Chapter Four
I Want You To Stay
A/N: Hey guys! This chapter will have a flashback explaining some of Brittany's problems with her mental health, dancing and her being cheated on. It also has a lot a lot a lot of Faberry. Let me know if you guys want me to tone it down or not? Read On!
Brittany's POV
-Flashback Commence, 2 years ago-
"Maia!" I called out as I entered the apartment. Locking the door behind me, I didn't hear Maia say anything. I did hear a string of curses though, followed by.. groaning? I raised my eyebrows.I opened the door to Rachel's room, covering my eyes. "Rach? Is that you? Please tell me your not banging that-" I frowned as I realized that Rachel wasn't in there. Either she was screwing some girl in MY bed, or something else was happening.
Something very, very bad.
I cautiously opened the door to my room, and I stopped dead in my tracks as my eyes widened. "What do you think you're doing?" I said, trying to block out the view of my girlfriend and Rachel's boyfriend- doing something I didn't even want to think about in my bed.
Maia's eyes widened, and Kayden, Rachel's boyfriend who was sure to be her ex if I had anything to do with it after today, jumped up from on top of Maia. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I growled through clenched teeth. Neither of them answered and just stared at me in shock. Finally, Maia spoke up. "Britt, it's not what it looks like." I was currently glaring at Kayden, but I snapped my head towards Maia. "Do not fucking call me that," I looked back to Kayden, ignoring the freightended look on thier faces. "Get. The. Hell. Out. Don't bother putting on your clothes, you can do that downstairs." Kayden nodded and ran out of the door to my bedroom butt naked, clutching his clothes to his chest.
"Brittany, please." Maia pleaded, picking her clothes up off the floor. "No, don't. I forgave you the first time, Maia, but with him? Of all people, my best friend's boyfriend? What is wrong with you! Fourteen months down the drain. This is the last time." I crossed my arms as she responded, "Just hear me out, let me explain-"
"No, Maia. Let me explain what you're gonna do. You're gonna get the fuck out of my apartment, and cut of all ties with me and Rachel, who was seemingly your friend. Delete my number and unfollow me on everything. I don't want to see you ever again," I spat out in one breath.
"That's what you want? Really?" Maia said, already pulling on her pants. I grit my teeth. "Really." She stood up and pulled on her shirt, looking at me like she wanted to say something else. "I'm sorry," was all she muttered before grabbing her phone and walking out, and I sunk to the floor as I hear the door to the apartment shut behind me.
Three hours later, I was still sobbing, my my legs to my chest and I buried my head in my knees, when I heard a knock on the door. "Britt? Britt, open up, it's me. I brought take out for me, you, Kayden and Maia." t the mention of her name,my sobbing grew, and she must've heard since she opened the door and dropped the food, from what I could see, and ran over to me. "Sweetie, what happened?" I think she already knew as she took off her long red coat and put it over my shoulders, pulling me into her arms as she took in the messed up bed. "You're shivering."
I wiped my eyes, struggling to look at her through my blurry tears, hating myself for what I was about to tell her. "Maia cheated on me," I started, "with Kayden." I could feel Rachel's breath hitch in her throat and she pulled me tighter to her, and I finally worked up enough strength to wrap my arms around her. "I think you were right when you told me he was a no good, lying son of a bitch." I laughed at that. "The one time I wish I wasn't right."
Three weeks later, it happened. I was sitting on the couch, resting after a long day of acting, singing and dancing, and I started thinking about Maia. For the last few weeks, I pushed it out of my mind, but I just couldn't anymore.
It started with crying. And little by little, hyperventilating, panting as I wrapped myself up and buried my head into my legs. I couldn't stop thinking about everything we were and everything we had- and how it was all gone. I pulled myself up as I heard keys jingling in the door, wiping my eyes and feeling the need to hide. Of course, I trusted Rachel- but I didn't feel like talking. So as she opened the door and came in carrying a pizza, Sam, Tina and Joe behind her since Elliot was in California at a wedding, I smiled brightly and got up, faking it.
Santana's POV
"What the fuck, Quinn? It's 9 am."
"You are not going to believe what happened."
"Probably will. You are pretty psycho."
"Not this time."
"Stop boring me and get on with it, Q."
"You know that girl Brittany?"
I got up from mine and Puck's bed, pulling my shirt on and pulling my shorts down, walking to our couples bathroom, sighing at the mention of the girl I had been dreaming of. "Yeah, we're getting pretty close," I confessed, putting toothpaste on my toothbrush, knowing this was gonna go on for awhile.
"Well, we left together at the wedding last night, and guess what?" I wish that I left with her last night instead of Puck?
"Hmm?" I muttered, sticking the brush in my mouth, not really paying attention.
"She has a girl peen, dude!" Already knew that, babe.
"The fuck?" I pretended, trying to be surprised and groaning inwardly.
"Yep! My exact response. But she's super hot, and I totally hit that." I coughed, laughing.
"Please don't ever speak like that. But congratulations, Fabgay. But what about that Rachel girl?"
Quinn sighed over the line, and I heard her body hit a mattress as she laid down on what I assumed was her bed. "It was a one night stand. An amazing one night stand, but I've still got my eyes set on Rachel." I fiddled with the end of my t-shirt as I spit out the toothpaste and finishing brushing my toungue, walking out of the bathroom and wiping my hands.
"Well, good, because I like you two together. Think it's a bitch move that she wouldn't come out, but I understand that." I sighed and went downstairs, waving to my cleaning lady. It was Saturday; I forgot she'd be here as I jumped up onto the marble counters in the kitchen, smiling at Maria as she left the kitchen, giving me privacy.
"I get what you mean, San. I'm sorry that your grandma took awhile to accept you after coming out as bisexual. Bitch was pretty happy when you married a guy. As you would say," she started.
"No me gusta." We finished in unison, laughing. "Thanks, Q. But I'm pretty sure she knew that you guys went home together. You're gonna want to apologize," I said, scanning my shaking hands, and looking at the little heart tattoo right above my wrist. "I'll talk to you later. Got some things to worry about. And just because it's a Saturday and we all have the day off doesn't mean you can slack. You have the last song of the episode ready, right?"
I groaned. "I've had it ready since four weeks ago when I was planning the cherography with Britt." I smiled at the mention of the blonde. "I'll talk to you later, too, Quinn. See ya."
As I hang up the phone and leaned back against the cupboards, I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself. What was I doing, crushing over some girl? I was married, for God's sake, and Britt had already said that she couldn't handle that. My phone beeped and I picked it up. "Speaking of the devil," I mumbled. "Hey, Britt."
Rachel's POV
Sitting in my bed, I couldn't help but scroll through my Instagram feed. I also couldn't help clicking on Quinn's page. I couldn't help scrolling down a little to a month ago, when the band was playing at some new bar and she wanted to be there to celebrate. Brittany couldn't be there because it was Maia's brithday, and she didn't wanna celebrate in some "old, crusty bar that has old men waiting to grope girls in it". Like anyone would wanna grope that.
Quinn had her arms wrapped around my waist, and I was half perched on he lap as she set her chin on my shoulder and I leaned my head back on her neck. I was craning my head a little bit and my eyes were glued to hers, and she was staring back at me, smiling brightly. The caption was an upsidedown smiley face and a blue heart, with "I'm so glad you get to share your voice not only with me but with the world. you deserve everything and I hope I can give everything to you."
We never said I love you to eachother. I was stubborn, she was equally as- but now I was regretting it so much. I realized that this post was only still here because she either didn't have time to go through her feed- or she still wasn't over me. I hoped for the latter as I got up to answer the door. "Get up off your lazy ass Brittany," I joked as I smiled and opened the door, but my smile quickly diminished.
"Quinn?"
"Hey, Rach. Can I talk to you outside?"
I looked at Brittany, who was laying on the couch. She was staring a little oddly at us, and I looked over and saw Quinn's eyes widen. "Yeah, it's whatever," I said, trying to sound like I didn't want to grab her and kiss her. And then slap her for what happened between us. And then kid her again.
I closed the door behind me, stepping outside into the hallway, crossing my arms over my torso and placing my hands on my arms, cold. "What are you doing here, Quinn?" I looked at the ground, at my feet which were only in my socks. "I know about what happened between you and Brittany, too," I said, gritting my teeth slightly and frowning at the ground.
"That's partly while I'm here, to, well, say I'm sorry. If you'll let me, that is." Quinn bent down a little bit, using her thumb to angle my chin upwards before standing up properly again. I sighed, looking into her hazel eyes. "You have one minute, Fabray," I said, slightly grinning as she smiled. I assumed she was remembering the times I had called her that when we used to tease eachother.
"I can do that with that. Rachel, I'm sorry. I know that you didn't want to come out, and i didn't let you be. As your-" Quinn looked at me, and I think she wasn't sure if we were dating or not. "-girlfriend, I should've been supportive of you and I should've let you be, but I didn't. And I'm so, so sorry for that. Not only because I tried forcing you into doing something you weren't ready for, but for letting someone as amazing as you go because I was being selfish. And, I think that was a lot, but if you want me to stay, I'll stay. If you want me to go, I'll go."
I gulped as Quinn pulled out a bouquet of flowers from behind her back. Red roses, with a box of chocolates stuck in middle of them. "Sorry- I've never brought a girl flowers or anything before- usually when it's over, it's over, but for you, I thought it'd be different. You're different." She handed me the bouquet, and I smelt the roses, not saying anything for a few minutes, the silence killing me inside, but I had no idea what to say. "I'll go, I guess," Quinn said, starting to walk off, pulling her black leather jacket over herself and making it to the elevator surprisingly quickly.
And as she stepped inside the elevator, turning to face me as she pressed the ground button, the words came to me. "What, Quinn, wait!" She stepped out of the elevator just before it closed, and i set down the bouquet of flowers on the ground. I ran to her, feeling ridiculous in my grey sweat pants and pink t-shirt. I was still the same girl I had been so many years ago. "Just because we're two little people/In this big old world.."
Quinn turned around, stopped moving. I didn't know if she could catch what I meant, but I smiled as she decided to sing the rest of the lyrics. "I could make a living/ Baby/ You could be my girl/ I won't sell drugs no more/ I'll move you out the city."
I joined her for the last little part of the chorus. We had listened to this song just laying on her bed one day, and I remembered how safe I felt, curled up in her arms with my head on her chest, when I had started to sing the lyrics and she joined in that day.
"Taking you with me/I'm taking you with me/ Cause if I ain't got you/Then I got nobody at all."
Her mouth hung open a little bit as we finished the lyrics, in a perfect harmony, but she accepted me as I ran into her arms, pulling her down by wrapping my arms around her neck and pulling her into me, crashing my lips against hers but at the same time being soft. Her hands flew to my waist as she dipped me, not too low. "Please," I whispered against her lips. "Please. I want you to stay, please," I commanded, breathless.
Quinn chuckled, and I still had my eyes closed as I pressed my forehead to hers. "Only for you, Berry." It was now my turn to laugh, and as I did, I could picture us laughing, together, for the rest of my life.
Brittany's POV
"Good morning, everyone," Puck said as he entered the room. "Woah, not every one is here," he quirked up an eyebrow. "Including my wife."
It was Monday now, and most of us were seated around the table in the planning room for the show, and Puck and Santana told us to dress down, because we'd be working with our hands today, whatever that meant. I was wearing jeans and a dark grey t, sitting in between Sam and Jake. Jake seemed like a pretty cool guy, but I hadn't really met him yet. "Why isn't Santana here?" I asked Puck. The only other people here were Quinn, Rachel, Mike, Mercedes, Finn, and a few other cast members. And Quinn and Rachel were holding hands under the table, acting like I couldn't see them. Yeah right.
"She took the other car and went to go eat breakfast some place. She left an hour before I did, so that's weird." Puck shrugged, pulling up the sleeves on his black long sleeve shirt. He was also wearing light blue jeans. Just as he finished the sentence, Santana came in, carrying those little cartons which you could put your coffee in. Three of them. Each with six cups of coffee in them. "Britt, babe, anyone, help," she said.
I got up and rushed over to her, grabbing two cartons and setting them down on the table, while Puck grabbed the other one. "I brought coffee for everyone. Well, I don't know if it's for everyone, but it's all I could carry." Everyone chuckled, saying thank you and grabbing a cup.
"So, why did you tell us to wear jeans and comfortable clothes?" I questioned Santana. We had talked on the phone the other day and she said to make sure to remember to have a comfortable outfit, but refused to tell me why. I grabbed a cup and took a long sip, waiting for her to reply. "Because, Brittany, today we're going to be going to the shooting warehouse and building some new sets. I wanted to get you all into the real feel of working together, because we have big plans for this show, and we're very glad such an amazing cast is a part of it." She said this directly to me, not really speaking to anyone else, with a dopey smile on her face. "..Okay." I said, while the rest of the room awed except for, noticeably, Quinn.
Four hours later, it was around three o'clock when I walked over to Santana, who was sawing something in one of the workstations in the second warehouse we had been to. This one had most of the stuff that would be in the pilot, while the other had fake houses and hang out spots. She handed the piece of wood to someone nearby, who was now working on the choir room in the highschool, which was nearly complete.
"Hey, Santana," I greeted, itching to ask her the question I had been wondering about for the entire day. "Hey, Britt!" She said, dropping the slab of wood she was now cutting. She turned off her power saw and smiled up at me. "How are you?" I sat down cross legged on the concrete floor, and I shivered a little bit. "I'm actually great, what about you?" She smiled a little too brightly, and I raised an eyebrow. "Worried. What the hell is going on with you? You've been walking around all and happy and joyful, and don't get me wrong, I love seeing you happy," Santana's smile grew into a real one when I said this.
I let myself smile a little too as I continued, "but this is new. And different. What's up, seriously?" Santana's smile faltered a little bit, and mine did as well as she sighed and ran a hand throw her hair, which was now a little messed up. She tied it up, and I nearly missed what she said, admiring how beautiful she looked with her hair out of her face. "Well, Puck said that I needed to be a little nicer to everyone, so here I am, being all cheerful. We actually got into a fight about it this morning. That's really why we took seperate cars. I just had to get out of there- I-" Santana looked up and stopped, and I assumed that she saw the sad look on my face.
"-'m sorry. I shouldn't be bothering you with my marital problems." She shook her head, looking down and sniffling a little bit before running a hand through her ponytail again. I leaned forward and wrapped her up into a hug, rubbing her back gently with one hand. "I don't want you to ever feel that way- you are never going to bother me, never. You can come to me whenever you want, just to talk or if you need something, and I will always be there for you."
Santana sniffled into my shoulder again, squeezing me tightly before pulling back and extending her pink finger, smiling sadly. "Promise?" She said, barely above a whisper, and I returned the smile as I wrapped my pinky around hers.
"Promise."
As we stood back and admired our work, I heard Rache myl and Quinn giggling beside me, looking at Finn, who was also grinning a little bit. "What's so funny?" I asked, weirded out. "Look," Rachel said, pointing to behind the piano, where you could see a head behind it, and I smiled as I saw the familiar brown eyes staring back at me, making an odd face. I didn't really know how Puck didn't see Santana, or how the rest of the people here didn't, but clearly not. I ran up behind the piano as well.
"Whatcha doing back here?" My lips quirked up. "Oh, nothing," she said. "It seems like you never have another answer than that, Ms. Lopez."
At that, she let out a small chuckle, "Certainly so, Ms. Pierce. Or maybe, I do not find myself indulgent in the small pleasantries that we grant other humans by responding do their feeble questions. As, in the inevitable end, when we all disappear into oblivion, our minds will parish with us. So, Ms. Pierce, I believe that by answering these less than able-minded questions, such as "What are you doing?" or "Are you okay?", is a method that we use to justify the thoughts that we have. By this, I mean that we, as people, have a thought process that thinks that we have to know everything possible, but mostly of the ones we love," she bit her lip as she said this, "but we can fully see what is going on. We're just too afraid to confront eachother, or do anything about it. But you can see what someone is doing, or that if they are not okay. We just want confirmation to we can withhold the actual doing something about it or speaking over it. We want to know everything, see everything, but can't handle it. These questions are stupid, yet, because we won't remember the person's answer. We won't have a mind to use to think about in our old age, and don't get me started on death. Does that make sense? We use questions to delay the inevitable? Because nothing really had meaning. We won't remember any of this. Nothing here made a difference."
I was very, very, very tempted to say "I don't think I could ever understand anyone anymore than I understand you." But instead, all that came out was, "I really don't get it, but I might know where you're leading." I smiled a bit.
Santana frowned a little and sighed. "I don't know where I was leading either, but it's okay." I could really see the way she wanted me to get her- the way she wanted someone to understand that we weren't here for a purpose. All of this would be gone- one day- with nothing or no one to remember us, this conversation would not go down in history but not even be acknowledged by anyone because it wasn't heard by anyone other than me and Santana. "I get you," I said, grabbing her hand. "I do."
Santana looked at me, looking like she was debating on something before she turned away and tugged her hand from my grasp, resulting in a frown coming from me. "Don't," she said barely above a whisper. "You said it yourself, we can't be together, and we're better of as friends."
"I wish we weren't," I said. "I wish we were something more." She sighed. "I know you do, Britt, and I do too- but it's not possible." She got up and walked away.
I followed her. "Come see my show tonight," I pleaded. "At the Cauldron at 8. You can bring who ever you want, I think Finn and a few others are coming. Just come and listen."
She turned back to me. "Fine, but no serenading this time." She grinned a little bit and turned away again. I smiled. Yeah right.
Santana's POV
The bar was filed with smoke, and all around there were people talking and laughing, drinking out of bottles that'd you see in a science lab. There were red, blue, green and purple liquids in the glasses and I smiled. Seemed like a pretty cool. Finn, Puck, Quinn, Kitty and Blaine came in behind me. Kurt was coming too, but he had some things to do before he did.
"Woah, this place is lit man," Finn said, belching as he took hold of Puck's shoulder, who was laughing. We had gone to a bar before this, and Puck and Finn had gotten wasted. Along with Quinn, who was now searching for her girlfriend, screaming "Rachel!" On stage, Brittany's band was just now setting up. Rachel jumped down from the large elevated platform and ran over to Quinn and us. "Hey guys! So glad you could make it," Rachel said over the loud talk of the bar.
"Me too. Where's Britt?" I asked, not seeing her on stage. "Back room," I looked towards the back of the bar, where Brittany was just stepping out with her guitar. "I'm so happy you're here, Q," Rachel said as everyone went to go sit down, except for Quinn, who was now wrapped up in Rachel's embrace. I decided to wait for her to finish before saying hi to Brittany. "Me too, babe," Quinn said, pulling away from Rachel's grasp only to pull her back in, kissing Rachel deeply. This went on for about two minutes, and I just stood there, jaw dropped.
Brittany came up beside me. "Uhm, what the hell is going on?" She said, equally as surprised. "They're dating, I think." Rachel continued to kiss Quinn, and I had to look away when Quinn decided to straddle Rachel. "Okay, Fabgay and Man hands, as much as this is entertaining, not really, you need to stop making out."
"We have a show, Rach, come on." Rachel snapped out of her trance as soon as she heard Brittany. "H-How long have you been standing there?" Rachel asked as she tore away from Quinn, who was now frowning.
"Long enough you're straighn't. Let's go," Brittany grabbed Rachel's arm gently and tugged her to the stage, winking back at me and again making my heart flutter. "C'mon Q, let's go sit down."
They played a few songs, like Afraid by The Neighbourhood, 505 by Artic Monkeys and some other classics, like Smells Like Teen Spirit, which got for everyone up.
"We all have that one who got away, right?!" Brittany called out to the bar. There was a chorus of yeses. "Well, unfortunately for me, that my situation right now." The audience "awed" and booed, some girl even trying to hug Brittany, who accepted it, laughing. "Well, uh, this is for everyone who doesn't want to know how their ex is doing without you. And for a special girl out there tonight." Damn you, Brittany. I said no serenading.
"Someone said they left together/I ran out the door to get her/She was holding hands with Trevor/Not the best feeling ever"
She strummed her electric guitar, Tina in the back keeping the beat on the drums, Joe and Sam singing back up while Rachel also strummed a guitar. Brittany looked right at me, being getting shy and looking at her feet, nodding her head to the beat.
"Said/"Pull yourself together"/"You should try your luck with Heather/Man I hope they slept together/Oh, the less I know the better/The less I know the better"
I looked down and fiddled with my hands, sighing. We were practically in the front row, and Brittany was unabashedly looking at me. I couldn't blame her- Puck was drunk and was dancing sloppily with Kitty and Finn on the floor, so he was distracted. Quinn had her chin in the palm of her hand, seeming sobered up already, staring at Rachel as she stared back, Rachel barely singing. They looked so in love.
"Oh my love/Can't you see you by my side/No surprise when you're on his shoulder like every night/Oh my love/Can't you see you're on my mind/Don't suppose we could convince your lover to change his mind/So goodbye"
crittany shot a pointed look towards Puck, who was completely unaware of the situation. Then she looked back at me, shaking her head. There were so many emotions trying to be conveyed, I didn't know what she was trying to say other than she wanted us to be together but it just wouldn't happen. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it before singing the last lyrics. You're on my mind, too.
"She said/"It's not now or never/Wait 10 years/Well be together/I said/"Better late than never"/"Just don't make me wait forever.""
A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update this. A lot things are going on with the Corona Virus so cramming- this chapter was kinda boring also, but there was a lot of Faberry haha. Let me know what you want to see and I'll get back to you. Thanks for reading!