They challenge the lord and the forest applauds
Later, as Hijikata found himself in his room which had thick dust on every surface from his absence, the reality of the situation steadily sunk in. He wasn't really sure what emotion to feel. It was too much to confront at once. He dropped onto his bed and allowed his head to droop. His shoulder ached and he noted that it probably would for some time. The scar would likely be a permanent reminder of this day and of the pain he had felt. Even though things had turned out for the good, he would continue to have nightmares for many years to come. He would see the ethereal shimmer of silver under the bright spill of paints in a darkened hall, a rainbow of colours breaking through the stained-glass windows, splitting sunlight into a thousand fractures. Their hues would hide in his shadows, shamed by the regal crimson of his eyes. Dust blows through the open doorway and dances like tiny critters around his feet. And still, there was death and despair looking down on him.
A knock sounded at the door and Hijikata knew it to be human. He was certain it was Kondo before the man even stepped foot around the corner.
A smile split the man's face – ever humble and kind, despite his new title.
"It's good to see you, Tosshi." And Hijikata felt guilty that the name was no longer special to him. 'Tosshi' had for a long time been Kondo's word to say. Now, it meant almost nothing. There was still a part of him that felt like he had betrayed Kondo by disappearing with the Silver Archer and planning all this without speaking to him. He attempted a smile.
"Hi."
Kondo's eyes softened and he beckoned Hijikata into his embrace. Hijikata stood and allowed Kondo's arms to wrap around him. He took a moment to breathe him in, the familiar scent comforting and he realised it had been far too long since he had seen this man. Hijikata never wondered what Kondo would do when he returned – he always knew. Kondo would not even flinch to allow Hijikata back into his embrace. There would be no hesitation in welcoming him back to his side. He was such a man of kindness and Hijikata would have to work hard from here on in to protect his leader from the attacks of others who would no doubt use his humanity as naivety. There would be many people trying to manipulate Kondo and as strong as he was, he was also compassionate enough to risk his own life and position to help others, even if he knew their intentions to be poor.
"How's the shoulder?" Kondo asked, being careful not to jostle him too hard as he ruffled Hijikata's hair affectionately. It made him feel like a kid again and his stomach twisted.
"Not as deep as it looks."
"Good. That Silver Archer really did a number on us, didn't he?"
Hijikata's eyes dropped to the ground, heavy with an emotion he couldn't place. He could not forget the betrayal he had felt. Ever the perceptive commander, Kondo picked up on whatever Hijikata could not place a finger on.
"Tell me about your journey," he said, taking a seat on Hijikata's bed without asking and beckoning him down beside him. He did so obediently and began to speak of what had happened – Kondo deserved an explanation.
He told of how he was surrounded at the stream away from his men and knocked unconscious, then taken into the midst of the Merry Men. From within their heart, he could see how they worked and the intricate bonds between them, all leading back to the same man. He saw for the first time the real Silver Archer, the legend's root, Gintoki. Constrained by his bonds, he viewed the group as an outside eye, stunned as he grasped just how tightly their comradeship was. He realised just how many people were drawn to Gintoki's character, the way he spoke and gestured, how each and every person around a fireplace would be sucked into his pace. And then, Hijikata told of how slowly, day by day, he found himself dragged along with them. Suddenly, he was in their flow, too. And he began to drown in it.
He spoke freely of his admiration of Gintoki – of course, from a knight's viewpoint. How strong he was in battle. His unarmed combat skills, the way his arrows flew like death's minions seeking out their targets with incomparable accuracy. He told of Gintoki's second character, the deliverer of retribution and justice. The darkness beneath that lackadaisical surface. He hesitated before he revealed to Kondo the strange relationship he had developed with Gintoki … and the effect it had on him. It tortured his dreams with guilt, but at the same time, provided a refuge he did not know he desired. Something so small had blossomed into a power over him Hijikata could not control.
And then he recounted as best he could the plan and how it had unfolded, taking hesitant breaths as he told of Gintoki's apparent betrayal.
All the while, Kondo listened.
"It looks like you have a choice to make," he finally said. Once more, Hijikata dropped his head. He knew Kondo was right, but it wasn't a choice he wanted to make. "Of course, I'll support you, whichever way. But it would be remiss of me not to impart some wisdom onto you, eh, Tosshi?" He nudged his friend playfully but Hijikata was finding it difficult to smile.
"'m listening," he said, dejectedly.
"You need to decide if you're going to stay here or join them. I'm sure Gintoki is waiting around somewhere for you to make that decision." Hijikata thought so, too. He nodded, glumly. "However, whichever you chose, you should hear this. Tosshi, your attitude towards Gintoki … it's obsessive."
Hijikata's spine straightened like a metal rod. His mental guard immediately went up and he shut off the connection between his emotions and his expression. Kondo continued.
"You don't see him as a friend. The way you've spoken of him to me, you think of him like a god. That's dangerous, Tosshi. He has far too much control over you. I don't know whether he has manipulated you on purpose, or if all this is in his personality … but if you do choose to leave with him, it should be with this in mind. He's a powerful person, Tosshi, not just as a fighter. I've seen it myself. He reminds me of the tale of the pied piper – he walks through villages and towns and people just flock to him. You're not made to be a follower, Tosshi. You won't be happy like that. If you leave with him, can you leave as his equal?"
All these words were ringing true and it would have knocked Hijikata off his feet if he had been stood on them. Instead, he rubbed at his eyes, feeling suddenly exhausted. He knew Kondo was right. Gintoki was like a divine being to him, a legend in the making. When he was near Gintoki, he felt his own wills and wishes ebb away. All he wanted to do was be beside him. He trusted him so irrefutably that he had thrown away his old life to make way for this new one. Now he was back with Kondo, it was like he had returned to his normal self and was looking back on a dream.
"But as I say, it will always be your choice to make."
"You should leave," a new voice chimed into the conversation as Sougo entered. He stood casually, hands deep in pockets and chewing lazily on a chunk of dried meat he'd pilfered from somewhere. "Don't worry, I'll look after things on this end."
"Over my dead body," Hijikata laughed, softly. It was nice to relive a piece of normality.
"If that's how you want it …" Sougo shrugged. "Kondo, a messenger has come from some noble. He wants to speak with you."
"Okay." Kondo slapped his hands on his thighs and stood, patting Hijikata on the back just before he left his side. "If you decide to go, don't leave without saying goodbye."
"… I won't." Hijikata said. He felt confident that he had made his decision. He knew where he wanted to be. He only worried that a certain pair of red eyes might persuade him otherwise, even if the words from Gintoki's mouth did not try to.
He got up and moved to the window which overlooked the castle square where the whole drama had unfolded barely an hour ago. The square was mostly empty now. The mercenaries had long since disappeared, the villagers returned to normal life and his men patrolled the area as usual. One of them glanced up and caught his gaze, waving brightly. There was no sign on the Silver Archer.
So, where would he be?
He had a feeling he knew.
He scaled the stone steps of the castle keep, ever climbing upwards towards the highest point in the land. Hijikata knew the rooftop well. He frequented it often as the spiritual peace he felt when he could see beyond the castle walls brought the world into perspective. He often stared into the distance at the rolling hills and forests, imagining his brother still there hunting wild deer, navigating the land like he owned each and every tree. Each season, the scope of colours would shift completely - from bright green in the summer, to pinkish reds in the autumn, then on to a white of snow in winter, returning finally to the bare branches of spring to begin the cycle once more. You could see for miles atop this keep. Under the foot of the castle, normal life brought a brisk sense of rationality to Hijikata's life – perspective. Looking further to the outward villages in the beginnings of the forest, he was taken back in time to his childhood, the host of comforting and disturbing memories flooding back to him. Beyond that, a sea of forest that cast Hijikata away from reality – like looking upon a fantasy. The world never seemed to end and there was so much that Hijikata had not yet explored, ground he had not touched and communities he knew nothing about.
Gintoki was exactly where he expected him to be, perched on the keep wall with his feet hanging over the edge. He wasn't looking down at the people below, or out at the forest, or across to the horizon. He looked skyward.
"I should push you off," Hijikata commented and could see the corner of Gintoki's lips flick up into a smirk.
"If you did that, I'd fall."
"You know, that would be the point."
"Surely not," Gintoki teased, swinging his legs delightedly. He looked for all the world like a small child enjoying the sun's kiss on his skin. "So, bit of an adventure we had today."
"You could have just told me the plan."
"Now where would be the fun in that?" Gintoki's tone was sing-song and although he had joked about pushing Gintoki off, Hijikata was feeling more and more inclined to do it. "Your expression was pretty delicious back then." Hijikata was stood directly behind Gintoki now and the man leaned over backwards to look up at him. Those eyes glinted with mischief. Hijikata leaned over to kiss him. He bit Gintoki's lip lightly and Gintoki returned the gesture with greater fervour. With every second that passed with their lips connected, Hijikata thought about how cruel this man had been to him. He moved away slowly, keeping steady eye contact with the man. He slowed his breathing. Gintoki was making no efforts to disguise just how rapidly his chest was heaving. His lips were slightly red now but remained parted, expectantly. Even now, he was making it so painful for Hijikata to choose.
"You knew all along that it would come to this," Hijikata said, his voice a husky breath.
"And you didn't?"
"You've done your best to make me stay."
"Correction," Gintoki smiled, "I've done my best to make you leave."
"You know that I can't."
Gintoki's tone remained upbeat. "Well, I tried my best." He shrugged both shoulders, innocently. "The decision was always yours, princess."
"Where are you going now?"
Again, Gintoki wriggled his shoulders. "Wherever life takes me."
"Is it far?"
"Could be."
"Will you be taking the kids along?"
"And you, if I can help it."
Hijikata straightened and turned his back on Gintoki. He had to say this succinctly, not just for Gintoki but for himself. "I'm staying here beside Kondo." Gintoki did not reply and Hijikata could not bring himself to turn round. "It's where I want to be."
Again, no response. Hijikata squeezed his eyes shut, listening hard as though if he tried hard enough, he'd be able to hear the thoughts inside Gintoki's head. No such luck. He couldn't understand this man even when he was looking directly into his eyes. Just like Kondo had said, Hijikata did not stand before Gintoki as an equal. If he could not even decipher what the man was thinking, how could he expect to see past the stars in his eyes to comprehend the soul beyond them. He was far off being an equal. Maybe, in time …
Finally, the tension became too much and Hijikata turned around. He was shocked to find Gintoki directly behind him and nearly took a step back. Gintoki's expression was sombre. He reached out and took Hijikata's face in his strong hands, leaning in to kiss his forehead.
"Goodbyes," he said, moving down to his nose and leaving another kiss on the tip, "are never forever." He moved down again but he did not have to move far – Hijikata was already tilting his head up to meet his lips. "When the sun and the moon lock eyes, I'll see you again, my Maid Marian."
Just as Hijikata opened his eyes, Gintoki had vanished. He felt it best not to go after him. If he did, he would probably follow the man all the way back into the forest. Like the pied piper. Instead, he contented himself by memorising the sound of his footsteps edging away, knowing that one day he would hear them coming back to him.
"You know where to find me," Hijikata spoke to the ever-rescinding footsteps. There was no verbal response, but he certainly heard a sniff of laughter.
Tell me a story, one of heartbreak and glory,
Tell me the tale of Robin Hood.
The Sheriff and his men, in the lion's den,
A man of evil; a man of good.
"How does not matter, bring me his head on a platter!"
And his men set out into the wood.
Robin Hood saw her eyes, brighter than the skies,
And stole her away from the brook.
Marian saw his eyes, more beautiful than sunrise,
And changed her impression of the crook.
"You are not what I thought, your allegiance cannot be bought,
All along, I've misunderstood."
They know such a fool is not fit to rule
And plot a revolt in the wood.
And all legend will say, the revolution started this day,
The mutiny of Robin Hood.
They challenge the lord and the forest applauds,
The Sheriff is defeated for good.