AN: Content Warning: This work contains references to psychological/physical abuse throughout (nothing graphic), brief mentions of self-harm/suicidal thoughts, and spoilers for all of P5 (not P5R, as I wrote most of this in like 2017/2018 before the updated game came out)

This is an idea that I've had for like over two years lmao, and I'm really excited to finally share with others! This is basically an AU where Akechi is a leader and founding member of the Phantom Thieves, which formed 2 years earlier than in Persona 5 (so the fic starts in 2014 rather than 2016). It's different from a rewrite of Persona 5 with Akira and Akechi's places swapped; one of my main goals in writing this has been to never throw Akira or any other character under the bus for the sake of Akechi's character development, so Akira will join normally rather than being the person behind the mental shutdowns. Also, certain characters who died during/before the game will be alive in this fic, which will change many details and arcs significantly (read on to find out who!). Also, I designed 3 new Palaces just for this fic! Most decisions have been made for specific reasons and will generally be explained in the story itself, but if you have questions, feel free to ask (or point out typos). There are definitely gonna be at least a few plot holes/dropped narrative threads, as this is a very complicated game and I am only one person with no editor!

I know the pairing is unusual, but I think the parallels between Yusuke and Akechi are really interesting, and I wanted to explore how a friendship between them would develop if they met at younger ages. If you're a bit skeptical about it, I hope their relationship development is compelling enough to change your mind! If you're already a fan of akekita, I hope this makes you happy!

The story has been up on AO3 for about half a year, and I'm posting for the good folks on who don't use AO3. I tried a bit of a different writing style for prologue since it's from lil baby Goro's perspective! I hope you enjoy!

May 4, 2003

At four years old, Goro Akechi was, in the eyes of the law, an orphan. His mom was gone, and he never had a dad, so he moved into a home with other abandoned children. The atmosphere there was never really that different from his old home; the stricken expressions of others, the slumped shoulders, and the muffled cries he heard at night felt familiar. It wasn't comfortable, exactly, but it made the transition a bit less jarring.

The adults that he met there were very different, though. His mom was sad and tired most of the time, but these women were always busy, with angry brows and clenched jaws and worried eyes. He tried to stay out of their way. And out of the way of the older kids. Out of everyone's way, really.

That was why, after several weeks of being here, Goro could count the number of times he had talked to other people on both of his hands. He sometimes noticed other kids going into the office on the first floor, but no one had ever invited him there. Once, he tried waiting outside the door and asking one of the other orphans what they had talked about inside, but one of the ladies came out first and told him to go back to his room.

After that, he got very good at eavesdropping.

Today, he sat on the floor of the common room and pretended to read as he listened in on several conversations. The orphans in the room were talking quietly about the usual topics: difficulties in school, hope of finding a family, fear of punishment. He placed himself close to the door to overhear two women talking in the hallway.

"Is everything ready for the new arrival? He's coming in later today."

"Yeah, that's the boy who's just staying for a couple weeks, right?" Goro had to strain a bit to hear the second woman. "I couldn't find any clean bedding for him."

A sigh. "We really can't afford another set. We'll figure something else out."

"I feel bad... I mean, does any of this matter? Is anyone really going to adopt any of these kids? The last few meetings with prospective parents haven't been promising."

"They haven't," the first woman agreed, "but this new kid should at least be out soon. He's just staying temporarily until the person interested in adopting him sorts out all the paperwork. If he adjusts well to that placement, it could reflect well on us."

The other woman sighed, as well. "I guess, but I haven't been feeling very optimistic about the future lately. It feels like there's no point in trying when there's almost no chance of these kids living a normal life."

The first woman hummed in agreement, and they continued their conversation at a lower volume. It seemed cruel to talk about this sort of thing within earshot of the children, but neither of the women seemed to care. Goro could almost empathize; he also felt himself losing hope, and he hadn't been here nearly as long as the other kids or the adults taking care of them. The new kid was lucky because he had a way out. It was a much better chance than Goro had.

He didn't listen in on anyone else for the rest of the morning.

He was still in the common room with a book when another child was escorted into the room. The head of the house gave the same direction that she had given Goro upon his arrival here, and Goro tuned out her words in favor of examining the new arrival. The boy looked about his age and wore the same outfit that all the other boys at the home wore: slacks, polished shoes, a collared shirt, and a sweater vest. Thinking back to the conversation he heard earlier, Goro guessed that a lot of the home's money went into its uniforms. He had learned early on that looking polished was very important to adults.

Besides the outfit, the hair stuck out the most; it was slicked back and the color of deep water. Akechi patted his dull brown hair, which the head of the house had recently cut very short. Long hair was not respectable on boys, it seemed. The new kid's locks brushed his ears, so he would probably have to get it cut, too.

Or maybe not, since he was leaving in a few weeks, anyway. Whoever was about to adopt him might not care if his hair was a bit long or his expression a bit too confused, too clueless.

"Dinner will be served in half an hour," the head of house concluded. "You may use this room quietly until then."

"Thank you," the boy said. He bowed to the woman in charge, who nodded and strode back to her office. From his spot against the wall, Goro waved and smiled hesitantly. The boy's confused expression remained, but he walked over and introduced himself as Yusuke.

"I'm Goro." He extended a hand. "I've been here for a little while. I heard that someone else will take care of you soon?"

"Yes," Yusuke said. He stared at Goro's hand and clasped it without shaking. "How old are you?"

"I'll be five soon."

"Oh."

Goro smiled again. "And you?"

"Three."

There were a few babies here, but Yusuke's age still put him in one of the youngest categories. Even if he was leaving soon and Goro wasn't, Goro still wanted to help him. "Do you want to look at this book with me?"

Yusuke nodded and slid down the wall to sit. They spent some time looking at pictures together, and Yusuke occasionally put his hand on the paper to keep Goro from turning the page. He especially seemed to like tracing his fingers over the bright colors.

After some time spent in quiet companionship, the dinner bell rang and Goro started to close the book. Yusuke once again put his hand between the pages, and Goro paused. "It's time for dinner. We should go."

Yusuke shook his head and pointed at the cover with his free hand. "I want to keep looking."

"We don't have a lot of snacks here," Goro said, gently removing Yusuke's hand from the pages. "It's important to eat when you can."

Yusuke frowned and stared at the book with teary eyes, but he allowed Goro to lead him to dinner.

May 7, 2003

"Do you like the Feathermen?"

Yusuke looked up slowly from his spot on the floor, blinked at Goro, and nodded. He held up the blue action figure in his hand to demonstrate.

Goro smiled and sat next to his friend. "Blue Swan is nice," he said, "but my favorite is Red Hawk!" He poked at the toy's stiff plastic cape as he tried to remember the episodes he'd seen. "He's so cool. He always knows what to do, even when there are so many bad guys, and he gives these really cool speeches-"

"Hey, can you quiet down over there?" One of the older kids turned from the TV to glare at Goro and Yusuke. "We're trying to watch."

"Sorry," Goro muttered. He looked to Yusuke with a sigh. "They never let me watch it here. I have to wake up before everybody else on Sundays to see it."

Yusuke clutched the Blue Swan figure to his chest and looked over at the group by the TV. "Why don't they wanna watch it?"

"They like boring stuff," Goro said, "and the ladies want us to watch educational shows, anyway." He leaned in with a small smile. "They let me watch cartoons on the weekends, though."

Yusuke looked back to Goro with wide eyes. "I wanna watch with you!"

Goro's smile grew, and he nodded. "It's on at six on Sundays. We have to wake up real early and sneak down here so we don't wake up the other kids."

Yusuke nodded back, looking very somber. "I'll be real quiet." He mimed sneaking with his action figure, making Goro laugh under his breath.

"Where did you get that?" Goro asked. "I can't find a lot of toys around here."

"My momma got it." Yusuke's hands stopped moving, and he sniffed. "It's my favorite."

"I wish I had one," Goro said quickly. "Let's play, okay? I'll get some other toys." He moved to the shelf behind Yusuke and started taking down stuffed animals. "What if Blue Swan rides the elephant? That would be fun, right?"

Yusuke wiped at his eyes with a final sniff. He sat the figure atop a stuffed turtle and giggled.

Goro smiled and hugged the stuffed elephant to his chest.

May 25, 2003

"I heard you're leaving tomorrow."

Yusuke nodded, and Goro bit his lip to stop it from shaking. He fiddled with the corner of the paper he held. "You should write me a letter," he continued. "Tell your new dad to send it here."

Yusuke took the paper, eyes squinting as he tried to read the words. Goro's sadness lifted for a moment; he was proud of himself for getting that address, for taking a piece of mail without anyone noticing and copying the complicated characters. "Okay," Yusuke finally said.

That night, they shared a threadbare blanket in one of the crowded bedrooms. Goro didn't sleep well.

June 2, 2003

Yusuke had said he would write to him soon, but it was Goro's birthday and there was still no letter. No one had the money or energy to do something special for him on his fifth birthday. He got an extra snack before dinner, but he didn't really feel like eating.

After dinner, he asked one of the women for Yusuke's address. She frowned and said, "We can't tell you that. Yusuke is with his new family now, and he doesn't need you to contact him."

Goro didn't think that was true, but he knew better than to talk back. He bowed his head and returned to the common room to find the first book that they looked at together. He curled up by the wall and squinted his eyes as he tried to see the pictures the way Yusuke would see them.

That night, after most of the workers went home, Goro made his way downstairs, crawling on all fours so the floor wouldn't creak. The door to the main office was locked, but he sneaked outside and crawled in through a window; the house didn't have screens, which, outside of this case, he resented. He fell inside, dusted himself off, and opened the first filing cabinet he found. He shuffled through the papers but couldn't read any of the names. Goro squinted against the darkness as he searched for the characters he knew were Yusuke's, feeling his heart beat faster, fearing what would happen if someone found him—

There. He found a familiar set of characters and pulled the file out, then searched the desk for a piece of paper. Hand shaking, he copied down all the information as best as he could. It seemed to take an eternity in that small, dark room, with only the sounds of his breath and his heart filling his ears, but he completed the task without interruption and returned everything to its place. He pocketed an envelope and stamp he found in one of the drawers and crept back to the window. Once back outside, he started towards the front door but realized that he had left the window open. Heart rate speeding back up, Goro searched for a way to boost himself up so he could close the window, but he couldn't find anything; he was barely tall enough to open the window and squeeze through in the first place, let alone reach the windowsill and pull it shut.

His hands trembled, and he clutched his paper closer to his chest. They might not know it was him, but someone would pay for it in the morning. Probably everyone.

He tried to reassure himself; maybe they would just think it was a robber, or that someone had forgotten to shut the window before they left for the day. Neither possibility seemed likely, though.

Goro shook his head. It was worth it to send a message to his friend. He took in a deep breath and sneaked back upstairs, composing a letter in his mind.

June 3, 2003

Yusuke,

I miss you. I hope you are happy in your new house. Please write back.

Goro Akechi

Goro knew that the words weren't enough, and Yusuke might not even be able to read them, but maybe his new dad could. At the bottom of the letter, he drew a picture of Red Hawk and Blue Swan holding hands.

On their morning walk to school, he slipped the letter into a neighbor's mailbox to send it out, feverishly worrying if he had copied the correct information onto the envelope so it would reach Yusuke. He allowed himself to hope.

June 13, 2003

Yusuke splayed his hands on the living room table as Madarame went through their mail. "Sensei, did Goro write back yet?"

"It doesn't seem so," Madarame said. He offered Yusuke a sympathetic smile and added, "I'm sure he's focusing on learning new things. It's important that you do the same."

Yusuke clenched his fists against the splintered wood and sniffed. "But I thought we were friends. Why doesn't he like me?"

"As I said, he must be busy. If you also keep yourself busy, you will not waste time thinking about such things." Madarame stood and organized the envelopes into a pile. It hurt Yusuke to know that none of those envelopes were for him, and he started to cry. Madarame sighed and stooped down. "The life of an artist can be solitary at times. I'm sorry that you're upset, but it's better that you learn this lesson now. You must prioritize what is most important—your creativity, your art. Do you understand?"

Yusuke didn't understand at all, but Madarame was giving him a very serious look. He nodded and wiped his eyes.

July 1, 2003

In the past month, Goro had been using the characters of Yusuke's name to practice his writing, but it made him feel sicker every time he did it.

Yusuke Kitagawa, who had clung to Goro for support but abandoned him completely.

Yusuke Kitagawa, who had a safe, loving home.

Yusuke Kitagawa, who had the chance Goro might never get.

He engrained the name into his memory so he wouldn't have to write it down anymore.