Looking over at his sleeping companion, he sighed. His head was buzzing, vibrating almost and it was keeping him awake. Emotionally and physically he was exhausted but his mind couldn't rest. Something was happening. Rassilon had been sent back, he and Rose had worked things out so why was he so uncomfortable? Why could he feel the darkness on the edges of his mind?
With a silent growl he got up and dragged himself through the TARDIS to the library. Standing staring at his books he grabbed at his hair and tugged, trying to relive the irritation he felt.
"Doctor? You ok?" Jack called from the doorway. "I heard you go past, I thought you'd be dead to the world, make up sex is usually the most exhausting," he teased.
Slowly the Doctor turned at glowered at him.
"Ohhhkay, not the time for jokes huh?" Jack stated. "What gives?"
"Somethings wrong," was all the Doctor said.
"Yeah I kinda figured," he stepped towards the Time Lord. "You look….wrong." He frowned. It wasn't like before when the Doctor had detached himself from the world, this was….he couldn't even find a way to describe it. "Is this a left over from the detachment? I mean I know you're having trouble containing emotion, maybe the stuff you're holding back is trying to flood out?"
The Doctor shook his head and scrubbed at his face. "There's too many people here."
"Doc, it's just the three of us, like it's been for months."
"No. In here!" he exclaimed hitting his head with his knuckles.
"Woah, woah ok Doc. Ok". Jack grabbed the Doctor's hands pulling away from his skull. "Let's just stop beating ourselves up for a moment. Come on, I think we need some tea. Or maybe something stronger."
XxXxX
Sitting at the kitchen table the Doctor watched as Jack hunted through the cupboards, cheering triumphantly when he unearthed a bottle of whisky. Depositing two glasses on the table Jack poured and took a grateful gulp, his eyes never leaving the Time Lord. "Right. Look at me," he demanded.
With a sigh the Doctor's gaze met his. Jack leaned forward to get a closer look at the Doctor's eyes. They looked fairly normal, a little bloodshot maybe and a little darker than usual but nothing that would indicate any kind of possession.
"Somethings wrong huh? Okay. Spill."
The Doctor quirked a bored eyebrow and slowly rolled his eyes,, which unnerved Jack. Sure he'd rolled his eyes and raised a questioning brow before but this was different. It was like someone else was wearing his face for a moment.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" the Doctor asked "What's wrong?"
Jack shook his head. "It's nothing, you just looked really weird for a minute there."
The Doctor frowned.
"Well there's no swirling in your eyes so, it's not those sirens again trying to possess you. Shame, could do with some excitement," Jack teased, hoping to raise a smile.
"Oh I just bet you could," the Doctor purred. "Poor Jacky feeling lonely while his friends shag like rabbits?"
The Time Lord's eyes widened, as soon as the words had left his lips he clamped a hand to his mouth..
"I'm sorry what now?"
The Doctor frantically shook his head.
"Doctor?"
"Oh come on Jack. Who would you prefer to have a go at first? Me or Rose?" The Doctor leant back in his chair, a smile creeping across his lips. "Could be fun."
"Stop it."
The Time Lord gulped down his whisky and poured himself another glass. "I was quite enjoying the despair the emotional detachment was causing. But you had to meddle. Had to bring her back here, had to fix things," he hissed.
Jack stared at him, speechless. This wasn't the Doctor speaking, it couldn't be. The Doctor had understated; something was VERY wrong. It took him a moment for his brain to catch up. "Doctor you need to snap out of it. Whatever is happening in there you need to kick them out!"
"Ugh. You're no fun. Fine." The Doctors posture relaxed and he gasped before leaning heavily on the table.
"What the hell was that?! WHO the hell was that?! Who's in there with you?" Jack demanded.
"It can't be, it can't be," the Doctor repeated over and over.
"Doctor? What's happening? TALK TO ME!" the time agent yelled, snapping the Doctor from his panic.
"He's found me and he's found a way in." He jumped up abruptly knocking his chair over and ran from the room, Jack following a beat behind.
"Who's found you?" He watching his friend flit frantically around the TARDIS' control panel, setting the ship in motion.
"We have to leave now."
"What's going on?" Rose's voice floated from the doorway.
"That's what I'm trying to find out," Jack told her. "Doctor! Whats happening?! Who's found you? Who's found a way in?"
The Doctor turned and looked at them both. Fear plain on his face as he said one word; "Valeyard"
XxXxX
"Guessing this isn't a happy reunion." Jack stated. "Think we're going to need some backstory Doc."
The Doctor leant on on of the handrails, his grip so tight his knuckle were white and his arms shook as he let out a roar of despair.
Tentatively Rose stepped up beside him. "It's gona be ok," she murmured. "We dealt with Rassilon, how much worse can this Valeyard be?"
The Time Lord chuckled sardonically "He's me. It's about as bad as it can get with a side of disaster."
"Yeah, you're gona need to explain that whole 'he's you' thing. Your ex-boss said something similar", Jack told him
"And why are we running?" Rose asked. "What does he want?"
"Me. He wants to destroy me, to take me over"
"Well we can stop him," she assured him.
"I am stopping him, by running."
"How does running help?"
The Doctor looked at her."Because I didn't run from Rassilon and I lost you. Hearing the worst of me is one thing, seeing it is quite another."
"This needs to be a proper sit down, family discussion ," Jack interjected before Rose could argue back.
Reluctantly the Time Lord nodded and followed his companions back to the kitchen….and the alcohol.
Sitting at the table, Jack poured them all a glass of whisky and waited silently for the Doctor to find his voice again.
"Rassilon told you that Valeyard as an amalgamation of my darker side. He's supposed to be from between my twelfth and final incarnation. That's a lot of darkness. I first met him when the High Council appointed him as my prosecutor at one of my trials, they had hoped to have me executed, removing the sole witness to their near destruction of life on Earth. 'Valeyard' means 'learned court prosecutor' in Gallifreyan."
"What were you on trial for?" Rose asked.
"'Conduct unbecoming of a Time Lord'." He paused. "Genocide," he stated, watching her reaction carefully. "There was a space liner that had been overrun with a race called the Vervoids. They were a human-plant hybrid. It was heading for Earth. If they had reached you they'd have eliminated all animal life. I…. killed them. All of them."
"Doesn't seem like something the high council would have been all that concerned about if Rassilon was any indication," Jack queried.
"Probably not, if it had been anyone other than me. It was a distraction. They were worried I was about to find out one of their darkest secrets, so put me on trial in the hopes that they could have me executed first. It's all a bit complicated and a bit hazy, it's been a long time."
"What was their secret?" Rose asked, watching him play with his hands on the table before taking another swig of whisky.
"It was called the Ravalox affair and it would expose how corrupt they had become"
"Ravalox?"
"Ravalox is Earth in approximately 2,000,000 AD. The Time Lords moved it through space, killing virtually every human being on it. Valeyard tried to tamper with evidence to ensure my death. Had he succeeded he would have been given all my remaining regenerations, making his existence concrete. He would then have gone on to kill every member of the court."
"So you think he's after you for your regenerations?" Jack clarified.
"I'd say it's a pretty safe bet, wouldn't you?"
"But Rassilon said YOU'RE the most feared being in the universe, the most dangerous," Rose argued.
"I am. to the universe. Every monster has to be afraid of something."
"You're not a 're the one they're scared of," She assured him.
"Exactly. If monsters are afraid, what does that make me? And if he's created from my darkest moments, my darkest side- what does that make him? He's existence is still in flux, I could turn into him or I might not. Only time will tell. The longer he exists, the longer he has to feed off me, the more dangerous he will become." He took a fortifying breath. "I told you I knew who the Ripper was, the real Rippe,r and that I didn't tell Abberline. That wasn't to 'preserve history' it was to save his life. I'm Jack the Ripper."
"What?!" Jack and Rose both yelled.
"I am the Valeyard. The Valeyard is Jack."
A heavy silence fell on the kitchen as the Doctor poured himself another drink.
"So how do we stop him?" Rose asked at last.
"We don't, we run and keep running."
"We can't run for the rest of time!" Jack told him.
"Yes we can."
"What about my mum? Is he likely to go after her and Pete to get to you?" Rose asked, unable to hide the panic in her voice.
The Doctor remained silent.
"Doctor. There must be some way of stopping him," Jack stated.
"Right now I'm struggling just to keep him under control. He's always in here you see? Like a parasite feeding, but he's suddenly got stronger and it's my fault."
"So how do we get him under control?"
"We don't. Only I can do that but I'm not in control of anything," the Time Lord admitted, his eyes clouded slightly as the pressure of keeping the dark side of himself at bay weighed heavily. "I wasn't joking when I said it had been an all or nothing kind of week. I never thought it would be so hard to find the in-between. Suppose that's why we were taught emotional detachment. Made life much more simple." He scrubbed his fingers through his hair and sighed.
"This is my fault," Rose stated tearfully.
"How do you figure that?" Jack asked.
"I left. If I hadn't then you wouldn't have…"
"Rose. It was my choice. It was my pride that wouldn't let my… that let my training take hold. Maybe if I hadn't then you wouldn't have left." The Doctor reached for her hand and squeezed. "And if I hadn't let it build up behind that wall it wouldn't have fed his existence. I got complacent. I thought he'd been caught up in the Time War and locked in and then I forgot about him. This is no ones fault but mine."
"So where are we headed?" Jack asked.
"I have no idea. I just sent us into the vortex. The destination is up to the TARDIS. The less I know the better while near him."
"You think he's close?"
"He was. To be able to take over like that means he was near Earth, if not on it."
"Take over?" Rose asked.
Jack and the Doctor exchanged a look. "The Doc disappeared for a while and this Valeyard guy? Creepy to say the least."
"You don't know the half of it," the Doctor sighed. "Look, I'm just going to issue a blanket apology now for anything that's said from here on out."
"We know Doc, it's not you."
"That's just it. He IS me."
XxXxX