XIV
A rather big yawn meant it was getting late and it was time to put the phone away, switch the small night lamp off and continue the texting tomorrow. Despite that, the app simply wouldn't close. Lisa was blaming this on a fellow gyaru, who apparently was staying equally late and shared incredible news, revealing the finale of her date that day.
Satou asked Naru out and chose a pretty tried-and-true destination of a cinema. The movie was not a romance story, but rather an adventure one, which Lisa's friend from university actually liked. The two walked together all the way to Naru's home, and since both had a great day, they didn't really want to get separated.
That's when Satou mustered up the courage and confessed. Lisa was all bubbly, even though it was only a friend's story. Naru sent her so many emoji next that she knew her answer before it appeared on Lisa's phone. She shared the elation of her friend, although she was also a bit jealous.
It reminded her of a feeling she has come to terms with a while ago. Bassist wasn't sure when it happened and even thought that it could've developed gradually. Lisa recalled the first day spent at Harada's coffee with Yukina and the shopping afterwards, as well as the show in October, a little over a month ago.
Ultimately, it wasn't important when it happened, nor if it was a single instant of time. When she congratulated Naru on getting a boyfriend, her thoughts inadvertently escaped towards Roselia's vocalist. They were childhood friends, so they had the time to grow close or get accustomed to presence of one another.
Lisa, however, realized that image of Yukina flashed in her mind in the context of dating someone. For the past week she was pushing it away, then coming back and thinking again, and in the end had to admit to herself she was in love. She was recently getting flustered or nervous when Yukina was nearby far too often.
Lisa tried calling it admiration or being overly attached to a long-time friend. It had been working fine in the past, but that time it seemed like there was just one element too many to brush off that feeling. At first, she was scared. That fear remained present and Lisa doubted she will get rid of it easily.
Naru and Satou were likely walking on air, and it made her want to follow them, to say what she had been struggling to suppress. There was one little issue with it, and that was the fact she would be confessing to another woman. How would Yukina react? Would she be shocked?
These questions popped up as she decided to let her ideas flow. She obviously didn't want for their relations to become awkward if the vocalist rejected her. Naru finished her story by saying they called it a day after she accepted his confession, as neither wanted to rush the matters anyhow.
Instead, Satou asked her if they could go on another date next weekend, and she agreed. Lisa wrote back how it put her in a great mood and subconsciously added how she's envious. Naru replied with laughing and cheers, to which bassist sent a short smile in return. Lisa finally put the phone away, but found herself unable to sleep.
She started to weigh pros and cons of following through, and immediately doing just what she realized she is going to do anyway, at some point.
If I confessed to Yukina a few days after realizing I love her, my resolve would still be strong, and waiting could ruin the timing. On the other hand, it sort of feels like jumping the gun. Then again, with December just around the corner, it would be fantastic if she accepted what I feel…
Oh, I'm totally getting carried away, already thinking about Christmas. The reality is, let's face it, that Yukina might reject me for many reasons. Maybe she doesn't want any romance at all, or will be shocked that the confession came from me, who she rather considers a best friend. Aw, I'm not getting anywhere…
With her thoughts running in circles, Lisa began to worry about not getting a good rest, with the alarm clock set up to snatch her from sleep tomorrow morning. She kept wondering if it's possible, even if the chances are slim. Perhaps she could work out a plan that would be similar to that of Satou and invite Yukina to a movie. Before she could reach a conclusion, her tired mind gave in.
Seemingly the next instant, the sound of a well-known beeping woke her up as harshly as expected. Half-awake, Lisa managed to turn the alarm off on her second try, and considered it a nice accomplishment to start the day off with.
Going into the bathroom, she saw how every strand of hair was sticking in a different direction, and that made her wonder if she had enough time before leaving for lectures to fix it. After a quick shower, as there was no time for a bath, Lisa attempted to get herself to a more subdued gyaru-ish state, while pondering which movie to invite Yukina to.
Tomorrow is Thursday, maybe she'd have the time after uni? No, that's too sudden. What about the Friday, after our part-time jobs?
Asking herself and answering right away, Lisa's hands moved swiftly, making her wavy hair look neater with each stroke. Without further ado, she put on her staple earrings and accessories. She didn't want for her stomach to make embarrassing grumbles during the lecture, so she quickly heated up the leftover miso soup from the day before.
There was no time for a more complete meal, so Lisa already thought about getting a small snack on her way to the campus. She soon left, remembering to put on a coat, since the days were steadily getting colder. It was a simple, but elegant black coat, which she could also wear on chilly, windy days and not necessarily when it was freezing.
Thankfully, the campus was not too far away from her apartment, and she was able to get there in time. Once she was there, she recognized someone causing a bit of a ruckus. In the center of a small circle of people was Naru, loudly chatting with a few fellow students.
Mikuni was nearby, albeit looking like tired with the noise, and indeed, she promptly stepped away a little when she saw Lisa.
"Hi there, Mikuni. Are all of them talking about the latest huge news?" She was convinced, but it didn't hurt to ask.
"Hi, Lisa. Yes, it seems to me that Satou is the most attractive, most valiant boyfriend one could imagine." It was rare to hear Mikuni speak with a smirk like that.
"Ah, they only got together yesterday, let's cut them some slack. I know I'd probably be guilty of fawning over someone similarly, if I was confessed to." Lisa responded in a gleeful tone.
"I know, she looks like she's incredibly happy right now. We should wait some time to see how their relationship develops." Mikuni changed her voice, admitting she was jesting.
"By the way, Lisa, you seem to be pretty focused on some thought again. You're looking at Naru and the rest, but it's like you are elsewhere." Mikuni's ability to read people's emotions was a formidable trait in Lisa's view.
"I-I was just imagining the way it must've felt, is all. She'd texted me yesterday, right before going to bed and I ended up… chatting with her until I was too tired and fell asleep." Lisa admitted, smiling bashfully.
"Heey, Lisa, why didn't you say you were here!?" Naru noticed the two talking.
"Hi! Sorry, we already were hanging on Line yesterday, so I figured I'm already filled in." Lisa wanted to pull back and let Naru have her fun with bragging.
"Aw, but you didn't hear the details. His face was getting so red when he waited for my reaction. I totally didn't know he could be bashful like that!" Naru was apparently still hyper from what had happened.
Lisa was able to brush it off and pleaded she will listen to her, if there was another chance to chat during the day. Mikuni looked at her with an inquiring expression, but didn't say a word. The bassist suspected she sensed musician's uneasiness, but didn't want to ask further and make Lisa uncomfortable.
Later on, gyaru was able to keep her concentration once the lectures started, which she certainly didn't expect, given how she was scratching her head over a plan last night, instead of sleeping. Lisa couldn't even come to a conclusion whether it's ultimately a good idea to confess to Yukina right now.
The fear of losing what they have now fought with the hope for the future. Regardless of all this, Lisa simply asked herself again what a good movie to see together would be, trying to keep the turmoil in her heart at bay. There was a recent film about a classical musician, with good reviews after the first run.
The premise made one predict a rather sorrowful ending. However, the plot was said to be highly motivational, and to only use tragedy as a starting point to build a story. Lisa could imagine Yukina watching it, even if the concrete type of music featured was, quite possibly, more up Rinko's alley.
With her mind draining energy, trying to both follow the lectures and decide what to do with recent realizations, her focus declined. Naru pinched her arm at the end of the last presentation, as Lisa's eyes were getting sleepier and sleepier.
She jokingly excused herself with their last night talk, and fellow gyaru's rebuttal was that Lisa must've been staying up for even longer, which accidentally was true. Not that she was eager to admit it. After the university Naru suddenly became sulky, because she couldn't hang out with Mikuni and Lisa, having a shift at the café.
This time bassist was glad she had a day off herself, as rushing there in such a state could put some tableware at risk. Thanks to Natsu coming back to work, both of them had some much needed flexibility. Lisa was wondering if Satou was also going to be at Harada's, which immediately made Naru lose some of her cheekiness, ending up in all three laughing.
After the unfortunate event of one of them having to go to work, Mikuni asked if Lisa wanted to visit her home, possibly imagining gyaru cutting corners on preparing a proper meal.
"Are you sure, Mikuni? I might be a fun spoiler today. I'll help with the dinner, but don't be surprised if I just fall asleep in your room after that. Now that would be embarrassing!" Lisa didn't want to impose on her, so she exaggerated her condition slightly.
"It's fine. What I mean is… you don't have to help with preparations, you will be my guest." Mikuni's brown eyes showed concern.
"I just thought about inviting you to my place, since I haven't come up with where we could go today." She appeared bashful, not used to taking initiative.
"You're such a good and thoughtful friend, Miku. Ah, I know you don't like this nickname. My bad!" Both of them giggled after Lisa's slip.
Since the subject of Naru's new relationship was already thoroughly explored that day, they switched more to Lisa's band and music. Mikuni used to play an instrument, and musical sense, as well as interest, remained in her despite the fact she had given up performing.
She was wondering if stage musicians are annoyed, when someone who only played at school comes up to them after the show, and brings their minimal experience up. Lisa responded that it rarely happens for Roselia, mostly because of the genre they are focused on, but when it does, she herself finds it rather inoffensive.
When the two arrived at Mikuni's home, Lisa suddenly realized she has never been there before, and got unusually timid. Even though she was seemingly a very welcome guest, she wasn't completely at ease. The two stayed in Mikuni's room, which Lisa thought was tidy and well organized, with some photos here and there, providing hints about her friend's childhood.
Mikuni's mom brought them a light snack while she was busy preparing a meal in the kitchen. Lisa, as she said earlier, offered to help, but her request was politely declined. Her friend smiled, apparently expecting Lisa to ask that, despite Mikuni saying she didn't need to at all.
Soon enough the two went about their own matters, with Lisa managing her channel, and rescheduling an online tutoring session she forgot she was supposed to do that day, and Mikuni revising the material from lectures. In the end, the bassist also agreed to have her friend explain some parts of it.
Just before they were supposed to get down for dinner, Lisa spotted her chance to ask for advice. She suspected Mikuni might've in fact invited her to try to lend her a hand, without pushing for explanations herself.
"Um, you know, Mikuni… I'm recently worrying about losing good mood, sort of understanding, we had going with someone." She started as if it was the most mundane problem.
"It's… well… mulling over what taking the step forward brings." Lisa was surprised with how awkward she was.
"I'm not sure I really understand what you mean, but I guess it is about… love?" Mikuni was sitting at the desk and her expression changed from a bit unfocused to attentive.
"Right, uh, you can say it's about that, yeah." Lisa almost started rolling on the bed.
"I believe now I understand, why you weren't eager to join in with the fawning back at the university." Lisa couldn't say much to that, so she waited for the next part.
"That said, don't you think you are asking the wrong person again?"
"It's kind of hard to admit, and I know I said this before, but… with my experience, would you trust my advice?" Mikuni looked uncertain.
"Last time around, your advice, even if it was simple, worked. Naru was confessed to yesterday, so she'd surely say Go ahead and do it!" Lisa realized that Mikuni was more or less suggesting the same kind of approach back then.
"Then, why don't you go ahead and do it, like you said!" Mikuni chuckled at the end, seeing Lisa pouting for a brief moment.
"It's much easier said than done. When it's about someone you knew for years, you keep asking yourself if what you feel isn't somehow wrong." Bassist spoke with clarity this time.
"What if you're getting different kinds of love mixed up?" Lisa knew she revealed enough for her friend to have an idea just who is she fretting about.
"I can't help you with that, I think. Only you can answer a question about the kind of love you feel." Mikuni's expression became slightly downhearted.
"If you're afraid of what will happen, if you're scared, you are probably right. The person closest to you is sometimes so frightening, isn't that so?" Mikuni suddenly switching to a more serious tone made Lisa sit up.
"Yup, you nailed it. I don't think it brought me closer to deciding, though." Both of them giggled.
"I can't give you a good advice here, I'm sorry." Continuing, she looked at Lisa meekly.
"I can only say you could try asking yourself, what you would feel if it became obvious later on, that you missed your chance to be with that person, because you were late." Mikuni turned her head away after she noticed gyaru's reaction.
"Asking you for advice was the right choice, after all! You said you couldn't give me one, but then you actually did so, and I'm grateful." Lisa suddenly felt like someone had given her a missing piece of the puzzle.
"It's still tough, though. They say love is all about timing and then don't say what that timing is!" Lisa imagined her expression must've looked childish.
"It's arguably even harder for you, since a confession coming from a girl is a rare sight, one might say. Can I ask who the lucky man, you feel so fond of, is?" When Mikuni was with Lisa, she seemed to uncover her jesting side more.
"Did I say that person was a man? Hey, you surely caught on to who caused me this headache, Mikuni. I know this much about you." Lisa still avoided saying the name outright, willing to play along a bit. Mikuni smiled cheerfully.
"Whether you decide to try your luck or not, I'm on your side, Lisa. It takes a lot of courage, when your loved one is of the same gender."
Mikuni's mom interrupted them a moment later, calling the two to come down for dinner. It was a lovely one to look at, and Lisa was especially grateful for the chikuzenni that was prepared mostly for her, even though her friend also enjoyed it. With the warm and very welcoming atmosphere, Lisa finally felt fully relaxed.
In all likelihood, it also started to show on her face. While enjoying a tasty meal, Lisa tried doing exactly what Mikuni suggested, which was to imagine how she would feel if it turned out she let her chance slip away.
Naturally, she could also end up rushing it, but the chase after that one moment of happiness, and the weight of regret she didn't want to feel later, made Lisa accept the huge risk in hope of getting a huge reward.
Her contemplating mood became apparent and Mikuni tried to figure out an excuse, suggesting some tough material at the university. Lisa, however, partially admitted what she was thinking about, saying it was connected to Naru's story. Some teases towards Mikuni followed, since her mom complained about not hearing a lot of news from her daughter once she started university.
In the end, Lisa was glad to have visited and taken a peek into Mikuni's family life, as living on her own made her welcome such occasions. The emotions she's come to realize during the past days wouldn't have entailed attaining the firm resolve to change her current relationship with Yukina, if it wasn't for Mikuni's words.
Naru also chimed in, completely unaware, intoxicated with her own happiness. After the dinner, Lisa didn't bite her tongue in time and offered to help with the cleaning. Fortunately, it was accepted. Having one person extra to help with the chores, Mikuni with her mom were done relatively quickly.
Lisa was thankful for how nice everyone was to her and was smiling broadly, suggesting her friend should at some point pay her a visit, even though the apartment she was renting was rather on the small side. When she left, a cold evening breeze struck her and made waist-long, subtly dyed hair float in the wind for a short moment.
Lisa didn't turn away, rather welcomed it. The blows of chilly air kept her awake as she walked home. She had the plan mostly figured out. It started with watching the film, which was supposed to be the one about a musician struggling to keep playing her beloved music.
Roselia's bassist also wanted for them to take a trip down the memory lane, and visit a park they played at when they were kids. She did remember which one it was, she only needed to figure out the exact spot, if possible. A search for some old photos was in order.