KYLE
I lay awake in bed still trying to fix things in my mind. The past 6 weeks I just wanted to make Stan feel better. He doesn't deserve to feel like shit. Somewhere in there, I started thinking about how I would be a better boyfriend than this TC guy. I hate that I even thought about it because since then it is getting harder and harder to just be cool with Stan. I mean I kissed him last night. I was scared he was going to push me away. He was more welcoming than I thought. I run my hands over my face before turning over. Stan is sitting on the bed staring right at me.
"You're finally awake," he says.
"Me?" I question timidly. "What time is it?"
"Almost 11," he says casually. I sit up quickly.
"I missed breakfast!" I exclaimed.
"I got you breakfast," says Stan. "I was sleeping good and almost missed it myself. I got you a bagel, some fruit. I would have got you a coffee but you know it tastes better when it is fresh." I nod looking at him dressed in his jean shorts and a tee shirt. Is it just me or is he more relaxed? "How are you feeling?"
"Um not sure," I replied trying not blush. All I can think about is that kiss last night. I'm sure that is what he is referring to. "I'm just going to go ahead and wash up."
"All right," says Stan. "I was looking at things for us to do today. Not sure if I will find anything but I will certainly try."
"Um okay," I reply heading into the bathroom. For a change he actually looked into activities without me having to ask. I wash my face and brush my teeth. Not doing my hair just yet, I can come back to that. I go sit at the table glad that my fruit is room temperature. I dislike when the fruit is too cold, hurts my teeth. I look at the amount of fruit on the table. "Jesus, Stan, I didn't need this much."
"I wanted to make sure you are well fed," he says. "What can I say."
"Well, thanks…" I reply. I begin to eat glancing at the TV. Stan has it on the news channel not much going on from what I can see. I can feel Stan staring at me. I look away as he makes his way over to the table from his bed.
"Are you ready to talk about last night?" he asked. Hell no, I mean I just woke up. I mean we mid as well get this out of the way. God I can't even think straight.
"Uh…sure," I reply looking down at my plate. "I mean I don't know what else more there is to say." How can I tell Stan I think I might like him? I mean wouldn't that make things weird.
"Are you going to try going out with a guy?" asked Stan. I look at Stan because I don't want to go out with a guy. I just want to be with him.
"Um not really," I reply. "I'm not ready for all of that. This is still new and I want to take my time." I sigh because besides last night it is the first time I am really admitting I am attracted to men even if it is just Stan.
"Good for you," says Stan smiling. "I hope you don't mind me talking to you about it." I peek at him and he looks ecstatic. I haven't seen happy Stan in a minute. I laugh anxiously.
"Just a little but it's you know…" I look back at my plate.
"I do," smiles Stan. "What about the kiss? Was that an experiment or something?"
"No," I reply. "You're my best friend Stan, I would not use you in that way." Stan gazes at me like his wheels are turning. There are times when Stan is completely clueless and other times it's like he ate spinach thinking beyond what he usually does. I shift nervously in my seat. Fuck I need to talk to Kenny asap without Stan finding out about it.
"That's good to know," smiles Stan. "Do you always kiss like that?"
"Kiss like what?" I asked. "It's not like I kiss myself so I don't know what you mean. I was just doing what felt right." I look away putting my face in hand feeling my cheeks heat up. "Why?"
"I-It felt…." Stan starts to cough causing me to glance at him. "It felt good….almost like we have kissed before. Probably sounds dumb."
"No, it doesn't," I reply. Stan stares back at me. The feeling to protect him rises in me all over again. "Did you pick anything you wanted us to do today?" Stan blushes deeply.
"U-uh I got nothing," he says. So much for him finding some activities for us to do. I chuckle because he sounds like a child who lied about doing his homework.
"I wanted to go to the shops today if that's okay," I suggest. "I won't go crazy buying a bunch of stuff."
"I can treat you at the shops at least," says Stan smiling. "God I can't remember the last time I went shopping."
"You do tend to hold to your clothes forever," I point out. At one point I tossed some of his boxers because they literally had holes in them and he was still wearing them, like come on man. Stan grins and things seem to go back to normal.
I get dressed finally taming my curls for our outing. Stan and I end up having a great time. We each got a new pair of shoes a few shirts and jeans for the fall. We actually took the time to try on the clothes getting each other feedback. It's been a while since Stan and I went shopping like this. I think maybe before our senior year of high school. We wanted to look more mature but cool at the same time. I chuckle at the memory. Stan was nice enough to pay for everything. I appreciate the fact he wanted to pay. He is meeting me halfway instead of letting me handle everything although I said I would. For the first time in a while, I didn't feel nervous being around him. It felt like old times. We just got back to the resort after 5 hours. I must admit I am pretty tired although we didn't do much. we are still in the parking lot with our bags in hand when I hear someone call my name.
"Kyle!" Stan and I both scan the parking lot trying to figure out where the voice is coming from. I see that family patch of crazy blonde hair. I look to the right of Tweek seeing Craig. They are both walking towards us.
"Hi, Tweek," I replied in surprise.
"What are you doing here?" he asked. "It's so nice to see someone we know."
"Stan and I just needed to get away from things," I explain. "You know, college, life in general."
"Totally!" grinned Tweek. He giggles a little as Craig starts talking with Stan. Sure, don't say hi to me, fucking…. I noticed Stan rolling his eyes. "Kyle, can we talk for a minute." Tweek leads us away from Craig and Stan. "I wanted to thank you for what you did."
"You don't have to keep thanking me," I tell him. "I mean I'm just glad to see that you're happy."
"He actually finally agreed to do counseling," says Tweek excitedly. "He planned this trip to help get us back on track. It's going well so far."
"Great," I reply. "Well enjoy the rest of your time here. Getting to know each other again. Get back to those beginning romantic roots."
"We will," says Tweek. We walk back towards Stan and Craig.
"Since you give such great advice Kyle how about we treat you two to dinner," says Craig.
"That's a great idea!" says Tweek grabbing Craig's hand.
"We're busy," says Stan. "I already told you that." I glance at Stan because we're not busy. Besides I wouldn't mind having a free meal. We have spent enough money as it is.
"You can make a little time for us can't you," says Tweek looking poignant. I chuckle.
"We can do dinner," I reply. "Did you want to eat here or go somewhere off-site."
"Off-site!" exclaims Tweek. "I want to try that one Italian restaurant, what's it called again Craig?"
"Carrabba's," he replies. "Does 8 sound good." I shrug.
"It's fine," I reply.
"Great!" smiles Tweek. "We will see you then." Tweek and Craig continue into the parking lot as Stan and I continue towards the resort.
"What was Tweek talking about?" asked Stan.
"Oh yeah, I gave him some advice after I saw him and Craig fighting a while back," I reply. "You know people ask for advice and rarely take it. Tweek actually accepted the advice I gave him, seems to be working. Did you not want to go to dinner that they are obviously paying for?"
"You know I'm not a fan of Craig," says Stan.
"I know but he's has matured a bit," I reply as we enter the resort.
"If you say so," says Stan as we get on the elevator.
"Butters said Craig has gotten better," I reply. "You know I don't really talk with Craig much because we don't really have anything in common." Stan nods agreeing with me. We get to the room and I almost want to wear my new clothes to dinner but I'm not sure. I notice Stan is pretty quiet. He actually looks disturbed. I decided to give him his space. He is on his phone while I'm on my laptop. Stan eventually rolls over to take a nap. I decide now is the perfect time to message Kenny. We have another 3 hours before meeting Tweek and Craig.
Kyle: Kenny, dude, what are you doing?
Kenny: I just got off from work. Your trip going okay?
Kyle: Yeah it's fine. We ran into Tweek and Craig here so we're going to dinner with them tonight.
Kenny: Whoa, that is pretty cool. Where are you guys? Stan never told me.
Kyle: We went to a resort past Denver. It's really nice
Kenny: I know you don't have money like that. How did you pull this off?
Kyle: I used a credit card, I will be paying it off as soon as I can.
Kenny: You know it took you forever to clear the debt you did have.
Kyle: I know, South Park should still be kissing my ass for that shit. Anyway, I was mostly texting you because you are still bi right?
Kenny: Lol, still bi? What is really going on Kyle
Kyle: I think I like Stan. I'm not sure though.
Kenny: Like Stan? You're not sure? I need more details man, like what is going on?
Kyle: Um nothing really. I just think about him all the time. I want him to be happy, truly happy. I know I would make a great boyfriend for Stan.
Kenny: Have you imagined having sex with him yet?
Kyle: Kenny that's not important
I have but I'm not telling him that. I may have had to masturbate thinking about Stan a time or two.
Kenny: It so is. If you're taking it that far you like him. Have you told him?
Kyle: I'm still wrapping my mind around the fact I like my best friend who a guy. I never thought of Stan like this before.
Kenny: I'm surprised, to be honest
Kyle: Meaning what?
Kenny: You two are always together. I mean I'm surprised Stan isn't in love with you already
Kyle: No, he wasted it on that TC bastard
Kenny: You really don't like that guy but at least I know why now. Kyle likes Stanley
Kyle: Shut up. I just had to tell someone, I mean this is really hard for me
Kenny: Nothing hard about it. If you like him, tell him, I mean what's the worse that happen
Kyle: He doesn't like me in that way
Kenny: I doubt it…..
Kyle: Thanks for your help. I'll see you when we get back into town
Kenny: Okay, text me if anything else comes up
Kenny didn't really make me feel any better. I mean sure he goes around making it clear when he likes someone but I'm not like that. I have to make sure I can see a future with that person. I lean forward on my thighs a little. I can see a future with Stan for sure. I like being around him, he doesn't annoy me. He treats me well too, understands my needs. I sigh before quivering a little. I'm not going to even think about marriage right now because we're too young for that. In the same breath….I can see him being my husband.