Author's Note: Thank you all for your reviews. Feel free to give suggestions for a plotline to poke fun at. Thanks for your observations, Smile-I'mTheEndOfAllThatYouSee, I will fix the cliche that I accidentally made in the last chapter and apply it into another one. This one is going to be short, just warning you.
The Team had gathered around in the Cave, looking anxiously at the small collection of blankets sitting on top of the couch. Conner blinked, trying to register the image right in front of him. No matter how many times he replayed the past two hours back, he couldn't understand how this had happened.
The G-Gnomes never mentioned anything about humans going from adults to infants in their teachings. At all.
"What are we going to tell Batman?" Rocket asked. Conner had to agree with her. There was no way He was going to be pleased with this. He looked over to the far corner of the room, where Zatanna was ramming her head into the wall repeatedly. M'gann was currently trying to get the girl to cease those actions, but then Zatanna muttered something under her breath and fire started snaking towards-
"M'gann!"
He ignored the shushes that the others gave him and leaped in between the growing flame and his girlfriend. Conner tried stomping the fire out with his feet, but it was like those cockroaches that managed to sneak past the Cave's security. He glared at Zatanna, who blushed and muttered something else under her breath. Whatever the word was backwards, it did what Conner couldn't do and snuffed out the flames.
"I'm sorry." Zatanna whispered. She didn't dare look at his face when she spoke. "There's just...so much I'm trying to wrap my head around. I need some space."
"I was worried." M'gann protested.
Zatanna looked up. "Yes, at first. But then it became more like 'pestering' than 'worried.' Just...leave me alone!"
Conner felt M'gann move past him. He wanted to give her comfort, but M'gann looked like she didn't need the pity. Zatanna, on the other hand...
"Come on." M'gann's face bore a smile. "We all make mistakes. It's not everyday you somehow turn a teammate into an infant."
Conner felt the urge to slap himself on the head.
"M'gann?" She turned to face him. "You're not helping."
M'gann's green face blushed a bright red. "Oh."
Zatanna pulled at her hair. "I don't even know how it happened! Dad never said anything about aging spells!"
"Well, look at the bright side." M'gann said. "We can babysit Robin! I've been watching these TV shows on Earth that show teenagers caring for infants. I always wanted to feed a baby and change their diaper."
Conner felt that Robin wouldn't like that last bit. Come to think of it, wasn't he technically a baby? Even the G-Gnomes made it clear that humans don't grow that quickly in 16 weeks. He tried to ignore the dreamy look on M'gann's face, probably from fantasizing about childcare. He shook his head in pity. If only she knew what the G-Gnomes mentioned about teenage pregnancies...
"WE DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS FOR LONG!" Conner's ears perked up at Artemis' shout. "JUST CHANGE HIM BACK TO NORMAL!"
"WOULD YOU ALL SHUT UP? YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE ROBIN!" Wally's voice echoed louder in the Cave.
And then Conner had to cover his ears when the next noise occurred. Even then, he could still make out Wally and Artemis arguing over who woke up Robin while the person in question continued to scream his lungs out.
M'gann flew over and started cooing over Robin, trying to rock him back and forth. Zatanna stayed where she was, petrified. Aqualad was still nowhere to be found while Rocket moved as far as she could from the noise.
Krytonian hearing sucked!
Above the dim, Conner could make out the voice announcer recognizing Batman - aw, fuck! - and Doctor Fate. And then he heard Aqualad's voice piping in.
"Zatanna still does not know how this occurred. She said no words backwards, but-"
"That's enough, Aqualad." Batman sounded calm. Who knew how long it would be before he showed how pissed off he was at anyone in his radius?
Batman walked over to Robin, who looked like he was about to collapse with exhaustion from all the crying he was doing. M'gann looked like she was about to have a breakdown as she passed the infant over to the taller man. Conner felt that this last bit wasn't a good idea and was proven right when Robin opened his eyes and started screaming again.
Come to think of it, when did Batman ever act physically affectionate? He knew Batman cared about Robin, but this was different. Babies needed physical comfort.
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" M'gann screamed, clearing not seeing the looks of shock from everyone else in the room. "I THOUGHT BATMAN WOULD BE ABLE TO CALM HIM DOWN!"
Batman glared at her. "Babies cry no matter who's caring for them. Robin doesn't recognize me or the rest of the Team. It's impossible for him right now. His mind isn't that developed."
And he immediately gave Robin to Doctor Fate, who started glowing yellow and then-
Doctor Fate gently put him down. Robin had to cover his body with the blankets used to keep him warm. One hand held up the blankets while the other covered his face. Wally was insistent that no one see Robin's face bare and put a pillow with two holes in it over the former baby's face.
"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" He screamed.
Artemis blinked. Wally blinked. Rocket was hunched over, her face growing more red as she laughed at the sudden change. M'gann's eyes widened. Zatanna sighed with relief. Aqualad smiled.
And Conner desperately needed a drink.
Batman took off his cape and wrapped it around Robin. "Aqualad put your clothes in his room. Go collect them and get changed."
"Don't need to tell me twice!" Robin glared at Rocket, who began laughing louder at the spectacle.
"Guess the Boy Wonder didn't like being the Baby Wonder."
"Baby?!" Robin ran out of the room, his face turning redder than M'gann's face now.
Having recovered from the initial shock, Wally and Artemis joined Rocket in the laughter.
"Oh, I really need a souvenir for this moment!"
"And I need a camera for blackmail!"
"Thank you, Fate." Batman said.
"Of course." Doctor Fate said. He turned to face Zatanna. "Why didn't you attempt to change him back to normal, young lady?"
Zatanna blinked when she heard Zatarra's voice coming through. "I-I didn't know what to do. I d-didn't think I was capable of turning him back without expending too much energy or hurting him by accident."
Doctor Fate nodded. "Of course. The initial transformation would have taken its toll. Zatarra and I agree that we should continue your training in case this happens again."
Zatanna's eyes grew glassy. "Really?"
"My apologies for the circumstances that lead to your father's...induction." Doctor Fate sounded remorseful. "The world needs Fate and Fate needs a vessel. But you can still communicate with your father if you wish."
Batman looked like he had a half-smirk on his face if Conner was seeing things properly. Robin appeared again, dressed in his uniform this time. Batman cleared his throat to get the Team's attention. It took a glare to get the trio of Wally, Rocket, and Artemis to stop laughing.
"If this happens again, contact Doctor Fate."
Wally raised his hand. "But what if a gas from Scarecrow makes this happen?"
Conner looked at him, his eyebrow raised. Was he being hypothetical or just plain stupid?
"Scarecrow uses fear gas, not de-aging gas." Batman's semi-blank expression almost echoed Conner's thoughts just now about Wally. "He would never try doing something that out of character. But on the off-chance, and I mean impossible chance, that that does happen...call Doctor Fate."
"Klarion?"
"Doctor Fate."
"Poison Ivy?"
"Doctor Fate, and also unlikely."
"Another sorcerer?"
"Doctor Fate."
"Doctor Fate?"
"Doctor Fate or Zatanna, once she learns how to reverse the spell herself."
Wally opened his mouth again but Batman spoke again.
"Whatever makes anyone turn into a kid or infant again, call Doctor Fate. He'll handle it."
Wally looked exasperated. "But some of these scenarios involve science! How could an illusionist-"
"Remember the Wonder Woman outfit, Wally!" Zatanna said in a warning tone. Wally instantly shut up.
"The Wonder Woman outfit?" Rocket asked. Artemis took her aside and began whispering in her ear. Conner couldn't understand the point, everyone knew about it now...well, except for Rocket. Soon enough, Rocket began cracking up again.
"I miss the best stuff!"
"Which is a good thing." Artemis said. She shuddered. "At least you didn't get in trouble."
"We tried to contact you for assistance, but there was no time." Aqualad added.
Right before Batman walked out with Robin, the cape now returned to Batman, M'gann flew up in front of them.
"That was it?!" M'gann looked frustrated. "No babysitting? No cuddles? No more Baby Robin?"
She flinched the next moment, Batman must have been glaring at her.
"Do you really expect me to leave my partner in the care of several metahuman teenagers with anger issues/daddy issues/hunger issues/water issues/magic issues/etc. and not think of getting an expert in as soon as possible?"
M'gann had no answer.
"I didn't think so." And with that, Batman and Robin vanished into the Zeta Tube.
Author's Notes: *Maniacal laughter as lightning strikes flash in the background* Now I've poked at the de-aging cliche with more laughs than the last chapter. Most de-aging stories I've come across never really end. The authors either stop writing them or move on to other projects that I have no clue about. Batman would definitely not let Robin be cared for by the Team in his condition. Easier to just get Doctor Fate or Zatarra if he never put the Helmet of Fate on.
To anyone who is wondering: Yep, this chapter was connected to the Humorverse. I'm definitely going to be dealing with the aftermath of We Love Our Two Dads in this as well. That's right! I'm going to deconstruct and bash one of my own stories. :) Particularly Conner's characterization as well. Hope he sounded more mature and in-character in this chapter. Well, he didn't get mad so easily, but this takes place after Season 1 ends, so he's probably handled his emotions a lot better now.
Thanks for reading. And please feel free to suggest any other YJ fandom cliches that don't involve Robin or Kid Flash. TV Tropes only tells of them and a degeneration plot for Conner.