"There you are. I've been looking all over for you."

Ana rolled her eyes at Safiya, who strode over to her bench beside the pond. She had snuck away after her duties to check on her squad and Kamilah. The morons were fine as always. The latter, though sounding better each day, still skirted around more probing questions. Ana had made more progress coaxing little giggles and jokes from her, but she would still feel better if she was there in person with Kamilah. At least it won't be long now – just two more days and they would return to Egypt.

"I haven't moved from here since you called," Ana deadpanned, earning a light smack on the head as Safiya sat down.

"I meant before I called." Safiya stretched her arms over her head and gave a satisfied sigh, reclining on the wooden bench. "Why are you here by yourself? Where's teddy man?"

"Booty call. And why do you keep calling Khalid 'teddy man'?"

"'Cause he's as harmless as a teddy? Looks strong, can beat people up, but he won't do it."

"Unless someone's threatened."

"That's right." Safiya snapped her fingers. "So, how are you doing?"

"Fine."

"If you're fine, you wouldn't be a broody ass here by yourself." She gestured at the garden they were in, located beside the family residences.

"What if it's my new hobby?"

"Please," Safiya scoffed. "Your new hobby's back in Cairo."

Ana kicked at her feet, but Safiya merely raised her brows pointedly. She sighed, "I'm kind of worried about her."

"Oh?"

"She's been having a bad time."

"That sucks."

"Yeah." She fidgeted with her fingers. "How's Zahra?"

"Good. Not that great without me right now, but I'll have that sorted out soon." Safiya snickered, but quieted when Ana just gave an amused snort and no follow-up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just been thinking about mama lately."

"Why, did she haunt your dreams or something?"

"Nah. I'm just…thinking." Ana scratched her jaw idly. "We never knew why she died."

"Bullets. They're not very good for your health."

Ana rolled her eyes. "I know. But why did she take the bullets?" When Safiya cocked her head in silent question, she continued, "Was she…sacrificing herself for someone else? Was it on accident?"

Safiya's gaze fell from Ana, moving to the pond.

"What if someone chose to let her go?"

"Does it matter? She's gone. The end." Safiya's tone grew sharper with each word before she paused abruptly, as if checking herself. She glanced over at Ana. "Heard there's one KIA on your team. Is that why you're here?"

Shrugging slowly, Ana said, "Maybe."

"Was there a choice?"

"Yeah."

"Did you make it?"

"…Yeah."

"Do you regret it?"

"I…don't know. Regret that I had to make that choice, maybe."

"Cop-out answer." Safiya straightened herself. "But expected. Was the mission successful because of what you did?"

"I guess so."

"Then you did what you had to do."

"Was it right?"

Safiya's face was blank. "I can't tell you that."

"Great. Thanks a lot."

"Look, I can't tell you that. No one can tell you that. If you want a clear-cut line between right and wrong, then war's a fucking bad place to look for it." She sighed heavily. "If you want advice or some shit, then you have to ask papa or someone else. The way I look at it, it's just 'action' and 'consequence'. If you do something, are you able to handle the consequences?"

"Cop-out answer."

Safiya snorted, mouth curling in a cynical smirk. "Selfish one too. But it's how I manage, anyway."

Ana let out a breath, dragging a hand down her face. "I'm a hypocrite."

"Everyone is."

"No, I mean – do you know how I…got Kamilah's attention?"

"According to her, by being an idiot."

"Yeah. But back then, I had a mission to take out the insurgent 2IC. She was alone and being cornered, and I just shoved my rifle at Khalid and ran off to help her."

"And? Do you regret what you did?"

"I abandoned my mission."

"Not what I asked."

"…No. I don't regret helping her. But I saved her just because I had an attachment to her."

"Are you happy with the results?"

"I–, yes."

"Then what about this mission? What do you think of the results?"

"I helped to put an end to the insurgency…?"

"Then that's it. You made the best choice at hand."

"With a double standard."

"Ana…"

"If Kamilah was the one getting shot at, I would've fucking vaulted from the roof just to help her."

"But she wasn't," Safiya said. When Ana's face remained stiff, Safiya squeezed her cheeks with her fingers. "Don't overthink it, Ana. You completed your mission. You saved more lives from being fucked over by a few uppity assholes. Celebrate that."

Ana did not move when her face was being 'massaged', so Safiya relinquished her hold and inched closer on the bench.

"Listen to me, Ana. Don't dwell on it. These choices will only pile up as time goes on. And if you're not careful, you'll be crushed under all that weight you insist on carrying."

"It's not like I want to."

"Who does? The key, my dear, is not beating yourself up over something you've done, but learning from it. You learn, you adapt, you move on. Dwelling on it won't help. Not now, and definitely not 20 years down the road."

Ana remained quiet, eyes turned downwards in contemplation. Safiya waited, giving her time to turn things over in her head, before standing up and patting off the front of her pants. Then she grabbed onto Ana's shoulders and hauled her to her feet. "Come on. Let's go eat."

"Is that all you do nowadays? Stuff your face?" Ana groaned, walking down the path at Safiya's urging.

"I'm just hungry, alright? Besides, it's more fun than moping in a garden and looking at fishes."

"I don't mope."

"Sulk."

"Ugh."

The Cairo detachment was scheduled to leave before the Sa'ka, and on the day of their departure, Safiya had sent Ana off with a hug and promise to call soon. Also a backhanded compliment that Ana only fully processed after the plane's landing ramp had closed, and that woman would get an earful later. But for now, there were more important things to think of.

Ana's feet tapped against the floor in an impatient rhythm as she chattered aimlessly with Khalid, who seemed much more laid-back than usual. Thankfully, the flight was only a little over an hour long. The restlessness had no time to settle in, and it gave her a full afternoon to put herself together before Kamilah's duty shift ended. She went out of base with Khalid to escape from canteen food, then nipped into a string of stores to get the items she needed to fulfill the promise she had made months before.

So it was that Kamilah opened her door at night, to find Ana with a bottle of pinot noir in one hand, a small bouquet of flowers in the other, and a box of chocolates in the crook of an arm. Her grin was accompanied by a single stalk of rose, held in place between her teeth.

Kamilah's features twitched as a myriad of emotions swept through. Then she pressed a hand to her mouth when she snorted, trying to stifle the giggles that burst into laughter. Unfortunately for Ana, the laughter was infectious, and the rose hurtled from her mouth when she broke out laughing as well. Kamilah caught it before it dropped to the floor, grimacing when the thorns dug into her palm.

"Nice reflexes, sweetie." Ana strode into the room and was promptly drawn into a tight embrace. Her wide smile softened at the arms wrapped tightly around her torso, fingers searching and clutching at different spots on her back, as if to make sure Ana was real. Or to check for bandages on her body. Maybe both.

"Is this a full-body checkup?"

Kamilah took a deep breath and sighed, as Ana squeezed about her shoulders. "I'm off duty."

"Ever heard of overtime?"

Leaning back to fix Ana with a wry smile, she said, "I've been on eternal overtime since I met you."

"Sounds like a handful," Ana murmured, kissing her gently, slowly. The urgency that burnt within her was doused in an instant; pent-up affection finding release in the soft glide of lips on lips. There was no need to rush – they had all the time they needed.

"You're worth it," Kamilah said when they parted.

Something in her quivered as the tender gaze and smile held her captive. She could not comprehend the blend of soft affection and fierce passion in her heart just yet. But one thing of which she was sure: there was nowhere else in the world she would rather be right then.

"At a loss for words?" Kamilah asked.

"No. I just forgot how beautiful you are." Ana bit on her lip to stop a tease escaping, when a faint blush grew on Kamilah's cheeks. Evidently she had gone too long without open adoration.

Ana released Kamilah from the embrace, and held up the gifts. "I believe you ordered these?" She noted the short cut beside Kamilah's brow, and the long cut running down the side of her hand and wrist when she took the items.

"You didn't have to, you know."

"I know." She waited for Kamilah to stash the chocolate and wine away, and set the flowers aside. Grasping onto her hands, Ana lifted them to examine the cut, and discovered an abrasion on the base of her other palm. They seemed to have healed considerably, though they still looked red underneath the scabs. "What happened?"

"I…wasn't really paying attention. And I rode into a truck trying to change lanes."

"Then?"

"I flew off my bike?" Kamilah looked a little sheepish. "I was kind of…over the speed limit."

Ana sighed helplessly, running her thumbs gently over the wounds. She turned Kamilah's hands over to find skinned knuckles. Almost dreading what else she would find, she lifted the hands to look at the elbows – another abrasion on one, and scratches on the other.

"Oh sweetie," she sighed again, aching at the sight and the thought that Kamilah had to handle it alone. "You should leave the injuries to me. I'm the meathead." She raised a hand to worry at the cut near Kamilah's brow. "Weren't you wearing your helmet?"

"That's from training. Shrapnel."

"Ah. Does it still hurt?"

"A little. But it's alright."

"Of course." Ana smiled at her, noting the shadows beneath her eyes. "Well, I'm back now. I'll take care of you. Don't look at me like that," she added when Kamilah raised her brows. "I know what to do. And I have the time."

"Oh?" Kamilah strode over to her study desk with Ana in tow, reaching for her buzzing phone. "Did they give you leave?"

"One week."

"That's good." She typed quickly into her phone, wearing a light frown which disappeared when she set the device down again. Lips curling back into a smile, she rested her arms around Ana's neck. "So, how'd the mission go?"

Gazing back into tired eyes lit with mirth, Ana could only shrug nonchalantly and say, "It went well. All thanks to me, of course." She felt a brief twinge at the boast, but Kamilah seemed content to accept it without her usual wit.

"Of course," she drawled, pecking Ana on the lips. "What would the army ever do without you?"

With the break from her official duties, Ana's personal mission was finally set in motion.

Kamilah, while more than capable at taking care of her own wounds, was less diligent in…everything else. The hospital's logistics systems had undergone a total revamp to accommodate the capabilities of their new omnic staff and, unfortunately, hit a massive road bump that threw their records up in the air. While the technicians were scurrying to recover the data, the hospital staff were stuck with using an older backup system, and worked their fingers to the bone entering each new piece of information manually. First Lieutenant Shadid was one of the more experienced medics in charge of fixing the mistakes their subordinate officers made, in addition to their usual workload.

Needless to say, it had left her perpetually worn out for the past couple of weeks. And Ana was dismayed – though unsurprised – to find out instant foods, coffee, and aspirin had been Kamilah's main source of sustenance. The medic always returned looking haggard and had to be forced to shove food into her mouth before slumping over in bed. And even then, Ana had been woken up a few times from her restless fidgeting in the early morning.

So her schedule quickly took on a routine: she woke up earlier in the morning to make sure her charge ate, chauffeured Kamilah to work, prepared for any shift extensions, drove the zombie back whenever she knocked off, and made sure she was tucked into bed after taking food and any necessary medication. Ana figured she was doing a pretty good job – Kamilah never snapped at her despite having frayed nerves, fell asleep faster under gentle ministrations, and woke up looking nearly human again in the mornings.

And where she made progress with Kamilah, her special plan to pamper her partner proved to be a little tricky. After dropping off the medic with a kiss and reminder to not strangle anyone with her bare hands, Ana made a trip back to her family home with a bag of groceries for practice in the kitchen.

"How many times have you tried already?"

"Once."

"And how was it?"

Ana poured oil into the skillet. "A little…burnt. On the outside."

Zaid laughed as she put a steak in. They were on a video call so he could walk Ana through the cooking process. The tablet sat in its stand by the stove, angled so he could see the pan's contents and catch a glimpse of Ana's face. "You are your mother's daughter."

"Mama could cook."

"Yeah, after I happened."

"So she learnt for you?"

"Ha! No. She didn't have to, really. But your teta's an antiquated old crow and your mama wanted to win her over. Flip it, habibti."

"Antiquated?" Ana asked, turning the steak over as instructed.

"Yup. 'A wife knows how to cook' and all that nonsense."

"And?"

"And she learnt. She was more of a pain to teach than you."

"Thanks?"

"She once set our rice on fire."

"What? How?"

"Beats me. We put it out quickly though, so…"

"Thank god she was better when she had us."

"Yup. Love conquers all, as they say. Even inept cooking."

"Just hope this one conquers in time."

"Don't worry. Kamilah will enjoy it even if it's not that good."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Ana cocked her head, staring at the tablet unamused.

"Trust me. If you love a person enough, even a piece of charcoal will taste good."

"Let me guess: mama made you charcoal."

"It was chicken. Was. She wanted to throw it away, but I shoved it into my mouth anyway. And I think you left it for too long!" Zaid added hurriedly.

Jolting back to attention, Ana lifted the steak with her thongs to inspect the darker sear on its underside. She groaned in frustration, then pressed its pink side against the pan.

"It's alright. I think it's just overcooked. And are you doing any sides?"

"Salad and gratin. Later."

"Can you two finish that?"

"Yeah. We can eat quite a bit if we want." Ana transferred the steak onto a plate. Flicking off the stove's switch, she grabbed a knife and cut into the meat. There was just a tinge of pink – more done than desired.

"How is it?" Zaid asked when she took a bite.

"Could be a little rarer." She shrugged, glancing over at her phone vibrating over the countertop. Ana grabbed it to find an incoming call from Kamilah.

"You have things handled from here? I've to go."

"Yeah. Thanks, papa."

"Good luck for your dinner."

Ana accepted the call as Zaid's face disappeared from her tablet's screen, and cut up the steak. "Hello."

"Ana, I think I'll be held back for a while later."

"Of course. What time?"

"I'm not sure. The system's just restored and we have to check through it. After we're done, I suppose."

"That's good." She speared a piece of meat on the tip of her knife, delivering it into her mouth. "Just call me whenever."

"Thanks. Are you eating?"

"Yeah. Er–, afternoon tea?" At Kamilah's sigh, she said, "You forgot to eat, didn't you?"

"Maybe. I'll…go grab something."

"Not coffee alone. Please."

"Mm. See you later."

"Bye."

Ana took another bite, cocking her head. It was not that bad, but she should try this one more time, at least. Practice does make perfect.

It was lucky that the hospital managed to get its act together before the end of the week. Kamilah started to retain some semblance of life at the end of the day; she had more energy to indulge in hobbies – taking Ana out on a ride, watching her sci-fi show, going for a swim, entertaining a girlfriend who got frisky. Perhaps what truly improved her mood was finally being given a few days' break after working for weeks straight with little rest, and she agreed to a trip back to the Amari home without second thought.

Ana woke up with a feverish energy that morning, bustling here and there at double speed, and earned a curious look from Kamilah before the medic alighted from her car. Then she zipped over to her house, read through her checklist to make sure it was in order, and zipped back out again to gather the items she needed.

Time flew by quickly with her endless rushing about the house, and the amount of focus she carried in the kitchen. Before long, she had everything in place and was driving back to base to pick Kamilah up. With a little nap in the car, Kamilah appeared more alert and relaxed than when she had strode out of the hospital's entrance.

"Is something going on?" Kamilah asked, as the hands on her hips guided her up the stairs.

"Yes." Ana ushered her along into the her room, where Kamilah's bag was lying on the bed. She steered her partner towards the bathroom first, and turned on the lights. Pointing towards the sink where an array of bottles were lined up, she explained, "Cleansers, washes, conditioner, moisturisers, masks are all there. Use them all if you wish. I would've set the bath for you, but it'd be cold by the time we reached back here."

"Ana," Kamilah said slowly, watching her fill up the tub. "What did you do?"

Ana spun around, eyes wide in mock hurt. "Why do you assume I did something wrong?"

"I didn't say something wrong." She smirked, crossing her arms. "So did you?"

"No. Is this what I get for trying to take care of my girlfriend? Suspicion? Kamilah Shadid, you are horrible." Ana reached for two bottles of bath oil. "Would lavender do, or does rose suit your heartless ways better?"

"Lavender is fine."

"Excellent choice." Into the water the oil went, and Ana turned off the faucet. "How about some scented candles? Or maybe a hot sniper for company?"

Kamilah gave a bemused huff. "You're ridiculous."

"So are you." She dipped in for a kiss. "Take your time, and come down when you're done."

At a nod from Kamilah, Ana flew back down to the kitchen, cranking up the oven and tossing the salad already neatly arranged in a bowl. She timed herself, waiting until the gratin was halfway done before setting the steaks on the skillet. The plan was going along perfectly – that was until she realised she had overestimated Kamilah's bath time, when a hand slid up her arm to rest on her bicep.

She smiled when Kamilah rested her chin on a shoulder. "Done so quickly?" Ana asked.

"It got boring without you. Do you need help?"

"No, I've got it." She turned off the stove, and transferred the steaks onto their respective plates. "Actually, could you help me bring the salad and wine out first?"

"Yup."

By the time Ana reached the table with plates and oven-hot baking dish in hand, Kamilah was already twisting the corkscrew into the bottle.

"So, you haven't said. Why all this?"

"You don't remember?" Ana asked, setting the dishes down.

"No, I really don't."

"It's our first-year anniversary."

Kamilah blinked as her hand jerked, cork popping free from the bottle. "Oh. I…haven't been keeping track."

"You've been busy. I'm surprised you even remembered who I am, honestly."

"Me too." She smiled, filling their glasses and sitting down. "But you're not that easy a person to get rid of."

"Did you even try?"

"No."

Ana laughed. She sat next to Kamilah, and raised her glass. "Well then. Here's to you, sweetheart. For letting me stay with you. For all your love and patience, for being the amazing woman that you are. The past year with you has been a dream, and with all my heart, I hope it will never end."

Wearing a soft smile, Kamilah leaned in. "Ana?"

"Hm?"

"You forgot to put a ring in my glass."

"Albi," Ana sighed. "You are spending too much time with me."

Kamilah tilted the glass in her hand. "Darling, no time spent with you is too much. I could spend every second of every day by your side, and it still wouldn't be enough."

"My, Kamilah. Are you saying you love me?"

"I'm saying, you're the reason I wake up and smile every morning. You're the reason I look forward to what the next day might bring. You make life worth living. And I can't imagine living without you."

"Me neither." Ana clinked their glasses together. "Thank heavens we're together then." She took a sip, gaze never leaving Kamilah's. Just that smile on her lips alone, made all the effort worth it. But then again…

Ana nodded at Kamilah's plate, reaching for the small porcelain pitcher to the side. "Go on. Try it before it gets cold." She drizzled the Béarnaise over the steak, then watched expectantly as Kamilah tasted a bite. "So? How is it?"

"It's very good."

"Really? You're not just saying that?"

Kamilah cocked her head. "It really is." She smiled when Ana bounced in her seat excitedly, then cut off another piece and fed it to Ana. "Did you make all this from scratch?"

"Yep."

"Even the sauce?"

"Yep!"

"I'm impressed. This is good," Kamilah said, taking a bigger bite this time. "I'm proud of you."

"You know what? Me too." Ana dug into the food with gusto. "Took me a few times to get the steak right."

"You mean, you actually practiced?"

"Yeah? I've a few talents of my own, Milah. But cooking is not one of them." She swallowed when Kamilah held her chin, turning her head to press their lips lightly together.

"Thank you. You didn't have to."

"It's nothing, albi. And if you want to thank me? Help me finish all these."

Kamilah laughed softly as Ana scooped her a serving of gratin – a mix of potatoes and sweet potatoes. "You know, I have this strange feeling that I should've dressed up for this."

"Oh please, we're doing this at home. Shorts are fine, thank you. Gives me more leg to admire." Ana slid one foot up Kamilah's calf, earning a coquettish smile from behind the wine glass. "Besides, you need to relax after work. Enjoy the freedom to do whatever you want."

"Oh?" Kamilah said, voice lilting playfully. "And if I want to eat the steak with my hands?"

"Go ahead. But on one condition." Ana leaned in. "I get to lick off your fingers."

"Can't wait, can you?"

"It's been months, babe. I'm surprised I haven't pounced on you yet."

"Honestly? Me too." Kamilah took a sip from her glass. "I guess we know what's for dessert, then."

Ana froze.

She knew she had forgotten something.

Ana's little oversight proved to be convenient – their dinner filled them up nicely, and they fell into the sofa together in the post-meal daze, nursing the rest of the wine and watching whatever was on TV. Actually, Kamilah did most of the watching. Ana spent most of her time trailing fingertips over bare skin and nuzzling into Kamilah's hair, placing little kisses on her hand, cheek, and shoulder only to be slapped off because Kamilah wanted to focus on the movie. She was not deterred, though. Her hands kept moving and caressing sweet spots that made Kamilah lean into her touch. As long as Ana did not obstruct her movie-watching, she was allowed to do whatever she desired.

And when the movie ended, Kamilah took her sweet time in turning the television off. She poured the last of the wine into her glass, and drank it down slowly while Ana watched her hungrily from the side. She set the glass back on the coffee table, turning to look at Ana with a knowing smile on her face. Curling her finger in a 'come hither' gesture, Kamilah laughed when she was knocked onto her back, and moaned into the heated kiss that soon descended upon her. Ana barely let up, hands and lips reclaiming the one she had dreamt and yearned for, leaving her partner a flushed mess beneath her. She ground her hips between Kamilah's legs, eliciting a groan and hips bucking in return.

Sneaking a hand between them, Ana reached beneath the waistband of Kamilah's shorts, smirking at the lack of underwear. Kamilah bit her lip as Ana rubbed her firmly, fingers dipping briefly in a tease before playing about her entrance again. A whine and a pleading look cut her patience short, and she slid a finger in easily. Another soon followed, Kamilah already tight around her digits.

"Missed me this much, hm?"

"Ana," Kamilah groaned, breath hitching as Ana's fingers curled and dug in. It didn't take long before she started writhing under the fingers pumping relentlessly into her, and finally cried her pleasure into Ana's mouth, body taut and trembling.

Wearing a crooked smile at what was perhaps her fastest record with Kamilah, Ana pulled out, free hand caressing Kamilah's reddened cheeks. Then she gathered her limp lover in her arms and made her way upstairs. Kamilah was ready by the time Ana set her down on the bed, but not quite ready yet, judging from the lack of force when she tried to roll Ana onto her back. With a grin, Ana got back to work, kissing every inch of skin revealed by each piece of clothing she pulled off. She kept Kamilah's wrists pinned to the bed, taking her over and over, until any thought of seizing dominance had fallen from her mind in breathless pants and cries.

By the time Ana was done, Kamilah was completely spent, and took a while to be roused back to life.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Ana smiled when glazed eyes flickered up towards her. "Wasn't too rough, was I?"

"Can't feel my legs," Kamilah said drowsily, though one of her legs shifted to hook over Ana's. She returned the gentle kisses, arms draping lazily around Ana's neck. "You haven't…"

"It's alright," she murmured. "We have all the time in the world."

"Mm."

Kamilah offered no argument, and nestled tightly against Ana when she lay down as well. "Love you," she mumbled into Ana's neck.

"Love you too."

Ana held her, tracing circular patterns over her back and shoulders, lulling her to sleep. Lying there peacefully with Kamilah in her arms, it was easy to forget the days she had to spend alone and miles away. She smiled to herself, pressing a kiss on top of Kamilah's head.

"You know," she whispered into dark locks. "I can't imagine life without you, either."