Citylightsonthew: Thank you so much. It's definitely best to wait until after the trial. Thank you for your review.
Guest: It was a great episode and the Summer trailer looks really good as well. Thank you for your review.
Guest: Enjoy the chapter! Thank you for your review.
Guest: Aww, I'm really sorry to keep you waiting. I have a full time job, other stories on the go, a boyfriend, and this week has just been crazy! I hope it's worth the wait. Thank you for your review.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Alicia sprinted across the sandy beach of Holby.
Once again, she had no idea where she was running to, but it seemed to calm her at least. As every bit of energy suddenly drained out of her body, she fell to her knees and clutched at her chest with her hands. The wind scraped across her cheeks, and she found it incredibly hard to breathe.
"Alicia!"
She turned her body to look over her shoulder, and saw Lily hurrying towards her. She looked immaculate as usual, with her black dress and her heels. Alicia wished that she could look that good.
"Hey," Lily whispered and threw herself to the sand in front of Alicia. "Take some deep breaths for me. You can do it."
Alicia shook her head, and began to cry. She couldn't do it. The thought of standing up in court and giving evidence absolutely terrified her. What if the man was seen as innocent? What if he got revenge? What if he went to prison but managed to escape? So many horrible thoughts whirled around her brain and made her feel physically sick.
"You've done this before, Alicia," Lily said gently. "You know that it finishes soon. Just keep breathing. It's okay to feel like this, alright? Trust me."
Lily rubbed Alicia's arms gently and waited patiently until she'd calmed down enough to talk.
"I can't do it," Alicia said. "I...I shouldn't have told anyone. I don't want to do this anymore."
"Alicia, this is crazy talk," Lily told her. "This monster deserves to be locked up. He hurt me, he hurt you, so what's stopping him from hurting anyone else? Jail, that's what. And the only way he'll get that is for you to tell the truth. I know that it's scary, but I guarantee that you will feel a lot better afterwards."
"Will I?" She whispered, a hand still on her chest.
"I actually admire you, you know?" Lily sighed. "You've done well to report this. I just had to live with it, and I completely regret that. You don't realise how brave you've been. You're amazing."
"I don't know about that," Alicia said with a sigh. "I just feel so scared. I thought I was okay, I thought I was getting better, but I'm just lying to myself. I don't want it in my head anymore, Lily."
"I know you don't," Lily said. "Sometimes it feels better to pretend that you're okay, but it's not the right way to go about it. You need to talk to people, admit to yourself that you're feeling low. It's nothing to be ashamed of, Alicia. You've done nothing wrong here. Unfortunately, this is something that will always be in your head, but getting that monster sent to jail will at least help."
"He won't be there forever though, will he?" Alicia said.
"Maybe not." Lily shrugged her shoulders. "No one can predict the future. For now though, it's important to live in the present and he'll be locked away for a good number of years." She reached out and gave Alicia's hand a comforting squeeze. "If you get scared, just look at me. I'll look after you."
"Thank you, Lily," Alicia said.
"Can I ask you something though?" Lily said, and Alicia nodded. "Last time you were at the beach, you tried to kill yourself. Were you planning on trying again?"
Alicia gulped anxiously, before slowly nodding her head.
"Sorry," she whispered.
"You have nothing to apologise for," Lily sighed. "Let's head back though, huh? I'm not going to say anything to Mrs Beauchamp, don't worry."
Alicia mouthed a small 'thank you' and allowed Lily to help her to her feet. The two of them walked back in silence, arm in arm, with Alicia resting her head weakly against Lily's shoulder. She always felt so tired after a panic attack, which was understandable, so Lily decided not to talk to her unless it was absolutely necessary. She needed to save her energy for the trial.
"Is everything okay?" Connie asked, when they were back.
"Fine," Lily replied. "We had a talk."
"Yeah," Alicia agreed. "I...I think I'm ready now."
Connie and Elle exchanged glances and nodded at Alicia, before leading her inside. Alicia took a deep breath and looked back to check if Lily was still there, quickly grabbing hold of her hand when she saw that she was. She didn't want her to go anywhere. She wanted to make sure that she was in the room, to know exactly where she was sitting so that she could look at her if she needed to. She wanted to do everything that she possibly could to make herself feel safe and comfortable.
"You'll be okay," Lily told her, before she was forced to go and take her seat with Connie and Elle. "She will be okay, won't she?" She said to Connie, as soon as they'd walked away from Alicia.
"Of course she will be," Connie said and wrapped an arm around Lily. "And you will be as well. If you need to talk or if you need some fresh air at all though, squeeze my hand or tap my shoulder and the two of us will leave the room for a bit."
"Thank you Mrs Beauchamp, but that won't be necessary," Lily said. "I have to be here for Alicia, don't I?"
"But you need people there for you as well," Connie said. "And this trial is going to be just as hard on you as it is on Alicia."
Lily faintly nodded and glanced across at the entrance where they were bringing him in. Seeing his face caused her chest to tighten again, and a small tear rolled down one side of her face. Connie pulled her in for a hug and stroked her hair comfortingly, allowing her to cry silently into her shoulder.
"Outside," she said. "Please. Come on. You're killing me here."
"No, Mrs Beauchamp, no," Lily whispered, shaking her head firmly.
"Call me Connie for crying out loud," Connie hissed. "And I would like you to step outside with me. You need some air."
"I'm fine," she insisted. "The trial will start soon. I promised Alicia that I'd be here. What if she looks over and doesn't see me, huh? Then what? I can't break a promise to a friend."
Connie sighed and shook her head. She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips together, trying to find the right words.
"Fine," she eventually said, knowing that there was no way in changing Lily's mind.
In a way, it was nice that she cared so much for Alicia.
"But please tell me if it gets too much," Connie said. "Do you promise?"
"Sure," Lily agreed, her fingers crossed behind her back. "I promise."
"Hey. Can I sit here?"
Iain gestured to the empty seat beside Ethan, a coffee in his hand. Ethan looked up from his lunch and faintly nodded at the paramedic, allowing him to slouch down into the chair.
"Thinking about Alicia, huh?" Iain sighed. "Me too. I'm sure she's fine though. She has people who will look after her."
"I know," Ethan sighed back. "I just hope he goes to jail for a very, very long time."
"They can't let him get away with this," Iain said. "Surely they'll find him guilty, right? Surely."
Ethan shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know. He might not have had any other convictions."
"Well, he hurt Lily," Iain said, taking a nervous sip of his coffee.
"What?" Ethan frowned at him, confused. "When?"
"Years ago, when she was a teenager," Iain said. "Sorry, I thought you know. Lily didn't report it, but..."
"So, this is her fault?" Ethan asked. "If Lily never reported it in the first place, then this guy's probably going to get away with it all!"
His voice was now raised, and Iain was angry at the fact that he was trying to plaster the blame on Lily.
"This isn't Lily's fault," she said. "And he might not get away with it! Rape is rape at the end of the day, Ethan. What's done is done, so I very much doubt they'll let him walk away. They can't."
"Why didn't Lily report it?" He asked.
"She didn't want to," Iain said. "It was her choice, Ethan. She was young and she had no idea that she'd grow up to know someone who was also hurt by him. She didn't know what was going to happen."
"Surely she would have thought about that," he said. "Surely she would have known that he'd try and hurt other women or young girls."
"It was years ago, okay?" Iain took another sip of his drink. "You can't change the past, and don't you dare talk to her about this either. It isn't her fault, and who knows what's going to happen at this trial today? The fact that Lily was raped as well, by the same man, means that today will be just as difficult for her as well. Think about that for a second, alright? The last thing she needs is her best friend having a go at her. You don't know how much you mean to her."
"What do you mean?" Ethan asked.
"Come on, mate," he scoffed. "I'm her boyfriend. She's practically told me everything. You were once her only friend, the only person who she could actually talk to and the only person who really understood her. She'd be crushed if she hears you talking like this."
"Sorry," he sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. "I care about Lily, I do. I care about Alicia as well though."
"I get that," Iain said. "But we can't go and plaster the blame on other people."
Ethan nodded and glanced at his watch. "When do you think the trial will be over?"
"It will probably go on for a while," Iain said. "Just keep your phone on you, okay? Alicia will text when she has the chance, I'm sure."
"I hope so," Ethan sighed. "Thanks by the way."
"What are you thanking me for?" Iain asked.
"It just felt nice to talk about my concerns," Ethan said. "I don't like to worry Alicia. She's going through enough."
"Well, I'm always here if you need me," Iain said. "Boys have to stick together, right?"
This was probably one of my favourite chapters to write, so I hope you all enjoyed it. Have you all seen the Summer trailer? What do you think? Looks like Alicia's storyline will only get more emotional, but it does look good as well. Chelsea is doing a brilliant job so far.
I have got another account on this site by the way, if you were interested. I created it a while back for personal reasons, and because of a few issues that were happening with this account. I won't go into it, but you're more than welcome to follow my new account as well if you liked my stories. Thanks for your lovely feedback so far x