I walked quick down the hallway to the MRI booth, my black combat boots quiet against the tile floor. I was a little irritated but also anxiety rushed through my body like a vortex. My dirty blonde hair that I normally kept in a bun when I was working was now in a high ponytail. I rounded the corner and entered the MRI booth to see Bailey, Izzie in a wheelchair with an IV bag and Derek all sitting at the monitors. Derek and Izzie both looked at me in confusion, but Bailey didn't seem surprise considering that she was the one who called me in. On my day off.
"I was at home." I snapped, irritably. "I was at home, asleep. I was at homme, asleep on my day off. I was actually going to get a full eight hours of sleep considering I just worked a thirty-two-hour shift in the ER. I am exhausted. I was actually going to get a full eight hours of sleep before the wedding which is today by the way. Do you know how rare it is for me to get any kind of sleep without Mark? Exceedingly rare. So, excuse me if I'm a little irritated that I got called in on my day off and I don't get a full eight hours of sleep before the wedding." They all looked at me, eyes wide not knowing what to say. I cleared my throat and straightened my back, pulling on the bottom of my black leather jacket with both hands to smooth it out. "I know that's a little petty for me to say since I'm pursuing the career of being a doctor, but I just had to say so it's not festering inside my chest all day. Now, what's the problem with Izzie?" Izzie turned back to the monitors waiting for the scan results.
"Denny's back." Izzie muttered. The last time she saw Denny, she had a tumor on her temporal lobe that luckily Derek removed successfully. All pettiness and irritation aside, I stepped up the monitors as the scan results appeared on the screen. Derek was quiet for a moment as he looked them over. I didn't see anything on the scans.
"Look." Derek told Izzie.
"I'm looking, but I don't see anything."
"Because there's nothing there. The scan's clean."
"I told you." Bailey said.
"Then why is Denny back?" Izzie inquired angrily. "The man's a hallucination. That means there has to be something there."
"Look, Izzie, i-if it's clear, then…" I began to reassure her, but she cut me off.
"I want to go to this wedding. I want to watch the bride walk down the aisle. I want to hear the vows. I want to catch the bouquet. I planned this wedding down to the very last detail. It's the perfect wedding. This wedding… is perfect. You know how much I want to be there. So why would I say anything about Denny, today of all days? Why wouldn't I just wait? Denny is back that means something is there."
"Well, it's not like we can just… map the brain for hallucinations the way we do a seizure." Bailey said.
"Wait a minute." Derek objected, placing his finger on his lips in thought. "What are hallucinations?"
"Hallucinations are neurons firing in the brain." Izzie answered impatiently as if a six-year-old could have known that answer.
"Exactly."
"Why?" I inquired, crossing my arms over my chest, and shifting my weight onto my right hip.
"Well, it's never been done before, but if we can somehow induce your hallucination, there's a chance that we could pick it up on an EEG. Then we could pinpoint the part of the brain that's hallucinating."
GA
"So… now what?" Izzie asked Derek as she sat back in the chair and Derek took his spot behind the monitors while Bailey and I attached the sensors and wires to Izzie chest and head. "I just try to have a hallucination?"
"Mm-hmm." Derek hummed as he turned on the monitors. "Yep."
"Okay."
"Stevens, is it always Denny?" Bailey inquired. "I mean, no one else?"
"Yeah."
"Mm."
"What?"
"Oh, no, nothing. It makes sense. He's the man you love."
"He's not the man I love."
"He's not?"
"Well, I mean, I… I love Denny. I will always love Denny. He means a lot to me. I… but I think I hallucinate Denny because I associate him with death and dying when I think about my future—who I am now, who I want to be, how I want to spend the rest of my life, when you get that flutter in your chest—Alex. Alex is the man I love."
"Karev."
"I love Alex Karev." Izzie sighed in content as a smile brightened up her face. "So… let's find this tumor and get it out of me so that we can have our perfect wedding—a wedding not wasted on two people who don't appreciate weddings." Derek laughed as Bailey and I walked behind the monitors to watch Izzie's brain waves.
"I can hear you." Derek chuckled.
"I know you can hear me. I mean for you to hear me." Izzie cleared her throat as she settled back into her chair. "What if I can't make him appear?"
"We'll wait until he appears." I told her, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Derek has to be at the church in two hours. It could take more than two hours."
"I'll be late." Derek told her, his eyes never leaving the screen.
"No. No being late. I'll make him appear. I can do this." We sat there in silence; the only sound was Izzie whispering to herself. "Come on, Denny. Come on, Denny. Come on. Come on, Denny. Come on. All the times I didn't ask for you, and you were here. Now I'm asking. Please. Please. Come to me now. Please help me now. Come on. Come on, Denny. Just—you come to me now. Denny. Denny!" The bottom half wavelengths became erratic and swirled across the screen.
"There." Izzie looked over at us and nodded indicating that she was seeing Denny right now. "It's right there." Izzie sighed in relief and her shoulder drooped.
GA
"These the results of the tesla seven MRI?" I asked Derek, walking up to Bailey and him who were both looking at the scans. I looked them over and noticed a very tiny, teeny white dot in the right temporal lobe. It was the size of the tip of a pencil.
"Yeah." Derek mumbled. "You know that part of the brain that reacted during the hallucination?"
"Yeah."
"It was the other temporal lobe." I pointed to the white dot. "That… that's the tumor?"
"Yeah. Tiny. Too small to pick up on a normal MRI but…"
"O-okay, if it's that small, how are you gonna get to it?" When Derek didn't answer me, I turned to look at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Dr. Shepherd?" He didn't answer. "How are you gonna get to it." No answer.
"I wish there were something I could do for her. I wish I could…" My mouth fell open as I stumbled around my words.
"You're telling me you can't get it? That better not be what you're telling me, Dr. Shepherd."
"I like Stevens, Dr. Wolfe. She's one of the good ones. I wish there were something I could do for her." I grabbed the sides of my head with both hands as I swallowed hard.
"You're telling me that she's going to die?"
"I'm sorry. I wish there were something I could for her."
"I, um… I know something you can do." Bailey said and Derek and I turned to her to listen to what she had to say.
GA
Bailey and I stood in the doorway of Izzie's room as she sat on the edge of her bed, trying to get ready but she was exhausted and weak from her recent I.L.-2 treatment. I took a step out of the room and looked up and down the hallway, wondering which way she was going to come from. Bailey was wearing a striking, bright warm dress. It was dappled and splattered with warm colors of white and orange and yellow and strawberry blonde red and pink and splashes of peach. I was wearing a flowing lilac dress, its skirts rippling around my legs with every movement that I made. A silver and pearl crusted belt hung around my waist matching the night blooming silver flowers that were embroidered on the side, climbing from the hem of the dress and up my thighs and a few more twined down the folds at my shoulder. I had on silver flats and my half up hair was had curled strands that had been left down. Soft and supple curls that brought out the gold in my hair.
"My shoes are, uh, in the closet there." I heard Izzie say from her bed but Bailey nor I acknowledged her. "Bailey? Mayzie?"
"Um, shoes, right." Bailey muttered absently to her. "You're supposed to be helping me… get ready. I can still go, right? I mean, the tumor's not going anywhere, so…"
"Yeah, you can go." I told her still looking up and down the hallway.
"Okay, well… we don't want to be late. Bailey—"
"There she is!" Meredith came running down the hallway as fast as she could her golden blonde hair up in curlers as she rushed into the room with her wedding dress in her arms. Izzie's jaw dropped in annoyance and shock as she looked Meredith over.
"Mer! You're supposed to be at the church."
"I'm going." Meredith reassured her. "I just came to say, this isn't my dress." Bailey and I smiled at Izzie who looked dumbfounded.
"Of course, it's your dress. It's perfect. It… what are you talking about?"
"Izzie, it's not her wedding dress." I tried to steer Izzie in the direction of our plan, but she wasn't grasping it. It was a true blonde moment for her.
"This dress is not for me." Meredith repeated.
"I don't… what?" Izzie said in confusion. "Oh, God. I knew you were gonna freak out before the wedding. Mer… Derek loves you. Marriage is good." Izzie looked to Bailey. "Tell her it's good."
"No, Izzie, you're not listening." I prompted firmly. "She's saying… it's not her wedding dress." Alex walked into the room, dressed in his black suit and Izzie looked over at him.
"She's right." Alex said nervously. "The dress isn't for Meredith." We all looked at Izzie smiling and slowly, so slowly, she finally began to realize what we were saying.
GA
"Oh, Mer, I don't… I-I don't even know how to… I… thank you." Izzie's voice broke as she stammered over her words. I gently removed her IV as Cristina fluffed out the wedding dress. Meredith stood in front of her and smiled down at her friend.
"Okay, so, who's the maid of honor, Mayzie, me or Cristina?" Meredith inquired.
"Cristina. Alex—he needs a best and he was asking for you, so…" We all laughed as I pretended to look offended.
"Oh, so what, I'm—I'm leftovers?" I chuckled, splaying my hands out in front of me.
"Cristina tried to save my life. That makes her honorable." Cristina gazed down at Izzie and looked like she was about to cry. The music started on the other side of the wooden doors and we said our goodbyes to Izzie as we went through the side doors of the church to take our places. I swiftly weaved my way through the pews to taking my spot next to Mark who was wearing a grey suit with a blue dress shirt and a matching tie and dress pants. He smiled brightly at me. The doors opened and Izzie appeared, stunning and elegant, her blonde hair in curls and swirls with pinned flowers. We all stood and faced her as she slowly and unsteadily begun her walk down the aisle to Alex at the other end. She took eleven steps and her smile began to fade and face became pale. She twenty-one steps and she staggered, losing her balance and her hand shot out to grab a pew to support herself as she panted. George walked out of his aisle from the other side and walked to her and I weaseled my way past Mark and grabbed Izzie by her left elbow and together we supported her the rest of the way down the aisle to Alex. We helped her up the steps and she hands her flowers off to Cristina before she took Alex's hand. George and I silently and swiftly made our ways back to our seats.
"We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Alexander Michael Karev and Isobel Catherine Stevens." The officiant's voice rang throughout the entire church. "This is a sacred rite, an ancient rite as Isobel and Alex prepare to join their lives, it is important to understand everyone present has played a part in shaping their lives and will continue to play a vital role in their continuing future and thus, we are here not only to witness their vows to each other, but to bestow upon them our blessing. And now the couple will read their vows."
"Uh, we didn't write anything." Izzie started to say but Alex interrupted her.
"No, wait." He said. "I have something I want to say. Today's the day my life begins. All my life, I've been just me—just a smart-mouth kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable for someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you, to our future, to all the possibilities that our marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I'll be ready… for anything… for everything… to take on life, to take on love, to take on possibility and responsibility. Today, Izzie Stevens, our life together begins and I, for one, can't wait. I love you." Izzie smiled brightly and leaned into kiss Alex, but the officiant cleared his throat and they backed away from each other.
"Not yet." The officiant whispered.
"Hurry up." A low rumble of laughter echoed through the crowd.
"By the power vested in me by God and the state of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife."
"Now?" Izzie questioned him quietly, never taking her eyes off Alex.
"Now." It was like there was a magnet between the two of them as their lips instantly locked, sealing the deal. The church was deafening as wave after wave of thunderous claps reverberated off the walls. Mark looked over at me and smiled and I returned it as my palms stung from my clapping. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his and my smile grew as I nuzzled his cheek with my nose and closed my eyes, reveling in the blissful moment. I wish I could have frozen the moment. It was perfect. The protective arm around me and the warm smile he gave me was genuine and authentic. I opened my eyes to see Izzie and Alex finally part and Alex helped her down the steps and back down the aisle as we all stood in respect to send them on their way. I sent a silent prayer, hoping that it would be me walking down the aisle one day.