STAN

I can't deny that I like this. Kyle always makes me feel….so loved. I'm glad he knows who I really am. I look outside I can tell it's later now as the sun is not so bright. The Avengers went off. Now the channel is playing Blade. How did they go from something so current to something so old? Kyle buries his face in the back of my neck. I hold in a gasp as I can't help it as I become aroused. This was suppose to be TC cuddling me like this not my best friend, not Kyle. I close my eyes shut hard trying to get the feeling to go away. It's not going away though.

"K-kyle…." I choke. "Can you please give me some space?"

"Am I not making you feel better?" he asked softly. I shiver from his voice and that has never happened before. He sounded….sexy. I whimper quietly feeling my erection come to life. I clear my throat.

"Yes…." I reply. I can't let him see me hard like this. He will probably not want to be this close to me again. "I mean….I just need some space. You're too close….I mean I need some time to think."

"S-sorry," apologized Kyle. I feel him move quickly. I look over at his bed he is laying down facing away from me. I know he is not taking a nap because he is not the type of person to waste any time in the day.

"Thanks for trying to make me feel better," I say more confidently. "For everything."

"Okay," says Kyle. I close my eyes and after a while. I don't open my eyes until I hear the bathroom door shut close. I let out a deep breath as I was scared to move or do anything in front of Kyle. I roll on my back and I'm still hard. I turn on my opposite side away from Kyle bed facing the door. Maybe eating my food will make me feel better. I look at the bathroom door before making a beeline to the table. I'm still a little hard and god forbid I didn't bring any PJ's. I didn't think I would need them with TC. I eat a cold fry heading to the microwave to reheat my food. By the time I'm settled at the table, Kyle comes out of the bathroom. "You're up."

"I got hungry…." I reply. "So uh when did you want to go the pool or whatever."

"Oh," says Kyle sitting on the bed grabbing his laptop. "Uh we can go around 9, we don't have to stay long or anything." I nod yes as I begin to eat. I can't help it as I begin to steal glances at Kyle as I continue to eat.

We pretty much dick around until we're ready to head to as he called it the adult pool. We both carry towels that Kyle packed from home. We are pretty much quiet on our way there and for most of this evening. I can't stop thinking about the way Kyle was holding me. It felt so good, too good. We enter the pool area. There are a few adults but not many. I like the fact they are all casually enjoying themselves. They aren't loud or anything. Kyle walks over to the jacuzzi and smiles as he slowly gets in.

"What do you think?" asked Kyle. "I'm thinking of turning the heat up a little. Feels just warm right now."

"I'm good with whatever," I inform him as I get into the water. He is right, it is just warm. "God, we got hotter water than this at the apartment."

"Tell me about it," says Kyle as he adjusts the temp. I can't help but check him out as he is bent over in those red swim trunks. Bebe was right, he does have a great ass. Kyle moves to sit back down I quickly shift my eyes. "This is nice."

"Yeah…." I agree. I'm looking everywhere but at Kyle until I calm down a little. "Um….you was quiet earlier today. You okay?" Kyle chuckles.

"I'm okay," he replied. "I could always be better." Kyle moves one of the curls from off his forehead. I know my best friend and he is clearly blushing. What is he thinking about?

"What's on your mind?" I asked leaning back.

"What makes you think I have something on my mind?" asked Kyle.

"Dude come on," I chuckle. "We have known each other forever."

"Nothing is really on my mind," he replies. "Just excited to be starting my internship."

"You were blushing," I decide to point out. Kyle flushes further looking away from me. "We're suppose, to be honest with each other, right? I mean you can tell me."

"I….it's…." he stares at me. I can tell he doesn't want to tell me. What is going on? "Let's just relax dude. It feels a little intense in here."

"Maybe for you," I reply leaning back dropping my questions. I can't lie it is a little anxious but I feel like he made it worse with dodging my questions. Kyle will probably end up telling me later. He is probably interested in some new girl or something. He has this habit of getting super giddy buying the girl a bunch gifts. He is not as bad as he was in high school but still bad. I don't have room to talk with all the shit on my plate. I'm not use to things being this intense between us. "Is this because of TC?"

"TC?" questions Kyle. "I'm not even thinking about that asshole."

"Good to know," I replied.

"Seems like you are though," he says.

"I don't think about him unless you bring him up," I reply.

"You brought him up!" exclaims Kyle. I immediately feel stupid because he's right.

"Because it's fucking weird right now!" I admit. I glance around to see if anyone heard my outburst. Lucky for us it is one other couple in here. I see them glance over. I just smile and wave before looking back at Kyle. "I don't know how to explain Kyle. It's just been strange." Kyle sighs.

"It's not just you," he says. "It feels unusual to me too. I hate it. I brought us out here so we could relax and chill."

"I don't get why it feels this way either," I reply. "I mean….ugh whatever. Maybe we just need to loosen up. Are you positive you don't want me drinking?"

"Yes!" exclaims Kyle. "No alcohol until you're over TC. I guess we just both need to um….let loose."

"Hard to do that without booze," I reply. Kyle gives me a look and I laugh. I can tell I'm wearing him down but he is fighting it, so damn stubborn. Kyle begins to talk about his classes. He wants to prepare my resume for internships, get me set up on LinkedIn or whatever. I'm not going to turn it down because I will certainly need his help. I make sure to steer clear of bringing up Heidi and he doesn't bring up TC. It sucks because of our conversation was still odd because it is obvious, we're avoiding touchy subjects. We finally decide to head back to the room having enough after 3 hours. It's almost midnight when we get to the room. "You can shower first."

"Thank you!" exclaims Kyle grabbing his sleeping clothes. He heads into the bathroom. I run my hands through my hair slightly freaking out. Stop checking out Kyle! I have never found him attractive before. I mean sure he is cute but I have never thought of being with Kyle sexually. I remove my swimwear putting a towel around my waist while I sit on the bed turning the TV back on. I hear the water going I can't help but look at the door. Wondering how that water is running down his muscular frame….I pinch my eyes closed because the last thing I need is developing a crush on my straight best friend.

I distract myself enough by turning to Adult Swim enjoying the show they have running. Kyle comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his head. He is wearing a tee and some long PJ pants.

"No shorts?" I ask.

"Are you kidding?" asked Kyle. "These hotel rooms be cold as hell. I left the water running for you." I grab my boxers heading into the bathroom. I feel bad I don't have sleepwear but didn't have the balls to ask Kyle did he have an extra pair. I get in the shower with my mind wondering to what is TC doing right now. I come out the shower walking back into the room in my boxers. "Dude where are you sleeping clothes?"

"I was traveling with my boyfriend," I explained. "I didn't think I needed them." Kyle blushes. "That sounded wrong…."

"Don't worry about it," says Kyle. "I'm a big boy and know what you guys were going to do. I got a pair of PJ's if you want them. Which I would prefer for you to put on." I smile as I watch him grab the set from his bag.

"What?" I say jokingly. "You can't handle looking at my sexy gay body anymore?" I say this because we use to see each other naked all the time. Ever since I came out he has slowly has become more nervous around me. His face turns redder as he hands the PJ's looking down. "I was kidding."

"I-I know that," he stammers going back standing in front of his bed. I stare at him with my heart hammering in my chest. It can't be…I decide to ask what is on my mind.

"Are you attracted to me?" I ask slowly. Kyle turns his head away blushing like crazy as he wraps his arm around himself. I feel my heart drop. I don't know what to think or say. It's one thing to feel attracted to my best friend but I never thought he would be attracted to me. I slide on the pants and the tee before walking over to him. I must tread likely here and not assume…"Dude you can talk to me."

"I'm frightened," Kyle whispers shaking his head. "I…I don't know how to explain it." I exam Kyle closely. He is reminding me of when I first started looking at guys in a sexual way. Although times are changing society always makes it seems men are suppose to be with women and vice versa. I was terrified. I wondered if something was wrong with me…for a long time. TC assured me nothing was wrong. It was okay to like men. In Kyle's case he has always been with women.

"You don't have to," I replied softly. For the most part I know exactly how he feels. Kyle looks at me biting his lip slightly walking into my space. He leans into me carefully, slowly. I just gaze at him knowing he can't be doing what I think he is. Kyle gradually closes the gap kissing my lips softly. What the hell…Kyle pulls away to study my face. I can feel my cheeks burning as I watch him. I begin to pant lightly as I feel like he wants me to kiss him. I know I want to kiss him too. I swallow my fear leaning forward kissing Kyle softly. He grabs my lower back causing me to moan into his mouth. "Mmmppphhh…" Fuck, I wasn't expecting him to do that.

My mind is swirling with thoughts as I continue to kiss Kyle. He's my best friend. He is my everything in a sense. I wrap my arms around his neck deepening the kiss without meaning to.

"Haahh…." moans Kyle.

"Ohhh…" I groan in pleasure. I have heard his voice in passion faintly through the walls but hearing it in person is difference. Kyle goes to massaging my lower back in between intense grabbing.

"Stan…." He whines against my lips. Oh my god…..just that quick I feel like I want to have sex with Kyle. I want to feel him inside of me in every way. If he can make me feel like this from a little a kissing…god the sex…..

"Ahh…." I groan as I become erection. The passionate kissing, the way his hands feel along my skin. Kyle presses me into his body causing a small moan to escape my lips. I know he can feel every bit of my dick. "Aha…haa…" He is erect to. Whoa….I should stop but I can't. Kyle softly touches the side of my face as I take his tongue into my mouth.

"Ohhh…." cries Kyle. "Ahhh…" I shudder as he just sounded like I slide down on his dick instead of accepting his tongue. I slide my hand lightly into his hair not wanting to part from him. The lust I feel bubbling up inside is making me dizzy.

"Haaa….haa…..Kyle…." I grumble. I want to have sex with him. This is much more romantic than what I am use to. I don't feel like this kiss was experimental at all. Kyle whines before pulling away bending over winded.

"Holy shit…," he huffs before taking deep breaths. I sit down on my bed as he sits down on his. We are both trying to catch our breath as we stare at each other. I have to clear my mind and focus on the matter at hand.

Dude," I say finally. "How long have you been dealing with this?"

"For a few months," admits Kyle shaking before running his hands through his hair. "Oh god….."

"Breathe," I tell him delicately. "Take it easy…."

"How are you not freaking out!" cries Kyle. "Oh god."

"I'm not freaking out because I already know I'm gay and you're my best friend," I explain. "I mean you could be bi Ky and that's okay." Deep down I'm hoping he likes me. That he wants me. Outside of being attracted to Kyle he makes me feel loved. He has always been such a good man to any woman he has dated. I want that. I want a loving relationship with him. Maybe…just maybe…..

"I know but still…." Kyle says still freaked out.

"It's going to be hard in the beginning," I explain. "It could be easy depending on the person like Butters and Tweek accepted who they were and didn't have a problem with it."

"I know," says Kyle bending over. "God is this what Heidi felt like? I can see why she dumped me."

"Don't say that," I reply not liking the idea that he is bringing up his break up. Heidi situation is different from what is happening with him right now. Kyle lift his head staring at me.

"Heidi is dating Red," says Kyle. "She clearly knew what she wanted and it's not me, not a man…." My heart breaks for him. This is not a good time for him to really be thinking about this. "I'm going to lay down okay. I'm really tired….."

"Okay," I reply wide away due to my afternoon nap. Kyle lays down in the bed staring at me for a moment before he closes his eyes. Am I even the best person to be helping Kyle deal with this? I don't even fucking know.