Guest: Ahh, I love Amsterdam! Went a couple of years ago. My favourite bit was the Anne Frank house.

Citylightsonthew: Haha, don't worry. Thank you for your review.

Guest: There will be an Alicia and Ethan scene in the next chapter. Thank you for your review.

Guest: Enjoy! Thank you for your review.

Guest: Yes, I saw the article. Wonder where they will take it. Thank you for your review.

Chapter Nineteen

Lily found Alicia outside, shivering as the cold hit every inch of her body.

She didn't look like the old, bouncy, happy Alicia Munroe who Lily had first met. Yes, she had to admit that she'd hated how jolly Alicia had been and how well she'd got on with everyone, but after everything that had happened she realised how much she missed that side of her. Alicia was not the kind of person to get depressed, she was not the kind of person to be brought down easily, and seeing her down and miserable was a very rare sight.

"Alicia," Lily made sure to keep her voice soft and quiet, so that she didn't frighten the poor junior doctor.

Alicia slowly lifted her head and Lily saw that her eyes were filled with tears. She sighed sympathetically and went to sit beside her on the bench. As she put an arm around her, Alicia flinched and moved her body away. Lily's heart broke in two. Alicia had become so scared of everyone around her because of some cruel and disgusting man, and she still couldn't help but blame herself. She should have reported him when she had the chance.

"I'd understand if you hate me," Lily said, without even explaining anything.

Alicia frowned at her in confusion and shook her head.

"Why would I hate you?" She asked. "I'm sorry. It's not just you, the thought of any human contact of any kind just makes me feel physically sick."

"I'm not talking about that," Lily said. "I shouldn't have gone to touch you."

"Then what are you talking about?" Alicia questioned, keeping herself at a safe distance from Lily.

Lily gulped anxiously and ran her hands through her hair. Sweat soaked her forehead and her heart began to beat fast inside her chest. Maybe she should have taken up the offer of having Connie or Iain there with her. Things might have been easier.

"Lily?" Alicia spoke again.

"That man," Lily said. "The one who you identified at the station, was he really the one who hurt you?"

Alicia had to think about that for a second, as if it was a trick question. She was pretty certain, he had some distinctive features that were hard to miss and seeing him standing there behind the glass caused so many horrible memories to flood her brain, memories that she didn't want to think about.

"Definitely," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because..." Lily sighed and there was a five second pause before she continued. "He was the man who raped me when I was younger."

Alicia didn't speak and neither did Lily. Both of them seemed just as shocked as the other. People always said that it was a small world, but this was just a whole new level of small.

"Why would I hate you?" Alicia then asked.

Her kind and gentle tone pleased but surprised Lily.

"Because it's my fault," Lily said.

"Lily, no!" Alicia snapped. "Don't say that."

"I should have reported it though," Lily told her.

"It doesn't matter." Alicia shook her head. "It's not your fault. Just...Why didn't you tell me at the station? Was that why you left?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I was scared," she whispered. "I was scared that you would hate me. I just...I never thought that it would be the same person, and...I blamed myself. I still do."

"It's happened now, hasn't it?" Alicia said. "Besides, reporting it might not have stopped it from happening. I'm a horrible person, so I deserved this."

"What makes you say that?" Lily asked.

"I was horrible to you," Alicia said.

"Because I practically bullied you out of a job," Lily said. "That's in the past though."

"But then I wrote that stupid blog," Alicia said. "Ethan's right. I'm not a good person to be around."

"Don't listen to any of that," Lily said. "Besides," she added with a smile. "Ethan's okay now, right? Didn't he say that he was going to treat you to a meal."

Alicia nodded.

"You're too hard on yourself," Lily whispered.

Alicia nodded again and quickly wiped away her tears that had started to roll down her cheeks.

"Hey, come here," Lily whispered, but then quickly remembered. "Can I give you a hug?"

She looked terrified, but she managed a small nod. She slowly scooted her body along the bench towards Lily, and Lily gently wrapped her arms around her. She felt as if she'd lost weight, and she was still shivering. Lily wished that she could do something more to take the pain away.

"I just don't want to be here anymore," Alicia sobbed into her blouse.

"Yes you do," Lily sighed, as she gently rubbed her back.

"Really?" Alicia scoffed. "And what makes you say that?"

"If you really didn't want to be here, then you wouldn't have called me whilst you were at the beach," Lily said. "You're stronger than you think, you know? And I know it may not seem like it right now, but things will get better for you. One day you are going to be running a hospital, married to the love of your life with beautiful children, and you won't even think of looking back on this time of your life."

"Didn't you say though that this sort of thing always stays with you?" Alicia asked.

"It does, I won't deny that," Lily said. "But it gets easier. You will always have bad days but as long as you surround yourself with people you love and as long as you stay strong and brave, then everything will turn out right in the end. I promise."

"Okay," she sobbed out and looked at her watch. "I need to head back to work."

"I don't think Mrs Beauchamp will want you to work in this state," Lily said. "Iain and I might go out for a meal tonight. Did you want to join us?"

"Really?" Alicia asked. "Isn't it your date night or something?"

"We'll have plenty of date nights," Lily said. "You need cheering up."

"Thanks," Alicia said, managing a very faint and wobbly smile. "Where are we going?"

"Iain fancied Italian," Lily said. "Is that okay with you?"

"That's fine," Alicia said. "Thanks, Lily. You're a really good friend. I guess it's easier to just talk about stuff to someone who's actually been through the same stuff, right?"

"Right," Lily agreed. "You know where I am if you ever need a chat or a sob, even if it's at two in the morning and you've just had a nightmare."

"Can I ask you something?" Alicia asked, and Lily nodded. "Will you be able to come to the court case with me? I'm really scared. Mrs Beauchamp and Elle said that they would come, and I'm not sure about Ethan, but I would really like you to be there as well."

"Yes, of course," Lily said. "Like I said, I'm always here for you. I'm not going to leave you alone in this."

A nice friendly scene there!

There will be a Ethan and Alicia scene in the next chapter, and a scene based around Alicia at work. I hope you're all enjoying the story. I'm not quite sure where Casualty is going to take this storyline but it should be interesting to see. Let me know what you think x