I Don't Think You Know Who You're Talking To:

"Alright," Laxus said as he, Erza, Natsu, Gray, and Mirajane stood outside Phoenix Grave's guild hall. It was medium sized, about half the size of Fairy Tail's which was in constant competition with Sabertooth's for the biggest Guild Hall in Fiore.

"To cover our butts we're gonna try the diplomatic route first. They ain't gonna go for it, but still, you guys hand tight and don't do anything until I give you a sign, got it?"

"Understood."

"Got it."

"Sure thing, hon."

Laxus turned and narrowed his eyes at Natsu. "Got it?"

"Why is it everytime we go on one of these things I'm the one that gets weird looks," Natsu whined.

"'Cuz you're always the one to make a mess of things, that's why smoke breath," Gray replied.

"You tryin' to-"

"Not now," Erza whacked both of them on the back of the head.

"And this is why we bring her along," Laxus muttered as he threw the doors to the guild hall open.

There was a bar, a couple pool tables, a poker table, a shuffleboard table, some slot machines, and other games. Several lounge chairs and food tables lined the walls, and several girls dressed in skimpy outfits running about serving several men as they played their games, seeming more than a little tipsy.

Laxus recalled all the sexual harassment charges Mace had been accused of and suddenly got the horrid feeling he hadn't been the only perpetrator. Laxus snatched Mirajae's hand into his as all eyes fell on the newly arrived Fairy Tail members.

"Afternoon," Laxus said in as friendly a voice as he could muster, leading his small group deeper inside. "I'd like to have a word with your Master."

No one said a word, but all the heads and eyes slowly turned to a circle of lounge chairs in the back corner of the Guild Hall. Picking up on this Laxus made his way towards it, still holding Mirajane's hand. Out of the corner of his eyes he caught on of the men at the poker table hungrily looking her over as he licked his lips. Laxus pulled her closer, setting his arm around her shoulders as he shot a glare the man's way. The man took the cue and looked back at his cards.

Trailing just behind them Natsu and Gray began shifting their positions in the lineup so that Erza was in between them, each glancing to either side, almost hoping they'd catch someone in a lewd act so they'd have an excuse to pommel him.

The small group finally made their way to the circle on lounge chairs. Sprawled out across one was Meyers Orlando, a large wine glass in his hand, on skimpily dressed woman on either side of him wearing fake smiles as they tended to him. Seated on a large cushion was Mace, also enjoying a large glass of wine, his arm wrapped around another woman's shoulders. In a chair next to Meyers was a third man who favored the first two. Laxus assumed he was the third Orlando brother.

"Orlando," Laxus said in a firm voice. All eyes turned towards him.

Mace glowered at Laxus, clenching his fists as Meyers scoffed.

"You got a lot of nerve showing up here, Fairy Boy. Whatta you want?"

"To negotiate," Laxus said.

"Oh, that so," Meyers sat up and waved his two girls to go away. The girl Mace had been hanging with also left, all three of them looking very nervous about the whole situation. Laxus finally let go of Mirajane's hand so he could sit across from the three brothers. As he did so Natsu stepped up, placing Mirajane next to Erza , in between him and Gray. Laxus tipped his head in thanks to him as he took his seat, his four comrades standing right behind him.

"So, negotiate, hey?" Meyers said, wiping his wine stained mouth on his sleeve as he sniffed. "How about we start with you giving back my brother what's rightfully his."

Laxus reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a stack of envelopes. "There might be an issue with that…" he said as he thumbed the papers. "See, I got me a set of letters here, written by your brother, that are just chock full of threats against four of my guild members, my guild as a whole, me and my family, maybe even a rune knight or two…"

Laxus stored the letters back as Mace's eyes grew wide and jumped to his feet.

"Not looking so good for you boys."

"How'd you get those?" Mace asked.

"So you admit you wrote them," Laxus smiled smugly as he set his hands behind his head.

"Those were private letters sent between me and my wife!"

"EX-wife," Laxus corrected. "And seeing as I now have them they clearly aren't private anymore."

"And how exactly did you even know about them?" the third brother asked.

"Because nothing happens to a member of Fairy Tail without me hearing about it," Laxus answered in a firm, authoritative voice that gave the three brothers pause.

"Now," Laxus leaned forward, placing his hands together in a diplomatic fashion. "Clearly if the magic council finds out about these letters it's not going to end well for you boys. For one Mace here will lose his job privileges. Then they'll start to question how he was able to get these letters to Reina in the first place. Obviously the first place they'll look is the guild he was working through, and when they find out he has two brothers in this guild, one of whom has already had a bad run-in with Fairy Tail."

Laxus sucked in a deep breath and clicked his tongue. "Tsk. Tsk. They're not going to be happy. If there's one thing I've learned with the magic council it's that once they find you in their crosshairs it's impossible to get out of them. They cannot be reasoned with or appeased. I however happen to be a much more, shall we say, gracious audience."

The four wizards standing behind Laxus began to chuckle.

"So long as you stay away from Fairy Tail and everyone in it, including Reina and her children, these letters will remain our little secret," Laxus said as he patted the pocket where the letters were stored. "Cross us one more time, though, and these letters and their contents will only be the first of several consequences you should be concerned about."

"Let me get this straight," Meyers said as he stood to his feet and began to slowly walk towards Laxus. "You come into my house, threaten me and my brothers, and then make demands that we relinquish my brother's property that you stole from him. I think not!"

Meyers leaned into Laxus' face. "How about this: You give Mace back what's his, burn those letters, and then we'll consider leaving you and your little Fairies alone."

Laxus let out a low chuckle as he slowly stood to his feet, a wicked grin on his face that made Meyers take a step back.

"I don't think you realize who you're talking to," Laxus said in a growly voice.

ZAP!

A lighting bolt stuck Meyers right in the chest and sent him flying right into the ceiling. All playing and activity in the guild hall stopped and all eyes turned towards the Master's corner.

Vwoom!

Fwoom!

Two black magic soldiers appeared over Mirajane and Natsu, covering them in a black smoke that soon disappeared to reveal E.N.D. and Salphas. Screams erupted from the bystanding wizards as they scrambled to get out of the hall.

"Requip!" Erza called changing into her purgatory armor.

Fwoosh! Gray threw of his shirt, revealing a series of black marks forming all over his skin. By now there was a stampede of retreating wizards screaming at the top of their lungs.

Gasps, shouts, and screams echoed through the guild hall as E.N.D. rolled back his head and let out an ear piercing roar before spreading his wings and flying up to catch Meyers as he began falling from where Laxus had shot him into the ceiling. He caught Meyers by the neck with one clawed hand and pushed him back up against roof support beams, growling viciously into his face as he closed his claws around the Phoenix Grave Guild Master's neck, choking him and burning him with the fire flickering around E.N.D.'s claws.

"Broth-OOF!" the third brother called before he was smashed in the gut with Erza's mace...which she continued swinging after the hit until she'd all but imbedded him in a wooden pole near the lounge seat he had been occupying. The third brother struggled against the mace pinned him against the pole, but he couldn't move.

"Ice Silver," Gray called, freezing Mace in a case of ice in an instant. Salphas jumped on top of it, grabbing Mace by the face and growling as she traced a line along his neck with her claws, slicing just enough to draw a trickle of blood, creating a red line just above his adam's apple. She then held the bloody claw up for Mace to see.

"That's for Reina," she hissed, a drop of blood dripping from her claw and onto Mace's face.

Laxus swallowed as he felt his body temperature rising at the sight of his wife casually threatening a convicted abuser with his life by dripping his own blood on his face. Such a thing shouldn't have turned him on, but, it did. He shook his head to rid himself of the blush he felt creeping on his face.

"E.N.D." he called as he quickly looked away from his wife and up at the ceiling.

The demon in question turned and looked down at Laxus, an eyebrow arched in a questioning style.

"Drop him."

E.N.D. did so, first holding the guild master in question out at arm's length and then letting Meyers topple straight to the ground before flying down and perching itself atop a nearby chair, growling down at the now very bruised and slightly broken man. Laxus walked over to Meyers and stuck his foot into his chest. "And that's just a small fraction of what we can do. So listen and listen good. You will never threaten or harm anyone in Fairy Tail, understood? If you so much as say an ill word to any of my people again I won't just turn those letters over, but I'll really turn my guys lose on you, then handle you myself, then let the Rune Knights take in whatever's left of you to jail."

Laxus stepped over Meyers as he headed towards the door. "Always a pleasure doing business with you." He waved.

The rest of the Fairy Tail members changed back to normal and followed after him. All of the Phoenix Grave members watched them go, completely dumbstruck and very, VERY terrified.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Ergh…" Laxus grumbled as he looked through the stack of complaint reports and paperwork the magic council had sent him that night. "Man, they are getting better at this paperwork stuff. Ugh!"

Laxus tossed the papers onto the dining room table at his house and plopped into a chair. He was hoping that maybe the magic council would cut him a break this time, but nope! They just sent him the stack faster than usual. He heaved a heavy sigh as he picked up a pen and began going through it. This was the absolute last thing he needed! He had two beauty pageants, a parade, and a festival to plan, in addition to all his other regular responsibilities as Guild Master. As he began scribbling out his side of the story in the first of about ten sections where he'd have to do the exact same thing her felt a set of gentle arms around his neck.

"Hey, love," he smiled as he set on hand on Mirajane's arms.

"Hey," she whispered before pecking his cheek with a kiss. "I'm proud of you."

"For what?" he asked.

"Well, several things, but right now specifically for what you did at Phoenix Grave today."

"Heh," Laxus smirked. "Y'all did most of the work."

"But you led the charge," Mirajane replied. "The minute you heard Reina was getting threatened you jumped to put an end to it."

Laxus shrugged. "Just doing my job."

"And doing it well," Mirajane said as she pecked his cheek again.

"Thanks," Laxus said, flipping the page and stifling a yawn.

"Hon," Mirajane reached over and set her hand on top of the papers, pushing them aside. "Put this away and go to bed."

"The longer I wait to get this done the crankier those stuffed shirts are gonna-"

"You've been going nonstop since you woke up this morning."

"Well, yeah, it's Harvest Festival time."

"I know, which is why you need to relax a little bit so you can relax," Mirajane said as she began massaging his shoulders. Laxus closed his eyes, sighing and letting his head rollback slightly.

"I'd love to, but I've gotta get this done before-"

"No, you don't," Mirajane replied as she set her hand under his chin and made him look at her. "You need to rest. The Magic Council can wait."

"You know they don't wai-"

"If they give you trouble I'll handle them."

"I appreciate, babe," Laxus smiled as he turned back to the papers. "But I should still get a head start on-"

"Laxus..."

"I've got a list of things to do tomorrow that's sky high! I'm not going to have time to do any of this tomorrow-"

"Stop worrying so much!" Mirajane sighed as she rubbed his back.

"I'd love to but that's not really an opti-"

"Laxus Dreyar either you stop worrying and relax or I'll make you," Mirajane ordered.

Laxus arched an eyebrow and turned towards her. "How are you going to do that?"

Mirajane's eyes narrowed as she grabbed the back of Laxus chair and whirled around to face her. Laxus' eyes widened slightly, he sometimes forgot how strong his wife was. He barely had time to recover from the shock before Mirajane sat down in his lap, straddling him. She set her hands behind his head, fingers burying themselves in his hair as she drew his face towards hers. He gulped as she leaned her forehead against his, piercing through him with those gorgeous blue orbs staring directly into his gray ones, her breath tickling his nose.

"I don't think you know who you're talking to," she whispered.

Laxus couldn't even let out a gasp before Mirajane pressed her lips against his. Laxus dropped the pen he had been clasping in his hand as he gripped her hips, moaning as her lips moved hypnotically against his. She tilted her head to one side, deepening the kiss as she scraped her nails across his scalp, smiling at the moans he made. Her evil plan was working. She pulled her lips away from his and began kissing his neck as one of her hands snuck it's way out of his hair to scratch his back.

Laxus hissed, then wrapped his arms around her waist and stood up. Mirajane gasped as her husband lifted her up, took a few quick steps forward, and pinned her against the kitchen wall. Now he was the one kissing her neck. Mirajane smirked as she arched her neck, allowing him access. She most certainly knew how to take his mind off things and make him relax.

"WAH! WAH! WAH!" July began crying from his nursery down the hall.

Mirajane and Laxus both groaned. Laxus took a step back and set her down.

"I guess I better go take care of him," she sighed as she began to walk off."He's probably hungry."

"Sure thing," Laxus nodded, smiling after her. "Then we'll continue this."

Mirajane smiled back as she looked at him over her shoulder. "Of course."

Laxus chuckled as she turned down the hallway, then looked back at the paperwork. Eh, he could worry about that later.