I Can Love You Like That
Tuck had begged Miranda to let him go with her to Baltimore. Making the mistake of staring into his eyes made her break down and accept. While she packed his bag for a few days, Ben called and said that he was outside. She walked to the front door and opened it to see Ben standing there with a duffel bag on his shoulder. "And where might you be going?" She asked as he kissed her cheek.
"You know what I love about you? Your warmth." She grinned. "Hello, Miranda."
"Benjamin."
"You know that turns me on. Stop it." He dropped his bag and she pointed to it. "I'm coming with you guys."
"You have too much to do to get ready for your move. Don't you worry about all of this. It's all going to be fine."
"I know that. But you're worried about Elena and I'm worried about Elena, so let's make sure she's good—together."
"You're annoying," she said over her shoulder as she walked back up the stairs.
"And handsome, don't forget handsome," he said while following her.
On the plane, Miranda was sitting between Tuck and Ben. Tuck was already knocked out and snoring lightly. "Doesn't this feel like déjà vu?" She asked putting her head on her boyfriend's chest.
He stroked her arm. "What a difference a few months make."
Miranda looked up at him and gave a half-smile that asked for him to kiss her. The kiss was soft and sweet, her favorite. They reminded her of being easygoing and having all the time in the world. "Are you going to pretend that you have no feelings for me during this trip, too?" She asked.
"Is that how you remember it?"
"It is."
"Well, you should get the story right before I leave. You don't want false memories," Ben told her. Miranda rolled her eyes and nudged him with her body. A yawn made her eyes began to water signaling that it was time to rest. A long surgery had kept her up most of the night. When she woke up, a flight attendant stopped and handed her a drink and Tuck a pack of animal crackers.
"I didn't…"
"Oh," the woman started. "Your husband did."
"He's not my…" Miranda stopped talking because the woman was gone.
"Kinda," Tuck said. He stuffed a handful of crackers into his mouth.
"Slow down," she warned. "Kinda what?"
"He is kinda your husband."
"Who Ben?" Tuck nodded slowly. "I… he… Just eat your crackers." He laughed her laugh and she joined in.
"Hey, what's so funny?" Ben asked sliding by them back to his window seat. Miranda couldn't respond through the laughter. She just shook her head and pulled out her phone swiping through it. Getting off the plane, Miranda and Tuck stood by the front of the airport as Ben purchased a rental car. Tuck was attached to her hip, his head practically in her armpit. She wondered if she should have told him about her mother's decision. Though mature for his age, he was still a kid. Glancing at him made her happy that she had only paused when it came to his birth. Paused. Miranda and Tucker had tried for ten, long years to have a baby. The process was exhausting and it tested her body and her faith. And even when she managed to get pregnant, she still hesitated. She had to stop and think if what she wanted all those years was the right thing. Miranda had been so happy to grow the human, but there were days… So, she definitely understood Elena's perspective. She'd been there. Ben came around with the car and the three of them headed to her parents' house. After their greetings, the fellas went out to get some food, leaving Miranda and Elena alone to chat in the living room.
"Are you mad at me?" Elena asked once the door closed. "Disappointed?"
"No, mama," Miranda answered.
"Good. I can take a lot of things, but I couldn't take that." Miranda gave her a reassuring smile. "Thank you for coming."
She grabbed her mother's hands. Happy for their friendship. "Of course."
There wasn't much else that needed to be said and Miranda understood that and fixed them some tea. "So, when is Ben leaving?"
"Um, two weeks, three weeks, something like that," Miranda said. Hearing the short amount of time almost made her sad. Something so fiery and so brilliant was about to be reduced to phone calls and video chatting. "Yeah, that sounds about right."
"Is he ready? Are you ready?"
"He may be, but I'm not. Though I probably won't tell him that."
"Why not?"
"It won't change anything or make his leaving any easier." Miranda put her mug to her lips. "I just need to be supportive."
"You are so wise," Elena replied, winking at her daughter.
William, Ben and Tuck walked into the house, their energy bouncing off of the walls. "We got pizza!" Tuck shouted.
Ben kissed Miranda's cheek. "Tuck told me why you two were laughing on the plane." She blushed. "Folks always think that we're married."
"Only because we're of a certain age," she told him. Elena followed her husband and grandson into the kitchen and Ben sat next to Miranda on the sofa. "I'm so tired."
"You can go up and lie down if you want."
"I think I will," she said with a nod. "Let me go and say goodnight to everyone." Miranda puckered her lips and Ben gave her a quick kiss. In the kitchen, she said: "Hey, y'all, I am done for the night. I'm going to take a slice up to bed."
The pizza was still hot as she walked up the stairs eating it. Before getting into bed, she took a quick shower to wash off the airplane stench. The comforters swallowed her as she drifted. In the morning, Miranda and Elena went to a highly rated medical center. They spent a few hours there and when they stepped out of the building, Elena was no longer pregnant. The women drove through town in search of an edible pick-me-up. Stopping in front of a candy shop, Elena turned to her daughter. "Let me tell you something."
"Okay."
"Don't be afraid to voice what you need in your relationship." Miranda breathed slowly. "Alright?"
Miranda nodded, taking in the advice. "Yes, ma'am."
Walking into the house after their day, Elena said: "We brought candy back for you boys."
"Yay!" Tuck screamed running toward them.
"Slow down, LT," Ben said from behind the child. Tuck did as he was told and stopped in front of his grandmother with his hands out.
"Thank you, Grandma." He hugged them both and hurried off to eat it.
"Wash your hands!" The surgeon called after her son. Her mother smiled and Miranda could swear that she saw a look in her mother's eye. She touched her arm gently.
"What about me?" William asked and Miranda watched her mother give her father a bag of candy. "Is this sugar-free?"
"Yes," Elena responded. "You'll like it. I promise."
"Smells like plastic," William grumbled.
Miranda smirked and walked into the living room. "You have something for me, my love?" Ben whispered in her ear as she sat next to him on the sofa.
"Yes," she told him, putting her mouth to his chin, her lips prickled by his beard. She brushed her lips quickly.
"Is it time for me to shave?"
"No, no, no. You know I love the hair on your face." He blushed a little. "Here you go." Miranda handed him a small bag.
Ben opened it and pulled out a red and green gummi worm and offered her a bite. She bit the red half and he popped the green half into his mouth. "Thank you." Miranda and Ben offered to make dinner. They cooked together, moving around the kitchen that her parents had shared for nearly half of a century. He reached around her and tossed some butter onto the rice. Miranda pulled open the oven and checked on the chicken. "It needs about ten more minutes," he told her. She closed it and leaned against the sink, looking around. There were so many memories floating in her head starring her mom and dad dancing, actually dancing, in the same room. Her parents' love was so special, but she felt it. They showed her what it meant to be in love and happy and satisfied. She wanted that for herself. She wanted that for Tuck. It had once been at her fingertips and then it had been destroyed right before her eyes. "What are you thinking?" Ben asked.
Miranda debated making something up, but he'd know she wasn't being truthful. And the last thing she wanted to do was start an argument. She lifted her pointer finger telling him to come near. Her hands massaged his shoulders and she pulled him close. "This is the spot where I can remember seeing my parents kiss for the first time. It wasn't a sexual kiss, but it was the first sign of true intimacy that I can recall." Ben leaned in and kissed her softly. Tuck walked in and Miranda tensed up. Ben held her waist, relaxing her. The boy asked when dinner would be ready, staring at them. "A few minutes," Miranda told him. "Tell Grandma and Grandpa that dinner is almost finished. Go and wash your hands please."
"Okay."
Miranda sat between her father and son as they had dinner. Her heart swelled. The last time they were all together, her life had nearly spiraled out of control, the time before that, her father had been in the hospital and her mother had been a wreck. Now, they were all content and happy. "Ben, you did a fine job on dinner," Elena gushed.
Miranda blew air from her mouth. "I guess I wasn't in the kitchen, seasoning things and whatnot," she said.
"Probably more 'whatnot' than anything," William added beneath his breath. His daughter tossed her napkin at him. Tuck giggled. "Now, chefs, what's for dessert?"
Ben looked at Miranda with wide eyes. "Um, what's for dessert, Ben? Since you did all the work?" She asked.
"Well, we didn't make dessert," he said wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"Don't start with the 'we' now," Miranda responded. Everyone at the table laughed. "But I did buy some ice cream and a whole bunch of toppings to make sundaes." Tuck ran into the kitchen with William behind him. "We can have dessert and watch some TV."
"Good idea," Elena said walking around the table. She hugged Ben and kissed Miranda on the side of her head before going into the kitchen.
Ben got up and sat in an empty seat to Miranda. "I thought that whipped cream was for us," he whispered. He rubbed his nose against her cheek turning her on.
She pushed him away playfully saying, "Not in my parents' house. I don't even want to think like that… here."
"So, back home?"
She cut her eyes at him. "Mmm. Maybe." Miranda leaned in and put her lips on the corner of his mouth.
"You missed." She rolled her eyes and kissed him again. He held her. "That's better." In bed later that night, she turned toward a lightly snoring Ben. She tapped on his firm arms. "Yes?"
"Nothing."
He laughed and turned around, propping his head up on his hand. "Nothing, huh?"
Miranda moved her hand from his arm and began stroking the side of his face. "You know the last time we were in this bed, we were 'just friends.'" She made quotation marks with her fingers.
"I remember. I remember. I worked hard that trip." He chuckled and Miranda turned away from him with a huge smile on her face. "I'm kidding. There was no real plotting on my part."
"Right."
"I'm serious. I was being a good friend." He climbed over her, their faces just inches apart, like he'd done so long ago.
"Such a good friend that you hopped on plane, helped out my family, slept in a bed to comfort me and kissed me?"
"You caught me." He shoved his face gently into her chest. "I wanted you then. I want you now. Happy?"
"Ecstatic," she said inhaling as he pushed her shirt up. Miranda wiggled his hands away. She was glad they were leaving in the morning because she wanted him, too.
"Fine," he said with a smile. "Turn over."
"Ugh, I don't like sleeping on my left side," she whined as she rotated.
"What does it matter if I'm holding you, huh?" Ben asked. He kissed the back of her head.
"Jerk," was the last thing she said before falling asleep.
Miranda, Tuck and Ben said their goodbyes to Elena and William. Her father walked with Ben and Tuck outside. "Thank you for coming," Elena told her. She grabbed her daughter's hand and kissed her cheek.
"Stop it, mama," Miranda said through a warm and sympathetic smile. "Anytime. You and dad have sacrificed so much for me. It's the least I can do." Miranda hugged her mother and walked to the rental car, hugging her father once more before they pulled away.
When they got back to her house, Tuck collapsed on the sofa and Ben gave Miranda a kiss before leaving for the night. She watched him pull off, locking the door behind him and going up to her room to sleep. Her ringing phone woke her up. Yawning, she said, "Hello?"
"Good morning," Ben said cheerily.
Miranda looked at the time. "It's early."
"It's 11," he laughed. "But I know you consider that early."
"Then, why are you calling me?" She scrunched up her comforter and pushed it beneath her face. "Don't you love me?"
"Very much so. And I know you're off today."
"I am. That's why you should let me sleep."
"No," he chuckled. "That's why I want to take you and LT to breakfast."
"Mmm," Miranda said with a smile. "We accept."
"Good. I'll see you in an hour?"
"An hour is fine."
"I'll send you the address."
In the shower, she exhaled a groan under the hot water. She massaged her body, her hands slipping on her skin. Wrapping a towel around her body, she stepped into her room and dried off, taking her time. She'd agreed to an hour, but Ben knew her style. Miranda put on some underwear and pulled on her robe. A huge smile adorned her face when she walked to her son's room. Tuck moved in his sleep and ended up facing her. He was such a beautiful boy. And the absolute light of her life. She walked over to him and sat on his bed. A gentle touch on his shoulder woke up him.
"Mmmm… Good morning, mommy."
"Good morning, LT."
"Mommy! You don't call me that," he giggled.
"I know. I was trying something new. What do you think?" Tuck shook his head. "Fine. What should I call you then?"
"Your favorite son."
"You are my favorite son," Miranda replied. "So, Ben wants to take us to breakfast. Would you be up for that?"
"Yes!" He threw back his covers and hurried out of the bed, giving her a quick hug before going to choose his outfit.
Miranda watched him in awe. She loved that he was growing up, but something deep inside of her wanted him to continue being her baby. In her room, she put on a pair of blue jeans and slightly oversized, V-neck, button-up burgundy sweater. Tuck bounced into her room declaring himself to be ready. "Teeth."
He smiled sheepishly and left to brush his teeth. Miranda did the same. She applied some makeup and slipped on some earrings. "Ready! For real this time."
"Okay, let's go!"
They headed to the restaurant. Miranda tried to perk up, but without her coffee, she was mostly a shell. And, thank God, she didn't have to work until Monday. She had two days to recover from her trip. Ben saw them at the door and walked over to them. "Good morning, you guys." He gave Tuck a high-five before hugging Miranda, smoothing her back. It reminded her of the shower she'd taken earlier and she could feel her body react. Ben ushered them to a table just as the waiter brought them some water and orange juice.
"This is nice," Miranda said drawing out the words.
"Can we have some coffee, please?" Ben asked.
"Of course, sir. Do you want to place your orders now?" They asked.
"We need a minute," Tuck answered before either adult could respond. Miranda looked at him and grinned.
"No problem."
When the waiter walked away, Ben asked Tuck if he was paying for the meal. "My mom has money," the boy said cracking up.
"Unh-uh," Miranda drinking some of her juice. While it was sweet, it didn't give the jolt she needed. When the coffee came, she practically dove into the cup. "Thank you!"
The three of them placed their orders and talked while they waited. "Can I taste your coffee?" Tuck asked.
Miranda shook her head. "No, you cannot." Tuck shrugged and picked up a crayon and started to color.
Ben smirked. "So, how was your night?"
"You saw us last night," she reminded him.
"Just being polite." He reached across the table and touched her hand. Miranda looked between their hands and her son, in a world of his own.
"I'll play. We had a great night. Very restful. Thank you for asking. How was yours?"
He leaned over. "I missed you." She raised an eyebrow, in awe of how openly loving he was. "Maybe I can come over tonight?"
"I'll think about it," she teased.
After breakfast, the three of them went to the park. As Tuck and Ben put up shots, Miranda called Tucker. "Hello, my beautiful ex-wife."
"Hello, ex-husband."
"Ahh, I see. You were having trouble coming up with an adjective."
"No, I—"
"Handsome, good-looking, pleasing…"
Miranda chuckled. "I said what I meant. Look, Ben is leaving soon and…"
"You want me to take the boy for the rest of the weekend?"
"Yes, my charming ex-husband." She laughed and turned around to see Ben two feet away. "Just say yes."
"Yes."
"Um, I'll text you when he's ready. Thanks."
"No problem."
"Bye."
"Bye."
"Charming, huh?" Ben asked. She saw that Tuck was still shooting.
"It was a verbal bribe, Benjamin. It meant nothing."
"I'm not worried about you, baby. I'm worried about him. He doesn't have the best track record."
Ben hugged her as they laughed before he ran off to rebound for her son. What were they going to do without him? "Stay lower as you turn the corner," Ben was saying when she turned around to watch them. Tuck did as he was told. "Yes!" Ben clapped his hands as the boy put up a short jumper. "Make sure you set your—yep! Just like that." The ball went through the net again.
The biggest smile appeared on Miranda's face as she grabbed them some water from her trunk. When she returned to the court, she asked: "Are you two almost finished?"
"Yes, but, mommy, watch this!" Tuck called out. He did a few moves and put up a three-pointer. He turned to look at her, walking away.
She watched the ball going through the hoop and was utterly impressed. "Great shot."
"Just like Damian Lillard," Tuck said keeping his hand up. Her two favorite boys chattered from the court to the car. Tuck slid into her backseat, guzzling his water.
"Wow, I need to go and change," Ben told her. He kissed the side of her neck.
"Eww!" She said pulling him closer. He rubbed his sweat on her forehead. "Stoooop, Benjamin." Her laugh betrayed her.
"I have to go in and get the rest of my stuff from the hospital. I'll call you later?"
"Yes." Ben put his arms around her waist and raised her to her toes. "Thank you for breakfast. We appreciate it." She knocked on the window and Tuck opened the door and held out his hand for Ben to shake.
"See you later, Ben!"
"See ya, LT."
Ben kissed her one more time and walked to his car. Back at home, Miranda chilled on her bed while Tuck took a bath. He ran into her room, his clothes sticking to his wet body. "Did you forget to dry off?"
"No," he said giving her a smile.
"William George…"
"I forgot," he admitted.
"That's okay. Go change. And dry off before you do, please."
"Yes, ma'am."
Her phone buzzed with a text message from Tucker asking if Tuck was ready. She swiped her finger across her keyboard: Yes. He's ready. She walked into her son's room to see him half-dressed. "So, your dad is on his way to get you."
He put his head down. "Okay." Did she detect sadness in his voice?
"You don't want to go?" He shrugged and put on a shirt. "Tuck?"
"Ben is leaving soon, right?" She nodded, hoping that it would force the lump in her throat to disappear. "I want to spend some time with him."
"Mmm. Okay." She thought for a second. "How about if we see if he can pick you up from school one day this week?"
"Yes!" Tuck said perking up. Miranda sighed, happy that he accepted her idea. The doorbell rang and Miranda went down to get it.
"Where's my boy?" Tucker asked stepping into the house.
"He's coming down."
"Aye, I want you to remember this when my baby is born."
She rolled her eyes. "You can manage."
"Mmm-hmm. Remember." He tapped the side of his head with his pointer. "Tuck! Let's go, son."
"Coming!" Tuck dashed down the steps. He pulled her down for a hug, squeezing her tightly. "Bye, mommy."
"I love you," she said kissing his forehead.
"Love you."
Tucker gave her a wave and followed their son out of the door: "Bye, Mandy."
"Bye." All alone with no place to really go, Miranda decided to take a bath of her own. Sitting in the warm water, she heard her doorbell ring. It was most likely Ben, but he was extremely early. He hadn't even called yet. Getting out of the tub with soap still on her body, she threw on her robe and headed downstairs. Looking out of the peephole, she saw Maggie pacing back and forth. She opened the door to let the woman in. "Pierce?"
"I'm sorry for disturbing you," Maggie said stepping into the house.
"You're not disturbing me."
"Your body is totally wet, I either pulled you from the shower or a bath—baths are a time for relaxing and I ruined that for you. I'm sorry. I should go."
Miranda smiled a little. "Calm down. Come in." She guided the woman into the living room. "Is something wrong?"
"You know about my crush on Karev."
"I know no such thing."
"Bailey…" Maggie said.
"Fine. Let's say I do, what about it?"
"And let's say he's no longer taken."
"Okay." The woman was speaking in riddles. Miranda didn't want to solve a puzzle right now. "I'm going to get some wine. You want?" Maggie nodded and Miranda stood to get the drinks. Back in her living room, she settled into her sofa and said: "So?"
"So. The facts are that I like him, but I don't want people blaming the demise of his relationship on me."
"Trust me, the majority of people already know the truth." She sipped her wine, pushing her hair off of her wet shoulders. "It's already out. Besides, people will talk whether or not you pursue your romantic interest."
"That is so true," Maggie replied. She gulped the wine, holding the glass close to her body.
Miranda was afraid she'd be cleaning up broken glass if Maggie's nerves weren't subdued. "I… well, I don't think it's anything that you have to worry about."
A knock on her door made the women look at each other. "I'm sorry. You were expecting company, I'll get out of your hair."
"I wasn't expecting company for a while," Miranda said.
She got up and looked out of the peephole to see another uninvited person in front of her house. "Oh, my goodness," she laughed.
"Who is it?" Maggie asked.
Miranda made a face and opened the door and Alex burst through the threshold. "Bailey! Hey! You're here."
"Where else should I be?" She tightened her robe. He shrugged. "I guess people really don't call before they come anymore."
"Yeah, sorry, but I'm on lunch," he stated. "I have something to run by you and Warren. He here? He told me to meet him here."
"No, he isn't."
She walked back into the living room and he followed. "Oh! Pierce! What, uh, what are you doing here?"
The curly-haired woman shook her head. "Just chatting with Bailey." Karev nodded. "Having girl talk. You know talking about girl… stuff. What are you doing here?"
"I just need to talk to Bailey and Warren when he gets here." The two of them stared at each other. Miranda rolled her eyes and wandered into her kitchen, saying that she needed to get some more wine. Peeking from the doorway, she watched as Alex sat down as far away from Maggie as he could. Miranda called Ben, shaking her head in disbelief. She had not one, but two houseguests. This was precisely why making friends was definitely on her not to-do list; it was tasking.
"Hey, babe," Ben said when he answered.
"Where are you?" She asked, sitting down at her kitchen table.
"Hello to you, too," he laughed.
She lowered her voice. "There are two guests in my home. Both uninvited and one is looking for you."
"Damn, I meant to call you, babe. I'm sorry." She made a noise. "I told Karev I would be there—I'd planned to be there. You hungry? That's why it's taking me so long." He waited, probably with a smile on his face.
"Yes, I'm starving," she chuckled. "Just get here. I'm naked and wet and—"
"My foot is on the gas."
"I do not like the sound of that."
"I'm kidding, but I'll be there soon, sweetheart."
Butterflies tingled the inside of her belly. Leaving the kitchen quietly, she saw that Alex had moved closer to Maggie, they were now on the same sofa, whispering. She cleared her throat and they looked at her, blushing. "Ben is on his way."
Alex looked at his watch. "If he's not here in the next five minutes, I'll just tell you and you can relay the message."
"You could just tell her now," Maggie said. Miranda looked at her friend and saw that her hand was on her former intern's leg.
Miranda held up her hand. "I'm going upstairs to change. I'll find out later." With one foot on the first step, she said: "Please remember that you two are guests, uninvited guests, in my home." The other two laughed. "I'm trusting you," she added over her shoulder. In her quiet bedroom, she sat on the edge of her bed and sighed before disrobing and properly drying her body. Taking her time, she applied lotion and slipped into a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt on top of her mismatched underwear. While putting her perfume on, Ben came into the room.
"There you are."
"Why is everyone surprised to find me in my house?" She shook her head while rubbing her wrists together.
He laughed and walked over to her, moving behind her, putting his face next to hers. She would not admit to just anyone how much she loved their subtle moments—maybe even more so than their intense, intimate ones. Their lovemaking was great, truly remarkable, but the filler moments—that did it for her. They stimulated her. "Mmm, you smell good."
"Sweet talker," she said turning around. "Is Karev gone?" He nodded. "What about Pierce?"
"They left at the same time," he confirmed.
"I'm not surprised. What was his message about?"
"He said that since we're undefeated, we get a bye into the tournament, so we're already into the second round."
"Thank, God." Miranda put her hand on Ben's chest. "I regret letting you all talk me into playing. I'm exhausted."
"Ahh, you know you love it."
"I'll love it even more when it's over." They cracked up. "What's for lunch?"
"Pasta." His arms swallowed her body and she caught a whiff of his own scent. The man always smelled so damn proper. She took a deep breath. "Ready to eat?" He asked kissing her forehead.
"I suppose," she said. In the kitchen, Ben pulled out her chair as she sat down. "Thank you." He put two plates on the table and opened a large paper bag and took out two containers. "Oooh!"
"Right?" He grabbed a fork and directed it at her. "Chicken and shrimp alfredo or penne vodka?"
She couldn't decide. She wanted both. "I'll start with the penne vodka, but don't eat all of the other one." Miranda smiled at him, picking up her glass of wine. "I want that one, too."
Ben chuckled and shook his head. "I knew you were going to say that." At her kitchen table, they conversed freely, gossiping about her house guests, making predictions. "They kind of remind me of us," he told her.
"What do you mean?" Of course, she knew what he meant, but it would soothe her soul to hear him describe it.
"Our chemistry…" He picked up her hand, their fingers interlocking semi-clumsily. "The way when we met, you were unavailable and we became…"
He searched for a term that was already on the tip of her lips: "Friends."
"Best friends," he added.
Miranda pushed her thumb against his palm. "I thought you said we weren't best friends. That I was your lady."
Laughing loudly, Ben tapped his fork against his plate. "I did say that, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did."
"Well, I was mistaken."
"Were you?"
"I mean, it happens so infrequently, it's easy to miss." He looked over at her and she tilted her head just a little. She wanted to tug his arm and pull him closer to her, wanted to push her body against him. "Miranda?"
"I asked if you wanted more."
"Just a little bit," she responded while standing up to get more wine. "You want some wine?"
"No, but I will take a beer, though. If you don't mind." She looked in the fridge and pulled out a Heinken, cracking it open before putting it in front of her boyfriend. "Thank you."
"No problem. Thank you for lunch. And dinner because I will be eating that later." She winked at him.
"What are you going to do without me?" He laughed.
Her heart thumped. She'd asked herself the same question multiple times, never really coming up with an answer. "I just don't know," she replied. Miranda tried to give a smile, but he saw right through it.
"What's the matter?"
She shook her head. "The wine is making a little… She flapped her hands about. "I've had three glasses already." A nervous chuckle escaped. Maybe he would chalk it up to her being tipsy.
"No, it's more than that." He stared at her, waiting patiently.
"If I tell you, you're going to think it's ridiculous."
"When have I ever thought that something you said or did was ridiculous?" She started to speak. "My point is. We've talked about us communicating before so… talk to me, Miranda."
"It's really nothing."
"Then…"
"What am I going to do without you?"
"Oh."
She raised her eyebrows. "Oh? That's all you got?"
"I wasn't… expecting that." He made a face and stood up, moving his chair next to hers.
"I can't need you too much, you won't be here." Ben was silent and listening. Miranda reached for his face, stopping halfway. She was so familiar with his body, always craving to touch him, loving the way he felt beneath her fingers. But they'd be apart for months at a time… for years if they lasted that long—if.
"I will come back whenever you need me to."
She scoffed, searing the roof of her mouth with the pain. "That's not logical, Benjamin."
"What do you mean?"
"By the time you realize that I need you…," she sighed loudly. "By the time I realize I need you, it'll be too late."
He took both of her hands in his, doing some body memorizing of his own. "I will do my best, Miranda." His forehead found hers. "And you know my best is legit."
Miranda didn't have the heart to tell him that it wouldn't be enough sometimes. Instead, she kissed him; kissed him softly and deeply that she almost forgot the conversation they were having. Her hands snaked across his back. He took his mouth off of hers and kissed her neck, nibbling on her. "What if we took this upstairs?"
"Yes. Unless…"
She pushed his face away. "Unless what?" He looked around. Dramatically, she did the same. "Not in my kitchen."
"You don't even use it like that," he laughed.
She joined him, hitting his chest. "That's not the point." Ben followed Miranda to her bedroom. He closed the door behind her and pressed her back firmly against it. "There's a… whole bed… right there, Ben," she managed to get out between kisses.
"I don't see anything," he laughed. His fingers traced her body, digging into her jeans and massaging her thighs. Deftly, he unbuckled her jeans and eased a hand between her legs. She opened them for easier access. "Thank you."
"Shh. Shh," she whispered. Her breaths got deeper while he massaged her body slowly through her panties. Miranda felt her body throb against the fabric. She pulled Ben in for an electrifying kiss. "Don't stop. Please don't stop."
"You want me to stop?" He teased.
"Nooo," she whined, holding her breath. "Right… there. Oh, God, don't stop." He chuckled. Kissing him again, she moved away from him and toward the bed. "Oh, that bed." He'd completed the first step by unbuttoning her jeans, she finished by wriggling out of them, leaving them at her feet. Putting her hands on her hips, she looked at him. "My turn?" She nodded, wordlessly. She was really taking in this time with him. Noticing how much he understood her and knew her and how that was even possible when within the theory of time and space, they'd just met. Stepping back into the present, she watched him take off his shirt at the foot of the bed revealing an undershirt.
"Uh, that one, too."
He ripped it off, showing most of his perfect torso. He lifted his chin. "Do you like what you see?"
"Is that a real question?" She asked, hastily. Did she? Miranda laughed to herself. "Do you, uh, like what you see?"
He bit his bottom lip and watched as it escaped, reemerging moist. Her body released its own moisture. "Yes." The answer was simple and uncomplicated.
Her shirt was next, followed by his jeans. He walked to her. "I like the flowers on your…" He pointed to her panties and they fell into each other, laughing.
Miranda pushed him and he tumbled back on the bed. She reached into her dresser for a condom, putting it beside the pillow. The pressure in her body was so forceful. She wanted to throw her body onto his, bypassing the delicate intimacy and going straight for the shambolic orgasm. She straddled his body and leaned down, conscious of the organ poking through his boxers trying to find her slot. "Yes," she purred in his ear as he took the go-ahead, reaching for the condom and ripping it open. Pulling aside her panties, he pushed down his boxers a little and eased inside of her and she moaned loudly. "Oh, my god! Oh, my God!" His lips and teeth were just below her covered breasts as he unhooked the straps. Scraping her bra from her shoulders, he sucked one breast riling her up before taking on the other and sending her into a frenzy.
"I like the squiggly lines on your bra, babe," he said.
"Shut up," Miranda giggled and continued to rock her hips on him, bouncing occasionally. His hands slid down her back to her ass and it jiggled under his touch. He gripped her tightly, pushing her onto him more. He was so deep inside of her; they always connected in a way she'd ever experienced before. No man had ever made her feel so exhilarated during sex, made her get so high off kisses and touches. The thought paralyzed her for a second.
"You're good, baby?" He asked.
She nodded vigorously. Her hands hit his chest, the pads of her fingers scaling every ripple on his body. She was damn lucky. Ben circled her nipples slowly with the tip of his tongue. She slowed her movements to the feeling. "Yes! Yes!" She cried out, mashing his face into her chest. The vibrations on her breasts told her that he was trying to speak. "Huh?" She released her grip on his head so that she could hear him, but he didn't lift his head. "What?" Miranda asked, unable to stop the pleasure she was receiving. Her hips gyrated as she moved up and down and then back and forth. She was so close to her climax and she knew Ben well enough to know that he was well on his way, too. He spoke again. "What are you saying?"
He looked up at her, his brown eyes devilish and full of hunger. "I said, 'fuck me'."
Hearing that, Miranda's body contracted on his. "Jesus Christ! I'm coming." She closed her eyes and orgasmed. A tidal wave sprang from her body; aggressive and wild.
"Shit!" He groaned. "Me, too, baby!"
Overwhelmed, tears fell from her eyes. His mouth and tongue continued to work, kissing her nipples softly. She moved on him, gently. "That was good," she said, in an effort to catch her breath, feeling like she'd run a mile. Her hands went to her hair, smoothing it back as best she could.
"I want more," he declared, grabbing onto her and flipping them. He pulled his used condom from his body and kissed down hers.
They stared at each other. "I'm ready," she said with a wink.
"Damn it, I need electrolytes!" Ben exclaimed. The couple had just come down from a high that left Miranda's toes curled and her legs wobbly. She nodded in response. Every place on her body felt sensitive. Ben had kissed and bitten and licked his way across her curves, down her spine, around her waist, not a spot on her went untouched or unnoticed. She rolled against his back, holding him. "You have worn me out, woman."
"Sounds like you need a Gatorade."
"For sure."
"I can get you one."
"Will you?" He asked over his shoulder.
"Of course." She got out of bed and put on her robe. "Do you want anything else?"
He reached for her hips. "You."
"I'm going to get your physician to write you a prescription to cure your corniness. And your horniness."
"Fine. Chips, please, sweetheart. Or a banana. A Pop-Tart, something. Whatever you choose."
"I'll be back."
When she returned, he was on his phone. "Emails," he explained. Miranda licked her lips. His honesty killed her sometimes. She trusted him implicitly and he never had to wonder if she was being truthful. Giving him the Gatorade and the Pop-Tart, he thanked her with a kiss. She lay back down, falling sleep easily. When she woke up, Miranda noticed that they were facing in opposite directions. Whenever that happened, she smiled. The old Miranda, one who was insecure in her relationship, would think of it as some kind of sign, that they were "drifting apart" or that he didn't want to be near her. She had, in fact, had that same experience with Tucker. It started with them barely having sex, then none at all. Then, they each moved to one edge of the bed, desperate to keep the chasm between them large and unfillable, except where their son was concerned. But, with Ben, she knew that the first movement that he felt from her, would have him wrapping his arms around her, curling his long body around her much shorter one. Still smiling, Miranda turned over and looked at him, putting her hand beneath her head, she began to squeeze his arms, watching her fingers make indentations in his skin. "Why are you like this?" He said stirring from his sleep.
"I can't keep my hands to myself," she crooned, poking him lovingly.
"Well, then," he said grunting as he turned, "Come over here and let me love on you."
Goosebumps instantly raised on her arms. He pulled her across the bed, holding her tightly. Kissing his cheek and raking his beard put a smile on both of their faces. "Hello."
"What time is it?" Ben asked. He put his lips on her cheek, kissing a trail down her body. She held her breath, nearing a state of lightheadedness, while he planted kisses on her brown skin, biting her softly. Between her legs, Miranda swirled her fingers on his hair, occupying her hands. She heard her phone blaring downstairs and was both delighted and pissed that it was going off. "Ignore it."
"What if it's the hospital?"
"It's still your day off, sweetheart," he argued while biting her inner thighs, not yet delving into her.
"But if it's an emergency…"
"True. But if it's not. Come back to me."
"I promise." She started to move, but he held her down, licking her button, softly. "Benjamin…"
He looked up at her, trying to look innocent. "What?"
"I'll be back."
"Fine." He crawled to the head of the bed and grabbed the remote.
Miranda grabbed her robe and threw it on for a second time, tying it. Downstairs, she picked up her phone from the table on a high. While searching for something sweet, she checked her messages. Five missed calls from the hospital, two from Scotty and one from number that was the number neighbor of Scotty's—Kevin. Slightly panicked, she called back. "This is Dr. Bailey." Please just be labor, she prayed as the phone rang.
"Hello, Dr. Bailey, it's Cameron. We have a Kevin Bell here asking for you."
"Kevin?"
"Yes."
"Okay, is he a patient or is it Aisha?"
"Aisha, ma'am."
Miranda started up the stairs. "I'll be there soon."
Back in her bedroom, she slipped into a new set of underwear, pulling on another t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Ben was knocked out. Something in her cheered victoriously; she'd worn out a monster of a man, leaving him draped in her covers and unconscious. Her chuckling woke him up. "Miranda?"
"Shhh. Go back to sleep."
"Why are you dressed? Get over here. Where are you going?"
She sat on the edge of the bed and touched his face. "Scotty is in labor and asking for me, I'm going to the hospital to be with her."
"I'll come with you."
"No, no, no. Stay here. Sleep. It's late. I'll call you in a few hours. Then you can come and keep me company." He waved her off and got out of the bed. Miranda shook her head. "Fine. Come with me. You'll regret it later."
"Probably," he jested. "But I just want to spend time with you."
"That's sweet. You're really sweet."
In the cut, Miranda slinked in her seat, fatigued. She checked the time and saw that it was going on 10:30. In front of the hospital, he said: "You go ahead in and I'll park."
"Thank you," Miranda responded sincerely. Her lips joined with his for a soft kiss that was broken up by someone honking behind them. She chuckled and exited the car, glaring at the driver behind them.
"Oh, Bailey! It's just you," Callie said shouting through the passenger side window. The women laughed as Ben drove off. Callie pulled up. "You look familiar."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
"What are you doing here? Word is it's your day off?"
"It is, but a friend is going into labor and asking for me."
"You'd better be there the next time I give birth."
"One time wasn't enough?" Miranda laughed as someone behind her best friend laid on their horn.
Callie honked back. "I'll see you."
Miranda tapped the car twice before walking off. She wandered into the hospital and made her way up to Scotty's room. "Nice of you to finally join us," the woman said. She tapped her husband who was asleep with his head on the bed. "Look who it is, Kev. The Great Dr. Bailey."
Miranda waved her off. "Girl, stop. How long have you been here?"
"It feels like forever."
"Psh, I came as soon as I could. I was a little busy." She tried to hide the rush of blushing that was attacking her cheeks.
"Doing what if I may be so bold as to ask?"
"Well, I…"
"Knock, knock, sorry, can I come in?" Ben asked peeking inside of the room.
"Or whom," Scotty added.
"Oh! Oh!" Kevin said wiggling his eyebrows. "Busy."
Miranda tightened her lips. "Shut up, Kevin," she said pronouncing every sound in each word.
Ben put his arm around Miranda's waist. "Scotty, it's nice to see you again," he told her.
"I'll be happy to see you once this baby has made its way into the world," Scotty shot back with a smile.
"Hey, man, I'm Kevin, the husband of the aggravated, pregnant woman." Kevin held out his hand for Ben.
"I'm Ben, boyfriend of the bossy surgeon." The two men shook hands.
Miranda rolled her eyes and walked over to Scotty. "Hello, to the only person I like in this damn room." The two of them talked quietly.
Scotty chuckled and reached for her hand. "Now, why did you call me?" Miranda felt her hand being crushed and cried out in pain. "God!"
Scotty smiled, "Thanks, Mandy."
"I'm not doing that again." Pulling her hand away, she shook it, making it worse. "Kevin, come over here and hold your wife's hand."
"Nah, I'm good." Kevin laughed. "She's your best friend."
"Whatever, where are the kids?"
"At the house with my mother," Scotty grunted trying to sit up.
Kevin walked by his wife and "Babe, I'm going to go and get some food. I'll be back."
"I'll walk with you," Ben added. He winked at Miranda and the two of them left.
Scotty reached out for Miranda's hand. "Thank you for coming."
Miranda pulled up a chair and sat down. "Was there any doubt?"
"Because I've seen your boyfriend. There was doubt." They giggled loudly.
"Yeah, we were a little preoccupied."
"Mmhmm. I'll bet." The women continued to gossip. "You don't have to be in the room when I'm giving birth."
"You're sure?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine with Kevin. Just stay until they're born."
"I will."
"And until they go off to college and even after—THAAAAT!" Scotty squeezed Miranda's hand making her scream. Ben and Kevin returned and the women were howling from both laughter and pain.
When Scotty's doctor walked in, Miranda immediately recognized Dr. Brown and relaxed. If there was anyone she wanted on Scotty's case, aside from the woman who'd delivered Tuck, it was Zelda Brown. The tall woman walked in, smiling, her brown ponytail bouncing behind her. "Aisha, how are you doing?"
"I'm in labor," Scotty growled.
"Are you? That's not what they told me."
Scotty's eyes flew open, panicked. "What?"
"I'm kidding. Just being funny." Everyone in the room cracked up except for Scotty. "Oh, Dr. Bailey, didn't expect to see you here."
"Yeah, Aisha is my best friend." Miranda looked over at Scotty who nodding. "So, take good care of her please."
"Of course," Zelda said. "Okay, Aisha—"
"Ahhhh!" Scotty screamed. Zelda and Miranda checked their watches, timing her contraction. They looked at each other, nodding.
"Uh, I want to check your cervix."
"Oh, that's my cue," Ben piped up. "Sweetheart, I'll be… elsewhere."
The room echoed again with laughter. "Yeah, and babe, I'm all for men being and seeing, but—"
"Just go," Scotty said. Kevin walked over to her and kissed her softly. When the men were gone, Scotty looked at Zelda who was seated between her legs. "I want to start pushing. Can I start pushing?" She panted.
"Not just yet," Zelda told her. "Soon, though."
Once Dr. Brown was gone, the two couples stayed in the room with Miranda and Kevin alternating holding Scotty's hands. When it was time for her to push, Miranda and Ben exited, promising to return once the baby was born. They headed to the cafeteria and grabbed some food before heading to her office. She sat in her chair and opened her container of food. "Thank you for coming with me," she said with a yawn.
"I'm glad I came," he said taking a bite of his cold sandwich. "I'm becoming a fan of Scotty."
She waved around a BBQ-flavored chip. "She's amazing. Everyone loves her."
"And Kevin is cool, too. We had a nice chat earlier."
Miranda raised an eyebrow and swiveled in her chair. "Oh, yeah?" He nodded with a smirk. "About what?"
"Eh, about Scotty and you." He reached over to her container and picked up a couple of chips.
"What about us?"
He laughed. "Nothing. Look, Kev knew you before, so I was just getting the, uh… inside scoop."
Miranda put down her burger and glared at him. He flashed another smile and she found herself scrunching up her face to keep from matching it. "Okay, what did he say?"
"You're smart, bossy, stubborn, yadda yadda, all the stuff I knew about you already."
"Hmm."
"Did you two talk about us?" He asked.
She leaned over and picked up one of his sour cream and onion chips. "No. We're not gossips." Ben cleared his throat. "Uh-oh. What was that for?" She asked, her voice low.
"What?"
"You cleared your throat."
"I'm not allowed to clear my throat?" She nodded and reclined her chair a little. "You got me." Ben reached for her feet and pulled them onto his lap. Slipping off her shoes, he began to give her a foot massage.
"Ooohh, yes," she moaned, closing her eyes. When she opened them, he was staring at her, his fingers kneading her feet. "That feels good. Thank you."
"You're welcome." They were quiet for a long time. Miranda could hear the happenings of the hospital outside of her door, but she ignored them. All of her focus was on the man in front of her, spoiling her, like he always did. Like she'd always wanted, though pieces of her thought she hadn't deserved it. She stared at him, waiting. "Um, so, I'm leaving in two weeks." He moved his head from side to side. "Well, eleven days."
And there it was. Ben moving to LA was all she'd been thinking about; but hearing him say it made her heart drop a little. She swallowed and kept her face straight. No tears, no tears. "Eleven, huh?" Ben switched to massaging her other foot. Her body jerked to his strong touch. She wanted to tell him she was going to miss him, but he already knew that. And she wanted to say that she didn't really want him to go, but that was selfish. Instead she said: "That'll be here before we know it."
"I know. Which is why I want to spend all of my time with you."
She sucked her teeth. "I'm sure Curt, Ange and Jaz would object."
He licked his lips and grabbed her ankles, pulling her closer, the wheels rolling across the linoleum. "I don't think so."
"Oh?"
"The way I see it, they've had me far longer than you have and I'm just, uh, just evening the score."
"You sound ridiculous."
Ben smirked, letting his hands travel up her leg. "I know, I know, but, allow me, just this once, this ridiculousness."
His hand reached her thigh, tickling her softly. "Okay," she laughed.
"Okay?" He brought her closer and she felt her gut rumble.
"Okay." She leaned in for a kiss, planting one on him that was soft. Miranda touched his face, stroking his cheek and loving the feel of his head in her hands. Halfway through their make-out session, she stopped. "I am so tired," she said putting her lips against his cheek.
"Me, too. When is this baby making their appearance?" He joked.
"I don't know, but I hope it's soon." She dropped her hands and grabbed his. They stared at each other. The silence in the room circled them. Miranda pulled in her lips and swiped them with her tongue.
"I know that look. Come here." He pulled her up and into his lap. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. "I hope that's the baby calling."
Miranda laughed while answering the phone. "Hello?" Kev started talking a mile a minute. Was everything all right or all wrong? "Slow down, Kev."
"She's here! The baby, oh, my God… she's… Mandy, she's here."
"Oh, thank God!" Her hand flew to her heart and she smiled at Ben. "W-uh, how's Scotty?"
"She's perfect. Mommy and baby are doing so great! You gotta see them, Mandy!"
"We'll be there in two minutes." She ended the call and leaned in to kiss Ben again. "She's here!"
"Let's go!"
She stood and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him out of the door. Alone in the elevator, Miranda couldn't contain her excitement and was near tears. Witnessing her friends give birth was nothing new. She got swept up in their happiness of bringing new life into the world. Kissing their significant others, whispering sweet nothings in their newborn's ear. She loved it all. Pressure against her palm brought her back to reality. The elevator bell sounded and they stepped off and headed toward Scotty's room. Ben stayed outside while Miranda went in to check out the situation. Kevin was walking back and forth with newborn. She rushed to friend's side. "My body is mine again," Scotty told her with a big laugh.
"I can see," Miranda said. "Congratulations, you two."
"Thank you." Miranda pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed. "Where's your guy?"
"In the hall, he didn't want to be intrusive." For some reason, Miranda smiled. She had a "guy" and he was caring and thoughtful.
"Well, tell him to get his ass in here and congratulate me."
"Aisha!" Miranda whisper-shouted.
The new mother waved them both off as Miranda went to the door and told Ben to come in. "Scotty, Kev, congratulations."
Scotty held out her hands and he hugged her. "Thank you, Mandy's guy."
"My God, Scotty, can you be normal for even a second?" The surgeon chuckled.
"Fine." Scotty rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Ben."
Ben nodded and slipped his arm around Miranda's waist. "Kevin, stop hogging the baby," Miranda said leaning into Ben.
"Yeah," Scotty told her husband. "Let them see the last child you're going to father."
Miranda walked over to Kevin and gently lifted the baby from his arms. A lump rose in her throat as she looked down at the baby, turning away from everyone else in the room. "Isn't that right? Daddy's just hogging the sweet baby," Miranda said in a high-pitched voice. "And Auntie Mandy just wants some one-on-one time with you. Yes, I do." She bounced the child softly. When she turned back around, the three of them were staring at her, bemused and amused. "What?"
Ben strolled toward Miranda. "So, what's the baby's name?"
"Kailyn," Scotty and Kevin said together.
"Aw, that's nice," he commented. Standing next to Miranda, he reached for the baby's fingers. "She's cute, right?"
Miranda grinned: "Absolutely adorable."
"Look at her eyes."
Kailyn was looking right at Miranda, studying her. "They're mesmerizing." The newborn shifted her eyes to Ben and Miranda looked over at her friends to see them whispering. "Don't be shy, what are you two gabbing about?"
Scotty poked her husband. "Ow!"
"Tell her," Scotty demanded.
"I won't and you can't make me," Kevin said climbing into the bed and crossing his arms.
Miranda cocked her eyebrow and stared at her friend, waiting. "Aisha?"
"He just said that you two look good with a baby. And I agree."
"Now why would you go and say a thing like that?" Miranda asked.
"Because it's true," Kevin said throwing his hands into the air. Miranda shot him a stare that made his face curl up. He raised both brows. "Damn, Mandy, if looks could kill. I thought it was a compliment."
Ben chuckled and it drove her crazy. It also made her relax. She smiled up at him. "And what are you smiling about?" She asked.
"You're the one who's smiling." Kissing her forehead, he spoke in a low voice: "You're warming to the idea aren't you?"
"Hush you." She looked around the hospital room. "You three are aggravating. Has anyone ever told y'all that?"
The room laughed, frightening Kailyn who whimpered. "Shh… shh… shhh," she whispered, easily succeeding in calming the child down. Her voice went high again. "Those loud people are bothering you, huh? Don't you worry."
When they were finished in Scotty's room, Miranda and Ben headed to an on-call room. They were too tired and delirious to drive back to her house. She kicked off her shoes and rolled onto the bed. Ben set an alarm before following suit. He curled up behind her, his breath against the back of her neck. "Kev was right, you know," he said squeezing her body.
"Yeah? About what?"
"About us looking good with a baby." She stayed silent. "You don't agree?"
"I'm sorry, do you not remember my pregnancy scare?"
He rolled over her and squeezed between her and the wall so that they were facing each other. "Do you not remember me saying that…" He took a deep breath and kissed her nose.
"That what?"
"Nothing. Good night, Miranda."
She lifted her knee to jab him lightly in the thigh. "Ay! Watch the goods, woman!"
She giggled. "Finish your sentence, Benjamin Warren. Please."
He yawned, putting his hand over his mouth so that he didn't blow his breath into her face. He touched her face. "Fine. If kids are in my future…" It was dark but Miranda knew that her brown eyes matched the passion in his. "I'd want to have them with you." Ben stroked her cheek, sliding his fingers down to her chin before pulling her in for a kiss. "Now, can we go to sleep?"
After that, she couldn't think of anything else to say, so she turned over and shut her eyes and begged for sleep, but it wouldn't come. Thankfully, she had time to catch up on rest, but now wasn't it. Miranda's brain worked overtime. Holding Kailyn with Ben over her shoulder did, in fact, bring her warmth to her heart. Could that be them someday? Would that be them someday? Ben was snoring now. His chest was against her back, falling and rising, lulling her to sleep.