TRUE LOVE, SWEET LIES / KISSED BY THE BADDEST BIDDER

PARALLELS – PAST AND PRESENT

Chapter One – The Assignment

Disclaimer

True Love, Sweet Lies and its awesome characters that appear in the otome game Love 365 are the property of Voltage, Inc.

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder and its awesome characters that appear in the otome game Love 365 are the property of Voltage, Inc.

All the wonderful characters for Sekai-Ichi Hatsukoi and Junjou Romantica are owned by their wonderful author Shungiku Nakamura. In the series (whether it be manga, anime, light novel, or drama CD), Ritsu's Dad is unnamed, and little is known about him, and so I gave him a name for the purposes of this fic – Akifumi Onodera.

The original characters Andrew James (AJ) Ishino, Tsuuri Troy, Michael Ishino, and Alexandra Emrys and any other original characters appearing in this fic are properties of PJ Zatken.

Author's Notes

For those who are familiar with otome games, Love 365, True Love, Sweet Lies, and Kissed by the Baddest Bidder, the female main character (MC) is part of the series' original characters. So how do the original characters (OCs) in my story figure out in this universe and fanfic?

The MC is the love interest of one of the playable characters in True Love, Sweet Lies.

My OCs – well, in the Love 365 / Voltage Inc. / otome romance world - are equivalent to temporary or minor characters in the otome universe. For short, they never get the man (the Voltage character with his own story / readers' choice route) no matter what the circumstances may be. This is fanfiction, so the word NEVER doesn't apply...but let's just wait and see - shall we?

I have seen how many folks are avid fans of True Love, Sweet Lies and Kissed by the Baddest Bidder although I do not know as to how many of them are also avid authors and/or readers in fanfiction dot net.

Background for this Fanfiction

This True Love, Sweet Lies fanfiction serves as a companion piece to my Junjou Romantica / Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi crossover fanfic Are Happy Endings Always THIS Elusive. The goal of this fic is to fill the little holes that would be there because the antagonist(s) and the problems he/she/they bring to our beloved JR / SH characters are complex.

Secondly, the people who are there to help our beloved JR / SH characters through this time have complex lives and equally complex connections.

I figured that the best way to show how intricate these relationships and connections are is through "companion piece" fanfics. First is so the focus for Are Happy Endings Always THIS Elusive would remain mostly with our JR / SH characters. Second, having "companion pieces" would give readers and "inside glimpse" of what was really happening behind the scenes so that there would not be any confusion when a character or characters from True Love, Sweet Lies are mentioned or would make a cameo in Are Happy Endings Always THIS Elusive.

As a result, my Disclaimer and Author's Notes on every chapter for Are Happy Endings Always THIS Elusive and each "companion piece" would properly mention and give credit to the fandoms and characters that appear in it.

These "companion piece" fanfics are experiments. I will do my best to do justice to the fandoms that I do, just as I have always done all these years. Come and enjoy this ride with me, and let me know what you think!

Best regards,

PJ Zatken

TIMELINE: MORE THAN 12 HOURS BEFORE PRESENT

Location: Private Jet

Final Destination: Japan

Preliminary Destination: Phuket Island, Thailand

Alexandra Emrys' Point of View (POV)

I watch my laptop screen as my video conference call rings, waiting for the other line to pick up.

Finally, I hear a voice followed by the screen flickering to show a familiar person once the other line picks up – the one who I intend to reach. "Em…?"

I cannot help but chuckle. "Yes, it's me, Non-tan."

Non-tan… Full name Fuse Nozomu… Formerly from the National Police Agency and eventually Interpol, he is now the chief of Fuse Investigations.

"Hi, Em…."

I recognize that other voice, and so I greet, "Hi, Naomasa! Are you keeping Non-tan in line?"

"Teach him how to organize his paperwork and meet his deadlines once you get here," is Naomasa's deadpanned reply. "He has to be in constant surveillance all the time."

Nozomu glances sideways, pouting while Naomasa appears beside him via video phone. "You two are mean…"

Ah, that pout of his… At least let me relish these few and precious moment where I am not the subject of said teasing.

Figuring that it is a lost battle, Nozomu sheepishly clears his throat.

Naomasa takes the opportunity and asks, "We're still working on your case, as we speak, Em."

I look at both of them with a smile, the index finger of my right hand casually and rhythmically taps on my arm rest as I talk, "Oh, I know that. I called for a different reason. It's good that you're both on this call. Saves me time and breath..."

For normal people, Naomasa is a hard person to read because he knows how to keep his emotional cards close to his chest. I am, however, not a person to be called normal…and so I notice that behind the veneer of calm indifference that he customarily exhibits, he really wants to know the answer to the question he dares not ask me. He is also not a person who minces his words. He does know me well enough so that he deems it best to ask away, "Dad said that you arranged to meet with him. Everything all right…?"

"I've asked for a meeting with him for informal and formal reasons. I'm coming by myself. I'd like for you to be there, too, Naomasa. It concerns about your Family."

I purposefully pause after what I have just said, and watch the two on the other line especially Naomasa.

"I see…" says Naomasa, pushing his glasses securely to the bridge of his nose. "All right, I'll escort you there."

"Thanks…."

"So it sounds like Troy and you are passing by our way?"

I smirk. Classic comment coming from Fuse Nozomu… "You make it sound as if the other side of the globe is just around the corner."

Nozomu nonchalantly replies, "Well, you made it so. Who's the one who travels regularly by private jet?"

Geez… What is this about men and their love in busting my chops? This one traveling beside me teases me all the time about having a nanny in my service to this very day. This one across the globe gives me a hard time about traveling by private jet. And there will definitely be more teasing as I visit and talk to the many because of what has been going on regarding the overseas merger between Marukawa Shoten and Onodera Shuppan in North America and Europe.

And so I teasingly counter, "Spoken by the man who treats Lyon, France as his round-the-corner local baker and café, and England as a stomping ground across the street…" I pause for a minute, and then tell Nozomu, "By the way, I was in Lyon just recently. I had a nice cup of coffee and a long chat with Commissioner General Namioka. He was visiting headquarters and his people there."

Nozomu's mood lights up a bit more. I can tell that there is respect and fondness in his mind as he reminisces times with our old chief. "Oh, you did? Anything interesting come up?"

"He still wants you back, you know – whether it be in Japan, or in Lyon."

"Yeah, he does. I still help every now and then, though." Nozomu pauses for a minute, and then dare asks, "Did he manage to lure you back in?"

I shake my head in amusement, shrugging my shoulders a bit. "Just like you, I freelance for them in both agencies. I've always been a freelancer from the beginning. It'll always stay that way. I'm surprised that they still want me back in. But their reasons for wanting me back are different from why they want you back."

"Because the powers-that-be allowed everyone to lie about your age? Nah… You're a totally different breed. Age doesn't even come into play when it comes to National Police Agency or Interpol wanting you back in any way, shape, or form. Well, it's true that you remained hidden until you were 15. That brain of yours and how you carried yourself was the perfect disguise, though. They offset how young you really are. You had the rest of us fooled for a very long time thinking that you're just an adult with an eternal baby face. If you hadn't told me back then how old you really were, you and Namioka would've continued to fool me along with everyone else. Besides, who would…at any age…want, withstand, handle, or solve those "weird" cases for any of the agencies?"

"Baby face…? Takes one to know one…." I say with a smirk, unable to hide my amusement from him because it brings back so many memories as to how he was teased at the agency for not looking and "acting" his age – a constant source of amusement and jokes at work which were done for endearment's sake.

"Weird cases" refers to caseloads that have a…or a series of…varied twists to them that can use my expertise and knowledge in archaeology, the occult, the paranormal, and anything that lies in between those areas. Anything that did not have a category and they felt was in my alley have been referred to me.

Nozomu still has that teasing fascination reflected in his eyes when he continues to ask, "Really, Em… Tell Big Brother Non-tan the truth… Did they manage to lure you back in?"

The word "Big Brother" stings a bit for me whenever it comes out of Nozomu's lips. However, I keep all those feelings behind a genial smile. "There was a lure, all right… and it's not the National Police Agency or Interpol."

There is a suggestive smile that escapes from Nozomu's lips. His tone is cheerful when he inquires, "Oh really? So, who's the lucky guy? Are you and AJ back together? Or have you and Troy decided to finally hook up?"

My blood boils for reasons known and unknown with Nozomu's line of questioning. I also know that he means well, but I feel hurt from being reminded of two particular moments. The first moment was when he rejected my feelings on the year that he quit Interpol. The second incident was two years ago when I saw him with another woman who was just a few years older than me. I know deep down that I am being childish right now and these feelings need to be resolved, but I guess that I have my own moments of weakness.

I also cannot blame Nozomu for thinking that either AJ or Troy will be my "lucky guy." After all, every single loved one of mine keeps bugging me about the same question. At times, I fling my hands up to the heavens because I just figuratively "have it up to here" with all the peanut gallery comments…some days worse than others.

And today is one of those worse days. Nozomu picks the worst possible time, and at a context where I really want to slap him hard across the head for being bloody insensitive and clueless. God, Nozomu – how cruel and dense can you possibly be?

There is absolutely nothing wrong in getting back together with AJ. In fact, I will welcome it if AJ and I can iron out our differences, accept each other for who we are, and then get back together again. However, there are old phrases that will describe such a reconciliation between AJ and me. Phrases such as "when pigs fly" or "when Hell freezes over" apply in my torn-up relationship with my old flame. I still deeply love him, but I have been far too burned because of it. One would think that four years is more than enough to move on after a break-up, but it really is not. Unlike me, he has already moved on. Meanwhile, I have been far too calloused since he and I parted ways. Aside from that, too much hurt has been dished out on both ends which serve as another whole matter in itself. Since he broke up with me, he dated many women and had been too insensitive to have the foresight not to flaunt these women before me. Unless the guy means to blatantly hurt someone as low as it could go, who the bloody hell would parade other women before an ex-girlfriend who happens to be a family member and business partner during family, business, and social functions. To make matters worse, he does this even on events where there would be a lot of people who have known us as a couple for years.

As to Troy, he also could have been a great catch. Sure, a couple of years ago, I also admitted my feelings for him and got rejected. He cited that he only saw me as a sibling and nothing more. Fate somehow places any chance of a relationship between him and me at an impasse…and so we linger in this limbo where we are everything to each other except on anything bordering the romantic. If there is anything between Troy and me, the best word to describe it is familial and nothing more. Just like AJ, although not in the same rampant manner, Troy would bring his dates during family, business, and social gatherings.

So between AJ and Troy bringing their respective dates in functions where the three of us have no choice but to be spending time together, it's been sheer torture for me. I wanted to scream my head off due to how insensitive these two can possibly be. Troy's actions are semi-forgivable on days when my patience can tolerate it. Deep down, I know that Troy - just like Nozumu - does such things more out of being innocently oblivious. AJ's antics, however, are questionably intentional and it drains me to even think about it. I know this because AJ and I have that same figurative bone in our body that pushes us to do such things. The only difference is that mine is far more sharpened yet it is used only when the occasion necessitates it...and those occasions so far always involve business or my missions.

But I look at the sky and take a deeper breath on many occasions because there are days that AJ, and at times Troy, tries my patience...and that figurative nasty bone in my body twitches, wanting to seek and destroy so that I am not the only one suffering.

And then here is Nozomu... He is equally if not more oblivious than Troy when it comes to matters of the heart. The words Big Brother mentioned along with Troy and AJ's names in one breath just drives me up the wall.

The discourse in my head makes me even more bloody pissed and petty….

And so for petty revenge, I have serious look on my face as I provocatively ask Nozomu in French, "What makes you think that the lure that hooked me in is a guy?" I then raise an eyebrow, giving him a gaze and leaving everything to the imagination.

Oh, I know it – my words make Nozomu really embarrassed! If we are face to face, I will not be surprised if he is blushing beet red by now.

Finally, I drop the serious facade and laugh out loud, I say as I switch back from French to Japanese, "God, Non-tan… I miss that priceless look on your face!"

I can tell that Nozomu is flustered to say the least as he mumbles, "You insinuating that you swing both ways... That was not funny, Em…."

"Oh, I beg to disagree… That was very funny…." I say with a chuckle. "And what makes you think that I'm suggesting about something so risque? I'm talking about things more of an intellectual, scientific, and investigative sense. You can't possibly chastise me for what goes on in your head."

Nozomu shakes his head, lets out a sigh, and then complains, "Sometimes I forget how much of a wise-ass you really are. Didn't anyone teach you to be nice to your elders?"

With a devious smirk and a chuckle, I tell Nozomu, "Please…. I'm the last person who'd consider age as a factor or a deal-breaker for anything. Before you easily send your mind to the gutter again, I'll give you your answers when we see each other. Fair enough…?"

Nozomu relaxes and places a hand at the back of his neck. He smiles as he shakes his head. "Fair enough…."

I break the comfortable pause between Nozomu and me when I tell him, "And Non-tan…?"

A still-amused Nozomu stirs from his pensive mood and directly gazes at me.

Continuing to give Nozomu a warm smile, I add, "You'd never look as old as your real age. Stop calling yourself old, will you?"

Nozomu chuckles, waving a hand with teasing dismissal as he says, "Fine, fine…." He then lets out a sigh, taking on a slightly serious mood as he proposes, "Why don't I give you a status report on your case?"

"Sure," I reply, leaning against my chair. I take a drink from my brandy glass and then tell Nozomu, "Whenever you're ready…."

"Well, you've asked my office to do surveillance and security for Aikawa Eiri, the Takahashi family, Hatori Yoshiyuki, Kisa Shouta, and Yokozawa Takafumi. I'll send the encrypted full report to you. Out of all our assignments, it was Yokozawa and company that nearly got assaulted. His friend, Kirishima Zen, was able to fend off the bad guys while Yokozawa and a young girl ran to get police."

I blink for a minute. "Did you say Kirishima Zen?"

Nozomu and I take a pause, with him giving me time to think. The name sounds familiar to me, and I rack my brain as to where did I first hear that name.

Finally, I remember as to who Kirishima Zen is. Isaka Ryuichiro mentioned him to me before. "Ah, he's the editor-in-chief for the shonen manga division of Marukawa Shoten. So he was able to protect himself and the others? Thank God…."

Having that baffled look on his face, Nozomu asks, "So what trouble are you delving into now?"

My chest feels heavy. I want to tell Nozomu right then and there, but I opt not to say it until I see him and Naomasa respectively in person. "Wait until we see each other. You'll get answers once I get to Japan. After my appointments once the plane lands, I'll contact you. Let's meet up."

"When…?"

"Japan? In a few hours... Meet up personally with you? Let's meet up at your place after I finish errands once my plane lands. To meet up with Naomasa and his Dad…? Late tonight…most probably lasting up to the wee hours of the morning... Meet up to fully discuss this case I'm about to give you and have a fully-signed contract drawn up? That's tonight while you and I are together at your pad. May I request your team to gather as much information as they can between now and then? My team will do the same. Sounds good?"

"All right…"

With a relieved smile, I say, "Thanks. I know that I can always count on you and your team."

Nozomu gives me this knowing look, just as he did in the old days whenever he wondered as to what I was truly up to. "Sounds like you've packed your schedule, as usual. Where in the world are you going to disappear to this time?"

"I'll be flying all over as always for various reasons, but I'll be mainly in Japan for a good handful of months. I've got something to send you and the guys. Add it to the data I've sent you over the past weeks. And one more thing – can you do me a favor?"

"Ask away…."

"I called Kento and told him that you'll take care of the finer details for me. My schedule's really crammed. I still have calls to make and business to wrap up – all of them due before this plane lands. Please book Lily on my behalf for one evening - one month after our entire caseload closes. It's a private event, so only my guests are invited. You're all invited as my guests, of course. Kento will be paid for what he rakes in for revenue at the bar on a good night. He'll also be reimbursed for expenses as well as receive an additional 20 percent for the use of space and his trouble. I need use of his grand piano and work with the sound system for the instruments. Make the private reservation as inconspicuous as possible to avoid suspicion. Please tell him that I'll pay him tonight when I see him."

I can see that Nozomu's interest was piqued. "Private party…?"

My lips are sealed until I see them in person, and so all I say is, "You could say that. It'll be a small, intimate party…as harmless and inconspicuous-looking as possible." I then let out a sigh, finally admitting that the fatigue is finally getting to me. "By the way, I have another job for you guys. Investigation on a handful of matters and security detail…."

"Who's the client?"

"I'm your point of contact. Everything will go through me. This case…everything…must be kept confidential as always."

"And who'll need security?"

"For a handful of people, including me…"

Nozomu laughs, his eyes narrowing in amusement. "Are you kidding? Since when have you needed security?"

Oh, Nozomu, if you only know that I am not bloody joking. And so my reply is, "I'll give you more details. I'd love to not have security, as you know, but I need to keep appearances. Only my Dad, Jii-san, Troy and a small handful know that I don't need a bodyguard. Everybody else thinks that I'm this dainty, defenseless woman…so I say 'let them.' That'll only help in all the things that I need to do."

"You're back to your cryptic, vague self again, Em…"

I give Nozomu a serious look as I see Naomasa busy with his work but close enough to hear what I have to say. "Have Naomasa check the agency's account. Then you can ask me as to how much I'm kidding around."

I see Naomasa typing away at a computer behind Nozomu. I then hear him say with a tinge of urgency in his voice, "Chief…."

Nozomu excuses himself, stands up, and joins Naomasa. Seeing their reactions, the two look as if they cannot believe what they are seeing on the screen.

Nozomu then walks back to his desk and faces the screen once more. I can tell that he is internally shaking off a level of shock from what has just seen along with Naomasa. He is tight-lipped, asking, "Fifty thousand pounds? Are you serious?"

"It's an advance for the case that I'm about to give you. I'm requiring all of your agencies' resources from start to finish. That means all of you at your agency will be working on my case."

Still in disbelief, Nozomu quietly states, "But you've already paid the agency to watch over the people from your list. That was before the time we've watched them."

I explain to Nozomu, "The money paid two weeks ago was for services rendered from then up to the time that I get to Japan. The time for our new arrangement starts once my plane lands in Japan. What you now see is a deposit of good faith to retain your agency's services…one-twentieth of what I think should be your full fee. That fee does not include expenses you'll be incurring as you work."

"This is a lot of money, Em…."

"I don't throw money around, Non-tan. You know that. This case has so much at stake as well as demands, ergo the money you now both see in the account. I guess-timated the full amount for your services as a starting point for negotiation talks between us.… You and I will talk about everything, including the risks that might be involved which would justify my estimates. The contract amount is negotiable. If negotiations between us don't pull through, consider the money as a non-refundable fee for consulting services. I've formally outlined what services I'd need. I'll hand it to you once we see each other. Let me know if your agency can do it. We can negotiate once Naomasa joins us tonight...before he and I leave to visit his Dad."

"Of course we can do it. Since when has our agency refused work from you?"

"I appreciate the enthusiasm. I have no doubt of your agency's capabilities. Just hear out what I have to say first, and then decide. You'll see that I have my reasons."

I can tell from Nozomu's expression that he is mulling over the meaning behind my words. "All right... So where should we meet up – your place, or mine?"

"My pad first… Let's talk old business first, so come alone. After our talk, we can all meet up with the rest at Lily for drinks."

"I'm sure everyone will be excited to see you two."

When I hear the word "everyone" escape from Nozomu's lips, I know that he is referring to the guys from Fuse Investigations. The same word…everyone…bears a different meaning for me. My thoughts drift towards memories of the woman that Nozomu was with a few years ago…the one he kissed at the park. "You've added staff since we've last seen each other, am I right?"

Nozomu is definitely caught off-guard. That confirms to me that the woman is someone he holds dear to his heart…someone equal or even greater than Rika…someone who has been bequeathed the privilege that I wish to have for so long but is never meant to have. And so he responds, "She's not a staff member. She's a photographer and a journalist. She helps us out on cases here and there. She's also…"

There was a brief yet uncomfortable pause between Nozomu and me.

"Masa…can you give me a moment, here?" I hear Nozomu ask Naomasa, and see Naomasa walk out of the room to grant privacy.

And then Nozomu finishes his explanation, "Em… She's not a new staff member. She's my girlfriend…."

I fall quiet for a while. It hurts a lot. How can I be as authentic as possible while my feelings are a bloody mess? Conceptually, I know that the right thing to do is to accept and be thankful that I still have a long-standing, nearly-familial friendship with Nozomu. I would love to know how to accept everything because at this exact moment in time, I do not know how.

So all that I can muster to say is, "I see…."

Judging by the empathetic tone of Nozomu's voice and the wounded look on his face, he can tell the general direction of where my thoughts and feelings are at the moment. "Em…."

"She's only a few years older than me," I say to Nozomu, thinking aloud and expressing what has been on my mind for the past couple of years. "What you said four years ago about my age...and for us to wait and see... So age really is not an issue for you. It's more than that…. It has more to do with me..."

"You know how I feel about you…." Nozomu looks at me with a soft smile that feels as if it is strangling the life out of me.

"I know… It…" I take in a deep breath, mustering what I can to have this conversation with Nozomu. "You said that you love me as a baby sister…nothing more. You said so when I told you how I feel about you. At the time, you were grieving for more than a year over Rika, and AJ had already broken up with me a while back. We were both hurting. That time, you said that I was too young for you. You said that you were sure that you saw me as family. You said that you felt something more than that for me, but you just don't know what it was. But seeing her… Seeing you with her… That kiss between the two of you…."

"You saw us?" Nozomu asks, still gazing at me with such kindness. I can tell from his face that he is hurting for me as well. It is his nature not to hurt anyone he cares about. "When was this?"

"Fountain Park… There was an illumination event during that time." I smile bitterly, but I make sure that my tone did not bear any hint of blame. Feelings or not, I do not blame Nozomu or the one who occupies his heart and romantic affections. I continue explaining, "I was in Japan for business. I saw you at a café across the street from where I stood. I was excited to see you…wanting to catch up on old times. I called out for you. Since you didn't hear me, I ran after you. And then I saw you two…. You two were gazing at lights…holding hands…kissing…"

"I'm sorry, Em." Nozomu looks sad as he gazes back at me. "You know I've never meant to hurt you. You're family to me. I didn't want to jump into anything until I'm clear with what was going on with me."

Unable to help myself from getting teary-eyed, I reply, "I know that. That very fact makes me the happiest and saddest at the same time."

I can feel Nozomu's eyes focused on me…

I lower my gaze for a while, and then muster whatever little courage I have within me to face Nozomu again. "When I saw you that day, I wanted to have this conversation with you. I wanted to move on. I was stunned and then retreated when I saw you being so happy and intimate with her. And so here we are right now. I still want to say what needs to be said."

I pause for a minute, choosing my words carefully and then telling Nozomu, "I want to keep the ties that we have, Non-tan. You're a great big brother to me and a trusted colleague and friend. Those bonds between us are precious to me. As sad as I am for me these past years, I've been happy for the two of you. I don't want to be sad about you and me anymore. I want to have closure and acceptance over what you and I are really meant to be. Now that you have someone special in your life, I want to honor and support the feelings that you two have for each other. That's what family…a sister…should do for her big brother. But it's been hard…."

I know that conversations of such nature are best handled in person. I cannot afford to lose my focus on what is important, and that is to protect who and what are most important to me. Once my feet touch Japanese soil, I have to be ready for what is in store for all of us. And if it takes breaking, nursing, and healing my broken heart during a plane trip heading to Japan so that I can get over a one-sided love that I have been carrying all these years, then so be it.

"You know, Em…. If it weren't for the tip you've given me on how deep the corruption is in the National Police Agency and the Interpol, I'd still be in Lyon. I found myself again after I left Interpol. That was the beginning of all the good things that have been coming in my life. From there, I met and fell in love with her. I never said this to you, but in my heart, I've always thanked you for all of this. And I am so sorry that instead, I ended up hurting you. I'm sorry that all I could be is a brother, a friend, and a colleague for you. I'd do anything for you, but I do that as your big brother and friend. If I force things towards what you wished for back then, I'd be lying to and hurting both of us if I do that. Again, I'm so sorry…."

"Non-tan, I know…. That's why I'm saying this now… You and I both know that what you said is true."

There is still so much more to say, but at least the heaviest part is now out there in the open. I do my best to hold it together, but I cannot think of anything to say.

Nozomu breaks the silence between us. He combs his fingers through his hair and then gives me a kind smile. That smile of his should warm the heart, but it breaks mine at this time. "Let's continue our talk when we see each other, please? We owe it to each other to have this talk in person."

I let out a quiet sigh and nod to Nozomu. "All right… See you very soon, Non-tan."

"Take care and stay safe, Em…. See you very soon…."

I did not move and wait until Nozomu ends the call first. I stay in my seat, mulling over what has just been said between us. At least it is out in the open now, and all I need is to push myself to move on.

I think back on what happened back then, and how much it affected me. I did not hold back from Nozomu alone. I held back from another person whose relationship with me mirrored almost the same circumstances as Nozomu and I faced. I held back from getting to know other people, not just because of the hurt stemming from a bad break-up and consecutive rejections but because of the life of secrets that I choose to continue living.

I bunch up my fists and hold back my tears. I should know better that I have to be the bigger person in this situation...

But can someone tell me which rule does it state that I have to be the self-sacrificing, bigger person once more? Have I not done this more than enough already? Why does it have to hurt this much…?

For now, I allow myself to shed some silent tears. I do not want to be a victim in this. I do not say this as an act of denial, but rather the truth. It is what it is, and I have to accept which cards I have been dealt with.

For now, I allow myself to shed these silent tears as my way to acknowledge that my heart has been broken far too many times. It is my way to empty myself so that I can have room for the courage I need to gain the closure and healing that I need to move on.

But just I need to know...where do I start...?

TIMELINE: PRESENT

coinciding with events set in fanfic Parallels - The Tangled Web We Weave - Chapter 8 - The Dragon King and the Dark Queen

Location: With Oh Soryu – leaving Tres Spades Tokyo

Final Destination: Sakura Manor / Sakuragumi Headquarters

Preliminary Destination: Fuse Investigations Office and staff residence (Tokyo)

Alexandra Emrys' Point of View (POV)

After Soryu gives me time to say goodbye to everyone at Tres Spades, he and I set to leave for our destination but not until after a smirking Eisuke says to me, "Enjoy this date with Soryu, Em. I'm sure it'll be a good one."

Soryu...who I also call Gēge...corrects Eisuke, "I can't call tonight a date. Em and I have Ice Dragons business to attend to. She and I will definitely schedule another time. Better setting, better circumstances."

All the auction managers just chuckle away...

Eisuke adds, telling me, "Remember that the next date you have with this group is with me. I'll show you a great time."

"I won't forget," I reply with amusement, letting Eisuke plant a kiss on the crown of my head before Gēge and I leave the penthouse.

Soryu and I take the elevator leading to the hotel's underground parking for VIPs. I can't help but sigh and shake my head.

As the elevator closed its doors and started going down, Soryu asks me in Cantonese without mincing any words, "Why were you upset before we left, Mèi Mei?"

I now switch from Japanese to Cantonese as well – a language that Soryu and I are both fluent in speaking and writing. We speak either in Cantonese or Mandarin whenever the two of us are by ourselves. I also do the same whenever I talk or writer letters to Yeye - true name Oh Shiryu, Soryu's grandfather and former head of the Ice Dragons. "Ai, Gēge…. You have to be more specific."

"Troy. Is that specific enough for you?"

I snort and shake my head once more. I express my frustration as I explain, "Troy and I were talking about why I'm going out tonight. We talked about two of my appointments tonight – Fuse Nozomu and the folks at MPD…particularly Nomura Tadanobu."

Whenever Soryu and I speak in Cantonese, I call him Gēge …the word for older brother. In turn, he calls her Mèi Mei…the word for younger sister.

We see the black limousine that'll be giving us a lift to our first destination. Inui and Samejima get out of the limousine with bright smiles on their faces.

"Princess! It's so good to see you!" Inui yells out in Japanese, extremely happy as he meets me halfway and gives her a glomp hug. I can tell how happy he is on how he kisses him on the cheek...but there's no malice in his expression of happiness or affection. He's very sweet.

I then turn to Samejima, the two of us exchange a familial hug and a kiss on the cheek as he tells me, "Welcome home, Em! We all missed you!"

"I missed both of you and everyone in the family, too," I says in Japanese with such a warm smile, and then I teasingly chastise Inui, "Ryosuke, don't call me Princess. That title belongs to Soryu's special someone when the time comes."

"Ah, let them, Mèi Mei," Soryu tells me in Japanese, "The head of the Ice Dragon's one and only sister deserves that title as well. You're part of the Ice Dragon's family, too."

Soryu's two most trusted subordinates smile and nod their agreement, doing so not just because he says so but because they believe in what he says, too. As far as everyone is concerned, they have considered me as family by affiliation and merit since a long time ago. At least, that is what they keep saying to me...that I have proven my in the Ice Dragons time and time again.

Tonight is very important, for I will bring together the Ice Dragons and the Sakuragumi to the table as allies, friends, and family – an extreme yet very-much-welcomed reversal from the long-time feud between our two clans due to Ryuun's rule.

Inui opens the limousine door for Soryu and me. Minutes later, the limousine drives out of the Tres Spades VIP parking lot.

With Inui and Samejima sitting at the front, Soryu and I sit at the very back with plenty of room to spread around and lots of privacy due to the soundproofing amenities inside the limousine.

I pick up from where Soryu and I have left off from our earlier conversation, and so he reverts to Cantonese and says to me, "You mentioned the last name Nomura…. The name sounds familiar…"

I reply in Cantonese, "He's the Deputy Chief of the MPD. I've worked on a lot of cases over the years with him and his team of detectives."

"Ah… Wasn't he the one you dated when you just broke up with AJ?"

I stop for a minute, being caught off-guard. I then admit to Soryu, "Yes… The very one… It was one time, and that was more of like a big brother cheering up a little sister if you ask me. But there was more to it than that, too."

Soryu offers me two choices to drink from the limousine's mini-refrigerator – whiskey or seltzer water. Once I have chosen, he hands me the bottle of seltzer water while saying, "Eisuke and I wondered what happened between you and that guy. We figured that it fizzled out. You never mentioned anything about him since then, except for work-related stuff."

After taking a drink, I reply as I lean back on the seat, "No, it wasn't like that. We were hurting too much back then. We both had too much respect for each other – that's why. We found out that we had feelings for each other. We wanted more but we figured it would be best to wait when we were both not hurting. Then when that time ever comes and we still feel the same for each other, we'll see what happens next."

"Then…?" Soryu asks, giving me a searching look to fill in the blanks that all of them at Tres Spades probably have been wondering all these years but never got to ask me until now.

I frown a bit, letting out a sigh. I can't hide my disappointment and frustration. "Then Nozomu happened and I got cold feet. When I think about it, I'm the one who kept distance from Tadanobu."

"What does Nomura have to do with Fuse?"

"A lot of similarities… Similar age gap between us... Both of us were hurting at the time, too… Almost similar circumstances where my feelings had to be put on hold until I become older… The difference is that Nozomu didn't feel the same way that I did for him. He only sees me as a little sister, and my ego got too bruised to accept it. Tadanobu and I feel the same way from each other. We agreed to settle our hurts first before we do anything further.

Soryu gives me a serious look as he empathetically listened to my story. He then says, "I'm glad they didn't do anything unless they were serious with you." And after a short pause, he follows up by asking, "So you specifically got angry with Troy because…?"

I then tell Soryu the whole story of what happened out in the balcony area moments before he walked in to fetch me. He falls quiet for a while, and then repeats back what I just told me because he probably couldn't believe it himself. Heck, I still want to mangle Troy right now because I still can't believe it myself.

And so Soryu echoes back, "Troy kept pointing out that you choose older men to date?"

"Yes. So fucking insensitive of him…. I kept refuting and telling him to stop, but he didn't. I got fed up. And so I pointed out that he's wrong. Why would he keep insisting that when he knows that he refused me a couple of years ago? He and AJ are just barely three years older than I am, but I had feelings for them. If I've been merely interested in dating older men, then explain why I ended up having feelings for him and Rhion…or had AJ for a boyfriend for a handful of years?"

Using a consoling tone, Soryu reminds me, "I'm sure that Troy didn't mean anything bad by it."

I know that I am still frowning about it. I can tell because my blood is still boiling just thinking about it.

Soryu relaxes in the seat while he keeps his gaze on me. "Well, it's good that you're going out on dates. It's about time that you choose to move on."

I raise an eyebrow for a moment, and I cannot help but still think about the issue while I reply, "I accepted the invitations. I don't know what'll come next."

With a warm smile, Soryu tells me, "Ah,.. You'll be going out with people you've known most of your life. You've chosen very good friends throughout your life who've become family to you. Moreover, we're all like your big brothers. We know better to treat you with respect if we ever ask you out."

"Respect so that it's awkwardly hands off?" I tell Soryu with a sigh. I definitely know that I am pouting right now.

"It means we'll think twice before we take things to the next step. That's a good thing."

"Sorry if I don't share your complete enthusiasm about it. I'm grateful that I'm not pressured into doing something I'm not ready for. Yet it's like my date and I will be dancing over eggshells. He won't take the risk because he respects the long-standing friendship. Meanwhile, I'm afraid to initiate the move because my date might think that I'm a slut or a loose woman. It's already bad enough that my ex thinks so."

I can see the irritation light up in Soryu's eyes, but I know that the irritation is not meant for or towards me. He told me time and time again on how upset AJ and Troy make him at times even if he considers them as younger brothers. He did not hold back and let AJ have it when AJ made a scene at the hospital and broke up with me. And I can still tell how the past angers him, for that is laced in his voice when he tells me, "You're going out on a date with people who know that you didn't do anything wrong to deserve that from AJ. You kept things to yourself to protect your loved ones. It's also not your or Troy's fault that AJ jumped to stupid conclusions – remember that. So have you been having trouble finding someone outside the circle?"

"Nobody interests me outside our circle. It's also hard to have outsiders involved with my life. You know how complicated our lives are." I shake my head and then let out a burdened sigh. "I've already dated inside my circle of trust and it's still complicated. I'm just grateful that Rhion and I are not awkward around each other. With Tadanobu and Troy…well, it's mostly my fault that things are a bit awkward between us but we're fine for the most part. Nozomu and AJ are a different story, though."

Soryu stops for a moment and then mumbles, "Rhion… The Mad Hatter…. Luke and I still wonder what you saw in him."

I can't help it... Thoughts of Rhion make me smile. "Rhion's very sweet, Gēge. It's comforting to be with him. Eisuke knows what I see. He was sad along with me when Rhion said that he didn't feel the same as I did."

I can tell how Soryu mulls over my words about the Mad Hatter, and he eventually nods. He knows that Eisuke always has a soft spot for Rhion, and so he comments, "He's odd, but I do see what you're saying. He's harmless, and he's a good auctioneer."

I nod, too, and the two of us exchange knowing smiles and searching gazes. As much as we're smiling at each other and that I should be happy, I can still feel that sadness sucking me in. Soryu and I stay in comfortable silence for a while as I take a drink from my water bottle and so does he.

Out of the blue, Soryu asks me, "You've rushed through life already. Why do you feel the need to do the same when it comes to love?"

Soryu asks a fair question, and I open up to him. "Well, AJ was about to propose at the time. I was 16, he was 19. But the plan was for a long engagement. People say that our break-up was for the best since we were still too young. Yet, the whole thing…how it all unraveled… It just sucked, and it hurt. It hurts up to now."

And then I have to let out a sigh. My chest felt heavy for a moment, and that pause allows me to center myself once more. And so I continue confiding with Soryu, "I started thinking more about this when Kaz, Kei, and Yuzu asked me out. Quite frankly, I'm really not in a rush. In fact, maybe I'm just envious of normal people. Beyond AJ and Tadanobu, I never got to experience what it's like to be excited about a date just like a teenager or a grown woman would. Maybe part of me is looking for that. Maybe I said yes because I want to make up for lost time...or that I didn't want to deal with the hassle if things don't work out."

I see Soryu let out a sigh, too, before he quietly nods. I can see that sense of empathy that he unselfishly gives reflected in his eyes as he says, "What AJ decided to do between the two of you was sadly his loss. When Troy and Nozomu turned you down, that was their loss, too. As with Rhion, the friendship between the two of you stood strong. When it comes to Nomura, though… you lost an opportunity to get to know him better because you allowed your hurt from Nozomu affect you."

I give Soryu a long, searching gaze. "Gēge, what do you think I should do, then? If I find someone who doesn't know even half of what I do, I risk losing that relationship and getting hurt again. I can't reveal my secrets. There are only a few people in the world who know my entire secret and trust completely at the same time. Even Michael-san doesn't know all of my secrets because I have to protect him and AJ."

The two of us fall quiet for a while…

Soryu moves seats, and so he now sits beside me. I can feel his gaze resting on me as I bow my head and avoid eye contact, and it hurt when I hear him murmur, "Em..?"

I am doing all that I can to keep my composure. At the same time, I want to be honest with Soryu...one of my longest and most trusted brother figures in my life. And so I admit, "I feel like hanging by a thread." I have to pause for a moment before I add, "These things that have been going on…the threats from Okada, Derek Anson, and Almagest… I feel as if I'm being pushed against the corner. When Prime Minister Brown died, I felt helpless. It's a different kind of helplessness."

"What do you mean?"

"A person normally feels helpless because he doesn't have the power to change or reverse things…such as people's deaths. Mine is different. I have some capability in my fingertips to change or reverse things. My helplessness comes with knowing that when the circumstance is meant-to-be, I'm forced to accept that things mustn't be changed for the greater good. It's like a bitter pill that I have to constantly swallow…and each time, it's getting harder to do so."

Soryu and I fall silent once more, staying as such for a while until Soryu says to me, "You know how I've always wanted to become a detective. At times, you leave me amazed. I don't know how you manage to do it. A life serving the law, and delving in the underworld…the mafia being one of them… Both light and dark…"

"I'm just glad and thankful that you trust me, even though I'm Interpol, too. I know that you tense up when it comes to Tenma..."

The Tenma who I refer to is none other than Tenma Shiraishi - Soryu's younger half brother who he shares a father with. He currently holds a senior officer rank at Interpol, and is technically peers with Kishi Mamoru and me. I have more interactions with Tenma since my activities for Interpol are more global in reach than Kishi. Although Tenma probably knows that I have ties with Soryu, he pretty much has left me alone...probably because my other professional endeavors particularly the diplomatic ones keep me busy and most of those activities are with law enforcement agencies. I, on the other hand, continue to feign ignorance for the protection of my secret as well as Tenma's protection too.

Soryu tells me without hesitation, "You and Tenma are different, Em. I trust you with everything. He may be my brother, but I'd never have that level of comfort or trust with him. He lives in a world where all mobsters and everyone unlawful are bad. You're not like that because you know better. You see things much differently and more openly than he does."

"It's not easy, Gēge. I have to keep things from my law enforcement friends. I'm pretty much like Mamoru, possibly worse because of my rank. I've been doing this for 11 years and counting. I have to balance everything so that those opposite worlds don't collide with each other. Lately, though, I feel that my luck might run out soon. And I don't want it to end because of the role that I play."

"Such as…?"

"Something might serve justice but not be lawful, and vice versa." I lift my head and glance at him. I pour out my heart and I can feel the held-back tears threatening to fall again. "Sometimes, those who serve the law are not honorable. Then you have those who are in the underworld. Mobsters such as you, Yeye, Samejima, Rahman, and Ryosuke… Thieves such as Baba and the Black Foxes… Assassins such as Hikaru… Yes, such people commit acts labeled as crimes yet they uphold a higher sense of honor. I can protect others through the law. I can protect those who live in our gray world...those who uphold a moral code... And now, I've been standing in Jii-san's place for five years and counting."

I have known this secret which ties Jii-san to the Ishino and Oh clans as well as the underworld. For two-thirds of his long life, Jii-san – Troy's maternal grandfather – served as the negotiator of the underworld. His true, deeper role was sentinel for the underworld. For those who stay true to a moral code, the sentinel serves as their divine sword and shield. For those who don't, the sentinel is retribution personified. Only a chosen few know that there's such a figure in the underworld. And for those who know about the existence of the sentinel, a fewer number know the real identity of any past or current sentinels. These select few are sworn to secrecy, with their lives as collateral if the secret is divulged.

Soryu pauses for a moment, gathering his thoughts and questions on the issue. This probably happens be another area of curiosity for Eisuke and him. Taking the opportunity before him, he confides with me, "I've asked Jii-san one time on why that role went to you rather than Troy. I don't mean to offend you, Em… I've just been curious because Troy's blood."

"No offense taken," I reply with a smile, sighing as he now takes his turn to gather his thoughts. "If you're talking about blood, then the true inheritor of that position should've been AJ. Didn't Yeye or Jii-san himself tell you anything?"

"All I know is that Jii-san was the past sentinel, and you're the current one. I only found out about it after I overthrew Ryuun and I became the Ice Dragons' boss."

I turn my body and sit sideways to face Soryu. "The original bloodline for the sentinel was the Ishino Family. That had been the case for many generations. The last sentinel from the Ishino bloodline – AJ's paternal grandfather – had two best friends. They were Jii-san and Yeye. Michael-san…Dad…was orphaned when he was around seven. For unexplainable reasons, the powers of the sentinel manifested in Jii-san. He took that as a sign that he must carry out a dear friend's wish from beyond the grave. Since then, Jii-san also became Michael-san's father. He took on the role of sentinel for two generations of the Ishino Family. About five years ago, when it was time for Jii-san to retire from the role, he asked Troy to choose. Troy declined. Jii-san didn't disclose to Troy that someone else must take his place should he refuse. The only difference was that Troy was given a chance to choose. The one who got it should Troy refuse had no choice but to take over. Before Troy made that choice, I was the one who manifested the supernatural abilities needed for the role. It not only skipped both Troy and AJ. Whatever I supernaturally had plus Jii-san's abilities gave a different dimension to the role. So for the past five years, the sentinel reverted to its original conception from long ago - a supernatural figure that serve as friend or foe in the underworld. Sure, Troy or AJ could've been forced to take the role and inherit the abilities but forcing it would've cost them more than just their lives."

The facts that Soryu has just learned from me seems to sober him up to say the least. "And you've been handling not just Troy's burden but AJ's burden, too. Are they even aware of this?"

I quietly chuckle and shake my head. "No, they're not. I told Dad and Jii-san not to say anything about it. I want it to remain that way. Can you just imagine if someone wants to be with me out of feelings of pity, obligation, or indebtedness towards me? I want someone who accepts me for who I am, and who I can accept the same way in return."

Soryu gazes at me, asking me as kindly as he can, "So tell me… What's making you so sad?"

I meet Soryu's gaze and remains speechless. For a minute, I really want to dismiss his line of questioning with a denial, quip, or change of topic. Yet I think it dawns on me that I have given him my word from long ago that I'd be honest with him, most especially on times such as now.

When I still cannot muster to say a word, Soryu dares offer a reason for my sadness by asking me, "Are you sad because of this man we're about to see?"

After many minutes of silence between us, I finally say, "I'm going through a lot, Gēge. Been doing a lot of thinking… I feel a lot of things… Overwhelmed… Touched… Enraged…. Vengeful… Trapped… Lonely…"

I pause for a few moments and then add, "If I do more than just finish Derek Anson and the current form that Almagest is in, what would you and the others do, Gēge? I don't normally care about what others think, but I do highly regard what all my big brothers think. So I'm curious. What will happen to us if things turn that way for me when all else fails and that's the only solution to take? Will that cause a rift between all of us...with me being isolated from all of you? What happens when everything blows up on my face and I can only live in the shadows?"

Soryu gives me the kindest smile that he can possibly give. "You are an Ice Dragon, Em. You're family to us. You'll always have a world and a place to call home. You'll always have me...don't you ever forget that..."

Soryu then chooses not to say anything; letting me ramble on if needs be…

"About these dates I'm about to have… I can't help but feel that my big brothers are feeling so sorry for me that they're going out of their way to date me. I'm so touched with the gesture, but my misgivings about these dates make me feel like I'm such an ingrate."

"You may be our little sister, but each one of us is not related to you by blood."

"I know that, but–"

Soryu's gaze stays with me as he explains to me, "Any one of us asking you on a date is doing that as a man asking a woman. You shouldn't make a mistake between the two. You shouldn't belittle such gesture."

There is a silence between us….

And Soryu continues by pointing out to me, "What makes AJ and Troy different from any of us? When you think about it, they're just as much as your big brothers as we are. You even had a long-term relationship with AJ."

I do not say anything. What can I say? I lower my gaze as I think things over and at the same time. I also do not have the usual courage that I have to look Soryu in the eye.

After Soryu gives me time to think things through, he says, "Look…let me ask you…. If you didn't grow up around us and each one of us asked you out on a date, would you have said no? What thoughts would've crossed your mind?"

I lift my head and tell Soryu, "I didn't say no to any of these dates. But if that was the scenario, I…"

When I stop my words mid-stream, Soryu narrow his eyes and ask, "I what..?"

I meet Soryu's gaze. I am deeply sad. I can feel the tears threatening to stream down from my eyes once again. "If I find that special someone, I wouldn't know what things I should tell or keep hidden. I'd be scared if that other person gets hurt or dies because of this really complicated world of mine. What if Derek, Madeline, Almagest, or anyone who I made an enemy of retaliates by using him to get to me? What if that person demands that I choose between him and the life that I've built for myself? What if I fall for someone in law enforcement and he finds out that half of my world sometimes goes against the law? What would he do should I refuse to betray that that world and the people that I've cared for who are in it? How I wish there'd be someone who I can have a mutual relationship with – love, acceptance, respect, and understanding that this is who I am."

Soryu lets out a burdened sigh. "You and I don't live easy lives. I wish that I can have an easy and reassuring answer for you, but I don't. If it makes you feel any better, I also wish for the same things that you do. I also worry about nearly the same things as you do, too."

"Now do you understand what I'm saying when I said earlier that I feel lonely?" Good God, I cannot shake off the sadness and the sense of feeling so small. I try to hide it behind a smile, but I do not know if I am able to hide at least some of the heaviness I am feeling right now. "I know that there are people around me. I have family. They may not be by blood, but I feel the love and care. I, too, love and care for each one very much. That fact should fill my heart. That fact should make me feel grateful. I want to do more for those I love, but I feel that I'm always falling short. I'm surrounded by love and care, but I can't shake the loneliness sometimes. And lately, I've been afraid for everyone around me. The music and the songs… I wouldn't be able to cope with and filter through with what I'm feeling if it weren't for those."

A look of kindness veils Soryu's features. "Is that why you're busying yourself with another career? It gives you a sense of normalcy? Of balance…?"

I nod my head.

There is comfortable silence between Soryu and me...with it lingering a little longer before he asks me, "From one lonely person to another, would you like to hang out with me a little more often than we've usually done over the years? May I consider each of those times between us as dates?"

Wait a minute... Did Soryu say the word "date?" Did he just ask me if we can hang out more often and all those times between us will be called dates?

What does Soryu's words and invitation mean?

I look at Soryu for a good, long while. He looks back at me, his eyes reflecting that I hear and understand everything that he says correctly.

And so I smile and nod, and I take the hand that Soryu offers me. The smiles we share with each other becomes warmer as we tighten the hold of the other's hand.

I can only count in my five fingers the moments in my life that I have felt like a shrinking violet. This very moment happens to be one of them.

"Good…" Soryu tells me with a soft smile that makes my heart ache, seemingly happy that I have taken his invitation. "Let's talk about it more on our way to the Sakuragumi. It looks like we're just about 10 minutes away from our first destination."

I do not know if Soryu knows that I feel so happy and shy about his invitation...

As Soryu notices me doing my best to subdue my reaction, he places my other hand on top of our clasped hands. Referring to Nozomu, Soryu tells me as gently and as reassuringly as he can, "When you speak to him, hold your head up high at all times. From what it sounded like, this guy seems nice. You two might've not meant to be a couple, you're both meant to be friends. So openly talk to him. Preserve the friendship that you two have. Aim to get closure so that you can finally move on. All right..?"

I nod, and our drive continues comfortable silence while Soryu clasps my hand with his left one. He and I held hands like this over the years, and it never fails to make me feel nostalgic. This touch brings back so many memories for me...

The first time that Soryu held my hand... I still remember that very day...

I remember how Soryu held my hand long ago when I first met him. It was the same day that I buried Mum and Dad. That was also the same day that I met Eisuke Ichinomiya and Luke Foster. The three of them joined Kazuomi Shido, Yuzuru Shiba, and Kei Soejima in being my big brothers. The six of them are my original big brothers stemming from a long time back. For me, I consider them bringing me so many blessings because knowing them brought me to paths where I met others who I ended up considering as family.

Soon thereafter, I met the Paradiso men, the rest of the auction managers, the Urban Resort Casino group, and so much more... They became friends, siblings, and family to me.

And I cannot help think as to how quickly time flies, and how many trials have we faced together.

And now, another problem is before all of us. Soryu along with many others who I care about is being targeted by Almagest. He also faces treachery within his own Ice Dragons family as well as attacks from enemies known and unknown.

All will stop very soon. It all starts once Soryu and I arrive at the Sakura Clan's estate - with him being the Boss of the Ice Dragons, and with me being his sentinel.

Before then, though, I have to face Nozomu and finally get much-needed closure.

May all go well tonight...

End of Chapter One