Author's Note: Thank you all for joining us with this new story/new universe. Alex and I are happy that you are enjoying it. I feel the need to respond a little to a couple of the comments made in the last chapter. Guest: Yes, he did tell Natalie and his middle-school sweetheart that he had gone all the way with Trudy. Was definitely aware of that and that fact may play a role in a future chapter. However, as LJD correctly notes, it was Tony Shalhoub's contention (according to at least one article) that Monk and Trudy didn't go 'all the way'. It would make sense with some of his behavior and I knew that it would be a pretty controversial choice; however, it does prove intriguing as well. And so, he was written that way in honor of that point of view. Whether or not he ever gets over that...I guess we'll have to wait and see :) - Janine (aka, MonkNotJunk and 1/2 of AftertheEnd)

Thank you LJD, Country, KittyKat, Alkibiades, and Guest for your input - and congratulations to our favorite actor on the new addition to his family!

The little dinner between Monk and his assistant marked a subtle change in their relationship. Monk had always trusted Natalie, from the very beginning, but by getting him to tell her his deepest held secret she had given him a gift. That one conversation allowed him to address a lifetime of shame in a way that he didn't feel judged or pitied, but loved.

For Natalie, the conversation helped her to understand the sometimes-innocent way that her boss looked at the world was due to the fact that in many ways he truly was still very innocent. But, this knowledge did not diminish him in her eyes at all. It drew him closer. It made her more protective of not just him or his feelings, but who he was as a person. She was positive that Trudy was protective of him as well; but, unlike Trudy, Natalie also felt compelled to help him to move even further in his progress as a person – for his good and so that he could experience some of the simpler pleasures that fear and pain had robbed him of for fifty-three years.

For Monk, it gave him a lot to think about. For instance, while he knew he trusted Natalie with his life, it was a bit surprising, even to him, that he had divulged so much. After all, she was his best friend but she was still an attractive woman and he would have thought that admitting such a thing to her would have somehow made him feel less manly or somehow foolish. But, it hadn't. Just the opposite. It was freeing. It made him want to open up about other things in his life, things he had kept locked away for years, believing that by having Natalie's caring ear with him, he could finally move past some of the things which haunted him.

And so, for the next two weeks, their mornings began considerably differently than they had over the last eleven years.

One morning, Natalie was surprised when she arrived and Adrian was dressed in a pair of blue jeans, pullover and a brown bomber jacket.

"Ah, good! You're here!" he said with a smile. "Here, put these on and meet me downstairs."

He had handed her a brand new pair of lady's tennis shoes in her size. Where they had come from, she had no idea, but rather than argue with him, her curiosity compelled her to follow to see what was on his mind.

Arriving downstairs, she pulled out her car keys and asked him where they were headed off to. He simply smiled and walked up to her, looking her directly in the eyes and silently removed the keys from her hands, returning them to her purse. Taking her by the hand, he explained that they were going for a walk. He held her hand that way for six blocks until they arrived at Huntingdon Park by San Francisco's Nob Hill. Sitting her at a park bench, he asked her to stay still while he ran across the street to a hotel and brought them back coffee, tea, and Danish for breakfast. Once he returned, he sat next to her and smiled a blissful smile as she waited for him to tell her why they had made the morning jaunt.

"I guess you're wondering why we're here." He said, finally.

"The thought did occur to me." She said, taking a sip of tea as her eyes and ears were trained on him.

"Well...I got up this morning just thinking about things... and I thought I would show you where I first began to seriously consider becoming a police officer. I was thirteen years old." He explained. "Mom had banished Ambrose to his room for because he left the milk out on the counter overnight and it spoiled, so he was told he was to stay in his room for three weeks."

"Grounded for three weeks, for that? That was just a mistake." she replied.

"It was. Didn't matter. Three weeks for leaving the milk out – and if I said anything to defend him, then I would have to have the spoiled milk with my breakfast every day until it was gone. No matter how much I disliked it or how sick it made me." He said.

"That's awful. Is that where you became afraid of milk?" she asked.

"No." Monk replied. "That happened much younger, when I was a toddler, but I'll save that horror story for another day. Anyway, on this particular day, Ambrose was grounded and Mom sent me out to go pick up her pain and depression medicine from the pharmacy. She didn't care that I had to be to school by eight. I had to go to the pharmacy first, which was a fifteen-minute walk, and pick up her pills.

Normally, I would have just done what I was told to do without complaint; however, on that particular morning there was a special science lecturer who was going to be there to talk to us about Apollo 13 and I was very interested in hearing him."

"The moon landing." she smiled. "Seems like that event follows you around."

He grinned. "Yes. That was how I met you, over the moon rock at the museum. But back then, I was of an age where that sort of thing really captured my attention. I had talked about it for weeks and even had a scrapbook of newspaper articles for him to sign. I think he was a NASA engineer, but to me it was just as good as being an astronaut. It was one of the few things that year that I was really looking forward to, and Mom knew it. But, it didn't matter. She told me ten minutes before the bus was to pick me up at seven-thirty that I needed to walk to the pharmacy, which would mean I would miss the bus and therefore have to walk another thirty minutes to school. Considering the guy was only supposed to be there an hour, I would have essentially missed the entire thing."

Natalie frowned. "So, you missed the speaker? Because you were you were out getting her medicine?"

Monk raised his chin with a self-congratulatory look. "No. I missed the speaker because I didn't end up going to school at all that day."

"You skipped school?" she asked.

"I did." He responded with a semi-proud look on his face. "I skipped school for the one and only time in my life and I took my lunch money and boarded a bus and came here to this park."

"Here? But didn't you guys live in Marin County?" she asked.

"Yes, we did." He nodded. "Same house Ambrose lives in now."

Natalie nearly choked on her tea. "So, you're telling me that Adrian Monk, ran away from home? I can't picture that at all."

"Sort of. It was really more like playing hooky from school - for an extended period. I really don't know what I was thinking entirely. I just had to get away for a while." He replied. "Mom was always leaning on me to be the man of the house after dad left, so I pretty much did all of the cleaning and the grocery shopping and wrote out the checks to pay the bills."

"At age eight."" she clarified.

"Yes. Mom and Ambrose wouldn't come out of their rooms until I was ten, so that's pretty much what I had to do to survive. But anyway, I was so upset over missing the NASA guy that about halfway on my way to school, I saw a bus stop and looked down at the lunch money in my pocket and decided to not go to school at all! Instead, I boarded a bus into the city and determined I was going to enjoy a day to myself.

So, I came here, and I sat on this very bench for hours and I ate breakfast (which I purchased from the hotel that I just got our breakfast from) and watched the people and considered what it was I was going to do with my life now that I was on my own."

Natalie's eyes studied Monk's features as he told her the story, how his eyes twinkled as he told her something that she clearly would never have expected from him in a thousand years. And while the event seemed rather benign in and of itself she was amused at how scandalous it was coming from him.

"I looked over at that church over there and thought, hey, maybe I could become a priest or a missionary worker and go help people in need overseas. But then, I knew I'd have to fly to do that and we weren't Catholic, and so I kinda nixed that idea. Then, I looked over by the fountain over there and there was this group of people with long hair and beads playing guitars and singing, and I thought 'Hey, I play clarinet! Maybe I could join their band."

Natalie giggled. "Randy would be proud."

Monk grinned. "Please don't tell him. I don't want him to try to identify with me in this way."

"Oh, I won't." she smiled.

"They were playing this song where they sang something about going ahead and hating their neighbor and cheating friends."

"One Tin Soldier." She said, knowing the song.

"Oh. Was that the name of the tune? I didn't know. So, I walked up to them and offered to play in their band."

"What did they say?" she asked.

"They told me to get lost. This was 1972 and most hippy bands in San Francisco really didn't have room for a high school band clarinet player in their mix. I never understood why. So, I walked back over to the park bench and sat here the rest of the day. Then, when school was about out, I tried to return to take the bus home and realized that someone had stolen the remaining lunch money I had for the fare."

"Oh, no!" she said. "What did you do? Did you have to call your Mom?"

"No money." He replied. "I had to stay here overnight.

"Oh, dear. You must have been frightened." She replied.

He nodded. "It…it wasn't really pleasant. I had a hard time getting to sleep on the bench but when I did go to sleep I slept sound. So sound that I slept until around ten the next day."

"Oh, goodness. How did you get home?"

"Mrs. Bancroft."

"That teacher from your school you were telling me about?" she asked.

"Yes. She knew it wasn't like me to miss school and tried to call my house, but Mom and Ambrose would never answer the phone. So, she asked the class if they had heard if I was sick or anything and one of the kids had come downtown the night before and saw me curled up on the park bench. Mrs. Bancroft got into her car at lunchtime and found me here."

"Bless her heart! Were you okay?"

"I was cold and hungry and a bit scared that I was going to be in trouble for staying out. But, she calmed me down. We sat here for probably an hour and I talked to her about what had happened and she told me Adrian, you've had a lot going against you in your life and it would be easy to just give up. But, don't. You're so smart and such a good young man, you could grow up and do a lot of good for people and really help people. Then she pointed out this police officer and told me, for instance, I could become a police officer or a detective and use my analytical skills to help people who had been hurt by other people."

"Wow! That's an amazing story." Natalie responded. "You know, you've had people placed in your life at each stage that have kept you going when times were tough."

"Eh…" he mumbled.

"No, seriously. It may not feel like it, but God's been looking out for you. If you look back at your life, you had that teacher, then you had Trudy and then Leland and Sharona…"

"And now I have you." He said, looking over at her with a sweet smile.

"Always." She smiled back, shyly, resting her head on his shoulder. "So, finish your story. What did your Mom say when you got home? She had to be worried sick."

"It's really not that important." He replied.

"Sure, it is. Was she angry? I'll bet she was scared." she responded.

Monk twisted his mouth slightly and looked off into the distance and Natalie looked up at him. "Well, here's the thing." He paused. "She didn't even know I was gone. She still had enough pills for several days so she didn't miss me at all or ever know that I had run away."

Natalie gasped, putting her hand over her mouth as she considered how that must have effected young Adrian. She reached her hand forward and rubbed small circles on his back.

Looking over at her, he noticed she was crying and smiled empathetically. "Oh. Come now." He said. "I didn't mean to make you sad. Don't cry." He took off his jacket and began draping it over her shoulders. "Here. You look cold. Take my jacket."

"Adrian, I think that's the saddest thing I've ever heard." She said, as he released the jacket. Looking away, he began playing with his fingers in his lap. She reached over and looped her arm through his arm and hugged it, and they were quiet for a while.

"It's not the saddest thing you've ever heard." he said, breaking the silence. "I mean, it's kind of sad, I get that. But, there's world hunger and all that."

She chuckled at his attempt at humor, then said softly. "But it must have been sad for you. To grow up in that home."

He looked thoughtfully over towards the fountain. "It was." He replied. "But…I'm over it."

Looking up at him with her big blue-green eyes she smiled and shook her head. "No, you're not."

He said nothing more, but simply reached his hand over, placing it on her arm then laid his cheek on the top of her head. From there, they continued to quietly watch the people together in the park for the greater part of the rest of the morning.

After that day, they jumped back into their normal routine but things were changing between them and Leland noticed.

For one thing, they normally stood closely to one another, but he observed the subtle way that Monk would reach out and almost imperceptibly touch the small of Natalie's back or guide her into a crime scene like he never had before. In fact, she usually walked behind him – him being the lead detective and all, and this was appropriate. But more often than not over the next week or so, he's let her go first and his hand would almost always find an excuse to touch her. For a while, Leland kept his observations to himself; but, when Prince made one of her caustic comments about Natalie being Monk's girlfriend, and the detective snapped back, he just had to pull him aside and find out what was going on.

"Hey, Monk. You got a minute?" Leland asked, as the four of them stood in the squad room.

"I didn't do anything. She started it." Adrian said, glaring down at Alicia after she had disrespected his assistant.

Leland laughed. "I didn't say you did. Figure you kids maybe need a time out from one another and I just want to talk for a minute, if that's okay."

Monk continued staring at Prince but shook his head. "Yeah, sure."

"Good. In my office." Leland replied. "Natalie, could you stay out here for a bit if that's okay? Maybe run over to the crime lab if you don't mind and see if those results in the Towne Street homicide are in."

"Sure thing, Captain." She replied leaving the room, looking back at Prince who threw her a look but continued to work.

Walking into his office, Leland asked Monk to shut the door and offered him a chair.

"What's this about, Captain? Is something wrong?" Monk asked, curiously.

Leland took his yoyo out of his desk and played with it as he leaned back in his chair and looked Monk in the eyes.

"No. Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to catch up with you for a second, find out what's going on." He replied.

"What's going on?" Adrian mused. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"What's going on between, you know, you and Natalie." Leland clarified.

"Me and Natalie?" he asked. "Again, I'm sorry, but I'm not following you."

"Yes, you and Natalie. I've noticed…you've grown... closer the past few weeks. You've been spending a lot of time with her and you seem, I don't know, happier." Leland replied.

Monk gave a shrug of denial. "I'm sorry, but maybe I'm just…you know, a happy guy these days. Trudy's murder has been solved…"

"Three years ago…"

"Yes…and Molly's getting married…"

"Which you detest."

Monk slowed his thoughts down a moment knowing Leland wasn't buying it.

"Yes. I do, detest that. He doesn't deserve her." Monk responded.

"Not your call, and don't try to switch subjects. We are talking about you and Natalie." Leland said, setting the yoyo on his desk. He paused, waiting for Monk to respond.

Adrian sat there for a minute and when he finally could stand it no longer cried out,"What? Why would you assume that my being happier has anything with Natalie. Natalie's a friend."

"Yes."

"A very good friend. Probably my best friend, no offense." he said.

"None taken. It's just, she's been your best friend for a while, but recently...things have changed. You've been touching her." Leland replied.

Monk looked guilty. "So? She touches me all the time. Is it a crime to touch someone?"

"And smiling at her…"

"So, now I can't smile at a friend? I mean, really - Leland!"

"...and looking at her with a similar look that I've only ever seen on your face one other time in your life…"

Monk didn't know what to say. "I...Leland...I mean really...you've been listening to Alicia too much. She's not my girlfriend."

"You could have fooled me." Stottlemeyer replied. "Listen Monk, it's pretty obvious that you've developed feelings for her -feelings that go beyond just friends?"

Monk tried to think of something quickly to show Leland why he was wrong. "Oh, Leland…don't be…I mean…come on. It's Natalie. She's my assistant…and my friend."

"Yes, you've said that."

"And well…it wouldn't be appropriate with me being…I mean…it's Natalieeeee…"

"You're repeating yourself." Stottlemeyer smirked as Adrian shut up and crossed his arms.

"Monk. You and I have known each other for thirty years. I have spent over half that time watching you be miserable just trying to make it through your day. No joy. No happiness. No hope. Natalie came into your life and she quickly became a trusted friend and ally. I have watched her practically live for you day and night and do far more than an employee would or should ever do for an employer. And...I have seen how she's looked at you."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I don't think I have to really answer that, because I think you know, and I think that's why you've kept her at arms length for eleven years, because you know what entertaining those feelings would mean. It certainly wouldn't be safe." Leland replied.

Monk remained silent for a moment as he considered Leland's words. "Well, she never said anything. I think you're misreading her."

"I'm not misreading her. Monk. We never really talked about this, but back when I helped you fake your death...do you know what Natalie was doing?"

"No." he responded.

"She was planning your memorial service and mourning your loss. But, it wasn't like an employee would mourn for a boss. It was like a spouse would mourn the loss of a spouse. She was devastated, Monk. And she went into debt to make sure that your memory would be honored the way that she felt it should be. She threw me out of her house for suggesting it should be done otherwise. Monk, Natalie was your grieving widow, and we treated her as such. It was natural.

And then, when she figured out what really happened and that you were still alive she practically came apart at the news. She wanted to kill me for helping you do it, but she was so happy to hear the news that wild horses or any level of danger couldn't have kept her from going to go see you, and that's a fact. These were not the feelings of an employee to her employer or even a friend to a friend. She loves you, Monk. And, she has for quite some time. And, I believe I'm finally seeing signs that maybe you're being drawn to her as well. And, I'm just wondering what you're planning on doing about it."

Monk lowered his eyes in contemplation. When he looked up at his friend, he knew he had to be honest.

"Listen Leland, I'm...I'm not really sure how I feel right now. I'm trying not to overthink it, because you know how frozen I become when I do that. Maybe...maybe you're right that there are some feelings there. She's an amazing woman. Why wouldn't there be? But, she has Albright."

"A distraction."

"Quite a distraction. They have been dating for three years." he responded.

"Yes, but maybe that just means she gets lonely too. Julie's grown now and the house is quiet. Maybe he's just someone to hang out with."

"Or maybe she loves him." Monk replied. "I...I have to let her make her own decisions and not interfere. I want her to be happy."

"I know you do. But to that, I say two things. One, what choice are you giving her to decide if she doesn't even know you're interested?"

"I didn't say that I was interested..."

"No. But you are." Leland smirked. "And two, it's great you want her to be happy. But is it wrong for you to want to be happy too? And could it just be that maybe you two were meant to be happy...together?"

"Now you're sounding like T.K." Monk quipped.

"Wise woman." Leland smiled. "I'm lucky to have her."

Stottlemeyer reached down for the yoyo and put it in his drawer. "Buddy, you've been in your shell for far too long and you're not getting any younger. I'd hate to watch you let happiness slip away because you're afraid to act."

"Yeah, but look at my competition." he responded. "She's got herself a doctor, a Navy officer, good looking, young, independent. She thinks of me as someone she babysits, and why wouldn't she? I'm still having her cart me around."

"By your choice. What if she saw you becoming more independent? Being able to take care of yourself more so that there was room to take care of her? Women like a man who will be responsible, and Natalie likes you. I'm telling you, it's true."

"I don't know."

"Yeah, well I do. Think about it and consider it. It could just be that lightning has struck the same place twice."

"That's not possible."

"Wrong. It's not likely, but anything is possible. There's a reason she hasn't left you like you've been predicting she would for the past eleven years. Maybe, this is the reason."

Adrian continued to think through everything that Leland had said and was quiet the rest of the day to the point that Natalie thought maybe he either didn't feel well or that Leland had yelled at him for something. When it came time to drop him off, she still felt a tension in the air and thought maybe that he shouldn't be alone. As they sat in her car outside of his apartment that afternoon, she asked him if he had plans for the evening and wanted to come over for dinner and to watch a movie with her. Hearing Leland's voice in his mind saying I'd hate to watch you let happiness slip away because you're afraid, he summonsed up the courage to accept. This pleased her and she told him that she would pick him up around six-thirty that night.

After that, Monk was a nervous wreck. What was really going on here? What were his true feelings regarding Natalie? Occasionally, he would look up at one of Trudy's pictures and ask her what to do, but she didn't come to him in a vision as she used to do, so he was on his own.

At six-twenty, Monk walked up to the mirror and checked out his appearance. This wasn't really a date, so he wasn't sure why he felt nervous, but for some reason, he wanted very much to look good in front of Natalie. Smoothing down his hair, he straightened his lapel and checked his pullover sweater for any lint or imperfection before walking towards his living room to wait for her call. As he passed his dresser, he reached up for his watch and accidentally knocked some books off of the top of the dresser. One of the books that fell was Trudy's childhood diary.

Quickly bending down to pick it up, his thumb stuck in the open page just past where a young Trudy had just finished talking about the death of her dog and her time of mourning. Looking down, he was quickly reminded of her very next entry as his eyes fell upon her words on the page "I still think of Ginger sometimes, but now I just remember the good times. I guess Daddy was right. God wants people to be happy. Nobody can stay sad forever."

Standing up, Monk choked back a tear as he laid the book back on the dresser and touched the photograph of his late wife. He considered what it meant concerning the issue he was debating in his mind and his reasons for denying it before. And then, he realized it was true. He did have feelings for Natalie that went beyond friendship that he needed to sort out. It bothered him that she was dating Albright; and yet, he felt drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She was his light and as long as she was there he felt happy. The thought of being without her made him unhappy. Trudy's diary reminded him of what his late wife would want for him and that was to be happy. And now, he wanted it too.

"Thank you." he stated, looking again at Trudy's photo, grateful for the answer that he knew had come from her.

Immediately, he heard Natalie's keys in his front door.

"Mr. Monnnnk..." her cheerful voice rang out through his hallway.

"Be right there." he said, sniffing and quickly drying his eyes while he looked at himself one more time in the mirror. As he wiped the tear away with his hand he looked at the ring on his left hand, then back over at the photo of Trudy. It was time.

"This doesn't mean I wont' always love you; but, I do want to be happy, and I have to at least try." Making a split second decision, he removed the ring and slipped it into his jacket pocket before turning out the light and heading out to the hallway to meet with Natalie where he would begin what he hoped would be a lovely evening together.