"So, tell me something," the Rokubi's jinchuuriki said pleasently. The container for the Six-Tailed Wolf was a comparatively old man by shinobi standards and his face was marked by a long scar that crossed his forehead and the bridge of his nose before disappearing briefly under an eyepatch and reappearing to trail down down his left cheek to the corner of his jaw. Given the uncanny healing that the other jinchuuriki possessed, the wound that inflicted the mark must have been a terrible one. "What do you and your organisation want with me? My prisoner, more precisely."

He was rather remarkably cheerful given that he was currently bound by wrists and ankles with ninja wire and then bound, again by wires, to Kisame's sword. Permanent contact with Sameheda would be painful even if it wasn't draining away at your chakra.

"Shut up," Kisame snorted.

"No, seriously," the man protested. "I'm just consumed by curiousity here. You're the first people to seek me out in about twenty years - I'm reasonably sure that my home village is quite convinced that I'm long dead. But you go to all the trouble of hunting me down, beating me up and now you're hauling me off to some undisclosed location. It's quite the little mystery."

"Shut up," Kisame ordered again.

The old man chuckled. "Now what could a couple of famous Nuke-nin - S-ranked, no less - want with little old me? Oh, I suppose that you could have been hired to kill me in revenge for something, but you could have done that back there. No need to drag me around all this way if that's all that this is about. No, there's a bigger plan here. So what's the story?"

"None of your business," growled Kisame. Didn't the old fart ever shut up? He was worse than the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki.

"Aw, come on. Who am I supposed to tell?"

"Shut up!"

"Twirl your mustache and gloat a little, you know you want to."

"I don't have a mustache."

The jinchuuriki sighed. "Your partner just isn't getting into this," he called to Itachi, who ignored him. "I know, how about I sing a song to cheer you up. Scowling like that all the time can't be good for you!" He took a deep breath. "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll -"

"SHUT UP!" Kisame screamed and started smacking Sameheda against trees, leading with the side to which the jinchuuriki was bound.

"-get on your nerves - ow - get on your - ack! - nerves, get on - ouch - your nerves. I know a - yeOW! - song that'll -"

"Kisame," Itachi ordered. "Stop that. We need him alive."

"Aha! I knew that you wanted me alive for something," the now rather bruised and battered man declared smugly. "Tell you what, you tell me about it and I'll stop singing."

"No." "Deal!"

The two Akatsuki members glared at each other. To be more precise, Kisame glared and Itachi stared, although for the senior surviving member of the Uchiha family, starting pretty much counted as glaring. Kisame broke the silence. "It's alright for you, you aren't carrying him!"

Itachi shrugged. "We're taking you to have the Rokubi removed from you and bound into a statue," he explained tersely. "Once we have all nine of the Bijuu we will use their power to conquer the world."

There was a pause as the prisoner matched gazes with Itachi, and then the man began to laugh. "Y'know, I thought I'd seen everything, but I have to admit you caught me offguard there. Never would have figured on an Uchiha having a sense of humour. It's kind of novel, like a talking dog."

"What's novel about talking dogs?" Itachi enquired.

Kisame and the jinchuuriki exchanged looks. "You encounter a lot of talking dogs, Itachi?" asked the former Mist-nin.

"Between the Inuzuka and Hatake Kakashi's summonings?" Itachi asked archly. "All the time when I was in Konoha."

"Why'd you say he has a sense of humour?" Kisame asked.

The jinchuuriki looked surprised. "Why that tall tale he spun about your plans, of course. Really, what are you up to?"

"It's just what he said," Kisame told him as Itachi moved off ahead of them. "Rip the bijuu out of you, then use the combined power of all nine to conquer the world."

"Just like that, huh?" the Rokubi's container said sarcastically. "And how are you going to use that power, may I ask? You're a bit old to become a jinchuuriki and amusing as it would be to watch you exploding as a Bijuu burst out of you, I don't see how it would help you achieve your goals."

"It's..." Kisame paused. Now that he thought about it, he wasn't quite sure of the mechanics of using the power of the Bijuu. "It's complicated. And I'm not going into detail."

"Does it involve that very fetching nail polish that you're wearing? I sure wish I was in a secret organisation so I could wear purple nail polish like that." Sarcasm was practically dripping off the words. "Do you all sit around in the evening, painting each other's nails and exchanging beauty tips?"

"Didn't you say you'd shut up if we told you what we were doing?" Kisame demanded.

The jinchuuriki smirked. "I said I'd stop singing," he explained brightly. "And look, I haven't sung a single note since. Never said I'd quit talking to you." He paused. "That'd be rude."

I'll just ignore him, Kisame decided. It shouldn't be that hard now that he's stopped singing.

"So, how are things with you and your girlfriend?" the jinchuuriki asked.

"Girlfriend?" Kisame asked. Dammit, fell into his trap, he cursed himself.

"You know, the Uchiha up ahead?" the jinchuuriki said brightly. "Does she have a nice ass under that cloak?"

"Are you crazy?" Kisame exclaimed. "Itachi's a guy, you moron."

The man considered that, a brief but blessed moment of silence. "Okay, so how taut is your boyfriend's ass? I'm not prejudiced."

"Listen you fleabitten mutt," Kisame growled, stopping walking to shake Sameheda back and forth for emphasis. "Itachi is a guy! I am a guy! He is not gay! I am not gay! And we are not a goddamn couple!"

"Kisame!" snapped Itachi. "Stop playing with our prize."

"He's really got you whipped..." the jinchuuriki advised as Kisame obediently resumed walking.

"Shut up!" Kisame demanded, but there was a slight hint of a whine in his voice.

"Touchy subject?" asked the man sweetly. "Okay, I tell you what - let's talk about something else. Which bijuu are you going to be using for this little game of yours?"

"All nine," Kisame grunted.

The man started laughing again. "Oh you crack me up, kid. Really you do. You're gonna use all nine of the Bijuu? But which nine? You dumbass."

"What the hell are you talking about, mutt?" Kisame grunted. "There are nine Bijuu. Everyone knows that. Always have been."

"Oh reeeally?"

"Yeah. What, how could there be more? The one tail, the two tail and so on up to the nine tail."

The Six Tail's container continued to cackle. "There's no law that says that there has to be, fishface. Fact is the number changes every now and then. Didn't you hear about how Ichibi no Shukaku used to be a monk from the Country of the Wind? Do you think that he was the first One-Tail? Or the only one? Demons come and demons go, it happens all the time. Someone seals a demon away and destroys it, some other schmuck turns himself into a demon. One demon grows more powerful and sprouts another tail, another gets beaten down and loses a tail. There's no special bonus to having one of each, shit for brains."