A/N: Trigger warning, panic attack beginning at the * and ends at **

Chapter 2 'The Second Visit'

It had been weeks since Magenta dropped by without notice. He had gone to school the following day and sat behind her on the bus, but she made no acknowledgement of the previous night's events. He wasn't sure what to make of it, he knew for some reason he didn't want to talk about it either, especially in front of the others. He didn't get to see Magenta outside of school that often, even in the group setting so getting to have her to himself was kinda special. There were times when they made plans to go to the mall after school and she couldn't go. He chalked it off as maybe some sort of deal at home and she needed to be home at a certain time.

It was hard to think of Magenta being restricted to something or adhering to some sort of rules. She just seemed like a free spirit, especially the way she seemed to be comfortable swinging on trees and sneaking into houses late at night. And with the way she would dress, in her fishnets and her light purple streaks, he couldn't imagine any strict parent letting their kid out of the house looking like a poster child for Hot Topic or Spencers.

Nothing changed in their school interactions. But lately he had been noticing Magenta's absence during class more and more even though she continued cutting the last 20 minutes of class on the days she usually would. But it could have been just him being hyper-fixed on the girl ever since that night. Before, he was simply curious, especially with how she managed to do it- since their Algebra teacher was a robot (a literal metal and wires robot). But now considering how Magenta managed to cross his room and back without him noticing, he figured her powers had something to do with it.

Now, he just wanted to know where she was going. From what he gathered from Ethan, with whom Magenta had gone to middle school and who lived in the same area as her, the orange-clad whiz could see her already having had made it home by the time he got off the bus...

Although the Magenta equation had taken up his thoughts, Zach had more pressing issues to worry about.

The bullying issue still persisted. In fact, it had gotten bad. Real bad.

He had been targeted by that guy who could shapeshift into different people- Dwayne. Well, he was constantly teased by this dude since literally the first day of school, but it began to escalate since Homecoming. It went from making snide remarks to transforming into teachers and other figures of authority in order to intimidate him into giving him lunch money and just generally harassing him every day.

Will had tried to help him out one or few occasions, but Dwayne proved to be more devious than previously thought. Will did have the unfair advantage of superstrength and if he laid a finger on Dwayne, all he had to do was cry wolf and claim that the mighty Stronghold was beating the shit out of him. Although Will helped save the school, he was already on thin ice with the administration due to immense property damage he would often cause on a daily basis: lockers, doorknobs, gym floors, etc.. Warren even tried to come to his defense, but the same went for him too but even worse since he had a supervillain for a dad.

And he thought he could stomach what Dwayne was doing to him, he was used to getting picked on, but… he took it too far the other day. It happened after gym class and he had to face it alone. Warren was out sick, Ethan had to dash out early to catch a meeting with a teacher, and Will had been helping Coach Boomer dissemble their training course that day, and Dwayne would never try anything like what he did with Will present.

Zach slumped into his desk chair as soon as he got home, setting a glass of juice he got from the kitchen on his desk. The house was deserted since his dad was doing over time hero work with NASA at the moment and Stephanie was out running errands (she left him chicken fritters for a snack), so he was left to kind of stew over the past weeks' events.

His mood had been whack. He found himself wanting to snap at his dad rather than his usual submissive replies and he hadn't thought about his SHOUTcast, having barely thought of touching new music and he couldn't get any sleep- the P.E incident actually having had incited nightmares that woke him up in the middle of the night. He barely ate today because he had been trying to catch up on work that he put off the day before in the library.

He needed to get his mind off of things. He ambled down the stairs and popped some fritters in the microwave, hoping his stepmom's cooking could raise his spirits. It usually did. For a bit.

He often wondered what she saw in his dad, they could not have been any more different from each other. His dad was this cold, unfeeling stiff whereas Stephanie was insanely caring, doting, and always making sure he was ok (as well as fed). He was lucky that she had been so patient with him when she first came into their lives- he had a bit of a hard time adjusting to having a new mother figure at home.

The microwave dinged and he grabbed the plate (nearly dropped it- too hot!). He was gonna head to the living room and tune in to some Jimmy Neutron but remembered he forgot the glass of juice upstairs. Plate still in hand, he made his way towards his room. He set his food down on his desk, next to the Fugees CD.

It had come down to his turn to host the study group a couple nights ago, having gone through the cycle of everyone else's turn to host, apart from Magenta and Warren. And considering the latter had a part time job at the Paper Lantern and was also a sophomore so he didn't really share tons of classes with them, the resident flamethrower wasn't required to host or attend.

Zach didn't know how he managed to pull through his weird funk and ended up hosting, trying to be normal especially with the events of that day being so fresh. But it was tough with his friends there who all knew what had happened earlier.

They had all tried to help him in some way, providing a lot of solutions that often had to do with telling an adult or beating him up (an option often championed by Will and Warren and shut down by Layla)- solutions that Zach knew might give Dwayne more of an incentive to mess with him. Also since Homecoming, nothing really changed much in the way the school worked, so if he tried to tell someone- it would be a Hero's word against a Sidekick's…

Although he asked them to not get directly involved, it didn't stop them from treating him as if he was gonna fall apart any moment. Anytime he read a passage from their history textbook (to be honest it was basically a comic book) he would look up and see traces of concern on their faces, well apart from Magenta, who immediately read the following passage without hesitation.

By the end of the night, he was left feeling more dismayed than relieved. Half the reason he decided to go through hosting was that he thought having his friends there with him would take his mind off what happened- but instead it just drew more attention to the incident. The only upside was finding The Score on his desk after he walked everyone out; Magenta must have returned it during goodbyes.

He did a quick once over at his collection, but he just couldn't bring himself to play anything. His whole mood had been whack the past week. He didn't talk as much and was mostly just anticipating when Dwayne would strike. He had been so on edge that he could barely concentrate in school, let alone figure out which songs to compile in his playlist.

It was the first time in a long time that he and music were on the outs. The first time it happened was years ago, right after he lost his mom. It took a while before he even had the guts to listen to music again, since every song that seemed to come his way reminded him of some way or another of her.

His eyes drifted over to the box of records on the bottom shelf at the thought of his mom. It was quiet in his room. Too quiet. He swore the silence was doing more damage than playing a song.

Fuck it.

He took the box out and put it on his bed, which was an unkempt disaster area filled with unmade sheets and piles of clothes that he could not confidently discern which is clean or dirty. His mother's records deserved better placement, but his desk was currently holding his food. Zach then proceeded to pull out his Sony record player that had been originally his mom's. He sifted through the records to find that Santo and Johnny sleeve.

*He held the record in his hands and made a move to play but all of the sudden a familiar chill ran through his body, one that he hadn't felt since he was a kid…

The air left his body as the events from a couple days ago all of the sudden flooded his mind. He had tried to carry on but for some reason he relayed the incident in his head. He remembered feeling so fucking vulnerable then so powerless; only in a towel after just leaving the showers.

The lights. The shadow. The voice. He had remembered the running, and the slipping, and the figure towering over him in her metal armor, pointing her weapon at him, him pleading for his fucking life only for it to be met with jeering outbursts and laughs. But that feeling of pure terror, fearing for her return was real. After all Royal Pain was only imprisoned, what if she escaped, what if she came after him, his family, his friends-

He wanted to f-freakin terrify me. He m-made me relive that night

Zach's face had gotten so pale and his eyes were fixed far ahead, the nightmares of the past few nights were bubbling up again, his subconscious warping the events of homecoming- a Death Ray for a Pacifier, dead bodies instead of babies on the floor, the school falling and crushing everyone inside- his legs gave out underneath him.

He was hunched over near the foot of the bed and he began to whimper and cry. He felt his neck and shoulders tightening up to the point where they were aching and cramping. He brought his hands up to his face and saw they were jittery- Fuck- it took him a moment to register that he had dropped the album and the sleeve lay a foot away from him, pieces of the record peeking through.

Pieces. Pieces. Oh no no…

So many things were happening. A myriad of emotions spilled out - confusion, fear, embarrassment- that even now, 10 years since this had happened, he still couldn't figure out to stop his own body from acting against him… Utter despair because his mom's favorite record lay in fucking pieces at his feet. His mom. He wanted his mom… these things didn't happen while she was still alive…

Please make it stop. Please make it stop.

The chills kept getting worse, he swore the back of his neck was cold as ice- but yet he was still so sweaty- or maybe he was wet from the crying. His eyes were unfocused but it seemed to be still staring at the spot where the record fell. He swore he could hear things, but everything felt so far away.

Zach!

He heard movement behind him and then all of the sudden someone was kneeling beside him.

"Can you hear me, Zach?,"

He could vaguely register what the person was saying, he was too busy hyperventilating, the shock still fresh. There was a split second where he didn't feel anything at all, causing him to breathe more erratically than before. He could see more movement through his peripherals, eyes still zeroing in on his shaky hands. They were probably trying to figure out what to do since no one else was at home. He heard them ask again, and he tried to make a noise in response. He couldn't really talk, his mouth having gone dry from the constant wheezing.

"There, that's good. You don't have to talk. You can nod and shake your head if you want," Zach noticed the words coming at him were slow but it didn't feel condescending, more so that the person wanted so badly for him to clearly understand what they were saying, "Is it okay if I held your hand?"

Eyes still fixed on the record, he gave a weak nod. Slowly, he felt a hand grasp his. At this new touch, he held tightly, desperately needing something to anchor him to this world, and if it was cutting off circulation to their extremities they did not show it. The voice continued calmly, "Do you have medication you can take?"

"Zach, can you look at me?" He closed his eyes, causing more of his tears to make a fast track down his face. He almost let go of her just to bury his face into his hands. He heard her sigh, "I want to help your breathing, but I need you to look at me. Please?"

He sniffled and turned his head to face them.

Maj?

It was not the Magenta he normally saw. Gone was her signature stoic expression- Her eyebrows were furrowed slightly, showing she was concerned but was mostly calm. Her brown eyes held such warmth that his focus kept flickering between her face and her eyes. She was giving him a small smile and constant words of affirmation and encouragement. Previously hesitant to look at her, especially feeling so exposed at the moment, now he couldn't bring himself to pull away.

Magenta proceeded to conduct breathing exercises. In and out. In through the nose. Out with the mouth and encouraged him to follow. It took a couple cycles until Zach started mimicking her breathing patterns, "Okay. Now again, Zach. You're doing so good," she whispered, not stopping the breathing exercises until a couple minutes into starting and after he was well adjusted into breathing more normally again.

"Better?" The breathing exercises did help and stopped crying, he was slowly coming down from it. Looking at Magenta helped too, reminding him he wasn't all by himself, that he wasn't dealing with this all by himself. He watched her concern melt into relief at seeing him breathe normally. She could tell he wasn't out of it just yet.

"What else can I do to help you?"

Zach tried to think. He didn't want to keep hearing the sound of his own breathing the whole time. He contemplated whether or not he could ask Magenta if he could play something from his own collection, since music usually gave him some sort of emotional release- producing it, listening to it, browsing for it in shops. His mind was still jumbled, couldn't think of what song or artist he even could play right now. He just wanted to hear something else

"C-could-" He smacked his lips together and sniffled, "Could y-you just keep t-talking?"

Magenta cleared her throat and immediately reverted back to her reserved self. For the first time throughout trying to help Zach get through his episode, she appeared unsure, "Um… what would you want me to say?"

"Anything. J-just want to hear y-you…"

"Um… okay," she exhaled, "Uh… well I read something interesting the other day," she began and started talking about… something or another. She stumbled and paused at various moments at first, trying to fill the void, but then it turned into a full on ramble.

**She still made sure that she didn't talk too fast, but Zach was still trying to comprehend what the hell Magenta was trying to say. Even though he was collecting himself still, it then dawned on him later that it was intentional, to get him to focus on something else other than… the previous unpleasantries, something else that was so drastically different that he was more engrossed in Magenta talking than the words she was saying. Zach found himself talking more coherently without a stutter within 5 minutes into the shapeshifter's spiel, mostly to try and engage with what she was saying as to keep his thoughts from going astray.

"-and the fact that colonial and explorer-related language was centered around the feminine and themes of sexuality, it was no wonder why they feel entitled to this land they have not yet explored and-"

"Yeah, uh-huh,"

"-and it further explains why we referred to objects, not just land, in the feminine pronoun 'she'. Right?"

"Yeah, of course,"

He knew this sounded noncommittal and showed disinterest, but he was actually pretty interested in the conversation. He was more interested in Magenta speaking so freely about something she was clearly passionate about. Most of the time she was pretty sarcastic and not very expressive in her facial features, but he was watching her explain colonialism-related sexism with her hands moving about and hearing the change of inflection in her voice when she was encroaching on a heavy topic. It was nice hearing her go on and on.

He must have had that faraway look again because Magenta all of the sudden became alert, gripping his hand tighter as if to ground him again, "What..? Zach-?"

He shook his head vigorously, "Oh no no… I'm good," the blonde reassured, "It's just...I've never heard you talk this much."

Zach would never thought in a million years that it would be him sitting barely saying anything while Magenta was running her mouth. Thinking about this cosmic joke was helping him sober up even more. He became more aware of the feel of Magenta's hand in his. It was smaller but not dainty. He thought his own fingers were more slender looking than hers. He couldn't feel much skin with her wearing her striped warmers but could feel her fingers rubbing against his knuckle gently.

The touch was strange since Magenta had never been the one to engage in something so… physical when it came to interacting with friends. It was more Layla's department. Or his in fact. The one in the group who would come up with fun handshakes to do with everyone, well apart from Warren and Magenta. It was such a foreign sensation… but he didn't want her to let go.

She blinked and turned away, apparently his latest statement sobering her up too, "I'm just trying to.." she trailed off. Her grip on his hand loosened considerably before letting him go completely, "Are you- Are you going to be okay?"

He was about to say he was fine when all of the sudden his vision was swimming and his head felt like he had just finished spinning around in a circle. He tried to blink it all away and he felt himself drooping forward. Magenta held her arm out to try and steady him but his body continued to conspire against his wishes. He vaguely heard a sound coming from outside, the car pulling into the driveway.

The last thing he heard before completely passing out was Magenta shouting down his open bedroom door and down the hallway, calling for help.

Zach had woken up about some hours later in the hospital. He sat up slowly and saw his dad and Stephanie standing over his bed. Apparently, Stephanie had come home right before he lost consciousness and he was immediately whisked to the hospital. He noticed that Magenta was not there, but before he could ask the nurse had entered, having been waved down by Stephanie once they saw he was waking up.

Then came the doctor, they ran through tests and looked him over and asked him about what had happened. It took a while to try to explain, since his eyes kept switching off between looking at the doctor and looking at his dad. At the mention of the panic attack, he could see his father pinch the bridge of his nose, sighing and heading for the chair to sit down.

The doctor kept asking questions on what had possibly happened that could have triggered his episode, and that's when he told him everything (not everything since he couldn't disclose the fact he had powers and he went to a techy- high school in the sky).

But the generics- having survived a traumatic event, being bullied at school which have definitely brought up feelings of the said event, and his erratic behavior with sleeping and eating. He even told the doctor everything he did that day because it just seemed so random that he didn't have an episode immediately after the incident in the locker room but had one out of the blue when he was home alone.

Stephanie then cut in to say that she had been the one at home helping Zach through his episode when all of the sudden he had passed out after seeming to do well. Zach looked at his stepmom in disbelief and she threw a secret wink his way. They both knew that his dad was gonna bust a blood vessel for sure once he found that there had been a girl that had broken into his room. But Zach had a feeling that Stephanie might have been doing this for the shapeshifter's benefit rather than his.

The doctor went on with his diagnosis: He had an episode, and it came from extreme levels of anxiety and awful memories of the event. It took a lot out of him and since he didn't have much to eat that day. Zach mentally face-palmed himself for not having had the chance to dig into the chicken fritters.

The doctor then went onto recommending that he saw a psychiatrist, and depending on the interval between potential panic attacks- or if it would start becoming a regular occurrence- the psychiatrist might prescribe medication and/or therapy to help with his anxiety. He was then free to go after doing another check up on him and saw that he was relatively okay.

The ride home was silent. Zach didn't know how to break the silence and neither did Stephanie, she had always been able to fill the car with conversation especially after he and his dad would have a disagreement. He knew his dad didn't know how to handle this stuff, only knowing how to say stuff to him thinking it would toughen him up when it really just hurt him more.

But he remembered seeing his dad back at the hospital, he had actually looked like he aged 10 years while waiting for him to wake up. And seeing how he reacted when he heard it was another panic attack- in some odd way he knew that his dad was not upset with him. Every other time, every little thing he did he often thought his dad was gonna get pissed at him. Some irrational fear, he knew. But he just knew this time, given how hard he was holding the steering wheel as they made their way home that it was more about reliving the events following his mom's death all over again.

They pulled up in the driveway and Zach hopped out and was about to head inside when he heard his cell buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw it was a message from Magenta.

heads up. in ur room.

He heard his dad come up behind him and he immediately shut his phone close. He thought he was gonna get some stern talking to, some warning about how he needed to make sure he was eating. But all he got was a pat on the shoulder and then he watched his dad silently climb the stairs and head to his room, forgoing dinner.

"He was worried about you," Stephanie whispered, ushering him through the door, "He knew a guy that could teleport. He headed straight from work to see you."

Zach nodded, "Still surprised he's cool with the whole meds and therapy thing. He would have probably thought it was a wussy thing to do."

He heard her sigh then she put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Zach, your dad can be more understanding than you think."

He wasn't sure about that. Although, he knew his dad wasn't pissed with him. He figured his dad going through with the meds and everything was just to make anything to do with mom go away. Then he remembered the girl upstairs in his room.

"Steph, was she okay, when we left for the hospital?"

His stepmom hummed and proceeded to put her shoes and coat away, "I'm not sure I know who this 'she' you are referring to. But if I did, I can tell you that 'she' seems quite nice and very, very pretty and she looked strikingly similar to the description of a certain girl you danced with."

"Steeeeeeph," Yeah, he told her everything about Magenta in the beginning of the year. He had a big mouth and she was easy to talk to. Definitely easier to talk to than his dad. Although he couldn't really talk to her about hero stuff since she was a civilian, she was quick to understand the woes of having a high school crush.

The red haired woman laughed before kissing the top of his head and going up the stairs, bidding him a goodnight and a reminder to eat something before bed, which left Zach to steel himself before he went up to his room.

He opened the door slowly and quietly but quickly rushing in. He found Magenta leaning against his window sill, fidgeting with the strands of her large maroon hoodie. She stood at attention once he came in.

"Hey," she waved weakly.

"Hey," They stood there for a bit, trying to think of how to proceed.

"Um… I wasn't up here the whole time… just letting you know."

"Ok,"

"I had to go back home for a bit. I couldn't join you guys. At the hospital,"

"It's cool,"

He ran his hand through his hair and was still breathing heavily, more from good old fashioned awkwardness rather than the anxiety this time, "Um… Maj. About earlier. I'm… I'm sorry that you had to see that. I haven't-I haven't done that since I was a kid. And it must have been weird-"

"There's nothing to fucking apologize for,"

Zach couldn't seem to pair her words to her body language at the moment. It seemed as if she was retreating from him. Not physically since she was already on the opposite side of the room. She didn't seem to mind the emotional proximity they were having before, but it was strictly from a position of a concerned friend, Zach figured, and it was what she had to do in order to soothe him.

Now recalling her response to his episode, it dawned on Zach that Magenta reacted efficiently and calmly, as if following some sort of routine, almost as if-

"You've done this before,"

"Maybe," she shrugged. There was another shared silence before she turned to him, "Do you mind if I asked you what it was about?"

"No. No I don't mind," He looked at his shoes, "It was about Homecoming…" He saw she pursed her lips and crossed her arms, "It's stupid because I mean it wasn't all bad, right?"

"No. it's not. It's not stupid. Geez, I can't even think about it either without…" she trailed off.

The blonde was curious, "Does...thinking about it-?" He gestured to himself.

"Yeah..." she sighed, "But more like sleepless nights and wandering around the park at 3 AM. Like… it's important for me to know I'm still on the ground, you know?"

Zach was stunned by Magenta's admission. It was people like her and Warren who seemed to keep a calm, cool head no matter what. He felt stupid for not realizing before. She was the one who did save the school, that responsibility of making sure her friends didn't die fell on her. If she didn't cut the wire in time-

But it also made him feel relieved. That it wasn't just him that seemed to be tormented by that night that was seen as a victory for many.

"Does it mean, we should talk about it more?"

Magenta scoffed, "Maybe to professionals first. But yeah. We probably should bring it up… at some point,"

Zach nodded. Then he heard a beep. He brought his wrist to his face thinking it was his watch, but Magenta pulled out her phone from her back pocket and peered at the incoming message, "Shit." She stood up and jimmied his window up and was ready to hop onto the roof.

"You're leaving?"

"No, I'm straddling your windowsill for fun,"

"Um.. uh," Zach flushed at the word usage and because it looked like that was what she was doing. But he wanted to find out one more thing: "How come you showed up at my window today?"

Some expression formed on Magenta's face that he couldn't identify before she quickly composed herself, "Oh right. I… uh… forgot something here during study session. Uh, my wallet. It's fine I'll come back some oth-"

"I'll help you find it,"

Magenta made a grimace, "Right," She swung her legs back around and hopped off the windowsill.

She roamed around the room and Zach helped her look. He knew what it looked like, it was a warm blue color and it had one of Three Blind Mice on it saying 'Watch it!' in a speech bubble. Funny though, Zach thought, he would always see it hanging off a chain attached to her belt loop. He couldn't really tell if she was wearing jeans or a skirt with any belt loops though due to her oversized hoodie acting like a pseudo dress.

"Found it!" He heard all the way from… his bedside table? He was concentrating his search around the part of the room where the group would study at, towards his desk. It was always messy so everyone opted to bring out the bean bags and sit near his desk and the door. It was where Magenta left her journal in that particular spot the last time.

She emerged from stooping to look under his bed and held it up in front of her, chain-less, "Well, I-uh gotta go," Then she hurried to the window, which was still open, and sat on the sill for a final send off, "Glowworm." she saluted.

Zach, still puzzled, followed her and stood in front of her, gripping the window frame, "Maj… thanks." He didn't think he could have gotten through his episode that fast if it weren't for her.

The girl nodded and gave a brief smile, "No worries. See you tomorrow." He watched her transform into a guinea pig and run down the roof gutter until she was out of sight. She reappeared as a human across a minute later, jogging in the direction of her house and disappeared out of his view.

Zach whirled around, taking in his room. It was then he realized that the Santo and Johnny album he dropped was no longer on the floor but placed on his desk. As well as the record player. He checked the shelves and saw his box of records were returned to its rightful place. He plopped down on his chair and saw that his plate of fritters were still there on his desk too.

He munched on them ravenously, feeling immediate relief. Then he got ready for bed. About ready to turn in, he passed by the Santo and Johnny record. It was still broken. He needed to try and find another copy and somehow get money to buy said copy. He felt that twinge of sadness of not being able to play his mom's favorites, but it was something he was going to have to worry about tomorrow.

Today had been a fucking shitshow. He was pretty exhausted, collapsing on his bed by the end of it. Thankfully he wouldn't have nightmares that night. Instead he dreamt of warm brown eyes and striped warmers.