XIX
Saturday's practice seemed difficult before it even started due to the absence of the group's leader. It only got worse once they elected to synchronize their play. During the session, Roselia's guitarist looked like she always did, but she played like she never did.
Sayo's technique was uneven, older Hikawa twin struggled to remain consistent. Whatever had happened that caused her so much anxiety must've been very fresh in her memory when she came to the studio on that day, from the looks of it. It was hard for Lisa to observe what was happening, suspecting what Sayo must've been going through.
Ultimately, after the guitarist herself had come to a conclusion that playing on served no real purpose, Lisa with the gamers' duo didn't force themselves for long either. Using the booked time to the fullest was one thing, but seeing Sayo like that was another. Having a session right next day didn't bode very well.
As Sunday's morning welcomed Lisa with dimmed rays skimming through the curtains, it occurred to her that Yukina might know more, since the two generally talked more often, working at the same shop and attending the same university. Before asking about Sayo, however, Lisa wished to ask Yukina a different question, arguably a more important one.
Vocalist didn't outright avoid her, as she revealed she won't be coming to training, and yet the two glossed over what's happened during the previous weekend. The leader skipping practice was worrisome, too, but Lisa started preparing to visit Yukina to try and stop ignoring the lingering disappointment after her confession.
What bassist really wanted to know was if they could keep performing for Roselia together, had the singer decided to reject her again. Lisa was going to try her luck, saying what she didn't get to last time. It was hard for her to imagine Yukina avoiding the sessions because of awkwardness, but if that was even partially true, it was all the more reason to resolve what's been left unsaid.
Lisa was certain she had at least some chances, due to the way singer reacted when they worked together in the café. This time around girl's intentions were clearer, and she knew exactly what she wanted to do. Despite that, being already on the way, there was still a sense of misgiving in her heart. Experiencing both unwavering strength and anxiety was a first for Lisa.
Seeing the apartment door made both of these emotions even more pronounced. The one minute it took her to reach it stretched infinitely. Finally, she took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell. It was only then she realized Yukina might not even be home. Lisa didn't want to do it over the phone, but she knew it would've at least spared her the walk.
There was no point in dwelling over that, however. She looked around, but didn't see anyone she would recognize, and only heard background traffic noises. Few moments have passed, and there was no sign of anyone even coming to open the door. Lisa tried again, and then another time. She heard somebody coming out, but it was a different apartment on the floor above.
She pressed the button one more time, and kept waiting in front of the entrance. Bassist didn't check how much the time has passed. After what felt like a couple minutes, she simply knocked on the door, but as there was no answer that time either, she turned around. Lisa convinced herself there will be another chance and walked away.
Yukina did write on the group chat, which they all seldom used since the last project that she will try to make it to the Sunday's rehearsal after all, given she'll be feeling okay in the morning. Where did she go in that case? Not able to reach Yukina on the phone to ask that question, Lisa thought she could wait until the session and see if the vocalist comes.
Her legs, however, still felt heavy as she slowly walked down the stairs, and then followed the street towards a junction. The timing was not in her favor. If she came back to her own flat, she would almost instantly have to leave for band practice. Lisa decided to simply visit some shops nearby, and see if they had limited-time Christmas offers.
She made up her mind to kill time like that, but when the traffic light at the crossing turned green, she didn't move. A faint sound that could barely be heard caught Lisa's attention. She turned around, then heard it again and was able to tell where it was coming from.
"Lisa!"
A figure standing in front of Yukina's apartment, leaning on the railing, was calling her name. In fact, that person must've been screaming it, since Lisa was already at the crossing, walking back for around a minute. At this range, bassist's name was like a quiet whisper, but she was certain. She dashed back.
One look would've been enough to make sure once she got closer, although she was running so quickly she didn't even shift her gaze in the direction of the apartment. Getting back up the stairs suddenly was no challenge at all. Gyaru looked at the one screaming her name moments ago.
"Lisa." Yukina was standing near the entrance, with an expression as normal as ever.
"Hey, I thought… you were someplace else." Lisa's voice began to crack.
"I'm sorry I didn't answer. I was talking to Sugimoto and didn't want anyone to disturb, so I had my headphones on." The composure band's vocalist maintained was almost irritating.
"That makes sense. I tried calling, but it didn't get through." Lisa tried to remain calm.
"So… did he change his mind or is the deal really dead?" Gyaru knew that was not the question she wanted to ask.
"He didn't. I thought he would, but it's like he is saying we need to be a bigger name to have more of a leeway." Yukina asked Lisa to come in with a gesture.
She followed suit and the warmth of the apartment coupled with her effort of running back suddenly made her cheeks spark with heat. There was also a woman she was in love with standing in the hallway, which was most certainly unrelated. She took off her coat and the boots, pondering if Mikuni's advice was okay to follow this time around.
"You wanted to check up on me, or is there another reason that you're here?" Yukina asked in an intrigued tone, but Lisa lost sight of her.
The corridor seamlessly connected with the living space, but there was a corner along the way, making it impossible to see the inside right from the entrance anyhow. Lisa passed the bathroom door on the left and then took a turn to get into the living room. Yukina leaned against the wall right at the entry.
"I'll start. I owe you an apology. Last weekend I just dismissed what you wanted to convey without much consideration." Sincere voice and eyes directed at her made Lisa excited and anxious at once.
"I also have been quite blind when it comes to how important you are for my singing and… for me." Yukina smiled, and that was a smile she hasn't seen yet. Filled with longing and with appreciation, it made Lisa's heart pick up the pace.
"I realized it, Lisa. My voice belongs to you. My place is by your side."
Yukina straightened up and took a step towards her, trying to hide embarrassment, but failing to do so. Lisa could then see how vocalist's cheeks got flushed with reddish pink like on that Saturday's evening. Gyaru was just so taken aback by the words she just heard that there was no remembering what she'd wanted to say.
"However…" Lisa, already willing to immerse herself in the black eyes looking at her unusually softly, was perplexed by the sudden change in the singer's attire.
"No, you can't just turn it around now." Gyaru pleaded, no longer sure where this is heading.
"That's on you. Would you really say those same words as back then, would you accept me as I am now?"
"Yukina!" Lisa grabbed her arm by the wrist and vocalist jolted with her confidence and assertiveness swept away.
"I… Come on, how could I not? I have best of both worlds now… The person you're now, where you're headed, I want to tag along." Realizing how tight her sudden grasp was, Lisa lightened her hold and slid down to just faintly hold Yukina's palm.
"You know how I feel now, but I'm greedy and… I wonder what it means, what you said. I have to ask. Do you… love me, Yukina?" She continued with a straightforward question, her heart reaching the pace of their tracks.
"To have such a devoted member in my band, to even–" Vocalist regained some of her cool and spoke slowly, but her quivering was apparent when she tucked the black and silver strands behind her ear in a very uncharacteristic fashion.
"Should I be more devoted to you, or to Roselia, though?" Lisa was even able to tease Yukina right then.
"Both the same amount, of course."
The two of them laughed for a good while and enjoyed the moment. The giggles soon calmed down and Lisa found herself tensing up again, looking at Yukina's newfound attire, with a casual, partially see-through top she'd never have chosen herself back in the day. Lisa searched for the cheekiness which allowed her to take the lead, but it was nowhere to be found.
"So, um… You didn't really…"
"I do."
"No, but… would you date me?" Gyaru felt embarrassed right after saying it.
Yukina leaned in slowly, took Lisa's right hand and raised the left palm with her own, lightly touching her fingertips. The height difference wasn't as obvious as in high school, but vocalist did have to reach up ever so slightly. Both closed their eyes. Lisa stood still and let Yukina lead.
There is no way this is actually happening. I just wanted to make sure I don't regret anything! Holy smokes, I can't… think normally… I hope this isn't going to get out of hand. Yukina somehow doesn't seem like wanting to end it just yet either…
She had no idea how long they were like this. It felt like minutes, while it almost certainly wasn't.
"Is that going to suffice for an answer?" Yukina was the first one to speak after their lips parted.
"Ah… Yeah…" Lisa, dazed, recorded every detail of vocalist's gentle smile lasting for a fraction of a second, together with the enthralled look Yukina had in her eyes.
Her cheeks were hot, and she was still bewitched after the person she loved stole her first kiss, and then a bunch to follow. Lisa felt bliss, joy, relief and some anxiety. Yukina tried to swiftly suggest a cup of tea, but her firm tone completely mismatched meek and hesitant movements.
Lisa took a seat by the little table that was in the front part of the room and Yukina was a few steps away, searching for the cups. Remembering the sensations, Lisa couldn't really find proper words to describe the overwhelming emotions she was experiencing. In an effort to calm down, she started to look through her phone for an interesting post or news she could focus on instead.
A cozy scent filled the flat, but it wasn't what the gyaru expected. In the end, Yukina switched tea for coffee and forgot to put any sugar in either. Lisa smiled and grabbed some from the cupboard.
"I have to be honest with you. I know very little about dating someone." Vocalist broke the awkwardness, looking at Lisa.
"I was planning on calling you, or meeting up with you myself. I pondered if I would be able to understand your affection, having no interest in love until now," Yukina admitted.
"It turned out I'm able to intuitively grasp that when you are close. I understood that my feelings… even if different, hold the same meaning." She spoke somewhat quietly, seemingly turning bashful.
"Now I cannot imagine not having you around, even… after I get off the stage for good." Turning her head to the side after a pause, vocalist continued in a timid tone.
"Yukina… I can't believe you can get this adorable!" Lisa could not restrain herself.
Bassist was grinning and Yukina reacted with quite the stern look, which quickly softened up a little bit. As the topic ultimately switched to the planned practice they would soon have to head out to, vocalist brought up the talk with Sayo, stating she doesn't know for certain if the guitarist was in pain because of a refusal.
Lisa came back to the session the day before, and it seemed to fit what she had saw and heard. Even the stoic older Hikawa twin simply didn't have enough time to get the memory of Tsugumi's rejection out of her head. Talking over the coffee, Yukina assured Lisa she will go to the Sunday's rehearsal with her, but was unsure if Sayo should push herself to play.
Likewise, gyaru was concerned about the guitarist, only having her doubts cleared up after Roselia's leader remarked it should be Sayo's decision. Had Saturday's erratic performance repeated, Yukina considered her experienced enough to cut it short herself.
The whole matter led Lisa to ponder about how incredibly lucky she just got. A woman she loved returned her feelings. That's not a commonplace occurrence.