For the next three weeks, Natalie reached out to Adrian via phone call, text message and even through the postal service, trying every way she could to convince him to reconsider and to not give up on his profession or on them. Try as she might, there was no breaking through. Each attempt went unanswered to her dismay.
Steven Albright was kept at bay, quite literally. Spending most of his days down at the Marina in a yacht that the navy used for temporary housing for its officers, he waited patiently for Natalie's answer or so it seemed. In the background, he and Natalie's parents were working a plan – mainly Steven and Peggy, to extract her from her life with Monk and bring her into a whole other world. It was for her good, her mother surmised and her father played along. But, as far as Natalie was concerned, they could pressure her all they wanted but she wouldn't give in until she knew for certain that things were over with Adrian.
The one person who wasn't pressuring her was Julie, who still secretly harbored the desire that Monk and Natalie could work it out and come together. In addition to this, she was still was somewhat cold to the idea of having Albright as her stepfather. He seemed to her so plastic and boring. Still, it was her mother's life and she tried to show respect to her by just supporting her in whatever it was she thought she wanted. And so, she kept her thoughts to herself.
Adrian's life during this time was one of increasing social isolation. He didn't want to talk to or fraternize with anyone, which worried everyone in his network. One of the first calls that Natalie made was to Dr. Bell. She told him everything that Adrian had said about how he believed he was cursed and about how he felt that simply knowing him was a danger, and Bell became alarmed. He called Adrian at home, suggesting that he come in to discuss matters and address the feelings that he was struggling with. Adrian agreed to do so, mainly to get him off of the phone, but only attended one session. At the end of that session, he stood and thanked Dr. Bell for his service but told him it wouldn't be needed any more. Talking things out couldn't fix him and he didn't wish to waste the good doctor's time.
Bell was slack-jawed when Monk left as he witnessed a complete dismantling of hope within a man who had proven himself to be so resilient, no matter what had happened to him. Adrian had shut himself down to all help and Bell worried that he was setting himself up for a complete mental collapse, or worse – but, due to privacy constraints he was unable to share these views with any of Monk's friends. Bell was by no means a religious man, but he did say a prayer for his longtime client and friend that day.
And so, Monk, in his depressive state, shut himself off from everyone – except for Leland. He did maintain contact with him. His reasons for this were not emotional but rather professional. He had summarily informed Leland of his intention to quit his consulting work, asking him to withhold all future cases as he prepared to retire; then, he requested his assistance in closing his career.
All that stood in front of him and his departure was achieving two remaining goals before turning in his badge. Then, he would be gone. The whole situation troubled Leland terribly and he lost a lot of sleep over it; but, he promised he would be there to help him see it through (if for no other reason than to keep a close watch on his friend whom he believed was in perilous danger).
The first thing Monk wished to complete was the investigation into Mitch Teeger's last days – at least enough to where Natalie could have closure. He felt that in order for her to have peace and the best shot of future happiness he needed to somehow bring this to a close so that she could walk into the future without that cloud hanging over her head. He knew that Mitch was innocent but needed enough documentation to where the Navy would reopen the case and send her definitive word that her husband was a hero. And, for that, he needed Leland's help.
Through his connections in law enforcement and elsewhere, Leland managed to get a hold of a myriad of records from Lawrence Chambers and Robbie Robinson's past. They were still searching for Cara Robinson, Robbie's wife, but the information that they received was enough to keep them busy.
Meanwhile, the tests on the tea-cup residue came back as positive for Ketamine, a quick acting sedative that was used to start anesthesia but was also becoming somewhat of a club drug. This knowledge caused the police to consider a wide array of possible suspects, but Monk still insisted that they keep it narrow. Molly knew her attacker, that much he was certain of, and he would see to it that whoever he was paid.
Alicia Prince looked for information from the various courier services that had been in Molly's neighborhood that day and when she mentioned Fed Ex, Monk was immediately reminded of the fact she had ordered Rickover's phone records. Not seeing them in the list of evidence, he asked Leland to re-order them so that he could examine them. He was hopeful that perhaps in them would be what he needed to solve her case and close out his second goal, but due to bureaucratic red tape - largely associated with a judicial order that was being stalled by one of Ethan's friends, for that they had to wait.
On the Monday of the 4th week since Adrian sent her away, Natalie had enough and felt she needed to force the issue. She planted herself on his doorstep hoping to talk to him when he would come in or out of the building. However, he was so determined not to see her, that when he came downstairs that morning and saw her blonde locks through the window of the front door, he went down the elevator to the basement, something that he never did, and exited the building via a back entrance. She literally sat there all day waiting for him to show up, but he avoided her. When she arrived home that evening, disappointed that he never appeared, there was a note on her door written in Monk's pristine block writing.
Taking it inside, she read through his words, broke down and cried. The letter read:
Dear Natalie,
I hope you are doing well and are moving on. By the number of phone calls and communications that I have received from you the past three weeks it is apparent that you are not. I meant it when I said it that it is over. We simply can't see each other any more or even talk. My presence in your life will hold you back and therefore I must insist that you not try to contact me anymore. I will be leaving soon anyway. I thought perhaps, Nevada. I escaped to there once and it's a place I can disappear. I wish you well. Goodbye.
Your former employer and friend,
Adrian Monk.
And that was it. That was her answer. No face-to-face. No phone call. Just a letter, a letter that she would have ripped into pieces if it weren't an artifact of him, a preservation of his writing and his thoughts at that moment of time. Instead, she folded it up neatly and put it in the envelope, walked it over to her hope chest where she kept Mitch's things, and locked it inside before heading into her bedroom, sitting down on her bed and picking up her telephone.
Her dreams were shattered and any hope of the future she wanted had ended. There was nothing left to fight for and so she surrendered.
"Hello, Steven." She said softly as the Lieutenant answered his phone. "I've come to a decision."
Albright waited anxiously as he heard her trembling voice on the other end of the phone and she tried to put a smile on her face to sound more excited, though her heart was broken.
"You have your answer?" he asked, expectantly.
"Yes. I will marry you. Yes, I will move with you to Tokyo." She replied, even as tears streamed down her face.
"Nat! Babe, that's tremendous!" he smiled. "Perfect timing even. The Admiral wants me to go out there in a couple of weeks. Do you think perhaps we could expedite things and have the wedding before we go?"
She paused for a moment, then said "Sure. Anything you want."
In that moment, Natalie couldn't have cared less about any detail of her wedding – the venue, the timing, the number of guests. She would leave it all up to him and her mother. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered except getting away. So, with that, it was set. She would be marrying Steven Albright on the 19th of May 2012 near the former Naval Station on Treasure Island, in between San Francisco proper and Julie's dorm at Berkeley.
Albright called Peggy who kicked into motion everything she had pre-prepared the moment she heard that he had proposed and Steven worked on securing the venue. The only thing Natalie needed to worry about was her dress. The announcements went out the next day and appeared in the paper's high society section by Thursday of that week. It might not be the wedding of the century, but it would be lovely - at least as far as Peggy Davenport was concerned.
Alicia Prince and Lisa Stringer were reading the announcement out loud to the guys in the squad room when Leland and Monk appeared. Immediately, a hush came across the room. Looking over at his Lieutenant, Stottlemeyer saw what they were looking at and frowned, knowing what it was since his wife had read the same thing to him earlier that morning.
"Uh..hey, there...Monk...why don't we go in here for a while and..." he said nervously, trying to divert Adrian away and to his office. But, Monk didn't follow. Instead, he walked over to where they were and picked up the newspaper they were reading. Pausing for a moment, he read the announcement taking note of the date of the ceremony and simply nodded. "Well…good."
Laying the paper down, he turned back towards Leland. "Ready to go look at those papers that forensics submitted about Molly?"
Leland paused for a moment and studied his friend. The lack of an emotional reaction was becoming somewhat expected; but still, knowing the contents of the story Monk just read and seeing his bland reaction, it took him aback. That's all he had to say? 'Well…good?'
His friend needed help.
Monk seemed to read his mind and became perturbed. "Are we going to work or gawk?" he snapped a little louder than he was intending. Suddenly, he was made aware that every eye was now on him and so he looked around. "Guess not." He stated softly. "Okay…well, if you'll excuse me. If we're not going to work, I'm going home now." He turned away.
"Monk." Leland said, reaching out and trying to get him to stay.
"Let me know if you see anything interesting." Adrian replied before walking out the door.
For the next week and a half, events were a flurry in the Davenport and Teeger households. Peggy couldn't understand why Natalie took so little interest in her own wedding but she avoided arguing with her as she wanted to appear supportive – unlike how she had been with Mitch. Julie visited her mother often and they would talk and reminisce and try to keep things light; but, at night, when she slept in her old bed across the room from her mother's, she would hear Natalie crying and it broke her heart.
Adrian tried to stay busy and not think about the upcoming nuptials, working day and night on both Molly's case and Mitch's in order to bring closure for them all. Still, the announcement, like a ticking time bomb flashed constantly through his mind until it became a sort of grim countdown which robbed him of sleep, nourishment and peace.
What had he done? He had pushed away the only woman that he had loved since Trudy into the arms of a man who was far from worthy of her. He had cast away joy and happiness and anything good because of - why? Oh, how he wished she were there right now – holding him, comforting him as she always did. He knew he was in trouble emotionally and yet he couldn't claw his way out. To top things off, he had foolishly rejected anyone that could help him – for what? Why did he send her away? And why didn't she fight him more? But even as he thought those thoughts, he knew he wasn't being fair. She did fight for him and he rejected her – so now, she's rejected him by respecting his wishes. He had gotten what he asked for. What he deserved. And, now, he had to face the task of moving on.
The date was May 18th and Julie and Natalie had spent the morning picking up their wedding attire and stopping by the flower shop to collect the simple bouquet that Natalie would carry as she married Steven the next day. She had chosen yellow roses to symbolize a new beginning, but even as the florist showed her the final product, she couldn't bring herself to be too excited about this new venture. It just didn't feel right. She was getting married in the morning and her best friend was not there.
Julie excused herself after lunch, needing to run some errands related to school before she would join her mom for dinner that night and Natalie ran over to her parents to give them their corsages and to thank them once more for everything they had done. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner had been the night before and Jonathan had flown back into town which made it extra special. Peggy was in her element as she bossed the wedding coordinator around and made the final preparations. And Steven looked handsome as ever, holding her while they sat on a park bench as he told her about where they would be living in Tokyo and the schools their children would attend and about a whole plethora of things that they had never really discussed before, but he assumed he knew. Be that as it was, Natalie found herself going along with it all, willing herself to soldier on and telling herself it would soon be over.
At five o'clock at night she told her parents goodbye and that she would see them at the venue at eight in the morning. They had chosen to have an early wedding in order to allow time for a celebration luncheon before the bride and groom had to leave. The flight to Tokyo from San Francisco International was going to be ten-hours so they wanted to leave early so as to give them plenty of time at the airport before they settled in. Natalie had already packed up a number of things from her house to put into storage and would get the rest in a month when she came back from her honeymoon and closed down the house. She knew that day would be there quicker than anyone could imagine.
Pulling into her driveway at six-fifteen, Natalie quickly jumped out of her car and rushed up her steps with keys in hand in order to get inside and get dinner started. She wasn't sure when Julie would arrive, she didn't say, but she wanted to have it ready.
As she reached the front porch, a manilla envelope sticking in the crack of the door fell onto the ground the moment she opened the door. Curious, she bent down to see who it was from and drew her hand to her mouth and gasped as she recognized the writing on the outside as Adrian's.
She stopped and looked around, hoping she could see his car, and when she didn't, she went inside – not realizing that he had paid an Uber driver to take him there just to make sure the package was received into her hands. Knowing that it was so, he tapped the driver on the shoulder and had him take him home.
Setting down her bouquet and keys on her dining room table, Natalie moved into her living room where she took a seat upon the couch. Her heart beat strongly within her chest as nervously, she unsealed the envelope and pulled out a second envelope within. As she went to unseal that envelope, she found it had already been opened and there was a simple note on the back in Monk's own handwriting.
Knowing is Everything. Be Happy and Live In Peace.
Yours Always – A. Monk
She felt herself whelm up when she read the words but held back her tears as she eagerly lifted the flap of the other envelope and was surprised when she saw the letterhead of the letter inside. It was from the Secretary of the Navy.
She read the first two sentences of the letter and the dam broke. She began to sob and shake so hard that she dropped the letter on the floor as she realized the enormity of the gift that Adrian had given her. Then slowly, she picked it up again and absorbed each and every word on the page.
Secretary of the Navy
Washington, DC – 40350
May 17, 2012
Dear Mr. Monk,
My colleagues and I received your well-researched dossier concerning the death and alleged desertion of Lieutenant Commander Mitchell "Mitch" Teeger, who perished in Kosovo in March 1998. Upon review, we have come to the conclusion that Lieutenant Commander Teeger was not guilty of the crimes of which he was accused.
As you are well aware, the Navy had received testimony from two different witnesses, Lieutenant Harrison Chambers and Ensign Lawrence Robinson about the activities surrounding Teeger's final flight. A third member of their team, Teeger's wing-man, Scott Berends also perished that day, we believe at the hands of Serbian Militia – and therefore, the only information we had concerning that fateful flight came from Chambers and Robinson.
In reviewing the data you sent us, it is clear, first of all that Chambers and Robinson both came into a large sum of money sometime prior to the end of their tour of duty which was one month after Teeger's demise. It is also clear that Teeger was working on information requests concerning one Nadia Yaroslav, a known Serbian agent with whom Teeger was seen talking in a diner in the month that he died. Given these two pieces of information, it seemed reasonable to us that, as you have theorized, Teeger was pursuing a line of inquiry about certain breaches in Naval intelligence that had occurred during the weeks prior to his death. It also made sense to us that he would not want to go to his command unless he had something solid, and so we had our investigators poke around.
Given what we now know from classified sources, it is clear to us that Lieutenant Commander Teeger was seeking to thwart a case of internal subterfuge and espionage and to secure national assets from falling into enemy hands. Therefore, it is this department's determination that the story of Mitch Teeger deserting his post was a lie and we find no evidence whatsoever to support the idea that Teeger was a traitor to his country in any sense. We have reopened his case in order to get to the bottom of who would have committed this crime and to determine if he was killed as an act of war or an act of treason.
Thank you very much for bringing this to our attention. It is rare that we find such thorough and well-reasoned evidence to counter our earlier conclusions, but when we find that we are wrong we will admit it. Please provide our sincerest apologies to Lieutenant Commander Teeger's family and let them know that justice will be served and Mitch will somehow receive the honor he deserves.
Sincerely yours,
Admiral J.C. Colbridge
Adrian arrived home a little before seven, paid his driver then decided to take an evening stroll down to Huntingdon Park since the weather was fair. He really wasn't in the mood to go home yet, having just seen Natalie for what might be the very last time. And so, he decided to fill his mind with other things, things about work, memories of other things that would keep him from concentrating too hard on the ONE thing that was happening the next day – the thing he didn't want to think about at all. And so, he walked. Six blocks down to a park that this time of the evening was still fairly busy. He took a seat on the bench and watched some children play and he smiled a saddened smile.
While he was sitting there, a young man in a black shirt and pants came and sat down next to him. Monk felt a little perturbed by the intrusion but figured one of them would move on soon, and besides, Monk was sitting in the very seat that his Natalie had sat weeks before and didn't want to move.
After a few moments silence, the young man leaned back against the bench. "Beautiful night tonight, isn't it." he said. Monk did not respond.
"Do you visit here often?" he asked. "I could swear that I saw you here a few weeks ago, in this very seat."
Adrian looked over at the man, curiously. "Yeah. I was here. And, you remember me…how?"
The gentleman chuckled, "Oh, I work across the street" he said, reaching in his pocket and pulling out a scrap of white cloth that Monk recognized was a clerical collar.
"Ah. You work at the church." Monk replied.
"Yes." The priest replied. "I'm just getting off work."
Monk furrowed his brow. "Oh. Excuse my ignorance. I'm not Catholic. I thought you all worked all the time."
The man laughed. "No. It just feels that way sometimes. I was just down here to perform a funeral. Older lady in our congregation who was the last of her family."
"Ah."
"She outlived ten brothers and sisters, her parents, three husbands and one child." He said. "Never heard her complain a day in her life. After a lifetime of tragedy and pain, she would still say she was blessed – because while many of those in her life were gone way too soon, she still got the pleasure of knowing them; and, she would say that this was a gift that she wouldn't have traded for the world.
As a matter of fact, I asked her, when I visited her in hospice care just last week, what she would change if she could do everything over again and she said, not a thing. She told me 'Father Mike, Our Lord suffered pain and wept, who are we to think that we should escape such things? He gives and he takes away but he never leaves us without comfort if we'll just reach out to Him. You don't even need to know the right words to say and He doesn't expect big flowery speeches. Just to talk to Him and seek after Him. That's all.' And, I asked her, 'Well, Mima – doesn't it all just get too hard sometimes?'"
Monk was listening intently to the story. "What did she say?"
"She said, 'Father Mike. You know it does. It gets awfully hard sometimes. But that's when He carries you.' Then she smiled and looked up towards the ceiling and said 'Weeping endures for the night but joy comes in the morning. God wants His children to have joy, brother Mike. Not waste their lives in being sad.'"
Monk inhaled deeply as he once again heard the words that came close to mimicking Trudy's and suddenly, he knew he could no longer stay. So, he said goodnight to the priest and began running back to his Apartment, all the why thinking of how he had made a mistake and wishing he could turn back the hands of time. When finally, he reached his building he stood outside his door for several minutes trying to decide whether to go inside or whether to try to talk to Natalie. Finally, he opened the door, walked inside and threw his keys on the counter. Turning on the lights in his living room, he picked up a picture from the mantle of himself and the Teegers and studied it for a long time.
"God wants us to be happy. Maybe I don't know how to be happy." He said to himself. "Or maybe I'm afraid to be happy because I'm afraid it's going to end. I wish it was different."
Standing up from his seat, he returned the photo to the mantle and touched Natalie's face. "God, how I want to be happy. Please…don't let this pain be all there ever is."
Julie Teeger arrived home around seven-forty that evening and was surprised to find that the lights were on but dinner wasn't. Looking around the main floor of her house, she didn't see her mother and so she looked upstairs where she saw Natalie's bedroom light was on. Thinking perhaps she had fallen asleep, she quietly climbed the stairs and made her way to the room, where once again she heard her mother crying. She closed her eyes and swallowed. Here she was to be married in the morning and this was still happening? This wasn't good.
Slowly, she opened the door and her mouth gaped in shock at the sight she saw. Natalie was sitting in her bedroom floor, clasping one of her father's military uniforms to her chest and holding onto a piece of paper as she wept.
Julie's eyes widened. "Mom. Are you alright?" But, Natalie couldn't answer. Just seeing her daughter made the moment all the more emotional as she reached out the arm that held the paper and invited her daughter in so she could hold her while she cried.
Julie stayed there for a long time until Natalie's tears subsided and she waited patiently for her mother to tell her precisely what had precipitated them. And so, Natalie stood up and gently draped her late husband's uniform over a chair, and invited her now-adult daughter to sit next to her on the bed before telling her the entire story.
With words, she took her from the story of a young mother in her twenties being notified of her husband's death to the horrible accusations made against him by men that he had trusted ;from the only person that she told the story to and how he was faithful to keep her secret, to her mistaken assumption that he had betrayed her and then to how he had forgiven her after Molly's death but not only that, had gone one step further in taking responsibility, in the midst of his grief, to see that Mitch's name was cleared.
The story itself was to be about Julie's dad but it wound up being about both men in their lives – both equally heroic in their own ways. And when she completed telling her daughter that which she had hidden from her all of those years, Natalie reflected on Adrian's gift and simply said "That's amazing, isn't it?" But Julie countered her with "No, Mom. That's love."
With that, the waterworks began to flow again and Natalie began to cry. Julie reached over to her mother and pulled her in for a hug.
"Now, why are you crying again?" she asked, at Natalie's tears. "You're supposed to be happy."
Natalie cried even more. "I know…I just… can't seem to…stop." She sobbed. "I don't know why."
Julie sighed and rubbed her mom's back. "Oh…but I think you do."
Natalie sat straight up and looked at her daughter's eyes and recognized the knowing look within. Immediately, she decided to pull herself up from the floor and move away rather than embark upon a conversation that she was afraid to have.
"Well, it's not important now. Are you hungry? I'm hungry…let's go make something to eat."
"Mom, it is important – it's as important as those vows that you'll be taking tomorrow morning." Julie said, reaching out for her mother's arm. "Please, stay and talk."
"We can talk downstairs. Would you like some chicken salad? I made some chicken salad yesterday afternoon…or was that Wednesday?"
"Mom. Stop. This isn't about food. You're trying to ignore the obvious."
Natalie turned to her and looked her daughter in the eyes. "The obvious. Which is?"
Julie's bluntness in her next statement took Natalie aback. "That you are not in love with the man you are about to marry tomorrow because there's only ever been one man for you since dad died and that is Mr. Monk."
Natalie was speechless for a second but then regained her strength. "Julie, Adrian and I were friends."
"Yes, you were – still are if the two of you will stop and work it out. But for a long time, you've been more than just friends and don't deny it. I grew up in this house and I saw how you interacted with each other – how you were like each other's second skin – I watched as you watched over him for years and knew from the time I was an early teen that you were in love with him. And, I've also seen how he looks at you. Mom, Mr. Monk loves you."
"Then why did he throw me away?"
"Why does Mr. Monk do anything that's contrary to what he really wants to do? Fear? Poor man is likely terrified after losing Molly that he'll lose you too and so he acted the way Mr. Monk acts when he's afraid. He ran."
"Yes. He ran – or worse, he forced me to run, away from him. Julie, why would a man who loves you do that to you?"
"Come on now, we both know Adrian loves you. It's crazy to suggest otherwise. So, that's not even in question. What is in question is why you're marrying a man that you don't love."
"Steven's a good man."
"Maybe. Perhaps." She replied. "Frankly, I'm not impressed – but let's say he is. Are you being fair to him by marrying him when you're in love with someone else?"
"Steven is here. Adrian is not. Julie, I have waited for 11 years for Adrian to see me as a woman and not just as his assistant. I thought we were getting there recently but then he shut me out. I'm forty-two years old. I can't afford another 11 years of hoping for something that isn't going to materialize - particularly since he has now thrown me away. Honey…yes, I love him and I have for a long time but sweetie, I have no guarantee that he'll EVER get past his fear enough to even give us a chance. And besides, it gets lonely here alone. I don't want to waste any more time longing for what I can never have when... just maybe, it could be good between Steven and I. You never know."
Julie scoffed. "Well now there's a raging endorsement for a lasting marriage. Maybe it could be good? You never know? Seriously Mom?"
Natalie turned away.
"Mom, I'm saying these things because I want my mom to be happy. I want you to have a beautiful marriage, not just a quicky wedding and marriage that may be good. You've been through a lot in your life, and we know Mr. Monk has too, but you've both pulled through it – and part of the reason that you both are doing so well is because of each other. He's been there with us Mom, day in and day out for the past eleven years. Yeah, he's not here right now but good grief, look what just happened! Molly was like his long lost daughter or something. He's crushed. He's going to make some poor decisions.
Don't look at those decisions but lets' focus on the two men. Mr. Monk helped to raise your daughter from the time she was a pre-teen. He didn't have to do that. What boss does that? He counseled me and came to my events. He encouraged me and watched over me. He taught me all sorts of things just like a dad would do. And he loved me and he loved you – even to the point of risking his life for you. He's been there.
Steven…well…I suppose he's an okay guy. He's polite. Nice looking, but knows it, which makes him less nice looking. He might look good in a speedo but frankly, he's not my type so I'd rather not."
"Julie!"
"But he's been dating my mother for three years and have we ever hit it off? Has he taken an interest? Has he once done a fatherly thing for me – and granted, I'm grown now and you're the one who has to live with him not me…but Mom, I'm talking about character here and I'm talking about what would really make my Mom happy."
Natalie reached up and touched her daughter's shoulder.
"Sweetie…I know you are, and I hear what you're saying. But as you get older you're going to find that life doesn't always turn out the way that you want it to."
"Well, it sure as heck won't turn out the way you want it to if you knowingly go down a path that is wrong."
Natalie looked away. But Julie would not relent.
"Okay, mom. Tell me you love Steven and I'll stop. Tell me you love him and I'll go away and support your decision 100%."
Natalie paused. "Sweetie. It's complicated."
"Oh, bull! Mom, it is not complicated. It's the easiest thing in the world. Mom...you've always encouraged me my whole life to follow my heart and do the right thing...I'm telling you tonight that if you can't stand at that altar tomorrow morning and look in that man's eyes and know that you love him completely, that you need to back away. It'll be a disaster and only cause you and him pain and trouble down the road.
Listen to me. Don't settle. Whether Mr. Monk ever comes back or not – don't just go making a life-altering move like this when you know that your heart's not in it. Don't say yes, if you can't a million percent agree that Steven's the guy. You're worth more that that. Besides, it'll p' off grandma."
Natalie laughed at that and hugged her daughter close.
"I love you Julie. You know I do." She said. "And there is a lot of wisdom in what you said. But sometimes following your heart and doing the right thing don't necessarily align and you have to choose. I need to move on. I can't stay here in San Francisco when everywhere I look I see him. Every corner. Every shop. Even at the grocery. I need to just…get away, and Tokyo…well, it's a new adventure. A whole new day."
Julie nodded sadly. "So you're going through with it?"
Natalie smiled. "I believe I am."
Julie shrugged. "Well, I tried. I support you, no matter what you do and I love you even more."
Natalie gave her a bear hug. "When did I get to have such a wonderful daughter?"
"Eh…pretty much from the beginning." She smirked. "Let's go and get some of that chicken salad. I'm starved."
The morning alarm clock rang and Natalie and Julie both jumped out of the bed – Natalie rushing off to the shower and Julie down to the kitchen to make a non-greasy breakfast which they quickly devoured. Arriving at the church fifteen minutes early, they entered the foyer where Natalie was greeted by Steven, much to her chagrin. He was holding a newspaper.
"Hey Babe you look gorgeous! Check this out!" he said with a big toothy grin, holding up the morning edition.
The headline said in big block letters: DAVENPORT HEIRESS TO MARRY NAVAL DOCTOR AT TREASURE ISLAND TODAY.
Natalie read the words and rolled her eyes. "Steven, get out of here. You're not supposed to see me. It's bad luck!"
"Luck, schmuck." He said. "That ought to get some of those high-society idiots wagging their tongues. They never liked you marrying Navy to begin with. Now, you go and marry another one. Ha! Take that!"
Julie set her jaw. "Those idiots are my grandparents' friends and I'm sure that this is not why Mom is marrying you."
"I'm sure you're right, Peanut." He replied.
Julie became even more angry. "Don't you EVER call me that, Steven."
"Huh?"
"Just move along." Natalie said, pushing him out of the room to avoid a serious argument. "I'll see you in an hour and a half. Not before."
Steven tried to kiss her but she put her hand over his face and pushed him away. He left the room.
She then turned around and looked at Julie whose eyes were filled with tears. She lowered her chin and reached out and touched Julie's face.
"It's okay. I'll talk to him about it." She said.
"It's not okay. He's not my dad and he's not Adrian. He hasn't earned the right to call me by any other name than my own." She said, angrily.
"I know, sweetie. Like I said. I'll talk to him about it." She replied. "Try to not let it bother you. We're going to be a family. I promise you will end up liking each other. We'll make it work."
Julie stared silently at her mom and then shook her head.
"Well." Natalie sniffed. "We'd better start getting ready if we're doing this thing."
Back in Russian Hill, Monk too had just picked up the newspaper and read the damnable headline which caused all of his carefully constructed emotional barriers to tear apart at the seams. Intellectually, he had told himself this was happening and even tried to convince himself that it was a good thing; but, somehow seeing it in big bold letters coupled with her smiling face simply obliterated all of his defenses, causing him to devolve into a bleeding, sweaty heap of brokenness.
In losing Trudy, he thought his life was over. It took him fifteen years to want to live again.
Losing Molly had been a terrible shock and he knew that it wasn't something that he hadn't fully come to terms with; but, it was familiar territory since it put him back into investigator mode, allowing his mind to focus on finding her killer rather than the heinous way in which she died. His grief reaction, he told himself, wasn't entirely abnormal which was a step better than the catatonia that he had experience after Trudy; so, he could almost convince himself he was handling it well, even though that he knew he wasn't.
But this thing with Natalie, it felt completely different. He had fallen in love, something he thought impossible after Trudy died; and, not just any love, love with his best friend. Opening the cloistered chambers of his heart, he had begun to hope again, to plan, to dream. But now, as he lay with is cheek flush against the hardwood floor of his now destroyed living room, he wondered if he had finally reached a mountain too high for him to climb. He hadn't the energy nor the will to push forward any more. He had lost everything that mattered to him and having awakened, he just wanted to go back to sleep and stay away, never feeling, never loving, never wanting anything again until death took him. The priest was wrong. God couldn't want for everyone to be happy, else why subject him to everything He had?
"You win. I lose." He whispered, not even raising his head. "I surrender. Do with me as you will." And then he closed his exhausted eyes and went to sleep.
At the island, the service had begun. It was an exceedingly small affair by Davenport standards, having roughly 75 attendees, mostly Steven's family and a few business associates of Natalie's father. Jonathan, Julie and her parents were really the only Davenports present and the bride's only friends were Leland Stottlemeyer, his wife T.K. and Randy Disher who had flown in for the ceremony with regards from Sharona who had to work. But that didn't matter to Natalie at all. All that mattered was escaping the pain that San Francisco now held for her; and for that she would ignore everything else, telling herself that it was the right thing to do even as her heart said 'no.'
The music had just begun and Julie had made her way down to the front of aisle where she stood across from Steven and his best man, a fellow from Steven's submarine whom it occurred to her she had never heard of. Where were this man's friends? Did he have any relationships that were real?
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bridal march being played by the string quartet her grandmother had ordered up and the vision of her mother and grandfather standing at the other end of the aisle. Natalie's gown was a very simple crème and pink 1920s vintage drop-waist dress that hit her at the knees and emphasized very little of her form. Her hair was fashioned in era-appropriate waves and a beaded feather headpiece accentuated the style – which was a bit different for Natalie, yet still looked classy.
As Natalie made her way down the aisle, Julie noticed something. Other than Steven's sister Amy, her grandparents and Steven himself – nobody was smiling. Did everyone feel as Julie felt, that this marriage was a catastrophe in the making?
They reached the front of the auditorium and Natalie nervously smiled at Steven and then over at Julie whose sad smile in return only served to make her anxiety worse. But, she soldiered on, taking a deep breath and willing herself to do what she had to do.
When the justice of the peace asked "Who gives this woman to be wed." Natalie's father's "Her mother and I" was barely heard by Natalie whose mind was too busy reminding her of Julie's conversation, peppering her with questions about how she really felt. Could she really make this work – this coerced marriage between herself and a man she didn't love?
Julie stepping forward and taking her bouquet from her broke her out of her daze and she turned to face Steven whose piercing blue eyes did not express a look of joy, rather one of triumph, so much so that they caused Natalie's breath to hitch.
"Please join hands." the justice said as he stood before the crowd. Steven stepped forward and Natalie took his hands and then looked at him intently, attempting to push away all thoughts that would keep her from following through. But, the more the officiant spoke, the more she found herself questioning every phrase. Unlike Natalie, the Davenports didn't have any particular beliefs about religious faith as was evidenced by Jonathan's earlier wedding in which this same justice served, so at least she wouldn't have to deal with attaching her vows to a commitment before God, but many of the other words that the man spoke gave her pause.
"I'd like to welcome you all to this ceremony as we celebrate the union of this man and this woman, Steven and Natalie into the bonds of matrimony."
Bonds. I am going to be bound to this man for the rest of my life, or until he dies.
"Marriage is an adventure. It can be challenging at times and sometimes not altogether pleasant, but with a deep abiding love and respect, many people face those challenges and have successful partnerships for many years."
Marriage is a commitment. Not an adventure. It isn't to be entered into lightly. Why is he skipping that part? And what happens if there isn't that deep abiding love? Come on Natalie. Not every marriage is based on love. Many marriages are arranged. Think of it like that, an arranged marriage. But arranged by whom?
"I've talked a bit with Steven and Natalie and it seems they are ready to face those challenges together, knowing that together they can reach a completeness as human beings that they never could alone."
What's he talking about? I said hello to him two nights ago. We never talked. Where did my parents get this guy? Did he talk with Steven? Maybe. And what about completeness? Do I feel complete with Steven? Would I feel complete without him? What would make me feel complete? Not being alone. That's important. Marry Steven and you won't be alone. That's what you're here for, Natalie. Stop questioning everything! Just get through it! It will all be fine.
"Therefore, it is my pleasure to stand here to bring together this couple as an outward testimony to what their hearts have already done – from henceforth they will be friends, lovers, partners, each sharing 100% of themselves with the other without reserve as long as life endures.
Now, Steven, Natalie, are you ready to repeat your vows after me?
Both of them said. 'Yes.'
"I'll start with Steven. Steven, repeat after me. 'I Steven, take you Natalie'"
"I Steven, take you Natalie!"
"To be my lawfully wedded wife."
"To be my lawfully wedded wife."
As Steven repeated the formal vows, Natalie's mind flashed back to images of Adrian and herself, the time where he rescued her from the dump truck and meticulously cleaned the dirt off of her face, the time that she held his head in her lap and comforted him when he was afraid in the bank, the time where she thought he was dead and the joy of discovering he had faked his death and when she found him in that car wash, his holding her in his arms outside the ambulance when that woman tried to kill her, his laying his head against her shoulder when he thought he had days to live – and then there were the more recent times, sitting together on her couch late at night watching some old movie, watching him begin to laugh again and finding that he really did have a good, albeit dry, sense of humor, dancing with him in that restaurant and in that field, coming oh so close to kissing him that day, and being there with each other in their darkest times. He had become everything to her, the only man since Mitch that she had truly loved and the very best friend she ever had. And yet, he wasn't here. She was giving her life away to a man she hardly knew and Adrian wasn't even there to support her. He didn't have to love her the way that she loved him. But to not even be there on the most momentous day of her life?
"Natalie…Natalie?" the justice said, snapping her back to the present.
"Huh…Oh!" she said, embarrassed. "I'm sorry." She looked up at Steven who still smiled but his eyes looked flat and even irritated at her lapse in attention.
"Are you ready to repeat your vows?" the officiant asked.
"Yes. I am ready." She stated, looking up at Steven, then to her parents who were smiling uncomfortably and then at Jonathan who was not smiling at all.
"Alright, repeat these words." The man said. "I Natalie, take you Steven…"
Natalie's eyes looked over at Julie who appeared to be exercising steady control over her own emotions – the look on her face showing that she was only doing this for her mother. She looked back over at Steven.
"I Natalie, take you…" she paused and swallowed, choking back the emotion that was building in her throat. "Excuse me…" she said, uncomfortably, motioning for Jonathan to hand her a bottle of water. While she waited, she lifted up her eyes and met Leland's whose gaze spoke volumes to her. She inhaled deeply and took the bottle from Jonathan, chugalugging the contents until the container was completely empty. Then she handed it back and turned and faced Albright.
"Okay…let's try this again." The officiant said uncomfortably. "I Natalie, take you Steven."
Natalie took a deep breath and repeated "I Natalie, take you Sssss…" She cleared her throat. "I Natalie, take you…"
Julie bit her lip and held her breath as she and the rest the members of the congregation tilted their heads towards the stage.
"I..."