Kuro

"Do you really think that's the best idea?"

My head hung low, not directly looking forward to the streets of Myriad as I walked, nor at the pokemon talking to me. I couldn't particularly get myself to focus on either, so I stopped trying altogether.

"What else would I do?" I replied.

"I don't know, but no matter what put you down like this, you have to realize exactly what you just told me. How can you even think that way to begin with?" His voice was slightly panicked, off guard in a way. I guess I should have expected that he wouldn't be ready for something like this.

"I can't think of anything that would change my mind. I have my set of limited options, and I'm going with one of them. Whichever I think about in the moment."

"So you're leaving something as… sensitive as this to chance?"

"Essentially, yes. The outcome will be the same either way." I just need to think of a proper method.

"You've got to be kidding me…" I heard a loud sigh from my right. "Do you have any idea how valuable your life is?"

"Not very."

"Yes very." A firm grip was placed on one of my shoulders, causing me to stop in my tracks. Hundreds of steps must have been taken by the pokemon surrounding us, all of them minding their own business. "I don't think you have any idea how your choice would affect everyone you associate with. Think about it for a second instead of automatically jumping to the conclusions that are rotating around in your head right now."

"No amount of thinking will change anything." I took a step forward, shrugging off the hand putting pressure on me. "You can't change facts, no matter how hard you think."

"Your definition of a fact is severely flawed, Kuro." I tried to ignore him now, but that didn't stop him from trailing behind me. I wondered briefly if speeding up my walking would help, but I didn't want to bump into anyone. They already had to raise a few eyebrows when it came to my body's condition, no need to ram into them too.

"You need to let go of certain events, you can't let them stay in your head and slowly poison your brain. That's exactly what you're doing right now. Even if I don't know exactly what you're tossing around in there, that much is obvious to me." The voice grew in volume, and before I knew it, he was next to me again. Why did he have to see me wandering?

"It's because you don't know that you'd even suggest that." I was getting close to my destination, but I couldn't walk in there with him on me the whole time.

"Do you honestly think that I've never dealt with other pokemon going through a mental funk similar to yours? I can see the signs. No matter how vague you are about explaining everything, I know how you feel, and I know that you're making a mistake by submitting to-"

"It's not that simple." I interrupted, stopping once more. I was standing in front of the door to a building much larger than the rest in this town. This was the last place I visited before turning my back on where I lived before, and changed my life for the better. I wish it could have lasted longer than it did. Any break from the way I treated life before all that is more welcome than being totally stuck though.

The one talking to me stood behind me, not replying to me for a few moments. The silence was heavy, but I had to make sure he was gone before I walked in. Besides, my destination was closed to anyone who didn't have a Nest symbol somewhere on their body when it was this late. I couldn't let him just stay on me the whole time.

"Is that just it then?" I slowly turned my head, looking behind me, my eyes following his voice. "You're going to ignore everything aside from your narrow thought process, and let yourself follow what you're planning?" I didn't reply, as he pretty much hit the nail on its head. I didn't have much of a choice but to be narrow though. I didn't have options that allowed me to be flexible.

"No listening to reason at all?" He pushed on, trying to get me to talk more, to give him a chance to convince me otherwise. I needed him gone, so I remained silent, and turned back to the door. Please just leave.

Another thick air of silence washed over us. I focused on the sounds of every pokemon around us, walking through the town. It was almost therapeutic, to listen to the movements of others, as opposed to letting others get into my head and mess with me. Whether that was his intention or not, I wasn't sure, but that's exactly what it felt like. Thus, I had no desire to continue our conversation. It was time to wait until he deemed it useless to try and talk to me.

Much to my relief, he did just that.

"If you won't listen, then fine." He sighed once more, this one sounding more disappointed. "I'll beg you then. Please, please think before you do anything idiotic. Think it out thoroughly. That'll set you straight."

I remained unmoving. It was difficult for me to ignore someone, especially for this long, but I wouldn't get him to leave any other way, so I had to stick to it. Almost a full minute passed, and no more remarks came from behind me. Just to make sure his voice wasn't getting lost in the indecipherable chatter from the groups of pokemon all around, I turned my head once again.

This time though, I found nobody.

It was strange, I didn't hear his steps when he left. It was almost as if he vanished. I wasn't worried enough about it to keep it in my head. I pushed on the door I was standing in front of with the top of one of my forepaws. It slid open easily, the door was unlocked and unguarded. I found that odd, but then again, if this place had a reputation, I doubt anyone had very much confidence when it came to breaking in.

My paws clashed with the floor I had only felt the texture of two other times, resulting in a wave of familiarity. The predominantly violet coloring of the building's interior hadn't changed one bit. Everything was exactly the same, so I was able to easily find my way to the front desk on the higher floor. The place was entirely empty, as it was closed. However, there was one pokemon I knew would be here. He spent a lot of time here, as he was required to. There was always a chance that his schedule would get changed, and I would be waltzing to a Raven I had never seen before, but I would take my chances. For once, it looked like I was lucky.

Behind the desk in the center of this mostly vacant room, fiddling with a plant he was clueless about, sat a bisharp. One who I had spent plenty of time communicating with. Likely hearing my paws clash with the ground, his head turned up to me. Never had I seen an expression of shock like the one he showed me upon recognition of my face. He fumbled with the plant he was just messing with, causing it to fall flat on the wide table. He paid the possibly poisonous part of nature no mind, practically leaping over his desk to stand in front of me.

We spent some time looking at one another without words. Realistically, it really hasn't been too long since we saw one another last. I didn't have an exact time frame, but I would say three weeks at the most. I had to admit though, it felt like eons. I felt his eyes trace my body, likely taking in all of the new burns, cuts, and bruises all over me. Strangely enough, it almost seemed as if he was more focused on those injuries than my newly colored eye. Then again, he must have seen a lot during his time working with the Nest, perhaps he's not surprised by things such as this as much as most would be.

I hated how I felt a tug in the center of my chest, a small spark of pain. I thought I had killed these kinds of temptations before I came here, but it looks as if I didn't do a good job. I felt the urge to burst into tears, the urge to just give in and let Core take me back to the Nest. There was still a part of me that wanted to pretend that I could just forget everything and keep on living with everyone. I suppressed it though.

"Am I really looking at you right now..?" Core said quietly, almost as if he was talking to himself. He crouched down, his right only a few inches above mine. Much to my surprise, he chuckled. "I'm not hallucinating, right? You're not a ghost coming to haunt me?"

I slowly shook my head, tempted to sigh. "I'm real." I simply said, my tone sticking close to stoic, but not completely. Emotions had a fun time leaking into my speech.

"You don't say! I'm glad to see you alive and in one piece! I'd hug you, but you seem like you've seen better days." Core smiled down at me with a gentle expression. "We're all still worried sick about you, but now we finally have some good news to hold onto!"

"I don't know if… You have any real good news." I said, not wanting him to continue. There was only so much I could resist.

"What in the world could you be going on about? How is you turning up ALIVE not good news?" Core placed one of his metallic claws on my back softly, as to not irritate any of my wounds. "You coming back to the Nest will help a lot more than you think, I'd call that some pretty damn good news." Core starting laughing again.

I had to look down and grit my teeth. I didn't let him see my expression though. I felt more emotionally conflicted than I had in a very long time, and this conversation had been barely over a minute. I needed to get through this quickly.

"I'm not-" I took a breath. "I'm not planning on coming back." I managed to get out.

Silence washed over the two of us, Core's laughing stopped right as those words left my mouth. I hated the idea that the first time I'm talking to Core in weeks has to have such a sour note, but there's no way for me to say this in a positive manner.

"Look up at me, Kuro." Core said, taking his claw off of my back. I did as commanded, and looked up at him. My expression wasn't showing anything, my face was blank. Or s I thought anyway.

"Tell me where this line of thought is coming from." He said, looking down at me with a stern face. It's been ages since I saw Core, and even longer since I saw him with a serious expression, rather than one of comfort. "I can tell just by looking at you that your head is muddled beyond belief."

I kept eye contact with Core, it didn't look like either one of us had any desire to break it. "I don't deserve to be there." I started. My leg began trembling. I've never said any of this out loud, only thought it in my head. I didn't realize how much harder it was to speak it as opposed to think about it. "It seems like I'm some sort of… target. Staying at the Nest will just draw more hostility there." I gulped, but made sure it wasn't noticeable. "The mission Vero and I were out on before I was taken could have ended much worse than it actually did. The only reason we were in that much danger in the first place was because they were after me. Vero could have died, as could anyone else in that area. All because…" I closed my eyes and shook my head. It didn't prevent me from hearing Core sigh.

"You're a Raven, Kuro. We're all targets of the Void. That's not exclusive to you, all of us are like that." I looked down, finally breaking eye contact.

"This is different. They need something from me, and until I provide it, they'll get more and more forceful with what they do. They might start… putting more pressure on other Ravens because I won't give it to them." I can't just rest in the Nest, especially with Aven and Kai there. It's not practical…

"What do they need of you? Better yet, why wouldn't they just kill you and take it if it was that important to them?" Core then asked.

"It's information. As far as I know, I'm the only one who could provide some sort of answer. It involves something my… dad owned. A gift that was given to him." I took another breath and looked back up at Core. "His-"

"Necklace." He interrupted. "It was made with something that they could use to make enhancements to pokemon in their control, or used to make compounds that'll harm others. I'm well aware." I forgot that he was close to them. "Well, it's not like they would know, but you're not the only one blessed with that information."

"I take it you do too?" I asked, receiving a nod.

"And do you see me abandoning my post because there's a possibility they'll send more forces to us?"

I averted my eyes again. He worded what he said a specific way on purpose.

"They don't know that you have that information though."

"Are you forgetting that I'm at the highest end of the Nest? I'd say I'm an even more valuable target than you to them, and yet, here I am." Even so…

"That's not the only reason I can't come back." I said, before pausing, It seemed like Core was waiting for me to continue. "I shouldn't be there… I'm dangerous, and I don't deserve it. I don't deserve the luxuries that the Nest gives me."

"Dangerous?" Core questioned.

"I… A little while ago, I lost control of myself." I placed my left forepaw over the other, as to calm my trembling as best I could. "I-I let someone die. I couldn't save them, and I just… I lost it. I lost my mind and attacked the ones that killed him… and killed them too. Both of them." I felt a lump in my throat as soon as I said that. I tried my best to blank the flashbacks.

Another space of awkward silence took place. "I didn't think you had it in you." Core said, standing up straight. "Why though, is that something to hold you back from coming back to the Nest? That doesn't make much sense." How can it not make sense..?

I collected my thoughts. "What do you mean? I… I just killed two pokemon in cold blood. How can I be fit to be a Raven..?"

"I doubt you just went out, got angry, and killed a few pokemon because of it. You're leaving out details. You said you 'let' someone die. Elaborate." I took a few moments to collect myself. I still haven't looked back on what happened back there much. I wanted to avoid it as much as possible.

"I-I ended up in this icy cavern I've never been to before. I don't know how I got there, but there's a group of pokemon living in it. They told me they were nomads." I went on to explain some of the pokemon I met there, namely Tsu, and Jewel. After that, I finally talked a little bit about Ethos. I told him how two members of the Void showed up, and that I had recognized both of them. I went into all of the events that led up to me losing my mind, including Ethos getting killed in the crossfire of the conflict. If I thought it was hard for me to keep up my stoic demeanor before, now it was nearly impossible.

Core listened to me without interruption, he let me go on and on until I had finally gone through all of the motions.

"You're not making any sense." He shook his head. "You killed two Void members, two that would likely go on to harm more than just you and the nomads living in the area you found yourself in. Not only that, but you did it in response to them murdering a young, innocent pokemon."

"That doesn't matter!" I took a few steps back, raising my voice. "I shouldn't have done that… I knew that at the time, and I still did it. I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I still didn't hold back. I can't be around others…"

"Do you honestly think that I've never killed anyone? Or better yet, that your parents haven't killed anyone?"

I froze for just a second, slowly turning my head up to Core. I had never really thought about that, whatever my parents did at the Nest while they were Ravens.

"You didn't see your parents as uncontrollable killers, did you? By your logic, the two of them were murderous fiends who should have stayed far away from the Nest. By your logic, I shouldn't be second in command in the Nest, I should banish myself." Core put one of his claws against his head, looking a bit disappointed. "Do you see what I mean? You haven't done anything-"

"That's not true." I interrupted. "I don't deserve to be around everyone I've met at the Nest. I don't trust myself… I can't be close to them if I do things like this…"

"You seriously don't get what you're saying." Core leaned back down to me, and grabbed my head with his claw, forcing me to stare at him. "So you're just going to leave your friends behind? You've been on missions with them, you've bonded with them, hell, you're practically raising one of them. And you're just going to leave? You're going to abandon them? You're going to abandon your partner?"

"They're better off without me." I said, turning away from Core. "I shouldn't be around any of them…" I began walking away. I couldn't stay here any longer. I'd start to break down.

"I never thought I would hear you say something so stupid…" Core said, sounding irritated. I ignored him, and kept walking forward. I made it to the top of the staircase that led me up here, ready to leave. If I looked back, I'd be too tempted to stop, so I had to keep moving.

Before I could walk down even one step, a powerful force connected with the back of my head. My vision blacked out for a second, and was then overloaded with the bright colors of this building. I flipped my position in the air, and my back slammed against one of the pillars connecting the first floor to the second, and the wind was knocked out of me. I slowly slumped to the ground, an ache coursing through my whole body. I fell on my side once I hit the floor, stunned.

Each of Core's footsteps seemed to echo as he trudged down towards me, step by step. I caught a glimpse of his face, but couldn't place an expression. He looked torn, his face was somewhere between upset and angry. No doubt, both of those feelings were directed towards me. Hence him smacking me in the back of my head hard enough to nearly make me lose consciousness on the spot.

As soon as he was standing above me, Core reached down and picked me up by my neck, squeezing more intensely than I was ready for. I dryly coughed, feeling my air supply slowly tighten.

"You know, as naive as you might have been when I first met you, I thought you could change. I thought that being around others who could understand you for long enough would change your ridiculous mindset." His grip around my neck tightened more. I started waving my hind legs involuntarily. "It's almost like you're actively trying to prove me wrong."

I squirmed around within Core's grip, but it was too much for me to break free from, or even come close at that. I placed my forepaws on his arms and tried to pry him off of me, but it didn't help in the slightest. I was stuck. I couldn't move one bit.

"How is it that; you can spend all the time in the world with the pokemon you met within the Nest, and not notice? How can't you notice just how important you are to them? To everyone you've met there?" Because I'm not important. If all I bring about is danger, then I'm far from importance. I wish I could say that out loud, but I couldn't. Even if Core's claw wasn't tightened around my neck, I don't think I could.

"Your life has value. I get that something in your head is preventing you from seeing that, but it does. If your life didn't mean anything to anyone, why would I even go through the trouble of saying this to you? Why would we keep your space in the Nest free instead of replace you without asking questions? Why would your mentor specifically ask me if we could go out and try to find you?" What..?

"And of course, why in the hell would Naru be having a mental breakdown every second you're gone?" That last question made some of my struggling slow down. I've been trying to keep that out of my head, how she's been all this time. That's the one thing I always did my very best to avoid. Thinking about it never helped me, only made me into a guilt-ridden mess.

"Did you assume that spending time with others, living and talking with them, going out on tasks together, everything you've done with one another, is just a memory that means nothing to them? Do you think that others can't be attached to you?" Core let out an annoyed sigh. His claw loosened the slightest bit around my neck, hardly enough for me to notice though. "Anyone that you've had an impact on cares for you. Some of them care for you a lot more than you likely think. If you vanish and don't come back, if you leave them, they won't take it straight faced. Especially the ones you've lived with during your time at the Nest. Whether you like to admit it or not, by willingly not coming back, you'll be hurting them. Maybe even worse than that."

I stopped resisting Core's grip. He took every single doubt I've had for the longest time, and shoved them right in my face. I pushed down every reason I might have had to go back to the Nest instead of leaving for good. Yet, Core reminded me of all of them. I never, under any circumstance, wanted to leave everyone. I used those reasons as a buffer to force myself to do it, so nobody else would get hurt. But, my presence wouldn't really have any bearing on that, would it? The Void still exists, and whether they want to capture me for information or not, that wouldn't change their rivalry with the Nest. That wouldn't change the ongoing war between the two, or the amount of pokemon that get captured and killed because of the conflict. I didn't realize how powerful an emotion fear could be. I had no clue it would ever cause me to go as far as I was about to.

Core released the pressure around my neck, and I dropped to the ground, landing on my side. I coughed and brought a paw to my throat, taking in as much air as I could. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a mark under my fur where Core was just holding me by. I wasn't expecting him to do something like that, or strike the back of my head for that matter. He had a point to make though, and he certainty showed me what that was. Even so, I have a hard time fully agreeing with it.

"You know, I don't have control over you. But that doesn't mean I can't try my best to convince you that whatever you're planning is wrong. I don't even need details. I probably don't want to hear them on second thought." Core took a step back as I took a second to collect myself. I pushed off of the ground, standing on shaky legs. My head and the part of my back that connected with the pillar in here weren't feeling too great.

"W-What if you're wrong though? And I just bring more harm to the Nest, without being able to help them?" I asked, my voice a little scratchy.

"Don't worry about that. Did you not feel me hit you? I don't think the Ravens are who you should be concerned for." Core gave a cocky chuckle. It was forced, but there was truth behind his words. "I'm not the only one there either. Our two groups have been at each other's throats for quite a while now, they know what I'm capable of, as well as the other higher ups at the Nest. Just so you know, if they thought they could just walk in and kill us all, they would have done it ages ago. They haven't though, because they know it would be a suicidal move."

"And if circumstances change..?" I asked, turning my head to look up at Core.

"They won't. The Void can't just come after us with brute force. Especially not with the confidence they would need to win a head to head fight with us." That's unconvincing… "You know, you're a pretty exceptional asset to us, especially for someone who started as recently as you did. You did just survive wherever the Void took you, how many pokemon do you think can say the same? If anything, you being gone would make it even easier for the Void to cause problems. I'd say you can become a great threat to them."

"You're overexxagerating." I looked back down to the ground. "I don't even know how I got out. I couldn't do it again willingly."

"You still did it though. Just because you can't repeat those actions right now doesn't mean you'll never be able to."

I didn't reply to Core immediately. I was still unsure of myself. I had no clue what the right decision was.

"Let me make a proposition for you." Core took a breath. "I'll take you back to the Nest, but at your request, I'll resolve you of your position at any time, and send you on your way. I want you to try, if anything at all."

"If I accept that offer, I'll likely just leave as soon as I get there you know." It would be an easy way out, I wouldn't have to argue with Core and I still get to separate myself.

"Be careful, I know I don't have you hooked yet. However, if you listen to me and try coming back at the very least, I guarantee you won't want to leave anymore."

"That doesn't sound practical." I spent such a long time convincing myself that leaving and never willingly coming back is the right choice to make. My mentality changing on a dime like that; There's no way.

"Maybe not, who knows?" Core shrugged. "But I wouldn't forgive myself if I just watched you walk away here. I don't think Storm or Blade would forgive me either." He muttered that last part, I only barely caught it. I wish I hadn't though.

"What do they have to do with any of this at all?" I asked, my voice quivering. I was trying really hard to resist asking, but I couldn't help it.

"They don't have anything directly to do with this. But when the kid of two of the best friends you had is about to make a stupid choice: It would be an insult to them for me to ignore it." He gave an awkward chuckle. "It wouldn't be the first time they got mad at me for something, but I feel like this would be a lot worse."

"They've been mad at you..? I can't imagine either of them raising their voices."

"You can't? Let me tell you, I certainly can." Core laughed to himself. "Especially Storm. Yelling didn't match her demeanor, but that just made it all the more terrifying when she lost her cool. The only solace is that she never got physical with her anger. I very well could have a few broken limbs if she had." For some reason, thinking about my mom yelling amused me. Maybe because of how foreign it seemed. She never yelled at me, not once. "Granted, she probably had a lot more of a probable cause to yell at Blade than me, yet he got off scott free. She was way too merciful to him."

"What reason would she have to get mad at him?" Again, I never saw them irritated with one another, not a single time.

"You dad was a massive klutz. He also had a very hard time doing simple tasks, and excelled in all of the complex ones. He was extremely bright, even if he used a lot of his attentive attitude for exploring myths. Most of the tasks he screwed up were simple and easy, and usually made it so Storm had to cover for him. Without her, I'm not sure how Blade would even set a schedule for himself." Core let out another chuckle.

"I kind of knew that bit already." I thought back to when I was recently near my old home. Fixing up old traps that my dad didn't set properly was honestly a great thing to distract myself, maybe that's just another reason to thank him in the end. Even though he's been gone for so long.

"He probably couldn't hide that part of himself around you, as much as he wanted to. You mom cleaned up after a lot his messes though, they made a great pair." Core's tone shifted back to what it was when we first started talking. Gentle. "You and Naru are almost reflections of them sometimes, I swear. It's funny to see how much you took from your parents, both of them." I can't draw any parallels…

I didn't immediately respond to Core. I was suddenly wrapped up in thinking about my parents now. I always liked hearing more about them, no matter what it might have been. I wish I was able to listen to a narration of their lives, all the way up until the end. Sadly, the only ones who could provide that are the two in question.

"I know this is off topic, but what exactly happened to your left eye?" Core curiously asked, breaking me out of my small trance.

"Long story short, I can't see out of it anymore. Thank the Void for that."

"I see. Well, how about you tell me about all of the possible injuries they gave you on the way back to the Nest? I can prepare treatment for you when you actually get there, also arrange an examination, just to make sure you're in the clear." On the way back…

"I'll tell you whatever I remember. Although I don't even know the exact amount of time I was there."

"Any intel is better than none, whatever keeps your body from breaking. Or getting infected, your wounds haven't been properly treated, even though they don't look like they're buggin you much." I nodded.

"I didn't really have the time to treat them." Does that mean Tsu didn't treat them properly?

"Well, we can take care of that!" Core turned around, looking up the staircase he had tossed me down not too long ago. "Shall we head on our way?"

I silently nodded once more, though a bit hesitant. I suppose that was my way of saying yes to Core's offer. He began walking up the stairs, and I followed.

"So, let's start with the obvious question. What caused your half-blindness?"

I prepared myself to answer all of Cores questions. That was the newest thing to distract me from my fear.

Hello Readers!

So I'm typing this in the dining hall, and it's SO COLD IN HERE I SWEAR-

Numb hands won't cause more typos, right? Probably will.

Anyways though, I hope you enjoy the chapter! I actually got this one out in a decent time frame, and seeing as I have an actual schedule for working and classes now, I can find more time to type this and not have panic attacks over the Resident Evil 2 remake! :D (Though I seriously recommend it, it's great, even if parts are disturbing and terrifying)

Look forward to future updates, hopefully a bit quicker too!

See You Next Chapter!