"Yes, my little milk monster?" Ana glanced down at the girl strapped to her front in the baby carrier. Fareeha flashed a wide toothless smile, letting out a coo as her legs kicked by Ana's sides. "Oh, I know you wanna walk. But you might want to do the crawlies first," Ana cooed back at her, tweaking her nose gently.
Fareeha giggled, clutching onto the carrier's shoulder straps. Her attention wandered off as they strolled through the supermarket, round eyes whipping around to whichever colourful or loud object caught her interest.
"Maybe we should get her a front-facing carrier," Ana said to her wife, who strolled beside her with phone in hand, scanning through their grocery list.
"But she can't see us that way," Kamilah replied absently, no doubt already planning their circuit through the market. "Besides, this is a more comforting position for the baby."
"I guess." Ana slowed down and grabbed a packet of oatmeal, tossing it into the cart.
"Mm. I'll get our shampoo and stuff. Want anything?"
"Oh. Yeah, get me the…uh. Some–, er." As the name eluded her, Ana pressed her fingertips together as if she were holding the product. "Um, blood sticks. For periods."
"Tampons," Kamilah supplied with an incredulous look on her face.
"Tampons! Yes, tampons. How did I forget that, what the heck."
"Obviously your brain box is a little empty today." An amused smirk curved Kamilah's lips. "Now, be a dear and get us some peanut cream, a bread stack, and cow juice."
"I hate you," Ana deadpanned, receiving a pinch on her chin before Kamilah strode farther down the aisle. "There mama goes. Nyoom!" Ana lifted Fareeha's hand to accompany the sound effect, grinning when Kamilah looked back at her with a cocked eyebrow.
Fareeha kept quiet, her gaze staying on Ana for a second before straying away again. She was kept endlessly occupied, kicking her legs and burbling whenever she got excited, as Ana picked up a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. She kept her trip by the dairy section short, swooping in quickly for the milk carton so Fareeha wouldn't be exposed to the cold for too long. A sharp ache blossomed in Ana's back as she bent down though, and she sucked in a breath, walking away with a hand on her hip.
She stopped by an aisle to wait for the pain to subside. Ana had been running simulations with her company while they were not on patrol duty, practicing omnic scenarios over and over again. Her soldiers were tight for the most part, but were prone to mistakes. In the last simulation, the squad of greenhorns – who enlisted after the insurgency – had left her six wide open, giving the holo-omnics a clear shot at Ana. She had been so angry that she gave them a thorough dressing down first, before reporting to the medics with a large patch of red on the back of her uniform.
They were lucky that Kamilah was in the academy, and not in the hospital then.
Ana gathered herself, then straightened her back. She gave Fareeha a reassuring smile, and the girl yawned lazily in blissful ignorance. Placing a kiss on top of Fareeha's head, Ana strolled on, picking up random items that she thought they needed. The shelves looked emptier than she remembered it, not to mention the supermarket itself. There was still the occasional loud chattering, but the atmosphere was mostly quiet, save for footsteps and the metal clanging of carts. The gloom only made her all the happier for the little bundle of happiness resting against her chest, who grew excited when Ana entered the toy aisle and took a baby neck pillow from the display.
Fareeha grabbed at the pillow Ana held in front of her, gurgling her approval at the cushion which bore a bright sprinkle of colours over its surface.
"Do you like it?" Ana chuckled. "It'll be something nice for you to sit with."
"Does she really need it?"
Ana watched Kamilah drop her haul into the cart. "It's nice."
"It's unnecessary. Come on," she added when Ana pouted. "We already got her that bean bag chair last week."
"More is always better than less."
"We're running out of space, Ana."
"We're just buying her this one!"
"You know we never buy just the one." Kamilah stared flatly back at her wife, who had pulled out her best puppy eyes. "And you know looking at me like that will never work."
Ten minutes later, Kamilah drove away from the supermarket with her child still holding onto the baby donut pillow. Ana sat beside her daughter in the backseat, with a brand new cushion hugging snugly about her neck.
"You're the most beautiful woman I have ever known, and the most wonderful wife one could ever have. Even though you really drive me up the wall sometimes, I love you with all my heart and soul."
"You stole my script."
Ana raised her brow in a perfect imitation of Kamilah's. "I can't steal something that doesn't exist."
Kamilah chuckled, looking a little bashful. "Caught me."
"Improvise, then."
"I love you. And I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone but you."
"There we go. Simple and sweet," Ana crooned, leaning in share a gentle kiss with her wife. She clinked their glasses together, and took a sip of wine. It was two months late, but it had been difficult to find a free day where the both of them could slow down, and take some time to celebrate their fourth anniversary together. When the breaks in their schedules conincided, they leapt at the chance to spend it together.
"Question, Milah."
"Hm?"
"Have you ever imagined our anniversary to be like this?" Ana nodded at Fareeha, who sat in a highchair by the dining table with them, and was playing with a large plastic spoon. They had opted to have the celebration at home – mostly because they could watch over Fareeha and be with her as much as possible.
"With a baby of our own?" Kamilah tilted her head, gazing fondly at the girl. "Not so fast, no. But it's a pleasant surprise." She ran a hand over Fareeha's hair, getting a few knocks on her wrist from the spoon as the girl waved it around. "What about you?"
Ana shrugged. "Told you before, I've never really thought about it. Then again… I think I expected to have a kid only in my thirties."
"I'm in my thirties."
"Well, there's that–"
"And you're only one year away from 30. There's not much difference anyway."
"…You really want to drive me up the wall, don't you?" Ana tried to press her lips into a thin line, but couldn't stop the smile from breaking through when Kamilah kissed her.
"You like it," Kamilah murmured.
Ana hummed and kept her snappy reply to herself, in favour of bringing their lips together again. Then they heard a sudden squeal of laughter to the side, and Kamilah jerked back with a short gasp when a plastic spoon flew right into her temple. Ana turned to Fareeha, who was laughing to herself, hands still waving about as her spoon clattered to the table.
"Nice throw," Kamilah said, rubbing at her temple.
"Nice aim." Ana stood, rounding the table to lift Fareeha from her highchair. "You got that from me, didn't you?" She nuzzled into the child's stomach, prompting another bout of giggles. Resting Fareeha securely in the crook of her arm, Ana kissed the top of her head. "I might not have expected to have you so soon, little one. But I'm glad you're here."
Ana glanced down at her wife, who watched them with a soft curve on her lips. She bent down to kiss her wife's head as well. "I'm glad you're here too, pretty one."
"Thanks, funny one."
Between their busy schedules and coping with changes as little Fareeha grew, time seemed to fly since their anniversary celebration. Before long, Ana found herself cheering her daughter on, as Fareeha pulled herself along the play rug in the beginnings of a steady crawl. In her desire to pick up speed and reach her mother, Fareeha was quick at learning how to use her feet as well, kicking at the floor to propel herself forwards, until she was raised high into the air by Ana as a reward for her efforts.
It was both gratifying and worrying to watch her baby take to crawling so easily, and Ana would often be preoccupied with keeping a close eye over Fareeha, just in case she bumped into something or somehow injured herself. With Fareeha's tendency to grab things that are within reach, they took extra care in keeping anything sharp or hot far away from the child – though it was a relief that Fareeha still seemed the most interested in her toys, and didn't go out of her way to look for new things to play with.
They did give her something new for 'play' though – her spoon. Except this time, her spoon was held by her mothers, because it was filled with soft foods that they fed her with. Noticing that Fareeha had become keenly interested in what her mothers ate for dinner, sometimes even trying to reach for their food, they decided to start weaning the girl onto solid foods. They fed her homemade purees once every few days, varying each meal with different foods to see what suited her tastes best. Fareeha didn't like the warm vegetable mashes, and would often stop eating before finishing her portion. She much preferred the sweeter fruit purees, and grabbed at the spoon enthusiastically after her first mouthful of either banana or apple.
Then came the 'deceit', when they started to add some veggies into her fruit servings so she could get the best of both worlds. They had watched with bated breath as Fareeha chomped on her first bite of apple and carrot puree, then swallowed the food without problem and looked at them expectantly for more. Ana had giggled at the successful trick they played on their daughter, and only became more gleeful when Fareeha began to accept her vegetable mashes without much fuss.
"We're such clever moms," Ana said one night, as she fed Fareeha another spoonful of sweet potatoes.
"We're hardly the first people to–" Kamilah paused when Ana raised her brows, fixing her with a pointed look. "…Yes, we're such clever moms."
"I knew you'd agree, my dear," Ana crooned, giving her a smooch on the cheek.
Ana straightened from the retinal scanner, waiting patiently as the guard matched the scan to her records. He nodded curtly, and she marched away from his booth at the gates, towards the main intelligence facility. Security was always tight here, and Ana never enjoyed the meetings in this compound even back during the insurgency, but Jaida had requested her presence here today. The major hadn't divulged any details, but she had a pretty good idea what was going on.
As she reached the building's entrance, a smile parted her lips when Mesi finally spotted Ana's approach, coming forward to embrace her firmly. Mesi had been called back from the field by Jaida to attend the meeting as well, and Ana wasn't surprised – Mesi was Jaida's best captain. It made sense that the major would trust her with…whatever she had in mind.
"You look thinner," Ana said.
"And you look soft. Damn." Mesi held her at arm's length, scanning her from head to toe. "Motherhood's been good on you, huh?"
"So it has," Ana played along, slapping her on the back.
Mesi relented with a laugh, and they strode through the dark-tinted glass doors together. "How's the family?"
"They're good. Kamilah's been busy as usual. Fareeha's…well, being a baby." She shrugged as they entered the lift lobby, and pressed the call button.
"What else can she be?" Mesi replied. "How old is she, anyway? I lost track with…everything going on."
"Six months now," Ana sighed dreamily. "She's growing so fast."
"Don't all babies grow fast?" Mesi shot her a wry smile as they entered the lift together.
"If that's so, you should drop by soon. You know, before she goes on to college." She chuckled when Mesi punched her in the arm. "How have you been?"
Mesi's smile grew a fraction tighter, though her eyes remained soft. "I'm still alive, so I guess that counts as 'good'."
"It is good." Ana clasped her on the shoulder as they strode out into the 14th floor, and made a left towards the designated briefing room.
They shared a glance when they stopped before the door, then knocked and entered. This was one of the 'war rooms', Ana realised when she stepped in, eyeing the large square table in the centre and the chairs surrounding it in a neat box. The table had a holoprojector installed in it, and could project an interactive 3D image for the gathered soldiers to see. Currently though, there were not so many people as Ana had expected.
Only Jaida stood at the head of the table, accompanied by a general and a colonel. She waved away their salutes and gestured for them to move closer.
"So they are your 'trusted captains', hm?" The general looked them over with an appraising eye.
"Yes, why else would they be here?" Jaida replied drily. "This is Captain Mesi Zoheir, Captain Ana Amari." Then she pointed at her companions. "General Fakhir Mahmoud, Colonel Karim Abbas. They are the ones who'll be pushing our proposal to the brass."
The captains nodded in acknowledgement.
"What is our purpose here, ma'am?" Ana asked.
"You didn't even tell them," Mahmoud said, sounding unsurprised while the colonel remained as silent as ever.
Jaida ignored his statement and waved a hand over the table. Its holoprojector came to life – an azure blue map of Egypt hovered above the table at waist level, so they could look over its entirety with ease.
"We are here to take our home back from the omnics. You remember our last discussion, Amari?"
"Yes, ma'am."
The major swiped a hand down the middle section of the map, which disappeared. "To do so, we will begin to push them down from the north." She tapped on the map portion hovering to her left, highlighting Alexandria in red. "And up from the south." Another tap on the second map piece, and Aswan turned red as well.
"Sounds simple enough," Mesi mused, tongue-in-cheek.
"The devil's in the details, Captain," Mahmoud said with a small smirk, picking up on her tone. "Our forces are stretched thin, and the brass will give us the soldiers we need only if they believe in our plan. Something tells me they won't agree just because we said, 'We should push them from the north and south.'"
"We need to give them details and confidence. That's why we will start from Alexandria." Jaida tapped on the city again. "We'll focus here, where our defenses are wearing thinnest. We have to drive the omnics back, gain some ground, and get their attention. That's where the two of you come in," Jaida added, looking up at Mesi and Ana. "You will be my people – one of those to bolster Alexandria's forces."
"Yes, ma'am. But what about after?" Mesi asked.
"Assuming we don't fuck up at Alexandria, we will push forward until the omnics are forced to turn their attention to the north. Then, when their forces in Aswan thin out…" Jaida waved a hand upwards, bringing Cairo back to the table. She traced a red line from the capital towards Aswan. "We will send reinforcements to hit them while they're distracted."
"That's assuming they can be distracted," Ana broke in. "Ma'am, the omnics are capable of replenishing their ranks much faster than us humans. They might not have to divert much of their forces to bolster broken lines – if they can repair and rebuild themselves fast enough."
An approving smirk appeared on Jaida's face. "And that is where the 'details' come in, Amari." She waved away the projections of Cairo and Aswan, and pulled Alexandria to the middle. Sweeping both her hands outwards, she magnified the city map so they could see each individual street crisscrossing one another, clusters of static blue markers where their soldiers stood guard, and red markers of the omnics' positions. There were large, box-like red constructs nestled between buildings, each of them about one storey high. Ana peered at them curiously, noting the density of red markers near the constructs.
"So," Jaida said, leaning forward with both hands on the table, wearing a wicked grin on her lips. "Shall we get started?"
Much of her time in the next three weeks was spent at the intelligence facility, piecing together bits and pieces of Jaida's plan. It was risky – deploying a substantial number of troops from the Heliopolis base might leave it vulnerable to attack, should the omnics decide to break their stalemate at the borders and charge towards Cairo. They were playing a huge gamble on the Alexandria offensive, but as they had determined – staying entrenched in their current positions would do more harm in the long run. Ana often had to grit her teeth and look away from the holographic representation of Cairo, focusing instead on their task at hand.
When they were done, it was up to Mahmoud and Abbas to fight tooth and nail for its approval. The wait stretched from days into weeks, during which Mesi dropped by for a visit and got to carry Fareeha for herself, before continuing her wait on the frontlines. Ana spent most of her off duty hours with her family, cherishing the time she could spend at home with Fareeha and Kamilah before she was deployed. If she was deployed.
The burning question was finally answered more than a month later, when Ana received word from Jaida herself, long before the official orders came through. Ana's company was assigned to the Guard brigade being deployed to Alexandria, alongside the regular soldiers Jaida had requested.
"In a week?"
Ana's heart clenched at Kamilah's hushed tone. She hadn't told Kamilah about the plan, choosing to let her wife remain blissfully unaware until she had to break the news. Looking at Kamilah now, she knew it was the right decision – better to let Kamilah worry for a shorter time, than spend the past month fretting like Ana.
"In a week," Ana said softly.
Kamilah's face remained stoic, eyes lowering in thought before she looked back up at Ana with a weak smile. "About time, isn't it?"
Ana mirrored her smile, circling both arms around Kamilah and pulling her close. "So eager for me to leave?"
"You know I don't want you to leave," Kamilah sighed. "But it's always been a matter of time…"
"Are you upset?"
"Upset? No, not really." She fidgeted with the fabric of Ana's t-shirt. "Just…worried."
"I'll come back safe, albi," Ana promised, cupping her cheek. "And hopefully sooner than later."
A small smile returned to Kamilah's lips as she leaned into Ana's touch. "Just come back to me in one piece, Ana. I don't care how long you take. Just make sure you come back to me."
"Why do you always set such low expectations of me?"
"So you'll never disappoint me." Kamilah bit her lip, letting out a giggle when Ana gave her a reproving pinch on the butt. She leaned in to catch Ana in a kiss, deep and slow. "Promise you'll meet my low expectations?" Kamilah murmured when they parted.
Ana laughed under her breath. "You're horrible," she whispered, stealing another kiss from her wife. "But I promise."
Leaving her family behind was perhaps the single, most difficult thing she had ever done. Ana woke up early in the morning so she could sit beside Fareeha's crib for a while, running her fingertips through the short tuft of hair as she etched the girl's image into memory. Then she wrapped Kamilah in a tight embrace, murmuring reassurances into her wife's ear and peppering her with gentle kisses, before leaving home with a heavy heart.
There was a distinct air of gloom hanging over her company as they sat silently in the transport trucks, all wearing that resolute set in their jaw, but with a distinct heaviness in their eyes. It was understandable – they had been pulled from a relatively safe post in base, and transferred to one of the hottest combat zones in Egypt. But it had to be done, and any doubt that their support was needed evaporated the instant they drove past Alexandria's borders.
Much of the city's infrastructure had been reduced to large piles of rubble. At a preliminary glance, Ana estimated that nearly half of the city was gone. The silence in the truck turned profound as they drove through the destruction and reached the first barricade, driving past bodies laid on the ground in neat rows, covered in tarp. A few soldiers in the truck bowed their heads, uttering prayers for the dead.
Alexandria's base was much more hectic than its Cairo counterpart. There was constant traffic everywhere they went – soldiers rushing around to tend to minor emergencies at their posts, transport trucks shuttling soldiers in and out of base, numerous aircrafts whirring overheard. The Cairo reinforcements were quick to add to the traffic, first reporting to their briefing station, then dispersing to their respective posts. Ana and Mesi were held back in the war room with Jaida much longer than the other soldiers, reviewing new information supplied by their scouts, before they were dismissed as well.
As the day went on, Ana managed to meet with the old squad briefly – including Khalid, who was part of the Guard brigade deployed to Alexandria. It was good to see them still kicking, and more importantly, with an easy smile on their faces – be it from bravado or not. Ebo and Adofo lifted Ana off her feet in crushing hugs, before the squad closed in and started pelting her with 'Mama Amari' jokes. After rapping her knuckles on each of their heads, she made a promise to check on them later, then went back to her duties.
When night fell and she was finally able to shed her uniform for the night, her father came by the barracks to fetch her for a quiet night out together. Zaid drove out of base, in the opposite direction from the combat zone, towards Stanley Beach. It was there they stayed, sitting in plastic chairs someone had left out, sipping their own cups of fruit juice bought from a roadside stall. The beach was empty, save for a handful of people strolling across the sand, or sitting some distance away from the waters.
It was just as well – Ana could appreciate having some quiet time with her father, who was currently looking at her phone and snickering at the video of Fareeha giggling and kicking happily away as Ana played with her. The girl wriggled in place as Ana tickled her, then her feet flew straight up, kicking the phone from Ana's hand. Her panicked gasp could be heard as the phone landed on Fareeha's arm, and the girl whined from the sudden impact. Ana's hurried singing and coos followed right after, and she managed to soothe Fareeha before the girl broke into cries.
"Oh thank god," Ana breathed. "Your mama would've killed me otherwise."
"She's adorable," Zaid chuckled when the video ended.
"Yeah, just like me."
Zaid raised his brows, returning the phone to her. "Just like you," he ceded with a smile. "And how's Kamilah?"
"She's fine. Probably worried sick right now, though."
"Of course she is. You're going to war."
"I know," Ana sighed. "I really hate leaving them behind. Just makes me want to win this war as soon as possible, so I can go home."
Zaid laughed. "And you'll win this war just like that, hm? Through sheer stubbornness and willpower?"
"Why not?" Ana smiled back at her father. "Anything to get us home quicker."
Zaid continued laughing longer, before he let out a satisfied breath at the end, and gazed at his daughter. "You really are your mother's daughter. Both you, and Safiya." He patted Ana on the head, tousling her hair a little. "If anyone can end this war, it'll be the two of you."
"We're your daughters too, papa."
Her father chuckled to himself, shaking his head. "No, no. I'm not a fighting man, my dear. I'm not like your mother. All I ever really wanted to do was stay home and watch over my kids…and now my grandkid."
Ana cocked her head. "Then why'd you join the army in the first place?"
"So others won't have to," Zaid said simply, taking a sip of his mango juice. "And I like to think it's fate that brought me there to meet your mother."
"How romantic."
Zaid shrugged. "However it was, it made me happy. So I stayed. Something you quite understand, don't you?"
"Oh yes, I do." Ana leaned back in her chair, gazing up at the night sky. She felt another pang at the thought of her family, and heaved a long sigh. "I miss them so much already."
"Now, now. Chin up. You'll be back with them soon enough." Zaid patted her on the back comfortingly. When she remained quiet, he took another tack and raised his cup. "Come! Here's to ending this war as soon as possible, so we can return to Cairo as a family."
Ana chuckled, and tapped their plastic cups together. "Cheers to that."
Kamilah lay on the sofa, with her back propped up against a stack of cushions as she scrolled through the news on her tablet. She had one hand draped over Fareeha, who was lying against her chest and playing with Ana's purple dragon plush. Kamilah's eyes were fixed on the tablet's screen, skimming superficially through the news as her mind mulled over how quiet the house was.
It had been two days since Ana left. Two days since their home started feeling oddly empty – even more so after Kamilah got an extended break in her schedule, because her current class of cadets had graduated. Staying at home longer only served to accentuate Ana's absence from her life – from their lives. She glanced down at the girl, who was clutching onto the dragon's wings and cooing happily away. It was a relief that Fareeha didn't seem notice Ana's not being there, but Kamilah had given her Ana's toy to play with, just in case.
Closing the news app, Kamilah stared blankly at the screen, at a loss for what to do. Then her finger wandered over to the gallery icon, hovering for a short second before giving a quick tap. The first few photos were of Fareeha – in a bird onesie, crawling on the play rug, smiling up at the camera. A small smile curved her lips as a little hand reached up to the screen, and dragged short chubby fingers down clumsily. Fareeha let out a giggle and did it again, fingers grappling at the phone to get a feel of its smooth texture, scrolling through Kamilah's photos as she did so.
One of Ana feeding Fareeha with a spoon came into view, and Kamilah pulled the phone just out of Fareeha's range, so she could pause and look at the photo.
"That's your mommy, Fareeha," Kamilah said, pointing at Ana's face. Fareeha let out a burble, and grasped onto Kamilah's hand. "I know. She's beautiful, isn't she?"
She swiped to the next photo – Ana carrying Fareeha in the playground – and sighed. "She's so brave, little one. So brave, and strong, and smart." Kamilah tilted her head, then bent down towards Fareeha with a conspiratorial whisper, "But don't tell her I said that, okay? It'll go right to her head."
Fareeha giggled again from the ticklish sensation in her ear.
Kamilah smiled and kissed the top of Fareeha's hair. "Do you think you'll grow up to be like her, Fareeha?" She waited for a reply, swiping to the next photo. "I hope you do. She's a good woman to take after. Well…" Kamilah added when a thought struck her. "Maybe you can get some sense from me. It'll do you some good too."
Fareeha cooed a long 'ah' and looked up at Kamilah, getting a kiss on the nose from her mother. The girl laughed, then turned back to the dragon in her hands, clutching at the horns on its head.
Looking back at her phone with a smile, Kamilah browsed through the photos, until she reached one of Ana with a smear of vanilla ice cream on the corner of her mouth. She sighed again, gazing at the unabashed grin on her wife's face.
"I miss you, you idiot."