Ain't No Need to Worry

Miranda stood on her toes and reached up the shelves. She grunted with disgust as she came up short. "Ugh, who puts the damn pregnancy tests up on the fortieth shelf!?" She growled.

"Hey, baby, want me to get that for you?" Ben asked pressing his body against hers. She shivered as he pulled down a box and handed it to her. He leaned down to kiss her cheek. His scent intoxicated her. It made her want to turn around and throw herself onto him; which she probably would have done if she wasn't so mad at him.

"Thanks."

"I guess you didn't see my text messages this morning," Ben said turning her around.

"I did," Miranda confessed. He'd texted her: Good morning baby. And she'd responded by not responding at all. Then another one came in that said: Even though youre mad at me…I love you

"And?"

Miranda looked at him under the bright lights. "Good morning," she said. "And I love you."

"Miranda."

"Yes?" She said politely.

"Is this about me having to leave? Or is this about your mom? Or what? You gotta help me out because I am out of the loop here." He chuckled nervously. She started to walk past him and he touched her arm. "Miranda, seriously?"

"What?" He pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her. She tried to wiggle away and he tightened his grip. "Ben," she said speaking softly.

"Talk to me."

"I—" Miranda was saved by her phone going off. She was being paged to the ER. "I have to go."

"Okay," Ben said simply. He kissed her forehead and released her from his hold.

She put the tests into her pocket and walked off. She worked alongside her residents, directing their movements like a conductor of a complex orchestra. As they assessed the patient, she received a message from her mother that she was on her way, she'd called for a taxi even though Miranda was supposed to get back to the house and give her the pregnancy tests. I'll be in surgery. Miranda had written back. Another message had come in said that she was in front of the hospital. As the patient went to the CT, she walked toward the entrance to meet her. "You just couldn't wait?" The surgeon asked her mother, hugging her.

"No. I was getting restless in that house."

"You could have played with Tuck's Xbox," Miranda answered under her breath.

"Curb your tongue," Elena said laughing.

"Well, the surgery shouldn't take long, you can take the tests and wait or just go back to the house until I'm finished."

"Can I see the surgery?" Elena said offering her own option. "Can I watch?"

Miranda was shocked. "You want to?" Her parents hardly ever seemed genuinely interested her job. And she never blamed them or held it against them, but she just couldn't understand how someone wouldn't be interested in the ultimate healing process. But here Elena was, asking to see a surgery. Something that was totally against the rules. Logically, she shouldn't entertain her mother's question. Miranda shook the idea from her head.

Elena nodded. "I do."

"Well, let's get you some scrubs and up to the gallery." Elena smiled and held Miranda's arm as they walked. She watched her mother put on the light blue scrubs with such fascination.

"Mandy, what?"

"You have to remember to call me 'Bailey'," she told her mother.

"I birthed you, I'll call you what I want." The two of them giggled loudly.

Miranda stopped an intern in the hall and told them to escort "Intern Bailey" up to the gallery. "Yes, ma'am," they answered. She laughed when she remembered Norman, the world's oldest intern. Elena gave her an odd look. Miranda told her why she was laughing and Elena joined in.

The surgeon stood next to the patient and before cutting, she looked up at her mother and smiled. "Scalpel."

After the surgery, she stood in the scrub room, her mind going in more than a few directions. She smiled to herself. There was something cathartic about scrubbing in and out of surgery. She sang Aretha in her head, glad to be alone for a few minutes. If she was being honest, she would admit that she was mad at Ben for having to leave; though she was sure that he didn't really want to go even if it was just for a visit. She walked out of the scrub room and was somehow surprised to see Elena standing there. "I didn't know where to go after the surgery. That little, uh, intern?" Miranda nodded. "They dropped me off and kept going." They laughed. She hadn't spent this much time with just her mother in a long while. Elena was a funny woman. They retreated back to Miranda's office. "So?"

"Well, I figure we'll do a blood work and do pregnancy tests or just one."

Elena pursed her lips and pulled off the scrub cap she'd been wearing. "Just how accurate are these tests?"

"They're our best options short of waiting nine months."

"Okay."

"Do you have a preference?" Miranda asked her mother going into doctor-mode.

Elena shrugged. "How soon will I know?"

"Less than ten minutes for the test. The blood work will be a couple of hours, depending on the workload of the lab." They were silent. When Miranda had thought she was pregnant, she'd used a regular test to confirm; it'd been quick and relieving. But she had a feeling that her mother wanted more time. She relayed her feelings to Elena who agreed.

"I'm just a little nervous."

"Understandable," Miranda said with a nod. "Let's start the blood work."

Miranda pricked her mother and filled a small vial of blood. She paged one of her residents and had them take it to the lab, giving implicit instructions to pick it up and email the results to her. "They have given you too much control in this hospital," her mother laughed as they got in the car and rode home.

"You mean not enough."

"Oh, is that what I said?" Elena asked. Miranda chuckled. "I have a feeling that you'll be running the place before long."

"You think so?"

"I'm sure of it," Elena said giving her daughter a knowing smile.

When they arrived at her house at the end of the day, Miranda saw Ben's car in her driveway. She walked past it and saw that it was empty. "Where is he?" She said to herself.

"If he has a key, which I'm assuming he does, then he's probably inside, silly girl."

"Well, then, I'm leaving." Miranda turned on her heels and headed back to her car.

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk to him right now."

"So you're leaving?"

"Yep." Miranda unlocked her car door.

"Miranda. What in the world is the problem?"

"He's leaving, mama."

"He probably just got here," Elena said. Miranda smiled. "What?"

"He's leaving Seattle. He got an internship at UCLA. H-he'll be moving soon."

"Why didn't you tell us, Mandy? Why wouldn't you tell us?"

Miranda sat down on her stairs. "I guess doing that would make it real. And I'm not ready for it to be real. I'm not ready for him to just not be here," she gestured around her. She opened her eyes wide trying to stop the tears from falling. "And I love him so much and it's…he—" Miranda was interrupted by the door opening. She wiped her eyes.

"What are you two beauties doing out here? I'm making dinner."

"You cooked?" Elena said trying to take the focus off of her daughter's tears.

"Yes, ma'am. Spaghetti and meatballs featuring salad and garlic bread."

"Sounds delicious." The older woman stood up. "Is my grandson here?" Miranda sniffled a little.

Ben snuck a look in her direction. "He, uh, um, Tucker came to pick him up a little while ago. He said he'd take him to school in the morning."

"Of course Tucker couldn't be bothered to text me," Miranda grumbled.

"Hush, Mandy. Is my girl in here?" Elena said asking about Jazmin. They'd struck up a fast friendship.

"My sister is back in town and she picked her up from school."

"Aw, shucks!" Ben laughed as Elena continued into the house.

"Sweetheart." The hairs on Miranda's arms and neck stood up. He sat next to her. She could feel the heat emitting from his body and transferring to hers. Her skin jumped. "How's your mom? Is she…?"

"We won't know for a little while."

"Come with me."

She jerked her head back and looked over at him. "Go with you where?"

"For my visit to Cali. Come."

"I can't just pack up and leave."

"It's for a few days, Miranda." She shrugged. He bumped her with his body, throwing his arms around her. "I know you're mad at me. I can take it, but come on. You could use a vacation. Let me make this whole thing a little bit better by doing this, baby."

"I'll think about it."

"That's all I need to know."

She shook her head. "Mmhmm."

Ben's hands fell to her waist. He leaned in to kiss her, slipping his tongue into her mouth. Miranda moaned softly. "My bad."

"Stop apologizing," she said softly.

"I have to. You were mad at me."

She groaned. "Don't remind me."

He touched her face and looked into her eyes. "Were you crying?"

"Maybe a tear or two."

Ben scratched his head. She almost regretted making him feel bad. "Why were you crying? And don't ignore my question."

"Because it's starting to hit me that you're leaving."

He chuckled. "It's not for a few months, baby."

"Still," she said the tears coming back.

"C'mon in and have some dinner. And when your mom goes to sleep, maybe you and I can participate in some overdue foreplay."

"But I'm mad at you."

He shrugged. "I know, but use that energy for good." Miranda looked at her boyfriend and they cracked up. She pushed his head, making his laugh louder. His grip on her waist tightened as they looked at each other. She stood up and walked into the house, feeling Ben's eyes on body. Throughout dinner, the three of them tap-danced around Elena's possible pregnancy. They talked about everything under the sun as long as the subject didn't coincide with her mother's situation. Elena offered to wash the dishes. Miranda waved her off and started to collect them, dropping the dishes into the soapy, hot water. When Ben went upstairs to charge his phone, Miranda's own phone vibrated. She wiped her hands on a dish towel before checking it. She picked it up and saw that she had an email from one of her residents with her mother's name as the subject.

"Mandy? Are those the results?"

"Yes," Miranda said reading the message. She exhaled slowly.

Elena walked over to Miranda and took the phone out of her hand. She walked over to the sink and idly ran water. "Why are you running water?"

"Coffee," Elena answered softly. She scrolled up and down the screen some more, seemingly unsure of what she was looking for. Miranda had looked at the email and found it immediately. "Positive?" She looked at her daughter as she slid the pot into the coffeemaker. "Am I right? It's positive." The older woman's sigh rivaled the brewing coffee. "So I'm pregnant?" She set the phone on the counter.

"Seems like it." A smile fell across the woman's face. Miranda was taken aback. "Mama, is this a good thing?" Did her mother really want to be pregnant at her age? How would she feel if she were in the same position? Terrified. She almost wanted to laugh. She would be so terrified. Pregnancies were complicated enough, factoring in age was reason enough not to want to go through labor.

"I mean, it's not the worst thing I've ever found out."

"What was the worst thing you've ever found out?" Sometimes they were mother and daughter. Elena on one side and Miranda on another, but as Miranda got older, they'd become friends, sharing secrets and tales of marriage and motherhood, dreams and love. It was refreshing.

"That the only person I'd be able to sleep with for the rest of my life was your father," Elena answered. Miranda laughed along with her mother who didn't seem fazed at all.

"No, seriously."

Elena thought for a minute. "I guess I haven't heard it yet."

"I don't understand," Miranda said as she got up to pour two cups of coffee, fixing it the way they each liked.

"There is nothing that I've heard that I haven't been able to get over with prayer and with my husband. And you."

"Me?" Miranda asked putting a hand to her chest.

"Yes, you, girl." Elena laughed, sipping her coffee.

"Why me?" The surgeon stood up and warmed up two large doughnuts.

"Because as long as my family was safe, everything else just seemed so manageable," Elena shrugged. "Which is why this pregnancy is not a problem, it's just a…" She thought for a second. "An unexpected surprise." While the silence surrounded them, Miranda mused. Was she overreacting about Ben leaving? Overreacting. Was she being illogical about the whole thing? It wasn't like he wasn't ever coming back. Wasn't like he would leave and forget about her. But, she mentally argued, the distance could potentially kill their relationship, their bond. She wouldn't see him every day and their level of intimacy could drop off dramatically. She sighed. "Thinking about Ben?"

"A little bit," Miranda admitted while drinking her hot drink.

"Look at me." Miranda looked at Elena over the brim of the cup. "You two will be fine."

The younger woman raised both eyebrows, unconvinced. "You say that now."

"I'm saying that because I taught you to be strong." Miranda smiled. "And because I can't have you trying to fall apart while I'm with child. That's just too much." Elena looked at her daughter who was staring right back at her. "Now promise me, Miranda." Miranda noted that her mother's stern glare looked a lot like the one she'd given Tuck on more than a few occasions. Their smiles—identical. They laughed softly.

"I won't fall apart."

"Good." Elena stood up, dropping a hand to her stomach as she walked to the sink. "I guess I have to cut back on the coffee."

"Probably." Miranda stood up again. She put her cup in the sink next to her mother's.

"Hug?" The older woman asked holding out her arms.

"Hug." Both women wrapped their arms around the other, holding on tightly. Elena rubbed Miranda's back, soothing her. Miranda exhaled again, releasing her problems on her mother's shoulder for the night. She heard footsteps and turned around to see Ben leaning in the doorway.

"Are we okay, ladies?" He asked.

"Yes," Elena answered kissing her daughter's cheek. "And with that, I am going to bed. See you two in the morning." She strolled past Ben, squeezing his shoulder, and she walked out of the kitchen.

"Result?" Ben said walking into the room. He put an arm around her waist. Miranda pointed to the phone next to the warm coffee still in the pot.

He looked down. "Wow."

"Yeah," she sighed. "Wow." Miranda put her hands on his shoulders. She stared at him, trying to apologize for getting pissed at him for leaving and for ignoring him. There were times when she didn't even have to open her mouth; he just knew how she felt. Which was odd, their relationship, while strong, was still relatively new.

Ben smiled and leaned in to kiss her. He stopped before his lips touched hers. "I forgive you."

"Thanks."

"Although I like the thought of you being pissed at me."

"Why?"

"Why?" She nodded. "You being all feisty and hot-headed—turns me on." He wiggled his eyebrows and bit his bottom lip. Miranda hit his back with her hand. He put his mouth on hers, their lips moving in sync. Feeling Ben's tongue made her hold him tighter. She moaned softly. "What was that?"

Miranda kissed him once more and pulled away. "Okay."

"Okay what?"

"Iwillgowithyou," she said rushing the words. A part of her wanted to retract them as soon as they fell from her lips.

Ben held her arms. "To LA?"

"Yes," Miranda sighed again, feigning regret.

He grinned. "Now I don't have to wear you down."

"Like you could," she said picking up her phone and walking out of the kitchen. Ben followed behind her and pulled her to the sofa, climbing on top of her. "Unh-uh!"

His head fell into her chest and she stroked the hair at the top of his neck. "What do you mean?"

"Not down here."

"Upstairs then." Ben looked up at her and smiled giddily.

"Not with my mother in the house." Miranda reached under his shirt and lightly scratched his body.

He groaned. "But you said last time that…" He made a face to jog her memory.

"I know what I said," she pushed him off of her and wrapped her arms around his strong body. "But I am tired, I'm on call tomorrow and I am still mad at you."

He put his forehead on hers. "I'm mad at me, too." They kissed again. "Let's get to bed."