Notes:

Will add part 2 of this chapter as a separate chapter whenever I finish it. Hope to hear your thoughts!

The New Shadow Lord of the Dying (Morgana P.O.V.)

It wasn't the darkness that surrounded her, not truly. For it was all entirely too colorful and dull and bright all at once. It was as if she was surrounded by far too many things existing in the same place all at once. Appearing and disappearing only to reappear again… far too quickly cycling through to appear to the naked eye. And it was as if it were all around Morgana and yet not at all.

An experience so unlike any other and incredibly hard explain to anyone. The only thing that she was sure of was of Merlin, who her arms were grasping tightly to sure she would cease to exist if she so much as slipped. By sight and touch, he was the only material thing before her. This experience was surreal, to say the least, absolutely magical to its core.

She felt as if she were privy to the greater secrets of the world and a great pull deep in her soul wanted to know it all. Sounds whipping past them, above them and next to them. As they were being propelled through this mysterious surrounding far too quickly for any conversations to stick. But the voices, some foreign to her ears – "Do you love me, father?" – other's all too familiar to her – Arthur's voice sounded to anguished "Get up!"

But it couldn't be him… for he was nowhere near her, and certainly not here wherever here is. As she became more pensive, she hadn't noticed her arms beginning to slack in there stronghold around Merlin's torso. "HOLD ON!" Came Merlin's voice sounding gruff, "You let go and you may be lost forever."

She quickly tightened her hold around him again, only guessing what it would mean remain here – to be an incorporeal being forever. And while she has lost far too much already, she still had Arthur, no matter his faults or her grievances against him, they are family. But he needed her, she could not fail him now.

Not the way she had Nimue… Nimue struck by arrows delivered by Iris then falling to her death, while she stood by shock failing to do anything. She moved her face, digging into Merlin's chest closing her eyes so tightly as if she could force the image away from her mind so easily. A futile effort, she knew Nimue's death would mark her moving forward, and with it the blame she already placed on herself.

Then she heard Nimue's familiar voice so close if she were screaming it into her ear, "I REFUSE!" She pulled her head back, away from his chest looking up at him in panic. "Did you hear that?!" She yelped. Whether in surprise or fear, she did not know.

He turned to look at her, confusion clear on his face. "Hear what?" It was clear he didn't wish to talk much, and she didn't blame him at all. He too was filled with grief. He tried so hard only to fail. Nimue's hand slipping from his grasp, straight to her watery grave.

And he had chosen to save Morgana in spite of all his grief and wishing for death. She would save him from the pain that she could. "Nothing, it was nothing. All of this… it's just hard to process." At that, he only nodded, but she couldn't help but ask one more question before leaving a solemn silence between them. "Where are we exactly?"

"We are within magic itself, at its most natural state. Existing everywhere and nowhere, displaced from time, unseen by all but felt still." He explained.

Morgana looked back at him pensively, thinking of all she has seen and heard. "It's strange I feel nothing but I'm experiencing all. How is that possible?" She questioned, "It seems so unnatural."

"It's because it is. You are unnatural now." He answered. "Those untouched by magic would never have survived this. Fey kind could have if careful. I can because I have been most gifted, though cursed really. And you, you are a Widow, you are touched by magic now too."

"A Widow is touched by magic?" Morgana asked, shocked. "I thought the Widow a was a form darkness."

"All supernatural beings darkness and light have their beginning in magic. A Widow is a title given to the Shadow Lord of the Dying. That all goes to you now I fear. I'm afraid I don't know more, at least not enough that will explain all. For only a Widow can know what it truly means to be a Widow." He explained finally to Morgana.

Morgana nodded at his silent apology. The explanation landed heavy. There were no sure answers as to what it truly meant to be this new… creature. She wasn't sure if she characterized as human or even human adjacent any longer. "It is a curse!" Nimue's voice sounded loud in her ear. And she couldn't but agree, despite once longing to truly belong with the Fey she helped. "Where are we headed?" She asked seeking to distract herself with what was pertinent to now.

"A place and time that is safe for us now. Hold on a bit longer, we're only seconds away..." He trailed.

And as if it were nothing a light more blinding than anything, like the lightning that brought them here in the first place surrounded all around them. Drawing her attention away from the things that both are and aren't around them. And with a crack of thunder they appeared – or landed, was it? – back at Uther's camp.

She felt safe enough to let go of Merlin and wade back slowly. But before taking in her surroundings she couldn't but reassure herself that she had made it back to a material world, looking at her hands confirming that despite letting go of Merlin that they were still there, that she was still whole. Then she looked back at him and let out a low whisper, "thank you."

All Merlin did was nod and take in their surroundings, she felt she still wasn't in control of her body so she only observed his reaction and movements. And then she noticed his eyes stop at something just staring as if the sight itself refused to let him go. She whirled around, her eyes not taking in anything else around her until they landed on Arthur.

His eyes crinkled only slightly at seeing her, almost as if in relief. But then his eyes drifted to Merlin once more that she remembered herself everything that had happened prior and she was welcomed back to a somber reality. Nimue is gone, dead at the bottom of a lake. How would she let Arthur know, she tightened her jaw as tears began to form in her eyes. I'm doomed, she thought. And Nimue's voice spoke to her angrily, "By me."

Arthur's eyes returned to her once more and she knew it confirmed all he needed to know. She tried to reach him, starting to move towards him. Maybe her words would reach him much quicker than she could. Her arms reaching out as if they could comfort him even in this distance she began, "Arthur –"

But Arthur's face went blank, he looked removed the way he was the first days after their father had passed. She wouldn't reach him, Arthur was lost to her…