XVIII
Both Sayo and Lisa were concerned, hearing that the band's leader will be missing from the first rehearsal in two weeks' time. While older Hikawa sister was easy for Yukina to convince, as she only needed to refer to her own suboptimal performance and argue she would be dragging the level down, bassist remained skeptical.
Lisa knew how important the regular practice was for Yukina. Vocalist was not happy with either choice, as she suspected it will be very difficult for all the members to get a good, harmonized sound without her. Pondering over the call she wished to make that morning, she spotted a worn-out notebook she wanted to throw away, but couldn't bring herself to.
It was the one that took the reader about eight years back. Yukina opened it and saw her handwriting from when she was in the last grade of elementary school. There were notes and assignments inside, but it also contained some childish, unfinished lyrics for songs she'd happened to come up with during the free time.
One of them had "For Lisa, my best friend and the cutest girl in our class!" written above it. Yukina closed the notebook and put it in the drawer, baffled that the name appears to somehow follow her around. She completely forgot about how different their relationship was years ago.
She admired Lisa, overjoyed that the prettiest girl was reaching out to her, and was happy they could spend time together. The notebook was supposed to be a token of her graduation from elementary school, with some drawings and sentences about the place, but such items end up surprising the owner after the time passes.
I had to stumble upon this now, of all times. Of course, it reminds me I haven't seen her since then, which is unfortunate. We should simply meet, this is isn't a matter you just text each other about. After they finish Sunday's practice could be a good time…
Letting out a sigh, she recalled what she originally wanted to do, which was to make a call. Hoping that her friend from Kunitachi will have the time, she tapped on "call".
"Yukina? Hello! I thought you'd call after you're done with the jam. What's up?" Felicia picked up and greeted her cheerfully.
"Hi. Yeah, around this time I would normally be preparing for the rehearsal, but I decided not to go to the studio." Yukina didn't beat around the bush.
"You won't be with your band, really? That's unusual. You didn't catch the cold the drummer girl had?" Felicia's asked with a light tease.
"No, Ako has gotten better, that's not the reason." Vocalist also switched to a softer tone.
"I was going to ask you if you have some time today to meet, if you don't mind me nagging about my singing." She continued in a relaxed fashion.
"I don't want to disturb your schedule, though. You normally teach whenever you have the opportunity." Vocalist was aware of her friend's responsibilities.
"Ah, give me a second, I'll find some time for you. Surely, I could squeeze—no, wait! Why don't you come over during one of my coaching sessions?" Felicia suddenly burst with vigor.
"You know a tiny bit about singing yourself, so that can hardly be a bad idea. I won't force you, though. The girl I teach comes around 15, what do you say?" Felicia's accent in conjunction with her excitement sounded funny, but Yukina was used to it.
"I don't know if I'll be of much help right now, but if that's fine by you, then I'll come. Thanks for arranging it, I appreciate that." Vocalist didn't think for too long.
"Anytime, Yukina. I also have another lesson today, but Naoko is passionate like you, so I thought there'll be nice synergy. Um, you know how to get here, right?" She asked quickly.
"Yeah, I can manage. Thank you again, Felicia." Yukina's tone brightened.
She didn't expect her friend to invite her to participate in the session, but also didn't want to dismiss the idea based on prejudice alone. The other singer coming over was supposedly similar to her, so perhaps it served some purpose. There were about four hours until the time Felicia expected her, so, in a good mood, Yukina began to review what else needed to be done.
She lived alone, but the apartment was small, so there was no need to move around a lot while cleaning and dusting. Yukina wasn't the quickest when it came to typical housekeeping, hence it took her some time to get the apartment in order.
Sitting at the desk after completing all the chores, premonition about the possibility of not solving the current issue with her vocal flitted through vocalist's thoughts. Yukina immediately shook her head, knowing there's no point in focusing on that. She recalled her father's certainty in that she'll find a solution.
Turning her attention towards the phone again, she noticed a message from Rinko. The keyboardist was asking if also the Sunday's session will really have only four members attending. Yukina felt concern behind pianist's words, so she decided to explain to her why exactly she deemed this was for the best.
Vocalist did want to see if visiting Felicia will bring about any change, though. The remaining time allowed her to already start minor preparations for the next days. Yukina set up a reminder on her phone to call Sugimoto the next day, even in the morning.
Regrettably, the negotiations were practically dead at that point, because of the clashing requirements of theirs. Yukina switched to the other plan, willing to establish an even stronger position with a concert first, having Afterglow as their support.
She was thinking of a way to swiftly convince Ran into singing at her show while changing into a dark shirt and a blue skirt combination, willing to head over to Felicia's early. Yukina continued to summarize the state of affairs in her mind on the way to her friend's place.
Vocalist was well-aware that in case negotiations with Sugimoto really fail, she'd need to contact the event organizer with his company's conditions already met. Releasing a single would be an accomplishment, but a concert with decent backing would go a long way toward building a more long-lasting position on the scene.
Upon getting close to Felicia's, she received a reply from Rinko, who wrote they will all try to go about the training normally without Yukina, but she and Ako would like to have her around the next time. Reading the text made the singer both glad that her bandmates cared for her, as well as sad she's facing difficulties which hinder Roselia's sessions.
Finally arriving at the destination, she was reminded of how remarkable the building her friend's apartment was situated in looked.
"Whoa, you're like twenty minutes early. As expected, I guess. Come on in, Yukina!" She welcomed her vigorously.
"Hi, Felicia. I did head out a bit early, yes," singer admitted.
"Typically, I would be making sure the band practice goes smoothly, but today I started preparing for the talks with the record label." Yukina explained, hanging her coat.
"Like I said, that's rare of you not to go. Um, as you can see, the whole place is rather messy, sorry 'bout that." Felicia wasn't overly embarrassed in front of Yukina.
"One of my students cancelled the lesson, so Naoko will be the first one for today." Instructor looked like trying to tidy some tableware before the pupil's arrival.
"I can help you. Coincidentally, I spent most of the time today cleaning my apartment." Yukina offered, seeing various plastic containers and dishes scattered around the room.
"Okay, just wanna get it sorted a little. The dishes and glasses to the kitchen, I'll wash them later today. Listening room is basically ready, but we'll check it." Felicia laughed at her own laziness.
"Right. The girls you teach; were they also surprised at first?" Vocalist asked, putting her bag on the couch.
"Some of them were. Others, those who knew me better, not exactly. So, is there another reason you skipped the training you wouldn't want a random gal to hear?" Felicia asked straightforwardly as they were getting on with tidying the apartment a little.
"I meant to get back to you about this. You haven't heard me sing since the live show, but I have some trouble with demanding songs," Yukina revealed her worries.
"It's worse when the obvious interpretation calls for longer sustain. The issue is that it shouldn't happen with tracks I know and already sung."
"I tried resting and taking care of my body, but it proved ineffective," she spoke in a cold voice.
"Knowing you, it's probably a minor deficiency. Plus, since the live show's been so hectic, maybe you're straining your voice too much, Yukina?" Felicia inquired, not convinced.
"I don't think I am. I didn't go the obvious route, that's why I'm here," Yukina responded, a tad impatient.
"Fair enough. It's hard to say more without hearing you sing, so you should give it a try if you'll feel like it. I don't think Naoko will mind one bit." She replied, proposing a joint session.
Yukina acknowledged it's mostly what she came here for, so she promptly agreed, given there will be an opportunity to do that. The two of them were almost done with the basic cleanup when the doorbell rang. Felicia said it was her student, so Yukina finished arranging dishes they managed to clean and left it at that.
She heard them greet each other at the entrance. As they were talking, it occurred to her again how spacious the apartment was. The couch was a central point of the living room; it was very much arranged in Western style, contrary to Yukina's flat. A feature particularly standing out, apart from the size, was the modern design.
The lights could be dimmed, and appeared to be able to change colors, adapting to the time of day. There was a separate bedroom, and an office, remodeled to serve as a listening room, where Felicia mostly conducted her lessons. She was a student herself, but abilities and references from people she tutored enabled her to take on a role of a private teacher or a mentor.
Yukina wondered if Felicia's family's wealth helped in starting this, as the place itself, as well as adapting the office to function as a rehearsal room, must've cost a fair bit. A young girl with short, black hair, wearing a leather jacket, frayed jeans and a printed T-shirt walked into the living room.
She had the image of a rocker, contrasting with Felicia's sophisticated look, created by the kimono-styled piece of cloth with a burnout pattern, and black trousers. Complete the picture with Yukina's black shirt coupled with a simple blue skirt, and one had a three vastly different styles represented.
"Oh, you're Roselia's lead, huh? Hi, I'm Naoko. Nice to meetcha." She quickly introduced herself, after taking off the jacket.
"Nice to meet you, too. Minato Yukina, as you probably know already." The girl seemed to have known her, but she still went with the introduction.
"Alright, since Naoko heard about you and, sort of, about Roselia, she knew who I was talking about when I told her you're coming." The host started explaining.
"That one here," Felicia turned to her side, where Naoko stood, "is one of the more promising young rockers I heard." Younger vocalist smiled upon hearing the compliment, her body language signaling slight embarrassment.
"I'm sure you two have some common ground. Now, can I make everyone some coffee while you're setting yourselves up in the listening room?" Felicia made a pledging gesture to Naoko.
Two guests proceeded to head to the rehearsal room, with the younger one looking a tad vexed by the instructor's nonchalance. It quickly became apparent both of them knew what they were doing, as they divided work without even saying a word to each other.
The silence became awkward once the equipment was ready, with Naoko finally breaking it with a simple question.
"Minato-san, you've been Roselia's leader for some years, no? How did you actually find the members back then?" She seemed genuinely interested, not just asking to start any conversation.
"I first scouted Sayo, however, it might be more accurate to say we bumped into each other at the live house." Yukina needed a moment to recall the events of that day.
"The next two members were Ako, a really persistent and determined drummer, and Lisa, my… childhood friend." She continued, noticeable pause didn't make Naoko interrupt her.
"I had both of them perform in the studio, and after the audition it just felt like the sound was complete, so to say." Yukina looked straight at the fellow vocalist.
"Oh, you were so lucky… I play the guitar and my friend grabs the bass, but we don't have the drummer yet. That's a major pain. Would sure be nice to miraculously bump into the right person." She said in a longing voice, looking elsewhere.
"It's not like every member appeared out of thin air. I spent some time looking before Rinko became our keyboardist." She suspected that was a bit dense on her part.
"If you intend to play with a band, on a stage, you have to keep searching. Moreover, assembling the group is only the start." Yukina continued with confidence, nonetheless.
"I never thought about it, yikes!" Older of the two couldn't tell if it was a joke.
"You started complaining your–"
"Heey! Sorry for the wait, I'm here. Since we've got the fuel now, we can go ahead and start. Naoko, I think we'll tackle the review first, Ok?" The door opened and Felicia walked in, cutting Yukina's line short.
"Sure, I sent you the vids." The two started looking at the material, putting their mugs on a small coffee table.
Apart from that little piece of furniture, there was not much else in the room besides sound gear, as was to be expected. Yukina, feeling a tad bored, noticed her mug was different from the other two, and featured a hand-made painting of two cats sitting side by side.
Precise finish and cuteness mixed with traditional technique made her stare at the design. Felicia appeared to have spotted that and asked if Roselia's vocalist likes it. She replied it's decent and took a sip of coffee. A smile from the instructor meant she chose the mug knowing Yukina's fondness for cats.
Felicia followed up with asking if she wants to join in and also take a look at the performance. More experienced singer agreed, realizing the review could take a while, plus having another pair of ears to hear one's session typically means they can get better feedback. Naoko recorded herself performing two songs and a few tough vocal exercises recommended by Felicia.
Yukina quickly recognized the abilities of the young girl, who sang dynamically, with a plethora of strength, not minding her voice sliding off of notes at times. She couldn't stop herself from pointing these spots out, adding it reminds her of another rebellious rocker from Afterglow. Naoko seemed rather unfazed by the remarks, paying more attention to what her tutor was saying.
Having gone through the recordings, Felicia asked Naoko to prepare for singing one of her new tracks, while she took the empty mugs back. Yukina's cold stare didn't seem to intimidate the young girl that much. The dense mood continued until the apparent mediator returned, having brought some sweets, which she put on the same small table as the mugs before.
She asked Naoko to set the effects to minimal reverb and enhancement, to have a cleaner listen. When the aspiring vocalist started to wail out her song, Yukina thought she encountered a different version of Mitake Ran — younger and showing even more disdain for precision.
Playing the guitar and singing at the same time, her voice was loud and full of emotions during the chorus, remaining calmer when the tempo was building up. While impressed with the energy and portrayal, Roselia's leader soon picked up on a downside of Naoko's style.
Used to Sayo's technical prowess, Yukina heard the young girl had trouble timing guitar entries properly, and was oftentimes late, as well as a bit slow. The deficiency didn't mean one couldn't enjoy the performance, although it certainly wasn't a mistake Yukina would accept anyone from her own band making. Naoko finished the song and looked at Felicia, who had some suggestions.
"You're progressing nicely when it comes to tough, long notes. The exercises are paying off; you see? Don't be mad next time you do them." Tutor's smirk was met with a somewhat sarcastic smile.
"Your voice is remarkable, but there's a price you pay. Because you focus so much on the feelings tied to the words, your hands, which should be playing the guitar, are not doing it." Felicia suddenly appeared much more serious than typically.
"What? I don't think I missed a phrase, really. What do you mean?" Naoko looked dumbfounded.
"Yukina, did you notice?" The question Felicia threw at her made both of them smile briefly.
"The entries were mistimed. I only spotted that after the first chorus, I was focused on the voice earlier. It seemed to me like you were consistently late." Roselia's vocalist explained what she heard.
"Yup. You're so into the song that your hands sometimes move by themselves. That sounds good, but you need to pay more attention to synchronizing with the vocals." Felicia agreed with Yukina's remark.
"Honestly, I wasn't even aware I was coming in late there. Nice catch." Naoko sounded grateful and surprised.
"You should try to play and sing along to some melodies you know, to get even more used to multitasking." Firm tone of her tutor's remark caused the younger musician to listen carefully.
"You also seem to go really aggressively into the chorus with the voice, why don't you imagine yourself in a place you like, in summer, but with some godly air-con running?" Felicia was smiling, while Naoko was once again confused.
"You haven't changed the general approach, I reckon." Yukina was aware of the purpose of previous remark.
"I haven't, there's no need while it works." She said that in a jesting tone.
"As Yukina already knows, I rely on visualization a lot during my lessons."
"The cold air you vividly imagine, is supposed to chill you enough to stop you from rushing through the chorus so much that the guitar sounds slow in comparison." Naoko reacted with a sour face.
"You can picture yourself on a stage you'd love to sing on, in the middle of a cold winter. Mental images are a powerful tool." Felicia spoke charismatically.
"I don't know about that. I mean, I don't doubt you've had success with this stuff, but I'm more of a listener. I… can always give it a spin, though." Naoko apparently bent a little after Felicia gave her a stern look.
"Ok, why don't we have some variety, and have you two switch? Yukina, show us how it's done." Felicia chuckled.
"You're having too much fun. Isn't it supposed to be serious mentoring?" Roselia's vocalist also smiled faintly, searching for the song, and resetting the effects.
Naoko looked intrigued by the whole situation, not at all angry about her lesson's time being spent on someone else's singing. Young rocker likely talked with Felicia about sharing the session with another person. The obvious difference between the two performers was the fact Yukina didn't play the guitar along to her vocal.
Even though she learned the basic technique in the past, she concentrated solely on her voice at a later stage. Her knowledge of the instrument was helpful when it came to composing, as she was able to understand the way the passages worked from Sayo's perspective.
Yukina chose one of the first songs she performed with Roselia, also because of the prosaic reason she happened to have that track's off-vocal version on her phone. She stood before two people only, so she was completely relaxed. Having a clear mind, she began to sing, timing her entry perfectly.
Yukina practiced that song so many times she knew the melody by heart. Right before the first chorus, however, it became evident she started having trouble. Her voice faded away, like swept under the rug, and it wasn't because of a basic mistake. It gave the impression she had no stamina to pull it off.
Yukina was wary of what was happening, although decided to keep singing, for the sake of not running away. The issue mostly persisted throughout the whole performance. Some parts she executed normally, and louder ones, especially choruses, ended up muffled, shortened, and were lacking energy.
After finishing the song, Yukina was disappointed and looked at Felicia, whose expression was unusually pensive.
"Ah, you weren't kidding. You almost sound like someone else." Her friend seemed surprised, given the level she got used to.
"Like I said, there's a serious regression that I cannot easily explain, and I don't think it's simply overtraining." Yukina talked directly to Felicia.
"You ruled that out, I guess. I can't imagine you being nervous either. Isn't your mind playing tricks on you? I mean, you were still hitting the notes, all the time, but you seemed… lifeless." Felicia analyzed what she heard, with a bit puzzled face.
"When Felicia said, 'Show us how it's done,' I sure didn't expect that." Naoko was teasing the fellow vocalist.
"Well, at least I wasn't all over the place with my rhythm." Yukina felt like a rebuttal was in order.
"Ok, ok, maybe it wasn't such a great idea to have two gals with strong personalities and different styles in one room. My bad." Felicia stepped in, laughing.
"It's not that serious. It reminds me of how we've been clashing over our views of music with Mitake-san many times before." Yukina sounded calm, at least for now.
"Yeah, you two fought battles after battles, but eventually stepped off the warpath, no?" Tutor smirked.
"As for what's going on with your singing, you might try a similar idea. Grab the most intense and vivid image of a performance you've fond memories of, or simply love a lot." Felicia continued, although it was now Roselia leader's turn to look unconvinced.
"We forget how people and places influence one's voice. Recall who is important for your singing, for whatever reason they might be. But don't merely tick the box, think it over properly." Confidence tutor had in her words was easily heard.
"Yeah, at least you don't have to do squats like me. Might as well try that." Naoko giggled.
With some laughs from all three following, the awkwardness was gone and the mood changed. Yukina proceeded to explain that Felicia's methods are a mix of classical and unorthodox approaches, with a focus on the latter.
Tutor agreed with the remark, and added that she likes to focus on the mental side, as lots of musicians are intimidated by the thought of going up on the stage, for example. In her mentoring, she explored spirituality when a student could not improve, or tackle the problems by conventional means.
Naoko was rather baffled, but Yukina started to see the merit in keeping an open mind this time. She fitted the description, after all, since her regression's cause was not in the body. Felicia continued the training with Naoko and Yukina both singing a track each, and both showing some improvement.
The first played more carefully, and was able tame her tendency to rush with singing and miss the guitar entries, although the problem wasn't gone entirely. The latter sung with more clarity and could sustain during chorus for longer, making the second song more pronounced.
Performance she gave still didn't match the level Yukina herself got used to, but the vocalist finally felt like she broke the impasse. Felicia spent the remaining lesson time on voice emission exercises, done solely by Naoko. Tutor promptly remarked that even though more experienced singer looked like the technique worked for her, she should proceed gradually.
Upon leaving, Yukina thanked both her new acquaintance and her longtime friend for allowing her to come during the session. Naoko reminded her about the burning passion young artists have. Yukina then decided to call the Afterglow's leader to ask her about performing for Roselia as a support.
Before she did that, however, there was another unresolved matter waiting for a conclusion. Felicia stressed how a musician can feel a connection with a place or a person they met, so strong, that it almost becomes essential for their expressive ability to keep that bond. A stage she loved appearing on, someone she felt intertwined with when singing.
They must be in the middle of practice right now, so I shouldn't bother them. I feel like calling her, though. I did exactly what Felicia had told me to, and somehow the image of Lisa performing with me appeared in my thoughts. I was certain this was unrelated, and yet it might've been.
Her presence on the scene, even in the studio, it does help me to concentrate. I know I wanted her to stay close, but I don't know when Lisa simply being there had become so crucial. She's been a constant part of my life for so long that I started to take it for granted she's there for me.
Now I can see myself devoid of will to express emotions through music as I imagine Lisa drifting away after Roselia. A path she'd take without me.
I never foreseen experiencing a feeling like this, how strange…
Another message from Rinko made her come back to reality, breaking her daze. According to the keyboardist, band practice ended early this time, as Sayo wasn't feeling well. Guitarist did her best to go over her own sections, but she was clearly not concentrated enough.
The other three also decided to stop soon after, as the atmosphere became rather somber, so they'd rather call it a day than force themselves to do it for the sake of doing it. Yukina was concerned about her friend. She knew Sayo would not call it quits in the middle of a session unless it was serious.
Realizing how her band needed her, she was frustrated with the fact she wasn't at the studio to remedy the situation. Yukina was now determined to go the next day, regardless of her voice's state.
She's simply my friend. If I can help her, I should do it. If Sayo doesn't want anyone meddling in, I will at least listen. Since it'll be Roselia's session, there'll someone else there I must hear out. I rejected her hastily, certain she's dreaming about the person I can no longer be. Now I wonder if I'll be able to respond to her…
Yukina first called Sayo once she reached her apartment to be able to hear her clearly. To start off with, the guitarist assured her she's not coming down with a flu, and will be attending Sunday's training. Later, when the vocalist pressed her a bit, she revealed the reason for apparent lack of focus earlier that day.
Sayo described it as finally taking the step forward she wished to take for a while, which she was glad about, but also having to deal with the tough and upsetting truth. Yukina was mystified by that description, which is why she asked for more details. The other bit of information she got was that it was connected to Tsugumi. At that point, Roselia's leader needed no further explanations.
The talk with Sayo allowed her to imagine what Lisa must have felt after the confession. Band's leader was fending off the same fear both guitarists probably experienced. Their courage impressed her. Yukina was lying on her bed, coming back to how her voice became stronger at Felicia's when she pictured herself singing for Lisa.