bit hesitant. Mike looked at his hand again. Did Harvey mean…?

He slowly reached out his own hand and took a hold of Harvey's. He was prepared to jerk it away again if Harvey started to pull or something. Maybe he wanted Mike to get up. But Harvey just took a firm grip of his hand and then rested both their hands on the side of the couch. Mike stared at him. Then he held on harder. More tears came and he kind of wanted to hold on with his other hand as well, but he didn't dare to move. He was afraid that Harvey change his mind, maybe think it was too weird. He sniffed and wiped his eyes again. He just couldn't relax. He wished he would pass out. He wanted to fall asleep now, before Harvey left. Right now, he was quite sure that he wouldn't be able to take it if Harvey left.

He couldn't shake of the nightmare. Again, and again he returned to it in his mind. He had been tied up, unable to move at all and his kidnappers had all been there, like dark shadows around him. Hard grips pulling at him, hitting him, touching him. All he had wanted in the dream was for them to leave him alone, he had yelled at them to stop, but it hadn't worked.

Now, it felt like the areas of his body where they had hit him still hurt. He knew that it was all in his mind, but the pain didn't go away. He held on harder to Harvey's hand, it was the only thing that could keep him grounded. Harvey was there and the nightmare had only been just that, a nightmare. He hadn't been back on the concrete floor, no one had hit him, he was fine.

Harvey had said that it was going to be okay, and that was what Mike wanted to hear. Harvey said that they would work it out, the both of them. Harvey would help him. That felt good. He should try and sleep some more, he was tired. Maybe things would be better tomorrow. He tried to close his eyes. It didn't feel that good and he squeezed Harvey's hand. He felt Harvey squeeze back.

-SUITS-

Mike was still holding on to his hand. Their hands were sweaty by now, but Mike didn't seem to notice it and Harvey didn't want to be the one that broke the hold. He suspected that Mike would take it hard at the state he was in. He was just laying there on his side, turned towards Harvey, slowly blinking. For a while, the younger man had tried to close his eyes and maybe go back to sleep, but it seemed to agitate him too much, so he had gone back to just laying there looking at nothing.

Harvey thought that he was helping in some ways though. Mike wanted this, otherwise he wouldn't have grabbed Harvey's hand when he offered it up. They both chose to not speak about what they were doing; it was better that way. Harvey briefly thought about what would happen if someone at the firm could see him right now. His whole image would crack. He was sure though, that Mike wouldn't tell anyone about it. He smiled a little.

"You're fine. Everything is going to be okay, Mike." He mumbled quietly. Mike slowly turned his gaze to look at him then. Harvey wasn't sure, but Mike might have smiled back. He didn't say anything though. They stayed where they were until Mike's eyes remained closed, his breathing was back to normal and Harvey was sure he was asleep. First then did he dare to carefully remove his hand from Mike's. He waited a minute or two just to see if the kid would wake up again.

He hated to see Mike like this, hated for him to feel this scared and he hated the part he had played in it. But he was going to make it right now. Whatever it would take and however long it might take, he would make sure that Mike was good again.

Harvey slept restlessly the rest of the night, at least twice he went up to check on how Mike was doing, but he remained asleep the rest of the night.

Mike was doing slightly better the next day. He thought he still had a fever, but he felt well enough to get up and take a shower. Harvey was also up when he was finished, and they had an awkward moment where Mike didn't know what to say.

"Are you okay?" Harvey then asked, Mike nodded and stared at the ground.

"That's good." Harvey patted his shoulder, suggested that they had breakfast and went to the kitchen. Mike followed him.

"You want to talk about it?" Harvey asked when they were sitting at the table.

Mike tightened his grip around his coffee cup.

"Last night you mean?"

Harvey nodded.

Mike sighed a bit and stared down in his cup. "I don't know. I just… It gets too much sometimes. It feels like I can't get out of the thoughts. I think about what happened all the time. It's like everything reminds me of it. I know I should be over it, because it was weeks ago now, but I just…"

"Mike, who says you should be over it?"

"No one, but I…" He didn't know what else to say.

"Mike. Whatever you are feeling it's okay. No one can tell you what to feel, not even me." He smiled, but Mike didn't think it was funny.

"You'll get through it." Harvey said. "And I'm here."

"Thank you." Mike swallowed hard and tried to smile back. "I appreciate that Harvey."

After they were finished Mike went to lay down for a while, he felt a little dizzy. Harvey went and got him some pills for the fever.

It was a slow morning. Harvey sat down with his laptop and got some work done. He also searched after leads on the kidnappers. He had gotten that as a habit lately, just search for anything he could think of that might give him a something to go on. So far, he hadn't gotten anywhere, but he wasn't planning on stopping.

Harvey looked over towards Mike and saw that he looked to be asleep. That was good, Mike probably needed all the sleep he could get. Sleep equaled healing, didn't it? The younger man had a lot of healing to do. Harvey couldn't help thinking back on when he went to get Mike back. How he held him in his arms and how Mike, bloodied and bruised, had just cried against him. Mike had cried last night too, not as much but some. He had asked to not be touched, said that he was scared.

Harvey sighed to himself. How was he going to make this better for the kid?

He worked for a couple of hours. He went out on the balcony, to make a few phone calls, so that he wouldn't wake Mike up. The younger man was awake though when he got inside again. He didn't react when Harvey opened the door and stepped inside. He was just laying there, blinking slowly, and staring straight ahead. Harvey made them lunch, but Mike only shuffled it around on his plate without eating much.

"I'm not really hungry." He said when Harvey carefully mentioned it.

Harvey nodded. "I think it's good if you eat though." He watched the other man, but Mike just stared down at the table. "If you want, I can get you something else." Harvey added.

Mike looked up at him then and smiled a little. "Thanks, but this is good."

"You're not eating it though." Harvey pressed on.

Mike sighed and looked away again. "I'm not hungry." He repeated. "Don't be mad." He whispered the last part, as if he hoped that Harvey wouldn't hear it. But he did hear it, it was just that he didn't know how to respond to that at the moment. He pretended not to have heard. He didn't say anything else about Mike's food after that. This wasn't a fight that he wanted to take, so he didn't say anything when Mike quietly walked over to the kitchen with his half-eaten plate.

Mike stopped in the middle of the room after that. Like he didn't know where to go. He looked between Harvey, who were still at the table, and the couch. For a moment Harvey thought that he would sink down at on the floor where he was standing, but then he slowly walked over to the couch and sat down. He drew his arms around himself protectively and stared down at the floor in front of him.

Mike was trapped in his thoughts once again. Everything just felt so hard, and he didn't know why. Every breath he took in front of Harvey at the table had felt wrong. He had been terrified that Harvey would make him finish all on his plate. He didn't want to be forced to eat. He had no appetite. Luckily Harvey didn't get mad at him and didn't say anything when Mike left the table.

He wished he could go back to sleep again so that he didn't have to be awake. He wouldn't have to think then. But he didn't want to have nightmares again either. It felt like his brain was burning. He had a hard time to keep up with all the thoughts, that rushed around in there. So much of them made him feel bad, made him want to escape his own mind. He couldn't do that though. He was trapped.

Harvey surprised him a little when he sat down in front of him with his laptop. It was good though because Mike liked when he could see him. He didn't feel good when Harvey wasn't there. Thoughts like that made him feel so pathetic. Harvey must hate him. Harvey had said that Mike had cost him a million dollars. He had.

He owned Harvey now. Harvey had saved his life. Mike didn't know if he thought it had been worth it or not. What if he didn't think so? It wasn't like Mike was good company. He didn't eat the food Harvey gave him, he couldn't handle work the way Harvey wanted and he spent his nights screaming. He knew that he should force himself to act like before, because Harvey had liked that, but he just couldn't. What if Harvey really regretted getting him back? What if he rather would have had the money.

No, Mike needed to come up with a plan. He needed to make things right. Without thinking much about it he stood up. He didn't want to be on the couch anymore. He stumbled at little but got out on the floor. He just needed to be on his feet and think. He would be able to think better. He just needed a plan. Something good. Harvey needed to like him again. If he just offered to pay back the money, then Mike wouldn't owe Harvey anything, it would be like before. It wouldn't be Mike's fault that things were so bad. Maybe he could let Harvey take it from his salary, he could work for free. But how would he pay his rent then? No, that wasn't going to work.

"Mike? Come on and sit down." Harvey suddenly said, and Mike turned to face him. Harvey had put his laptop on the table and was watching him closely now.

Mike backed several steps away from him and opened his mouth. But no words came out. He felt so stupid then. He was so stupid.

Harvey got up from the chair then and started to walk towards him. Mike felt panic rush up inside him as he backed even further away. He felt scared. He needed to speak.

"Harvey I…"

"Mike stop. Just sit down again."

Mike interrupted.

"Please… I'll pay you back. I'll pay you back all the money. I will. It's just going to take some time, okay? It'll take some time. But I… I…. I'll pay it back." Mike was rambling, his eyes unfocused.

Harvey stopped right where he was, with his arms a bit outstretched. What the hell was this now? Why would Mike bring up this again?

"No, you won't Mike. We talked about that. You won't pay me back." He tried to keep his voice firm, but it was like Mike didn't hear a word because he continued.

"But it'll be better. Then it won't be my fault. It will be okay then. You won't blame me anymore. Things will be good again, Harvey. I promise." Mike smiled at him then and Harvey wanted to scream at him to shut up, to just stop saying those things. He raised his voice a little.

"Things are good Mike. They are, don't worry. You are not paying me back anything because you don't owe me anything. It's the guys who took you that are the only ones who will pay me back. Not you!"

"But they won't do it Harvey. They won't. They are not like that. I thought they were going to kill me when they took me away from there, but for some reason they didn't. But they won't pay you back. And you said that I cost you a million dollars. That I did, you said that."

"I know I did Mike, and I should never have done that. It was a mistake. And it was wrong! Do you understand? I was wrong."

Mike looked at him with wide eyes. "But you don't blame me for losing all that money? If it wasn't for me, you'd still have it."

Harvey swallowed and just wished that this conversation would end.

"But Mike, then I wouldn't have you. I prefer to have you. Do you understand that? You are more important to me than any money. I need you to understand that."

"But you don't blame me?"

"No Mike, for God's sake. I blame myself for all of this. You got hurt because of me. That's the only blame here, on me. I'll never blame you. You were innocent. They used you to get to me. It's all on me. Tell me you understand that."

Mike looked at him with those wide glassy eyes.

"I don't blame you." He said slowly. "It wasn't your fault either."

"It feels like it was." Harvey said.

"No Harvey." Mike said, and something in his eyes changed then. For a moment he seemed to be a bit more coherent. He surprised Harvey somewhat when he walked up to him and threw his arms around him in a hug. Harvey brought his arms up around Mike and hugged him back. He drew the younger man closer to him and held on hard. Mike was so warm to touch, and his shirt stuck to his back. Harvey wondered how high his fever actually was. How had he not noticed this?

A long time they stood like that. Harvey felt touched by the moment and reaction from Mike, and he actually felt how his eyes got a bit wet.

Harvey didn't bother wiping his eyes as they pulled a part. He held on to Mike's shoulders and studied him.

"So, you understand that I don't blame you in any way?" He asked.

"You don't blame me." Mike nodded. "You just said that because I pissed you off, but you didn't mean it. I understand."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I should not have done that."

Mike nodded.

"I believed it. I believed that was how you truly felt. But you don't, right?"

"I don't."

Mike smiled then and Harvey automatically smiled back.

"Yeah?"

"No, Mike. I'm sorry that you ever believed that."

"Thanks Harvey."

"No, don't thank me. How are you feeling now then, huh? Do you want to go and lay down for a bit?"

Mike looked worried at once and shook his head. "I don't want that." He said. "I don't… I don't feel that good."

"That's why I think it might be a good idea for you to lay down. You have a fever Mike."

Mike licked his lips and looked around, suddenly he looked close to tears. "But I don't want to sleep on the couch." He said. "I don't want to sleep there. What should I do?" His question wasn't really directed to Harvey, instead it was more like he spoke to himself.

Harvey felt like he had trouble following in all the turns as he watched tears run from both of Mike's eyes. He carefully took a hold of Mike's arm to get his attention. The kid jerked.

"You don't have to sleep there anymore. You can take my bed for now. That's okay."

Mike looked destroyed when he met Harvey's eyes. "But where are you going to sleep then? Are you going to leave? Don't leave. Please..."

"What? No, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving. I'll… I'll take the couch. Besides, Mike, it's not even two a clock in the afternoon."

"Oh." Mike just said and looked down.

Harvey squeezed his arm a little and wished that he understood what was going on in Mike's head.

"Come on kid, let's go." He carefully steered Mike towards his bedroom, the younger man following along without a word. Harvey pulled the cover away from the bed and told Mike to lay down, he seemed reluctant but did it anyway.

Mike looked up at him when Harvey draped the cover over him.

"You won't leave right?" Mike whispered. Harvey pursed his lips and sat down on the edge of the bed. He shook his head.

"No, I'm not going anywhere Mike."

Mike nodded a little and then curled up on his side, facing Harvey. He bit his lip a little and rubbed at his eyes.

"I'm sorry I'm so messed up." He said.

Harvey let out a deep breath. "You don't have anything to apologize for." He said. "Try to get some rest. Everything is okay, I promise."

Harvey did feel pretty proud of himself when Mike after a few minutes fell asleep. He was better at this comforting thing than he thought. Mike had so much going on in that brain of his that it probably was a good idea that he slept some more.

It hurt in him to think that Mike blamed himself for anything at all in this situation. That he again had offered to pay back his own ransom was just devastating. Mike thought things would be okay if he did. That implied that he thought that something was wrong. Harvey desperately wanted to fix that.

Mike had looked so scared too. Just like he had the day when Harvey rescued him, and a lot of times after that. What was it that he was so afraid about now? Was it that the kidnappers would return? That was what his nightmares had been about. No, Harvey didn't want to think about that.

He would just have to take things as they came, slowly and one step at the time. For now, he would let Mike sleep for a while, then he would see.

About two hours after they had lunch and Mike's little breakdown Harvey got a message about a delivery. At first, he was confused since he couldn't remember ordering something, but then he knew what it was. The bed for Mike had arrived! It was stupid that he forgot about that. When he thought about it, he was fairly sure that he had read that it should have been delivered yesterday. Now it got delivered at the door for an extra fee, but the company just left it in the hallway, and Harvey who hadn't prepared on where to put it didn't argue about it, even though he knew that he couldn't carry it by himself. He would need Mike's help to do that now, and he wasn't sure the kid was up for that.

First, he had to clean out his office a bit to make room for the bed. He went to work and moved the desk closer to the window and pushed a cabinet to the other side of the room. After that he was fairly certain it would fit.

Mike was still asleep on Harvey's bed and he decided to wait until the kid woke up before asking him to help carrying the bed. He went back into the office and decided to clear some space out so that the kid could have somewhere to put his stuff. He also got some bedsheets and pillows. It actually looked pretty okay when he was done, less like and office and more of a bedroom.

Harvey rolled his eyes when he looked into his bedroom and saw that Mike was still asleep. He decided to give him an hour or two more. He wasn't sure though if it was a good idea to wake the kid. But three hours later he had lost his patience. Almost five hours the kid had slept now.

"Mike?" He said quietly, just to see if he would wake up. He did. The kid jerked awake and flew up to sitting with his arm up in front of him. Shit. Maybe this had been a bad idea, maybe he should have waited.

"It's just me." He said and waited until Mike took down his arm again. He looked up at Harvey with wide eyes, and Harvey really regretted now, that he had woken him. Mike didn't look good at all.

"What?" He rasped now and blinked a few times. Mike's eyes felt dry and his heart was beating hard in his chest. He had been dreaming again and it had been bad. Right now, he remembered it all. He didn't feel in control, and nothing got better from Harvey standing there looking down at him.

"What's up? You good?" Harvey asked now and Mike stared at him. Was he serious? For a moment Mike wanted to scream at him and ask if he looked fine.

"No." He mumbled now and laid down again. He pulled the blanket higher up, so it mostly covered his face. He wanted to black out or something.

"I kind of need your help with something Mike. If you are up for it, that is?" Harvey said.

Mike pulled the blanket down again and looked at his boss.

"With what?"

"Come with me to the hallway." Harvey turned and walked away. Mike hesitated for a moment. The hallway? What did Harvey want help with there? Was he going to show him the door? Had he gotten Harvey pissed off somehow? Was it because of earlier, or maybe last night? Was it because Mike was laying on his bed? Maybe Harvey didn't like that anymore?

He felt how his eyes started to burn and he felt so tired. He hadn't done anything wrong. He couldn't refuse Harvey though and he slowly sat up and walked after the older man. He felt all shaky and cold and slightly off balance. He stopped and stared at the thing in the hallway. What was it?

"I just need help carrying it to your room." Harvey said and grabbed on to the far side of the mattress.

"My room?" Mike said, not moving.

"Yes, you can't sleep on the couch every night. I got the impression that you didn't like it any more. Come on, Mike." He nodded towards the other side of the bed.

Mike just stood there and blinked. He had totally forgotten about this. Harvey had told him about it, but he had forgotten.

"Mike? Are you okay?" Harvey had let go of the bed now and looked worried.

"Yeah." Mike swallowed and made to grip the bed. Harvey was so nice to him. He wasn't sure if he deserved it.

The bed was heavy and at first Mike wasn't sure he could do it.

"It's fine, we'll take it slow." Harvey said. Mike still felt like shit when he had to rest halfway there.

Harvey had made space in his office and the bed fit nicely there. Harvey patted his back when they were done and told him good job. Mike just stood there.

"Thank you." He said. His voice sounded strange.

"You're welcome." Harvey said and then, a bit to Mike's surprise, started to make the bed.

"I can do that." He tried, but Harvey ignored him. So, Mike just stood there, still like a statue and watched. He noticed that the entire room was changed. A few of the shelves in the bookshelf were empty.

"What do you think?" Harvey asked when he was done.

"It's great." Mike said quietly. He wanted to lay down but didn't know if he could. He felt his eyes burn. This was so nice of Harvey. "Thank you." He said.

"Sure."

"Are you sure this is okay, though." Mike quietly asked. He didn't know if he wanted to know the answer.

"Of course, I'm sure. Don't be stupid." Harvey smiled at him and boxed his arm a bit. Mike stumbled to the side and Harvey apologized, but still with a grin on his face. "Things will be okay Mike." He said. Mike wanted to believe him so badly, but it didn't matter how many times Harvey said that. He still didn't feel any different. The uncomfortable and close to panic state he was in, was almost always there.

Harvey was looking at him closely now and it looked like he wanted to say something. Mike hated himself a little when his first reaction was to be nervous about that.

"Why don't you sit down." Harvey said now. "Try it out."

Mike slowly did what he was asked. They bed was quite soft. He slowly stroked his hand over the cover. He looked back at Harvey who sat down on a desk chair and rolled it a bit closer to Mike.

"Mike…" He stared.

"Yeah." Mike whispered.

"I wanted to tell you something earlier. I sort of missed my chance then, but Mike, what I wanted to say is that I messed up before. I paid the ransom for you and I got you back. But then I dropped the ball on you. I should have been there for you more and I wasn't. I told you it would be alright, but then I just left you to figure it out on your own. That was wrong of me. I should have been more involved in your recovery from what you went through. I should have asked more questions, should have asked you what you needed. But it didn't. I regret that."

Harvey looked into Mike's eyes to see that he was really listening. Mike's eyes had become softer and a bit shiny. He didn't look as tense as he had been just minutes earlier. Harvey continued.

"I would like to have a second chance, if you are willing to give it a try. You can stay with me for as long as you want or need. We'll figure this out together. You are not alone in this, it might have felt like you were, but you are not. I'll make sure you know it. It will be different from now on, okay. In a better way."

Mike blinked a few times. But didn't speak.

"You asked me to help you on that graveyard. You asked for my help, Mike. And I'm letting you know that you have it."

He took a deep breath and then wanted to see how Mike would respond. The kid had that look in his eyes now, that Harvey recognized from when he was about to figure something out. Hope and excitement, if then a little.

"That's a lot of talking Harvey." He said eventually, but he smiled. Harvey rolled his eyes a bit at him.

"So, what do you say?"

"So, what you were saying is that you will have my back this time? And I can stay with you?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Okay." Mike whispered.

Harvey smiled, stood up and held out his hand towards Mike. But after just a few seconds Mike stood up too. Then he leaned forward and threw his arms around Harvey in a hug. "Thank you." He whispered when Harvey hugged him back. "Thank you, Harvey. You're saving me."

Harvey swallowed at those words and choose to not answer. He just pressed the kid a bit closer to himself, to feel him there. To know that for the moment, Mike was okay. And right now, Mike was saying that he was trusting him to help him, saving him. That was a huge step forward at this moment. He didn't know what was going on inside Mike's head at the moment. Mike still felt so warm. He must still have a fever. Harvey didn't know if they should be worried about that or not, it had been days now and still the kid was sick. At least he was up and walking now.

They let each other go and Mike stumbled back a few stepped and dragged a hand over his face. He felt dizzy and exhausted, but also relieved. Harvey had said that he was going to have his back, that he was going to help him. That was all he had wanted to hear.

-SUITS-