'Do you have to go?' The woman asks, looking down at the floor. 'I need you.'

'Carla, you know I can't stay.' She whispers, as the woman wipes the tears from her eyes, trying not to smudge her makeup. 'I'm sorry, you know I am.'

'It's fine.'

'You are doing an amazing job, you really are.' She shakes her head, biting her lip, as she looks down at the sleeping infant next to her. She knows she's not; Michelle is being kind because she worries about her. It's nothing more than her best friend trying to be kind. 'Hey, I know you and what you're thinking. I promise you are, but you need to let people in.'

'Mm okay.' She whispers, trying to convince the pair of them.

'No, Carla. You aren't, you need to speak to someone. Peter is worried.'

'What you spoke to him? You had no right too.'

'Calm down, he's worried.'

'You can go now.'

'Carla don't be like that.'

'No, if you're going to speak to my boyfriend behind my back, you can go.'

'Carla.' She warns, she's worried, but she really doesn't have a choice when it comes to leaving. She has commitments and she just can't be in Weatherfield.

On the flip side, she's not sure if she can leave her best friend. As she tries to say goodbye, she looks like a child herself, vulnerable and alone. But she isn't, she just needs to take a step back and see that.

'No, Chelle, go. You have a plane to catch.' She mocks.

'Carla, don't be like that.'

'Go.' She tells her, 'please, just go.'

-CS-

'You know we have the baby clinic this week, the red book is in the nursery.' Peter reminds her, looking at the calendar. All the festivities were over, and they were, trying, to settle into a new routine, a new way of life. That started with the baby going to the health clinic. 'Oh, and we're registering her this week.'

'What day?'

'Friday, is that okay with you?'

'Not really but I don't think I have a choice.' She yawns, 'sorry, didn't get much sleep last night. She wouldn't settle and then I started leaking.'

'You could speak to the doctor about that?' He tries, unhelpfully.

'Are you being serious? No.'

'That's what they're there for. They're here to help, not judge you.'

'I've got to go.'

'Where?'

'I said I'd take her to the factory; Sarah's been blowing up my phone and she's a month. I've got to take her outside on my own at some point.' She tells him, making it obvious that he isn't wanted there, that this was something she had to-do it on her own.

Over the last few days, she'd been getting rattier and rattier with him, the snide remarks, the blatant rudeness. He put it down to hormones and missing Michelle, but it was hurting his feelings. He knew he was being oversensitive, but it was his baby too and he felt like she'd alienated him from her. Almost like he didn't trust her with their daughter. Not just her daughter, she was their daughter.

Peter was sure it wasn't deliberate, but it still hurt. He was trying his best, even if it hadn't properly sunk in yet. He thought it should have, but it hadn't and that worried him. Was he doing something wrong? Is that why Carla didn't let him do as much as he wanted to-do? For Beatrice and her. He adored them both, but he felt side-lined. She wouldn't let him do anything for her and he knew it wasn't healthy.

'Have fun.'

'Will do.'

'Love you.' He tries, as she turns around and blows him a kiss.

'Love you too.' His heart sped up, it was little comments like this that made him feel better, that she did still love him.

-CS-

'Oh, hello lovely.' Sarah grins, 'aren't you beautiful. Beatrice, isn't it? What a lovely name. Who chose it?'

'Me. Peter wanted Gemma, but I said there was already a Gemma on the street.' Sarah grins, knowing what Carla was implying.

'She looks like a Beatrice. I was going to call our Bethany Britney.'

'Britney, in as in Britney Spears?'

'The same one. Remember, I was 13 and, at the time, she was huge star. I mean she's still big.'

'Wow, 13. How'd you do it. She was the one with the free Britney campaign, isn't she?' Sarah just nods, smiling at the baby.

'Honestly don't know. When we get inside, can I please have a cuddle?'

'If you want.'

'How old is she?' She asks excitedly, as the pair go and sit down.

'Five weeks exactly.' Carla informs Sarah, 'it's gone too quickly.'

'I bet it has, it's all a blur. Both of mine were a surprise, I had a few months with Bethany, but I can't imagine not knowing.'

'It was certainly something else.' She muses, as Beth comes up, flanked by other worker, a situation not too dissimilar to one of a school playground. 'Can I help you Beth?'

'I just wanted to see the baby; I didn't believe it.'

'Well you better.'

'She looks like you, Mrs C.' Sean inputs, sitting next to Sarah. 'I remember when my Dylan was this small. A whole little life that you have to look after. It's scary.'

'No pressure then.' Carla grins, trying to act like she's coping, like it's all okay, trying to stay calm on the outside, like she's in control. They've seen her at her weakest before, which she can't seem to forget. People look at her differently because she's had a breakdown, she's not okay. That's why this has all got to be perfect, Beatrice was her rainbow after the storm. Everything had to be perfect.

It's not, she feels like she's drowning. She can't help it; she knows she needs to tell someone, but she can't. Michelle knows something is wrong, but Carla is sulking. If she admitted the truth it would make her look weak, or weaker than she was already perceived to be. She'd get those looks from Peter, always asking if she was okay. A question she couldn't answer at the moment. It was taking all her strength not to cry, another thing she blames on hormones.

She's sure she's not depressed, more she's tired and hormonal. That and she's still in shock.

She thought it would have gone away by now, but she wakes up in the middle of the night and she still has to look next to her to see if her baby was real. She has nightmares that she never happened, or worse still, that she died. She was terrified of that, that if she let her out of her sight, she'd die. She knew she was overreacting, but it didn't help.

She thinks it stems from the miscarriage, but still she worries.

'You still look amazing, Mrs C.'

'Thanks, Kirky.'

'Will you be coming back?'

'Back?'

'To the factory.' She pauses, it wasn't even something she'd thought about. Although, it seemed like the natural progression, she'd come back, as long as she was needed.

'I'm not sure, Sean. Truth be told, I haven't even thought about it. Beatrice, she's a surprise. The factory is the last thing on my mind.' That's a lie, she longs to go back to the factory, but she knows she can't. She has her baby to look after her, she needs to be with her, in case something happens. She still quite can't believe she's real and she thinks that's why she can't leave her.

'I can imagine. For those first few weeks, you're in that baby bubble. Getting used to a lack of sleep and everything else that come from that.' She nods, finally understanding what lack of sleep actually means. 'You'll get used to it.'

'Most people have nine months to get used to it.' Another voice joins in, 'it was hard enough with Jake.' None of them feel the need to mention what happened with Tina, because the end result was the same. She was six feet under. 'But when he came home, it hit us like a ton of bricks.'

'Hmm, she was a surprise. That's for sure. I'm still trying to get to grips with it. Obviously, Peter had Simon but neither of us has properly done the whole baby stage thing. Besides the few weeks Peter believed Suzie was his, so he isn't totally clueless.'

'That was awful.' Sean agrees. 'How is Suzie?'

'Johnny said she's good, we haven't been out there. You know, given the whole love lost between Stella and me. Apparently, though, she looks like Aidan, which is a comfort for Johnny.'

'Can I have a cuddle now Sarah? Don't steal the baby.' Sean demands, taking her from Sarah. It happens so quickly, Carla doesn't have time to tell him to watch her head, because she's already tucked into his arms. She needs to get over this panic, this fear. She can't talk to Peter because he'll think she's losing her mind. 'I'm hoping, when mummy comes to work, she'll be bringing you.' He grins.

'You'd never get any work done.' Sarah teases. 'But Carla, she is lovely. Well done.'

'Eh thanks?' It's not like she's done anything to her, but thanks seems like an adequate response. Not that anyone heard, they're too engrossed in the baby currently residing in Sean's arms.

-CS-

'How is the baby?' Ken asks, letting his son into the house. 'And Carla? I know she wasn't feeling that great over Christmas.'

'Yeah, I think she's okay. She doesn't really talk to me. She's left the flat with the baby for the first time today, which is good.' He tries, not sure what to tell his dad. All this animosity between them, it's making him feel crap. Like he's useless and he's struggling with it. He needs to feel needed, to feel like she's letting him in.

'Oh?'

'I don't know dad, it's like she doesn't trust me. Or anyone really. It's really hard because I just want to help. She's my baby and, obviously, I can't do very much, but I want to.'

'Have you told her this?'

'No, she'd bite my head off. I just don't know what to say.'

'Tell me if you think I'm out of place, but do you think she's depressed?'

'No' he shakes his head, 'this isn't me burying my head in the sand, like last time. I've done my research and I don't think she is, she's just protective.'

'Oh?'

'I was reading something about having a baby after miscarriage and this does happen. I just don't know what to say. She won't let me in, and I can't force her too. Michelle is gone and she's not really talking to her family.'

'Could you not speak to someone? Scott maybe? The mental health Doctor, is that what he was? Why isn't she speaking to them?'

'She'd kill me if I went behind her back. I just need her to start trusting me.' He whispers, 'I've been to so many meetings because it is hard, drinking, it makes me feel better. It would make everything better, but I know I can't. Not now we have a baby, but I just want to be trusted.'

'Peter, I don't know what to say. Keep going to those meetings, I'm here if you need me.'

'Thanks dad.'

'So, she doesn't speak to her family?'

'I don't know, I think she's finding that she's resenting Johnny, for not looking after her when she was a kid. Not protecting her.'

'Do you feel like that? About me, I mean?'

'No, they were different things dad. Carla, she was neglected. Susan and I, it was just different. I think, because she's her mother, she feels it more. I googled that and it is normal. Well as much as it can be. I don't know, it's tough for her.'

'She'll get used to it.' Ken promises, 'you'll both get used to this new way of life, but if I've learnt anything, you need to talk to her. Promise me you will, she's vulnerable at the moment and I know how much you love her. You just need to get through to her, so she knows that you're there.'

'I love you dad.'

'I love you too, son.'

-CS-

'I just don't know what to-do?' The woman mutters, rubbing the back of the infant in her arms. 'Why are you crying?' She knows she won't get a response out of it, frustrating her. She needs someone to tell her what to-do, to tell her what she's doing wrong.

She just needs someone.

'Shh, shh.' She whispers, 'please be quiet.' She crying now, silent tears cascading down her cheeks. She's alone and Peter is out. 'Please, please stop this.'

The baby doesn't stop, as she rubs her back.

'You'll hurt yourself with this crying.' She whispers, placing the baby back in the basket. 'You've been fed, changed. You can't possibly want anything else.' The tone of her voice isn't one filled with malice, or resentment, it's more worry. She is worried. She's worried she'll cry herself to death, but she can't keep holding her because her arms are weak, and she'll drop her. 'Please Beatrice, please calm down.'

She sits there, watching as her daughter continues to cry, deciding to pick her up again, needing her baby in her arms. 'It's okay.' She whispers, as the cries seem to subside, quietening down.

'Carla, are you in?' A voice calls, the door closing a little too loudly, as the baby starts to cry, again.

'Really Peter.' She snaps, 'I'd just got her to sleep and you had to wake her up.'

'I'm sorry.' She just shakes her head, turning away from him, pacing up and down the small flat. 'Carla, I didn't mean to. I didn't think she'd be asleep.' It was an innocent mistake, but suddenly the room has become a lot colder, even though the heating was on at full blast. 'I'm sorry.'

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