?

Walking through a dense and dreary forest wasn't really making me happy, namely because I had to resist my temptations here. You can't put someone like me in a forest, and tell me not to burn the thing down. Luna knew exactly who she was asking, and I hated how she liked to torture even the pokemon who diligently work for her. She knows damn well I'm a pyromaniac, and yet, she sends me here… a forest of all places, and tells me that I can't burn a single tree. That's just… torture.

Regardless, it's not like I could really refuse, her being my boss and all. I just had to suck up my need to burn down this entire place and keep walking through it, and continue on with what I was assigned to do. I wasn't alone here though, by my side, I had a mindless shell of a mawile. I had been entrusted to command anything to this mawile in order to assist me in completing what it was I was going to do, though I didn't really need it. If anything, I just wanted to send this mawile in so I don't have to worry about spreading fire. She doesn't even need this place… the only reason she's restricting me is to make my life harder… I sighed.

A bit of a gentle breeze blew by me, rustling all of the fallen leaves coming from the many trees and sending them into a spiral. I was honestly surprised most of these trees still had leaves, the weather being cooler and all, but hey, I didn't care much for them either way. I didn't really like the feeling or sound of leaves being crunched under my feet, but I could deal with it. Not like I had too short a temper. Not too short. I'm not patient though.

The forest increased in density as I went further, that was, until I found a rather large mountain-like structure in the middle of it. The obstruction was very tall, but seemed to be easily climbable, with a nice path carved in the side of it for that very purpose. I took a second and felt the gargantuan rock, which looked a little different from the many other stones and the like scattered around this forest. I found it odd that there were any rocks here at all, but it's not like I made the place, and it's not like I cared much about it anyway. Then again… Can I use this mountain to make everything easier..?

I decided to test my luck and began to make my way up the mountain that was presented before me. The path was rough, as was the rock itself, which made the trek not so pleasant at points, especially since I didn't enjoy rocks too much, but it wasn't enough to stop me from possibly eliminating all effort I needed to put into my task. I wasn't lazy per se, but I certainly liked to do whatever I could to lessen my workload, especially since it came from someone like Luna. She liked to, not overwork us, but make sure whatever she had us do was as annoying as physically possible. Such as, stick a pyromaniac in a freakin' forest and ask her to not burn the thing down. Don't know how much longer I can resist this…

I continued up the mountain, despite my feet beginning to yell at me for walking on such rocky terrain. As I was scaling, the path didn't seem to get any wider, but began thinning out as I went higher and higher. It was nothing that would prevent me from continuing, but I did notice that the whole thing didn't look natural. This was definitely morphed by someone else to make it easier for someone to climb it. Not that I was complaining, just something I took note of while climbing whatever this mountainous area was. I looked back at the discolored mawile following close to me, and watched as he crushed every rock that he stepped on, in comparison to my feet aching in pain with every single one. Lucky steel type…

After a decent while of painful walking, we reached a point where we were above even the tallest trees, which created a nice view I must say, especially when looking at the sky behind the amassed trees in the vivid forest, it was a beauty for sure. But… it also made me want to toss a giant ball of fire downwards, do I quickly turned away and continued up as far as what seemed to be the sky. I better be able to do what I need to from here… Otherwise I'm going to be reeaalll grumpy on the way down…

Much more time passed, and I finally arrived at the summit of this large rocky mountain in the middle of a forest. I was immediately greeted by the bright sun, looking much larger now that I was up in the clouds as opposed to on the ground. I wanted to look back down to the forest, but afraid to give into my temptations, I held off. The summit itself was rather rough all around, no part of the ground up here was smooth, the whole thing just consisted of small pointed rocks, ones that really did hurt my feet with every step. Through my grunts of walking around, I realized that the summit had quite a large bit of excess space, even if none of it had any bit of smoothness to it. It's not like I needed to use this space though, so I didn't have to worry about the rough texture that was the rocky ground. Along the small, pointed pats of the summit, there were much larger ones, also pointed, but too big to step on, thank Arceus.

I walked over to one of the large rocks, and sat down beside it, leaning my back into the hard surface. Was it comfortable? No. But it was better than walking around on something that made my feet want to bleed. After taking a moment to recover from what felt like a painful trek up this mountain, I looked towards the edge, in the direction of my destination. I closed my eyes and took a breath, creating a small purple and blue orb on one of my hands, and sending it off the side of the mountain. I patiently waited for a few moments, and eventually, the orb made it to the air above where I was to go for my task. I focused myself, staring at the back of my eyelids until my sight changed from that of darkness, to that of a view above the forest once more. Only this time, I could clearly see a group of pokemon walking around in between trees that were a small bit separated when compared to the rest of the forest.

The group had a large number of pokemon, with no real structures to take note of, other than a large cave-like thing in the back end of it, and small sleeping bags of sorts made from cloth, but that's not really a structure, just the only thing that wasn't natural there. A few of the pokemon were conversing, and others were just resting calmly. It was much more of a peaceful sight than I expected, after hearing that we had a target here at the moment. At least, there was supposed to be a target here. Another thing about Luna, she liked to gamble. Everything was a game to her, and that includes missions that are actually very important in the grand scheme of things. There was supposed to be an umbreon here, but he wasn't just supposed to be here, he was supposed to be locked up here somewhere. (Explain the plan)

I sighed to myself. Instead of giving us a direct location he would be in, she came up with a stupidly complicated plan to spread information about the Void attacking a place that happened to greatly dislike dark types, and banking on the fact that this umbreon would be close to the area at the time, thanks to the work of the Void members we have stationed at the Nest. after he happened to be close to this place, she sent me here to "attack" it. By attack, I mean just come close to the area so I'm registered as a threat, and then make it so the umbreon was forced to come to this place, since it was close to his current location. Now, this would all be fine and dandy for me, if it weren't for the fact that the umbreon was traveling with a partner, who very well could be sent here with, or instead of said umbreon. If they were together, then there's a high chance they would prevent the umbreon from being captured, and if the partner was sent instead, then this whole thing was pointless in the first place!

I started to lose focus of my orb and quickly stopped thinking about Luna's ridiculous ways of accomplishing goals. I mean… why take risks like this when this whole thing can just be over by fabricating a mission for them to complete, and then taking him off-guard there? Right… It's a game to her… there's no such thing as taking the easy way out… I wanted more than ever to burn down the forest surrounding this mountain again, but I suppose that I needed to hold myself back. Either that, or get punished by Luna… Rather suppress my urges.

I re-focused myself onto observing this small civilization of sorts, but seeing as there was no umbreon there, I began to feel annoyed at the possibility that I came all the way out here for nothing. I swear… I really don't want to blow a blood vessel… I decided to camouflage my floating orb with its surroundings, a handy trick when I wanted to check something out from afar. I took a breath, moving the orb closer to the ground, and entering the cave-like structure that was present there. As my vision extended to the cave, it was a bit different than I was expecting. On the light gray, rocky walls, there were a few flags hanging, colored green and on either side of a big rock attached to the wall that almost looked out of place. This repeated a few times around the walls of this cave, and each one looked almost like an entrance.

I was about to head down there myself to investigate further, but two other pokemon entered the cave right as I was observing. Those two pokemon were a golem, and an umbreon that they happened to be holding, seemingly unconscious. I nearly lost focus on my orb and clenched my hand hard. You're joking...She was right… I couldn't tell if Luna was a genius or the luckiest pokemon on the planet to be honest. I watched as the golem walked to one of the awkwardly positioned rocks, knocking on it a few times. Seconds passed, and then the rock bagan to move itself to the side without any physical contact, probably from a psychic that was out of sight. I didn't catch sight of the inside, but I saw the golem toss the umbreon in there without much concern for his safety.

Now that I knew the position of said umbreon, I decided to pull myself out of the interior of the cave for a second, and look at the mawile that had come with me here. Wonder if I can take you for a test run…

I cleared my throat, excited to see if this would actually work. "Go after the target." I said loudly and clearly. The mawile wordlessly turned around, facing where our destination was to be. I held a hand up, aimed at the back of the mawile, and sent a calm, psychic wave, bestowing him the knowledge of where the target was. Without saying a word, the mawile leapt off of the mountain, heading in the direction of our destination, and our target. I heard rocks proceed to get torn off of the mountain, presumably from the mawile sliding down the giant thing. Really wish they gave me a name for him other than 'metal face' courtesy of Grace.

I closed my eyes again, going back to the sight of my orb. I moved it out of the cave, and back into the sky above the whole place. Now when he gets there, hopefully the town members don't do any interfering. They hate fairies too after all… if they get in his way, he'll probably kill them. Not that I mind of course.

All that matters is that we get that umbreon, and then I get my reward.

Shine

What… Have I gotten myself… Into…?

I slowly but surely walked my way through Myriad, having these… painfully heavy weights right above all four of my paws. Each step felt like I was trying to lift another pokemon, and they just got heavier and heavier as I walked more. I was happy and all that I had a place like Myriad, a place I knew the layout of, to walk around with these things, but that didn't make it any less painful. I'm… going to make sure… I get her back…

Originally, these things were to be lighter, but a certain sylveon I met recently made sure that I wasn't getting a break of any kind, so she replaced the old ones I wanted to use with weights that nearly doubled the original amount. Of course, after she pled with me that this was a better option, I eventually gave in, but that was such a huge mistake… I felt like my paws were about to collapse with every step. Why… Why did I let you talk me into this… Crescent..?

Luckily, I was getting close to where I needed to be, so I was getting closer and closer to removing these things from my body. I couldn't handle this for much longer, no matter how good she was at healing my limbs when they're tired like that. I just wanted to reach the orphanage I came from as soon as possible, so I could tell Cyan what I needed to. As hard as It's gonna be…

I made a decision recently. Not one that I thought would ever be in my mind anytime soon, but since it presented itself, I couldn't really turn it away. Not without my mental state slowly deteriorating. It wasn't a secret to anyone that I was losing it more and more as time went on. Especially not to Cyan. He knew more than anyone that I was slowly going insane, as much as I tried to hide it. I didn't want him to worry about me, he already had enough on his plate when it came to watching over all of us there, me losing my mind wasn't going to help him any. Then again… I don't think this will be too much better in the long run…

I dragged my feet along the grounds of Myriad until I made it back to the orphanage I've called home for a long time now. I stood in front of the small building, nowhere near the size or polish as the ones surrounding it. And yet, I loved it more than any other building here. It's kind of odd really, at first, I admired every other building more than I can describe, loving how beautiful they all looked, but that sentiment left me pretty quickly, being replaced by the home-like atmosphere that I had at the orphanage with Cyan and my siblings. Nothing could replace that, not now, not ever. Ugh… Thinking about this stuff is just going to make this that much harder…

I sucked in a quick gulp of air, and moved my head down to take off the daunting weights that I've been wearing for far too long. As soon as they left my paws, I felt immense relief wash over me. My body suddenly felt like it had the mass of a caterpie, which I supposed was the purpose of this in the first place, though I still think Crescent overdid it. I stretched my sore limbs, and slowly walked into the front of my home, a sight I've seen many times since I made the transition here. And it hasn't changed one bit… I felt a tug at the upper parts of my mouth, but it didn't quite escalate to a smile. I still hadn't smiled since the news came out, though I didn't think about that too much. I knew that I was on my way to becoming a husk, but I hoped that I would find someway to fix it before I went too far. Hopefully I did…

After standing at the entrance to the orphanage for a decent bit of time, I wandered further, getting to a door that I've walked through many times in the past. I slowly but surely entered, seeing a wide room, a shelf stretched over most of the walls, containing gifts that my siblings made for one another. None of them were in the room though, despite the fact it was still pretty early in the morning. They must have been sleeping in, which wasn't too uncommon for them, even before we got the news. On the ground, in the center of the room, Cyan was cleaning up a few of the various nicknacks on the ground, probably left there on accident by some of the others. His head slowly turned to me, staring at him, feeling nervous. It wasn't hard to tell when I wasn't comfortable, or I was scared about something, and I knew that Cyan could always tell, no matter what.

And yet, he just gave me the same kind smile he always had.

"Welcome back Shine!" He greeted cheerfully. I could tell that he was an awkward pokemon a lot, especially when he tried talking to all of us as a group, but he always had a very friendly, warm tone to his words. "How was your time out?" Luckily, he didn't see my back, which still had a pretty visible slash on it from when I left. He didn't even question the fact that I was gone for the night, as I've done that a few times before and always come back safely.

"I-It was okay, like usual." I told him, my mind going all over the place.

"Ah, I see. It's good to see you back here though! I'm glad that you're okay!" Cyan's positivity made me shudder. He knew… He knew how bad of a spot I've been in for a decent while, and yet, he still kept that vibe about him, which I appreciated, but it was making me feel… less and less confident. I coughed a few times before saying anything, my sickness still not really going away.

"H-Hey, Cyan… I…" Coughed again. "I-I…" Couldn't find the will to keep talking. It was difficult to word something like this, more than I could describe. Not even to word it… just to say it. This wasn't easy… nor did I think I could even go through with it, so I ended up putting my head towards the ground.

I felt a soft sensation on my head, slowly moving up and down it, in between my ears. "Don't force yourself to talk Shine. It's bad for you." He told me soothingly. I bit my lip, not knowing what to do. I had to keep on talking… but I couldn't get the words out. I had to tell him… but my voice stopped working.

I took in a breath, ready to try and talk again, but all that came out was a cough, followed by two more coughs after that. Come on body… "I-I have something… important to tell you." I managed to get out in a low and scratchy voice.

Cyan continued petting my head gently. "What's up Shine?"

I coughed again. "I… made a decision yesterday." My breathing wasn't really stable, and I couldn't tell if that was the exhaustion from the weights, or my nervousness speaking up. "You know I've been… n-not good recently, and I didn't know how to fix it at all. But… I-I think I found something."

Cyan looked a little intrigued by my words. "Really? That's great Shine!" She exclaimed. I just bit my lip. He had no idea what I found, or what it involved me doing in the end. I had no idea what his reaction would be when I explained all of it, so I hesitated more. "What did you find?"

"S-Something to work towards." I said very quietly. I really didn't want to elaborate… but I knew that I needed to. I had to right here, right now, so I took in another breath, coughing a few more times. "C-Cyan, I-I think I... " My teeth squeezed the lower part of my mouth. How do I even say it..? After he's given us so much… How..?

Without giving me a chance to really compose myself, Cyan lowered his head so he was eye-level with me. He held a calm, thoughtful expression, and a smile on his face. "Do you want to leave?" He calmly asked.

I was dumbfounded for a moment. He knew exactly what I was getting at, even though I didn't have any idea how to get the thoughts out with my voice. I wanted to ask him what gave it away, but I started to get choked up. My mind had been a pretty blank slate for a long time, so I hadn't been expressing myself too much. Because of that, I felt an unwelcome amount of buildup in my mind begin to leak out. I coughed a few more times, trying to resist tears, with a small bit of success. "I-I don't want to, b-but, I can't do anything h-here." I closed my eyes, further trying my best to stop myself from crying.

Cyan gave me a nod. "I know how you feel. There's not too much for you here, especially with everything that's happened. You feel stuck, don't you? Like you're just in an endless loop, with nowhere to go, and nothing to focus on, right?" I returned Cyan's previous gesture weakly. He described exactly how I'm feeling…

"H-How did you know?" My voice was even more weak and scratchy than normal.

Cyan held his gentle smile. "You're not a hard pokemon to read Shine. I've known you for a while now, you and everyone else. I can tell when you're bothered, and based on what you do, I can tell how much you've been hurting. It takes a lot to bring someone as optimistic and cheerful as you down to what you have been as of late you know. Although, it may have matured you a lot, at the same time, it's not hard to tell that you're holding back." Not for you… or Crescent for that matter…

I always thought I did a good job making it seem like I wasn't upset. Not that I was happy at all, but that I wasn't upset at least, but since two pokemon saw through me just like that, it was clear that I could have done better. Especially since one of them didn't even know who I was at the time. I know I was… not well, but I still didn't want anyone to know that. It was no use worrying about me if I had no idea what to do to make things better after all. I might know now though… I hope I do.

I took a shaky breath and coughed again. I should have known that Cyan knew how I felt really, but I wasn't paying too much attention to these kinds of things lately, I was too busy just.. Mourning. That's all I did, nothing else for the longest time. That was probably enough of a give away on its own, but I couldn't realize that. I couldn't even think about anything… I was stuck. Thinking about he was watching over me, and how he knew the whole time… it shattered whatever wall I had still in front of my emotions.

I put my head down and began to lightly sob, the first emotion I really showed to anyone after I got the news. My sobbing slowly increased in volume as time went on, and I completely lost control of myself, almost toppling to the ground. This wasn't even an intense conversation, I didn't even say that I was going to leave yet, and my mind couldn't handle it. I felt Cyan gently wraps his two arms around me, probably feeling a bit awkward because I didn't match up to his size at all. I kept on crying, unable to hold back. I was already fragile before all of this, barely in my teenage years, and yet, there went the entire family I found at that old camp… all gone. I had never been sensitive at all, but that event… it just killed me. I was so happy with my everyday life, so pleased with it, and yet, that happiness was able to be ripped away in an instant. From always looking forward to the next day, straight to dreading every second that went by.

Now though… I was just at an impasse. What could I do..? Was it really the right choice to take a huge risk and leave..? As much as it seemed like the right way to go, nothing was set in stone. I could just be walking into another storm of misfortune for all I knew, but at this point, I was willing to do anything to get better. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life as… this. Not at all, I just had no idea at all how I could fix it, so I was willing to take risks. I was okay with it though, as, even in Myriad, I got myself severely injured just by trying to be a decent pokemon, so how much more unlucky than that could I get?

I felt the fur all around my face moisten with each falling tear, though I was beginning to calm down. Cyan being here to comfort me helped a lot for sure, just having somebody here to support me was more than comforting for my mind, even if I was here to tell him that we probably wouldn't see each other for a long while, all that mattered was the current moment. This was the first time in a long while I was actually… well, feeling something other than emptiness and pain, both physical and mental. I felt comfortable in a way, okay with releasing all of my built up emotions at once. I had to wait until I had someone to vent them to, doing it on my own was dangerous, considering my mental state. I may have been crying my eyes out, but I was the closest to happy I have been since the news, only because I knew I had someone here to care for me. I knew that the whole time, but since I was on the verge of losing it completely, I couldn't focus on it. I needed it to be shoved into my face forcefully, and that's what Cyan was doing. It hurts… but it's relieving…

Some more time was spent crying, but I began to calm down again. My eyes were going to be swollen, and my face all wet with tears, but it was worth it. I didn't feel like I was about to become an empty shell of a pokemon at any second. I was still upset, and wasn't magically cured or anything, but I sure felt a lot better, and I was actually calm. I stayed leaning against Cyan for a bit, letting myself breathe, letting myself calm down. My tears eventually stopped falling, and I was now just lightly breathing, feeling relaxed, not nearly as heavy as before. After a few minutes passed, I pulled my head away, and Cyan was smiling at me brightly, as if that hadn't just happened.

"You know that if you need to leave I'll support you Shine. Just like I did here, it's my job after all." I nodded to him. "That being said, no need to be a stranger! I have no idea what you're really up to, or how busy you'll be, but it sounds like this will be good for you. It would still be nice to see you every once in a while." I coughed a few times, and finally let a smile form on my face.

I really regretted my lack of self-care over since I got the news, but now wasn't the time to think about how much I bullied myself. I didn't really know what to say to Cyan though. Nothing came into my head, even if my thoughts were still clouded, I needed to say something to him before just leaving, but I couldn't think of much, other than one thing that is. "Thank you." I bowed my head.

He just pet me again and chuckled. I was still smiling, happy that this just happened. It was much better than the scenario I had in my head when it came to this, that's for sure, so I was more than happy with it. As much as I don't want to leave… This conversation couldn't have gone much better.

"So, are you off for now?" Cyan stood back up, smiling down at me.

I returned his smile. "I guess so. It's probably best that I don't take too long, so I suppose I should be on my way."

He nodded towards me. "Sounds good Shine. Good luck out there! And make sure to stay safe!"

"I promise that I won't be gone forever!" I closed my eyes and tried to smile as brightly as I could at him. It wasn't forced like I thought it would have to be though. It was a natural smile, one that I didn't think I would get back anytime soon. "Goodbye!" I bowed my head and Cyan waved me off.

I turned around and went back to the entrance of what was now my old home. This is the second time I have to change where I live… hopefully wherever I'm going won't lead to anything similar to what happened at the other two. Once I made it to the front door, I observed the same exact sight that I did on my way in, and was able to naturally smile this time. I bowed my head down towards the rest of the rather small building. Goodbye… all of you. I'm coming back though! And I won't be an emotionless tank!

I walked out of the door, leaving the orphanage behind temporarily.

Hello Readers!

Really late chapter this time, I apologize for that, but what I mentioned last chapter is still going on, and despite its slow and steady improvement, the situation still requires most of attention at nearly all times of the day, so I hope you understand! I know things have gotten a little slow, but I promise I'm not giving up on this story. I think about it way too much to give up on it. Plus… I've spent waaaaay too much time working on it to just leave it hanging. :P

I want to give my usual thanks to everyone who has sent me a PM, a review or otherwise, though I haven't gotten one in a long while, it makes sense because of my inconsistent activity on the site. I appreciate all messages and reviews greatly though! Thank you to my beta reader for not holding my many typos against me! (8-BitUmbreon)

See You Next Chapter!