Kai
There was heavy confusion all around me. It seemed like on both sides, surrounding me, there was nothing but clutter and worry. I never considered myself a double agent by any means, as I never did anything to benefit the Void, the only thing I did was submit to missions when I was asked to, which, thanks to my position within the Nest, wasn't too often. I did however, work to benefit the Nest and its Ravens, so I more considered myself on that side of the conflict. As of now though, none of that mattered, I was being hammered from both sides, overwhelmed.
The Void never, ever had emergencies, or even slight concerns for safety. They were too secure, and too powerful of a group for anyone to just waltz in and cause any need for worry. Yet, earlier today, I saw something I don't think I ever had before, not since I started my sliced life between the Nest and the Void. I saw Aven with an angered expression, he was annoyed, or irritated. I had never seen him put on a single emotion, so that was intriguing, and the most likely cause is that something ended up going down at the Void, whatever that may be. I was told specifically to keep an eye out, for what exactly, wasn't specified. Part of me was glad that the Void had some kind of trouble, something that was bugging them in some way shape or form, or something that was causing even the slightest problem. Then there's the other side of the issue, I might be tasked with dealing with said problem in some volume, which I wasn't exactly willing to put my effort into. If it does come to that,I won't have a choice in the matter, but as of now, all I could do is hope that the issue won't spread any further as to make it to my long list of tasks.
That wasn't even the end of it though. Not only the Void, but the Nest had multiple problems as of now, two of which I was familiar with, not knowing exclusively how to handle either one. The first one affected me directly, that being, Kuro was nowhere to be seen for a decent while now. The excuse that he was sent off on another mission right after the first without the chance to come back was a weak guise, the truth was easily within my grasp. He was taken to the Void after he was captured in a town eleven or so miles out. That much to me, was clear. I knew their protocol, I knew exactly how they operated, they wanted him alive for some reason, so they would take him back until he had fulfilled whatever purpose they had for him. The process in which they would get him to do so… I would rather not think about that part.
Kuro being taken wasn't the only thing going on within the Nest, but this one was kept locked up, as to not cause panic. One of the other leaders, that being Xen, a heliolisk, hadn't seen one of his pupils in a long while. Apparently, it wasn't unusual for him to try and skip out on training, and then afterwards say that the punishment was well worth the break. Because of that, he didn't find it too odd that he missed a day or two, and then the third session was skipped, causing that assumption to warp into worry. Some Ravens went to his room in order to check up on him, and after needing to break down the door, there was nothing but a rotting corpse of a manectric.
It was shocking to say the least, to the ones who found him, and everyone who knows about the issue now, but more than shocking, it was confusing. It made me wonder if certain Ravens were traitors to the Nest, other than Aven and I. We were under strict ruling not to cause trouble, as to not blow our cover, so I highly, highly doubt Aven did this. At least, I doubt that he directly did anything, that's not to say he didn't cause it. It wasn't too hard to put the pieces together, Blitz's partner was Lucas, also mysteriously absent. Based on the little I knew about the gabite, it wasn't exactly farfetched to think that Aven manipulated him into bending to the Void's will, or maybe worse. As quiet and stoic as he was, Aven knew how to get under someone else's skin. All it took was one well thought out sentence, and he could sway you in the blink of an eye. It was almost scary how charismatic both him and Luna are, it's a trait that couldn't have given to worse pokemon.
The fact that there was a Raven here so able and ready to kill one of their own on a dime like that, it was unnerving. The position I was in already had chaos surrounding it, tacking an unforeseen murder onto all of it did nothing but further clutter everything that was going over in my mind. Despite this, I was oddly calm. Worried, but calm nonetheless. From all of past experiences, keeping my head, my thoughts even and clear, that's how I've survived as long as I have. By not panicking, by making sure I know what to do at all times, or at least know what to try. To say the least, the very minimum, I was used to the pressure.
Despite my demeanor being stable, I couldn't stop my growing concern for the situation slowly growing out of proportion. A lot of that sprouted from knowing that Kuro is in possession of the Void, and that he must be going in and out of hell over there. Shard had been trying to pinpoint my sudden change in attitude from a while back, and the conclusion she continued to arrive at is that I care much more for Kuro than I initially expected to. That alone bothered me, caring for someone who works for an organization that, I may want to agree with, but need to stay away from acting on any of my impulses, wasn't good for me. I don't know what exactly he has been through, only generally, but I know his hatred towards the Void grows with each passing day, maybe each passing second, especially now that he's stuck with them. His negative feelings would all extend to me too, had he been aware that I'm working on both sides, regardless of whether it's my choice or not. Even so, seeing him grow, not only as a fighter, but as a pokemon as well, it made me care about him. As much as it confused me, I couldn't help it. I hadn't ever cared about any of my other proteges during my time spent as a mentor in the Nest, not like I do with him, he's the only one I've ever been concerned for to this degree.
This problem wasn't limited to him either, the next one is Shard, I began to care for her a lot too. Once more, before this, I never grew attached to any Ravens, for obvious reasons, and I have no ideas what gave Shard a sudden interest in me, even after we had both been here for a decent while, she had never shown it before recently. Regardless, she bothered me, tried to talk to me at all times, and even tried to help me needlessly. At first, I saw all of it as an annoyance, nothing more, but that didn't take long to change after taking a look at my situation again. I was having many problems, and she took note of them, and attempted to help with them as best she could. Even if her methods of doing do were… questionable at times, I had to appreciate what she was doing, and who she is as a whole. It pained me to seperate myself from everyone like I've been trying to do, but the alternative is much worse, so I had to keep with it, no matter what. Getting found out will only make everything that much harder, it's a bad idea to try and interact with any of the others normally.
The training field I usually used to work with Kuro was calm and empty. The weather was quiet, but cold at the same time. I could feel it through my fur, not quite to the point of it become visible in front of my face though. Whenever I had nothing to do at the Nest, I always sat here, either meditating or waiting for time to just pass. This was the spot I spent the most time in by far, it was calming, and I was never bothered, save for the many times Shard decided it was a good idea to get me to talk. I welcomed the silence, it was an escape of sorts, one from the Void, the Nest, from everything around me, nothing but blissful peace and quiet.
The quiet nature of this area was broken by light pawsteps, shifting the small particles of dirt under each one of them. I assumed it was someone walking by, and kept my eyes closed as they were before, my posture unchanging from sitting up straight. The small taps on the earth below grew ever so slightly louder, causing my body to involuntarily tense, though not out of fear, but alertness. Old habits die hard, and the thought that anyone quietly walking up to you is attempting to murder you is one of those. After a few more light noises, they stopped, a few feet behind me. I could easily tell where exactly the other pokemon was standing, and based on the noise of their movement, they were facing me. While one part of me wanted to address them, another was holding me back, waiting for them to ask for my attention. They were clearly here for a reason, and they would make it evident on their own.
Seconds passed, with nothing said or done between us. Whoever they were, it wasn't Shard, she refuses to walk under any circumstance, she floats everywhere. Other than her, nobody else comes to me here, so the possibilities in my head moved in soparrattic patterns. A short and quick breath was drawn from behind me. "Kai?"
My ear twitched, recognizing the voice. It wasn't someone I talked to often at all, and it was quiet, almost null of emotion. I opened my eyes, still facing away, letting the violet burst of light enter my eyes, along with the small specks of brown and green from my standing point. "Yes?" I responded, also stoically, though it was forced.
Another pause took place. "I need to talk to you about something important. Don't try and deny any of it either, I'm not here to argue."
An uncomfortable shudder ran down my spine, and my eyes squinted a small amount. Being approached like this wasn't normal, not at all. Not even by Shard. I've never been subjected to such a blunt statement from anyone from the Nest, not once. I slowly turned my body around, and locked eyes with the company, trying much harder to keep a mask on. "What would that be?" Even if I had never heard this tone from any others, the last one I expected it from was Kuro's partner.
My discomfort only grew, along with the tense atmosphere. "You know that Kuro got taken by the Void, right? Thanks to some delphox?" Naru seemed antsy, like she was having trouble holding still. There was also a very thin line of blood under her lip, nearly unnoticeable.
"Yes, I do. All leaders associated with him were informed as such." Though, not many needed to know, only Myra, Core, Shard and myself really. Anyone else who knows had either associated with him at one point or another, or requested to be told where he was.
"Can you please tell me where he is?" Naru had a slightly-choked voice, like she was forcing herself to talk at all.
I felt something inside of me tense, I didn't like where this was going, nor did I like hearing someone talk who sounds like they had just finished bawling. "I wish I knew, I would most definitely tell you if I could." That wasn't entirely false, I would consider it, she had a right to know these things, and would be able to spread them in the Nest. Problem is… I honestly have no idea where he's located.
"Please… you have to tell me... " Naru looked down to the ground, gritting her teeth. "I know you're with the Void… so please…" She pleaded.
My head quickly turned into a hurricane, as opposed to the calming breeze from before. How could she know..? Did Aven tell her? Did she figure it out on her own? Without making my confusion and sudden worry visible, I searched my head, looking for a way to respond. It wasn't easy to keep my composure, as if she knew, who else? Everyone? Maybe just her? I had no idea, but thinking about it would only make talking that much harder. I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out at first. I retraced my steps and took a breath, shaking a small bit. "How do you know something like that?" I managed to get out, though not as confident as I sounded before.
"That doesn't matter!" Naru yelled, taking a step closer, causing me to automatically lean back. "I need to know…"
I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. Naru looked as if she had tears building in the corners of her eyes, her voice growing weaker and weaker. For her to come to me like this… for all she knows, I could have been like every other Void member, and try to kill her on the spot. She doesn't know I'm being forced…, and she still came here.
My own shaking wasn't visible, but Naru's was, I could easily tell. Whether it was from fear, anxiety, sadness, a combinations of emotions, I had no idea. She had to be desperate though, extremely so in order to say something like that. She really wanted to find her partner, in order to help him. I hardly knew anything about her, nothing aside from what Shard has told me from her mentoring. Even so, the bond between her and Kuro was obvious, anyone could see that, even the ones who had no relation to either one of them. They were always together, with very rare exceptions. I was really worried about Kuro, but I couldn't even begin to imagine what she felt.
After coming to the realization that I've been staring at Naru for about a minute straight, I had to say something, even if it's not what she wanted to hear. "I can't. I have no idea where he's being held. I'm not… trusted with that information." I answered truthfully. "He's in a facility exclusive to the Void's top five leaders, but I am ignorant to the location of it."
Naru's trembling stayed consistent, as she absorbed the information I had given her. "T-That can't be right... " She didn't resist a tear rolling down her cheek. "You're telling me he's with the most dangerous of them all..? And nobody other than them knows where..? Y-You're kidding…" She choked on her words and let out a sob, backing up. "W-What can I even do..?"
I was surprised that she believed me so easily, although it can have to do with her desperation. I averted my eyes from her, unable to watch her current state.
"W-Why would you tell me that though?" Naru shook her head, trying to stop herself from crying for any longer. "Y-You're with them… I thought you were gonna attack…"
Another pause took place, and I, like before, honestly considered talking about my position at the Void, and how I'm not there by choice, how I've been there for ages, stuck in an endless loop. Spouting that information was far too dangerous though, both for me, and for her. It's not like I can just ignore it though… She knows that I'm a part of the Void… That's just as dangerous. "Let's say I don't agree with a lot of their policies, and I don't care about them." I sighed, wanting to elaborate but deciding to take it slow and safe. "You have every right to not believe me, these are just the ramblings of a monster. They're not going to kill Kuro, I can nearly guarantee that as fact."
Naru's head shot to me, and she tilted it, a confused expression evident on her face. I didn't wait for her to ask to further explain. "They need him for some sort of information, although I'm unsure of what. It's apparently something only he can provide, something that Luna wants. You know Kuro better than I do, he won't just cough up information he knows the Void needs, and he won't be killed as long as he doesn't speak up." I thought about Luna's typical protocol, from past experiences. "Luna takes risks, a lot of them. War is like a game to her, the Void is her army to play with, and with every move comes risks. She takes more risks then what's safe, but there are certain things she doesn't bet on. Coincidentally finding someone else who has whatever she needs from Kuro isn't a likely occurrence, so she won't risk killing him until he talks. He'll remain alive as long as he can resist letting that information spill. For better or for worse…" I muttered the last part, nearly inaudibly.
The trembling from the glaceon in front of me was no less evident, but her tears had stopped before they escalated. "W-Will he be safe though..? Even if he's not k-killed..?" That's hard to answer…
I took a deep breath. "He won't be killed… that's all I can tell you. The Void is… awful. All of us are terrible. I wish I could tell you that he'll be safe, but with Luna at the helm of that section of the place, I can't promise he won't be subjected to torture…" It was the truth, as much as I hated to think about it.
"T-Torture..?" Naru looked down again, closing her eyes, and seemingly attempting to stop herself from shaking, with no sign of a result. I wanted to get the topic away from Kuro, it wasn't going to do either of us justice.
"Are you sure you're content believing what I say?" I asked, letting my monotone drop. "I'm with them, all of the Void, I'm a part of them. How can you accept what I say..? Easily at that..?"
"E-Earlier, I was attacked by someone else, new to the Void." She wiped her closed eyes with a paw. "H-He told me the same thing, that he didn't know where Kuro was. It just happened, so I know you couldn't coordinate that. Y-You both wouldn't have told me the same thing if it wasn't true…" Someone new to the Void..? She was attacked again..? "If you didn't lie about that, you wouldn't lie about the other things either… even if I don't understand why…"
Naru's logic was flawed, I hope I'm the first one she's believed so easily, and she hasn't run into another Void member who has tried to spread information prior. It would be easy to coordinate a lie like that, about us not knowing where the location of Kuro is. If the one she was attacked by was 'new,' then there's no way he knew about it either. That means, while we both told the truth, it was a stroke of luck on her part to trust our word, she has no reason to do so. It shows her desperation… "I already told you, I don't agree with a lot of the Void, so I don't care if I spread information."
"But… is that really enough of a reason to say all of that? It's dangerous, isn't it..?"
"Very. I guess that's not the only reason I'm talking." I paused for a second, closing my eyes again. "I… guess you can say I developed a positive relationship with Kuro. I care about him, and if I could, I would do whatever possible to get him out of that hellhole." Naru looked as if she was about to interrupt, but I continued. "I'll do what I can that may lead to Kuro being released, but that's not much. After he knows what I'm a part of, it's not like he'll want anything to do with me, and I don't blame him. If I wanted to adhere to everything the Void wants, I wouldn't have let myself get attached."
The silence between us grew thick again. I unintentionally started venting a little bit, despite the fact Naru knows nothing about my situation. As far as she knows, I'm just another part of the Void. "Why would you join then..?"
I opened my eyes and looked at her once more. "You don't agree with them… so why would you end up going along with them..?"
"Because I'm an idiot." I responded bluntly. "I shouldn't have gotten involved, but I am now, and I can't get out of it."
Letting myself get manipulated by the Void at a young age was a terrible mistake, yet I let it happen, and let everything escalate far beyond what it should have been. I hate myself for it, to be bribed by a sadist, and to keep on following it even when I started to realize what I was doing was wrong. Since I didn't stop myself, I'm stuck now, stuck within the walls of the Void, with nearly no chance of getting away without being tracked down and killed.
"Kuro already knows you're with them…" My eyes opened once more, and I stared blankly. "He's the one that told me… that's how I know…" He knew before her..? How..? "But… You don't know how Kuro recognized you as a Void member..?" Naru asked in a questioning voice, as if it was something I should have been aware of.
"I had no idea he knew… why does he even meet with me?" I contemplated, not really meaning to talk out loud.
"He's there with you because he wants to get stronger, and he knows that you're more so than him, so even if he's terrified of you, he still comes to train, because he wants to be able to stop the Void from hurting others like he was." Terrified..? I thought back to the first day I saw Kuro, outside of the Nest, trembling, standing in place. "But… you seem like you don't belong with the Void. Not if you're going against their wishes like this."
I didn't belong with the Void, Naru was right. I hated it there, I hated hurting and killing innocents who didn't deserve it, and yet, I kept on doing it. I'm afraid to stop, I'll be taken aside and punished if I do, which locked me in a state of fear, one that made it easy to take advantage of me. I still get more and more scared every day, that Aven or Luna is going to confront me directly, because I never stopped training Kuro when they asked me to. That's the first time I went against Void orders in many years, and it's just been ignored up to now. I think about it all the time, and it chills me to the core. That's all it always has been. I'm fearful, I'm a total coward. I can be taken advantage of when pokemon poke at my weaknesses, it's that easy. Just another reason why I hated myself.
"I can't look at you in a positive light… as much as I try." Naru looked back to the ground again. "It's just impossible right now. I don't know why you're with the Void, but Kuro was right when he said your actions to help seemed genuine…" She shook her head after speaking. "Whatever is keeping you at the Void, whatever chain is holding you down, it's possible to break, but as long as you're attached to it… and I'm ignorant as to why, I can't see anything in front of me… other than a Void member."
I nodded, resuming my monotone voice. "I don't deserve to be seen in any kind of light. I'll help Kuro get to where he needs to be, but other than that, I'll be connected to the Void. It's simple as that. I don't have the strength to break out."
"If I thought it was safe, I would tell the Nest… and you would probably be captured or killed on the spot…" Naru paused again, seemingly at a loss. "A-As of now, even if you don't belong in the Void, you're an enemy of mine, and as long as you're in that position, I can't sympathize with you." And I can't give you a reason to sympathize with me in the first place.
"Then we will continue to be on opposite sides of the conflict." I stated bluntly. There wasn't any getting around it, I was with the Void in the end, as much as I didn't want to be. I was still just a monster. A monster who has killed who knows how many at this point, for no reason other than fear. No reason other than my own cowardice.
"Thank you for the information…" Naru turned around and walked away. I was unmoving.
Naru tried to see things from my perspective, but she doesn't know why I'm in the Void in the first place, or that I'm being forced to stay through threats. Not that it would make much of a difference, I was still the same pokemon even if she knew the whole story. The same monster that I've always been, and will continue to be, because I'm scared.
And nothing can break that fear. Nothing that I can see.
Grace
Humming to myself, walking along a long stretch of stone through a small town, I was ready to go and accomplish my next mission objective. As usual, it was given to me by Luna, she still doesn't trust me to pick my own as if I'm a freshly hatched eevee, which was insulting! At the same time, I understood, because I know me. But either way, insulting! I was in a small town, apparently known as Spirit town, housing a bunch of lovely-looking multi-colored plants dancing in the cold air, not that I liked flowers or anything, even though I am a plant. Can I be considered a plant? Maybe? Kind of? Oh well.
I was to search a home for possible minerals that Firefox could use to make more enhancement thingies to make a bunch of pokemon stronger. It was determined that we needed to make more, because apparently, Hothead came back all beaten up because the idiot ran into a fight without even studying how to throw a proper punch before. Like, seriously? Come on! I'm not the brightest bulb, but at least I have battle instincts! That guy sucks! I got to beat him up afterwards though, so it was worth it! Even if I almost killed him… Oh well! He was okay in the end! Kind of. With a bunch of cuts and a broken leg.
I shivered from the sub-zero weather, and by sub-zero, I mean slightly below average weather that I always over exaggerate because I hate the cold more than I hate cleaning blood off the ceiling on a bad day when I'm tired. Luckily, I haven't had to do that in a long while, I've been doing all of work properly and efficiently! Well more efficiently than normal, two days late instead of four. You gotta start somewhere, right?
Most importantly, I haven't failed any since I let myself get idiotically poisoned by Blacky, who is apparently stuck in a closed room, getting nearly burned to death by Firefox, and various other forms of lovable torture! I wanted to join in, but I had to stay back with the main portion of the Void, as all of our strongest went over there, and I happened to be out and about counting how many rocks I could break with my tail in twenty seconds, so I got left behind on babysitting duty. I have noooo idea how to run an organization, but I'm sure as hell giving it my best effort! By that, I mean I laid out all of the Void tasks that need to get done, and then left. Leadership was not the role for me, I was more of a battle hungry plant, that's my specialty, so I was gonna stick with it. I even moved up to third in the Void in danger level! That was awesome! I got to one up the assassin too, so it was even better! And he said my methods of running endlessly and overcompensation don't work, HA! Next up is Passionless! I'll be the strongest leg in the Void soon enough!
My tasks have been incredibly boring though. Stupid material gathering from a bunch of different places, talking to pokemon for information that I'm not supposed to kill, and looking in a random shack for more supplies for Firefox to make a nuclear bomb or something, I had no idea. I haven't been able to kill anyone! I even found someone could have killed in that shack and I couldn't!
I slowed my walking down a bit, thinking. Why couldn't I kill him again? The little charmander? Something held me back, but what?
That wasn't the first time either, when I've been on a mission and I couldn't get myself to kill some random pokemon. It was so odd! I don't have any friends or anything, so why were there a bunch of random pokemon I just couldn't kill!? It didn't make sense! Not to me anyway, part of me wondered if I should look for something that all of them had in common, but I couldn't connect the dots. It was way too hard for me to figure stuff like that out, and I don't know why, I just kinda can't do it. It's like, I get an idea, and then as soon as I go to dissect that idea more, poof! It's gone! Happens every time I try and think about why I can't kill certain pokemon, and it bothers me too much! Makes me want to go and beat up the assassin because for some reason he's always the first pokemon that comes to my head when I want to beat someone up. It was especially odd because he was probably the closest thing to a companion I've had… ever. As long as I can remember at least, and we're not even friends! Just… what's the term? Kindred spirits? Associates? Companions? Whatever it was, we weren't friends! I didn't have those things, they just got in the way of everyone.
That being said, it seems like whenever I was attacking two or more pokemon who consider one another friends, it's a lot harder for some reason. I can still do it effortlessly, but it's noticeably different when that's the case. That being said though, I've never failed a task by the means of someone else! Not once! I've failed a few times because of my own carelessness and density, but never because I wasn't tough enough! I'm planning on keeping it that way too! I refuse to be taken down by anyone else! Although, there's always someone higher than you, so getting cocky wasn't a smart move. That's why I never stopped training, no matter what. Even if, with the point I'm at now, I can probably take ninety percent of the world's population on, there's still always that ten percent that will always be better than you. New ones always rise up, and if lazy, the top players will flimsily fall down the tree of power. Something like that will not happen to me, that's for sure.
I gotta say, that was a pet peeve of sorts I had with the Void. Almost every single one of them had this arrogance, a superiority complex towards everyone else, I disliked that. I would never show that attitude towards someone I knew nothing about, it's risky and idiotic, which probably sounds like the least impactful thing on the planet coming from me, but if there was one thing I was familiar with, it was knowledge of survival. I have nooooo idea whatsoever why I knew so much about said survival tactics, but I did, and I wasn't going to waste any bit of that knowledge. Maybe that's why I didn't hate The Assassin, because he was similar in a way. He wasn't arrogant, but instead careful and methodical with everything he did. Granted, I was neither one of those things, but I'm sure as hell not arrogant either! When I inevitably get myself killed, I won't let it be because I was cocky and overconfident! Not sure if that's healthy to think… Oh well!
Even if it was at the very least, possible for me to get along with the Assassin, it was impossible for me to not hate Firefox with a burning… puns… burning passion. That arrogance problem? She has the worst of it by far. She's dangerous, without a doubt, and to be honest, she's one of the ones I feel like can just kill anyone if they minorly inconvenienced her. I'm the same in that regard of course, but that just raises her threat level more, which I couldn't deny. That being said… I hate her sooooooo much! She's put a lot of work into her skills, she can freeze and control dark types, which don't get me wrong, that's impressive, but she thinks she can do literally anything because of it, and that she's above everyone, no matter what. It's… so… irritating! Honestly, if she wasn't the best scientist in the Void bar none and if Luna wouldn't mutilate me if I tried to kill her, trust me, I would do it in a heartbeat. Living in the same facility as her and needing to even interact on a decent basis just increases that hatred as time progresses.
I cleared my head of all Firefox-related thoughts, she didn't need to be on my mind. I had a menial task to complete after all! Searching for stuff and things! I traced my paws across the ground, heading to a small home located… somewhere in this place. I didn't know exactly where, but I would find it! Just takes a bit of time… a lot of time sometimes, but time is something that doesn't always run out. After all, there's always time to think about time sometimes.
…
Let's stop thinking about time.
As I was walking down a very soft patch of grass, something bumped into one of my hind legs, nearly causing me to tumble forward. I put one forepaw in front of the other, followed by my back paws quite quickly until managing to stop myself just short of falling over. I jumped and flipped my body around, mouth already open to shout. As soon as I laid my eyes on the small togepi on the ground before me, all that came out was a cough, and my body went stiff.
I gulped and looked down at the small critter, scrambling its egg-like body to stand with a nearly inaudible, almost comedic groan. "Ouch…" They rubbed their head with one of their stubby hands. I took a breath and stared down at them, unsure of what to do. I ended up tapping my paw on the ground impatiently a few times, feeling uncomfortable. Without another word, the togepi ran by me energetically, seemingly having somewhere to be. I turned my head, but not my body, and watched them run to a roserade and a togekiss, before following them to another part of the miniscule town.
My blank state of mind reverted to normal not long after, and I shook my head, walking in a different direction now. My body shuddered a bit, and I continued on my way.
Again… What was that?
Hello Readers!
I actually have something to say this time! Hoorah! The day this chapter goes up, it will be a year since the very first chapter of this story was released, a whoooollleee year! Dear Arceus where does time go? Writing this became such a natural part of my schedule, and I'm very pleased it did! I met some awesome people, who I never would have, had I not decided to go through with what started as a way to vent my emotions. :p Two in particular have had GIGANTIC impacts on my life in multiple ways, and you know who you are. I almost didn't write this, was terrified to put myself out there, because, you know, the events of the first chapter may not be seen by many as "acceptable," but one day, I was staring at the doc for the first chapter in school, and just slapped myself in the face and told myself to do it, and I did. I've never been so happy that I slapped myself! I did actually do it by the way, I'm a strange hooman.
Annnyway though, the first chapter went up, anxiety was high, and I'm pretty sure I was taking finals or something at the time, so I was stresssseeed. It only took a few hours for me to get a review, saying that I did a good job on the start, but here are some points you can improve on. I couldn't be happier with that as a start! I was told it wasn't terrible, and given feedback, I loved it! Great first impression for writing! Two days later I got a PM from someone else telling me to see a therapist, but I ignored that one. :p
Not long after, I uploaded another chapter, receiving very similar feedback, and I was still appreciative! This continued for a long while, eventually leading to having a beta reader and actually talking to some people other than reviews, I was being social! Kind of. I'm not good with words, but I try. :p The reviews and whatnot sort of slowed down after a while, and are still fairly slow nowadays, which initially worried me, making me think that people just lost interest, which led me to check my analytics for like the second time, and low and behold, it's been viewed nearly twelve thousand times. That just… blew my mind. Sure, it's probably not much when considering the scale, but just as a number, that's a lot! Sure it also added pressure to writing in the future, but I mean, still! That was awesome to think about for me! I've been worried about the quality of the recent chapters, as I said, the feedback has died down a lot, so I'm not sure what parts I'm doing wrong, but at the same time, I have people tell me that they came out really well, and that I'm not screwing them up. I've just been confused I suppose. :p
A year later, three hundred thousand words, not too bad I don't think. Could have been more if I was more consistent, but I'll take it, still the longest thing I've ever written by far. :p I'm inclined to say I'm proud of it too! Could use a lot of work, those first ten or so, those still need to be re-done. :p But It'll happen for sure! It'll just take some time! Much time! I don't have a lot of that right now. :p
Finally, I just need to thank everyone who reads this, and especially those who have stuck around for so long! I really appreciate every last one of you more than I can describe! All of the reviews, PMs, all that, I love them! So keep them coming! Thank you to my beta reader for cleaning up all of my chapters! (8-BitUmbreon)
See You Next Chapter!