Feast of Love

"Tonight will go fine. Everyone will have a good time. It will be a success." Miranda put her hands on her hips and inhaled deeply. She looked into the mirror located on the back of Ben's closet door. She was dressed in a white and black horizontally striped dress. Her hair was done, she'd curled it. Which had taken longer than she expected, but it'd been worth it; it made her look less like Bailey and more like Miranda. Her makeup was finished and her jewelry was on. There were no shoes on her feet, but she was nearly ready and she looked good. Miranda repeated the three phrases: "Tonight will go fine. Everyone will have a good time. It will be a success."

"Miranda?"

She turned around and blushed at the sight of her boyfriend. He was naked and damp except for a towel hanging loosely around his waist. "Yeah?"

"Who… who are you talking to?" He asked curiously.

"I'm talking to the Miranda in the mirror." Ben nodded slowly. "I'm doing affirmations. If I speak it into existence—"

"Then it'll come to pass," Ben finished. She nodded. "I get it."

Miranda mouthed the phrases again in the mirror while subtly watching her boyfriend's reflection get dressed. "The dinner is in an hour and I am so nervous."

"Don't be," Ben said coming up behind her. He'd put a burgundy shirt and a pair of black pants and black shoes. "I promise you—"

Miranda chuckled. "You can't promise me anything about tonight."

He wrapped his arms around her and put his chin on her shoulder; his eyes locked with hers in the mirror. "I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure this night goes perfectly."

She scoffed sarcastically. "Like everyone will still be talking to me and each other after it or what?"

She faced him. "There will be no casualties at this dinner. And everyone loves you." He turned her back around and they looked into the mirror again. They really were a good-looking couple. She smiled and he kissed her neck. "We look good," he said winking at her. "You look good, sweetheart."

"I know!" She said grinning.

There was a knock on Ben's front door. Miranda took another breath and looked at Ben in the mirror. "Tonight will go fine. Everyone will have a good time. It will be a success," they said together. He kissed her cheek and walked to the front to answer the door.

While putting on her shoes, Miranda could hear her best friend's voice. "Torres," Ben said.

"Warren," Callie responded. "Where is she?"

"In the back."

Callie came into the room dressed in a navy blue jumper with sand-colored shoes. "You look good, Torres," Miranda said.

"You know you do," Callie told her closing the door.

Callie was quiet with a goofy look on her face. "What's up?" Miranda asked narrowing her eyes at her best friend. "C'mon, spit it out."

"Arizona's not coming and neither is Derek." Miranda rolled her eyes. "They were both pulled into emergency surgery. A kid with spinal fractures and renal artery thrombosis."

Miranda nodded. "A child's life needs saving."

"Is that okay?"

"Well, it's going to have to be, isn't it?" Miranda looked at her friend.

Callie shrugged. "Your phone is buzzing."

Miranda picked it up and groaned. It was Alex. "Karev. What is it?"

"Hey, Bailey," he sighed into her ear. "I know I told Pierce that I was coming to the party or whatever, but Jo isn't so happy about it." Miranda looked at Callie and shook her head. "I told her that we're just friends, but she doesn't get it."

"Karev, the Preamble to the Constitution is shorter than your speech right now. Is there a question or a point? Are you coming to the dinner?"

"I don't know. I want to. Er, Pierce invited me. And I'm supposed to pick up Mer. But—"

Miranda had to stop her former intern. She checked the time. "Alex Karev, you had better be at this apartment in the next twenty minutes with Meredith Grey in tow. And if your little girlfriend has a problem with it, tell her to talk to me!"

"Yes, ma'am. I'll be there," Alex answered and they disconnected the call.

The general surgeon blew out air. "That was Karev. He was pondering the difficult decision between keeping his word and appeasing Jo Wilson. Because she doesn't understand his friendship with Pierce." She threw her phone on the bed.

Callie rolled her eyes and laughed. "Karev." They were quiet for a while. Miranda fixed her dress and caught Callie staring at her. "What now, Torres?"

"You were throwing up." Miranda didn't respond. "In the bathroom last night. You… you were throwing up. I heard you." Miranda waved her off. "No, seriously. What's up?"

Miranda sighed. "I… I haven't been feeling all that well lately. Haven't been sleeping that well," Miranda told her. Callie nodded and Miranda exhaled. "And Tuck's sick and I think I might have what he has or something. Look, Torres, it was nothing."

Callie threw her hands up. "Okay. Okay. Well, I hope you feel better."

"I know I will once this dinner is over with."

"I'll bet." Callie chuckled.

Miranda finished putting on her shoes. "What if the evening starts to deteriorate?" She asked.

"Umm, well," Callie started. She clapped her hands loudly. "If the evening starts to go south, then we'll make fun of Alex. And tell the story of the Heart in the Elevator Guy."

Miranda smiled and shook her head. "That's just wrong, Torres."

"It is. So let's just hope and pray that it goes well." They laughed. And Miranda was finally starting to feel better about the dinner. "I'm going to help Warren in the kitchen."

As she started to walk away, Miranda touched her arm. "Don't mention it to Ben, okay? I don't want to get him worried." Miranda hoped that she wouldn't have to say what exactly she was talking about.

Callie looked at her friend. "Okay. I won't."

She walked out of the room and Miranda stared at herself in the mirror again. Her shoes were on and now she was finally ready. She turned to walk out of the room and Ben burst into the room. "Hey, baby. People are here."

"Who? People are on time?" She said looking at him and checking her watch.

He chuckled. "Pierce has been here for ten minutes already." He leaned towards the door. "And for the sound of it, Grey and Karev just got here."

"Okay, good. I'm coming out."

"You're okay?" Ben asked her raising an eyebrow. She smiled and nodded. He slipped inside of the room and took her hand. "Well, if you're alright. Then, no more stalling."

She laughed. "Ugh. Okay. Let's go, I guess."

They walked hand in hand to the front of the apartment. Everyone had arrived and Miranda greeted them while soft music played in the background. Karev and The Chief were talking next the kitchen island. Callie was in the kitchen helping Ben. And Meredith was alone by the large window. Maggie was sitting by herself on the sofa drinking something from a cup. Oh, God, Miranda thought. Had she reminded Ben about the alcohol? If she hadn't, it would be a disaster. And it was too soon in the night for disasters. She really hoped that she had. But even if she didn't, she knew that he would remember. He was that kind of guy. Miranda closed her eyes and started for Maggie. "Pierce."

"Bailey! Hi! I'm glad you finally came out. I'm just sitting here all by myself. And she's over there by herself and he's over there with Karev, who's looking really good tonight."

"You do know he has a girlfriend, right?" Miranda asked.

"I know. He told me, but I can say that he looks good, right? That's not inappropriate, is it?" Miranda inhaled and started to speak, but Maggie kept talking. "Well, anyway, I don't know if I should go over there or over there… I don't know. Like I'm just—"

Miranda put up a hand to stop her rambling. "Okay. It's—"

Miranda was cut off by Meredith approaching. "Pierce," Meredith said.

"Gr-Grey?"

"How about we just rip the awkward band-aid off?"

"Okaaay?" Maggie said standing up. Miranda looked from the brown-skinned Maggie to the pale-skinned Meredith, for all of their seemingly obvious differences, they looked alike in the eyes and they were about the same height.

"I know and you know and everyone knows that my mother was your biological mother." Maggie nodded and looked around nervously. "And that man over there," Meredith continued. She pointed at Richard and he gritted his teeth. "Has been the best father I've ever known." Miranda smiled as Meredith paused and glanced around the room. The other two conversations had come to a halt. "And we're all family. Or so my husband tells me." Laughter scattered across the room. "He's really into family and the building relationships thing. And I—well, I had Ellis Grey for a mother so I didn't know the first thing about family. Until I met these people." Her eyes were getting red. "But now I know. I know what it means to have friends and family. I know what it's like to have people," she said looking at Alex who blushed. "And I'm learning that I could always use some more." A slow smile crept across Maggie's face.

Alex spoke up: "With that being said. Warren, is dinner ready? Because I am hungry."

Ben nodded. "Yes! Everyone can have a seat. Baby, can you help me in the kitchen?" Miranda smiled at both Maggie and Meredith and headed to the kitchen.

"Everything smells really good," The Chief said. "Warren, did you do most of the cooking? Because I know—"

"What you know is that the food will be delicious," Miranda interjected.

"No, what I know is that every time you invite me to a dinner party, your boyfriend is cooking," The Chief said making the entire table laugh.

"Oh, so now you're coming for me?" She responded with a laugh of her own. He shrugged and started a conversation with the rest of the table. Miranda turned her attention back to the food. "You are amazing," she said over her shoulder to Ben who was scooping the mashed potatoes into a bowl behind her.

"I know," he said and they took the food to the table. When everything was settled. Ben pulled out Miranda's chair, the head of the table, and walked around the table to the last empty seat. Richard sat to Miranda's right and Alex next to him. Then Meredith. Ben sat across directly across from Miranda. Then Maggie then Callie. If Derek and Arizona had been there, they would have needed the table extender, but with the seven of them, they fit perfectly.

"Shall we pray?" Miranda asked and everyone joined hands. To be honest, Miranda expected a disaster. She just knew that there would be several awkward lulls in the conversation, points during the dinner where she'd pray to God for a small earthquake just so things wouldn't be boring. And if no awkwardness, then a few heated conversations, ones that she'd try to defuse, but end up getting pulled into with people looking for her to choose a side. But halfway into the meal, Miranda looked around and saw nothing of the sort. Nothing like what she was expecting or preparing for. Everyone was having a good time. "Anyone want some more tea? Or chicken? Or anything else?" She started to get up from the table.

"Yeah, some more of that chicken, please. It's good," Alex said.

"Thanks, bro," Ben said and they reached across Meredith and slapped hands.

"What? Is Jo not feeding you anymore?" Meredith asked with a laugh. She took a bite of her food. Miranda looked at Alex who was looking at Maggie who was staring into her own plate. Meredith looked around. "What? What did I miss?"

"Nothing," Maggie and Alex said at the same time.

"Right. Where's the, uh, restroom?" The Chief asked, deftly changing the subject.

"It's down the hall, Chief," Ben said pointing towards the bathroom.

When Richard came back to the table, Alex turned to him. "So, Chief, I know this might be an awkward question, but Ellis didn't tell you about the baby, er, Maggie?" He asked wiping his hands on a napkin.

The entire room froze. Miranda looked around at the bewildered faces. She knew the answer, remembering the conversation she'd had with her mentor in the hospital basement. But it was a question on everyone's mind and no one, no except Alex Karev, had the balls to ask it. Miranda held her breath and decided whether or not she should jump in or stay out of it. She felt Ben's eyes on her. She shrugged her shoulders and waited. Callie was staring at her and begging her to say something. Miranda opened her mouth to change the subject, but The Chief spoke. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. Mistakes with my marriage, my friendships, even mistakes in surgery, but none have been as painful as knowing that I had a biological daughter that I… never got a chance to know." Maggie opened her mouth to respond, but he kept going: "I say 'biological' because although they're not my daughters by law, I think of Meredith and Miranda," he said gesturing to them respectively. "I think of them as my daughters." Everyone seemed to exhale at the same time. "And I know you probably have a great family back in Boston. They were p robably very nice people who loved you very much, but I want you to know that I loved you, too."

Miranda felt her heart burst. Maggie had a hand on her chest and Meredith had her elbows, her hands locked underneath her chin. Alex had his hand on the back on her chair. Ben looked from The Chief to Miranda. He smiled and winked at her. Everyone looked at Maggie, waiting for her response. "Um, thank you. Knowing that you care means a lot. And, I have a dad, so I don't want you to worry about trying to be a father to me. I have one." Miranda watched as The Chief's shoulders stooped a little. "But I would really love it if you could be my friend and my mentor like you've been to Bailey and Grey." Smiles broke out across the table and Miranda let go of the breath that she didn't know she was holding.

"Aye, Bailey, about that chicken?" Callie asked quickly trying to steer the conversation in the right direction.

Miranda nodded. "Yeah, baby, let me help you with that," Ben said sliding away from the table.

In the kitchen, Bailey readied the chicken while Ben moved with her, touching her inconspicuously and not helping her at all. "Ben, stop," she said smiling.

"Okay," he responded reaching around her and grabbing the bowl. He kissed her neck, turning her on and making her weak. She couldn't wait for their company to leave. She saw a very passionate night in their future.

"Ben," Miranda whined softly. "We have guests. We are not alone."

He kissed the other side of her neck and she fumbled the fork she had in her hand. His body was pressed up against hers. "No one is paying us any attention," he said in her ear, his breath shocking her entire body.

"Except me," The Chief said smiling. He strolled to the freezer. Ben cleared his throat and took the chicken to the table.

"Ch-Chief," she said looking around.

"I don't know about everyone else, but I'm ready for dessert. I brought some pie and I heard there was banana pudding?" He asked his face lighting up.

Miranda smiled and nodded. "How do you think it's going?

"It's going well. I'm hoping that we'll get a chance to talk without you guys around, at some point, maybe at the hospital. But, uh, this is a good platform, a great platform to jumpstart our relationship, I think. And thanks."

She smiled and nodded again. She was glad that he was happy and that she'd succeeded. "I'm sure you two will." The Chief pulled out the ice cream. "So where does your wife think you are?

He grinned and chuckled loudly. "Adele thinks that I'm at the hospital. And you know that caused a fight."

"You left home after a fight, sir?" Miranda asked. He nodded. "Chief, I…," her voice trailed off.

"Don't worry about it. It will be okay. I will tell Adele about Maggie and then she'll have something else to be mad at me about."

Miranda laughed. "I'll help you with dessert," she said while grabbing the banana pudding.

"So, Pierce, are you dating anyone?" Meredith asked.

Maggie shook her head. "No. I was back in Boston, but we ended things."

"Oh."

"It was for the best anyway. I needed to focus on my career. And now I'm able to do just that," she said looking at Alex and giving him a slight smile.

Alex's face turned red. "Err, well, I have an early day tomorrow," he said nervously. He got up from the table and turned to his best friend. "Mer, are you ready?"

"Yeah. Okay. Sure. You're ready to go?" Meredith said. "Wait, just one more bite. This pie is amazing, Bailey. What store did you get it from? Derek and the kids would love this."

"Actually, the Chief made it. He bakes. He baked the pie," Miranda said looking at The Chief who was blushing.

"You made the pie!?" Maggie and Alex said at the same time.

"Wow," Meredith said, nodding in approval and taking another bite of her pie.

"Yeah, yeah, I did. Don't make a big deal out of it. It's just a hobby." Everyone commented on how good it was. Miranda sat back and smiled. She looked around and was finally pleased that everything was great, perfect even. She turned her attention back to her mentor. "I was going to do cherry," he said. Maggie and Miranda scrunched up their faces. "But then I figured apple would be best." Everyone nodded.

"You must sell these. So how much do you charge?" Maggie asked taking a sip of her drink.

"I don't. But, if I did, I… uh, wouldn't charge you anyway," The Chief told her. "I just love to bake."

Maggie gave him a smile as Callie's phone went off. "Oh, guys, damn, sorry, but I have to get going. It's past my curfew."

"I'll walk you out, Torres," Ben said. He blew a small kiss at Miranda and her cheeks reddened. She'd gotten lucky and picked a real gentleman. Ben always showed his love for her and he wasn't flashy about it, saying one thing and doing another. He was genuine. And he always did the small things that people thought didn't matter, but they were actually a big deal.

"I had a great time, people. Miranda, call me," Callie said and she was gone.

Alex looked at Meredith and raised his eyebrow. "Hey, I rode with you. So whenever you're ready. I'm ready," she told him. Alex looked at Maggie and gave her a half-smile and sat back down. Miranda seemed to be the only one who noticed the relief that spread across Maggie's face.

When Ben came back, they all moved to the living room and talked some more while drinking coffee and tea. After the conversations wrapped up, Meredith, Alex, Maggie and the Chief left, all saying that they had a good time and that they should do it again. Ben walked them all out. When he came back into the apartment, Miranda had cleared off most of the table and piled all of the dishes into the sink and onto the surrounding counter. "I'll get those in the morning," he said walking up to her, kissing the side of her head.

Miranda had taken off her shoes and turned the music back on. "No need to wait until the morning. I'll do them. You've done enough."

"Okay. Well, I'm not going to argue with you there," he said with a laugh. Miranda laughed too. "I told you it would go well."

"You did," she admitted.

"Yeah and did you believe me?"

"Not until right this moment, no."

Ben looked at his girlfriend who'd started putting the dishes into the dishwasher. She was swaying to the music. "You look beautiful, sweetheart."

"Thank you," she gushed.

"Not a problem," Ben said slowly.

"I love that red shirt, baby," Miranda told him turning her head a little bit. She heard him chuckle. "Grab the rest of those dishes off of the table, please." Her phone went off in the bedroom. "And can you handle these while I get my phone? I'll be right back." He said he would as he stood behind her, putting his hands on her stomach, holding her tightly. Miranda reached back and touched his head, running her hand down to his neck and to his face. Her heart was pounding; she wanted him with everything she had in her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and turned her around, pulling her in for a deep kiss. She slung her arms around his neck, bringing their bodies closer together. Her hands stroked his hair. "Thank you so much. For everything." She kissed him again before wiping her hands on a towel and going to get her phone.

She'd missed a call from her cousin, Ari; she could call her back later. And there was a notification from an app on her phone called "Pink Pad." She used it to track her cycle. Every month, Miranda marked the day she started her period and the day it ended. With her busy schedule, it was very helpful for her because she could keep track of period and it reminded her to take her birth control pills. The app's notification said: Did you forget something? "What? What does that mean?" She said out loud. She opened the app and read the rest of the notification. Did you forget something? Hey Miranda, we noticed that you forgot to put the start and end date of your cycle this month. It should have showed up According to our data, it should have showed up two weeks. You can go to the settings to input this information. Best of Luck, The Pink Pad Team

Miranda put a hand to her head. She'd been using this app for nearly two years and this was the first time she'd gotten this message. She was usually on top of these things. "Oh, God." Miranda said softly. She sat on the edge of the bed. "Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no," she said quickly. Her mind was swirling. Every wall in Ben's bedroom seemed to closing in on her. She didn't want to think about it what missing a period could mean and she definitely couldn't say it out loud. She wondered if it was why she was sweating at night and why things seemed so off? Why she'd thrown up a few times? Miranda checked all of her calendars and tried to remember the last time she'd used a pad or a tampon. She couldn't. She felt sick and needed to lie down. She stood up and pulled off her dress, placing it on the chair in the corner of the room, revealing her grey and teal bra and panty set. She'd put it because she knew that Ben would love it, but she was no longer in the mood. She crawled into his bed without putting on the pajamas that she'd brought with her from her house. Miranda turned on her side, curling up into a ball. She needed that notification to be wrong.

"Miranda?" Ben asked coming into the room. "I finished the dishes. Smooth move. Leaving me in there so you could check on your phone. And I thought you said you would be right back. What I'm saying is that it's a good move and I will be using it on you." Ben laughed at his own joke and came over to the bed while unbuttoning his shirt, showing his white t-shirt. He unbuckled his pants and put them on the same chair that her dress was on. "Baby, you're okay?" He asked sitting on the bed next to her.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. I'm just… just tired. It's been a long two nights. That's it."She feigned a yawn that turned into a real one.

"Mmhmm," he said. Miranda kept her eyes closed as he got into the bed facing her. He put an arm under the cover and touched her nearly naked body. Ben smiled devilishly and looked under the covers. "Is this for me?" Miranda opened her eyes and grinned at the man in front of her. "Damn, you look good!" Miranda blushed as he licked his lips and put an arm around her, rubbing her back. "What's wrong? Did something happen tonight that I don't know about?" She shook her head. "Is Tuck alright? Your parents?" Miranda shook her head again. "Then what is it? Did I do something? Is it me?"

Miranda thought for a second. She closed her eyes and smiled to herself before saying: "No. It's not you. You're great."

"I'm going to pry until you tell me," he said pulling her into him; one of his hands moved slowly across her butt. He kissed her cheek.

Miranda opened her eyes and saw him looking at her, patiently waiting. He smiled. "I just haven't been feeling well, Ben. That's it."

"Really? Miranda. Wh-why didn't you tell me, baby? We could have postponed this dinner until you felt better." His concern comforted her.

"I know, but I kind of wanted to get it over with," she said giving him a weak smile. "It was probably my anxiousness from the dinner that was making me a little ill."

He nodded. "Do you want to take something?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Are you sick right now?"

"I am okay," she said. Maybe if she said it enough times, it would become true.

"Alright. Let's just get some rest," he said. He moved in and kissed her softly.

Miranda accepted his kiss and grabbed his face, intensifying the kiss. She moaned quietly. "I love you so much, Ben Warren."

"I love you, Miranda Bailey." She put her face into his chest, cuddling her body against his and fell asleep.