Kneeling down in front of him she looked into his eyes and the distress in them was obvious. "Elnor, I am sorry you had to see that."
He paused for a second or two beforehand but nodded. "Why is it so cold in here?" he quietly asked.
"You are in shock," she told him. She reached across the cabin and grabbed a blanket from a small cubby in the bulkhead. Then she stood up and wrapped it around his shoulders. He reached out his hand and gently touched the bloody wound on her abdomen.
"You're injured," he said.
"Do not be concerned," she replied. "I heal very quickly. It will be gone by tomorrow." She moved around him and disappeared briefly into the ship's berth. When she returned, she handed him a round, squat glass filled halfway with a clear liquid. "Here, drink this," she told him.
He took a sip and recoiled. "It tastes awful."
"Gulp it down quickly, it will help," she assured him.
He sniffed the glass, and scrunched up his nose but did as he was told. "What was that?" he asked, shuddering at the aftertaste.
"Gin," she said. "It always works for me." She tilted his face to the side examining first the bruise on his jaw and then the scrapes over his eye. She used the wet cloth in her other hand to meticulously clean the grime and blood from his face. "This looks painful," she observed referring to the bruise on his jaw. "Are any of your teeth broken?"
"I don't think so," he replied.
She nodded, "The wounds on your face do not appear to be too bad otherwise. I am guessing most of this blood is not yours. Do you have any other injuries?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "But it hurts to breathe."
Kneeling down again she moved one side of the blanket away and pressed gently on his sides. First one then the other. He winced, taking in a sharp breath. She frowned and looked him in the eyes.
"I am going to need to remove your jacket and tunic," she told him. "We will have to take off your sword." He nodded, unsure, but complied, and allowed her to lift off his scabbard. Raising his arm caused more pain to shoot down his side and he flinched again. The Feeonix continued to knit her brow as she unfastened his belt and jacket, and tugged his tunic loose. He tensed when she moved to slide her hand around his torso and stopped her.
"I haven't ever-I mean-I don't-" he stumbled over finding the right words. She drew her hand away and sat back on her haunches.
She couldn't remember having ever encountered a young man who had resisted being touched by her before. It shocked her but she didn't want to upset him any further so she made sure to keep her expression neutral. Perhaps he was more traumatized than she initially thought. She knew she needed to check his physical injuries foremost so any psychological damage would have to wait.
She inhaled a deep breath and regained eye contact with him. "Elnor, I am not sure what you believe is happening here but I would like to make it very clear that I am not going to hurt you," she said gently. "I believe you have broken ribs, and if I do not at least assess how badly they are broken, one of them could puncture your lung. I am neither equipped nor qualified to handle a medical emergency of that sort." He lowered his eyes as she continued. "I know you are experiencing unfamiliar sensations and perhaps feelings as well. It is because I emit an energy field that affects other humanoid species. It is making you feel uncomfortable right now but you will get used to it, I promise."
He was still in a lot of pain so after taking a few seconds to think about it he finally nodded and released her hand.
"Alright," she said, "slide yourself forward a little and sit up straight." As carefully as she could she eased his jacket off, let it slump down around him, and pulled his tunic over his head. She gingerly lifted his arm up and positioned it out of her way.
He'd never had a serious injury before and he was in pain. That made him afraid. He'd also never been so isolated with someone he didn't know before. That made him afraid too. He had seen firsthand what she was capable of and he wasn't confident he'd be able to put up much of a fight if it came down to it. He'd perhaps foolishly allowed her to disarm him and now he was half-naked and trapped. He felt helpless. If he let her touch him, would she set him on fire too?
She pressed her fingertips along his side while keeping her other hand on his back.
He braced himself for more pain but it didn't come. He was surprised at how comforting her hands felt and there was a warmth coming from them. He felt it sink into his flesh easing both his sore muscles and his other aches. It seemed to be in his blood, circulating through every inch of his body, making his scalp, and fingertips tingle but it still wasn't quite enough to completely eliminate the lingering reticence.
He let out a whimper when she hit the damaged bones. She hovered her fingers over the tender spot and fiddled around in a drawer next to her until she found the instrument she was looking for. She turned the device on and it let out several consecutive high pitched beeps. She frowned at it and gave it a shake before she smacked it against her palm a few times. It beeped again and she seemed satisfied that it was working.
"I really need to get some updated equipment for this bucket," she muttered to herself as she circled the device around on his skin for several minutes.
He noticed she was stroking her free hand across his back as if she were comforting a small child but she didn't seem to realize she was doing it. She was too focused on his ribs to notice him quietly studying her face still trying to decide if she was friend or foe, wondering a thousand things about her but still too afraid to ask. She was being very kind to him but he remained unsure if it was because she wanted something from him or perhaps she just enjoyed playing mind games with anyone who happened to cross her path. He remembered the things Picard told him about Naseema. Her passive nature, her patience, and her ancient wisdom. The old man clearly loved and admired her, and he loved and admired Picard but he wasn't sure this Feeonix was Naseema. She still hadn't told him her name.
"I am pretty sure they are only fractures," she said as she finished up. "If they were more serious breaks, I believe you would be having more difficulty breathing, and in a great deal more pain. It does not appear you have any other internal injuries either. This should do the trick. Although, you will likely have an ugly bruise there by tomorrow and you will almost certainly feel sore for a few days. I would forgo the belt for the night, if I were you, and you may wish to avoid being kicked in the ribs for a while."
"I think I wish to avoid that forever," he replied and she gave him a sympathetic smile which made him feel a little better.
"You can put your clothes back on," she told him as she tossed the instrument back into its drawer and heading into the berth again.
By the time he finished re-dressing himself and deciding against refastening his belt she still hadn't returned so he wandered into the rear of the ship to see what she was doing. Her jacket was laying on a chair and she was standing in front of a mirror with her shirt hiked up examining the nasty wound in her abdomen.
He lurked in the doorway until she said, "It is alright, you can come in." He picked her jacket up from the chair, sat down, and held it in his lap. "Damn it," she muttered to herself. "It is deeper than I thought." She let out an exasperated sigh before opening another drawer and removing a small box. "Come over here and hold this for me," she said. He got to his feet, put her jacket down, and accepted the box. It was filled with manual sewing supplies. She pulled out a short, thin needle, and a spool of thread.
"What are you going to do?" he asked.
"I am going to stitch this wound closed," she replied tearing off a length of thread and slipping it through the needle's eye. "Pass me that," she said motioning to a bottle behind him. He set the box down next to it and handed her the requested item. She took a long swig from it and then passed it back to him. He returned it to its place and watched with interest as she pulled in a deep breath before she grit her teeth, and pushing the needle into her flesh.
His eyes widened with shock when he realized what she was doing. "Doesn't that hurt?" he asked, incredulous.
"Yes, it does," she replied. "It hurts a lot."
"I thought you said you would heal quickly?"
"I will but not before I bleed all over everything."
"Why don't you use that other thing?" he continued. "The one you used to fix me?"
"That was a knitter," she told him. "It is for repairing bone,
and most modern medical technology, even an old beater like that thing, is not compatible with my physiology so I am left resorting to antiquated methods such as this."
"Oh." His concerned expression didn't escape her.
"It may appear bad but I have been through much worse," she assured him. "I have had been stabbed, shot, and broken more bones than I can remember. I have even been burned at the stake."
"You sound a little accident-prone," he said.
"I suppose that is a fair assessment," she laughed. "I have certainly been accused of recklessness and not unreasonably so."
"How does someone get burned at the stake, anyway?" he asked.
"The answer to that depends on which instance you are referring to," she replied.
"It happened more than once?!" he exclaimed. "I take it back. You're not accident-prone, you're crazy!"
She laughed even harder and winced as it caused her to tug at her wound. "I have been accused of that many times as well also not unreasonably so."
"Perhaps you need a protector," he suggested.
"Are you offering to provide that service?" she asked, still amused.
"Maybe I am." His eyes widened as soon as the words were out of his mouth, and he was glad she wasn't looking at him.
Why did he say that and why did he feel so drawn in by this alien? He watched her take an entire squadron of disruptor fire and turn a man into a bonfire. She clearly didn't need protecting and yet he could sense a profound vulnerability about her. There was a deep wound inside her. Ancient and still festering. When she put her hand on him earlier and he felt the warm energy coming from her, he'd been able to feel other things too. Just glances but they were there. Sadness, desperation, loneliness, grief. Outwardly, she seemed fearless but he could see it was a facade. His own feelings about her kept fluctuating between fascination and an almost overwhelming fear. He'd always been able to maintain a strict focus but right now, he couldn't stop his thoughts bouncing from one extreme to the other. It was frustrating and depleting what strength he had left. He was starting to feel unwell.
"That is very sweet," she told him with a chuckle. "But I do not think I can subject you to such vexation. I am a difficult person to deal with." She finished running the last stitch through, knotted the thread, and tore the needle free. She took a quick glance at him and he suddenly appeared confused, and upset. "What is wrong?" she asked and touched his arm. "Are you still in pain? Do you feel ill?"
"I don't understand how you can do the things you can do!" he said abruptly, the timbre of his voice rising.
He is definitely upset.
He'd never felt like this before. He did feel safe here but he couldn't seem to shut the fear off. He'd never seen the sort of violence she was capable of. He deeply regretted his decision to stay on the Borg cube. He failed to help Hugh and he was failing Picard too. He felt guilty, useless...lost. He didn't know where this alien was taking him. His whole body hurt. He was tired, dizzy, and defeated. He knew all those feelings were about to spill out of him all at once and he didn't know how she would react. He didn't want to make her angry. He was sure he was about to throw up.
"I do not understand," she said. "What do you mean the things I can do?"
"How can you move so fast and fight so many enemies all at once?" he continued. "How can you be shot and stabbed, and not be hurt? How can you create fire out of nothing? Where are we going and why did-why did you bring me here?"
She stared at him alarmed and then he started to list to one side. She gripped his arm to steady him just as his knees buckled. "Whoa! Elnor! Hold onto me!" she commanded, grabbing him with both hands to keep him from hitting the floor. Still conscious, he held onto her shoulder as she slid herself under his arm and leaned him against her. She eased him back into the cabin and into his chair.
"I don't feel well," he whispered and she heard the catch in his throat.
He was dangerously close to tears or vomiting and she didn't particularly want to deal with either of those.
She crouched down in front of him, examined his eyes, and felt his cheek with the back of her hand. She slid her other hand underneath his and held it.
He found the action strangely welcome considering how he'd been feeling about her a minute ago. He was so confused. He wanted her to help him yet he didn't. He felt sick. He wanted his mind to stop churning out so many contradictory feelings.
"When was the last time you ate anything?" she asked. He didn't feel feverish and she was confident he didn't have a concussion so a marked drop in blood sugar seemed like a likely suspect.
She wondered how long he'd been on that cube before she found him.
"It was a few days ago," he replied.
"I think that might be your problem. Let me get you something to eat," she suggested. "Is there anything you prefer?"
Elnor shook his head. "I can't think of anything,"
Suddenly, the prospect of food was turning the tide in her favour, and when she held his hand that strange, calm feeling inside him returned. It sought out every crevice like a welcome hug from inside. He finally decided to drop his guard completely and let that feeling settle in. When he did it allowed him to sharpen his focus. He went over the events again one at a time. She rescued him from the Borg cube, she treated his injuries, she was kind and gentle with him, and she was offering him food. She wanted to help him. He decided to take the risk and extend a little trust.
"Well, I think I know what will hit the spot," she said giving him a friendly smile. She went to the small replicator and when she returned, she handed him a plate of toast, meat, and fluffy yellow chunks.
He tasted it and his eyes brightened. "This is good! What is it?"
"Scrambled eggs," she replied and handed him a glass of water. "Something humans call comfort food."
She hoped the food would help settle him. She could tell he was not himself. It made her concerned for him. He was so young and she guessed he wasn't used to having to process so many emotions all at once. She'd been impressed with his combat skills. He was elegant and well trained but she suspected he was inexperienced outside of situations he could control. She felt terrible that he witnessed her unleash the predator on another and she was worried she was compounding his trauma with her own anxiety. He appeared to be affected by her feelings and if she could keep her energy field in a calming state he would be able to relax, and trust her.
"Are you from Earth?" he asked. "I don't know very much about Feeonix and you still haven't told me your name."
"Sort of," she replied. "And you were correct. I am Naseema. Did Jean-Luc tell you about me?"
"Yes, he told me that you were the love of Data's life," he said between mouth-fulls. Naseema went silent and dropped her eyes. Elnor stopped eating. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked.
She shrugged it off and met his gaze again. "No, you didn't say anything wrong. It has just been a very long time since I have thought about that time in my life and I am not sure I am ready to go back there at the moment. Perhaps another time." She rubbed her palm with her opposite thumb and shifted uncomfortably in her chair before asking, "What else did Jean-Luc tell you about me?"
"He told me that you were very old," he replied, shoveling another spoonful of eggs into his mouth.
Naseema laughed, "Of course he did."
"I don't think you look very old though," he added.
"Well, you certainly are a silver-tongued devil," she laughed again and elicited a pleased grin from the young Romulan.
He didn't know what a silver-tongued devil was but he could tell she meant it as a compliment.
"Believe it or not, I am one thousand five hundred and fifty-three years old."
His eyes grew wide with disbelief. "You are not!" he declared. "Nobody lives that long!"
When Picard told him stories of Naseema, the old man never specified her exact age. He assumed she was a few hundred years old, at most, and would wear her years more obviously. He never expected to ever meet her in the first place and he absolutely did not expect her to look the way she did. She didn't look any older than he was and while Picard had told him that all the Feeonix were beautiful that word didn't quite do her justice. Her face was framed by a trail of colourful, shining scales that looked like jewels embedded in her skin, and they continued down her neck until the trail disappeared beneath her clothes. He wondered if her entire body was covered with them but knew better than to ask such a question. Equally bright, colourful feathers sprouted from her hairline. Long and thin they seemed to float just above her hair. It looked like she was wearing a crown. She had the largest eyes he'd ever seen. They were pools of glowing blue light and that strange light radiated from her entire person. She had an otherworldly quality and he could only imagine the vastness of her knowledge.
"I will likely live a great deal longer," she said. "Members of my species can live for hundreds of thousands of years."
"Picard didn't tell me that!" Elnor exclaimed as he finished his plate and looked around for somewhere to put it. Naseema extended her arm and he handed it to her. She deposited it back in the replicator but paused to ask if he was still hungry.
"No, thank you," he replied. "I feel much better."The food had soothed his stomach and his body ached less. He was also becoming rather intrigued by his strange, alien liberator, and wanted to know more.
She gave him a smile and a nod. Then she went into the berth and returned with two glasses and the bottle she drank out of earlier. She poured some of the clear liquid into each glass and handed one to her companion.
"What is it?" he asked.
"A celebration," she replied.
"Celebration?" he asked with a puzzled expression. "What are we celebrating?"
"We are celebrating the fact that we lived to fight another day," she said and raised her glass towards him before she downed its contents in one gulp. Still puzzled, he mimicked her actions and downed the liquid but shuddered afterward. "Another?" she asked. He gave her an affirming shrug and extended his glass towards her. She topped his up first and then her own.
"Will you answer my questions now?" he asked and took a drink from his glass.
"Which questions would you like answers to?"
"The ones I asked before I..." he trailed off, unsure of how to finish his sentence.
"Before you nearly fainted from starvation?" she suggested.
"Yes," he confirmed self-consciously.
"There is no reason to be embarrassed," she assured him. "Borg cubes are, at their best, frightening places and you have been through a lot," she continued. "I can tell you are a formidable swordsman but I suspect that today was the first time you have ever been in a situation like that. So heavily outnumbered, all alone, and far away from your home."
"Yes," he admitted.
"You are still very young and misadventures are part of exploring the world beyond the places where we feel safe. You have done nothing wrong. I have been there before as well," she said.
"But you are so capable and strong," he argued. "More than I am."
"I have been very close to death many times in my life and I have learned from those experiences. My age is a big part of the reason I am so capable," she explained. "I have more than fifteen hundred years of military experience. It is true that I am stronger and faster than most humanoids, and that does give me an advantage but most of what I can do has been learned. You can learn it too. You do not need to possess superior size or strength to defeat an enemy."
"Can you teach me to use fire like you can?" he asked.
"That, I cannot teach you. That is an ability only the Feeonix have and it is something we have to learn to control when we choose to take this form," she replied. "We are naturally very emotional beings and if we do not control those emotions they are capable of unleashing very powerful, and very destructive discharges of concentrated energy."
He looked at her quizzically. "I don't understand what you mean by this form? Can you change it to look like someone else?"
"I have encountered other species who are capable of that but I am not one of them," she said. "I cannot change the way my humanoid body looks any more than you can but I am not a flesh and blood person in the way you are. I can create a body like yours to interact with you but I am an energy-based entity. If I were to revert to my true form all you would see is a ribbon of light and we would be unable to communicate with each other."
"Can you show me?" he asked.
"If I were to do that, I would destroy this ship," she replied with a rueful smile. "I take up quite a bit more space in my natural state and this little ship was not designed to contain that amount of raw energy."
"Well, I don't want you to destroy your ship," he replied with a hint of disappointment in his voice. "Can you tell me about your energy field?"
"What would you like to know?"
"What does it do?"
"It surrounds my entire body," she explained. "I can use it to manipulate other sources of energy. When I focus, I can use it to create a feeling of calm for those around me and it also causes the majority of humanoid males to...feel things."
She was curious about his earlier reaction to her but she wasn't sure how to broach the topic with him. She didn't want him to feel self-conscious nor did she wish to encourage unwanted overtures. Perhaps if she let him lead himself there she could find out if he was somehow insulated against the usual effect of her energy field without having to ask outright if he was experiencing an inexplicable desire to sleep with her.
"What kind of things does it make them feel?" he asked.
"Sexual attraction usually," she replied, giving him a sideways look.
It hadn't occurred to her that he wouldn't recognize sexual urges when he experienced them. She was aware that many religious orders practiced lifelong abstinence but she was admittedly confounded that he didn't seem to have any idea at all what she was talking about.
"I must admit most males do not feel comfortable discussing such feelings. Are you not experiencing any?"
"I don't know," he replied after he thought about it for a second or two. "I'm not sure I would know if I was having them."
Her spine straightened in surprise.
Wow, he really didn't know enough to recognize those feelings. She had not expected that and she had also not expected such honest candor from him. In her experience, even the most candid young men did not care to discuss their intimate urges and feelings with anyone nevermind a stranger. She wondered if this openness was an aspect of his upbringing under the Qowat Milat. She had heard of the Romulan order of warrior nuns before but she didn't know much about them. Still, it seemed odd to her that if his training revolved around such forthrightness the concept would also apply to discussions of sexuality.
"That is a remarkably honest answer, Elnor, and I suppose it makes perfect sense," she said. "You are Qowat Milat and that is a religious order correct?"
"Yes, I was raised by the sisters on Vashti," he told her. "They taught me their philosophies and trained me in the art of the tan qalanq but I can't ever really be one of them."
"No boys allowed, huh?"
"No," he replied.
"That must have been very lonely for you," she surmised and furrowed her brow. "Growing up without any true sense of belonging. How was it that you came to meet Jean-Luc Picard?"
"The sisters who took me in were helping with the Romulan relocation," he replied finishing his drink and since he was feeling pretty good at the moment he allowed her to pour him another. "He used to visit a lot when I was little and it was almost like having a father but then the attack on Mars happened, and he had to leave. He told me he would be back soon but I didn't see him again until recently."
Her eyes widened with shock and she had to choke back the biting comment she wanted to make.
She couldn't deny that Jean-Luc was a great man but he could certainly be an emotionally crippled dolt at times. She could tell the young Romulan loved him and then he just fucked off for years without so much as a word. She did the math and guessed he had effectively abandoned Elnor for nearly fifteen years.
"Why did he come back for you after all that time?" she asked and anticipated an answer that would piss her off. She was not disappointed.
"He needed my help to find Soji," Elnor explained, "He said he was an old man and I was a young one, and he needed my strength, and courage so I became as his qalankhkai."
"So you are his bodyguard?"
"Yes."
"You are a more forgiving person than I am because I do not know if I would have been so willing," she said.
"I said no at first," he admitted. "I believed he had only returned because he wanted something from me and I only had value to him as a fighter. I was very hurt."
"That is understandable," she said and leaned forward in her seat. "Why did you change your mind?"
"Zani told me that it might be my only chance to leave Vashti," he said. "She said she wanted to see me live."
"She must love you very much."
"She does," he replied. "She is the closest thing I have to a mother and I love her too."
Naseema smiled meeting him she felt her own impulses to protect begin to stir. It warmed her heart to know that he had not been completely alone after Picard deserted him. "Well, I am sorry about the circumstances under which we met but I am glad you decided to leave Vashti. I can feel that you are special, Elnor, and I am glad to have met you," she told him.
He smiled and flushed a little. "I'm glad I met you too," he replied and more quietly he added, "and I am very glad you rescued me."
"I am also very glad I rescued you. I have spent a great deal of time alone over the years and it is nice to have your company." She poured herself another drink and slid back in her chair.
There was something about this young man that was drawing her in. Something bewitchingly familiar in his eyes. She couldn't stave off her curiosity any longer and their conversation had diverged from the information she sought. If she was going to sate the nagging need to know she was going to have to bite the bullet and take the direct approach.
"May I ask you something?
"Yes," he said. "I like talking to you."
"Please do not misinterpret my interest here but since you told me you are unsure of how my energy field makes you feel I am curious as to why you stopped me from touching you earlier?" she asked.
She knew it was a very forward question but she just couldn't help herself. She had met religious men before that didn't let their commitment to their faith stop them from propositioning her and men as young as Elnor usually lasted less than an hour before their libidos got the better of them. Especially, in such close quarters but he had actually stopped her from touching him. He genuinely seemed to be unaffected by her that way and in fifteen hundred and fifty-three years it was only the second time that ever happened.
He didn't say anything at first but she watched his body language closely and he didn't appear to be squeamish about her question. "If it makes you uncomfortable do not feel as though you have to answer," she clarified. "I am not trying anything I am simply curious."
"What does that mean?" he asked. "What are you not trying to do?"
Now, she was the one who was uncomfortable. She should have just left well enough alone but it was too late. She had not just opened the door, she'd kicked it clean off its hinges, and felt obligated to answer him.
"I am not trying to get in your pants."
As soon as she said it she regretted it. What the hell was the matter with her? Was she really that out of practice interacting with anybody but Jagger? If he didn't understand what 'trying anything' meant why did she expect him to understand 'getting in your pants'? She was annoyed with herself and then she took a mental count of how many drinks she'd had...and how many she'd given Elnor. Fuck.
She forced herself to look at him.
He was frowning to himself. "Your questions are very confusing. What is in my pants?" he asked and almost instantly put it together. His eyes grew wide with shock. "Oh-you meant-OH!" he exclaimed. He straightened his posture and eyed her warily. "Do you mean what I think you mean?"
He had the birds and the bees explained to him but he was still unclear on all the nuances. Was she asking him for lovemaking or did she think that was what he wanted from her?
She had to stop herself from asking him what he thought she meant. She needed to end this humiliating debacle so she simply said, "Yes." She brought her hands up to her face and sighed, "I am sorry. I handled this very badly. You do not have to answer the question." When she dropped her hands he was wearing an amused grin.
He realized she was concerned her energy field was causing him to, as she put it, 'feel certain things', and she wanted to make sure he wasn't getting the wrong idea. He could admit that being around her made him feel good but he was not interested in pursuing sexual intimacy with her.
"I know what sex is and I didn't think that."
She let out another sigh, this time out of relief.
She was really disappointed in herself. Her question was completely out of line and she shouldn't have let her curiosity overpower her better judgment. She was far too accustomed to not having to communicate with others. She couldn't believe she had to remind herself that his intimate thoughts were none of her concern. No matter who he reminded her of.
"No one has ever asked to remove any of my clothes before and while I wanted to believe you were trying to help me, I was unsure of your intentions, and I was afraid," he admitted. "Of you and of what would happen if I allowed you to touch me."
"You do not have to explain anything," she said. "I apologize for even asking in the first place. It is none of my business and I am sorry I made you feel uncertain and fearful."
"I'm not offended by your question and I'm no longer afraid," he insisted. "The only thing I'm still uncertain of, is if you are aware of the way you touched me?"
She buried her face in her hands again. "Oh Elnor, I am so ashamed of myself for giving you the wrong impression and making you feel like your virtue was in peril," she moaned.
"We're still misunderstanding each other. That is not what I meant either," he said. He rested his hand on her shoulder to encourage her to look up at him. "I was unsure of what you wanted to do but I wasn't afraid you wanted me to do...that. I was afraid you would set me on fire but that is also not what I meant."
She finally met his gaze with a dumbfounded expression.
She was stunned. It hadn't occurred to her that was what he was afraid of. It made absolute sense that after watching her use them to barbecue another Romulan he wouldn't want those same hands on him. This was why she avoided other people.
"You seemed unaware of what you were doing but as you were treating my injury you began to rub my back the way Zani would when I was little and afraid of monsters under my bed. I could feel the energy coming from you. I could feel it inside me and it did have an effect on me just not the way you think. It didn't make me want to make love but I felt comforted and less afraid. It made me want to trust you."
"You are correct, I was unaware. I am glad I did not make you uncomfortable. Thank you for explaining your feelings so eloquently," she replied touched by his desire to ease her worry. "I am afraid I am grossly out of practice being in the company of others. I should not have made any assumptions about what you were feeling,"
"You've explained your energy field normally causes an increase in sexual desire so if that's been your experience I don't blame you for assuming I would be affected the same way," he replied. "The sisters are very disciplined but they didn't encourage me to ignore those feelings. I have just always been very focused on study and training. Romance is a distraction that doesn't have a place in my life, at least not right now."
She understood how he felt. She spent most of her life believing the same. Things were so much easier without the complications of caring deeply for another and becoming attached to people she would inevitably outlive. Especially, the way she carried on. While she'd always been able to remain altruistic it was not the same as truly allowing someone else in and giving yourself over to them completely. She didn't believe she'd ever be able to do that again.
"You have been very open with me when you are certainly not obligated to be," she told him. "That is a remarkable quality to possess. Please do not allow anyone to convince you that you should change that about yourself."
"Truth and honesty are very important to a Qowat Milat," he replied. "We are guided by the Way of Absolute Candor. The total communication of emotion with no filter between thought and words."
"That is a beautiful philosophy to embrace and very unlike most of the Romulans I have encountered,"
she said.
"I've gathered that," he teased and she gave him an embarrassed smirk for his trouble.
"In the spirit of your beliefs, I would like to do what I should have done and explain to you why I asked such a personal question," she said taking a deep breath. "When you stopped me from touching you earlier that is almost the only time any man has ever done that. My energy field does not seem to have the usual effect on you and there is only one other who could ever make that claim."
"Data?" he asked, "Do you think I'm an android?"
"Not at all," she told him. "He was completely unique, not a flesh and blood man. You are and while I can sense that I am having an effect on you it does not appear to be the same way as every other man from every other species before you. There has only ever been one other exception."
She had not thought about Nasir except in passing for a very long time but the more time she spent with Elnor, the more her memories of Nasir were pushed to the surface. There were certainly differences between the two. Elnor was a little younger and innocent. Nasir was more experienced when their paths converged and he had a quiet wisdom beyond his years but she could imagine that he'd been very similar to Elnor once upon a time. They were both skilled warriors, devout in their faiths, and blessed with the same extraordinary grace, and honesty. There was something in Elnor's eyes that made her feel like Nasir was there reaching out to her. All these things made her want a connection with him and now she wondered if fate had sent him into her orbit to help fill the enormous hole Data left when he died.
"His name was Nasir and long before Data, he was the closest thing I had ever had to a real friend," her voice broke as the words came out.
The flood of emotion that came with saying those names out loud was stronger than she anticipated and she could feel herself about to crumble. She knew she needed to keep it together because Elnor would have a million questions and she didn't want to scare him again by dissolving into a puddle of tears.
His eyes were transfixed on her. Wide and shining.
He wanted to ask so many questions but even more, he wanted to hear her stories. All of them. All one thousand five hundred and fifty-three years worth. He'd all but forgotten his earlier trepidation and he was realizing how fortunate he actually was to meet any Feeonix nevermind the very one he'd already heard stories about. The one connected to Picard and the cause he'd bound himself to. He decided that his chance encounter with Naseema was well worth the broken ribs. Maybe it was just his imagination but he already felt a bond forming between them.
"How did you meet Nasir?" he asked excitedly. "I want to know everything!"
"He was a Muslim man from North Africa who came to England near the end of the Third Crusade in the year 1191 and we became part of a revolt against a powerful man who was attempting to usurp the throne from the rightful king," she told him.
"What's a crusade?" he pressed and edged forward in his chair.
She couldn't help but let a smile overtake her face. She picked up the bottle and poured each of them another drink.
Elnor was so eager to hear the story she couldn't help thinking of Data and the way he would sit perched on the edge of his seat completely captivated by her every word much the same way Elnor was now. Where had this remarkable young man come from? Had he been sent by some unknown benefactor to save her from her loneliness? Before Data, twenty years would have barely registered for her but since he died, time had all but stopped completely. The last two decades had been an excruciating eternity and she had thousands more to get through. True, she had the other Feeonix, what was left of them, but Data was her mate, and when he was gone most of her went with him. The companionship of friends just wasn't enough to fill the void so instead, she dedicated herself to the security of their new home. It left her on her own most of the time but it also allowed her to avoid sharing her misery with those who already had enough to worry about and it freed her up to exact her grief on those who hated everything Data was. At least for tonight she could enjoy Elnor's conversational charms and lose herself in something familiar.
She spent the next three and a half hours unraveling the entire tale for him. "Until Data, Nasir was the greatest love of my life," she finished. "He is still as clear in my mind now as he was twelve hundred years ago."
"That was amazing," the young Romulan said as he stretched back in his seat with a satisfied sigh. "You really stayed together his entire life?"
"We did," she replied splitting the last of the bottle between them.
"I still don't believe you were never intimate," he insisted. With his fingers locked together, he stretched his arms up and then folded them behind his head.
"Well, there is such a thing as platonic romance," she told him with a gentle laugh. "Whether you believe that or not is up to you but it is the truth. We loved each other deeply but we were never physically intimate for a myriad of reasons."
"Like what?" he scoffed. "You are probably the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I may be dedicated to my principles but I cannot say I would never change my mind about that in my whole life."
He was drunk.
She couldn't help but laugh at his bold statement. "I am hardly worth overthrowing a religious vocation for. You will most certainly see far more beautiful women over the course of your life and I do not believe that there were none on Vashti pretty enough to turn your head."
"I didn't say there weren't," he replied.
She jerked her head back in mock surprise and folded her arms across her chest. "What happened to the dedicated protege?" she smirked. "I thought romance had no place in your life?"
"I said I was dedicated not blind," he retorted.
"You have quite the saucy streak," she laughed. "Alright, since Absolute Candor is the way, a Feeonix does not mate outside our kind.
He carefully considered her words. "If you don't mate outside your kind what about Data? He wasn't a Feeonix and Picard told me he was your soulmate," he finally said.
His statement cut her deeply but she knew he wasn't trying to hurt her. The Way of Absolute Candor took a little getting used to. Besides, she was the one who got him drunk and loosened both his tongue and his inhibition. She also knew his youth and innocence made it unreasonable for her to expect him to understand the depth of her grief, and how much of her it had eaten away. She didn't want him to understand. Nobody should have to know what it was like.
"He was special," she quietly replied. "He was immune to more than the invisible effects of my energy field. He was also immune to my...it was very complicated."
The change in her demeanor didn't escape him and his face fell. "I'm sorry," he said. "I hurt you."
"It was not your intention and you have not done any real harm," she replied. "You do not need to be sorry."
"I don't understand," he said. "If you were in love why did it have to be complicated?"
He was going to learn eventually that sometimes even the most seemingly uncomplicated things could be horrendously complicated just under the surface. He might as well hear it from her.
"The Feeonix possess unspeakable power, Elnor," she began. "In my natural state, I am capable of destroying entire solar systems. Even contained in this body I am far more powerful than any single being should ever be. Many would call me an abomination and most other Romulans do."
The increasing seriousness of her tone was not lost on him and she quickly had his undivided attention again.
"In humanoid form, my powers become like a separate entity inside me. A highly instinctive predator that must be kept under control. When you saw me kill that man on the Borg cube you saw me let that predator out. The white flames are part of that. They are a side-effect of containing so much energy inside a body not really designed for it. Because of what we are and what we are capable of, the Feeonix must conduct themselves with care, and control when we interact with other species. For the most part, I can control the flames but there are certain situations where I cannot. Making love is one of those situations. The Feeonix do not mate outside our kind because we will kill our partner."
Elnor was so close to the edge of his chair he was dangerously close to falling out of it. "How do you know that?" he asked astonished.
"Because it has happened," she replied bluntly. "To this day, Data remains the sole survivor."
"Wow," he whispered.
"Wow is right," she continued. "I broke the unbreakable rule. You cannot imagine how much trouble I was in afterward. I very nearly lost everything."
"There must have been a happy ending though, right?" he asked. "You and Data stayed together."
"When a Feeonix finds their soulmate their heart will literally glow," she confirmed. "Since Data was my true mate even though we were an anomaly we were encouraged to stay together. So, yes, everything worked out in the end. However-"
"Wait," Elnor interrupted. "How did the other Feeonix find out in the first place?"
"They were told," she replied.
"Who told them?" he asked.
"Another Feeonix who was visiting."
"Why would they do that?"
"He was jealous," Naseema told him. "He believed I was his, that I betrayed him, and he wanted to punish me."
Elnor didn't say anything he just sat there staring at her with an incredulous look on his face.
"He eventually regretted his actions and I forgave him but I will admit that having your intimate moments broadcast across a starship by a public trial is an extremely unpleasant experience. I was very angry with him at the time as was Data."
"I don't know," he mused with a smirk. "If it were me I think I might be kind of proud to broadcast that."
"You know, even while adhering to Absolute Candor, you do not need to say everything out loud," she laughed and shook her head at him.
He smiled with drunken enthusiasm and opened his mouth to counter her but an enormous yawn escaped instead.
"Perhaps you should get some sleep," she suggested. "There is a bed in the back."
He nodded as another yawn overtook him. "Where will you sleep?" he asked concerned he was taking up her space.
"I do not need to sleep," she replied. "The bed is for passengers."
"How many passengers have you had on this little thing?" he inquired glancing around the tiny ship with curiosity.
"Actually, you are the first," she said.
He nodded through another yawn, too exhausted for any more questions, and rose unsteadily to his feet. He tried to move towards the berth but almost immediately stumbled to one side and had to brace himself against the bulkhead to keep from falling over. Naseema jumped up and came over to steady him.
"Perhaps I should help you to bed," she said.
She felt guilty for plying him with so much liquor and it wasn't hard to guess this was likely the first time he'd ever had it. He was going to feel terrible when he woke up and so was she.
"Thank you for being so kind to me," he said softly and draped his arm across her shoulder as he let her lead him into the dark room at the back of the ship.
"You may not be thanking me when you wake," she replied as she heaved him onto the bunk. "Sweet dreams my friend you did well today." She turned to leave but he caught her hand.
"Will you stay for a while?" he asked looking up at her with big, brown eyes so much like Nasir's that she instantly crumbled. She sat on the floor and reclined against the bed while he wriggled himself into a position to be able to see her face. She rested her head on the mattress to look at him. He studied her for a moment before asking, "Can I touch your feathers?"
"You may," she replied. He tentatively reached out and caressed his hand along them as if he were touching the most delicate crystal. They responded by quivering and rising up to meet him. His eyes grew wide with wonder.
"What does that feel like?" he whispered.
"A pleasant tingling sensation in my head," she replied.
"Do they have a mind of their own?"
"No, but they are very sensitive," she laughed.
"They're beautiful, like a floating crown," he said.
"Thank you," she replied and he gave her a pleased smile before making another appeal.
"Will you tell me another story?"
"I suppose," she said with an agreeing nod. "What would you like to hear about?"
"Tell me about the Enterprise," he replied with another yawn right on the heels of his request.
So she started to tell him all about the adventures of the USS Enterprise and its crew but he didn't last long before his breathing slowed to the easy, steady pace of a deep sleep. She got to her feet carefully so she didn't disturb him and shook out the blanket at the foot of the bed before she draped it over him. Then she slipped out into the cabin, replicated herself another bottle of gin, and sat in the pilot's chair. She filled her glass almost to the brim and leaned back. She slowly gulped the entire thing and let it burn her throat on the way down. Once it was gone she rested the glass down on the console and stared out at the nothing in front of her. That was the trouble with subspace. You could travel much faster and remain undetected but there wasn't much to look at.
She thought about Data and Nasir. She missed them both and even though Nasir hadn't occupied her thoughts like this in a very long time, thinking of him now made the wound fresh again. They may not have ever been able to consummate their love but that didn't make it any less real. Nasir was the first person by centuries to know what she truly was. He knew she wasn't human and he knew the power she possessed but it made no difference to him or how he loved her. She didn't have to disguise her appearance for him. He had never been afraid of her and the effect of her energy field had not been as strong with him. That made it easy for her to trust him. She was always sure he was unmotivated by her alien influence. He had been the one to give her the name, Naseema, and even though she'd gone by many names before and hundreds more after, that was the name she kept for herself, and those she trusted. She couldn't help but have similar feelings about the young Qowat Milat asleep in the back of the tiny ship. She could still hear his rhythmic breathing even out here and her thoughts turned to the warm, dark eyes she was sure she could see Nasir in. Elnor's grace and faith reminded her so much of Nasir that she was starting to fear for her sanity. It wasn't possible that he'd come back to her in the form of her young Romulan guest, She knew that but she couldn't ignore the way she was feeling. It would be exactly like Nasir to appear when she needed him most. She enjoyed Elnor's company but he was proving to be more of a complication than a welcome distraction. She knew Picard would try to bring Soji home and she was positive they would be followed. If the Romulans found their homeworld, they were facing a war and she would be needed. She didn't need these feelings occupying her mind. She hoped she wasn't condemning him to death by doing so but she would have to bring Elnor with her. She didn't have time to take him back to Vashti or anywhere else. She needed to regain her focus and she knew the only way to do that was to allow these feelings to overtake her, just for a little while.
She gave a quick glance behind her to make sure Elnor was still sleeping before she returned her eyes to the empty blackness in front of her. Then she poured herself another tall drink and silently allowed the tears to flow freely down her face.
When he woke up hours later, his head was pounding and as he tried to sit up the room started to spin.
He'd never felt this awful in his life and he wondered what Naseema had done to him. Had she poisoned him? Was this part of the effect of her energy field? He felt stupid for trusting her and he was determined not to make that mistake a second time.
Looking out into the cabin he could see her seated at the console with her back to him. He dragged himself off the bed, staggered forward, and kept his hand against the bulkhead to steady himself. Even though he was dizzy and his vision blurry, he quietly went for his tan qalanq. The sound of him releasing it from its scabbard alerted Naseema and she looked over her shoulder. He pointed the sword at her.
"What did you do to me?" he demanded his throat dry and his voice raspy.
She turned the entire chair around to face him and held her hands up. "Please put that down," she said calmly. "It will not serve your purpose."
"Why do I feel like this?" he demanded and refused to lower his weapon.
"It is called a hangover. You are very dehydrated and I know you feel unwell but I can fix that," she told him.
"I will ask you one more time," he said trying to shake his head clear then pulling in a deep breath. "What did you do to-" He didn't get to finish his interrogation before he abruptly doubled over and vomited on the floor. He went down on one knee and Naseema got out of her seat to help him into the nearby chair.
"Oh, Elnor," she said with a look of both sympathy and guilt on her face. "I am so very sorry. I should not have given you alcohol last night. That is why you feel the way you do. I can give you something to clear your head and settle your stomach."
He wasn't sure he wanted to let her give or do anything to him but he knew he was in no shape to fight her. His condition wasn't affecting his memory and he could recall the day before, and how kind she'd been to him. She still seemed to be the same friendly person she'd been last night and she genuinely appeared to feel bad for his current state. The warm, calm feeling started to flow through him again and gave him more clarity of thought. He decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and let her help him once more.
"I don't have to take any of my clothes off again, do I?" he asked.
Her expression turned into a mix of tenderness and mild amusement. "No, you do not have to remove any of your clothes," she replied. She opened the same drawer that contained the bone knitter and took out a hypospray. She held it out so he could examine it and explained, "This will counteract the effect of the alcohol."
He looked at it and nodded before he allowed her to press it against his neck.
"It may take a few minutes before you start to feel better," she told him. Then she went to the replicator and came back with a huge glass full of bright orange liquid and several pieces of toast. "Drink this but do it slowly or you may be sick again," she instructed. "Then you can eat."
Once again, he accepted her offering and did as he was told. At least this time the drink tasted better. She picked up the tan qalanq and slid it back into its spathe. Then she leaned it against his chair before she returned to her own seat.
"I haven't seen you eat anything," he observed. "Do you not need to do that either?"
"I have been known to eat on occasion but you are correct it is not something I need to do," she replied. "As far as the sleeping goes, I am capable of becoming tired and I do require certain amounts of rest but I don't need it as frequently as most species do. I enter a regenerative state about once every six months or so where I will sleep very deeply for several consecutive days. I return home when that occurs. It is a vulnerable state for the Feeonix and we like to be in a safe place, and keep watch over each other."
"That's understandable," he agreed.
"Are you feeling any better yet?" she asked and he nodded.
"You said it was the alcohol?" he asked. "Is that what I was drinking last night?"
"Yes, and again I must apologize. I forget sometimes that most species require more water and also lack my tolerance for alcohol," she said.
"So you don't sleep, you don't eat, and you can't get drunk either?" he asked.
"Oh, I am quite capable of getting drunk and I have no doubt if you were to ask anyone who knows me they would probably tell you I do it far too often, and they wouldn't be wrong. I have had quite a lot of practice and developed a high tolerance," she told him as she took a sip of her coffee.
"I wish I was invincible like you," he sighed.
"I am not invincible, far from it," she said. "If the Feeonix were invincible we would not be nearly extinct."
"How many of you are left?" he asked.
"Fifteen."
"I'm having a hard time understanding how beings with so much power can be so close to being gone forever," he admitted.
"Possessing such power has made us feared and people often seek to destroy what they fear," she said.
"Why didn't you just fight back?" he asked.
"If we attacked everyone who ever threatened us I can promise that half the galaxy would be in ruins," she said. "Displays of such power only serve to create more fear and mistrust. That does not help anyone in the end. I have learned that the hard way...multiple times."
"It hurts me to know that fear has caused such sorrow for your kind," he said.
It made his heart ache to hear her talk about the destruction of her species. He could understand the initial fear others might have of her. He'd certainly been afraid of her at first but once he spent some time with her, he learned what a compassionate, gentle person she was, and he changed his mind. If only others could have the same experience he was sure they would understand she wasn't as dangerous as they wanted to believe. Fear also didn't seem like a good excuse to exterminate an entire species. He'd been taught not to judge others too quickly and to have respect for all life but he was realizing his beliefs left him in the minority. He was seeing the bigger picture now, what Soji, Naseema, and the ex-borg were up against. Fear, hatred, persecution, they were all connected by those things.
Naseema gave him a sad smile but before she could reply the console let out a double beep to tell her there was an incoming transmission. "Hello Simon," she said as she tapped on the pad.
"It's Jag," came the voice. "You're never gonna believe who just rolled in."
"Let me guess," she replied. "The esteemed Admiral Jean-Luc Picard?"
"How in the hell do you know that?" the voice asked.
"It is a long story," she said with a sigh. "Does he have Soji with him?"
"He sure does."
"I will be there as soon as I can."
"Alrighty then, I'll hold him off until you get here. See you in a few."
Naseema closed the channel and turned to her companion. "Elnor," she said. "I need you to tell me everything that has happened since you bound your sword to Jean-Luc."
The seriousness of her tone surprised him a little but he told her the entire story and spared no details.