The man standing before everyone looked odd, to say the least. Chris Mclean was not a tall man, but he wore a purple top hat made of velvet that made him seem just a little bit taller than he actually was. The initials "CM" were embroidered on his hat in gold. The rest of his outfit had a similar purple and gold theme: he was wearing a white shirt with a purple tie, followed by a gold vest that shimmered in the morning sun, and to top it off he wore an elaborate purple coat that seemed both extravagant and fashionable. Well, fashionable for his standards, at least. His pants were similarly purple with gold lining on the sides, and his shoes were an unremarkable shiny black. He carried with him a cane with red and white stripes, designed to look like a candy cane. When he looked out at the crowd, his dark, beady eyes scanned the crowd for the five winners, who were conveniently in a line in front of the gates. His mouth, surrounded by a perpetual five o'clock shadow, curled into a smile, though no one could tell if it was genuine or not.
"Hey everyone, nice to see you all and WELCOME TO...THE CHRIS ...MCLEAN...FACTORY TOUR!"
Everyone was stunned. He practiced this beforehand, Cameron thought in awestruck wonder. He looked over, and the four other winners were similarly awed by the introduction.
"First off, I would like to thank everyone for participating in my contest and for buying my chocolate, you have re-energized me and my career, I couldn't do this without everyone here, blah blah blah, et cetera, et cetera, and all that jazz." Chris looked at the news crews that had been inching forward as much as they could. "Now that all the PR mumbo-jumbo is done, the interesting part can begin. Winners, step forward to cash in your tickets."
The five kids and their parents, who lagged slightly behind, went up to Chris Mclean and held out their tickets. Mclean did a quick scan of the kids, before starting at one end, where Heather stood.
"Ok...Heather Watson, found the second Golden Ticket, though you didn't really find it, did you? That's ok, I don't judge too much."
"Hey, what are you suggesting? That I didn't win this ticket fair and square? Daddy, tell him that I deserve to be here just as much as everyone else, if not more! DO IT NOW!"
"Well, sweetheart, I'm sorry that Mr. Mclean was so mean to you. After the tour, I'll buy you something real nice to make up for that" Mr. Watson told her, which made her smile widely, before turning his attention to Chris. "Hello, Mr. Mclean, I'm Sir Nicholas Watson, owner of Watson's Peanuts. Heather won her place here, just like these other kids did, and I would advise you to not chastise her for it."
"Alrighty, Nick my dude, you're at a 10, I'm gonna need you to take it down to a 5. Relax, I'm not gonna disqualify her or anything, heh heh. Just asking questions."
"Well, you better watch it, Mclean, or else!" Heather yelled at him.
Chris raised an eyebrow and walked away to the next child. From the end of the line, Cameron and Grandpa Joe stood baffled. "Looks like her father's not the only one who's nuts" Grandpa Joe said.
"Okay, next up on the list, Cody Jameson-Anderson! How you doing today, my man?" Mclean said, stopping in front of the brown-haired boy, who didn't even look up at Chris, instead focusing on his phone with his earbuds in.
"Um...hello? Anybody there?" No response. "Ok, bud, if you don't have your ticket, I'm afraid I'll have to-"
Without looking up from his phone, Cody's hand shot up with the ticket in it. "Here you go, this should be everything you need."
"You'll have to excuse him, Mr. Mclean. He likes his technology quite a bit, and it's hard to get him off sometimes" Cody's father said. "So we've decided to just let him use it as much as he wants. What's the harm? Besides, it keeps him from getting into trouble in the real world."
"Well, I hope he'll join us during the tour, because he's not going to want to miss some of the stuff we have planned."
As Chris took the ticket from Cody, he waved his hand in front of the boy's face, to no reaction. Chris chuckled nervously as he moved on down the line.
"Hi, Chris, I'm Courtney Lopez. I hope you notice that I held my ticket out first. I also thought I should mention that I was the first one here today, if that matters...which it should. I hope you're doing well today, Chris!" the girl said with a smile that didn't seem entirely real.
"Ummmm...hi, Courtney. Normally I like people with this much energy, but it's too early in the morning for this." Chris said as he took the ticket from her hand. "So I'll make you a little deal: don't do….that, and we should be cool for the rest of the tour. Good? Good."
"But...but I-" Courtney protested.
"Hold that thought, I gotta talk to the next winner. See you inside!" Chris said as he motored over to Owen, who was finishing off the last of his mid-morning snack.
"Ok, big guy, I really appreciate you buying and eating so much of my chocolate! Really helped sales." Chris said.
"Hey, Daddy bought more bars than he did; I should be congratulated!" Heather shouted from the end of the line.
"But did you eat all those bars? Nope, didn't think so. Owen here did, and he didn't waste a single bar. So shush!" Chris replied with an annoyed look before turning his attention back to Owen. "So sorry about that. Ticket, please"
"Oh, sure, here you go, dude! Wow, this building is huge. I can't wait to go inside. Hold on a second." In one hand, he gave Chris the ticket, and in the other he reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple sausages, which he began to devour.
"Oh, geez, sorry dude, but I'm afraid there's no outside food allowed on the-wait, did you finish those things already?" Indeed he had. Chris stood baffled for a second before collecting himself. "Wow, that's impressive and pretty freaky, not gonna lie." The only response he got from Owen was a burp.
Chris took one more look at Owen and moved on to Cameron and Grandpa Joe. "Ok, last but hopefully not least, Cameron Wilkins! How are you doing today, Cam?"
"I'm doing pretty good, thanks! How are you?" Cameron responded cheerfully, with just a little bit of awe seeping into his voice.
"Oh, you know, living the dream. So you're the one who found his ticket just yesterday. Congratulations, but try not to leave it so late next time."
"Um...sorry about that. You see, I'm only given one Mclean bar a year, and-" Cameron said before he was interrupted.
"Yeah, I heard that. Well, it's a good thing you found the ticket when you did, or else we would have had to start the tour with only four kids, and that's a pretty bad look for the company. Who's this guy accompanying you?"
"My name is Joe Wilkins, sir. I've always been a fan." Grandpa Joe responded.
"Nice, nice. Good to hear" Chris said, taking Cameron's ticket and walking back up to the steps where he could see everyone. "Alright, now that I've collected all the tickets, it's time for everyone else to go away, and time for the winners and their guardians to follow me."
The five winners and their guardians stepped forwards until they and Chris were at the top step. Everyone else was slowly making their exit from the factory, and in a few minutes, the area was relatively quiet.
"Ok, now that that's done, we get to do the fun stuff! Everyone prepare to be thrilled, wowed, and amazed by the Mclean chocolate factory!" And with that, Chris opened the doors to the factory to reveal…
A hallway. A normal, drab hallway with dark wallpaper and a table in the middle. The energy was sucked out of the room as everyone filed in. "Ok, sorry to let you all down...ah, who am I kidding? The looks on your faces were priceless! This is the main hallway. It serves no real purpose beyond welcoming people into the factory, but if you'll direct your attention to the center table, you'll see there is a pen there."
"Yeah, I see it, but what's the big idea?" Cody asked, finally moving his eyes from his phone.
"Good question, Cody. Nice of you to join us. You will be using the official Mclean fountain pen to sign the official Mclean factory tour contract!" Chris proceeded to pull out a long scroll of paper that he lay across the table. It was a large table, but the contract used every square inch of its surface; It was a massive contract.
"So, who wants to sign first? There is no reward for signing first, and it doesn't even grant you bragging rights, but hey, I just thought I'd offer" Chris explained. Before he had finished talking, both Courtney and Heather's hands had shot up in the air. The two girls took notice and glared at each other. They both ran towards the contract, and Courtney ultimately grabbed the pen before Heather could.
"Great! Let it be known that I was the first to sign the contract...I should write that down in my list of accomplishments. I wonder if that's a world record" she said smugly as she wrote down her name neatly.
"Fine. Being second is better anyway. First place is for suck-ups anyway" Heather retorted as she daintily wrote her name down on the contract. As she walked back to her dad, she said "Daddy, I'm going to need another increase in my allowance. I'm emotionally injured" to which her father agreed to.
"Ok, clock's ticking here, guys. Who's next?" Chris asked. Cody shrugged and walked up to the contract, phone in his hands once again.
"Whoa, hold on there, Codemeister. Section 4, article XII of the contract explicitly prohibits electronics of any kind in the tour. So that means you're gonna have to leave your cell phone here, dude" Chris told the boy, who stared at him incredulously. "Dude, if you don't ditch the phone, I am legally allowed to chuck it at the wall."
"What the hell, man? I'm not gonna put my phone away just because you want me too or someth-WHAT THE HELL?!" Cody screamed as Chris took the phone out of his hands and threw it against the wall, where it shattered into many pieces.
"Relax, with a lifetime supply of candy, you can use the money you'd normally spend on candy to buy a new phone. Besides, I kinda wanted to do that. Now, if you wouldn't mind, the contract."
Cody grumbled as he walked up to the table, grabbed the pen, and half-heartedly scribbled his name. As he slunk back to the rest of the group, Owen walked up to the table. "Uh, Chris, what does this word say? The print is kinda small."
Chris walked over and inspected where Owen was pointing. "Owen, my man, that says chocolate."
"Oh, right. Yeah, now I see. The light must have been in my eyes or something, ha ha" the portly boy laughed nervously. "Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and sign." Owen printed his name in a style akin to a young child, and he made his way back to the lineup.
"Cameron, it's your turn to sign! Go on up!" said Grandpa Joe. Cameron nodded and walked up to the table, where he perused the document for a second before signing his name next to all the other signatures.
"Ok, Cameron, short and sweet. I like it. Anyway, now that that's all settled, I believe it is time to commence with the tour. Right this way to the first room!" Chris said.
"Wait, what exactly does that contract say, Mclean?" Courtney's mother asked from the crowd.
"Oh, don't worry about it. As long as everyone does what they're told and doesn't act like a total moron, everything should be fine. That answer your question? Of course it does. Well, we're here!" Chris replied before stopping in front of a giant pair of mahogany doors. "Now, I must prepare you all for what you are about to see. This first room is probably the most wondrous of all the rooms that you will see. It is the result of years of imagination, creativity, and isolation from society. I don't often say this, but I am genuinely excited for you to see it. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I present to you...the Chocolate Room!"
What did you think? Is there anything that I did well/could improve on for next time? I look forward to hearing your opinions.