Naru

The distant sounds of the Nest, when laying in a field away from everything, they never really changed. A lot of chatter, some occasional loud yelps and the distinct crack of an attack being launched at someone for training, all of it always sounded the same. I didn't hear them too often though, usually drowned out by the voices of the two other wonderful pokemon I lived with, or someone else I was communicating with. I was always talking, I loved just expressing myself to everyone, which is odd, considering how I was back in Myriad, but perhaps that's why I'm so into it now. I was never able to socialize, and now that I can, I make the most of it.

I should get going.

I flipped from my back to my stomach on the ground heavily, and slowly pushed up with my legs, standing on all fours. After a pause and a stretch, I turned in the other direction and began walking through the beast that was the Nest, aiming to meet up with Shard for training. I haven't gone in a few days, but she hasn't scolded me for it. I couldn't avoid doing anything forever though, despite how little motivation I really had, I couldn't lose all of the progress I've made over the near three months spent here, I worked way too hard to get to where I am now to just let it slip away because of something as silly as not feeling motivated.

I dragged my four paws across the shop area of the Nest, the most populated portion to my knowledge. It made sense after all, this was the only place that literally everyone had some amount of reason to go to, even if it was as simple as to get some food for the week. I knew that I found myself here quite often, though more because anyone I got into a conversation with was always in this vicinity. As well as a store, it was also just a common place to interact with one another. I liked it here quite a bit, but this wasn't where I wanted to be right now.

I dragged myself through the shopping district of the Nest, and continued on to my destination. Since I had the Nest's layout memorized at this point, it never took me long to get from one place to the next, though today I was sluggish, so it was taking a bit longer than normal. The weather was still cold, I could tell due to the fact I couldn't feel it. I certainly feel hot when it's warm out, but when it's cold, I just feel neutral, which isn't a bad thing, judging by how the others react to really cold weather. I would much rather feel like I physically do now, as opposed to how they all describe it.

…

After a bit of walking, I made it to the field Shard and I usually used for training, but she wasn't present, which was odd. I took a while to look around for her, but she was nowhere to be seen, so I assumed she was out on a mission and unable to work with me today. She would usually tell me if that was the case, but I hadn't shown up for the last two sessions, so it made sense that I was ignorant to her absence. I wondered if I should try a bit of training on my own, but I decided against it, not wanting to injure myself. I was working on some new techniques with her, and they weren't safe just to try alone, so it would be better if I stopped and waited for her to come back for the next one.

I decided to sit down in the center of the small dirt area, just as I was in the field prior. I only sat for a minute or two, and then I fell over on my back, closing my eyes to hide from the sun shrouded in a small clump of clouds. I sighed to myself, and relaxed my body in the dirt, forming itself in my fur under me. I felt it gather between the fibers of it, and Curled one of my paws up against it, accumulating more. The dirt was soft and firm at the same time, and it didn't feel unpleasant to grasp it like I was in the process of doing. As I was settling in with the earth, my mind was blank, empty.

I controlled my breathing, trying to calm myself down as much as possible, trying to keep my mind focused on the prospect of being blank. Trying to fully and completely clear my head. I started to take deep breathes, long and slow ones in an attempt to keep my nerves down and out of my grasp.

I felt a small pressure build up in my throat, but I swallowed it down and went back to breathing, despite my four legs beginning to tremble. I went from laying on my back to my side, and I curled up, eyes still shut tight in an attempt to stay calm. I brought one of my paws to my mouth and bit on it, not hard enough for it to bleed, but enough to where I felt my fangs begin to dig into my body. The notion helped me when I was younger, biting on my paw became an unhealthy habit I had for a long time, but I broke out of it after I had been on my own for a bit. The urge I felt to go back to it was far too strong for me to resist though, and I didn't put much effort forward to do so. It tasted like the literal dirt caked within it, but I didn't really care, I just couldn't stop myself.

The pressure in my throat felt more and more weighted as each second passed, which wasn't helping. I felt like I was about to go into hysterics, but all I let out was a few small whimpers before managing to stop myself. I clenched onto my paw tighter, and felt myself bleed a little, prompting me to stop before I made it worse. I went back to taking heavy breaths, flipping over onto my stomach and planting my head on the ground. I couldn't just blank my thoughts, I learned that the moment my throat began to feel like it had additional weight. Nothing… Nothing works…

I was not in a good emotional state. It was pretty obvious to everyone that I was having a hard time keeping myself sane, despite the methods I tried, nothing made me any better for more than an hour or two. My mind didn't hold still, it was on a fast track all over the place, from possibilities, to doubt, to fear, to hope, and a lack thereof. I couldn't control it, it wasn't possible to keep my head straight with the current situation, neither probable nor possible.

Right when I was informed, as soon as Core told me that we didn't have contact with Kuro, I felt a spike, an awful feeling in my chest, one that nearly knocked me out on the spot. Immediately after, Core managed to talk me down, kept me from losing it on the spot, and proposing all of the different possibilities as to where Kuro could be, and how he's certainly safe. Since I was in such a panic, I bought it back then, but it's evident that the likelihood of him being okay is far, far less than that of him being in danger. Vero reported back everything that happened at that small civilization, from start to finish. The two of them being stuck in a room that emulated a prison cell, to the arrival of the mawile without a consciousness and a strange delphox whose identity is mostly unknown, but highly likely to belong to the Void, considering her control over the mindless mawile.

Then she made it to the end… Kuro was hit with something devastating in order to protect one of the locals from death, and he was taken by the delphox, as the two likely Void members made their leave. Apparently there was also an odd haxorus living there, who Vero said was suspicious, but it was unclear why he acted the way he did. I didn't pay much attention to that part, I was already gone, already too busy thinking about whether Kuro was safe or not. I was comforted by Kage, Vero, Core, Shard, a bunch of Ravens, they all tried to help, and they did briefly. From them, I also made the decision that Charm and Shiro were not to know about this, they were told that Kuro was off on a joint mission from the first one, and that he would come back as soon as it was completed. Luckily the two of them bought into it, despite Shiro putting up a little bit of a fight with questions, but I was able to squeeze my way through answering all of them, albeit not very truthfully. I also had to keep my normal enthusiasm while doing it, which was eons more difficult to accomplish than fabricating what I was saying. While resisting a breakdown, I was told to give it time, and to have faith, to not lose hope in Kuro. I didn't, and I still haven't, not after the first two hours.

Not after the first eight.

Not after a day had passed.

Not after three had passed.

Six days later, I still had hope. I wasn't just going to give up, I knew that Kuro is amazing, and that he would find a way back. I kept on telling myself that, over and over, I made myself recite it more times than I could count, both mentally, and verbally. The more I said it out loud, the more I thought about it, which wasn't doing well for my health. I always thought about what the case would be if he was in possession of the Void, what they would do to him, if he would make it out okay, if he would make it out alive. Getting swamped by every single one of these, it slowly ate away at my emotional state, until I became what I am now.

I didn't know how to describe my current mental state, I wasn't to the point of being too far gone, but I wasn't what you would call stable. I had a hard time focusing, even when it came to talking idly, I had a hard time just having cohesive thoughts, I could barely think. Sometimes, I would feel like I got a little better, I felt like I could improve going forward, and after an hour, that idea washed away instantly. I was back to feeling more anxious than I could describe, I was back to biting on my paw, I was back to not being able to think, everything about my mental state that was bad, I jumped straight back to it.

Not only was I not sure how to describe it, but I didn't know what the biggest thing bothering me was. I had no idea whether it was the possibility of Kuro being not safe, being hurt, being dead, or just… simply not knowing. The fact that I didn't know is what was always present, always stuck right in the forefront of my mind, it was always the first thing I worried about when Kuro popped into my head, not all of the disgusting possibilities, but the fact that I had no idea what was really happening, not even a clue. I hated it, and it slowly but surely ate me from the inside out, I couldn't stand it. Whenever it popped into my head, I wanted to lay down and cry, have a straight up emotional breakdown out of fear alone, but I resisted it every time. I wasn't going to improve if I gave into my emotions like that so I didn't let myself do it, despite how much of a hypocrite I was being.

I grit my teeth and hit my head against the ground once to snap myself out of it. Luckily, I wasn't going to see Shiro or Charm for a little bit, Charm was off to the shack that Kuro first found Shiro in, as he was completing a small task for the Nest, safely, thanks the new security systems there. Shiro was spending some time with Kage, who offered to walk around with her and talk about a bunch of things in order to take some weight off of me. I really didn't want to have to fake my emotions at the moment, so I would be happy to just be by myself in our room. Maybe I would break down and cry, though I made it a point to not do that too often, despite the aforementioned hypocrisy. I'm sorry… I told you not to hold back, and yet here I am, repressing all of my emotions…

I very dryly chuckled to myself. I was self-loathing for having thoughts like that, for wanting to pretend I wasn't losing my head under all of this, even if I was well aware that was the case. It directly goes against everything I've told Kuro, against everything I've told myself even, but I couldn't handle my own brain right now. I was in a partnership, we always leaned on one another for everything. Out of the two of us, I was way more emotionally sound, I was able to accept my sadness, and power through it, expressing myself in the happiest ways I could, through enthusiasm, through cheerfulness, through being positive. That's how I operate, and I was happy with who I became as a pokemon.

Kuro was way less emotionally stable, ever since I met him, that was clear to me. At the very start, he didn't seem as if he was in touch with his emotions, but not long at all after, I saw him on the verge of tears, over nothing but a recollection of past events. He was, and is, far more sensitive than I am. Not that was a bad thing of course, if anything, I thought it was kinda cute, but it was an observation nonetheless. Out of the two of us, I was the emotionally strong one, I covered for him when he needed it. I liked doing that, I liked being able to help him when he needed it, it made me feel special, that I was able to always be there for him. I just wish… I could help him now…

I shook my head and closed my eyes, blanking my mind again. I just need to go back and relax… Stop being stupid Naru, Kuro will be okay, you have faith in him, don't you? So stop being like this!

I still couldn't help but worry.

Charm

I was rummaging through a bunch of cloth and tools, each one clanging against one another as I moved them carefully to the side, lifting dust from the ground with every shift. I coughed again after breathing some of the stuff in, irritating my throat. I was supposed to be here to see if there was anything to salvage, whatever that word means, and take back before the Nest closed the guard in and made it so this counted as being outside. I assumed that I had to look for important stuff, so I did just that, look for anything that looks like it could be useful, and then take it back.

The whole reason I was doing this in the first place is because I couldn't get a new home back in the place I came from, because of some creepy-looking pokemon that I don't know the name of. I wasn't too sad though, because Miss Naru told me I could stay with her, Shiro and Mr. Kuro, and I liked them a lot, so what was there to be sad about? I was far away from where my mom and I last talked, but I'm glad I could be happy here regardless, at least, until we get a chance to actually go back and find a new home for me. Unless they're okay with me staying here?

I didn't like sitting around and doing nothing back at the Nest, so I offered to help in any way I could, and once I did, some weird pokemon with red metal all over his body told me that I would be very helpful if I came here and checked the place out, so I did so, because I just wanted to help! I was helped a bunch thanks to these pokemon, so repaying the favor was the best way I could feel better about it all! Plus, I had to do something for the pokemon that toko me in from a dangerous place! So I was happy to be doing so! Even if I have no idea what I'm doing!

I happily hummed to myself, continuing to mess with all of the random articles of clothing as well as some odd metal cylinders that I hadn't ever seen. In fact, there were a lot of things in here that looked like worn metal, which I assumed wasn't what I was supposed to bring back. Even if I knew I wasn't going to get yelled at or anything, I didn't want to mess up, I really just wanted to help out as best I could, even if I still had next to no idea if I had passed up some hidden treasure in here or something.

I was happy that I was able to stay with Miss Naru and Shiro while someone tried to find a room to seperate us a little bit, I felt much safer around them when i didn't recognize anything around me. This Nest place though, it was really pretty all over, so alive and colorful, I liked it a lot! It was still scary though, even with Shiro helping me learn the area better, I had no idea what to do here, but luckily, her and Miss Naru haven't left my side, and neither of them have stopped their positive attitudes! They made everything here so much easier!

I heard something loud below me suddenly, and my mind blanked for a second, wondering if it was my imagination. I stood completely still, and felt myself tremble a little. I wasn't really sure why though, I was in the Nest, nobody here was going to hurt me, maybe it was just because I was never comfortable meeting new pokemon, but either way, I was suddenly very frightened.

Last time I was scared like this, Miss Naru was able to make me feel a bit more safe, but this is the first time since I met all of them that I was separate, so that wasn't really an option this time. I think it's the same way for Shiro, Mr. Kuro and Miss Naru always seemed to make her happy, and feel safe, just like they did with me. I briefly wondered if Mr. Kuro was okay once he popped into my head, but Miss Naru told me that nothing is wrong, and that he's just on another mission for a bit, so there wasn't anything to be nervous about.

I gulped my fear down and held still for longer, listening to a few small creaks and shuffling. I, once more, decided that it was my imagination, and took a few breaths to calm myself down. If there was someone here, they wouldn't be scary, they would just be a Raven, so there wasn't anything to be so concerned about.

"DAMN IT!"

I fell over on my back from the sudden yelling, one that I didn't expect in the slightest. The voice sounded female, that's the only thing I recognized about it before shaking and slowly pushing myself up. I couldn't stop my trembling legs, but I tried my very best to stay calm, despite the low muttering I heard below me. I couldn't tell what exactly was being said, but there was definitely someone there, if the screech wasn't convincing enough.

I closed my eyes and took slow and easy breaths, still unsure of why I was so terrified to meet new pokemon, even if I knew they were going to be harmless to me. Either way, I couldn't just be a statue by the time they got up to where I was, on the upper floor of the shack, which also had a huge hole in it for some reason. The shuffles and steps sounded as if they were getting farther and farther away, until I couldn't hear them anymore. Are they gone..?

My body began to calm itself down a little, with the possibility that I wouldn't need to meet anyone new. After a second or two, I managed to fully relax again, feeling a gust of wind behind me, coming from the large hole in the upper portion of the shack. I felt the wind brush against me, and it helped my mind ease itself. Whoever that was is gone, now I can calm down… I won't need to meet anyone new… "I wonder what they were doing here though…"

"Doing where?"

My body quickly froze a second time, the voice played again, this time, from what felt like a foot behind me. I stumbled forward and turned around, unsure of what I was going to do about the situation. I spotted a green, fox-like quadruped standing now in front of me, tilting her head in confusion. "Oops, did I scare ya? Sorry about that, can't help myself from messing with pokemon before I k- wait a sec."

What is… happening..? Before she what..? The pokemon I couldn't recognize walked closer to me, and I involuntarily fell back down and stiffened once more. She walked over to me, and stood above me, making me feel as if I were a pebble in front of a mountain. She leaned her head down and looked directly into my eyes, from about an inch away, and I couldn't help but tremble even more then before in the presence of whatever this pokemon was. "You're… well crap. I uh… miscalculated something." She backed off of me and stood by the the opening to the shack once more. "Um… how do I do this again... " She muttered. "I am sorry for scaring you?" she bowed her head down.

I was beyond confused, but she was apologizing, so I assumed that this was just another Raven who accidentally scared me. With that in mind, I gulped. "I-It's okay, you didn't m-mean to." I responded, though a bit quiet. I couldn't really force myself to talk loud, even when I needed to.

The weird pokemon lifted her head back up, and just stared at me. I was still trembling a bit, not really able to kick the fear I had in the back of my mind, especially when she looked so confused as to what she should be doing. We stared at each other for a few minutes in silence, neither one of us very comfortable with trying to say something it seemed. "Um… H-Hi there." She said in a confused tone, as if she wasn't sure that was the right thing to say.

I paused, not knowing how to respond to her lack of confidence. "H-Hi…" I simply said, nothing else on my mind. After that, the silent staring resumed, very awkward air hanging all around us.

"I wish I was better at talking normally, geez I need to ask for help." She sighed. "Situations like these never come up, I need to learn how to handle them, and why I need to handle them in the first place, this is annoying." She shook her head a bit and sighed again, while I stood still, at a complete loss. What is she even talking about..?

"Wait, did I say all that out loud?" She locked eyes with me, and I still felt terrified, just now coupled with much confusion. I gave her a very slow nod. "I need to work on that too then, thanks for the feedback child charmander."

Child charmander..? Never been called that before. "N-No problem." I responded, unsure of how to further carry out this conversation, if you could call it that. Part of me was afraid to try and find a way to leave, scared of the possibility that she was faking me out and planned to attack me after I tried to get away, but on the flipside, I was also afraid to talk to her about anything, possibly saying something she didn't like and leading to a similar conclusion as the first option.

After the awkward silence hit its peak, I decided to open my mouth, wanting to at least ask a simple question, but before I got the chance, the pokemon in front of me jerked her head to the side and put a paw on it. "Geez! A little warning next time Firefox!" She let out an annoyed sigh, and I tilted my head in supreme confusion.

Before I even had the opportunity to question anything, the leaf-covered pokemon hopped out of the giant hole she jumped in from, and it sounded like she entered the bottom of it once more. The creaking of the floorboards that constructed this shack was louder than last time, much louder, as if the pokemon was stomping heavily, clearly irritated by something. I still had no idea who she was, or why she was here, but all I could assume is that she was part of the Nest, and that she had a task similar to mine, finding everything here that might be useful, and heading back.

I've been here for a long time, haven't I..?

I very quickly got myself together and went to the bottom floor of the shack, the odd pokemon not present. Where could she have gone? I wondered to myself, as I gave one final scan through all of the random items within this place, not finding anything important to take note of. I gave myself a small nod and decided to leave the area, very curious as to what came of the brief conversation I just had.

I ended up trying to forget that it happened, and heading back to the Nest,

Hello Readers!

A bit of a short chapter, but another one regardless! Hope you all enjoy it! And I hope every last one of you are having a great day!

Fun fact, I actually got pretty emotional at the beginning of the chapter, to the point where I had to stop many times in the middle of it, because of my head getting all foggy. Since then, I've been debating whether I should explain in an author's note why this is, as it also relates to my inconsistent uploads and possible lack of quality lately. (Haven't been called out for it, so I don't know if they've been worse or not :p) Soooooo, after some thought, I decided on explaining all of it right here! Story time! If you don't care, that's perfectly fine! Skip it all! I understand, not like people always like hearing about everyone else's issues, so if you don't want to, don't force yourself! To those of you who don't care, See You Next Chapter!

Now though, onto story time: When I say I got emotional during the first part of this chapter, I mainly mean most of Naru's perspective. Usually, when writing, I never get too worked up or anything, because I have everything planned out, and when I'm ready for it, whatever happens in the story that is, I typically don't get emotional. This however, was a special case, because it so-accurately describes something I've been going through for roughly a month and a half now, maybe a bit shorter.

For some backstory, I met a person around December I believe, who I went on to talk to every single day until April 6th. Just by that alone, I think it's easy to see that we're close by now, as talking for nearly five straight months does that to a pair. :p But anywho, at first we only really talked, not as ourselves, but role-played as OCs we both made around the time we met. Over time, we began talking more and more out of character, as people, and learned more about one another. One of the things I learned about them, is that they had a slowly but surely deteriorating mental state, which didn't sit well with me ever since I figured it out, but I did what I could to help regardless.

Around April second I believe, this person ended up attempting to do something that's best unmentioned, however, it doesn't take much imagination to figure out what. Right after that, my mind was pretty… you know, not stable. I still tried my very best to help the situation, but the next day, they tried the same thing again, which made doing that all the more difficult. Finally, on April 6th, they tried for the third and final time, ending up with an injury afterwards. Besides me absolutely losing it, they seemed as if they wouldn't try anything of the sort again, which I hoped was true, allowing me to calm down just a bit.

Right after all of this happened, they left, barely a word about it. They were just gone, and I had no way to get into contact with them again. This went on for exactly a month, until May 6th, and during that time, I ended up getting to this point in the story, namely thinking about how I was going to write out Naru's perspective, and once I did, I put two and two together, and well, Naru and I right there had pretty much the same exact thought process. Someone being gone, having no idea what they're going through, having no idea if they would be okay or not, all of it, that's exactly how I felt through it all. So, writing that bit was just a little bit tough at the time, and still kinda is, as the situation isn't exactly solved, but it's improving at the very least. Hopefully the situation for both me, and Naru gets all better in the future! I mean, I control one of them, so not too sure why I need to hope, but um… reasons! :D

Anywho, to anyone who actually decided to read all of this, thanks for sticking around! You get a virtual cookie! I want to thank everyone who has sent in more reviews and PMs, all of that stuff, it makes me really happy and I appreciate every bit of it! I want to thank my beta reader for cleaning up all of my chapters! (8-BitUmbreon)

See You Next Chapter!