A/N Considering my own state of mind and personal issues I have to deal with at the moment I've decided to write a chapter for a story that feels alright at the moment I start writing a new chapter. So there will be stories that are updated more and sooner than other stories are going to be. So far the bad news.

The good news is that I passed my exam for Tax Law.

Not that I want to do anything with it but it's a part of the study I'm doing so I had to take it whether I liked it or not. What I want to do is become a prosecutor just like our Alex.

Alright enough talking from my side. I'm sure y'all are more interested in reading the next chapter.

Chapter 3

"I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty... you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are." - J.D. Salinger

When Alex came back to Olivia's room she saw something had changed in the Detective's eyes. She didn't look so shocked anymore but it seems like that something else came in place of it, confusion. Alex hoped that now that Olivia didn't seem to be so shocked anymore that the Detective wouldn't push her away, something that is a normal reaction for Olivia. When people came too close or if she wanted them not to see something she pushed them away. The same when she felt vulnerable or exposed and thought that people might think she is weak.

"It looks like something is bothering you. Do you want to talk about it or not?" Alex asked after she closed the door behind her.

"Not really, I mean I want to tell you what's confusing me, but I don't want to talk about it yet if that's alright. I'm still trying to get my thoughts around what happened and how it is possible that it happened in the first place," Olivia answered as she turned her head to look at Alex.

"Of course it's alright. Just know that I'm here for you when you are ready to talk," Alex said.

Alex took a seat in the chair again and waited till Olivia was ready to tell her what's on her mind.

"I know that and it means a lot to me that you are here for me. I can't promise that I won't try to and maybe push you away at times but I do promise that I will try not to do it," Olivia said.

"That's all I could ask for. Now, do you want to tell me it?" Alex asked.

"Yes, I do. While you were outside something came up in my mind. You do remember the Cheryl Avery case, right? Not that I think that we both could ever forget it," Olivia asked softly.

"Yes, I do. Why?" Alex asked.

"Back then you asked me why you felt so lousy about doing your job. I answered ' Because you look at Cheryl and you can't imagine what it's like to feel that your own body is a mistake.' and with everything that's going on that came into my mind," Olivia answered.

Alex frowned and looked confused at Olivia.

"I'm sorry, I can't follow you. You have me a little confused here. What has that to do with you right now? What do you mean with that?" Alex asks softly.

"Yeah well, that makes two of us. Because it confuses me that is what came to my mind. I don't know what it means or what I mean with it. Nor do I know what it has to do with me. All I know is that it confuses me that it's that particular part I thought of. And that's all I want to say about it, for now, it is at least. I have other things that I need to think about right now," Olivia answered softly.

"I can see why it confuses you. And we stop talking about it now. Whenever you want to talk about it again you know where or how to find me. And you are right that you have to think about other things right now. I hope you're not mad at me but I called Liz and asked her to call Cragen and then come here with the both of them. I know that you have enough on your mind and that you have other things to think about or worry about so I understand it if you want to leave it over to me, but I meant what I said to those two morons, I'm going to sue them and everyone involved. Unless you don't want to do that or don't want me to that of course," Alex said as she was holding her breath after she was done speaking.

Olivia got a small smile on her lips and Alex released her breath. Thinking that the Detective wasn't mad at her for calling Liz and Cragen.

"Relax Cabot, I'm not mad at you. This is why I wanted you to be with me when they would tell me what was wrong. You're the best prosecutor this country has, of course, I want you to prosecute this. And if you won't do it, for my own selfish reasons, then maybe Liz can do it. She's the only one who wants to take them down as badly as you want it," Olivia said.

"I don't think that's possible. Wanting to take them down at the same level as I want that and you want it. But you're right after me she's the right person to do it. But why wouldn't you want me to do it?" Alex asked.

Not doubting that Olivia would think she couldn't do it after all the Detective just said that she is the best prosecutor in the country in her eyes.

"Like I said, there my own selfish reasons, but I think I'm gonna need you to get through this. I know I won't talk about what happened with anyone else let alone talk about how I feel or how this makes me feel. And if you're gonna prosecute this, you will be busy with that and won't have time to be there for me in other ways. It's selfish and egotistical, I know because you will be there for me professionally in the best way possible," Olivia answered shyly.

"Liv, it's not selfish to want me to be there for you personally. And if that's what you need or want me to be I would be happy to do that and leave the case for Liz to prosecute. Yes, I want to put the bastards in jail but it's way more important to me to be there for you the way you need me to be. So do you want Liz to prosecute it so I can be there for you at all times? And be honest, tell me what you need," Alex asked warmly.

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry Lex, I know how much you want to do it. But I really need you at my side, now more than ever before," Olivia whispered.

Alex took Olivia's hand in her own.

"Liv, you have nothing to be sorry for. I want to be at your side and to be there for you more than I want to prosecute. In fact, I'm proud of you that you tell me what you need the most. I know that's not easy for you. You're going through a hell right now and there is nothing I want more than to be at your side so Liz is going to do it. You are very much more important to me than prosecuting any case can be even if it's your case. So now that is out of the way, you are or I am going to push the call button because there should have been a nurse coming checking you, minutes ago," Alex answered.

"Hey, you don't need to get bossy Counselor, just because I let you stick with me doesn't mean you can go bossing me around you now," Olivia winked, trying to lighten things up a bit.

The Detective knew it was gonna be hard enough when Liz and Cragen were coming here or when there actually was a nurse coming to check her and she wanted to try to relax a bit at least. Try to forget the hell she was in even if it's only for a moment.

"Yeah well, I need to be bossy at someone now that I can't bossy around everyone that's going to be busy with your case. And since you want me at your side you better get prepared to be bossed around because the only other person or persons I can do that with are the nurses and Dr that are daring to show up here or take care of you medically. It's on my CV right under scaring and beating creepy defense lawyers," Alex answered with a sly smile, while she pushed the button.