'Well you look so much better than you did last time I saw you.' A voice calls, as they approach the nursery. 'Sorry dad said I could come in.'

'It's nice to see you.' She smiles, 'how are you?'

'I'm good, I'm still not quite over the fact that I have a little sister yet.'

'You and me both, complete surprise.'

'She's cute. Looks like you.'

'I can see some of Peter, too.' She grins, as he approaches the basket. 'You can hold her, mind her head.' She frets, 'sorry, sorry, it's an automatic reflex.'

'It's fine, you are adorable, aren't you?' The baby makes an indignant noise, letting her brother know she wasn't very happy about being moved, before closing her eyes again. 'I don't think she's very happy.'
'She'll be fine.' Carla promises, 'we've been prodding and poking her, I have this resounding fear she's going to stop breathing. It's really silly, but after last time, I just worry.'

'Last time?' she bites her lip; suddenly realising Simon was one of the few people that didn't know she'd been pregnant.

'I had a miscarriage.' She admits, 'it was just after Tina died.'

'Really?'

'Yeah.' She breathes, 'but I've got her now, but the worry is there.' He doesn't know what to say, he wasn't expecting that. 'It was when your dad was drinking again.'

'Oh, Carla, that's awful. I don't know what to say.'

'You can't say anything.'

'I was horrible, and I blamed you.'

'It's all water under the bridge.' She reassures him, 'it's not like you knew.'

'Did anyone know?'

'Almost everyone, it was accidentally revealed at Tracy and Robs party, I miscarried a few days later, from stress.'

'I'm sorry.' She just takes a breath, willing herself not to cry. Her emotions have been up and down all week, it's been hard. She's never felt anything like it, she couldn't describe it, but she felt like the miscarriage made a huge difference to the way she was, wanting to protect her at all costs. That's probably why she'd managed to avoid any visitors so far, claiming she was too tired. It was more like she was too worried.

'No, it's fine. I think it's made me hyperaware of everything. That's why I haven't really left the flat since I got back, I have gone through every scenario, I know it's stupid, but it's there. It's different because you're her brother, I know you'll come to love and protect her.'

'I already do.' He promises, 'I already love her so much. I'm always here to babysit.'

'One day I'll take you up on that and you'll regret it.' She teases, running her hand through her hair.

'I've looked after Ollie before; it can't be that much harder. Plus, we have a bond.'

'Oh, eye?'

'She's my biological sibling and no one can ever take that away from me. When mum made that comment about having no one, it hurt, because she has been my mum and Ollie was my brother.'

'Was?'

'You know what I mean.' She doesn't, but nods anyway. 'She is my little sister, the one person in the world who I can say that about.' He tells her, 'she's just so small.'

'She really is.'

'Will you take a picture of me and her? My phone is in my jacket.' She nods, going to find the phone and taking a few pictures of them, quite frankly, do it's adorable.

'Send your dad that, he'll love that.'

'You think?'

'I know.'

'Where's he gone?'

'The post office, I think. We had a delivery and he has to go and collect it. As you can tell, this isn't finished. It's amazing what you can do in a few days though.' She smiles, 'do you want to sit down with her, we can go into the living room, I want a brew anyway. I know she can start to get heavy after a while.'

'That'd be great.'

-CS-

'Do I have to-do this?' She whispers, looking at herself in the mirror, the family are coming over in half an hour and she isn't looking forward to it. They are all excited but it's a big step, they're full of germs and they're all going to paw over her, with her being so little, she's not sure can cope with this.

'They're excited.'

'I'm not. I'm tired, my boobs hurt, my nipples are chapped and I'm still cramping from the birth.' She tells him, watching him wince.

'Is there nothing you can do?' He questions, watching her feed the source of all these "problems" 'surely there is something you can do?'

'Do you not think I'm doing that?' She snaps, giving him a death stare, before welling up. 'Sorry, I'm really stressed. I'm going to have to socialise and hand my baby over.'

'Chelle and Si are over here quite a bit.'

'I know it's silly Peter, but she's my best friend and he's her brother. It's people like Johnny and Tracy. They're loud and I just don't know.' She tells him tearfully.

'Hey, don't cry. Remember, once this is over, it will be over.' He knows how much she wants to cancel, but he won't let it. He knows she needs this, more of a confidence thing than anything else.

'Peter, I can't do this. They're all going to judge me. Something is going to be wrong; I know they already think I'm cuckoo from my breakdown and suddenly I have a baby and not realise I'm pregnant, there is something wrong with me.'

'You know that it wasn't your fault, it was her placenta being in a certain position. You know this love. And the breakdown, well you're recovering. Especially as we now know it wasn't your fault, it was Gary's. He sabotaged the roof and then he was cruel.'

'I know.' She whispers, 'but I just can't bare it. I'm still partly responsible.'

'We can't dwell on it. You have to just come to terms with it.'

'Peter, she was my sister's fiancée, it's always going to be there.' She cries, as the baby stops feeding. 'You wind her, I'm going to get changed.' She huffs, knowing he doesn't understand, and he never could. Not really, yes it wasn't her fault, but it changed her. She won't ever be the same and people won't be able to look at her the same way.

A knock at the door breaks the tense silence that had fallen upon them as they sat their awkwardly, Carla reeling from his comments and his, seemingly, indifference towards her predicament.

'Johnny, hi.'

'Hi Peter, where is she? My granddaughter.'

'Over here.' Carla calls, her voice breaking as she continues to stroke the baby's cheek, reassuring herself more than the sleeping infant. 'She's asleep.'

'Oh, congratulations darling. I've got some flowers; Peter will put them in a vase.'

'Thank you.' She whispers, looking back down to the baby. 'Do you want anything to drink? Peter will make you something.'

'Kate's talking about coming back.'

'What? Why?'

'She wants to see her little niece, if she'd known you were pregnant, she'd have come back, she wants to see her.'

'I'd have liked to know.' She mumbles as Jenny plonks down next to her partner. 'Tell her I can call her; she shouldn't come back because of this.'

'How did you not know?' She takes a deep breath; she knows she's going to be asked this time and time again. She can't help it, but no one believes her that she didn't know. She didn't, she wished she'd had, and all these questions just remind her of this. A reminder of her failings as a mum already and the baby wasn't even two weeks old, she'd fallen at the first hurdle.

'It was something to-do with the placenta' she replies, 'so she didn't show.'

'Well all's well that ends well. She's okay, isn't she?'

'So far.'

'Does she have a name?'

'No. Most people have months to think about this, we haven't got around to it yet.' She tries to say it without sounding stroppy or annoyed, she is. This is, yet, another questions she's being asked that reminds her what she's done wrong. Maybe once they've chosen it, it will feel more real. She wants her to have a name, its like she's been in a trance, with her head all fuzzy whilst she's adjusting to be someone's mother.

'It hasn't sunk in yet, has it love?' He watches as she shakes her head, as he places the tray of hot drinks down. 'Well a name will come.' Peter tries diplomatically, 'she will have a name.'

'I certainly wasn't expecting Peter to tell us that when he came around, I didn't believe him.'

'I didn't quite believe it myself, I laughed when Carla said it.'

'I wasn't laughing' she mumbled, as the doorbell rings again. 'Do you want to get it?'

'Can I 'ave a cuddle?'

'If you want, mind her head, though.'

'I have done this twice before.' He tries, before realising what he's just said, she ignores his slip of the tongue because the fact of the matter is, he left her to be neglected. He wasn't there for her when she needed him. Throwing money at her, not even that much, wasn't her idea of being parenting. Over the last few days, she'd found a new respect for her mum. It didn't make a difference, but she went through a lot when she had her. It didn't make it better, but it made her wonder how she would have done the early days on her own. Then she added another baby into the mix.

Either way, it won't change her mum, but it makes her resent her dad just a little bit more.

'Congratulations Carla.' A familiar voice calls, as she turns around and smiles, as if she was making more of an effort with Peters family than her own dad.

'I hope you didn't mind, but we brought Bertie. Peter said it was okay.'

'It's fine by me, now how are you Mr?' She asks, as the child comes towards her, as she gingerly picks him up, as the Barlow clan plough in. He's much heavier than she remembers. She knows she's weaker and that's why, either way she wants a cuddle with her nephew. Not that she could ever admit it, but he was her favourite.

'Good.' He laughs, coming nearer her.

'We talked about this, didn't we Bertie. About the baby.'

'Baby.' He grins, 'baby.'

'Yes, Carla's had a baby. Your cousin.' He grins, he's at the age where he's starting to understand it, understand things.

'Would you like a cuddle?' She asks him, as he looks at her apprehensively. 'If you sit with your daddy, he'll help you.' Carla knows that Johnny will be upset that he has to give her up, but he can't resent a two-year-old child. She knows he'll be in safe hands; Daniel is far too cautious to let anything happen to her.

It takes a while but soon the baby is resting in "Berties" arms, Ken taking lots of pictures of the pair, before getting Amy, Simon and Adam to join, citing he wanted a picture of all of them. Five of his seven grandchildren in one picture.

'So, how are you feeling?' Ken asks, 'have you recovered from the shock?'

'Not quite, thank you everyone for helping with the nursery. We really appreciate it.'

'No problem let us know when the crib comes. We're all happy to help, that's what families do.' Daniel tells her. She has a soft spot for him, as a friend and she needs all the friends she can get, especially when Michelle is doing a disappearing act soon.

'I think when we have a name, it will feel more real.' Peter tells them, not realising how much comments like that are winding his partner up. It's not because she doesn't want to name her, it's because it highlights how unprepared she was for this. Not that there were any signs.

'Any ideas?'

'No, we will do. I don't want to just call her something and it not suit her.' She tells them, 'she has to live with that for the rest of her life.' She muses, as the baby is passed to Tracy, resisting the urge to tell her to mind her head. She doesn't need too, but it's automatic, every time someone other than her picks up the baby she worries, so much could happen too her. She'd googled it, trying to appease her mind, but instead she made it worse.

They have a nice afternoon, Roy joining them shortly after, as Carla deemed him as family, offering his sincerest congratulations, as the baby was placed into an apprehensive Roy's hands. He's followed by Michelle and Ryan, she tries not to get overwhelmed, but she does find her heart racing.

Truth be told, Carla hoped Roy would end up being a surrogate grandparent to her daughter, she trusted him more than Johnny, he was a good person. Her dad wasn't Roy hadn't hurt her like Johnny had done. Something she wondered if she'd ever be able to get over, now she had a little baby, a daughter, and she knew what it felt night. She had invited Roy before all that rabble, but he, sadly, had to work, promising her he'd come as soon as he could.

She was grateful that Roy didn't ask about her name, each question, unbeknownst to them ripped her in two because she didn't know about the baby. The fact she'd failed on such a catastrophic scale, it was a sign she wasn't prepared. Maybe if she'd been more vigilant, considered the possibility, she'd have known, could have been prepared. All she knew is that she had to find a name for the baby, sooner rather than later.

'Now, I just thought we should make a toast.' Ken announces, 'Peter will you pass everyone a prosecco, just to toast the baby.' The drinks, and three sparkling apple juices, are passed around as Ken clears his throat.

'This year, it's been hard' he starts, 'we've all been apart, and it's been tough. We're not there yet, but hopefully we will be soon. This baby, it's a sign, a blessing. A piece of happiness throughout this tough year.' No one contradicts him, it has been a very tough year. 'Now she might be a surprise, but she's a welcome one. To baby Barlow?' He asks tentatively, as the pair nod.

'Baby Barlow.' Carla confirms, she wasn't going to be a Connor, nor a Barlow-Connor.

'To baby Barlow and it's good health and happiness.'

'To baby Barlow.'

A/N thoughts ? The next chapter is the awaited chapter of where Peter and Carla decide on a name for the baby.