I stood in at the nurse's station, leaning against while I absent mindly flipped through Surgery Today magazine, reading about the early start of plastic surgery. Izzie Stevens and my half-sister Meredith Grey were to my left. Izzie was a tall woman with bright blonde hair and hazel eyes with a body type fit for a model. Meredith was a little shorter than her, about my height, with dirty blonde hair and steel grey eyes. Alex Karev and George O'Malley were on my right. Alex was about the same height as Izzie with short brown hair and hazel eyes with a small goatee. George was had brown hair with brown eyes that were warm and welcoming. The door to the conference room opened and the Chief of Surgery, Richard Webber, stepped out with Cristina Yang behind him. The chief was an older African American with grey hair and goatee and friendly warm brown eyes. Cristina was about a foot shorter than him of Asian decent and had dark, wavy raven black hair, and brown eyes. I looked up from my magazine as the chief walked over to us.

"I am happy to announce that the first solo surgery will take place tonight—a below-the-knee amputation, bone cancer." Dr. Webber informed us. "Mr. Collinsworth in 2212."

"No appy?" Meredith muttered under her breath.

"Saw action." Alex smirked, tipping his weight to his tiptoes. "Sweet."

"Choosing who gets the first solo surgery isn't just about who has the best surgical skills or who's logged the most hours in the OR." The chief continued. "It's about the highest form of trust—the trust to put a patient's life into one of our resident's hands. And for the first time that I can recall, every single attending picked the same person. Dr. Yang. However, Dr. Yang is out of the running. She is going to pick the winner instead. Dr. Yang will post her decision on the OR board at 4:00 PM. Also, since your interns are still banned from the OR, the winner will be allowed to pick a fellow resident to scrub in with them. Good luck." Cristina stuffed her hands into her pockets as she began to walk away with all of us chasing after her.

"I operated on a heart in an elevator." George gloated as he handed Cristina who took it from him without a word.

"Look, that was over a year ago." Alex sneered. "O'Malley's 007. Think how poor your decision would look if you gave it to him."

"At least he didn't freeze when it came to save the patient's life." I retorted under my breath, taking a sip from my caramel macchiato with five shots of espresso.

"I don't know why you guys are even bothering." Izzie said from behind us. "We all know who she's gonna pick." We all looked to Meredith.

"She's not gonna pick me because I'm her best friend." Meredith told us. "She's gonna pick me because I'm the best."

"Okay, stop." Cristina declared, turning around to face us so we would have to halt in order to not run her over. "Are you guys kidding me?" We stared at her, waiting for her to continue speaking. "Fine. I'll think about it. Just…go and do surgical things." We dispersed and I headed to the south wing where my interns were waiting for me at the nurse's station. My four interns were scattered about the desk. Louie was sitting in the chair behind it while Regina and Sadie were standing up, leaning against it. Lexie, my other half-sister, was pacing the floor.

"Cristina still hasn't talked to me, which is normal, except it's worse." Lexie breathed, handing me a chart. "Two weeks' suspension, and she hasn't even bothered to say one mean thing."

"Or maybe she just has more important things to do like medical things. Now I have a case that I really want to witness so I'm going to hand out assignments and do your best not to embarrass me." I muttered, signing the chart, and handing it off to Sadie.

"Karev called me a moron, which is good." Regina said, ignoring me.

"None of the resident even look at me." Sadie added and I glared at her, remembering that she was the one the interns operated on and took out her appendix.

"The least they could do is hate us." Lexie said. "Do you hate us?"

"I hate that my interns are bothering me with such petty drama and that they're not listening to a word I say." I answered her.

"I'm gonna get some sex." Louie announced and we all looked him, eyes wide. "Sex always makes me feel better."

"Don't look at me." Regina said hastily. Lexie, Sadie, and I quickly followed in agreement.

"Regina, Lexie, I need you down in the pit. Sadie and Louie can do charts." The two groaned in unison and I glared at them which caused them to quickly pick up their charts and scurry away. And I called after them, "Remember! No embarrassment!" Tapping my pen across my palm, I turned on heel and headed to the other side of the wing to where I assumed he would be at. He was at the nurse's station, filling out some charts. I composed myself, shaking the anxiety from my hands and wiping the stupid ass grin off my face. Clearing my throat, I walked up to him and he gave me a quick glance before looking back down at his chart. Dr. Mark Sloan was Head of Plastic Surgery and double board-certified otolaryngologist which is particularly why I was extra curious about the surgery he was going to perform today. I wasn't assigned to his service today, so I didn't know how hard it was going to be to get on this case. He had dusty short brown hair with a little greying going through it and a dashing goatee and his eyes were such a deep, clear blue, I was sure my heart stopped every time he looked at me.

He was notorious for sleeping with all the nurses but not one of them have ever mentioned that it was bad sex. Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to lose my virginity to someone so experience, older or not. "Hi." He gave a quick smile of greeting but said nothing else. "I get it. I know I'm the one with the reckless interns and I'm related to the one who organized a crazy cabal of secret cutter interns but that doesn't make me reckless or crazy or a cutter." I closed my eyes tightly and gritted my teeth as my heart hammered in my chest, my head becoming light as I tried my approach again. I opened my eyes and looked at him again. "The thing is, I've been advised to seek out sex as a way out of my predicament, but I think I would rather just learn today, so…" Mark slowly looked up from his chart at me, his eyes full of shock and confusion.

"What do you say? You, me—"

"Why are you talking about sex to me?" Mark questioned me quietly. "It's inappropriate. I'm your teacher. I have things to teach—double board-certified things." I straightened up, realizing how what I said must have sounded like.

"Crap. No, that was always—that's what I was talking about, for—for you to teach me medicine. I saw that you were performing a hypopharynx reconstruction and I read up on it and studied it and was fascinated by it and wanted to see it done. The—the sex was that—that was a joke." Before Mark could say anything else, Dr. Miranda Bailey's voice sounded as she came up behind us and to stopped on the other side of Mark.

"Dr. Sloan," Bailey greeted him. "Um, I heard that you're performing a hypopharynx reconstruction today."

"I'm gonna make a woman speak again." Mark informed her, turning to face her.

"Well, let's hope. I read up on the surgery—"

"You read up on my surgery?"

"Since it's your first time performing what I understand to be a very cutting-edge surgery, I was hoping you might need an extra set of hands." Mark thought about it for a second before nodding.

"Fine. You can join Dr. Wolfe and me." Bailey looked past Mark at me, her brown eyes like daggers.

"Dr. Wolfe?"

"Yes. Apparently, she's read up on the surgery as well. Everyone is just fascinated in me today."

GA

"Kathleen Patterson. A laryngectomy fiver years ago resulted in the loss of her ability to speak." I presented the case to Bailey and Mark. We stood in the patient's room at the foot of the bed while Kathleen had her laptop with sticky notes up and down the sides of it, fingers typing away. Her husband stood next to her, casting glances from us to his wife. "Kathleen's undergone several surgical attempts to restore her voice in the past five years, none have been successful."

"This time, though, this time, uh, we have a good feeling about this." Mr. Patterson tried to smile at us as he glanced back at his wife who was paying no attention to us. "Right, honey?" She didn't answer him. "Honey?" She pulled off a blue sticky note from her laptop and without even looking at him, held it up for him to read.

Yes. Mr. Patterson's smile faltered.

"As discussed, I'll get the blood supply from your arm and the cartilage…" Mark began to explain the procedure to Kathleen, but his voice trailed off as he realized that she was paying no attention to him. "From your…" Mark looked to the husband for support.

"Uh, Kathleen?" Mr. Patterson said but she just kept typing on her laptop. "Honey? Honey." Giving up on trying to get his wife to pay attention, he turned back to Mark. "You can talk to me." Accepting that, Mark faced him.

"I'll get the skin and the blood supply from her arm and the cartilage from her nose to construct a makeshift speaking tube, which will become her new voice box." I watched Mark as he spoke, admiring his confidence in the words that he spoke and the way that he presented himself.

"You should be aware there's a chance the procedure might not work." Bailey added and Mark threw a quick glare in her direction.

"He's clear on that."

"I'm just reminding him not to get his hopes up."

"Any other questions I can answer?" Kathleen continued to type in the background as Mr. Patterson turned to her.

"Kathleen?" He questioned her. "Honey?" She ripped off an orange sticky note with a word that was underlined three times.

No. I frowned as Mark finished explaining the procedure to Mr. Patterson before handing me the chart so I could have the paperwork filled out as Bailey and Mark left the room. I gently guided Mr. Patterson to the doorway so I could speak to him quietly without disturbing Kathleen.

"Mr. Patterson." I said softly. "I have some forms for your wide to fill out. Is now a good time or would you like me to come back later?" Mr. Patterson looked sadly over his shoulder at his wife.

"She's a blogger…" He said quietly. "About cancer and voicelessness. She's famous in certain internet circles."

"Well, it seems like you two have a pretty great system going here. You've learned to communicate." I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but he didn't buy it as he looked back at me, unamused.

"Oh, you mean the post its? You think that's a pretty great system?"

"I—it's—" I began to stumble over my words as I tried to come up with something to soothe his worries. "Convenient."

"Yes, no, hello, I love you…you read the words long enough, they begin to lose their meaning." I gave him a sad smile and informed him that I would give him some time and come back later.

GA

I stood behind Mark in his office with Bailey on the other side of him as he pulled up a 3D MRI scan of Kathleen's throat and began to explain in detail the procedure. I was soaking up every bit of information, fascinated and in complete awe by the surgery.

"And then we'll insert the newly constructed tube in between her trachea and esophagus just…like…that." I watched as the simulation morphed itself to show the vocal cord being placed between the supraglottis and the glottis to make up the new larynx. I bent down next to Mark to get a better view and out of the corner of my eye saw him tense up and press his forehead into the palm his left hand.

"So, this valve right here flips opens when she has air in the trachea—" I began to speak but Mark cut me off with a snap, the tone of his voice cutting through me like a knife.

"You're in my space. Back up. Just back the hell up." I immediately straightened and took a step back, looking down at the ground and wringing my hands together to stop them from shaking. I didn't dare breathe; I stood completely still; the only movement was my heart pounding against my ribcage. "Dr. Bailey, will you please find Dr. Wolfe something to do other than interfere?"

"Uh, Dr. Wolfe, finish prepping Mrs. Patterson for surgery." Bailey instructed to which I gave a nod of understanding, not trusting myself to speak, before walking out of the office. As soon as the office door closed behind me, I let out a loose breath of air, filling my aching lungs with fresh oxygen. Groaning, I shook my hands out in front me as they felt like I had too much caffeine and needed to release the energy somehow. Inhale, breathe steady, exhale. Normally, I could stop the anxiety attack before it actual happens. Sometimes it's a little hard but I've been getting better at it. Just think about puppies and kittens and rainbows and unicorns and don't think about how Mark Sloan just snapped at you. I inhaled deeply and cleared my throat, giving my body one last shake, dispelling, and pushing down the last of the anxiety as I approached Mrs. Patterson's room to finish prepping her for surgery.

GA

I stood in the front corner of the gallery looking down at the surgery as Mark prepared the larynx with Bailey hovering over his shoulder. He only needed one resident for the surgery and Bailey had seniority. I leaned against the cool glass, never taking my eyes off Mark's hands, crossing my arms over my chest. His movements and sutures were slow and precise, a type of gracefulness behind it. Lexie and Sadie sat behind me, observing the surgery as well.

"Aren't you going to deepithelialize here to connect it to the trachea?" I heard Bailey ask Mark over the intercom.

"There needs to be epithelial tissue to support the cell-to-cell attachments." I muttered, sighing heavily.

"You're a very eager student, Dr. Bailey." Mark muttered, finishing off the final suture. "Very thorough."

"Any way I can be of service." Mark looked up at the gallery and though it was high up, I thought I could have sworn that his eyes landed on me before he stood up and walked over to Mr. Patterson's sleeping body. "So, I suppose you'll use a strip test to confirm flow across the anastomosis?"

"Which could cause damage to the endothelium." I said under my breath, placing both hands on the glass and leaning forward as if I could get a better view.

"That can damage the endothelium." Mark confirmed my statement and I couldn't help the smile on my face.

"Oh, but don't you need to confirm—" Bailey began to protest but Mark cut her off like he did with me earlier.

"Dr. Bailey, would you rather do Mrs. Patterson's surgery yourself? I can leave."

"Dr. Sloan, I w—I wasn't questioning your surgical skills. I was just trying to learn…something exciting, something new. I mean, these residents are running around fighting tooth and nail for a chance to get to cut off a leg." I didn't care about an amputation surgery. This…this right here…this hypopharynx reconstruction… this was something that I wanted to see. You could find an amputation any day of the week. But this…this was rare. "And…look what you've done here. You've—you've made something where there was nothing, and it's thrilling. I—I was just trying to learn." Mark paused his work and looked down at her for a moment.

"Thank you, Dr. Bailey." He returned to his work. I raised an eyebrow and bit my lower lip as I silently went through the steps in my head and watched him perform each one.

"And now for the vocal flap to the internal jugular." I whispered to myself.

"Now would you take the flap veins and join them to the internal jugular, please?" I frowned wishing I could be the one doing that. That was an opportunity that I would fight tooth and nail to have. Bailey eagerly got into place and began the connections.

"Wow, you really know your stuff." Sadie laughed behind me.

"Well, instead of going around and taking out my fellow residents' appendixes, I was actually studying medicine and researching like this surgery because I actually look for opportunities to learn and don't wait for opportunities to come to me." I retorted. "And besides, Dr. Sloan took the time to teach my today."

"He likes you." I whirled around, blonde hair cascading around my shoulders as I stared at her wide eyed.

"Who? Dr. Sloan?" Sadie rolled her eyes.

"Oh, don't tell me you haven't noticed his eyes on your ass." I scoffed and turned back to the surgery, my smile from earlier growing bigger.

GA

"Now I know you're nervous, and it may feel a little strange at first, but just give it a shot." Mark spoke softly to Kathleen during the post-op exam. Her throat was bandaged with normal swelling and redness around the incision. Bailey and Mark stood to the right of the bed with me at the foot of it while Mr. Patterson sat on the armrest of the chair to the left of his wife. Kathleen eyed Mark suspiciously as if he might be lying to her. I could understand her hesitation. She's had several surgeries in the past to try to make her speak again but they had all failed. Her hopes were gone, and I would guarantee that the only reason she had agreed to this surgery was because of her husband. She shook her head and looked away from him.

"You haven't forgotten." Bailey encouraged her. "Come on. You can do it." Kathleen shook her head again. A slight expression of disappointment clouded Mark's facial features as he spent all this time and effort preparing for this surgery to get her to speak and she wasn't even going to attempt. Instead, she pulled her side table with her laptop on it and opened the lid to her laptop and began to type away. Outraged and frustrated, her husband stood abruptly up.

"No!" Mr. Patterson exclaimed, and the sudden outburst caused me to jump a little and instinctively take a step away from him even though I fully knew that his anger was not directed at me. "No! No more!" Kathleen stared at her husband, brown eyes wide as if she had never seen this side of him before. "No more typing! No more post-its! No! Talk to me. Talk to me, damn it! Talk to me!" Kathleen looked down into her laptop, her lips quivering as she fought the urge to cry. My heart broke for both, seeing both sides of their dilemma.

"Okay, maybe we should give her a little time." Bailey suggested and she left the room with Mark without another word. I turned to Mr. Patterson.

"Um, sir, maybe you should go, too." I offered quietly. "Just go for a walk or a drive. Just give her some space."

"I've given her five years of space." Mr. Patterson muttered before turning on his heel and leaving the room.

GA

I had my right hand stuffed into my lab coat, my left hand bringing my cup of coffee up to my lips for me to take a sip. As I was heading back to Kathleen's room, Meredith rounded the corner and began to walk next to me. I checked my watched and saw that it was a quarter after four. She didn't say anything as she stared blankly ahead. I sighed.

"I'm gonna assume that Cristina didn't choose you for the solo surgery." I said, taking another sip of coffee.

"Nope." Meredith breathed. "She chose Alex and Alex of course is choosing Izzie to scrub in with him."

"Well, that's good." Meredith turned her head to look at me for an explanation. "It's good that he's choosing Izzie because I mean, do you honestly want to work with Alex? He's an ass."

"I would like to be there to save his ass when he royally screws this up." I hummed my approval. "Where have you been all day? Everyone else was trying to get this solo surgery and you have been gone all day."

"I shouldn't have to chase Cristina around and convince her that I'm the one for the solo surgery. She should know who is the most qualified from our skills. We've worked together long enough for her to know. I mean, she did choose Alex—weird—but she must have her reasons. Besides, I got to witness a hypopharynx reconstruction. That's a surgery I would fight tooth and nail for." Meredith gave me a side glance, her grey eyes clouded with suspiciousness.

"What's going on with you and Mark Sloan?" I exhaled heavily and rolled my eyes, throwing my hands up in exasperation.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Because any chance you have, you're on his service."

"Because I'm really interested in plastics and he is head of plastic surgery so, yeah, kind have to be around him to learn." Meredith continued to stare at me, not bothering to look where she was walking, her eyes still hard as steel. I groaned. "Mer, he just got done making a woman a new voice box and if it takes, then she will be able to speak again! If that's not incredibly amazing, then I don't know what is."

"Just keep it professional, Mayzie." I rolled my eyes again.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize that you're my mother. If I look at my birth certificate will I see your name on it? Because I'm fairly sure it says Lydia Wolfe, not Meredith Grey."

"I mean it, Mayzie. He's a screw them and leave them kind of person and you don't need to be another notch in his belt. You deserve better than that." I stopped and turned to her and she faced me.

"Look, Meredith, I don't need you telling me who I can and can't sleep with. I can look out for myself. Now, if you don't mind, I have a patient—you know, the one with the new voice box—to go check on. Be sure to tell Alex that I said congratulations." I didn't wait for her response as I turned on my heel and headed back to Kathleen's room. I finished off the rest of my coffee and tossed it into the trash before heading back into her room to see her obviously typing away on her laptop. She didn't even acknowledge my presence as I walked in and over to her bedside and gingerly sat down on the edge. I reached out and slowly pushed the lid close on her laptop and she pulled her hands off the keyboard to avoid them being smashing, looking at me in astonishment. "It's okay. Nobody else is here. It's just me. I'm just a first-year resident. I'm practically still an intern. I'm nobody. So, you can try." She looked away from me, her face filling with despair. "And—and if it doesn't work, it's okay." Kathleen glanced back at me. "Just—just try." She licked her lips, looking down at her lap. Closing her eyes and inhaled deeply, she opened her mouth.

"H—" I never thought a single syllable could sound so lovely. I smiled at her, encouraging her to try again. "Hi." She gasped at the sound of her own voice and I laughed with enthusiasm. Her eyes flew open with surprise, my smile growing. "Hi." On the outside, I was keeping it together but, on the inside, I was freaking out. This was amazing. Incredible. Surreal. The surgery actually worked. "Hi." Kathleen laughed and I laughed with her. "Hi." Her eyes flicked past my shoulder and I turned to see Mr. Patterson standing in the doorway watching us. "Hi." His smile was heartbreaking, and he looked to be on the verge of tears at the sound of his wife's voice.

"Hi." He returned her greeting. I got up from the bed and stepped aside to let him sit down next to his wife. I stood in the threshold of the room and watched them for a moment, watched how they laughed together and hugged each other. Their happiness was infectious as I was smiling to myself all the way back to the resident lounge.

GA

"Thank you." I told the front desk associate. Taking the information that she gave me, I rounded the corner to the left of the front desk and pressed the call button for the elevator. My head swayed as it became lightheaded with adrenaline and my hands began to shake from anxiety. The elevator dinged and the doors opened, and I stepped in, turning to push the button for the fourth floor. Originally, I was just going to go home and tell Mark about Kathleen in the morning, but my entire body was singing with excitement from the fact that the surgery worked, and Kathleen was speaking. I wanted to share that excitement with someone and the only one who would understand was Mark. Ding…second floor…And he deserved to know that it worked. He deserved to know. …ding…third floor… The closer the elevator brought me to the fourth floor, the more my heart hammered in my chest. I bit my lower lip, pressing my right thumb into the palm of my left hand.

My chest was tight, and I felt like I couldn't breathe hard enough or fast enough to satisfy my lungs. Ding…fourth floor. The doors slid open and I stepped out onto the floor. Breathe…just breathe… I turned right and headed down my hallway. This was a mistake. I shouldn't be doing this. I had no idea was I was doing here. Room 413…As I slowly began to walk to the room, I really started to think about why I was here. Room 414… Telling him about the success of the surgery could have waited until morning so what was I really doing here? Room 415… What Meredith told me earlier rang through me. He's a screw them and leave them kind of person. You deserve better. The thing is, I didn't deserve better. Room 416… I knew that I didn't deserve better. Room 417… But I still wanted him and what Louie told me too.

Maybe sex would help me feel better, relieve some of this growing stress inside of me. I stopped in front of Room 418 and turned to the grey coloring door, lifting my right fist, and preparing myself to knock. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply and before I could allow my anxiety to talk me out of this terrible mistake, I let my fist fall against the wood three times. Each knock sounded like thunder, my pounding heart sounding even louder. It was several seconds before I heard the lock on the other side of the door click and my heart gave a final lurch before it went still as the door swung open. Mark stood in the threshold in a tight speckled grey t-shirt with black sweatpants that hung low on his hips. He stared at me, his blue eyes filled with confusion and shock, his lips parted slightly. Speak! My mind yelled at me as I stood there in silence. Nerve wracking anxiety pushed me to start speaking rapidly before I could chicken out. "You made her speak." I blurted out.

"Mrs. Patterson—she said hi. I mean, it's just hi but it was amazing. She spoke. She said hi. You—you made her speak." I paused as Mark stared me as if he weren't processing everything I was saying. Instead, he was more focused on why I was here at his hotel room. Without thinking, I walked past him to the middle of the room and turned around and faced him. I was going to allow myself to think. Not tonight.

Thinking would lead to overthinking and overthinking would lead to anxiety and anxiety would lead to cowardness. Mark slowly turned around, watching my every movement. "I respect you." He turned his head to look at the now empty doorway and then back at me as if he were still processing what was happening. "As a man, as a surgeon, as a teacher, I respect you. So… teach me." I dropped my bag to the floor along with my black leather jacket. Mark's head gave a little jolt as if someone had just slapped him and he realized what was happening.

"What are you doing?" Mark finally questioned me. "Don't do that. Stop." No thinking. Keep moving forward.

"Teach me." I kicked my shoes off and tossed them to the side, never taking my eyes off his. He scoffed as he turned to close the door before taking a couple steps towards me but keeping a safe distance away.

"Stop." No thinking. Keep moving forward.

"Teach me."

"We can't do this, Little Wolf, you're a virgin and—and—and I promised, and I'm your teacher." No thinking. Keep moving forward.

"So…teach me." I lifted my overshirt up and over my head and let it fall on top of my jacket, the cool air of the room hitting the scars on my back like a brick wall. Mark groaned as he half turned away from me, trying to cover his eyes with his hand as he tried to look anywhere but at me.

"Ah, Mayzie…" No thinking. Keep moving forward.

"Teach me." He placed both hands on his hips, looking down at the ground as I began to take my camisole off, so I was just standing before him in my sports bra and skinny jeans. As it fell to the ground, he raised his head, eyes skimming over me as he lips parted. Something predatory and lustful flashed through his crystal eyes as he looked me over. My chest tightened as I suddenly became insecure about my body and the scars as he didn't say anything. "Come on. Am I really that bad?" He locked eyes with me, and it took my breath away that way he looked at me.

"No. I am." I saw something break in his eyes, a tether on the resistant he had, as he closed the space between us and grabbed my face in his calloused hands, strong and sturdy, and pressed his lips against mine. I inhaled deeply at the touch as the warmth from his lips passed through me entire body, resting with the growing heat pooling between my legs. His hands moved from my face, running them down my arms and sides, my skin feeling electrified with every passing touch. His fingers hooked in the belt loops of my pants and pulled me tight against me and a hot flash flooded my body as I felt his erection through his sweatpants. I reached for the hem of his shirt and started to pull it up to which we parted lips for a split second so he could pull it off his head but once it was off, our lips were molded together again before the shirt could even touch the floor. His lips moved off my lips to kiss my cheek and feather kisses along my jawline. His lips were smooth against my skin, his breath warm and my knees almost buckled as heat pounded in my core between my legs. He brought his lips to my ear, tugging gently at my earlobe between his teeth as I placed my hands on his sides to steady myself, feeling the muscles ripple beneath my fingertips.

"Just relax. You won't enjoy it if you don't relax. I'll be gentle with you." I shuddered as I closed my eyes. Every inch of my body went taut as his words echoed through me. "I'm going to have you moaning my name throughout it all and I'm going to take a very, very long time doing so, Mazikeen." He said my name like a caress, and his hot breath tickled my ear causing my back to arch slightly. Mark brought his lips back down to the tender spot where my jawline curved into my neck and my whole world narrowed to the feeling of his lips against my skin. The push of his body caused me to back up until the back of my legs hit the edge of the bed and I fell back with a gasp. He fell on top of me, keeping his weight on his forearms so he wouldn't crush me.

His body was hard and soft, and it made me see lightning as I grinded my hips against his. He continued feathering my jaw and neck with kisses. Intently. Territorially. Lazily. Heat pounded between my legs and he grinded his body against me, against every aching spot causing a moan to slip past my lips. I reached between us to undo his sweatpants to which he stood up to slide them off and I took the opportunity to rid myself of my jeans as well. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me into his lap, holding me tight against him as his lips parted mine. I pushed Mark back onto the bed, straddling him. His hands rested on my hips and their heat singed me through my underwear.

My hair fell around our faces like a curtain. I couldn't kiss him fast enough, hard enough to express the rushing need within me. He growled softly and deftly flipped us over, spreading me beneath him as he wrenched his lips from my mouth and made a new trail of kisses down my neck. My entire world constricted to the touch of his lips on my skin. My back arched against him as I dragged my hands through his hair, savoring the silken smoothness of it. He traced the arc of my hipbones, lingering at the edge of my underwear. I hooked my bare legs around his, running my feet down the hard muscles of his calves. He breathed my name onto my chest, one of his hands exploring the plane of my torso, rising to the slope of my breast. I trembled, anticipating the feel of his hand there, and his mouth found mine again as his fingers stopped just below. His kissing was slower this time, gentle.

The fingertips of his other hand slipped beneath the waist of my underwear and I sucked in a breath. He hesitated at the sound, pulling back slightly but I bit his lip in a silent command that had him growling into my mouth. He pulled down my underwear and I quickly kicked them off before wrapping my legs back around him. His kiss deepened as his fingers slid between my legs, coaxing and teasing. I grinded against his hand, yielding completely to the writhing wildness that had roared alive inside of me and breathed his name onto his skin. He paused again and started to retract his fingers, but I grabbed him and pulled him farther on top of me. I wanted him now. I wanted this. I wanted him.

"Don't stop." I gasped.

"I—" he said thickly, resting his brow between my breasts as he shuddered. "If we keep going, I won't be able to stop at all." I sat up and he watched me, hardly breathing but I kept my eyes on his, my own breathing becoming steady as I took off my bra and tossed it to the floor. Utterly naked before him, I watched his gaze travel to my bare breasts, peaked against the chill night, to my abdomen, to between my thighs. A ravenous, unyielding sort of hunger passed over his face. I bent a leg and slid it to the side, a silent invitation. He let out a low groan and slowly with predatory intent, raised his gaze to mine again.

"I want this. I want you." I breathed. And like a dog that was just let off its leash, he lunged. He gripped my thighs and yanked me to the edge of the bed and hooked my legs over his shoulders. The first lick of Mark's tongue set me on fire. He growled his approval at my moan, my taste, and unleashed himself on me entirely. A hand pinning my hips to the bed, he worked me in great sweeping strokes and when his tongue slid inside me, I reached up to grip the edge of the bed, to grip the edge that I was very near to falling off. He licked and kissed his way to the apex of my thighs, just as his fingers replaced where his mouth had been, pumping inside me as he sucked, his teeth scraping ever so slightly. I bowed off the bed as my climax shattered through me, splintering my consciousness into a million pieces.

He kept licking me, fingers still moving. "Mark." He remained kneeling, feasting on me with that hand the continued to pin me to the bed. I went over the edge again and Mark only rose from the floor when I was trembling and limp with pleasure. He looked me over and gave me a slow, satisfied smile. I watched as he pulled off his boxer briefs and the considerable length of him sprang free. My mouth went dry at the sight of it. I wanted every glorious inch of him inside me. His mouth found mine, the kiss open and deep as he scooted me up to the pillows and I locked my legs around him. He nudge my entrance and paused.

"It's okay. I trust you." He slid in and in and in. I could hardly breathe as he broke through my hymen and I let out a whimper of pain. He stilled inside me and let me adjust to him and when I opened my eyes, I found him staring down at me. Mark pulled out slightly and thrust back in slow, the stinging pain being replaced by something more divine. Again, he pulled out and then thrusted back in. Each time going faster and deeper until I felt nothing but sheer pleasure. With each pounding stroke, I felt that white hot burn inside me grow stronger and stronger until I thought I might explode. I moved my hips in time with his.

He kissed me over and over, and both of our faces turned damp. Every inch of me burned and tightened, and my control slipped entirely as he whispered my name. Release tore through my body and he pounded into me, hard and fast, drawing out my pleasure until the point where I thought I was going to pass out in ecstasy. I was moaning his name when gave one more powerful slow thrust that had me splintering around him once more and he went with me. I fell asleep in his arms and when I awoke a few hours later, we went round two. Once we were both spent, panting and sweat-slicked, we laid side by side with me on my stomach resting my cheek on the back of my hands and him on his back, hands tucked behind his head. We ended up talking for hours and laughing and I had never felt so relaxed. I couldn't remember the last time I had a real laugh. Of course, talking lead to more sex which after the third round, I was out for the night. When I woke up, he was gone, and I could have sworn that I had dreamt if I weren't still in the hotel room.