A Double Edged Sword

"Here's all the details you will be needing about the factory." the grey haired young man offered the folder to Claire. "I was just told tomorrow's gonna be your field exam. I'm sorry if I gave it to you at this very late." He apologized.

"Thanks. I didn't really expect you to give it to me personally." She replied. They were standing at the outdoor hallway leading to the front entrance of the school. It's still Sunday but the cadet had just finished with her training outside. She was about to head back with her members to clean up but ended up asking them to go on without her when she saw the man approaching.

Hope shook her head while smiling. "It's no problem. I don't have anything else to do so I thought I should drop it off." The woman only nodded.

They stood there in long, awkward silence.

He cleared his throat. "I bumped with Fang and Vanille while I was gone for a week, doing some errand in Shumi Village." He started. "I just thought I should share it with you."

"Oh. How are they?" She asked with genuine interest.

"They're doing fine. They were the one who mostly do the monster control there. Said it's becoming more rampant these days. It's what they do for a living. The elder and the moombas had taken a liking with them anyway. They honestly see them as their heroes." He added while shyly massaging his nape, clearly uncomfortable with his close distance with the pink haired cadet.

"So I've heard. I managed to talk to Fang back then in Esthar when she was escorting some goods from Shumi, but it's been a while." She replied. "Well, it's good to know they're okay."

"Yeah." He agreed in a weaker tone and gazed at the woman studying her face, his eyes filled with longing.

It's now Claire's turn to be uncomfortable. Why is he looking at me like that? "I won't be asking. I obviously look like a mess. We just finished with our training as you can see." She reasoned while gently raising her gunblade to emphasize the obvious. Not to mention her blue training outfit that has been already darkened with mud and dirt.

"No! It's not that." Hope defended while clearly seeing that the woman misunderstood his action. "You still look great though." He complimented.

Again, she was lost for words. She thought if she let this conversation go this way, it will end up again with the topic that she's dreading to visit. "Thanks." Is the only thing she can manage to reply.

"About last time..." He spoke again. Not this again. She mentally said. But she knew she can't avoid it now. She eventually need to face him, and this.

She heaved a long sigh. "What about it?"

Hope looked down on the marbled floor, carefully thinking about what he was going to say next. "I just want to apologize. I know I rushed things off and it made you feel uncomfortable. I guess I was being selfish. And I'm sorry."

Not expecting what he just said, Claire sighed again in relief. "It's fine. I know you're just being honest. I was the one who should apologize for my action. It was a stupid move. I was so confused and I just left you there. I guess I just don't know what to say and I was only avoiding saying things that might hurt you." She explained her side.

He chuckled weakly. "Honestly, I was kind of expecting that reaction. Every normal person will act the same way when some random person you haven't seen in a long time suddenly confessed their feelings. I know that really came out of nowhere. I should've taken things slowly. Maybe I was just scared of letting you go again."

She shook her head. "You're not just a random person, Hope. You're special to me. Just like everybody else." She shut her eyes tightly before speaking again, preparing herself to address this issue once and for all.

"Haven't you taken the time to think things over again?" She looked up at him. "That probably you just mistaken your feelings because I was the one who've taken the role of your mother?" She asked. She delivered the words as calm as possible.

Hope gently shook her head. "You don't have any idea how many times I've thought about it. Back then, I was scared of these feelings growing on me. But I just can't control it." He sighed. "There's something that happened before that I haven't told you."

The cadet knitted her brows in curiosity. "What is it?"

"Just a year ago, I saw you. I was in Esthar. Remember the day when the city was celebrating its independence last year? I was there as one of the representatives from the Garden. I saw you standing behind the president while he was addressing his speech." He confessed. "I know I should've came to you and said something. But I was really confused by the overwhelming and mixed feelings I instantly had in my chest. I was very happy to finally see you, but I was also really scared and embarassed to face you so I ended up becoming a coward and just chose to hide until we left. After what happened, things got worse. I can't take you off my mind since then. I thought I was going crazy. I also thought that maybe I just misinterpreted my feelings. But now whenever I see you, I became more and more certain. It was real. And I thought I shouldn't waste my time again so I came confessing to you without even thinking of how you will possibly feel." He explained.

She remained silent for a moment while processing his words. "Hope, believe me when I say I understand you because I really do. I'm not mad at you, really. But I need to be honest for your own sake too." She heaved a sigh as the next words she will say will be heavy and she knew will somehow hurt him. "Hope, I'm not ready for this. I have a lot on my mind. I have my own goals and this isn't included in it."

"But I told you I will be waiting, right? No matter how long. You don't have to answer right now or anytime soon. All I wished for was a chance." His eyes were pleading.

"For what? Do you want me to give you a chance and pretend like I really wanted to and keep your hopes up for something that I really can't give?" She responded in frustration. "Can't you see? Even if I don't want to but I'm only going to hurt you. Hope, you're like a brother to me. And I honestly learned to love and protect you since you lost your mother just like how I feel with Serah. And I wanted to be there for you just how any sister would. But how can I do that if you're being like this?"

Hope let out an exasperated sigh. "That's the point, Claire. You hated me before for always sticking with you right? You also tried to get rid of me but you eventually cared. How can you be so sure that you're not capable of opening up to me this time?" He desperately asked.

Goddammit! The man has a point. But she have her own answer. But it is too blunt that it will surely bore a hole on his heart and will leave a huge scar. And she was really avoiding to say it as much as possible.

But she needs to. "I just don't feel the same way, Hope." She looked up at him apologetically. "I'm sorry."

A one-sided love is like a double edged sword. And it will strike and wound someone depending on how you swing it. Either it hurt you for lying, or hurt the other because you tell him the truth. Pain was an inevitable thing.

You can clearly see how Hope was shattered at her words. It was heartbreaking, even to someone like her. She really felt bad for him but she had no choice. It seemed like time had stopped and both of them were still. No one making even a bit of movement and no one is speaking either. They remained like that for what seemed like eternity.

Hope slowly nodded. "Alright." He managed to put on a faint smile. "I get it." He turned around and dragged his feet towards the front entrance without looking back.

"I'm really sorry." She muttered to herself while watching his retreating figure. Before she can remove her sight from the front entrance, a man soon emerged just right after Hope disappeared.

It was a tall, well-built guy with fair skin and dark brown hair which was strangely unkept today. He was only wearing a white shirt, black jeans and combat boots. His right hand was tightly gripping the handle of the gunblade which is resting on his shoulder with his eyes only looking forward like a tough soldier going on a battle.

Claire saluted when Squall was just in front of her. He turned his gaze on her and halted on his steps before greeting her back.

"At ease." And as he noticed the dirt all over her he commented. "Just done with training?"

"Yeah. I was about to turn in." She responded. "What about you, sir? Are you going for practice?"

The brunette nodded in confirmation. "Would be a shame to have an out of shape commander, right?" He said with a faint smile, imagining the ridiculousness of the thought.

She huffed with a smile. "I guess. Well, I won't waste your time anymore, sir. I'll take my leave." She saluted.

He nodded. "Alright." And then he watched her start on her steps.

"Wanna go for another round?" He suddenly asked. He furrowed his brows in confusion of what he just said. Why was those words so familiar? It's as if he was using the sentence very often.

Claire who has her back on her superior was also surprised by his sudden question. He was her partner for a long time in another world anyway so the familiarity of those words were so clear. Knowing that he doesn't remember her or anything about what happened, she was not, to say the least, expecting the offer. But still it was very nostalgic. It reminded her of their days fighting as champions of Cosmos and Materia. She turned around and looked at him sideways with a challenging stare.

"Sure." She accepted the offer with confidence.

Squall smirked. "Hope you can keep up."

"That's my line." She responded as they walked towards the exit of the Garden.