Alexis had left the nursery and walked back to her cottage. She entered through her gate and walked through the path through the flower beds on either side of it to the front porch. The swing where she loved to sit on warm nights waited but she just sighed and after opening the door, walked inside to the cozy living room where she put her bag down.

She had locked the door behind her and had checked the windows, drawing the curtains so that no one could see inside. And then when she realized what she had done, she cursed.

No, she wouldn't let what Neil told her affect her in any way. She had her life to live and wanted to keep it from getting too complicated. She walked into her kitchen to pour herself some lukewarm juice and then settled in the kitchen nook.

Alexis wanted to be strong but as much as he had hurt her, she had missed him. Walking away from him had been both easier and harder than she could have guessed, but seeing him again…no she couldn't let that change anything.

What did you do when half of you wanted to run away from a man and the rest of you wanted to reach for him and pull him close to you, skin to skin and allow him inside not just your body but your heart?

No, she couldn't think that way…there was no way for them to go back to where they'd been before they broke…and he hadn't tried. Circumstances had brought them to the same place. Not any of the million things far more complicated than that.

Marie, who ran the makeshift health clinic on the island, had left a message on her phone to join her at the party because there were some guys that would be interested in her. Alexis knew that was code speak for spending a few hours not thinking about any men left behind in their wakes and any regret that might have gone with them. She didn't know Marie's backstory just what she read in her eyes. The scars she could see lining one side of her face. Marie had arrived months before she had washed up on shore.

She dressed simply for the beach party, picking out a pair of faded denim jeans and a loose shirt along with a light wrap for after sunset, when it grew cooler. She let her hair air dry after rinsing it in the sink, its curls slightly tighter than normal and wore some light makeup. No reason to pile it on because she wasn't looking to impress anyone.

Certainly not Neil who had said he'd be there. As for Valentin, he was as mysterious about his plans for the evening like everything else.

She locked up her cottage and walked the couple miles to the beach. Farmland dominated the landscaping. Men and women wearing hats and loose clothing tended the rows of vegetables of different types. Having reclaimed the abandoned field one square foot at a time.

Others had arrived already and she saw the activity out on the sand. Barbecues were cooking burgers and hot links and she saw some ice chests filled with beer and sodas. A group of guys had brought guitars and some hand held drums to play music. Couples walked together down the beach or sat on blankets on the firmly packed sand.

Alexis looked around and saw Marie who smiled and walked up to greet her. They walked by an ice chest and Marie called for a guy to toss them some cold sodas and he did. Alexis caught hers and popped the tab before taking a drink.

"Hits the spot doesn't it," Marie asked.

Alexis nodded.

"I never thought I'd say this about soda but it sure does."

"You checked out the guys yet?"

It seemed that Marie had men on the brain but Alexis knew by now it was for show. Alexis just sipped her drink thoughtfully, looking out across the beach towards the ocean.

"I'm just here because Adela forced me to come."

Marie made a face.

"Yeah well, she thinks because she's found a guy to make her happy that she'll do whatever it takes to help the rest of us out but I don't need her help."

"I don't want it."

Marie looked her over.

"Do you even like guys?"

Alexis just threw her a look.

"Too much," she said, "Right now I just want life to be simple."

Marie sighed.

"You and me both," she said, "though the happiest time of my life was my marriage until it ended."

Alexis knew all about that well enough but that kind of happiness she could do without because it caused a lot of pain as well.

"I haven't given up on men; I'm just taking a break from them."

Marie nodded slowly, sipping her drink. Alexis felt her drift miles away. Like everyone else here Marie had a story.

More people arrived at the party as the sun sank lower in the sky, coloring it with a blend of soft orange and red hues. She hadn't seen Neil and didn't think he'd show as she went to grab herself a hamburger off the grill before sitting down to eat it. Adela and Randy were talking to another couple by the makeshift band which wafted the air with rhythm and blues, intermixed with classic rock.

The food was delicious and as she finished her burger, she looked up and saw Neil dressed in faded jeans and a jersey shirt talking with Marie. A shard of pain sliced through her but she looked away from them and out into the ocean. A couple guys approached her and she talked with them a little bit.

But after she finished eating, she grabbed another soda and after wrapping her jacket around her waist, she took off walking down the beach, before it got dark and the bonfire started.

The tide had started to come in a bit and the water wrapped itself around her bare feet delighting them with some chill before receding back out. The sound of waves breaking on a beach had always been one of her favorites so she focused on that as she walked past the sand dunes.

It reminded her of the beach many miles away near the Cassadine's compound on a different island She had walked along the strands of sand in the evenings eager to get out of the mansion and decompress after another tense day playing her dual role. Even on the nights that Stefan had been away on a family errand, she had walked by his empty bungalow, missing him but secure in the knowledge that he'd return soon.

Now months later, she walked on another beach and found herself thinking of him.

Neil had spent hours in and out of the therapy environment listening to her discuss her now deceased brother.

The waves curled into shore and she enjoyed how the water rushed over her feet, massaging them with grains of sand and then pulling the tide back out again. She flashed back to a time when she had been with Neil on a beach someplace and he had been chasing her into the surf, the water a brighter shade of blue, with the sunlight causing the tips of the waves to sparkle like diamonds. It had felt pleasantly warm but when the hot breezes brushed against her body, she had felt the coolness. And when he had caught up with her and pulled her to his bare chest and kissed her on the mouth as the water surrounded them, giving them a gentle tug until he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the shore.

Oh, how it had felt back then, so carefree and the rush of desire tearing through her faster than they could give into their passion…but now it just caused her sadness and she pushed it away as she continued walking toward the rocky jetty extending out into the ocean.

"Hey wait up…"

She turned around to see him heading towards her, his feet bared just like hers and the bottom of his jeans a brighter blue from having waded in the incoming tide. She just folded her arms and stood there staring at him.

"Why did you follow me?"

He sighed.

"You know why Alexis.."

She tilted her head.

"No I don't. Why don't you enlighten me?"

He just looked at her standing there, a stubborn line above her beautiful hazel eyes, and her full mouth turned up slightly at the corners. A part of him wanted to rub her lips gently with a finger before stroking them with his mouth. She kissed better than any woman that he had ever been with and she sure knew what to do with her hands, with those slender but surprisingly strong fingers.

He wouldn't be surprised if she started pointing a couple of them at him right now.

"You really shouldn't be going off by yourself, not right now."

She pursed her lips.

"Oh why are you worried? I think Valentin and Alex pushed them back…"

He frowned.

"This isn't something to take lightly Alexis., the guy's out there somewhere amid all this chaos and no one can locate him or his army."

She sobered, rubbing her forehead.

"Look I know…but running scared just plays into his hands by making it clear he's got the power and he's really into control."

His brow arched.

"You saying you know from experience?"

She just sighed in exasperation.

"I don't want to talk about it with you so just drop it. Stop shrinking me."

He shook his head.

"I can't…not if he's aiming for you because if anything happened to you…It could be bad..for a lot of people."

"The ones who are left?"

He nodded, with a deep sigh that came from a familiar place.

She put up her hand.

"Don't tell me that you'd feel responsible because I told you that you don't have to worry about that. I'm a grown woman. I'm a Cassadine. I have a body count too."

He pursed his lips.

"Hard not to see that Alexis.…but that's not what I'm talking about."

She felt her face prickle. Damn him for trying to tip the balance between them that had become precarious enough.

"I know...but really I didn't leave New York to run away from him…I did it to protect my family...I did it to get away from a lot of things."

She could tell he didn't like that statement but tough for him because he had earned it and if he proceeded like this, she wasn't pulling any punches. No way, would she ever give him that satisfaction.

Now if he'd stop looking at her like that, because she could imagine what it'd be like to slip her hands underneath his jersey and feel his muscles twitch beneath her more than capable touch. She loved his tight abs, which tapered up into a chest with enough dark hair to make things interesting for him when she tugged gently on it, with her fingers, while she kissed his mouth.

Damn she really had to stop thinking like this, she had to be strong and remember what he had done to her, all those things he had said.

Why was it so damn difficult right now?

He approached her and she just stood there and let him. And when he got near enough so she could almost feel him, he reached out to stroke her face. She thought about flinching for a millisecond but her body said no.

And then his lips met her own mouth and her body nearly jumped at first but then she recovered soon enough as he brushed them against her. Barely touching her at first but then a second later, he kissed her leaving her no doubt what he was doing. She responded by opening her lips a bit to deepen it. Then he placed his hands on her shoulders and drew her closer to him and damn it, she let him. She felt his tongue probe her lips, around the edges…in a way that sent shivers through her. She sighed and then her arms went around his waist and soon their bodies touched.

She felt him hard against her and she broke the kiss and just looked at him suddenly.

"Neil…what the hell are you doing?"

He brushed her hair off of her face, looking at her.

"If you don't know I must be doing it wrong but I don't think that's the case."

She shifted her balance feeling totally off balance.

"I don't want anything with you…"

He still held onto her, not feeling like letting her go.

"What if I don't want to stop?"

She just looked at him, shaking her head.

"Please don't…"

His lips descended on her mouth again, and sent those delicious sensations racing through her. His hands slipped underneath her shirt, stroking the silky smooth skin of her back. She flinched when she felt his hands there. He looked at her while he did it.

"What's the matter?"

She pulled away from him then and just glared at him, and he watched her not knowing which emotion that he saw predominated the rest. He saw anger and hurt, mixed with indignation and…desire.

But then she'd always been a complicated woman in and out of bed.

"What is it that you're not telling me?"

"Nothing Neil…not everything's about you."

He got that persistent look in his eye, the one that reminded her of his background, of what they had shared together for as long as they've known each other.

"Then why did you pull away?"

She shook her head then sharply, could the man in front of her be any more clueless? Did he really think the way back into her good graces was to slide between the sheets? But she tried to reign in the anger that threatened to be released from deep inside her.

"No…It's because I don't want anyone…I don't want to be hurt by you …or anyone."

She started to walk further down the beach and he knew then if he grabbed her arm, she might slug him. But she had known that he wanted her…she had felt that proof against that part of her that wanted him too. Only a few layers of clothing separated them and he knew that she knew that too.

"I'm less lethal than he is, I hope you know that much."

She didn't flinch looking back at him.

"Yes I do but that doesn't make you less dangerous in other ways."

She turned around and started to walk back to the party. He stood there watching her go wondering how he was going to keep her safe if she withdrew from him like she did now. Sure he wanted her, a part of him wanted nothing less than to show her that now but he didn't think she'd be receptive.

And although he tried damn hard he kept thinking of her during that fateful night before it and humanity had started to go to hell.

He just shook his head, watching her grow smaller in the distance, her curly hair blowing softly against her back before heading back to the party.

Wondering what the hell he was going to do next.