AU!

Written for Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

House: Thunderbird

Class: Ancient Studies. Opening of the mouth ceremony: afterlife

Bonus Prompts:

(plot point) you run into your ex and their new partner

(dialogue) I'll always be watching over (pronoun). (Pronoun) will be okay, I'm sure of it.

Word Count: 2331/4500

The Hardest Thing To Do

For Sirius, the hardest thing he had to do was watch Remus and Tonks from the afterlife. When he runs into Remus and Tonks after they die, he has to choose between letting Remus go or fighting for him. But all he wants is Remus to be happy. He chooses Remus' happiness.

Sirius had never thought he would die all of a sudden. He knew he wanted to die fighting alongside the Order, but he hadn't expected to die so quickly.

When Bellatrix's spell hit him in the chest, he stumbled and fell backwards into the Veil. He thought he would feel the ground behind him, but instead, he felt a pair of arms catch him before he hit the ground.

"I've got you, Pads," the voice said in his ear. Sirius would know that voice anywhere; he had spent almost a decade with the man. He stood upright and turned around. James and Lily stood behind him, matching smiles on their faces. They looked paler, younger and happier than he had ever seen them — and he had seen their happiest moments when they were all alive.

He glanced around them and found everything to be ghostly-white in colour. He couldn't see anything for miles on end and he wondered if this was going to be his life now.

"James?" Sirius choked out, squinting with disbelief.

"I don't blame you, old man, your eyesight must have gone weak in your old age," James teased, reaching his hand out and ruffling Sirius' hair. He pulled Sirius into a tight hug and didn't let go.

"James, can't you stop for a few moments? Sirius, sorry about him, he's been really lonely without you," Lily said, smiling softly at Sirius.

When James finally let go of him, Sirius gaped at them with shock. "How—what's going on? Am I dead? Why—"

"Yeah, you're dead. The game's over, Pads," James said, shrugging lightly. "Dead as a doornail, as dead as Lily's fashion sense—"

"Don't you dare insult my fashion sense!" A loud thwack accompanied Lily's demand.

"But—Harry, he needs me! And Remus—"

"I'm sorry, Sirius, but we can't get out of here. As for Harry, he's going to be fine… I hope," Lily said, nibbling on her lower lip.

Sirius turned to look at the Veil and sighed sadly. The Veil fluttered as he watched it; it was the only spot of colour in the drab world. He wanted to go back and help the Order, but he had a feeling James and Lily were right. He turned back to James and said, "You guys tried to leave this place?"

"A couple of times, yeah," James said, nodding his head. "There's no way out, and we've realized that this is where we belong. Our time was up, and so was yours."

Sirius sighed again and nodded. "I'm going to miss them…"

"We all do, but we've found happiness here," Lily said, wrapping her arm around Sirius' waist. James agreed and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. "You're going to love it here, I promise!"

Sirius smiled, happy that he was with his best friend again, and walked with them towards his new life. Maybe he could finally find peace here in the afterlife — even though everything was white.

The afterlife wasn't as glamourous as he thought it would be. He was happy with James and Lily, yes, but he missed Remus and Harry — he even missed Molly screaming at him. Hell, he even missed Kreacher, and that was something he had never imagined doing.

When James and Lily had appeared after he had fallen through the Veil, he had assumed the afterlife was going to be completely white with nothing in sight. Fortunately, he had been proven wrong when James and Lily had brought him to a pair of large pearly doors with golden arches. They had walked through the gates and arrived in a beautiful suburban neighbourhood.

The houses were all the same; the same chimneys, the same perfectly-kept gardens, the same windows and doors. The streets were long and winding, and they all led to the same place. Vantage Valley had innumerable bright orbs flying overhead which allowed the dead to witness their loved ones' lives on Earth, and many dead wizards and witches would spend their afterlife watching over their families.

Life in the afterlife was always smooth; Sirius could go anywhere he pleased, do whatever he wished to do, and there was no one to stop him. That was the worst part; when he was alive, the real reason to wreak havoc in Hogwarts was to create a legacy for the next generation of pranksters. But here, in the afterlife, no one cared if he pranked people or not. No one cared what he was up to. As they couldn't die again, there was no reason to do anything reckless. Time in the afterlife worked differently than on earth. There was neither night nor day in the Afterlife, and it was very difficult to ascertain how long it had been since they had died. Most of them didn't care about the time; they only cared about watching over their families from the Vantage Valley.

He spent most of his time with James and Lily, but he soon realized that they were still head over heels in love with each other and would spend a long time snogging. He grew bored with his afterlife and soon started spending more time in the Vantage Valley.

It was a great valley halfway up the mountains, stretching out for endless miles. The hollowness of the valley amplified the sounds of the gurgling streams. The valley was swaddled in a veil of poltergeist-white vapour. The winds' glacial breath swept through the valley, licking it with its icy caress. It neither moaned, nor sighed, nor made any sound at all. It simply haunted the valley just like the dead who arrived in hordes to catch a glimpse of their successors, constantly gnawing at them with its ravening fangs. A lake gleamed in the otherworldly light, its appearance peaty, but pools of molten gold lay naked in the hazy light, the lake's dew-silver surface sparkling like pixie dust. The visage of the lake was crystal-clear and tranquil, surrounded by avenues of large, oak trees. On either side, indomitable mountains loomed, enfolding in on the dead men's minds with their might. In spite of the large crowds gathered to witness the lives of their loved ones, it was nearly silent in the valley.

Sirius found himself in the Vantage Valley once again. He couldn't stop watching over Remus through the bright orbs. He knew it would only cause him more pain, but he was unable to stop himself from keeping an eye on Remus.

Remus had not only been one of his best friends, but he had also been his lover for a long, long time. When Sirius had been carted off to Azkaban, their relationship had come to a screeching halt, and after they had reunited, they hadn't been able to rekindle the flame even though they had tried their level best.

Sirius couldn't stop himself from watching his ex interact with Tonks; he watched as they secretly got married, and he felt his heart shatter into smithereens when he saw that they were expecting a baby. Oh, how he had dreamt of one day adopting a child with Remus by his side. How he had hoped to get married to Remus and call him his husband one day. Now, he knew that he would never be able to fulfil his dream.

Despite watching Remus with Tonks, Sirius couldn't stop loving him. He had never stopped, not even when he was in Azkaban. Remus had always been his Patronus, and Sirius knew if he cast his Patronus again, he would utilise his memories with Remus for it. He would think of all their firsts: their first kiss under the mistletoe, the first time he had held Remus' hand and Remus had blushed shyly, their first date in Hogsmeade where he had watched Remus browse through the shelves in the bookshop, the first time they had gotten caught snogging in the closet by McGonagall, the first time they had made love under the moonlight, and the first time Remus had yelled at him that he loved his pathetic arse. He knew he would think of Remus running his fingers through Sirius' long tresses, Remus' intoxicating smile, and contagious laughter. He would think of the way Remus' eyes would light up every time he talked about something he was passionate about.

As he watched Remus and Tonks, he felt like he was still walking in a daze, dark clouds amassing in his head. The mental anguish caused him to rethink and relive his memories with Remus, but he knew now they would only be bitter-sweet.

He soon learned how to keep his despair and melancholy under wraps from James and Lily. They never saw Sirius without a smile on his face, and they never noticed the grievous gleam in his eyes—or maybe they ignored it, thinking that time would heal his wounds.

When Teddy was born, Sirius watched him and boasted to James, "He's so cute… He looks just like Remus with those brown eyes of his… He's just as good-looking as Harry was. You should come and see him with me."

James agreed, and the trio went to look at Teddy through the orb. But while they were watching Teddy and squealing over how cute he looked, they realized that time had passed in the real world and it was time for the Final Battle.

All of a sudden, they felt a gentle tug on their navels. They followed it towards the pearly gates and were stunned to see Remus and Tonks appear. They had known that they would see Remus one day, but they hadn't known it would be so soon.

Sirius felt conflicted as he watched Remus with Tonks. On one hand, he was delighted that they were reunited with Remus once again, but at the same time, he felt terrible for being grateful that Remus was dead too.

And then, there was the matter of Tonks. Tonks deserved to be happy, and so did Remus. If they were happy together, who was Sirius to interfere in their relationship? Sirius decided he would try not to feel so jealous of Tonks' relationship with Remus. After all, Sirius was Remus' past, and Tonks was his future.

"Moony! Oh, Moony, I missed you!" James screamed as he lunged at Remus, knocking him down and hugging him tightly.

Remus was in a daze. One moment he was fighting Death Eaters, and the next second he found himself on his knees, breathing his last painful breaths. The only good thing was that Tonks was by his side, ever faithful, ever loyal.

"James? Lily? Sirius?" Remus cried out with shock as he was dragged into a fierce hug by Sirius.

"Oh, Merlin, I missed you…" Sirius sobbed, his arms wrapped tightly around Remus. Remus' eyes filled with tears at Sirius' words and he whispered, "I missed you too, Sirius. So much…"

Tonks coughed loudly and looked at Sirius amused. "Hello, Sirius. Nice to see you too, Sirius."

"Hi, I'm Lily Potter," Lily said with a smile. "This is James, he's a bit emotional."

"I can understand," Tonks said with a grin as the two women watched Remus and Sirius cry in each other's arms, James clinging to them like a koala.

"Welcome to the Afterlife, I guess," Lily said, motioning for Tonks to follow her through the gates.

Sirius grinned through his tears and said, "I love your kid, Moony. He's gorgeous!"

Remus smiled sadly and said, "He is, isn't he? You know when I found out Tonks was pregnant, I thought I didn't want to be a father—especially during these times—but when Teddy was born—"

"You cried. You talked to yourself like you had escaped from the Janus Thickey Ward, I know," Sirius said, grinning at Remus' stunned face.

"How did you know that?" Remus asked, bewildered.

"He stalks you, Moony," James added helpfully, ruffling Sirius' hair mischievously.

"I do not! I stalk everyone equally!"

"Sure, tell me then… What did Harry do last night?" James asked innocently.

"You don't want to know," Sirius said, shaking his head quickly. "A parent should never know what—"

"He snuck into Hogwarts, you idiot." James laughed as he smacked Sirius' head.

"Now that you're here, Tonks, you'll be forced to watch them relive their days of yore," Lily said with an amused shake of her head.

"Can't wait," Tonks said, grinning as they walked through the gates and into their future.

James had one arm slung around Remus and the other arm around Sirius. The three best friends caught each other up with everything that had happened in their lives. James was busy explaining the Vantage Valley to Remus when Sirius turned his head and caught Remus' eye.

The look that passed between the two men was obvious. They needed to talk about their new role in each other's life—or well, afterlife. Sirius gave Remus a sad smile and a small shake of his head to tell Remus that he wouldn't interfere in Remus' life with Tonks. Remus' shoulders fell and he nodded just a bit to let Sirius know that he appreciated his gesture.

"Sirius, do you want to talk about Remus? Maybe you two could get together and—" Lily asked when they were alone later.

"No, I'll always be watching over him. He'll be fine, I'm sure of it," Sirius murmured, his eyes soft with affection.

"But… will you?" Lily whispered.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Sirius smiled brightly at Lily and said, "You're thinking too much, Evans."

"Potter, I'm a Potter now," Lily reminded him with a small grin. Sirius grinned at her, tugging her back towards the others.

What Sirius and Remus had was in the past, what Remus had with Tonks was his present and future. Sirius decided to keep his feelings hidden from Remus and simply be grateful for all the glorious memories they had together. Only time would heal his broken heart, but would it work when the object of his desires was so close by? Only time would tell...

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