Guest: They will get back together eventually. I miss them in the show. Thank you for your review.

ReadingxTherapy: Aww, I'm so glad! Gem always has moments of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, bless her. Let's hope so. Thank you for your review.

Chapter Sixteen

"Ethan, have you seen Alicia?" Lily asked, finding herself lucky enough to spot Ethan in reception. "I um...I need to speak with her. It's quite important actually."

"I haven't seen her," he said. "Not recently anyway. I spoke to her earlier, but that was it. She was on the roof garden but we came back down to the ED together, so...I don't know. Sorry."

"It's fine," Lily sighed. "I'll try and find her. I just hope that she hasn't gone and done anything stupid."

Ethan frowned at her and asked, "Why would she? Is everything okay, Lily?"

"You said that you spoke to her earlier," Lily stated. "Did she say anything in particular?"

"Not much." He shrugged his shoulders. "She did talk about the police interview and she seemed quite shaken, but she didn't appear to be a danger to herself at all. Has something else happened, Lily?"

Lily hung her head and folded her arms across her chest. She was angry, upset, and terrified all at the same time.

"Lily. You're scaring me," Ethan said. "Has something else happened?"

"Yes, okay?" Lily hissed. "Something else has happened!" There was a pause, and Lily sighed deeply before continuing, "She kissed Iain."

"Excuse me?" Ethan almost looked angry. "Iain?"

"I don't think she meant to," Lily said. "Iain said that he didn't kiss her back. She's unstable right now though, isn't she? Which is why I'm worried, I guess. I just need to find her."

"Well, do you want me to help you?" Ethan sighed. "I'm mad at her for kissing Iain, but I still care about her. I guess I just thought that she liked me still."

"Mad at her?" Lily questioned. "Ethan, you were the one who ended things. You were the one who yelled at her. Alicia loves you more than anyone, and believe me, she'd love to be your girlfriend again."

There was a pause between them, as neither one of them knew what to say.

"I don't need your help," Lily said as politely as she could. "You have already spoken to Alicia once today anyway and you have a lot of work to be doing. Thank you, but...I really need to talk to her alone."

"That's fine," Ethan sighed. "Just text me if you need me. I'll keep my phone on."

Alicia couldn't remember why she'd ended up at the beach. After her conversation with Ethan, she just felt as if she just needed a walk, and that was where her legs had randomly taken her.

The water looked so peaceful and calming. The waves crashed up against the rocks, and piles of rubbish that people had thrown in washed up onto the sand beneath Alicia's feet. Everything looked so beautiful.

Alicia gulped and a few tears rolled down her cheeks, as she slowly walked towards the water. She clutched her mobile phone in her fist and just kept walking until the water was up to her knees. Just a few more steps and the sea would easily be up to her neck. It was so easy to drown in the depths of the sea and it almost felt tempting. If she drowned, then it would all be over. She'd never have to think of the blog, the hurt and upset that she'd put her colleagues through, the rape, nothing. All of it, every single detail, would be gone and erased from her life forever.

Her phone began to ring, as she walked further into the sea. It was now up to her waist. She stopped where she was and hesitated. Should she answer? Slowly glancing to look at the caller ID though, she saw that it was Lily.

She gulped anxiously and held the phone to her ear, whilst answering.

"H...Hello?" She stuttered.

"Alicia, it's me," Lily said quickly and in a panic. "Where are you? I've been looking everywhere for you."

Alicia wasn't sure whether to tell Lily her location or not. She then thought about Lily's reaction and how she'd feel after getting a call about Alicia's death. She'd be devastated. Lily had been raped, right? Years ago, the same thing had happened to her, and she was still alive. She couldn't do it. She couldn't put Lily through that.

"Alicia," Lily spoke again.

"Sorry," Alicia apologised, and turned to start walking back to the sand. "I'm at the beach."

"Alright," Lily sighed, sounding relieved. "Stay where you are. I'm coming."

Alicia hung up and arrived back on the sand, her clothes completely soaked from the sea. She couldn't possibly dry off before Lily got there. She was bound to realise. She collapsed on the sand in a pile of tears and held her mobile to her forehead, as she wondered how on earth this had happened to her. Was she that much of a bad person?

It didn't take long for her to hear the sound of Lily's voice, calling to her as she hurried down the sandy hills towards the water. She'd changed out of her heels and into a pair of old trainers, which looked strange for her.

"Alicia," Lily gasped, when she saw that her bottom half was wet.

Alicia just shook her head, tears streaming down her face, and mumbled a small apology.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Lily soothed.

She took her coat off and placed it on the sand so that her trousers wouldn't get covered. She sat herself down on the coat and wrapped an arm around Alicia's shoulder.

"What happened?" She asked quietly. "Why are you wet?"

As Alicia began to cry harder, Lily suddenly realised what had happened.

"No," she whispered and shook her head. "No, Alicia. You didn't, did you? Why?"

"I couldn't help it," Alicia sobbed. "I just really wanted everything to be over. Killing myself seemed to be the only way out."

"What stopped you?" She asked.

"You," Alicia whispered. "You're still here, aren't you? You would have been so upset."

"Not just me," Lily whispered back, and removed Alicia's hair out of her face. "Everyone would have been. Your family would have been as well. You have so many people who love you and care about you. The ED wouldn't have been the same without you."

There was a pause and Alicia rested her chin on top of her knees. She felt sick.

"I know that you kissed Iain," Lily mentioned. "And just to let you know that I'm not mad. I was at first, but I know that you didn't mean to. You were just upset, right?"

"I don't love Iain," Alicia cried.

"I know you don't," Lily said and gave her shoulder a gentle rub. "So don't cry because of that, alright? I'm not mad, I promise."

"I just feel like I've let you down," Alicia cried.

"What makes you think that?" Lily asked. "You haven't let me down, Alicia."

"I almost killed myself!" She screamed, her cries echoing in the wind. "Does that not mean anything to you?"

"Almost!" Lily emphasised. "I am so proud of you because you stopped yourself. You've done brilliantly, Alicia. You need to try and tell yourself that."

"I can't," Alicia said. "I do try, but I can't."

"An old counsellor once told me to write down three positive things a day," Lily said. "Keep the notebook by your bed. Read those three things every time you wake up and you'll have a good day."

"Did it work?" Alicia said, sniffing and wiping at her watery eyes.

"It did actually," Lily said. "I'm not saying that it will work for everyone, but why don't you give it a go?"

Alicia nodded and said, "I can try it, I suppose." She managed a small smile and said, "Thanks, Lily. Listen, I...I don't mean to ask this but could we please keep this between us? I don't want to worry anyone else, especially as I...I'm okay."

"That's fine," Lily said. "I wouldn't want to worry Mrs Beauchamp after all that she's been through. We do need to get you into some dry clothes though, alright?"

"Sure," Alicia said and rested her head against Lily's shoulder.

"Hey," she whispered. "Everything is going to be okay, you know? Everything is going to be okay."

I hope you liked the chapter x