A/N: Life and holidays is the only excuse I can give for my lack of updates. But I wanted to update Ninjalogy, so freakin' bad—more so than Unexpected, though, I'm working on that too. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this little entry and the holiday season! You guys and gals are awesome!

Ninjalogy

By: Mad Betrayal

Chapter 20 ~ Look But Don't Touch (4)

The view from the upstairs terrace was like something taken straight out of a brochure. Distant skies and rolling dips of lush, green landscape as far as the eye could see. And nestled prettily below amongst the foliage and glittering sea banks were the scatterings of white edifices that made up the neighboring port town of Bohain. It was truly a beautiful sight…or at least it would be if everyone having lunch up on the terrace wasn't currently gawking at a certain nindroid who was currently engorging himself with his third bowl of beef stew and probably sixth piece of cornbread.

Even Lance, with his stoic demeanor, could only stare open-mouthed as the white ninja gulped down hot spoonful after hot spoonful. Max rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he observed Zane scarf down his meal, surmising that the blatant sound of sizzling he could hear was the other master's element at work in cooling the steaming stew enough for safe and rapid consumption. Zane was interesting—very interesting. The delicate mixture of mahogany and evergreen was all but an evanescent memory now, for the steadfast hue of ice blue dominated Zane's bright and enthusiastic optics. There was a secret hidden within the one across from Maximillian, he could feel it! But what…?

But from the other side of the spectrum—or rather table—there were the ones who knew Zane better. And quite frankly were more worried than intrigued…especially Kai. More than once the brunet had lifted his hand and opened his mouth to question his boyfriend, or at least attempt to slow down his ravenous eating, but couldn't get the words to pass from his lips. Something was wrong. This wasn't normal, not for Zane. Cole maybe! But not Zane.

The one in question—oblivious to the curious and worried stares he was receiving—having finished the bulk of the stew, used the last bit of his cornbread to gather the remainder of the soup and stuffed it into his mouth. The movements of Zane's jaw slowed to a sluggish crawl as he swallowed the last of his food with a contented hum. The others watched silently, waiting for the ice master to ask for yet another refill. But Zane was quiet. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for the briefest of moments before reopening them to reveal their normal, pure hazel shade. Finally, he was satiated.

They traveled to the chef. "My compliments to you, Lance. That was a most delicious meal."

Lance's brow furrowed, caught off guard by the matter-of-fact tone the other master used to relay his accolade. "Uh…thanks. It's an old family recipe."

Zane nodded, none the wiser to his brethren's mystifying stares. "I…really needed that. It was full of nutrients and…" a flicker of unease scuttled over his face "…I really needed that…"

"Zane…" Kai placed his hand on his opposite's shoulder, and finally the other male turned his gaze to meet his.

Zane suddenly smiled. "I am fine now, Kai, thank you. The peculiarity has passed."

Kai frowned, not at all convinced that everything was peaches and cream again. He opened his mouth to say as much, but Max's voice arose before his. "Well now that the hungriest of us is satisfied, why don't the rest of us dig in, eh?" And following his own advice, the red-head took a generous bite out of his own cornbread square. Jude shrugged once and began to eat as well. And with wary caution, the rest of the men at the table followed suit. The atmosphere wasn't exactly tense per se; it was more like a parliament of rivaling daimyos sharing a meal on neutral territory. You know…if THAT helped.

Lance stirred his stew languidly, his attention more focused on the one sitting across from him than his food. Deep blue eyes were hooded and fretfully obscured by long, dark lashes as Jay lifted his spoon to his mouth. Baby pink curves puckered smoothly to blow on a spoonful before opening further to slip the tender chunks of meat and veggies in. A smug smirk plastered itself onto Lance's lips as Jay's eyes brightened and his jaw worked hungrily in silent appreciation. The other man was so expressive, so apparent with his emotions. It was endearing, but also heartbreaking. As such attributes were mirror images reflected within Shane Underwood…the one Lance had loved…and lost.

As his mind began to darken, Lance's visage contorted into a scowl once his teal eyes shifted to the one seated beside the blue-eyed beauty. Such brutal hypocrisy. Cole Belmonte was the epitome of villainy as far as he was concerned. For the other Italiano was completely undeserving of having such a beautiful man by his side. But today was the day. He would finally avenge Shane. And by doing so, cripple Cole emotionally (and physically if the situation allowed) and steal Jay away from him. Oh what just desserts! What a long, overdue comeuppance! But for now, he would simply enjoy watching the other Italian man squirm.

Feeling a contemptible glare blazing a hole through his forehead, Cole lifted his gaze from his steaming bowl of stew to meet the harsh, teal orbs of a past memory. He still couldn't believe that such a shameful remnant of his past had come back to haunt him. It's been so many years. But Lance's appearance was a stark reminder of a past crime he had committed during his adolescence. An act so atrocious, that he kept it hidden and locked away in the deepest, darkest corners of his mind, hoping to forget its existence. But of course, whether it was destiny or karma or whatever, he would now have to face his past. Lance was going to make sure of that.

Deep melancholy and regret encompassed the ninja leader as those teal orbs bore relentlessly through him to judge his soul. And feeling that terrible sin resurface and start crawling on his back, Cole guiltily averted his gaze. He had to stifle a wince when he heard Lance scoff at his blatant cowardice. He gave a start, however, when he felt a hand grip his under the table and lifted his gaze again to meet two peerless sapphire eyes. Jay looked at him worriedly before shooting a dark look at Lance in reproach. Cole wanted to smile, he really did. But he couldn't even bring his lips to twitch. All because he knew he would have to prepare for the worst case scenario. Jay just might leave him over this, or at least question the legitimacy of their relationship. And to make it so bad, he would be more than in his right to do so. Thus if either of those things happened, Cole could do nothing but respect Jay's decision.

The early afternoon breeze wafted over the silent congregation of masters and Brad cleared his throat after taking a prolonged sip of lemonade. "Um, I actually think it's pretty cool that there are other elemental masters besides us," he ventured, giving the three hosts a congenial smile. "I always wondered, but was never sure if others truly existed."

Jude nodded excitedly, more than happy to have something to talk about over the heavy silence. "Same here. We all heard the rumors, but they were all about Ninja not masters, so we turned a blind eye."

"Not worth your time?" Kai sneered, but Jude shrugged.

"More like no nefarious acts accompanied the folklore." The youngest of the three leveled the fire ninja with a steady stare. "Trust me. If there were, we would've been all over it."

Lloyd, nonplussed, folded his arms. "So you say. But I still find it strange that we were unaware of you all's existence. Care to elaborate on your so called "missions"."

Another haphazard lift of the other blonde's shoulders occurred. "They vary in threat. From community, to state, to national. We mainly take part in tactical espionage. But we have had our fair share of large-scale battles. The Brittlesburg Crisis for one."

Jay gave a start, his eyes slightly wide. "You mean that calamity caused by that group of terrorists last year? You guys took care of that?"

"Hell yeah we did!" Max smirked. "And it was no easy feat either. But we would've had an even tougher time if our quick-witted leader wasn't around." The gunman clapped his hand onto Lance's shoulder, but his long-time friend just shook his head.

"It was a delicate situation, and we had to take care of it with limited casualties if possible. I found myself more invested in that case just because of what those radicals allegedly stood for: Purity. But what gave those bastards the right to determine which race was "pure" or not. Damn bigots. The very notion is hypocrisy." Narrowed teals shifted to glare into emeralds. "And if there's anything I hate more…it's hypocrites."

Like an ominous cloak, that heavy silence draped itself over the table of men once more. It was inescapable, daunting. And with the tension building up with each passing second, it became nearly constricting. Not able (or willing) to take anymore, Jay abruptly stood and slammed his hands down onto the table, sufficiently rattling the glass and silverware. Dark sapphires flashed and pinned Lance down with their ferocity.

"Alright, enough! If you think I'm just gonna sit here and listen to you blatantly ridicule Cole, then you have another thing comin'! Now get on with it! What do you really want to say, huh?! Spit it out already!"

Jay's sharp tongue was like a fine blade cutting through the prolonged torture Lance was trying to execute. But whether or not the Master of Sound was affected by his infatuation's ire was difficult to ascertain as apt rapture slid over his expression. "That anxious to leave him, huh?" Lance stood. "Fine. Then both of you follow me. Max, Jude, you two stay here with the rest of them…and make sure they don't interfere."

In a flash, Kai rose from the table as well, the flames already licking his body in defense. "Like hell, asshole! We're comin—"

"No, Kai. Sorry, but…just listen to him, okay?" Cole stood next, his face stonewalled. "I want to do this his way… It's the least I can do."

"The least you can do? Goddamn fucker…" With gritted teeth, Lance side-stepped around the table and headed back inside from the screen door with Jay and Cole following after him. When the trio made their exodus, Max threw his toothpick at the still literally flaming Kai, only to have the projectile incinerate upon contacting the blazing aura.

"Oi, this table's worth more than you. Set it ablaze and it'll be your ass."

All but growling now, the fire ninja shifted his molten glare to the other master, more than ready to start a brawl. However, an icy touch to his hand stunted his aggression. "Kai, please…" A simple plea from his beloved was all it took for the spiky-haired brunet to extinguish his element and settle back down in his chair with a hissing sigh. Lloyd frowned dubiously. The incident at the mall was all they had to go off of when trying to figure out Lance's involvement with Cole. It was anger. No, it was utter and absolute hatred that dominated Lance's attitude towards their leader. And what's more, was that Jay was now a part of the equation too. Him and that other unidentifiable person: Shane Underwood.

Lloyd looked to the opposite side of the table. Two masters as well as two blood brothers knew what was going on, but what would it take for them to divulge the secret surrounding the two Italians? Hmm…? What's his problem…? While Max exuded the air of aloofness to the situation, it appeared the same couldn't be said for his younger sibling. Jude sat hunched over the table, his arms folded and his brow furrowed. The atmosphere surrounding the blonde was very different than his usual clandestine pep. Now only unfocused anxiety permeated the air around him.

This…was serious, wasn't it?

"Jude…?" Brad's soft tenor crept over the rise, and the Master of Nature flinched as if the raven spat an accusatory jab. "Can't you tell us what's going on…?"

Max's lip curled. "All you guys need to do is wait. There's no reason—"

"Bro, we should tell 'em." Jude's mouth was set in a grim line of determination as he met his brother's incredulous expression. "I doubt anyone will leave here unfazed after today, so why keep them out of the loop. And…I'm tired of seeing Lance suffer…"

"Jude…"

"I called him."

*~Ninjalogy~*

Lance led Jay and Cole deeper into the villa. But Jay noticed that something felt a bit off the further they trekked. Was it just him…or was the hallway getting darker? The luminosity from the hanging sconces on the walls seemed to dim the deeper they went. It was like he and Cole were being led further and further away from civilization, the soft sounds of their shoes against the hardwood echoing and reverberating off the walls and reminding him of the utter emptiness that was this villa.

Empty.

Hollow.

Cold.

Jay's eyes fell on Lance's back. The latter's pace was neither frantic nor leisured. He was sure, but also angered. The broadness of his shoulders stood tensed against his silk shirt, making him appear bigger than he actually was. Was what Cole did in the past really so heinous? So much so that the animosity that was currently rolling off the other man in waves was damn near murderous? With each achingly loud step they took, Jay's resolve began to waver. He loved Cole dearly, but…

But…

I really don't want to know what happened…

Without breaking stride, Lance turned slightly and opened a door to a random room. The interior was pitch-black dark, but that was quickly remedied by Lance's hands making a resounding clap, flooding the room with light. Cole and Jay entered after him and peered about themselves cautiously. It appeared to be a simple bedroom shaded in dark colors and silver nuances. Elegant and obviously expensive furniture lied strewn artistically about. Jay caught his reflection in a Victorian-style vanity mirror, and propped up against the wall by the bed was a black guitar and maybe an amplifier of some kind. Jay wasn't particularly sure. But maybe this was the room designated as Lance's when he came to visit? Seemed plausible just by looking around.

Now what…? Jay wondered. He watched as Lance walked over and opened the flowing black drapes lining a window.

"You can sit anywhere you want."

"I p-prefer to stand," Jay answered immediately. He was anxious, and the shakiness in his voice showed. Lance turned and settled himself against the wall beside the window.

"You have nothing to worry about, Jay." His tone was soft, pleasant and oddly reassuring, but… "I wouldn't dream of ever hurting you." Those eyes…that smile…both were completely empty. Jay shivered.

Cole took a step forward. "Lance, listen…I'm not proud of what I did back then. And I'm sorry—"

"You need to start from the beginning," Lance snapped tersely. "And don't look at me. Look at him. Tell him what exactly you did."

Cole turned, and Jay could clearly see the remorse and pain etched deep into his features. From just seeing his boyfriend in such obvious agony, Jay wanted to stop him again—to tell him it didn't matter. That it was all in the past. But he stayed silent. After all, this was something Cole wanted him to know.

"When I was fourteen and in junior high, I was on the football team. I enjoyed it. It was a break—an outlet of sorts to get away from my dad's rehearsals and such. And he didn't mind either as long as it didn't get in the way dancing practice. But uh…anyway…I knew a boy named Shane Underwood. We weren't particularly close as he wasn't on any of the sport's team or anything. But I will say he was close enough to be considered a friend." He swallowed. "He was a good guy, very light-hearted, smart, and funny and uh…we hung out a few times. And one day…he told me he liked me…in a…romantic sense."

Jay felt his lips tug upward. What was so bad about that? Everyone had a past. So then, what was the big deal? Unless… Oh… Cole continued.

"I was dumbstruck, of course, as I haven't ever thought of another guy that way before. I must've been quiet for a long time after that, because he told me to think it over some and left. In retrospect, there wasn't anything for me to think over, since I wasn't attracted to Shane like that. No…I wouldn't find out that I was attracted to guys until…" he smiled ruefully at Jay, "…much later."

Oh Cole…

"Get on with it," Lance growled.

An anxious lick of the lips followed. "Uh… Nonetheless, I was still weirded-out by Shane's confession. But…I made the mistake of telling my teammates. They…got a good kick out of it, and some even suggested I go along with it just to see what would happen."

The soft smile from Jay's lips dropped like a rock. "What?" Cole held up his hands, his face clearly fearful.

"Wait. You need to hear everything, okay? Just…let me finish."

"Not yet, Jay." Lance's voice was tight with controlled anger. "You'll have your chance to lay into him just like I will. But for now, let the sack of shit finish."

Jay didn't like where this story was going. But, Cole didn't do anything like that, right? He was strong enough to ward off peer pressure—even at that age…right? Pained emeralds bore into wishful sapphires, begging and pleading for him to listen. So that's what Jay did. He continued to listen with a heavy heart.

"I was against it, of course. I didn't want to do that to Shane. But then my team captain—can't remember his name—said that I should. That if I did…if I dated him for a full month, then he could guarantee me a spot on the A team. His dad was the head coach so, he was sure he could pull some strings. So…" he fidgeted, "…I agreed."

"What?!" Jay couldn't help it. He never had the best control over his mouth. But out of all the times his "mouth of lighting" ran amok, now seemed the most appropriate to cut it loose. "You agreed?! And because of that?! Cole, you had to have known that was a hand-out not worth accepting!"

"I know that now, Jay…and back then…after everything that happened. I knew it wasn't the right decision. I was just thinking about my overall situation. I didn't want to be a musician like my father. I enjoyed football a lot. So I thought if I could make it to the A team, I would most likely be scouted to a high school instead of attending the Marty Oppenheimer. I was so desperate to forge my own path, that I was willing to do anything to achieve that goal…consequences and repercussions be damned… That's the way I thought back then."

"But what about, Shane?" Jay retorted. "Did you ever stop to consider his feelings and how your actions would affect him?"

Cole shook his head pitifully. "No, I didn't… I didn't think it would cause any real harm…"

Jay just stared at Cole, his eyes wide and incredulous. How could he not have known? He was literally playing with someone's emotions for his own gain. This just didn't sound like him! This didn't sound like something Cole—his Cole—would do! Yes, he understood that he was in a tight spot with his father, as they didn't have the best relationship back then. But to commit subterfuge towards an innocent bystander who was looking to him for emotional support and care…

"But it did cause "real harm", didn't it, Cole." Lance's voice arose from the quiet depths, startling Jay out of his reverie. He had almost forgotten the other master was present. "Shane came to me—to us: Max and Jude—happy and relieved that you had accepted his feelings. I was…saddened, but not upset, because all I wanted was my best friend's happiness…even if it wasn't with me…" Despite the brightness of the room, Jay could easily discern the shadow of despair creep unto Lance's face. He hadn't moved from his isolated position beside the window, seeming to willingly keep his distance from them. But the rising fire from those teal eyes spoke a question in Jay's mind: But for how long? "…I was the one who gave him the benefit of the doubt, deterred by Shane's happiness. It was Max who suspected foul play, and told me he heard you and your bitch cronies talking shit behind Shane's back. Calling him a faggot and shit…"

"I never called him that!"

"But you never spoke up in his defense either, now did you?!" Lance snapped. Even without Jay's element present, sparks flew sporadically throughout the room. Both men were tense: Lance no longer leaning against the wall, and Cole's angered and rigid posture. But the latter was the first to back down. Cole placed a trembling hand to his head, and Jay reacted by reaching towards him. "And neither did I…" Jay's hand stopped. "Too much of a coward to do anything else, I did the bare minimum and only told Shane what I had found out from Max, that you didn't care about him at all. And as you can probably guess, he didn't believe me. Told me I was being a bad friend in not supporting his relationship with you. I couldn't get through to him, nor could Max or Jude. He was just so deliriously happy. He only saw you." Lance's expression was torturous in his remembrance, but the hatred in his eyes hadn't lessened. They pierced Cole like red-hot daggers, wanting to deal even more pain to his suffering. "Finish," he bit out. "Look at him and tell him the rest!"

Jay's eyes widened. There was still more?

Cole lowered his hand and turned to Jay. The shorter male blanched at his boyfriend's heart-wrenching expression. Cole never cried. So why were tears pouring down his face? Panic-stricken, Jay frantically grasped at his lover. "No! I don't need to hear anymore! You did a bad thing, but it's been years since then! And we all did stupid things when we were young, it's fine! It's normal! So don't worry about it!"

"When the month was nearly over…"

He wasn't stopping. "Cole…please…"

The story got worse. It got so much worse. Cole proceeded to tell Jay how his captain wanted him to do one last thing before the month was up and the deal was complete. Cole said he just wanted the charade to end, so that he could let Shane down easy and ask if they could just go back to being friends. But before then, he was asked to invite Shane to an isolated section back behind the school. And of course, Shane agreed to meet him there after school. Supposedly, it was just to be an introduction of sorts. Just a meet and greet between the team and Cole's "boyfriend". A friendly encounter. It wasn't. Cole was betrayed by both his teammates and the captain. The captain told Shane upfront of Cole's farce, and proceeded to ridicule and shun the both of them for being "faggots". But instead of standing his ground and being the "solid as rock" Jay had always known him to be, Cole fled in embarrassment and shame. He left Shane behind, petrified and alone, to face the entourage of bigots.

"You left him…?" Jay's voice was an astonished whisper. He stared at Cole long and hard, disbelieving.

Looking thoroughly defeated, Cole could only nod. "I'm sorry."

"I wasn't there at the time." Lance interjected. Jay looked at him. He was so close now—at the apex of their little triangle. He looked lost and torn, a mix of rage and sorrow. "During it all, I was away for a week. My father had just been killed in an accident, and I was grieving with the rest of my family. But when I got back and went to attend school, Max told me that there had been rumors floating around about Cole and Shane. Though Cole was still attending school, Shane had gone missing. He hadn't been seen in school for days. That's when he and Jude confronted him to find out what had happened, and he told all. I tried calling him. And when that didn't work, I went over to his house. And that's when I'd learned from his parents…that he had taken his own life that morning. Shane was dead."

Jay's next breath felt like it had been ripped from his lungs. Dead. The end result. Another life snuffed out by the cruelty of reality, by those with narrow minds and dark hearts, looking only to cause pain to others who were different from them.

"And not one of them had the balls to show up at the funeral," Lance sneered. "Not one of them took responsibility for what had happened. I wanted revenge on all them and I achieved that with the help of my family's connections and with me being the heir. I basically had their lives ruined, their dreams crushed. And I relished in their suffering. But it wasn't enough, because this asshole was the one who slipped through my fingers. His father withdrew him from school, and he finished the year from home. Only through serendipity was I able to procure the info about him going to attend the Marty Oppenheimer School for Performing Arts." He smirked wryly. "What absolute luck that that bastard was going to the same school as I." The smirk fell and the frown resurfaced. "But he never showed. I waited. Plotted. Ready to exact my revenge and put Shane's memory to rest and move on…but the bastard never showed."

"I ran away…again…" Cole looked horrible, like he was barely able to keep himself standing. Jay had never seen him look so frail. A bitter, mocking laugh tore through the ambience then. Lance shook his head.

"Unbelievable…un-fucking-believable. But now you stand in front of me—of us," he pointed at Jay, "and you can't. And I finally get to take away what you tried to cheat me out of."

Jay moved.

"Jay…?"

He had to leave. His ears were ringing. His heart was pounding.

He had to be by himself.

He wanted to cry alone.

A/N: I separated this into two parts, because I wasn't finished with the last half yet. I will be soon though, because I'm going to release it right after this one. I want this story finished! Goddamn! So expect it later on this week. Root for me and leave some reviews if you want! Again, I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!