Roll Call

Miranda looked at the OR schedule. There was no way in hell she'd be able to get over to the airport, pick up her mother and get back to the hospital in time for her liver transplant. No way. She looked at the board again willing the time to change. "Bailey, what are you doing?" Her mentor asked.

She didn't avert her eyes to look at the man. "Learning to control time."

"Um, why?"

"My surgery is at four o'clock." Richard didn't answer. "My mom is coming in at three."

"Ahh."

"Do you see my dilemma?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Richard laughed. "But you could just order a car to pick Elena up."

"My mom hates when I spend money on frivolous things. And a car service will be seen as frivolous. I keep telling her that I'm a surgeon and I got it like that, but she just doesn't care."

Richard laughed, putting his hands on his hips. "Cab?"

"She offered to get a cab, but I don't want her to think that I don't care enough to find her a respectable, safe ride."

"Tucker?"

"Already asked. He's busy," she scoffed.

"Warren?"

"Do I really want her to be able to freely interrogate him and make him want to pack up and leave Seattle by five o'clock?"

"Well, I give up."

"Thanks anyway, sir," Miranda said laughing. Richard scratched his bald head and stood in her sight line. "Yes?"

"You're being a bit melodramatic about Ben picking up Elena. He's your best option." Miranda started to speak. He turned his back on her. "Unless you happen to learn the art of time control in the next hour or so," he said over his shoulder.

Miranda shook her head and watched him walk away. "Maybe he's right," she said to herself.

"What am I right about this time?" Ben's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"You are not right about anything," she answered turning on her heels.

He touched her arm and leaned down to whisper in her ear: "I was right about you." She rolled her eyes and headed to her office. "So?" Ben asked closing her door.

"So what?"

"Am I going to pick up your mom or are you going to keep pretending that you're going to have enough time to do it all?"

Miranda smirked and sat down in her office chair, facing her desk. "If it's not too much trouble, can you?"

"Now! Was that so hard?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Ben reached into her refrigerator and pulled out an orange juice.

"Because I don't want to get too comfortable with you being here."

"Oh, cut it out!" He laughed gulping the juice. She didn't respond. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Her doctor's office was calling. She made a mental note to call the number back once she got a free moment. "Miranda, is that how you really feel?"

When she didn't answer, he swirled her around to face him. "Miranda?"

"Can we just pretend that I didn't say anything?"

Ben nodded and tossed the empty bottle into the garbage. "We can for now because I am off to pick up Elena."

"Thank you, handsome," Miranda responded smiling up at him. She blew him a kiss.

"You're welcome, beautiful." A flutter in her stomach made her smile crooked. He walked over to her and kissed the back of her neck, making her body pop. He touched the knob of the door.

"If you need me, call me."

"She'll be fine."

"Uh, I was talking about you," she laughed. Ben laughed, too, leaving the room.

Miranda performed her transplant flawlessly, if she did say so herself. She stepped out of the OR, swiping and tapping on her phone quickly. She had a text message from Ben: Your mom is fine. I used the key to let her in the hosue. Shes cooking now. I love you. Miranda took a deep breath and replied: I love you, too.

Miranda got ready to go and pick up Tuck. As she walked to her car, her phone started to ring. She picked it up, smiling. "So my mom is cooking?" She asked bypassing pleasantries.

"You know her," Ben confirmed. She smiled and nodded. She definitely did know her mother. They were so much alike. "Oh, and we already picked up LT by the way."

"Really?" Miranda asked.

"Of course. And Jazmin is here, too, if that's okay."

"Ben, nothing could be better," Miranda said. The smile on her face was genuine and appreciative. He was so quick and proactive; it kept her on her toes. "I am on my way."

"Good. I can't wait to see you." Miranda slid her finger across the "End Call" button and buckled her seatbelt, heading in the direction of her house. She walked up the stairs to her front door and quickly imagined what the scene behind it would reveal. A house smelling of her favorite foods: fried chicken, candied yams, macaroni and cheese and potato salad? A boyfriend idyllically helping out her mother in the kitchen? Her son and his friend sitting in the living room playing video games, comfortable? She unlocked the door and eased inside.

"Well, I really think that you should tell her," Ben's voice said coming from the kitchen. Miranda walked toward his voice slowly and carefully, eavesdropping, something that she never actively sought out to do.

"I will when I am ready," Elena said, hurriedly.

"I can't keep secrets from her."

"No one is asking you to."

What are they talking about? Miranda thought. It must be something serious if they were whispering. In the background, Miranda could hear the familiar sound of chicken frying between their whispering. She was about to walk into the kitchen when she heard silence. Neither one of them was speaking. She listened and heard a sniffle that made her heart drop into her stomach—her mother was crying. Was it her parents' marriage? Or her mother's health? Or her father's? "She can help you, Elena. Trust her."

Miranda had had enough. She straightened her spine and walked into the kitchen. She watched her mother turn toward the stove and her boyfriend jump away from the older woman and walk toward Miranda. "Hey, baby."

"No," Miranda answered.

"Mandy, don't be rude," Elena said with her back still to her daughter. Miranda resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"What do you mean 'no'?" Ben asked touching her waist. The touch seemed cold and redirecting. She backed up. "Miranda?"

"I heard you two talking. What were you talking about? What's happening? What do I need to know? Mama? What's going on?" The questions came out of her so fast and she had plenty more.

"I think I'm going to go upstairs and check on the kids," Ben said while eyeing the two women. They ignored him. Miranda would talk to him later. Right now, she just needed to find out what the big secret was. He eased out of the room, probably relieved that Miranda didn't address his part in the whole conversation.

"Mama?" Miranda said taking a step in her mother's direction. She saw her mother's watery brown eyes and felt tears in her own. She almost wanted to laugh; she didn't even know why she was crying.

"Miranda, it's nothing."

"Please give me a believable lie," Miranda scoffed.

"It's nothing. Really."

"If I buy your answer of 'nothing' and find out sometime down the road that it is something, I won't ever forgive myself, mama. So… just tell me."

Elena listened. "Okay. Fine. Calm down, Mandy." She closed her eyes before sitting down. Miranda's heart dropped further down. Whatever Elena was about to say, Miranda decided she had to be ready for. She sat down across from her mother. "Miranda."

Miranda looked at her mother and held onto her warm hands. Miranda's thumb moved back and forth on them. She could feel several wrinkles on her mother's skin and the lines on her palm. Miranda listened to the silence for what seemed like a long time. She could hear nothing and everything at the same time. When Elena didn't say anything else, Miranda opened her mouth: "You gotta say something. You're scaring me."

"Me, too."

"What is it?"

"I'm having… symptoms," Elena said suddenly.

"Symptoms. Symptoms. What does that mean?" Miranda asked. She licked her lips slightly and looked at her mother. Elena mother was her rock, the strong pillar of their family. There had only been a few times in Miranda's life when she'd seen her mother crying; she could count them on her hand. The day her grandfather died, Miranda found her mother sobbing silently in a closet. When Miranda was a teenager, Elena and William had tried for another child. Three months into the pregnancy, the baby had been lost. For a month, her mother had moved around the house solemnly. One day Miranda had caught her having a breakdown in the bathroom. And that was it. "Of what?" Miranda's mind raced. Cancer. Stroke. Heart Disease...

"I think I'm pregnant," Elena said.

The house seemed to inhale, sucking up the remaining sounds around them. Miranda looked at her mother. "What?"

"I'm pregnant."

"But…" Elena stood up to check on the chicken. Miranda wasn't sure how it hadn't burned. It felt like they'd been sitting at the table for years, never mind only thirteen minutes or so.

"I took a test. It was positive." Miranda ran her hand through her hair. Pregnant? "I was going to go to my primary, but I figured I'd come out to Seattle to visit my doctor daughter and have her confirm what I think I already know."

Miranda laughed. "I have to admit, I'm both confused and relieved." She smiled. "And a little mad that you nearly gave me a heart attack."

"You need a course on how babies get here?" Elena asked pointing the long fork at her daughter. Miranda shook her head and began to laugh maniacally. "What's with the laughter?"

"Nothing. Congratulations?" Elena waved her off. "I can't believe you told Ben before you told me."

"I did not tell him. He guessed and I couldn't deny it."

"Hmmph!" Miranda stood up and grabbed some wine from the refrigerator and a glass from the cabinet.

"You picked a good one."

"Yeah, he's okay," Miranda agreed. Her smile widened as her heart stopped racing in anticipation of earth-shattering news.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Aren't you going to say, uh, 'Mama, you're too old to be…' or 'Mama, does daddy…'?"

"Mama, you're too old to be… Does daddy…?" Miranda asked playing along.

"I know I am, but I don't know. I guess the old saying is true—stuff happens," Elena said pulling chicken out of the hot pan and into an empty dish. "And, no, he doesn't."

"You're just all about secrets, aren't you?" Miranda asked waving her finger at her mother.

"Just fit me in at the hospital, run the dang tests and do your job." Miranda shook her head as her son ran into the kitchen.

"Hey, mommy!"

"Hi, baby," Miranda said rubbing his head.

"Ben said he didn't hear World War III, so it was safe to come downstairs," Tuck said running out of the room.

Ben moved behind Miranda and settled his hands on her shoulders. "You're so theatrical," she told her boyfriend as she pushed him away.

"Hey, I just didn't want us to get caught in the crossfire," he said kissing her cheek. He backed up to the doorway and called to his niece.

"Coming!" Jazmin said. Miranda heard the girl jog through the house. "Hi, Dr. Bailey!" She hugged Miranda.

"Hello, sweetie," the General surgeon responded.

"The chicken is almost ready, who's ready to eat?" Elena asked with her back to the four of them. Miranda exhaled deeply and surveyed the room. Twenty minutes ago, her heart had been racing, expecting terrible news. Now she was just glad everything was okay. They sat down to eat and after Jazmin and Ben left, Tuck retreated up the stairs leaving Miranda and Elena in the kitchen alone. "You're not mad?" Elena asked.

"Why would I be mad?" Miranda smiled at her mother who shrugged. "Oh, because now I won't get all of the Christmas presents?"

Elena laughed. "Yeah. And you won't be my only baby anymore."

"I think I'll manage, but I'm not mad. I'm surprised for sure, but mad? No." Miranda started to put away the dishes that Tuck and Ben had washed.

"Maybe 'mad' isn't the right word. Concerned, maybe?"

"Only for your health." Her mother sipped some of her tea.

"Think I could actually have a baby?"

"Let's just get you checked out, yeah?" Miranda said. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Elena repeated. She hugged her daughter and walked out of the kitchen. Miranda took her phone from her pocket and called Ben.

"Hi," she said when he picked up.

"Hey," he responded.

"Are you asleep?"

"Naw. I was waiting for you to call."

"Why?" She asked letting out a little laugh.

"I wondered when you were going to yell at me and the time has come, hasn't it?" Ben said.

"No. I'm not going to yell."

"Good because I didn't know. I guessed—jokingly."

"Really?" Miranda stood up and turned on the light over the stove and turned off the light shining on the entire kitchen. She walked up the stairs. In her room, she didn't bother to turn on the lights, she moved to her dresser and started to take off her jewelry.

"Yeah, I saw that she was a little down. I thought maybe she was tired from the trip, maybe hungry, but then I asked and then her eyes started to water and I said something along the lines of: 'Am I going to get a future sibling-in-law? Ha ha.' And she didn't say anything and I was like 'Holy shit'. And then she hit me and I apologized."

He was so weird sometimes, but that's exactly what she loved about him. His humor. He made her laugh. "I thought I could, but I can't with you," she said, her laugh getting louder. Ben joined in, their laughs harmonizing.

"I'm still shocked, honestly."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted.

"Is it because my mother thinks she's with child or because my parents still have sex?" She asked putting him on speakerphone and peeling off her clothes, tossing them on the floor near her closet; she'd get to them later.

"Not the latter. Because I am assuming that we'll still be having sex when we get to their ages."

"Yeah… Probably," she said absentmindedly, climbing into the bed. She lay on her back looking up at the ceiling.

"Can I get that in writing?"

"Get what in writing?" She said, confused.

"That we'll still be hooking up when we get to Elena and William's ages."

She nodded. "My next boyfriend will probably be younger, so of course, I will."

"Very funny. You're funny, woman," he said dryly.

She laughed. "I know." The two of them talked and laughed a little longer. Miranda was always surprised that they had so much to say to each other. They spoke several times throughout the day and then they were on the phone for hours, catching up on memories from when they weren't in each other's lives and making new ones. For Miranda, it was exhausting to think of a time when Ben wasn't hers and to think of a time when she didn't call him "baby". It was maddening, but she enjoyed learning about him, like how he sometimes got eerily quiet before he dropped some big news. Sort of like it was now. Miranda was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice that her boyfriend wasn't speaking either. "Ben?" She asked, seeing if he was even still on the line.

"I'm here."

"What is it?" She said. He didn't answer. "You might as well tell me, nothing could be as big as finding out that my mother may or may not be pregnant." She chuckled, saying it out loud made it sound less fantastical than it actually was.

"I have to go to LA in a few days." She inhaled. "I have to check some apartments out, there's a tour, I have a meeting set up, too—so I have to go." Miranda turned on her side and put the phone between her ear and her pillow, getting comfortable. She stared straight ahead at her wall. On it was a large acrylic painting by an artist that she'd discovered in college, Alma Thomas. A Color Field piece with, what looked like to Miranda, a healthy pair of lungs surrounded by several pastel colors. It was beautiful and she loved looking at it. It fueled her sluggish mornings and slowed down her swift nights. Reminded her of what her life's work was. And right now, it was helping her sort through her thoughts about what she'd just heard. "Miranda?"

"I'm here."

"It's only for two days or so," Ben added quickly. "I'll go there and I'll be right back."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes, okay. It's fine. Have fun?" Ben started to speak and she cut him off. "I should probably get to sleep; I have to get up early."

Ben cleared his throat. "Got it. I'll talk to you tomorrow?" He wanted her to answer the question in his voice, but she ignored it.

"I love you," Miranda said. Her heart panged as she said it. Not that she didn't mean it. She would always mean it. But she did wonder how many "I love yous" would she get before she and Ben drifted apart. Apparently that was her thing—with Tucker, with Eli—there was always something that dismantled her relationships, to the point where they couldn't regain their momentum. She was afraid that Ben's move would be the thing. She sighed.

"I love you, too, but what are you thinking about?" Ben asked.

"Would you believe me if I said 'nothing'?"

"No, but I don't think you want me to pry right now."

"Not tonight."

"Goodnight, Miranda."

"Night." Miranda listened to the phone call end without moving. She closed her eyes, feeling them burn with exhaustion and frustration. It was that combination of feelings that made her feel so vulnerable and that aggravated her to no end. Miranda grabbed the cord to her phone and plugged it in. When she heard it beep, she settled back onto the bed, sinking into her sheets and comforter.