"Chocolate Transmogrifier? What the hell is that?" Cody asked quizzically. Chris smirked and slapped the side of the machine. "This, dude, is like a video camera, but like, a million times cooler than that. And I know I tend to be a little vague whenever I describe a new invention of mine, but I can assure you that this will revolutionize the way we advertise and watch TV!" Chris responded.

"You also said that gum would revolutionize the way we ate, and that one girl turned into a blueberry." There was silence for a bit as Chris thought of a retort, but then he dropped it. "Anyway, you might be asking yourself, does this guy even watch TV? He seems way out of touch with everything. The answer may surprise you: I do watch TV!" No one in the group was surprised by this. Chris cleared his throat and continued. "After a long day at the factory, there's nothing I love more than sitting down and relaxing with the TV on, but there's one thing that always irks me: the commercials!" The rest of the group nodded in agreement. "I actually find commercials quite informative, as they can inspire me to create my ads, but none of those stupid ad agencies know how to do it right! It's just a picture of this, a video of that, a demonstration of these, et cetera, et cetera! It's uninspired and frankly boring! So, as I usually do whenever I have a grievance with something, I got to work. What if, I thought, you could not only send someone a picture of a Mclean candy bar, but you could send them a bar as well?" The group raised their collective eyebrows. "I can't say I've ever heard of such a thing, Chris. It sounds almost impossible!" Cameron said, doubting Chris for a rare second.

"Impossible? I think not! Without getting into all the science-y stuff that would bore you to death, I was able to harness the power of radio waves and TV signals in such a way that could make a physical chocolate bar appear in a person's TV"

Cody spoke up."What kind of radio waves? How can you manifest a physical item out of a metaphysical space? How would the tv know to-"

"Shush, man. All in due time. A great magician never reveals his tricks! But yes, it took a lot of trial and error, not to mention a couple months with energy bills through the roof, but I eventually got the hang of it! I tell ya, when I transported a chocolate bar for the first time, I almost jumped clear through the ceiling!" The rest of the group looked at each other, still very confused as to what Chris was talking about. Perhaps sensing the group's confusion, Chris continued. "Let me explain. Say you're watching a TV show and it cuts to commercials. Pretty lame, right? But just imagine me appearing on your TV and saying something like 'Here at the Mclean Chocolate Factory, we strive to bring you the best, most delicious chocolate and candies money can buy! But don't just take my word for it, try it for yourself!' At that point, I would use that giant video camera over there to zap a chocolate bar, and then...poof! You could just reach into your TV and pull the chocolate bar out to give it a try!" The group murmured in approval. "You mean, you're really able to do that?" Cameron asked, to which Chris nodded. "Sure am, Cam! As a matter of fact, let me give you a practical demonstration!"

With that, Chris pulled out a chocolate bar from his pocket (Cameron wondered how long that had been in there) and walked over to the center of the room. An intern met him and handed him what appeared to be a tiny remote control. Chris pressed a button on it and a pair of mechanical arms with claws on the end extended from the side of the satellite dish at the top of the room. They extended downward until they were parallel to each other horizontally, with a few inches of space between them. Chris then took the chocolate bar and, while gesturing to the crowd, placed it in between the claws so that the bar stayed in midair. "Everyone, please move over to the TV! You don't wanna miss this!", Chris then said as he went behind the large video camera. The group shuffled over to the TV, where a couple interns had set up chairs and were currently channel surfing. Cameron looked over at Grandpa Joe. "Grandpa, I'm not so sure those interns are supposed to be doing that", he said with a laugh. Grandpa Joe joined in on the laughter. "Will you two shut it? I'm trying to see what he's doing!" Cody hissed at them, earning himself some glares from Cam and Grandpa Joe. Suddenly, the TV buzzed with static before focusing in on Chris' face. The group looked back at Chris, who was currently standing behind the video camera. Despite him facing the wrong way, he was still being filmed perfectly by the camera.

"Hey, everyone! I know seeing my pretty face is incredible enough, but trust me when I say you ain't seen nothing yet! Observe!" With that, he pushed a button on the video camera and the room started to hum. It wasn't loud, but Cameron thought he felt the floor start to vibrate. He noticed that Cody had taken his phone out and was now sneakily trying to record what was going on. The humming continued for a little longer before the camera emitted a beam of teal light that hit the chocolate bar dead on. As the bar was hit by the beam, Cameron noticed something. "Hey, the chocolate is disappearing!" To him, it seemed like the chocolate was there one second and gone the next. With the bar completely vanished from sight, everyone looked at each other for a minute before Grandpa Joe spoke up. "Wait a second, what's going on? It looks like something's coming out of the TV!" "Is it the candy bar?" Cody's father asked. "It is! Just like Mr. Mclean said!" Cameron exclaimed. On the TV screen, an image of the chocolate bar had appeared and was getting larger and larger until it almost magically pushed through the screen with a pop and landed on the floor. Everyone stood in silence for a second before Chris appeared back on screen. "See? Told ya! Go ahead, try it, I guarantee it tastes like the real thing!" he said. Cameron picked the bar up, tore off the wrapper, and began distributing squares to the other three. They all tried it and were amazed by how delicious it was. "It's just like the real thing!" said Grandpa Joe. "No, it's even better!" said Cameron.

Chris rejoined the group. "I'm glad you think so! As a matter of fact, we also have a smaller version of this that can do the same thing with smartphones. That one is still in development, but the Mclean factory is moving into the 21st century! We actually have a research team dedicated to figuring out the latest trends, apps, and sites on the Internet so we can entice the teenage demographic." Chris opened a door right next to the TV that read "SOCIAL MEDIA RESEARCH", and inside were about five interns sitting in what looked like a board room. One was showing what looked like a Powerpoint presentation on "How to hit the Whoa: A beginner's guide". The rest of the group looked quizzically at the room before looking at Chris. "Well, they may be a little bit behind the times, but no more than other major corporations!"

"So, does the smartphone ad transmit a smaller candy, or will the same kind of candy bar be sent through the screen?" Cameron asked. Chris

"Good question, Cam! You were right the first time, the candy bar will shrink to a smaller size. But fear not, there is still just as much flavor in that small piece of chocolate! Already, we've contacted companies such as Youtube and Facebook to play our advertisements from time to time!" Cody glared at him. "Oh, come on man! Ads are the worst part of any social media site! Anyone who's spent five minutes on the internet can attest to that!" Chris shrugged his shoulders with a cheeky grin. "I mean, you have to be impressed!" he responded.

Cody rolled his eyes, then thought about this for a second. "So, if you can send a chocolate bar by TV, can you send anything?" he asked.

"Absolutely, it's not limited to chocolate" Chris responded.

"So it would be possible to send, oh, I don't know, a person by TV? Like, with the same technology?"

"Well, I suppose so, but I'm not sure why anyone would want to do that. But to answer your question, yes, you could send someone by TV."

"That settles it! I'm gonna be the first person sent by TV!" Cody exclaimed. With that, he bolted for the raised platform in the center of the room. "Cody, wait, no, come back", Chris said, with exasperated boredom in his voice. Cody's father tried to intercept his son on the way but failed and was left to helplessly plead with him as he ran towards the video camera. "Come on, Cody, please! I'll buy you another phone when we get back!" he shouted, but it did not good: Cody had reached the video camera and was now scouring the buttons for the right combination.

"Hey Mclean, how do you work this thing? Oh wait, I think I figured it out!" Cody shouted to Chris as the latter simply rolled his eyes and sighed. "Chris, aren't you gonna try and stop him?" Cameron asked. "I'd love to, but if he's already figured it out, there's not much I can do now" was the reply. At the camera, Cody pressed a button with conviction and rushed towards the central platform. The room began to rumble again as light began to emit from the camera. Grandpa Joe leaned to Cameron and said "I don't like the look of this, Cam. Not one bit." Cameron nodded in agreement. The video camera, now fully powered up, shot out a beam of light that struck the awaiting Cody, and the resulting flash was so bright no one could see anything for a couple seconds, even with their goggles on. When the light dissipated, the group (save for Chris) blinked and gasped: Cody was gone. Where he once stood, only a thin wisp of smoke remained. "M...Mclean, he's disappeared! Where the hell is he?" Cody's father asked.

"Well, you hear that buzzing above us?" Chris asked. Cameron, Grandpa Joe, and Cody's father listened, and indeed they could hear a faint buzzing. "As we speak, millions and millions of molecules and atoms are flying around the room right now, incomprehensible to the human eye. That's where he is right now. Eventually, he'll be pieced back together and sent to the TV, so I guess we should wait until that happens."

"Will he be okay? Or at least normal?" Cameron asked as Chris slowly shook his head. "Cameron, no one ever goes back to normal once they've been on TV. It's a well known fact" was the reply. "Wait, you hear that? The buzzing stopped!" Grandpa Joe noticed. "Well then, let's make our way over to the TV and find Cody!" Chris said as he started walking over to the corner. He grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels rapidly. The group behind him watched in silence before Chris jumped. "Aha, there he is! Channel 47!" Cameron and Grandpa Joe crowded in to see what was on the screen. The picture was black, except for a very familiar person positioned right in the middle of the screen. "Cody! You get yourself out of there this instant!" Cody's father shouted, to which the boy appeared to protest, but Cameron and Grandpa Joe only heard a faint squeak come out of his mouth.

"Alright, dad, go ahead and reach in there and grab him! Shouldn't be too hard!" Chris said. Cody's dad hesitantly reached into the screen, grabbed Cody and pulled him out. Everyone except Chris gasped. Cody was now barely nine inches tall! He was still talking in an almost inaudible squeak, but Cameron could make out something about wanting to stay in the TV. Cody's dad frowned. "No, that does it, young man! No more TV for you until you turn 25! No more phone for you either!" More squeaking, this time significantly louder and angrier. "Chris, would you mind helping me out with this?"

"For sure, man. I can have a couple interns escort you to the Taffy Pulling Room. We'll have to stretch him out back to size. No worries!" A couple interns appeared at Chris' side. He told them the situation and they, along with Cody and his father, exited out the door. "Wow, at least someone has the decency to stand up to their kids!" Grandpa Joe exclaimed. Cameron's eyes grew wide. "Wait, I'm the only one left on the tour! What happens now?"

Chris chuckled. "Well, there's one more stop we need to make, and then I can send you on your way. Right this way-oh wait, the interns are singing again! Let's listen in." The melody started up as the interns lined up and began to sing.

Intern, wintern

For the last time

We are here to sing you some rhymes

Intern, wintern

Thanks for listening

Regardless of the joy we might bring

The Internet is fine, as it causes such glee

While the same can be said for our friend, the TV

But limit your intake to be a good pal

If you don't everyone you meet will have low morale

Too much is like a root canal

Intern, wintern

Don't be like Cody

If you are, people treat you like a flea

Live in happiness like the interns do

And you might learn something new!

Well, all the other kids are gone! Sorry about the delay again, but I'm pretty happy with this chapter. Please let me know what you think!

TUS