"What did you say?" Natalie asked disbelievingly as she felt mindlessly for a chair to sit down. With none present, she leaned against a door frame instead.

"I said, Molly Evans is dead. Monk found her body around eight-fifteen this morning lying in her living room floor."

"No, Leland! That's not possible. We were just with her last night!" she reasoned. "Molly was fine."

"I'm sure she was. But, Natalie – her death wasn't natural. She was murdered."

Natalie gasped, sinking to the floor. "Murdered! Who…who on earth would want to kill Molly?"

"We have no idea, but it apparently happened last night, we're guessing around eleven. Monk talked to her around around ten-thirty and had promised to call her again this morning when he got up, just to let her know that he was okay. She was worried about him."

Natalie closed her eyes as guilt washed over her but she continued to listen.

"Sometime after that, probably not too long judging by the condition of the body, someone came to her apartment and killed her. Blunt force trauma to the head. It appears she was slammed against the wall. Probably killed instantly.

Monk tried to call her this morning for over an hour and when he got no response from either her cell phone or landline he became concerned. Called a cab, since, as you know, his car is still in the shop. And, that's when he found her. Apartment door was unlocked and rigor mortis had already set in. Despite this, he tried to revive her for over forty minutes before calling me."

"Oh, Leland! Poor Adrian! Is he…is he okay? I mean, of course he's not..but, how is he?"

"Eh…" Leland said, looking over at his friend. "He's certainly been better. That's why I called. I need you to get down here as soon as possible to be with him. Dr. Bell is here and we're both concerned."

Natalie raised her hand to her face. "Leland…I'm afraid…I'm afraid that's not possible."

"And why not?" Stottlemeyer asked, putting his hand behind his neck and lowering his head.

"Because last time I saw him…well, we weren't exactly on speaking terms. He told some things that he wasn't supposed to and as a result I quit my job and said some really harsh things. Truthfully, I'm probably the last person he wants to see."

Leland sighed. "Well, first of all, you're wrong about him wanting to see you. He was asking for you." he replied to her astonishment. "And, if this is about the Mitch thing, forget about it."

"What? You know too?" She replied uncomfortably. "What has he told you?"

"Yes, I know and have known for over a week – but, I didn't find out from him and neither did Alicia or Lisa." Stottlemeyer paused to let that sink in.

"What? He didn't tell you?"

"No. He didn't tell us. He never said a word. My man at Scotland Yard ran into the information as a part of our investigation into Nadia and Svetlana Yaroslav. Apparently they knew each other. We didn't tell you because, obviously, the situation is sensitive; but, ever since I shared the information with Monk he's been spending his time trying to get at the truth for you. He never betrayed your trust and right now thinks you hate him because you think he did."

Natalie's eyes began to swell with tears. "Oh..." she breathed.

Leland continued. "I think he's run into information that shows Mitch was innocent but didn't want to share it with you until he was certain, so as to not get your hopes up. That's why he's been keeping you away. He's been trying to clear his name."

Raising her hand to her face, Natalie was horrified as remorse filled her soul and her eyes began to overflow and she began to sob. "Oh, Leland. Oh, good Heaven! What have I done? I…I was so awful to him…I said some things…"

Leland shook his head and sighed, softening his tone. "You made a mistake. Jumped to a wrong conclusion and overreacted."

"But, you don't understand. I said such cruel and hateful things. Leland, he tried to tell me…but I just wouldn't listen!"

"Seriously, Natalie. You need to set all that aside. Forget about it. I can guarantee that yesterday's argument is the last thing on Monk's mind. He needs you and he wants you here. How soon can you get here?"

Natalie was silent as the guilt overwhelmed her. "I…I thought that he betrayed Mitch; but, really…I…I betrayed Adrian."

"Listen Natalie, you gotta let it go. That man cares for you. Did you hear what I just said?"

She continued sobbing.

"He cares for you and he needs you right now. Stop beating yourself up. You got it wrong. It happens. Dr. Bell is worried. I'm worried. We don't want him to be alone and you're really the only one that can make that difference…so again, I'm asking you. How soon can you get here?"

She sniffed back the tears and wiped her face, straightening up and then pulling herself up off of the floor. "I…I'll be there in fifteen minutes." She replied. "Just need to comb my hair and put on something decent."

"Alright dear. I'll see you then. And please, drive safely. No more tragedies today. None of us could stand it."

At quarter 'til twelve, Natalie crawled under the crime scene tape and was ushered into Molly's apartment by Sergeant Adam Shaw. As she entered the room, she cringed when she saw the victim's body was still lying in the middle of the room, bluish white in tone, eyes wide open and a nasty gash in her forehead around which there was bruising and congealed blood. The floor underneath her was likewise stained with blood and Natalie's heart immediately broke as she considered the horror of her friend's last moments. But, she didn't consider it long because her vision was diverted across the room to Adrian, who was not sitting someplace catatonic as she had expected him to be, but was standing near the divider between Molly's kitchen and her dining room with his hands outstretched just like they would be with any other crime scene. He stood there framing each section of the room and she watched as a young officer stood behind him with evidence bags in hand, collecting anything that Monk indicated was of significance – which in turn was a lot.

With a curious apprehension, she walked further into the room to stand by Stottlemeyer and Adrian's psychiatrist, Dr. Neven Bell as they were watching the scene unfold.

"Hey." She said softly as she walked up to the Captain. "How is he?"

Leland nodded toward Monk. "See for yourself."

She observed for a moment longer as Adrian bent down near the blood-spattered wall and picked up what appeared to be a piece of leaf off of Molly's carpet. Using tweezers, he examined the fragment then placed it into the officer's waiting bag. The officer then marked the bag and readied another.

"Has he been doing this for long?" she asked.

"Ever since I arrived." Leland replied. "We have a car-load of supposed 'evidence' that he has instructed Officer Lair to collect, and he shows no sign of stopping."

Natalie looked over at Bell with concern. "So, he's having a dissociative episode?", something Natalie was familiar with as it had been a repeated occurrence in Monk's life during times where he was under extreme stress. During these occasions, Monk would imagine things or have mental processes that were completely foreign to who he was as a person. It was a coping mechanism.

Bell looked to Monk grimly. "You could call it dissociation, that's for sure; except that it's different than in former times in that Adrian is fully aware of his surroundings and of what has happened. I believe what we're seeing is a more 'normal' form of disassociation that people refer to as 'emotional numbness'."

"Emotional numbness?"

"Yes. It's part of what we refer to clinically as 'complex grief', a grief response. It's not typical but also not uncommon. His mind has flipped itself into protection mode to shield him from the overwhelming pain and loss that this experience has brought about."

"Not there!" Monk said suddenly to the officer who was looking at him sympathetically.

"Where, Detective Monk?" Officer Lair helplessly asked.

"Over there, Terrence. Stand over there!" he barked.

"Yes sir." Lair replied "And, it's Thomas."

"What?!" he scowled.

"My name sir. Thomas, not Terrence."

Monk shrugged and turned back to his work.

Natalie observed this interaction and automatically knew she had to slip into assistant mode and timidly walked across the room next to Thomas, motioning with her head that he could leave.

"I'll take over from here, Thomas." She whispered. "Thank you."

"Thank you, ma'am." The officer said with relief as he looked between Natalie and Monk. "Good luck."

Quietly, Natalie stood next to Monk and placed her hand upon his back. Upon feeling the warmth of her hand he immediately stopped doing what he was doing, stood up and turned to face her. As his eyes met hers she was struck by an almost empty quality in his expression. There was pain there, to be sure, but all of the warmth and spark in him had been drained away.

"Natalie." He said, softly. "You came back?"

She nodded. "Yes, Adrian. I'm here. I'm where I belong for whatever you need and as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere."

His expression changed as he lowered his brow then looked back up at her with an expression of humility that almost broke her heart.

"But…I thought…I thought you hated me. I thought you were leaving me and going to Tokyo with Albright because you thought…"

"Because I thought you had betrayed me?" she interjected. "Adrian. I was wrong. I was so very wrong and I know that now, and I could never hate you. I love you. Don't you know that?"

"But, Albright…"

"Doesn't matter. I'm here with you now. And, I'm not going to leave you – that is, if you'll still have me after I said such horrible, mindless things…" Her eyes glistened as she fought back guilty tears. "...that I'm so sorry for. Really. You have to believe me."

Monk's face relaxed to more of what it was before. "Natalie. Forget about it. There's nothing to forgive. What was said…it doesn't matter." He turned his head and stared blankly in the direction of Molly's body- seeing her, but not really seeing her. "Nothing really matters anymore. I've…I've lost…everything."

"You've not lost me." She replied, clasping onto his arm. He lowered his face towards her, but did not look her in the eyes nor did he respond. He simply swallowed and turned back to where he had been working.

A few minutes later, he was ready to give a summary of his findings.

"Whoever did this knew her." He said, walking through the crime scene and using his hands to explain. Stottlemeyer stopped passively observing and Sergeant Shaw and the other officers also took note. Monk looked towards the door. "What happened was Molly opened the door and let him in."

"And we know it was a male?" Shaw asked.

"Yes. To lift her up by the neck…there are bruises there… and throw her against the wall took someone with some strength." he replied. Looking back at the wall, he raised his hands up in the air. "About my height. He came in and she went to get him a glass of water."

"How do you know that?" Stottlemeyer asked.

"Full glass over on the counter and her favorite tea cup is over on the end table by the couch." He responded. "There was condensation around the rim of the glass but only one water mark. The glass was untouched."

Stottlemeyer looked over at Natalie and gave a half-smile, expressing both pride in and sadness for his friend.

"What happened then?" Shaw asked.

Monk walked over towards the table. "He sat down on the couch and touched her tea cup."

"He touched her tea cup?" Stottlemeyer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. That end table belonged to Trudy. Mr. Ellison gave it to her and she would never set a cup on it, particularly without a coaster. Someone has tampered with it. If you get close to the mug, there appears to be some sort of powdery residue around the inside of it. Now, Molly would use artificial sweetener in her drinks at times, so it could be that; but, if she was drinking tea, I wouldn't expect to see the powder remain there and at the brim. Plus, I don't see evidence of any sweetener either here or in the kitchen." He replied. "I didn't ask Lair to remove it because I know that's evidence that shouldn't be disturbed."

"Lair, can you ask forensics to get a sample of that before they leave?" Stottlemeyer asked.

"Yes, Captain." Lair replied before turning to find a representative from the crime lab.

"Why would there be powder in her cup?" Natalie asked. "Was he trying to poison her?"

"My guess is to knock her out." Monk responded. "There was something here that he wanted and he planned on knocking her out long enough to retrieve it. It had to be in this room or nearby because there's no evidence that he went anywhere else…she must have come out of the kitchen with the water and saw what he was doing and that's when it all fell apart."

"She tried to stop him…" Natalie said softly.

"And he attacked her." Stottlemeyer finished. "And, killed her in the process. Great work, Monk. Especially…considering the circumstances…I…I know that it had to be…"

"WHERE IS SHE?! WHERE IS SHE?!" an anguished voice cried as he entered Molly's apartment.

"Sir, you can't go in there…this is a crime…" another officer stated trying to keep the man from entering.

Looking over, Leland recognized Kyle Bartholomew right away and instructed the officer to let him in.

"Molly! Oh, my sweetheart…Molly!" he wailed as he saw his fiancée's body lying dead upon the floor. Another officer held him by the arm to keep him from disturbing the evidence and Leland walked over to join the young man.

Natalie's eyes turned to Monk who stood with fingertips touching as he faced the man who would have been his honorary son-in-law. Again, he showed no emotion.

"Captain Stottlemeyer…how? How did it happen?" Kyle cried. "Who did this thing?"

"Son, that's what we've got to figure out." He said as he exhaled. This was the part Leland hated the most, dealing with victim's loved ones. After over thirty-five years in law enforcement it never got any easier.

"Can…can I see her?" he asked.

Stottlemeyer nodded. "Yes. Just be careful not to touch her. Our forensics team is not done and we need to preserve what we can if we're going to find out who did this."

Kyle nodded, then went over by Molly's body and sank to his knees burying his face in his hand and sobbed.

Natalie put her arm around Adrian's body even as he watched the young man mourn over Molly. He tilted his head, studying the scene as if the thing he was seeing was foreign to him. But, he made no movement's toward the young man nor said a word about his grief and instead stood back up to go look at the scene.

Leland looked over at Monk and then at Natalie whose expression invited his own involvement. "Hey, Monk…buddy." He said, walking over to his friend. "You've done great here today, but I think maybe you should rest for a while. This is hard on you too. Maybe go with Natalie…"

Just then, a commotion was heard from the center of the room as the medical examiner had come to retrieve the corpse. Kyle was becoming agitated and was trying to stop the men from doing their job.

"Please! Please don't take her! Let me stay with her!" he bawled. "Oh..please…"

"Sir, we need to take the victim to the morgue." One man said. "Please, just let us do our job."

"No!" Kyle wept. "No…Please let me stay…oh, Molly!"

Officer Shaw stepped forward and grasped Kyle by the arm, tugging him away so that the team could complete their task. "Come with me, son…I know…"

"No…Molly…please! Please…just let me say goodbye!"

"Now, son…don't make me…"

"SHAW! LET HIM GO!" Monk's powerful voice said with a force that silenced the room. All eyes went his way as Adrian stepped forward and physically removed Shaw's hand from Kyle's arm. "Let him alone. Don't you see…he needs to be with her right now."

Shaw backed up and Stottlemeyer and Natalie watched with amazement as Monk knelt down and placed one arm around the young man. "Stay as long as you need to, Kyle." He whispered. "I'll make sure you have all the time that you need to say goodbye."

Through tear-filled eyes, Kyle looked over at Adrian and then wrapped his arms around the man and sobbed. Monk stiffened but let him cry and stayed by his side until at last his burning need was quenched and the two men both stood, side by side watching as Molly was placed into a body-bag and put on a stretcher then silently taken away.

By this point in time, Kyle's parents had arrived, thanking Adrian and walking with their son out the door. Monk turned back to Natalie who was astounded by his strength.

Looking her in the eyes he said softly and without emotion. "I think I would like to go home now too, but I don't have my car. Would it be possible that you could drive me?"

She nearly wept all over again at the meekness in his request.

"Absolutely." She said softly. "I'm not leaving you, not now and not ever."

Arriving at Adrian's apartment, Natalie told him to go ahead and change into something more comfortable. She would make him a light something to eat since he needed to preserve his strength. He didn't argue and instead went into his bedroom, removed his dress shirt and robotically tugged a t-shirt over his head and exchanged his dress pants for a pair of sweatpants, stopping and staring for the longest time at a photo of Trudy that stared at him from his chest of drawers.

He felt like he should say something to his late-wife about the death of her daughter. It would be the right thing to do. But, ironically, he felt absolutely nothing and he had no words. And so, he walked away as if in a daze, out of his bedroom, shuffling his way over to his sofa where he took a seat. And there he sat, staring blankly into space until Natalie came into the room with a turkey sandwich in one hand and a glass of juice in the other.

Sitting the glass down on top of two coasters on his coffee table, she offered him the sandwich which he unthinkingly took. Taking a single bite out of the sandwich he set it back down on the table then returned to his prior stance. Not moving. Not talking. Not reacting in any way at all.

After several minutes of watching him and waiting for him to speak, Natalie began to ask him if there was anything he needed, but he startled her when his eye twitched just a little and he said in a voice so quiet that she had to lean in a little to hear him clearly.

"Kyle needed that time. He needed to be able to say goodbye."

Natalie searched his face for any sign of emotion. The longer this was going on, the more worried she was becoming. The few words she had shared with Dr. Bell let her know how important it would be for Adrian to actually get in touch with his feelings, but as of right now he appeared to be an empty shell.

"It was really kind what you did for him." She replied.

"I know how important it is to be able to say goodbye. I almost didn't make it in time for Trudy – but I got to at least…hold her hand." He said, taking Natalie's own. "That poor boy…he didn't even get that. It was the least I could have done."

He then shook his head. "You know, Molly said to me in the car that night when we went to your place that she really wanted for me and Kyle to bond." He sighed. "Who knew it would be like this?"

Natalie leaned her head against his shoulder and just sat there with him quietly for the next several hours until it was time to go to bed.

Eventually, he got up to make a trip to the bathroom. Upon return, he looked over at her. "It was good of you to stay with me today. I'm…I'm sure you need to be going home. Your fiancé will be worried."

Natalie shook her head. "Steven isn't my fiancé." She stated causing a slight confusion to appear in Adrian's eyes. "No. I haven't accepted his proposal. Truthfully, I was so surprised at time – I really need some time to think."

"Oh." He responded. "I just thought…"

"No." she responded. "Not yet. And as far as him worrying about me, he called this morning and said he was going to be out of town for a couple of days on some training exercises that the Navy was doing all of the sudden. So, I'm free as a bird."

"I see." He replied. "Well, um…you don't have to stay here on my account. I'm sure you have other things you need to do and I've taken enough of your time."

She stood and walked over to him, clasping his hands. "I already told you that I'm not going anywhere. I figured I could sleep on the couch and stay here tonight…you know, in case you needed anything."

He hadn't the will to argue nor any desire to say no, so he simply nodded subserviently. "Okay. Well, I can get you a pair of my pajamas to sleep in." he said, sizing her up. "They will be a bit large, but the pants have a drawstring around them that you can use to tighten them around your waist. I think that will work."

She smiled softly. "Okay. Thank you. That sounds fine."

While Adrian looked for her night clothes, Natalie scooted out Monk's coffee table and expanded the bed within his sleeper sofa. He didn't react when he came out and she already had the bed ready, instead handing her the pajamas, a clean towel and a bar of soap still in the wrapper for her to take a shower with.

"Um…I'm afraid I don't have extra shampoo…I wasn't expecting company so I'll have to buy some." He said, flatly. "But here is some unused soap for in the morning, so that you don't' have to use mine and don't worry about the shower head. I've long grown accustomed to your germs and they don't bother me." He said, without making eye contact.

Natalie smiled softly. "Well, that's good to know that my germs are okay."

"Not okay." Monk replied, awkwardly. "But don't take offense. No germs are. I'm just used to them and can deal with them more."

"I see." she replied. "Did you need to take one of those sleeping pills that Dr. Bell prescribed. He said they aren't addictive and can just take the edge off."

Monk shook his head vigorously. "Pills. No."

"Okay. That's okay." She said, walking towards him and placing her hands outward for a hug. "Well, give me a hug before we go to sleep."

Monk looked uncomfortable but nodded as Natalie drew him into a deep hug. It didn't matter to her that he stood there stiffly and did not reciprocate. That wasn't her point. She wanted to somehow remind him of what he was shutting himself off from, to gently guide him back to the land of the living so that he could deal with his grief in a more constructive way. And, in truth, it was a good tactic. The feeling of her warm body pressed next to his did have an effect, as if she were radiating the warmth of her love for him into the coldness that had enveloped his soul. It both left him longing to connect with her more and scared him to death. And so, he didn't allow it to go on for long, taking an awkward step back and telling her goodnight in a distant manner that was more reminiscent of the Adrian Monk she had known eleven years prior and not the Monk of today. She sadly waved goodnight and watched as he quietly left her and walked to his bedroom, shutting the door behind.

Natalie walked back into Monk's living room, taking a look around the familiar surroundings that she had visited for over a decade. Would this be one of the last times she would be here? Would she soon say goodbye to its well-ordered style, to the warm woodwork and leather, to the clean smell of pine disinfectant that helped to keep everything so pristine and germ free? To the man that made it so? Everything was so much up in the air and it was all so confusing. Two days prior she had settled on telling Steven goodbye while hoping for something wonderful, albeit not guaranteed, with Monk. Two days. It now seemed an eternity – and yet if she could turn back time.

She climbed in bed and pulled the soft cotton sheet and blankets overtop of her. While it was true Adrian was a miser, paradoxically it was also true that he valued quality – no matter the cost. That was seen everywhere from his décor to his bed-linens and these 1400 count Egyptian sheets felt warm and luxurious and wonderful against her skin. Despite all of the things she had on her mind, she went fast asleep and slept well until around three-thirty in the morning.

At first there was nothing, a low rumble a muffled sound. Being a light sleeper, she heard him but still being groggy she dismissed the noise and rolled back over and went to sleep. But then, it grew louder, continuing on until at last she was awake. Opening her eyes she tried to acclimate herself to where she was and immediately leapt into action when she realized that Adrian was in his room, evidently in the midst of a nightmare.

Rushing to his door, she opened it and found him thrashing about, mumbling 'stop', mumbling 'no', mumbling words she couldn't make out and calling out her name. Quickly, she climbed into his bed then moved her body over to his, grasping his wrists and bringing them down to his side without managing to get hit.

She leaned over him, holding him down and shaking him."Adrian! Adrian! Wake up!" she said as gently as she could, even as she shook him. "Adrian! You're having a bad dream. Sweetie, wake up!"

Monk awakened with a jolt so violent that he nearly threw them both out of bed. His breath was ragged and his eyes wild with terror as he looked in horror around his room trying to get his bearings and then turned his eyes towards her. Before she could say anything, Monk threw his arms around her, crushing her to him with all of his strength and burying his face into her shoulder. He was shaking violently and Natalie tried with all of her might to soothe him even as she adjusted herself in his arms allowing her room to move. She held him tightly, stroking his back and whispering soothing words into his ear until finally she felt his body begin to calm and the anxiety attack that the dream had caused begin to diminish.

When at last it had ended and he was able to once again relax, she was still holding him and he, her. And,even though she asked, he would not tell her what the dream was about. But, he did ask her to stay. And so, she did – snuggling into his side like it was the most natural thing in the world.

When the morning sun rose, Adrian opened his eyes and felt her there and for a brief moment felt a warmth and happiness inside. In his bed, that he could pretend was theirs, the rest of the world didn't exist and so he laid very still for another hour listening to the sound of her breath and feeling her warmth against his chest. With Natalie at his side, he knew he could face the world, but for how much longer would he have her? Would she go away? The darkness came again.

He drifted off to sleep and the next sensations he had were the sound of water running in his bathroom and the lingering warmth on the sheets next to him where her body had lain. Closing his eyes, he felt an urge to weep for all of the want which permeated his being. And yet, the tears wouldn't come. He felt so empty inside.

Natalie stayed with him that day and afforded him the luxury of just having another human being present. If he wanted to talk, which he normally didn't, she was there to listen. If he wanted to just be quiet, then that was okay too. Her job was to make sure that he was taken care of, that he remembered to eat, and that he wasn't alone – and to love him, though she didn't tell him that part.

Dr. Bell stopped by on Monday around noon to check on Monk and had a brief talk, after which he told Natalie that Adrian was deeply depressed. He told her that he would like to prescribe him something but she showed him the unused pills from two days prior and he shook his head. He then requested that she work on him and try to get him to come in to see him. He'd make time day or night to get him through this. While Adrian was within earshot, Bell lamented to Natalie that he felt so sorry for her boss.

"You know, I don't believe in this sort of thing but, it's like he's cursed or something. Every time it seems he's going to be happy and things are working out, something like this happens and everyone he ever loves dies. First there was his mother, who died a horrible death."

"Agnes?" she asked. "They always said that she died after a long illness, but they never said how."

Bell frowned. "Well, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but since you're taking care of him…she had a complete mental collapse. Much worse than Adrian's. Actually turned violent, and they had to hide things from her lest she hurt herself or them.

You know, he never said so but I think Adrian used to fear the same would happen to him. Personally, I believe the fears weren't warranted. He inherited some of her tendencies, but his ability to connect to other people shows me that he didn't inherit the worst. And while he has his quirks, some of them are learned and can be unlearned if he is given the chance. He's probably the strongest person in his family if truth is known, because he stuck it out. Still, he loved his mother and he always wished that she would love him, which I suppose she did as much as much as she was capable of doing. But, then, she died. And after her Trudy, and now…"

"Molly." Natalie said quietly.

"Yes. Just can't get a break." He replied. "But, at least he has you."

Natalie nodded. "Yes. He has me."

When evening fell, Natalie gave Adrian a hug and told him to keep his phone beside him because she was going home.

Inside, he was aching for her to stay and wanted to tell her but all he could get out was an "I understand" and "I will" before she left.

She had been gone for no longer than an hour and he had moved no further than where she had left him when his phone did indeed ring.

Answering it, he heard her chipper voice on the other end of the line. "Did ya miss me?" she asked. But, before he could say yes nor no she added "because if you did, I need you to open up your front door for me. My hands are full." Then she hung up.

Curious and confused, Monk rose up from his seat and went to his door to see what was going on, only to find Natalie standing outside with a suitcase and two overnight bags slung over her shoulder. She smiled and put her cell phone back in her pocket.

"Surprise!" she said, pulling the suitcase into his house and half down the hallway. "You've got a roommate! I've decided to stay here for a few days. Figured you could use the company."

"Natalie…I…." he said as her eyes turned towards him with nothing but love and care. "...Don't know what to say." He finished.

"You don't have to say anything." She said. "Two way street -remember? I know you'd do the same for me. Now where do you want me to put these?"

"My closet, I guess." he replied.

For the next three days she stayed at his house. Cooking for him, helping him with chores, talking with him, trying to draw him out and staying with him at night. Of course, everything was chaste and merely for the purpose of helping him through the night terrors that had plagued him that entire week. Nevertheless, for both of them these were some of the loveliest times that they had ever had in their entire relationship – a reminder of everything they meant to one another and why their partnership just 'worked'.

The time together served to clarify a lot in Natalie's mind. She had hardly thought of Steven at all when she was around Adrian, which she knew did not bode well for her relationship with Albright; and, she had pretty much decided that once things were settled, after the funeral, she was going to tell the Lieutenant that he was a great guy but her answer was 'no'. As long as there was Adrian, there was simply no possibility she could love another.

For Monk, it was a time of reflection. Still feeling a brick wall in terms of the grief he had concerning Molly, he visited Dr. Bell on Tuesday and Wednesday just to get prepared for the funeral on Thursday. He didn't really feel they made any progress, but was dutiful to do what he believed was expected. The rest of the time he tried to escape, to imagine that life could somehow still be happy, that there could still be joy.

But, he felt no joy. He felt no hope. And even with the comfort of having Natalie nearby, the only thing that he could feel of a certainty was that while he loved her with everything within him, the best way he could show her that, was to let her go. The words everyone he ever loves dies made a particular impact and the last thing he wanted to do was lose Natalie or to subject her to his 'curse.'

And so, when Thursday arrived the two stood together as a couple in solidarity at the grave site while Molly was laid to rest. Monk spoke a few words to Kyle and gave hugs to Molly's adoptive parents, Andy and Beth Evans. And, then they returned to Natalie's car.

Natalie expected the ride home to be very quiet and she was right. She didn't know what was going through his mind, but didn't try to coax him to talk either. She was just there for him and would occasionally say something just to keep it from being uncomfortable. Once they reached Russian Hill, she told him that after she got inside and got changed, she would make him a sandwich and soup if he liked, but she wasn't surprised when he didn't respond. This was such a hard day for everyone, but particularly for Monk.

Reaching his apartment, she had to park her car nearly a block away due to some construction that was taking place along Pine Street. Coming to a stop, she engaged the emergency brake and turned off the ignition, then placed her keys in her purse.

"Okay, I got us as close as I can get us. Why don' t you go on ahead of me and go inside and try to relax." She said, reaching across her abdomen to unbuckle her seat belt. "I'll get us some dinner started."

When her hand reached the buckle, Adrian reached out his own hand and stopped her. She looked up at him, confused.

His eyes reflected such sadness and yet determination that in that moment all she could do was stop and listen – not knowing that it would blindside her in a way that few things ever had.

"Natalie. I would like to thank you for taking me to the funeral today and for staying with me this week. I don't think I could have gotten through any of this without you." .

She shook her head. "Adrian, you know I don't need any thanks."

She turned her hand slightly to where her fingers entwined with his, but then he withdrew his hand, breaking her hold and causing even more confusion to flow through her mind. She looked concerned as Monk slowly tried to form words that he had been rehearsing in his mind for most of the afternoon. And she was patient with him, knowing that obviously he was in some agony over what was on his mind.

"Natalie, what I mean to say…I mean, what I really want you to know is that I'm grateful for everything you've done for me and having you here with me has been an incalculable treasure that I will never forget. But, now…I really need for you to leave." He said, swallowing hard at the end of his sentence as the words were finally said.

Natalie sat quietly for a few seconds waiting for the next part but when he said nothing more, she blinked her eyes and tilted her head trying to get him to fill in the blanks. "Leave?" she said slowly. "You mean…you want me to leave and…go get you something?"

Monk took a deep breath, closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, Natalie." He raised his head and looked her in the eyes. "I mean… I need you to leave…me. I need for you to go - permanently. I've…I've been thinking and I've made a decision. I'm no longer going to be a detective and am going to give up law enforcement and leave town. As such, I will no longer be needing your services."

Natalie's jaw dropped. "Uh…wait. Leave town? As in…go away? D-don't you think we need to talk about this?" she asked.

Monk looked at her nervously. "There's…really nothing to talk about. I mean, it's already decided. There's just too much sadness in this city. Too many broken dreams…and I really can't deal with all of that any more. You know, the curse of Adrian Monk. Tragedy seems to follow me, but that's my burden, not yours."

"What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. What curse? There is no curse of Adrian Monk! Just get that out of your mind! Your life is good and worthwhile and you bring good things to so many people. Don't you dare say you are a curse."

"Natalie!" he said, exasperated.

"And, I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere." She said, feeling a combination of anger, hurt, and fear that he was serious.

"Natalie…" he said, looking at her pleadingly. "You don't understand. You must. It's not safe for you to be around me."

"Not safe? What do you mean?"

"I should have seen what was going to happen to Molly."

"Adrian-"

"I should have known that what she was digging into would put her life in danger and I should have told her no."

"Just stop right now! This is not your fault! Molly was like you, so, first of all, I don't think 'no' would have worked; but second…we don't even know that she was killed for that reason. It could have been something random."

"No. It was someone who knew her and they came after her for something that was in her house. I looked around and it appeared that her mail had been disturbed. She normally kept things very tidy and sitting in this one section on the counter, but all of that was disturbed."

Natalie became quiet, listening to him but eager to tell him where he was wrong.

"Look." He continued. "Two people have already died as a result of this case…maybe even three if somehow Mitch connects to it all. This case has to be the reason that she was killed. I didn't see it. I never suspected it at all. I should have protected her.

This was Trudy's daughter, Natalie! The only living part of Trudy that was left and I should have protected her – instead, I let her die."

"Adrian please, don't do this!" she insisted. "Don't you dare sit there and blame yourself…"

"It IS my fault! It's ALL my fault! Molly wouldn't have been digging into Rickover if I hadn't gone and found her. She wouldn't have even have known he existed. She wouldn't have gotten so involved in the evidence trail had I not decided to use you both to chase down clues. That was foolish of me, Natalie, because I sent you both into a dangerous situation and completely missed out on the fact that it could end the way it did. I…I've lost it. I've lost my edge. I'm no good any more. A danger, even. So, I need to hang it up."

Natalie sat shaking her head vigorously in strong disagreement as he spoke. "No. No, Adrian. You are not a danger. And, you are not at fault. This is the depression talking. This is not real. Dr. Bell said that he could…"

"Dr. Bell can't fix this and Natalie, it is real! Molly is dead and she's not coming back. Trudy is dead and she's not coming back. Dr. Bell said it himself. Everyone that I've ever loved- every woman that I've ever cared about – dies. It's like what you said in the beginning, I'm bad…bad Karma."

"No! Just stop! This is foolish talk!" she replied, as tears began to form in her eyes.

"And, I had hoped that things would be different, at least with you and me, but I put you in danger too. You could have been killed digging around in that stuff along with Molly. I had no right to do that to you. I was careless when I should have protected you…protected you both… but I didn't. And I've lost her and now I know it's because that's my lot in life. Maybe I wasn't meant to have love – something in the genes. Regardless, hang around me and you get no happy ending. It may even get you killed and, Nat…Natalie, if something happened to you too…I couldn't live through that. I couldn't. And so, I have to let you go." He turned and reached for the handle to his car door.

"Adrian, no!" she responded forcefully, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Please, Natalie." He said, withdrawing his arm and swallowing back emotion. "Please don't fight me and don't argue. It's best this way…"

"No, Adrian. You're wrong! You didn't send me into danger, I willingly went. Why? Because, I wanted to help you. We're a team, and I love you. I wanted you to be proud of me and wanted to show you what I can do on the field – how I can be more to you than just your sitter or assistant."

Monk's eyes soften. "Natalie, don't you know by now, all of that was completely unnecessary? I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried and in terms of what you mean to me…you've…you've become my world…"

"So, you want me to stay?" she asked hopefully.

"No!" he cried. "You can't stay. If you stay with me, you will be destroyed. Please!"

"I'm calling Dr. Bell!" she replied, reaching for her phone. "You can talk to him."

"No. No more Dr. Bell. No more anything. Natalie…you have to go. Don't you understand? I can't do this. I can't do it to you. I need you to leave. Go as far…from me as possible. I'm bad. Bad for you. I'll only make you unhappy." He pleaded.

Natalie wept, reaching her hand towards his face. "Please, Adrian. Please, stop. Don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to us."

"I won't stop, Natalie. You have to understand. It's over for us. I can't give you want I wanted to give you. I can't make the world like I wanted to make it for you. More than anything I want for you to be happy and to feel love and joy and have beauty and laughter in your life, and I know now, that can't be with me. I was just being selfish."

Natalie tried to ignore his words as she looked down at her phone and pressed send on the number to Monk's psychiatrist, but Adrian reached his hand across hers and pressed stop, ending the call."

"No, Natalie. Don't call him." He said softly. "It will make no difference because I've made up my mind. Nothing can change it. "

Looking at him with pain in her eyes she saw that his decision was firm. She searched for words to change his mind but none would come as he continued his instructions.

"Natalie, Natalie. Please don't fight me anymore. Just, go! Go and marry your sailor. He seems to love you and he can provide for you what I can't. Move to Tokyo with him and be happy. At least one of us can be. I can't hold onto you and drag you into my mess any more. It wouldn't be right."

"Oh…Adrian." She cried. "Please…don't make me go. Please, I want to stay."

"No, Natalie. You know, you've been the one bright spot in my otherwise dark life since Trudy passed away." He said, reaching up and touching her face, wiping the tears off of her cheek with his thumb. "And if there were any way that I could have you stay and make you happy and keep you safe and give you everything you deserve…trust me. I would. But, I can't. I can't keep you here any longer. I have nothing left - inside of me. I'm broken. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be free and enjoying life, not shackled to the…angel of death. So, please, I am asking you…forget about me. Forget you ever knew me and just go and be happy."

She lowered her head and began to sob.

"Awe…don't cry, Natalie. You know I can't stand that. And besides, I'm not worth crying over. You've given me more happiness than I ever imagined possible after Trudy, and the memory of that will last me for a very long time, so don't worry about me. I'll be okay…really, I'll be just fine." He brushed hair away from her face, waiting for her response as she leaned towards him, longing for him to wrap his arms around her and reverse his decision. But he stood firm.

"For me?" he begged, as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Okay? Don't be sad. I don't want you to be sad. Be happy enough for the both us. Please, do it for me."

Natalie could say no more as the pain of her broken heart made her feel as if she might break into a million pieces. She stopped crying, the best she could, then nodded her head 'yes' even as everything in her wanted to stop him and tell him 'no'. This wasn't what she wanted. Not at all what she wanted. She wanted him and she longed to tell him that. But now, he was sending her away.

Monk smiled sadly. "Thank you." He paused and lowered his head. "Thank you for loving me and for being there…and… for everything. I'll never forget you, or what we had."

And with that, he kissed her hand, letting it linger a moment against his lips as he memorized its warmth and the softness of how it felt, then he turned around and left, leaving Natalie alone, watching him as he disappeared into the night.