Butterflies don't guarantee a Happy Ever After ticket, but stomach aches will appear.
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In which she's not as dense and he's not as forceful.
Kagura doesn't want boys or love or meaningless things that will get you old in no time.
What she wants is to travel the space with her bald Papi, to stand with him and be remembered as the gallant daughter who traveled the space with the strongest space hunter in the universe.
It's a simple dream.
Unreachable for now but she will grow stronger, fighting even her own blood, just to be that mature lady her Papi and Mami can proudly have. She will be the greatest female alien hunter.
Kagura strives for wholesome simplicity, one that could fill her without having the need to lust over it over and over again.
That's why-
"Come back here, you piece of trash, Super Sadist!"
-she doesn't have time to chase this shitty brat across the town just to retrieve a strip of sukonbu.
But their income states otherwise. Just the mere wish of sukonbu makes Gin-chan complain about taxes and cries over a month-old empty carton of strawberry milk. Shinpachi is better at handling these things, giving her a glass of milk or serving her plain rice with ochadzuke. He's such a mom, that Glasses.
"China, you getting rusted? What, don't you want this nasty pickled seaweed of yours?"
But lately, there's something going on with her body. No, even inside her mind. She cannot comprehend it so she has to ask others.
"Oi~ The hell are you staring at?"
That's right, she doesn't have the time to chase this brat with that sadistic face while dangling the sukonbu between his fingers.
Doesn't mean she'll let this pass, though.
Kagura swerved her umbrella to his chin and kicked his hand. When he lets go of the strip, she swiftly catches it in the air. Sougo stretches his leg to trip her, watching how she gracelessly landed on her butt. She pulled the trigger of her umbrella to rain bullets on him.
When the smoke subsided, he got no one to fight with.
x-x-x
It was afternoon with the sun peacefully setting on the horizon. Soyo adores how the orange clashed with the blue sky, turning pinkish-purple towards the other side.
"Oh, look, Kagura-chan! A shooting star! Quick, let's-"
Instead of wishing, Soyo found herself blinking at her friend before a small, teasing smile made its way to her lips.
"You're looking at him, again, Kagura-chan."
Kagura stiffened. "You're wrong, Soyo-chan. I'm killing him with my death glare."
"But that's the seventh time this afternoon and it's still not working. This morning, you already did that for-"
"Why are they here, anyway?! They know how strong I am, enough to be your bodyguard, yes?!"
"You said that too, just an hour ago. I've been keeping track, you see."
An umbrella blocked their view of the Shinsengumi officers below. Soyo watched Kagura balancing on the roof, walking towards the top. The redhead basked in her own radiance, something that only the Yato girl had whenever it's dusk. She smiled at the princess, a pale hand opened to her.
"Sorry, Soyo-chan, for being distracted when you have limited time outside the palace. Let's continue having fun!"
From below, the men were panicking, at loss upon finding the two girls gone from their sight. Sougo put a halt to their sweating faces and shaking hands. The men followed their captain's gaze, to where the China girl carries the princess while jumping from roof to roof of the castle. Giggles and shouts of joy can be heard from their direction.
"Let them be. China can take care of themselves."
x-x-x
Anego had to deliver something to Shinsengumi Headquarters. Kagura stared at the beaten gorilla that the older Shimura was pulling, its ass being burned on the scorching pavement.
"That's what you get for stalking us all the way to the market, Gori."
"Now, now, Kagura-chan. He already vowed to never put the Shinsengumi in vain so let's teach him manners next time, alright?"
They arrived at their destination, umbrellas over their heads, waiting for someone to call and handle their Chief. As Yamazaki apologized profusely for their superior's actions, Kagura's eyes were glued on something else.
In front of them, the First Division of Shinsengumi were partaking in their afternoon practice. They swung their swords with firm determination, pointed at their unseen enemies.
It should be taken note that the something she was staring at is actually someone.
Taking the lead at the center of the topless men is their captain to where their fiery eyes were dedicated to. His legs stood apart before his upper torso followed, his posture already showing the authority and the capability he withholds. Quite contrary to his subordinates, he swung his sword effortlessly, slicing through thin air, swift and certain to where it goes. Muscles rippled when he flexed his biceps, elbows sharply turning when he took another stance. The glimmer of sweat on his naked chest should have looked ridiculous on him, not making him like a true bishounen character with his hair shining closely to golden when it caught the sun's rays. He lets out an inaudible intake of breath, his face fully comes to her view, and his eyes were-
He was looking at her, dammit.
She quickly averted her gaze.
"Now that the gorilla's been taken care of, let's buy that strawberry mi- Eh? Uh, Kagura-chan, why are you all the way over there?"
"I-I'm excited about the market sale! Let's go, anego, yes?" Kagura waved, several steps ahead of Otae, then vanished into the corner.
She can't help it okay? She felt those brownish-red orbs following her, haunting her. Maybe those will visit her again in her nightmares.
x-x-x
"Sa-chan, why do you like Gin-chan? He has smelly feet, loves nothing good, has stinky morning breath, and poops a long poop."
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Kagura-chan, isn't it obvious, even to a small girl like you? We're very compatible. He's an S, I'm an M. He's a good-for-nothing samurai and I'm a beautiful excellent ninja. He's always injured and I'll nurse him back. Even our theme colors match. I can be what suits his needs and wants. He doesn't have to do any of that because he's everything I want and need!"
"So, it's about compact?"
"Yes, compatibility. It's all about that and," Sarutobi Ayame places a hand over the girl's chest. "It's also about what you feel in here. If you can accept his flaws, if he can understand your misgivings, and both of you can live with them supporting each other, then wouldn't you call that love?"
Kagura's blue eyes widened a fraction.
"But because your breasts don't seem any bigger, this means you're not ready for any love yet. Let me replace you in the Odd Jobs with Gin-san while you consider your-"
Zenzou pinned a kunai on Sa-chan's head as Kagura stepped away from the love-sick stalker.
x-x-x
"Tsukuyo, we have a visitor! It's the Odd Jobs-"
Tsukuyo immediately arrived at the entrance.
"-Kagura-chan."
"O-Oh."
"Hello, Tsukki." After a second, Kagura turned around. "Guess I'm not the one you're expecting, yes? Bye then."
"No! That's not it! What are ya talking about, anyway?! Come back here and do what ya came here for!"
"Kagura-chan," Hinowa ushered both of them to sit. "You know you're very welcome here. But I have to say, a girl like you shouldn't freely come around these parts."
Kagura frowned, a small pout appearing on her face. "I can handle myself, yes? Even Gin-chan says so!"
Tsukuyo breathed out a cloud of smoke before putting her pipe away from Kagura. "That's exactly why. Look, those young lads are hiding from ya. I bet ye're also the reason why they've stumbled upon this city of pleasures."
She clicked her tongue, attempting to scare the brats by pointing her umbrella to them. "That's exactly why I came here, yes. Seems like I didn't throw them off. Tch."
Hinowa laughed at the girl's antics. "My, don't you want to try first? I'm sure that giant boyfriend of yours in the past won't be the last, right?"
"Hinowa, she's just a child. It's still early." Kagura stopped her glare at the boys when she felt a hand lightly caressing her head. "I say that, but, Kagura, do ya have someone ya want to try it again?"
Her face immediately soured. "I don't need any of those-"
A certain sadistic officer appeared on her mind, grinning and turning to her with an evil glint to his bloodstained eyes.
In a blink of an eye, Kagura has her head on the ground, screaming an incoherent battle cry while continuously smashing her head on the cracked floor.
"K-Kagura?"
"Are you alright? What has gotten to you, Kagura-chan?"
With the help of Tsukuyo, Kagura raised her head and a thumb. "I'm perfectly fine, yes. I just had a nightmare."
"Well, you look like you came straight from a horror movie."
x-x-x
"Gin-chan, Shinpachi, I think I'm sick." Kagura put Tama's hand on her forehead. "Extremely sick, yes?"
Catherine cackled. "Oi, illegal alien! You on your period? You let blood on your head- BWAHCK!"
Otose shakes her fist from punching Catherine then looked at Tama who shook her head at Kagura's assumption. "What's the matter, Kagura? Didn't you buy your sukonbu when you bought that perm's strawberry milk?"
Kagura just stared at the clean towel Otose gave her. "Where are they?"
"I saw them go somewhere a while ago." The old lady sighed before preparing a bowl. "Come sit, I'll make you your egg over rice."
"No need, Granny. My stomach won't handle any food. Something's definitely wrong with my head too, yes."
Kagura listlessly waved goodbye. Catherine was about to follow her when Otose shook her head at the cat thief. Tama walked over the landlady. "Are you sure, Otose-sama? I didn't detect any fever but she was warm and flushed. Her heart was beating slightly fast."
"She's out of herself too. How could she decline food, nyu?"
Otose kept a secret behind her smile. "Let her be. Food's not going to cure her anyway. She has to find her own solution to that incoming headache of hers."
Tama and Catherine shared a look before looking at her again.
"Trust me. This old woman knows everything a girl has to experience."
x-x-x
Sadist was fighting with Nobutas.
Kagura could only watch.
They already understood each other so their fights were a mere ghost of their previous spats from when they were still enemies.
But they fought just as intensely.
Kagura tilted her head.
They were intent on killing each other.
Kagura scratched her head.
They were skillfully unleashing their prowess.
Kagura stroked her head.
Was Sadist like that when they fought?
No, yes?
Kagura turned around. She looked up to the sky with a fist over her heart. Dismissing the unusual throb, she sighed and closed her eyes.
After a beat, she left.
Nah, she didn't.
Sougo stepped on her head before jumping in front of her. Nobume followed suit, stepping on Sougo's head before standing beside Kagura.
"What-"
"What are you doing, stealing her?"
"Girls would always choose their friends, right, Kagura-san?"
Kagura blinked. Still not knowing what the hell was happening, Nobume grabbed her and ran.
"We're going to the palace. Now that you're on our side, our chances of winning are significantly higher."
"Winning what, Nobutas?"
Nobume gave a small smile. "You'll see."
x-x-x
Gintoki stood beside Ayame, Sakamoto, and Zenzou. Kondou and Sougo were there along with Yamazaki and Elizabeth. Extras were behind them.
Soyo huffed, pulling Nobume and Kagura beside her. Sadaharu followed with Shinpachi, Mutsu, Katsura, Shimaru, and Tsukuyo on their posts. Extras were on the sides.
"Oi, why is the princess included in the Battle Royale?! Isn't that cheating, you bastards?!"
"The winning group will receive a year's worth of sukonbu and three dozen of fresh eggs! Now, everyone, cast aside your identities as we fight for the top price!" Soyo revealed the shiny ticket. "The trip to space with Umibouzu as his fellow co-alien hunter!"
Kagura squealed, abruptly hugging the princess.
"Now, let's go!" Soyo pointed her free hand to the two men tied on the rope. "Whoever fits the most cigarettes in their mouths wins. Battle Royale, begin!"
Madao frighteningly lifted his legs but to no avail. "Why me?! Why is it always me?!"
Wriggling to untie the ropes, Hijikata screamed, "Who tied me here when I was asleep?!"
Mutsu immediately grabbed Sakamoto and put him inside his own merchandise. Tsukuyo kept Ayame off Gintoki while his head was being bitten off by Sadaharu. Zenzou blissfully reads Jump atop the dog. Kondou and Katsura carried the boxes of cigarettes but they can't put them inside the two victims' mouths when Elizabeth and Shimaru are fighting in front of them, a placard covering Madao's mouth while Hijikata has a notebook hanging over his head. Nobume kept scaring the victims as she slowly slices the pole they were tied to, slicing until her swords touch the strands of their hairs.
Kagura laughed. "Yup. Nothing beats being with your family, yes?"
Sougo smirked. "Nothing beats seeing Hijikata-san being rendered useless. Now then," He readies himself to quickly go over the idiots and push the cigarettes to the rotten Vice Chief's mouth. "I'll beat you to it, China!"
And he left.
Nah, he didn't.
Kagura held his uniform, tugging him towards her, and placed her soft lips to Sougo's cheek.
Slow-mo? The world stopping? Being in heaven and meeting the gods?
Nah, that didn't happen.
Don't underestimate the monsters in your stomachs, bastards.
What Sougo felt was a disaster. The darkest being inside him came to existence with just one innocent, harmless kiss from China. He saw everyone's faces, the shock and the giddiness that could be read from the way their bodies stilled and shook under the light of every twinkling star in the early dusk. He smelled her, the earth, the wind, and the cigarettes, relishing on the smell of sourness, naivety, and China even with all these scents swirling around. He imagined the volcanoes exploding, the tectonic plates colliding each other, the hurricanes across the oceans, and her family of bloodlust beings. He felt her, the stupidity and aggressiveness she hides in that lithe frame, the massive power that resides in her body, and all the hellish outcomes that are going to be the consequence for this stupid kiss.
Her acceptance.
And she felt him.
His persistence.
He's frozen under her touch and weakened by such small gesture, a weakness she'll gladly use to her advantage. She grinned. "Nothing beats you having beaten by me." Her lips hovered over his ear, a sadistic tune to her words. "You must be honored, Sadist, having to be a stepping stone for the greatest female alien hunter."
Soyo giggled in the sidelines, the ticket on her hand reminding her of the needless game to cheer her friend up. Gathering these people wasn't exactly easy, either. She was about to go to the couple when Sougo made a move. This time, everyone was dumbstruck.
After a minute, Sougo's lips left Kagura's.
He licked his lips as her pale skin turned a darker color than his. He pulled her waist closer, an uncontrollable smirk on his moist lips as he echoed her words, "Nothing beats you having beaten by me."
She clenched at his collar in annoyance while he brought his lips back to hers.
"Took you damn long, China."
"You suck at waiting, Sadist."
And they lived happily ever after.
x-x-x
"No shit. This ain't a fairy tale." Gintoki retorted as he hung upside-down later on. He watched the figures of Umibouzu and Kamui clenched their fists and stretch their taut bodies.
"Let's bring them the real 'Happy Ever After' ticket, then."
Another ooc story before I leave for good
I really have to update HFF, SI, and Larkspur tbh but I can't do that any time soon
Hope you all are doing well and if not, RECOVER SO WE CAN ALL PUSH THROUGH UNTIL JANUARY 8
Stay safe.
Chunchun